My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️
We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!
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......To our lovely DHs and family. That make worth fighting this battle or war! I don't know what I would do without my DHs love and support. He takes care of me. Always has since the first day I met him. He is my best friend and my love. I am fighting to be with him and my kids. My precious family. Your precious families. God bless them all! ~M~0 -
It's so weird how some days you wake up feeling pretty good and other times you wake up feeling like ass. I know headaches are a symptom of ibrance and all hormonal medicines. But when I get a headache I freak out. I get a arm ache. I freak out. I am so sick of hearing the word cancer, Seeing the word cancer, knowing all that it does to you and the load road ahead and the struggle we all seem to face. I just never hated anything quite like this before. Usually when you hate something you can find ways to avoid it . Good tastes like shit, you Don't eat it. An outfit doesn't flatter you, you don't wear it again. Sneakers wear out, you replace them. Why cant we just get rid of this cancer too?Why do we have to deal with this.? While good people all over the world suffer from this horrible disease. You loose people in your life that can't deal with cancer or you. So they fade away. They don't like cancer so they avoid it. They avoid you. I have had that happen with one fair weather friend. "Oh we don't care about your hair, we love you, we'll find a wig, you'll be ok ". Um not really, it's spread.....crickets. Crickets, nothing since that day. Nada! Some people have no balls. And yes I mean men too. I've been so annoyed at that study I read. Why would anyone leave someone they love because they got cancer.? Do they really think this was their choice? Do they really think we choose to have this happen to our bodies.? Our minds? It makes me sick. I just wish I could go back to the time where they said oh. It's a cyst, I wish I would have said no. Get it out now. I am just a shell of what I once was. I was so fit and lean. How can that be just gone ? The best shape of my life? How can that possibly be? So now I am forced every day to live with this monkey on my back. I love my family more than words. As well as you all of course love your families. I have never hated anything so much in my life. The worst part is. I can't run from this, I can't outrun this disease that has grabbed a hold of me, and won't let go. I cant avoid the cancer centers. I can't avoid my onc, or those shitty ass outdated statistics that we are sick of hearing about. I am going to fight you shit head cancer. I am not going gently into thy night. Not by a long shot!!! Love you guys. Stay strong with me. I need you guys!! I am praying for my dear friend, and all of us everyday. ~M~
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my good friend had to go back again to the cancer center. 😰😭. She is having blood pressure issues and heart issues. I'm literally crying and shaking with worry. I love you Diana. I am holding your hand tightly and loving you always. I don't like this at all. Such helpless feelings. I just don't know what to do. For her? Her lovely family For me, for us all. I just don't think any of this is fair. I am so angry and sad right now I don't know If I Am coming Or going!! I went out to the store with my DD. I had to sit down two times because of stupid heat flashes. I was hot as hell. THis weather sucks! I ranTo Walmart and homegoods and out to lunch and you would think I was out running twenty miles or more!! Now I am so tired and soaked from the constant sweating! Any ideas on how to battle these awful heat flashes ? !!? It's like swimming, without the water. Ugh!! Yuck!!! ~M~
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I hope everyone is doing ok. I am still waiting for news on my good friend. Some days having this place to write helps me. I have to have somewhere to get my thoughts out. This disease is so ugly. Every single thing about it is ugly. Except the relationships. You build are real. They are intense real and forever. My husband and I have grown even closer and are more in love than the first day we were together. That's is the one thing cancer hasn't taken from me. The one thing! He's my precious angel. But who would have thought that precious angel would be getting his own angel. Way before we had ever thought possible. So hard to digest. Such a hard jagged pill to swallow. C-can't ever a-answer any questions n-never nice never-c-couldn't wish on my worst enemy e-enemy of us all R-resistance is all we have. Eff you! Cancer
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We went 1000 ish miles...through 6 states..stayed in Wythville VA...now today to the beach...a lot less driving...
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Micmel - I was shocked to read about Dianarose! I have been praying for her and for you. All we can do is pray that God has his hands on her. I'm quite sure he does!
I don't have time to explain what has been going on here, but know that I am fine and will talk to you when I have a break.
Keetmom - Wow 1000ish miles!
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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Claudia~ I hope you're ok. I have been wondering how you have been feeling, and am concerned to make sure you're doing ok? I know this disease is like a sea saw! I am praying for you all as well and always will be. I will wait to hear from you. Hugs my friend.
Keet~ wow you're such a busy bee! I hope that you're not too worn out. You have been burning the candle from both ends for a little while now. I hope you're at least getting the rest that you need. Don't wear yourself out!!
Nan~ we love and miss you! Hope you're ok too!
Mae~ hope radiation wasn't too bad for you. All of you are in my prayers always.
~M~
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Today sucks ass. That's all I can say! I am sick of having cancer and I am sick of living this horrible way. I don't want to do this anymore. Family or no family. This is just no way to live. For any of us. I hope you're ok Claudia. God knows I am not. Why Is it that somedays we feel half decent but then wham. A shitty day makes us realize we are sick. And it's not going to get better only worse. Ive had about enough of it all. It's living a slow torture is what it is. God help us. Because we are going to need it.
Much love but sadness ~M~
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Good morning from the beach....beautiful day here...enjoying listening to wave...took walk on the beach this morning..and ate some amazing seafood. Here are a few pictures..
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Keetmom~Hello beautiful! Looks like a place I would love to be. The sun is shining and look at that water. Love love seafood. That is what the beach is all about. I am so happy thay you're with your family on this wonderful trip. I am amazed at your strength and stamina. You go girl! Thanks for sharing the feast pic. Now I am hungry for seafood lol. Please be safe and hug Emma for me. That special young lady deserves a great time. You're a wonderful mom, wife and person. Enjoy every second of Your time away. Prayers for you and yours. Hugs ~M~
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keetmom, looks like a wonderful time!! I grew up at the beach and miss it dearly, now I wanna find some sand to stick my feet in too. Enjoy!
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I want to go to the beach!! lol I love your emojis Mae! My friend came home from hospital today! I am happy about that. Today is a little achey. But the marathon continues. ~M~
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Yay, glad to hear your friend is home. I want the beach too, surgery and rads have made it impossible this summer. It's a bummer summer
oh, well, when rads are done I'm gonna swim until I can't stand it.0 -
My most favorite place is in Virginia. It's called Chinchoteague and it has a four wheel drive beach. We used to go and spend hours alone with the kids on the beach. There was no one around for miles and we had our own space to spread out, play games, search for whole conk shells. Endless blue skies. Separate reality from anyone around. I loved it and have had some of the most beautiful memories with my DH and kids there. It breaks my heart. I remember one day I was visiting my father in the hospital after a heart episode. We are estranged and have been for years. I went because it was serious. He looked up at me in the most fragile state I had ever seen him and he said "life is fleeting". I had no idea how right he would be. Several years later. I am in the fight of my life. I just want to find who I used to be again. I honestly never thought I would die like this. As we all do we pray to go in our sleep next to our love. I do notwant to have this happen anymore. Don't you ever get weak Mae? You always seem so strong and so upbeat. I want to be like that. ~M~
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Micmel, if you ask my DH if I ever get weak he'd say "hell no! She's a badass!" The truth is not yet. I'm only about 9 months into this diagnosis and still working on completing my first line of treatment and I never had any pain, I still feel good and normal. I do understand the reality of my situation though and know pain/progression could happen at any time. Until then, I will push on, be the good patient and do my best to enjoy things like I always have. Fingers crossed I can be stable or at least get back up when I'm knocked down, I would like to see my 50th birthday.
I've always felt like a lucky person and somehow I still do
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Mae~ I think that is pretty amazing. I think you're a pleasure to be around and I am so glad you found this thread. I hope that you're always doing this well. I don't have a lot of pain. In my mets. But at the end of the cycle of ibrance I get tumor flare. Crabbie pains that ache. But then again it could be anastrazole , which Is also known to cause back pain. So who the heck knows. I have wicked heat flashes. That blows also. I pray we all stay progression free. For many many years. Hugs ~M~
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Thanks Micmel, we just gotta try and do the best we can
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Mae~It seems like you're a glass half full kind of person. Which is a lovely trait to have. Your hubby is a very lucky man. I think you have one of the good ones. My DH is also a gem. How long have you been together. ? If you don't mind my asking. I love your sense of humor. I hope its contagious!! Have a great evening and sleep well!
Claudia ~ 💕Hope all is well.
Keetmom~ hope your beach day was awesome. From the looks of it, it was! Be safe!
Nan~ miss you. Hugs
~M~
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We've been married 17 years this Christmas Eve and together for 19. He is a keeper, poor guy has a history of sympathy pains and has experienced some of my chemo SE's. We are very much in this together.
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Mae~ seventeen years is something else. Congrats on that. I have been with my DH 14. I can't imagine a day without his sweet loving self. I know what you mean when you say we are in it together. He tells me that everyday. I am happy that you have such a great love. That is what this threa is all about. Love for your family. Love for your friends. But most of all love for Your other half, the one that makes your heart skip that beat. The one you would work Miracles for , which is what I am hoping we all receive out of all this treatment and pain and. Mental anguish we all feel from time to time. You're a good woman. So happy You have found your one ! Hugs Mae. ~M~ The thread also has love for friendships and support everyday. Which I have needed quite a lot lately. Have a good week my friend !
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Hi everyone! I have been off for awhile. I had the perfect storm happen a week ago Sunday, after I cleaned my house. My back, which had non cancer issues, flared up big-time. My knee also which again not cancer related. But all those pains caused my left hip to flare up. I was also dealing with extreme constipation, followed by extreme diarrhea. Then with it being my week of Ibrance, I got chills and headaches and weakness x 2 this cycle. So with all that going on, I was a mess. I am finally feeling better today! I am going to Ortho Dr for my knee finally. This has been going on for over 4 months.
With a'll k that going on , there were good things also but so tiring dealing with it all, by evening I felt like a wasteland. I haven't even been able to read much. My eyes weren't focusing well. Enough about that.
Keetmom - Your pictures were great! I hope you enjoyed every minute!
Illimae - You are where I was 12 years ago. How is radiation going? You will start feeling some fatigue from that. Be kind to yourself. You're such a hoot and your Dh sounds great! 50 is a good goal. I never thought 5years ago, that I would see 60. I Just need to make it 3 more days and I will have made it.
Micmel - I didn't mean to leave you hanging. I read up and have been praying for all of us. I have been praying fiercely for Dianarose!
Nan - Thinking about you too and hope you are feeling good!
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bigbhome, today will be my 3rd or 30 rads, fine do far but I know that changes at it goes on. I was active during chemo and plan the same approach with rads, if possible.
Sorry about all the pain/injuries lately, hopefully it all improves soon.
FYI, I started celebrating 1/2 birthdays (before ), next Friday and Saturday are my 42 1/2
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Claudia~so very happy to see your name here. I was getting worried but knew you said you would keep us updated. I am so glad you have emerged from your collage of issues. You poor dear. Sounds like you have also been through the ringer, sounds like the month for it unfortunately! I am just glad your ok and someone is going to have a Birthday🎉🎂💕🎁🎊 (sorry can't compete with our Mae! And her emojis lol loving them!) 60 freaking years old god bless you my friend. I pray I'll see sixty. Not quite sure though. I am only (nods to Mae again) 47 and -1/2! Long time to get there for me. I hope we can make it that long. I pray so hard it hurts! Keep us posted about your knee. I know I had some flare ups myself this weekend. Now nothing! This disease is like cloak and dagger! Ugh!
Hi Mae! Hope you're having a good day!
Keetmom~ still wishing I was where you are !!!
Nan~ love and miss you!
Hugs to all ~M~
Luckily Dianarose came home yesterday. They are still trying to keep it at bay and hit it with more AC! Thank is for the support. You ladies are fabulous!0 -
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She did it !!!!!! Yay Claudia! I thought you said you weren't technically savvy. I beg to differ. Lol yay! You sound like you're in better spirits. I have missed you!! Hugs darling ! ~M~
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Good morning , I hope everyone had a nice sleep, I did I think, just wake up a lot to go to the bathroom, I am continually drinking water because of my self combustion issues. Then I am up twice or three times a night going to the bathroom. Who knows what time I actually fall asleep because my mind decides it needs to think more about my cancer. I tell you all that is the only thing that I tend to know that come rain or shine, will always be that gnat flying around my face. But this gnat has decided to stick around for the rest of My life. There isn't no swatting This gnat away! Life is already hard, throw a cancer diagnosis in the mix, and wham, you understand that, before cancer, now that you realize, things could Be handled. Now it compounds every little problem. I have no tolerance for things going wrong anymore. I just don't have the energy to deal with things that In the grand scheme of things pale in comparison to what we battle daily. Love you guys ! ~M~
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I think this says it all regarding hot flashes...
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Good morning Claudia~hope you're feeling better and having a good week. My DH will be up tomorrow, so I am really looking forward to that. He brightens my life. It's a rainy day here so I am napping. Sometimes sleep is the only place i have peace and don't find myself filled with anxiety or worry. Hugs to you friend! ~M~
Nan~😞 Miss you
Keetmom~ hope your vacation is awesome !
Mae~ hope radiation is moving along safely. And you're doing well!
~M~
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Greetings from the beach...having a wonderful time...did some shopping today..I bought a Coach Purse at the Outlet..it was on clearance so 50% off plus another 40% off....we spend enough time at beach don't need more trinkets...they Have a Tanger Outlet, it is really HOT not logging much beach time because avoiding the sun because of my Taxol, last night DH went on a fishing charter, I caught a HUGE flounder, DH is making it for dinner (nice part of staying in a condo...) now I am just cooling off in the AC...playing some on lap top..here yet tomorrow and then spending a day in Charleston, then home..probably Saturday.
they Have a Tanger Outlet, it is really HOT not logging much beach time because avoiding the sun because of my Taxol, last night DH went on a fishing charter, I caught a HUGE flounder, DH is making it for dinner (nice part of staying in a condo...) now I am just cooling off in the AC...playing some on lap top
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Keetmom~ is there anything you can't do? Look at you catching that flounder!!! Way to go. I am speechless! All I want to do is sleep and you're fishing !!!! On a very big boat!! You make it look so easy. And you look so pretty!! You and DH are adorable. Thank you so much for sharing that awesome time with us !!!! I can't imagine doing all the things you're doing. I think you're wonderful. You and you're darling family deserve these memories. So happy to see you smile like that! Big hugs for you Aimee!! Yay you! ~M~ P.s.i want a coach purse!!! lol awesome. I have to say that pic of you and your hubby is precious. Honestly. That is what this thread is all about. I love it. Thank you for sharing that with us. Love you guys !
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Very cool keetmom! I plan on fishing in the Gulf with DH and bestie in October. So much fun
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It happened quick..really am not a big fisher person.. it was lots of fun...boat wasn't really that big....it was hard to balance...I'm tired tonight..but honestly I feel SO much better when I am active...
So this went to a friend of mine because we joke about how DH gives me a hard time about my purse problem..of course he took the picture
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Oh Keetmom, that looks like you had a great time! I'm so glad you are enjoying your family! Thanks for sharing your pictures! I envy your fish catching ability, I have never been able to catch a fish. Caught a duck when I was young. Very traumatic experience! The duck lived! Enjoy your last few days!
Illimae - October is a great month to be in Florida, not too hot, not too cold! One of my favorite times to ride!
We are taking the horses camping in Tennessee in the middle of October this year! Can't wait! We want to enjoy the fall colors on horseback. I have to get my butt in gear and stay legging them up.
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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Keetmom~ lol at your purse problem. Lol we all have our vices. I think you look adorable. How can someone look so good in a scarf?. But you honestly do. You have natural beauty. I think you're amazing. I would have loved to traipse through the store with you. I am also no fisher man. My DH is however, but then again he can do anything and everything. He's my amazing rock. I can't tell you how much seeing all your pictures makes me want to go on a trip with my DH. I have Set a goal to go somewhere with him in late fall. Just him and i. Even if I have to rest a lot more than I would want to. I need that time with him. I love your purse. Sounds like an outlet I need to go too. Please be safe as you travel home. I can't believe we are already seeing back to school commercials and the summer is already ending. Amazing how time really does fly by. Hugs to all ~M~
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M- try to get away...it is mentally healing...our family does stuff at our own pase...my middle Dd is also special needs, so we do things our own. Way, take breaks as needed...maybe don't do some of the exciting things people with "normal" kids our kids age do...we seize the moment and do what we can..and make memories as we can...
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keetmom~we talked about it tonight, we are planning a small trip together in the middle of October. We are going to rent a cabin and just relax together alone. I love to read and sit on a porch with a blanket and a book. If he wants to golf , that is fine. I will be in nature and my book and reading. Then we will build a fire and spend some good time together. I love the changing of the leaves and the smell of the crisp fall air. I can't tolerate the heat like i used to since the heavy chemo. Taxol is considered aggressive chemo!!You're amazing. Thanks for the inspiration!!! I love that you don't let anything keep you from doing things on your own speed. I am always so exhausted. This ibrance gives out some major fatigue. But I am going to do it !!!! Yes I am. Have fun for the rest of your trip, and I love your pics! Be safe traveling home and keep the pics coming ! Hugs and prayers to your special family! ~M~
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M- Im gonna be honest with you, I feel better on IV chemo then I did Ibrance, Xeloda or Affinitor...maybe a day here or there where not feeling great but I am doing every 3 weeks so I have plenty of time in between to enjoy life
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Keetmom~I have heard that ibrance does that, I feel tired all the time and I am finding out that each month brings a new layer of exhaustion, I am getting ready to start my tenth month of taking it. I can't even begin to really complain because, it seems to be working. My tumor markers were normal last month and am praying for that to continue. I am So thrilled that you are able to do what you want to do. That is so imperative for our mental stability! I always think ugh. Maybe next month it won't be so bad. I am thinking it's starting to be accumulating in my system and never lets up an inch. The only week I notice any difference is my week off, but half way into that week off I have to have my XGeva shot, whic opens up Another set of whoopass on me as far as side effects. Talk about being tired. Ugh! I sleep all day and feel aches and pains the next Few days after. By the time I am done with that, it's time to begin again the new months cycle. I just pray it keeps working for me. People ask me sometimes what I do for work. These days I say I have career in cancer, somehow they never bring up that topic again. Grrrr some people so annoy me. Have a great rest of your trip. So glad you're feeling well! Hugs friend ~M~
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Hope everyone is doing good today. DH is coming today which I am thrilled. I am hoping Nan's shower went well and that she is making many memories. I am holding her seat for her. Wishing everyone a pretty good day. I am feeling pretty good today so I am thankful!! Hugs to all and much Love! ~M~
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Claudia~ you doing ok my friend ? Are are you having a heat flash??? I am thinking of you guys ! Lol at you figuring out the emojis lol you're persistent , I hope everything is ok. I'll be waiting to hear from you !! Hugs all ~M~
Hi Mae~ Hoping radiation is going ok and you're still not feeling any pain. Hugs my friend.
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Keetmom ~ hoping the rest of your vacation is as happy as those sweet pictures you've posted! I am going away. , I think I can I think I can!!! Hugs ~M~
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Good morning everyone. Hope all is well. Mae ~ how are you feeling ?? Today is lovely outside. DH is going for a bike ride. I am taking a short nap. Always so sleepy anymore. Thanks to lady ibrance. Hope all is going good for everyone. Big hugs ladies!! ~M~
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Micmel, I'm doing good, rads #6 just moments away. Today is one of those days when I feel great and wonder how I can feel this good with cancer but I doubt ALL those tests were wrong. Anyway, I hope it lasts many years.
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Mae~I am sitting here smiling. I am pleased that you're having such a good day. I myeldalso have days like that, but then I have a heat flash and I am Reminded that the side effects sucks. For me somdays it can run in blocks, I wake up feeling good and then wham. I am not as good and need a nap. I am happy number 6 is beyond you! Way to go!! I hope you continue on this path of feeling so great for many years as well my friend ! Hugs ~M~
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Good Friday morning! DH cooked me some yummy edible brownies and they do relax me wonderfully! I recommend trying them to anyone who has some nauseous issues. I had a lovely night hanging with my DH watching television and just chilling. It's a cloudy one. DH wants to take a ride. I find myself not even wanting to go outside sometimes. If I hide in my house then maybe this really hasn't happened To me And my family. Screw youcancer. Any other time I would be going someplace this weekend. Hiking and driving all Day trips and weekend jaunts. Now the only jaunt I feel like is getting my nap in. Have a good Friday ladies. Hugs ~M~
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Happy weekend. Spending time with my DH. Hope everyone is ok. Claudia? Keetmom? Back yet? Mae~ hope are rads are going ok for you! Do you get. Breaks on weekends. Miss and love Nan!
Hugs guys. Anything good you did this weekend ? Hugs and prayers! ~M~
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I don't know what is with me today. I am very sad today. I get into these tail spins that I can't get out of. I hate this disease. Every single show I watch has to have a couple in it. Has to involve sex. I hate myself and how I look now so why on earth would I want to remind myself of that?!? I am a shell, broken and left behind on the beach from a strong wave leaving me behind,alone. I don't know how long I have. I just am lost even inside my life and even when I am laying In his arms. All I can think about it that there is an almost certainty that someone else will be there at some point soon. I die inside over and over again with this thought. It's like why wait? Why am being tortured this way loosing slowly and still being so mentally being sharp to know what's going on? Why would I want to remain feeling like a place holder for something else that will be taking my place when I am gone. Who can really feel loved and safe when you're going to be replaced.? Only at some point to be forgotten? . Someone else gets to live in my Place, I get to die. What a great life this turned out to be. Why on earth would I want to continue to suffer when I already know the ending. To me It just seems cruel.its mental torture for anyone to have to go through. I am so broken inside of my body and my heart so basically I am left with nothing. Just nothing. If I really think about it. I am so lost and feel so alone. Even in a room filled with people. Those people aren't sick. In five years their All Still Going to be Sitting in the same place talking. But I'll be gone. How is any of that fair ? My home, I worked hard for. My family. I raised since birth. My DH I searched a life time. Gone in one lump. One day. One second. One lifetime. For what? It's just unspeakable really. Hope everyone else is doing better. ~M~
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We got home at 3 am...drove all 20 hours in on day, nice thing is we have today to get back to reality and still have tomorrow...it was a LONG ride..but it was great to sleep in our own beds..
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Micmel,
I am so sorry you are feeling sad today. I'm not married so I can't relate exactly to your grief over imagining someone else with your husband but I do know what it feels like to be erased from my old life. I am trying to adjust to this new normal but really I want my old normal back most of the time!
Maybe I have a very optimistic oncologist but she told me last fall that I might live a good life for several years even though I was "grossly metastatic." So far she has been right for these past 11 months. You might outlive your husband-seriously! None of knows our future but since you reported that your tumor markers are down, why not hope for the best? The best way to fxxx this cancer is to live today with gusto, the best that we can, and not let cancer ruin days that could otherwise be perfectly good. I am glad you are planning a getaway with your DH in October.
I really related to an older post of yours of not wanting to go back to your old health club-but maybe until the weather breaks you can exercise indoors at home-running in place, to videos, etc until you can get back out there jogging. I wish you all the best. ((Gentle hugs)).
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Micmel, I'm sorry you're having such a down day but your not a place holder, your impact on people has nothing to do with your lifespan. DH and I have had dogs for many years, at one point we had 6, mom, dad and 4 babies, we kept and raised them all and now have only one. The first born was a boy we named fat and I adored him. He used to stare at me with the sweetest eyes, I was his whole world. He had a rare disease and had to be put to sleep a few years ago after he refused to take IV fluids and eat, he was 10 years old. Our connection wasn't dog/owner, it was soul to soul and I am still heartbroken. Ive had dogs before and after him but he was never a placeholder, he was extra special. He was and still is beloved.
As for me, I'm very well, work and radiation have kept me busy. Today I'm cleaning as my dough rises, making homemade pizza tonight.
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Chicago~ welcome and hello. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. It really is such a shitty disease to have to deal with. I appreciate your kind words and needed to read something like that , and there your post was so thank you for that. I used to go to the gym every week roughly five days a week and and hour and half work out with 6 miles running and weight training. I was a tank. I don't feel like Telling everyone what is going on, and say no I'll Never be done treatment! Then one day a lump appeared? Then my life as I knew it was in my memory only and that's where it still is. The cancer kills you and The treatments steal your youth and beauty and self esteem and every other thing that is good.i try hard to keep a good attitude but somedays it just hits me. And I hear myself saying out loud "I have cancer " it's like it's not real even after all this time. But it seems like we are fighting long but 18 mons compared to decades I could loose. Makes me so mad. That I just can't function sometimes because I am so gutted from this diagnosis! I hope you will come Around and pull up a seat here and join us! We scream cry yell share comfort each other and all genuinely care for each other. Hugs to you !
Keetmom~ you go girl. I am so envious of Your trip. How is Emma doing.? And mom? You a tired bear or what? Back to reality, loved your beach pics and thanks for taking us along With you. You were like our weekend beachside update reporter!! Lol.
Hugs and much love ~M~
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Thanks Micmel for the welcome and the hug. I used to be really fit myself but now I am too self-conscious to go to the yoga classes I loved because I can't do half of what I used to. But I practice alone at home, and day by day am making slow progress. Today I decided to risk taking a hike with a "meet-up" type of group b/c I have been getting stronger. I was able to do the 10 miles but was so far behind the rest of the group-no one waited so I was hiking the whole time by myself. So I can definitely relate to wanting my old body back but I am trying to appreciate this new body which is trying so hard to be well and healthy again.
Hope the rest of the weekend is good!
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Emma is doing good..we did have one incident of vomiting while on vacation, I am wondering about Gaul Bladder..I will call her NP next week. I'm good, just tired today...don't do well on 4 hours of sleep, so I will be in bed soon catching up on dvr...
I SO agree with Chicagoan, its tough but try to live for today, I will be honest with you if you had told me 7 years ago Emma would still be with us, and not just that thriving...I wouldn't have believed you, but she is....we have never talked what ifs with her and I am sure that has a lot to do with it, because on paper she shouldn't be doing as good as she is...but she shocks the medical professionals...0 -
Chicago ~ Its a hard pill to swallow. But how awesome is that, that you're hiking ten miles? !! I am in awe, that is quite an accomplishment! I am going to get out and try to walk a lot when the weather gets cooler outside, and the leaves start to turn. I love the crisp air. Not to mention the crazy ass heat flashes, with this heat! I am inspired by you and your ability to even go hiking at all. Honestly wow! Before summer I was jogging roughy 11 to 13 miles a week. But then the heat came and not so much. What is it that you do to be able To hike like that. ??
Keetmom~I am happy that Emma is doing well. That's so important, I am so glad your family took that vacation together! I am also looking forward to going away in October. I just hope I continue to feel good, I realize my issue is more emotional and centered around my husband. Thank you for the advice, god knows you and your family have so very much to deal with. I realize I am still feeling grief over the entire last year. Basically it's been a fog. You mentioned Emma got sick? Is she feeling better now? I hope!!!?
Much love all ~M~
Claudia 💜
Nan💕
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Mae ~your post snuck in there. I see the doggies !!! I always wanted one!!😌😌💜of the bulldogs!! THey are precious little guys. I wish I had enough property to have a rescue facility and help dogs. It makes me so sad to loose them. They do feel like family. I know I can't be replaced per say. But I just don't want to share my most special closest person in my life. They say that one is cliche. But For me. It is honestly truthful. I believe it is for you and your DH too! Great on the radiation! Number 7!? This Monday? 💐 ~M
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I think when I was diagnosed, if I think back to that horrible time when the humming was still in the back round and I saw the doctors lips moving. If I search back I remember little tid bits of warnings for things that could happen as a result of the actual Treatments. Lymphedema, other primary cancers , nerve damage, bone breakage due to lack of hormones. Which we can't avoid. We have to take the Medicine. If we don't the doctors look at us like we are nuts. If the cancer can't be cured then why bother. It's only prolonging the suffering of so many, that even think they have beaten the evil "C" when I only believe it's dormant someplace else laying in wait. They really never explained very much to me. Even the port, that I realize I'll never be with out. Another parting Gift that I didn't ask for but received. Only until I had a problem (lymphedema) were they like oh yeah we mentioned this originally. Oh right you mean that Nano second of a mention during the worst time of my life??. Who would Have thought to make the actual patient or care givers really understand what to look for? They just don't take enough time to explain the possibilities and educate us on what is happening to our bodies. Not theirs. Our bodies. We are like cattle in and out. Next time you are at your oncs office. Look around. There are so many people dealing with cancer. What is causing it???Environmental? The food we eat? Are they injecting the animals we eat with un natural hormones? Something is happening. For sooo many people all over the world are having this happen to them. Otherwise healthy people ?!! It doesn't make sense !! Grrrr so annoying ! Have the best Sunday possible. ~M~
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I hope everyone had a good weekend! This is my week off of ibrance. Wednesday I get my XGeva shot and blood work. I hate walking into the cancer center after not being there since last month. The smells just get me. I usually do pretty good on my week off! But theshot makes me so tired for a few days after. I will take the week off and feeling good. Hope everyone is ok today! Hugs ~M~
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...... I very much agree with this wholeHeartedly ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ~M~
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.....for anyone dealing with this. I know what it's like. I'll be heading there tomorrow for blood work and my Monthly shot of XGeva. I hope everyone knows the support here is real. Love you all hope everyone is ok. Starting to worry !!!
I think someone should hand you a manual on how to go through cancer without not Wanting to strangle someone or feeling like taking a long jump off of a short pier!
Mae ~ hope your radiation is going well. Hug the doggie for me please. ~M~
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On my way soon to bloodwork and my XGeva shot. Yuck another constant reminder of what I have inside me. I sleep and try to eat. Sometimes cry, sometimes I don't know where I went wrong or what road I went down to end up in Cancerville. There were no directions. No signs,nothing except a small bump. Then it was a pothole. Now I can't get back to my home Base of sanity and feeling normal. I used to love to drive to the gym. Thinking how happy I was and how much I was settling into my age and my life finally was what I wanted it to be. I am still in such shock when I see pictures of who I used To be. It makes me so mad. I have no emotional strength at all. Talking to myself about wills and arrangements. Even though they haven't said anything like that. Other then the all too willing stats they present you with and end "with its treatable". But don't tell You the treatment knocks you into oblivion on some days. They don't tell you that The AI's suck the stability from your bones and joints and all you can do is sit by and watch and wait and worry. The three W's. You can tell Me how precious life is and I agree it is. But when you're handed this type of diagnosis, can we even apply that to our lives anymore? Maybe someone else's life is precious, but now a days mine are spent alone, stuck, having a perfectly good mind? But a waining body that struggles to keep up with the slightest activity. Equipped with the knowledge that I have cancer. The knowledge that today won't be the last blood draw or XGeva shot. That I have to keep going Back to that place that it all Started over a year and half ago. My worst fear. Anyone's worst fear. Has happened. There is nothing I can do about it. Nothing.
Claudia and Nan~worriedabout you guys. Hope all is ok and I love you guys
Keetmom~hope you're recovered from your awesome trip. I am so envious of your energy and stamina! You're a wonderful Mother and person. Love you too.
Mae~ I am guessing round 8 or 9 by now. Of radiation You're our room trooper! Show us how it's done!!!! Give us some of your ssuper strength!! Do you ever feel down or weak? Ive never seen a hint of that from you. It makes me jealous lol that I am so pathetic.
Chicago~hope all is well with you as well. I can't believe the summer is already basically over that kinda sucks. But I love fall. Maybe because I sweat for a living now. Hugs to everyone. ~M~
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Good morning ladies!
Today is rads #9 and I do feel better than I rightfully should. I appreciate my normalcy but it also confuses me (why don't I hurt, could docs be wrong, etc) and I hate to see so many others in pain. I attribute my upbeat attitude to having low expectations generally and remembering that things could always be worse.
Have a good day all
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Good luck today Micmel with your Xgeva shot. I had mine on Monday-there was a new tech who was really great-it was painfree and she talked to me like I'm a normal person which I always like! Hope your experience is good today too.
Illimae-hope your rad treatment is short and sweet and does its work.
I'm feeling good today. I started swimming again in August at the park district pool. First time I warned the life guard-I just said I hadn't swam in a long time. I did have to stop in the middle of each lap-they are 50 yards long but I felt good and free. Yesterday was my fifth time and I made it through every lap without stopping so it gave me a lift. After all my spinal mets it feels good to swim-like things are getting put back to the right place.
Hope that everyone has a good day with some nice surprises and blessings!
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Mae~ I always enjoy your positivity and I am hoping it's contagious. lol I need some of that. I always hear people say attitude is everything and I agree when I look atyou and your attitude and uplifting tones all the time. I think It is wonderful that you feel so great !! Mine I know is more mental, Because I have very little pain. I just miss the way I used to be, but we all know we as human beings aren't really good at change. I know I am not. Especially one this harsh. I hope #9 goes smoothly and you continue down this road of good feeling!! Hugs!! To you !!
Chicago~ good afternoon! I used to love to swim. When I was in middle school and high school,I was in the water show and was in the pool for hours at a time. It is very full body activity, if I had a pool, I would be in it daily! Shot is over and done with. Didn't hurt at all, just hate the port access smells. So I learned just not to breathe until they were finished!i also had a good nurse as well. She did a Good job and it was fine! Just hope my meds prep was adequate enough to prevent joint and body aches! I hope you all have a great day. Much love. ~M~
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Micmel-Glad your shot went well! Fingers crossed for no joint or body aches. Hope you have a good afternoon.((Hugs))
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Chicagoan, congrats on the swimming! I love love love the water, can't wait to get back in after rads.
Micmel, the port access smells don't bother me but the taste of the saline does, I have a bag of sugar free candy with me and pop one as they unpack their kit.
Things are changing and happening fast today. I picked up DH who is in town for work today and had planned to go to Austin Friday for a retirement party but Tropical Depression Harvey won't have it! I'm already getting work related texts and the Austin trip is cancelled. I work on contracts in the transportation industry, so flooded roadways are a big deal for me, when the emergency operations center is activated, I am on high alert but waiting. I prefer to be in low stress mode but can't sit back and watch others struggle to do the things I know so well. Ugh, gonna be a busy week/weekend.
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Its a beautiful day here in WI...it is in high 60s with no humidity. Back for Taxol tomorrow and my Xgeva shot..thinking we will scan in 3 weeks..feeling pretty good though, started back in my stay strong class today...
Stay safe Mae..
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Keetmom~so nice to see you. Glad You're recovered from your trip. I so much want to start my running again butthe weather is a bit too hot for my liking. Good luck at your class. Way to go !
Chicago~ hope your day is pain free. And in the pool!
Mae~ great idea for the mint snacks. I think I'll try that next month!! Thanks. I can't believe the Summer is over. How many rads are you having? Sorry if I asked that before !?
Claudia~ really hope you're ok. Miss you and Nan lots !! ~M~
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Hi all, I feel like I have been gone forever! We have so much going on with our yard upgrades, especially since the original plan had to be completely scrapped. Honestly, the stress had been horrible, 4 migraines in a week last week, 2 of them the worst I have had in decades. But today, feeling better and the projects are taking shape. I think we might make our end of year deadline.
Mae, you stay safe. ok. So glad rads are going well. You may be like I was...I went for weeks feeling great, then one day I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck. I got to do that day and they all said finally, we have been waiting for the fatigue to hit. I would puncture the tires on that Mack truck for you if I could!
Keetmom, so glad your vacation was good and so incredibly jealous of your beautiful weather!
Chicagoan, I was so happy to see swimming brings you the same feeling of freedom I have. It seems like nothing hurts in the water and we could swim forever, with little breaks, of course! It's so great you found that pool! Now that we have ours, I always want to invite everyone over to enjoy it with me!
Micmel, have you thought about getting out more? I know its taxing, but what about a yoga class. Restorative yoga is easy on the body and you will feel like a new person afterwards. Also, what about having friends over for lunch, or going out to lunch? Do you belong to a church? Could you maybe do something there? What about a book club, I know you like to read? Do you have a community pool in your area, or a YMCA? Swimming and water aerobics are awesome! Before we built our pool, we had the rubber ones from big lots, we would get a new on every year and I would get in and do water aerobics and float. I loved it! Wal-Mart has them marked way down now. A thought. Can you go with Dh when he is out of town? Im just offering suggestions because honestly, it sounds like you are alone too much and that making it harder for you! Please know im not criticizing or making light of your feelings. I had this same problem awhile ago when Dh was traveling all the time. It got pretty bad until I started forcing myself to get out of three house and find things to do. I hope your xegeva shot is not bad today, I can honestly say that I don't miss those.
Did you see deadliest catch last night? Omg, I cried! Do you think Jake will make it back next year? Or Sig? So beautiful, what they did for Jonathan!
Hugs and prayers everyone,
Claudia
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Claudia~yay! To see you here. I am thrilled to know you're doing ok. I agree I need to go out more. I have beensetting a goal to do something each day, wether it's just a drive alone. It does help me get my mind off of things. I agree with everything you said. My mind does seem to play tricks on me sometimes. Thank you for the advice and kind words.
Keetmom~hug Emma for me please and can't wait to hear how your class went'. I may try something of a yoga nature. I'm clumsy though lol don't know how that would go over.
Chicago~ you're a lovely addition to our family and hope you'll share anything you may need to let out. Family zone here!
Mae~ I am going to think of you tackling #10 and I am hoping Against hope you do not experience any fatigue from the radiation. If any one can do it. You can!
Let's say a prayer for our fellow MBC sister Lita. She has had some major progression and she's scared and suffering in shock. I hate this disease. So much I can't explain.
Sleep well and many prayers and gentle big hugs. ~M~
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.....just little humor to start out our day. Love you guys! It is seriously like that though for women, so I thought I'd share the laughter! Hugs to all! Thinking of you Lita💐
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So true!😅
Claudia
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Thanks for the great laugh to start my day-I practically spit out my water! Wishing a wonderful day to all.
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Lol you guys are great, I am so happy to have all of you here. It helps to know someone laughed and smiled like I did when I saw that. Hugs guys!! ~M~
Hope everyone has a great day. Strong day. Have a Love filled day.
Nan~ I miss you.
Claudia~ i did see deadliest catch. Of Course I cried at the end when they did they flares for him. I want Jake Harris to come back. I miss him and that history of the ship with his dad Phil. Who I adored from the show. It's such a. Good show. Like you said with out the sex, like the soaps. !! Much love to all. ~M~
Keetmom~ hope all is good with your class!
Mae~ waving hi to you!!
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Class was good yesterday, I have crappy balance and they work on that....it is at the YMCA and free....and you get a free membership.
I had an appointment for more Taxol today...oncologist said my liver numbers were perfect everything was with in normal..which is the first time in a long time...scan in 3 weeks but he was confident that the scan will show stable or better...so that makes being bald worth it! Now I am gonna relax for a while...we had a new patio poured this week...cant wait until we can use it...will add pictures when I can get in back yard
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Chicago ~ I was looking at your diagnosis and I'm wondering if you meant 2016 diagnosis vs 2017 because September of 2017 hasn't happened yet. I hate those roll down selection drop downs! I was thinking we were diagnosed around the same time! Am I seeing things ? Hugs ~M~
Keetmom~ I have no balance whatsoever ever either. I am proud you're going. I might do something like that when the weather isn't too hot!! Please show the patio. I love seeing where you all live. Shame we all can't all sitdown together for real. It would be so special. Like old friends.
Hugs everyone. ~M~
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It is 16x24....we need to build a step so Emma can get out easily...we originally talked doing a deck but they came back at $17,000 for same size deck...this was less then 1/3 of that...
So I will share a story with you, In 2015 we started looking for 1 story houses because our old house had lots of steps, was 100 years old, DH had to help Em up and down stairs she was a prisoner in her own home and then around this time we found out my cancer was back and in my bones, I had a compression fracture in L2 and was told no more carrying laundry baskets up all the stairs, 3 weeks later we found out Emma had MAJOR progression and needed to start chemo, she was started on a clinical trial and given a drug that the get 25 mg, and she was getting 175, it knocked her out and made it even harder for her to get around.
My family stepped up and started a fundraiser for our family,by early Feb we were able to buy and move into this house, it has a first floor laundry, bedrooms on first floor, it has a finished basement so oldest has room to go when she is home, it is PERFECT and more then we could have ever asked for, it taught us how wonderful people are, it was really hard to put our selves out there that much but we will be forever grateful that we did it...(I am in WI so I know you wouldn't be able to buy a house in many areas of the country for what we got this house for)
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Micmel-Thanks for pointing out I had the wrong year! I fixed it now. I was diagnosed last September, so it's been a little over 11 months now. I pretty much knew I had cancer but didn't realize it had spread so much until I got really sick. I just didn't want to be a "cancer patient" and was trying a lot of alternative stuff. So for me, getting into treatment has been good-I feel so much better than I did a year ago.
Keetmom-What a great looking patio! Should be the place for lots of fun and relaxation.
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Chicago~ looks like the treatments are also the same way. 2017. I can never get my treatments to show either and they seem to repeat a lot of what we already selected. Anyhoo. What a pain cancer is period! The day I was diagnosed I had ran 6 miles in an hour. I was like the wind. I did have some on and off back pain. I just thought I was because I was back benching 130 pounds. I was weight lifting? I still Can't believe this has even happened. I worry now if I even tried I might snap in half! How did you know you had cancer if you don't mind sharing ?
Keetmom~ ❤️Love love ❤️ that story. There should be more stories like that. You have a wonderfully amazing family and you so deserve to have that home for your family. Emma deserves to be comfortable in her home. I teared up when I read how people'sGenerosity made that happen. There truly is good in many people. I believe a lot are here! 😊 I love sitting outside in the fresh air. I think the patio was a nice choice. Decks are hot hot and the wood even breaks down a lot faster than concrete would. Congrats on your patio! Love it!
Hugs to all ~M~
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Micmel-I had a lump for at least 9 years and tried alternative treatments throughout that time. I had always been so healthy so I thought my immune system plus the alternatives might cure the cancer. I had a cousin who died in her early forties from cervical cancer. It seemed that the treatments weakened her so much and I thought she might have lived longer with less discomfort if she did nothing. That's partly why I so resisted becoming a cancer patient. For most of the 9 years I was strong, energetic and healthy. In early 2016 I noticed shortness of breath when I ran up stairs with a backpack in cold weather so I didn't think too much of it. Then as the year went on my shortness of breath got worse, I was coughing all the time, getting weaker and having trouble eating. I was still working but it got to the point where I could barely turn myself over in bed at night. Friends and family noticed so I finally saw a doctor. I am grateful to be alive, given that I let things go for so long. I honestly don't regret my choices. My doctor tells me there are lots of things to try if the Ibrance fails so I feel optimistic that I may have many more good years. I'm hoping to see the next eclipse-in totality next time! Thanks for asking.
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That is quite a story. I have to say! I can't imagine having that in my body for that long time period, you must have had one of the best immune systems around! I just wish there was never anything such as cancer. It's quite scary. I have had some of the heavy chemo already and it's a doosey. I know some tolerate it better than others, but I hated it. I just pray we stay stable on our current treatments until remission is told to us. What kind of alternative Meds's where you trying. I'm curious because someone I know that my DH works withs wife is also trying that as well, unfortunately I don't think it's working too well for her which is sad. So scary all these young women dying too early. I myself am only 47. Scares me to think that my time may already be running out. So lame. Thank you for sharing. Sleep well.
Mae~ hope number ten went well and that you're doing fine today! Hugs you strong woman you! I'm surrounded by amazing women here. I feel honored. God bless you all. ~M~
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#10 done, potential flying projectiles in the yard secured, now I am cautiously optimistic that Hurricane Harvey will be less of a beast than we fear. Tomorrow rads bumped up, so employees can go home early, I don't blame them, I'll be semi on-call this weekend
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Mae~ thank goodness you're doing ok with Rads and that you're safe with that crazy storm. I know with your job you must have been awake late late Into the night, another amazing fact about you.. you still work.
Good morning Claudia beautiful!!! Hope everyone has a good day. I am off to see my
oncologist today. Hope everyone has a pain free good day. Much love everyone ~M~0 -
Mae - I just heard the new forecast re:Harvey, please stay safe and know that we are thinking of you and praying for the whole Gulf Coast in Texas. We have a family member in Katy and our dils best friend is in Houston. So we are watching. I'm sure that like people in Florida, you are prepared. Gas, batteries, food, water, radio, generator, cash, an evac plan, notification plan, bulldog plan and can I repeat, water. Sorry, old habits die hard. I am always shocked at the number of people who are not prepared. We were so prepared for Matthew , other than no power and lots of limbs down, we barely noticed. But we were ready for worse. Please take care and try to check in now and again.
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sorry but lmao at bull dog plan!! Too funny. I went to onc today. He said no more monthly XGeva, or monthly blood work. Moved out to three months!! He said I am doing great. Scan though in November, which would be 6 months out from last scan, so poo poo on that. But my tumor markers were 18!!!! Normal he also said I have minimal disease in my bones and that he is more than pleased at how I am doing so I don't need to go back to the cancer center for three months. I feel I am dreaming. I am so thankful there are no words. I pray we all all hear those words. Remission or cure sometime soon. Thank you all for always holding me up when I fall into my worm hole. I was sad though because my favorite onc nurse assistant was leaving, today was her last day! I cried my eyes out. This woman is wonderful and she has helped me so many times when I was down and when i needed some pep talking. She was there. I adore her. I was so sad. I'm going to miss her so much. She had breast cancer at age 18 and went to her prom bald. She knows what it's like. I feel like today has been the best day I've had in a very long time. ❤️Love you guys
Be safe Mae!! Hugs. Please lets us know you're safe. I hope you keep your power.
Claudia. That was really cute about the bulldogs lol
Keetmom~ enjoying your patio??? Beautiful!!
Chicago~ you have shown me that people can live a long time even without the commercialized Treatments'. Now that you're in treatment. May you get decades more my friend.
Nan~ 😰😰😞love you Miss you. Lots. Keep waiting to see your beautiful face here!
God bless you wonderful ladies. ~M~
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Micmel-What great news! Here's to life!
Mae-Here's hoping the storm won't be too bad for you Texans. You all are in our thoughts and prayers.
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I'm ready and have everything but the generator, fortunately, my neighborhood's power is underground and we were only out for 8 hours during Hurricane Ike, which was a direct hit. I don't expect too much wind from Harvey, just rain. Oh and I absolutely have a bulldog plan, lol. He has his own go bag with a week supply of food, meds and a jacket, if he gets cold. I have everything I need to, old habits from growing up in California and having a disaster box for earthquakes. I'll check in periodically, thanks for asking
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good morning everyone.
Mae~ was thinking about you all and hoping you're doing ok. And safe. I was watching the headlines in the news and it looks like a hell of a storm. So scary. I just hope your home and your family are doing ok. You're all in my prayers as always. Love to you all !! Hugs ~M~
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Good morning, everything is ok here. I slept well enough, woke briefly to thunder and lightning but that's a normal Texas summer, Hurricane or not.
I did just see an interesting email from my mother, who actually said "I'm am worried about you this weekend. Cancer is just a minor thing compared to Mother Nature."
Maybe I'll try some of that denial in my coffee, it must be delicous
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Mae~Hi so glad to see you here and posting. Was praying all was safe with you and your family! That is an interesting email honey! I think things can be rebuilt, but our bodies can't! Ugh! My mom is the same way!! The river denial! Hugs and safety sweet Mae!! Please keep us posted, so that we may make sure you're ok! 💙You ~M~
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Keetmom~I just went back and saw your good news! Yes being bald is worth it !! Congrats on your great news. Seems like we have some strong women here! I am so pleased you're on a good treatment and I am praying we all are going to find exactly what works for us! How is Emma and everyone not else in the family ? Hugs ~M~
Claudia~ where are you darling ? Hope all is well. Hugs sweety ~M~
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hi sisters.....i know its been a lil while since i checked in last but i've been so tired i really cant see straight....my hemoglobin has been so low that at my last 4 chemo tx they gave me double doses of procrit (med to boost blood) and i've had 3 blood transfusions in the last 3 weeks...honestly, i still feel so tired i'm kinda worried they may discontinue some of my tx....i do iv havalen and a daily parp inhibitor called lymparza....my last set of scans didnt look to bad so these meds must be doing some good which is probably why i'm getting the blood instead of stopping tx...i'm just not sure if they can pump it in faster than these drugs are eating it...i found a dress for my daughters wedding and i just hate how i look right now, i spent the extra money to have it altered to fit perfect but i look like uncle fester again (no hair, lashes or brows)...my family hates all the wigs that friends have let me try but they are used to seeing me this way and say bald is better than a frumpy wig...maybe i'll look for a light blue or baby pink one cuz even tho the dress fits well i still feel like i have a tiny pea head (gabba gabba hey) and a way to large body...i need some balance here....this is such a huge event, she is my only child and i just dread those horrible photos with me in them.
MIC!!!!....scans every 6 months is such awesome news!!!..i'm so very happy for you...i'm doing the dumbest happy dance ever!!!....my dogs are just looking at me real funny, lol....you are such a sweetheart for always remembering me...now that your scans are clear will you still be here to talk to?
i was putting that dr seuss quote in my notebook for my daughter and i came across one i wanted to share with all you dear souls.....
"i would like to remind you, when you are having a particularly rough day, that your track record for surviving particularly rough days is 100% percent.....and that is pretty damned good"....you all can do this.....love you, nancy
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Not using the patio because it is rainy here and suppose to rain all day tomorrow...
Nan- I too hate wigs..got lots of cute hats...
Hope you are safe Mae
Mic-Emma and gang are doing good...Our oldest came home for a bit today...filled her up with food from my Costco Pantry....
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NAN~ 😭❤️I am so happy to see you. You made my day. I was waiting to see your loveliness here and here you are ! I want to say I know exactly how you feel About clothing, I hate the way I look now. I gained so much weight with going through this Chemo. I am going to be our holiday ham. I am sure you will be the beautiful mother of the bride. I am thrilled you're going to be there. Like my DH told me today, "you have to stop Being so hard on yourself". So I can understand exactly how you are feeling. Nothing I wear looks attractive at all I am filled with water retention like a water bag.
I am not going anywhere!! I may have no measurable disease, but I am still stage four and still fighting right along side of you All, I adore you Guys. I love reading all the posts and sharing. We need each other !!! It's still in my bones very small non evasive areas notbig enough to even measure. But I just pray the medicines continue to work for me. I don't want it to spread. That is the key. I pray for you every night. For all of you!!
Claudia
Keetmom
Mae
Chicagoan
We have a wonderful nice group here. I'm not going anywhere. So wonderful to see you Nan. Hope everyone is ok and Mae is safe in the storm. Hugs and prayers. ~M~
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Micmel - OMG! I am over the moon happy for you! What absolutely wonderful news! Are you still doing your happy dance, I would be! I'm glad you thought bulldog plan was funny. I was actually being very serious. We have go bags for our dogs and a tub of packed items for our horses in case we have to bug out due to a hurricane. We have 2 evac routes, depending on which way the hurricane is going, with 2 destinations that will accommodate our horses. I take the safety of our selves and our pets seriously. Things can be replaced, but lives cannot. Enough with the serious stuff! You go girl!!😅
Nan - So happy to see you back at the table! I am very sorry to hear about your struggles though. That sounds rough. I a.m. glad your last scan was good, though. Do you like to read? There are some wonderful audio books I listen to when my eyes won't focus well enough to read. That quote is so true! I need to write that one down and put it on the frig!
I completely understand about the wedding, but I know, as sure as I'm sitting here, that your daughter will be thrilled that you are there and see your smiling face when she looks at the pictures in the future!
Keetmom - Your patio is just in time to enjoy the beautiful fall weather! I don't know what I enjoy most about fall...the cooler temps, the beautiful color changes or all of the above equally. So happy for your good results! I hope you and Emma are doing well. So glad to hear you like your classes.
Chicagoan - You are one strong woman!
Mae - Sounds like we are alike in preparedness. Being prepared takes away a lot of the stress of the storm. Sounds like you might luck out with Harvey! Take care of you!
Hugs and prayers everyone
Claudia
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Claudia ~Good Morning lovely to see you here! I hope that you're having a good pain free weekend! I also hope that no otherness hurricane makes anyone have to prepare for anything so scary. I remember sandy, and I wasn't even on the coast, it felt like my house was moving. It was scary! God thing you guys are preppers!!! Hugs
Mae~ haven't seen You in a little or so far today! praying your home is safe and all pets and family also. You are in my thoughts and I'm waiting to see your name here so I know one of my sisters is ok! I'll be checking all day to see if you're ok ! Be safe sweety.
Chicago~ How are you today dear? Hope all is well with everyone in your world. It was such lovely weekend weather my DH has been dragging me out both days. He's good for me though!!! I hope your weekend was a good one!
Keetmom~ haven't seen you in a few days. Everything ok with you guys ? Emma?? Thinking of you !
Nan❤️❤️ So happy to see your lovely name! We have missed you! So happyYour scans were good also. We need all of us to be ok!!
Love you all ~M~
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I'm good. No street flooding in my neighborhood but many areas in town are flooded badly. Starting to wonder how I'm going to get to radiation tomorrow or if they'll even be open but I have a dry home, power and plenty of supplies, so no major complaints here.
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Mae~ your radiation is everyday?! That is a good concern, I can't imagine anything being open considering this awful storm. I guess you'll have to call first thing am! Also the traveling, geeze I'm sorry. Please don't take any risks though. It looks really bad in Houston. I feel so sorry for all those people. My prayers really go out to them. I am so happy you're ok and your home and area isn't too bad. The news shows awful areas. I sit there and wonder oh. She better be ok!! Thanks for checking in. How long is this supposed to last for you. ?? I saw on the news like 2 more days stalled above you?? Yikes. ! Thanks for letting us know you're ok! Our on the site reporter! Hugs ~M~
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Yes radiation is daily and the weather is forecast to be a big issue through Thursday. Now I've been asked to start working on emergency stuff, I'll check in later
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Mae~be safe if you have to go out please. I think you work at home ? I am hoping anyway. Don't want you out in this ! (I sound like a mom lol !) I am so annoyed that people left their dogs. That makes me sick. How heartless can someone be. You be safe and I hope you're not working too many hours because of this. Be safe hugs ~M
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Rainy day here today.. nothing like TX but still a good day to lay low so we got a pizza and some movies and this is our view right now.
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Keetmom~Hi honey! Glad to see you're doing good on this Sunday afternoon. Can I come and watch. ? I'm a sucker for Disney movies. Hugs for you and Emma! How are you feeling ? Hope all is well in your world! Big smiles! ~M~
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Feeling fine.. enjoying a quiet day....
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Micmel, my office is closed tomorrow and radiation is cancelled. I will attempt to go in to work on contracts for the clean up once the water recedes but I'll be super careful and if I can't get there, I'll do what I can from home, unfortunately, I need things in my office to complete the process. No worries though, safety first, always.
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Mae ~ have you ever had to miss rads before ! Does this mean you'll have to make them up? I know nothing about rads sorry ! Hope you're not going to work too many hours. I know safety always first, but please know we are praying for everyone's safety out there! So be careful if you go anywhere! Geeze looks terrible I feel so bad for everyone. We had sandy. But nothing like that flooding, further out from the coast, we did have floods, but nothing like that !
keetmom~ glad you're feeling good today and good to see you relaxing and enjoying the kids!
Another week ahead! Maybe it won't be so hot so I can try to get some walking in. I hate always being indoors. Someone suggested walking in the mall.!lol I'll go broke. Need to stay away from the stores. I used to like to shop. Now I don't really because my feet get tired from neuropathy! But it is getting better! Today DH and I went out to breakfast and then to the awful grocery store. It was mobbed! Yuck! But all loaded up with snacks! Priorities! Lol hugs to all ~M~
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I haven't missed one yet but I don't have radiation on the weekends, so I think missing 1 or 2 won't be too big a deal and yes, they'll add it to the end. I am careful but it's crazy out there. Several bayous are now above the 500 year flood stage!
This is a major highway below!
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Mae~😲😲😲😲😲😲😲 my goodness! I so hope people got out in time. That looks terrible omg, please stay inside! I have honestly never seen anything like that before. I am jaw dropping right now wow! Yeah I wouldn't go anywhere near that. My gosh! Thank god your house and family is safe. So awful. Your still feeling good though right ? You said you weren't having any side effects and I am hoping that is still the case! This weekend I actually did things! Now I'm gonna watch game of thrones ! Be careful! Prayers for all down south!~M~
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Micmel - there are a lot of rescues out there helping and getting the dogs. I could never leave mine no matter what either. I'm donating to several of the rescues.
Diane
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That's great and generous Diane.
Micmel, yes, still feeling good, which is lucky because I need a lot of energy to get into and stay in emergency mode. Roadways and traffic signals need to be repaired quickly, not when I feel up to it. I am a cog in a big wheel here, time to get to work.
I am actually taking my bully boy with me to work, I don't want him to be alone in with this weather and tornado warnings, etc.
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Edwards~it breaks my heart! I am so glad to hear that some wonderful volunteers are on the scene for the dogs. I am such an animal lover. But especially dogs. They know when you feel bad, they react when you cry. Those people should be banned from owning animals in the future. That is just cruel. And welcome Edwards to the thread. So nice to see you here with us! We have a nice supportive group of sisters here that help us through our days. I hope you will join us. Are you from Texas?? If you are i certainly hope you're doing ok and your family is also safe and sound. Hugs! ~M~
Mae~ love you! Please be safe. I'll be checking in for your safe return! Looks terrible out there !
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Mae - Wow! That looks awful. I'm glad you are ok and you are taking your bully dog with you. So far, Katy relatives are safe. I need to call dil about her friend, we have known her and her family for years. Sounds like you and I have the same belief re: these storms. Prepare for the worst, pray for the best. I will never understand the people who abandon their pets. They give us un conditional love. It is our job to keep them safe and secure. Stay safe!
Micmel - I am so glad you are enjoying your weekend!
Keetmom - pizza and a movie are always awesome! We had a rainy day also.
Nan - I want to tell you a story. When I was looking for a dress for Ds wedding, Dil came shopping with me. I finally found a dress I felt pretty in, but I did not want to buy it because my port scars were completely visible and I never wanted to show them. My Dil thought that was completely ridiculous, that those scars were a badge of honor and I should not feel self conscious, but feel proud. I am sure that your daughter feels that way about your baldness!
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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Claudia~ Hi beautiful! I hope you also had a good weekend, it was kinda surreal being able to actually do things with my DH, I constantly feel Like a zombie usually, but hearing that oncologists words just lifted me out of my funk. I am praying that this ibrance will burn out the only spots I have. He told me flat out , "your disease is too small to measure". "The spots you have are so small and non evasive, that you are doing remarkable and your bloodwork has always been beautiful" i almost fell off the examination table in the horrid and ohso flattering pink freaking gown. I looked over at DH and I saw him tear up and his eyes were red. When the doctor left he came over and held me and we had such an endearing moment. It was a sweet romantic weekend. One We haven't had in over a year and a half. I have been so sick recovering from everything. So.....please ladies never give up. Never. Women are amazing creatures. And this group we have here are some special strong ladies, I am proud to know and grow to love you each as good friends. Somedays you're all I have. I post because it helps me. And thank you for being here with me through this torturous journey! Sleep well ladies. Big hugs ! ~M~
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Wonderful to hear Micmel!
Have a good evening all.
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Hi Mae~ good morning ladies! I hope you're safe. Still looks pretty bad down there. I pray you're neighborhood is safe from flooding and problems. That pic you posted was scary. I can't believe the storm has stalled over you! Crazy storm. They were saying no one has seen anything like this before. That says a lot. I just pray not too many people loose their lives in this awful Harvey. Praying for you all that this storm will pull away and disappear for good!
Good morning to everyone and hope This is a great week for everyone! Miss all you guys ❤️💜 ~M~
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Micmel - Good morning! Again, what awesome news! Have you seen how well Gracie is doing now? She finally got her depression reined in. Such great news! Also, animalcrackers was asking about you. Have a great day!
Mae - I know you are working hard, just don't forget to take care of you!
Today is a good day so far! I had an appointment with my Pc on Friday, the knee and hip pain are out of control. They x rayed and I am supposed to get an appointment with ortho, but it seems there is an insurance problem I have to resolve first.aaargh! Oh well. Anyway, I reminded him I have a high tolerance for pain and I had reached my limit. I too had a great scan in July, but suddenly my knee and hip have become intolerable. I am also have more and more pain in my lower left side that cannot be explained. What h???
Not going to dwell on it, just felt like venting my frustration! Hope everyone has a happy Monday!
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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I'm safe and working from home today, doesn't look like I can get to work or anywhere really.
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Whoa, that's bad! Glad you are safe!
Claudia
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Mae~ wow wow!!!! I have never seen anything like that! I hope you have a lot of groceries!! That is really awful, so thankful that you're ok though! Didn't want you out navigating that Terrible flooding. The pictures on television look horrible. Makes me feel so bad for people and pets.
Claudia~ I know what it's like to have pains pop up here and there! I am going to pray that you're just doing too much, you are also always on the move. I told my onc about my extreme exhaustion and he told me to take those ritilan!!! He said it wouldn't hurt me only help. It does help but I hate taking them every day. It's like an engine that keeps running. But I also wanted to share something else he put me on, it's called Effexor! He said it's an anti depressant that is known to help with heat flashes,and help me with my sadness issues. I almost lept off the table and yelled sign me up! I have taken four pills I think, I don't know if it's in my mind, but I have had like four heat flashes, and none of them were nearly as bad as I am used to. He said it would work faster for the flashes than for the depression, that would take perhaps a few weeks to notice. But I wanted to share this information just in case it could help anyone of us !! Those are part of the worst side effects that i have!
I am praying for good scans or news for us all for a very long time ! I have spoken to Gracie I think on Thursday not sure if it was before my onc appointment or after. And where was animal crackers ? That's very sweet ! Hugs
Love you guys! ❤️~M~
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Animal crackers is on bone mets thread.
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Omg~I started my 10month of ibrance on Saturday and I am so tired. I literally slept all day. I fell asleep for hours. I feel so drained and tired. The fatigue could stop a train. I didn't take my ritilan today, I have taken it for the past few days and I just wanted to give my body rest and I guess it needed it ! I just hope I sleep tonight. Hope everyone is doing welll!! Hugs ~M~
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Just checking in, still all good here
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Mae~I was just going to write how are you?? Lol great minds. I saw that it was supposed to get worse again and it was going to wrap around and hit you guys again 😲😰! I hope you are feeling good and your house is still way far from the flooding. I saw some really scary pictures of the highways. I can't even comprehend! My DH and I are donating to the fund. Is there a specific one that you know of ? We feel so sad for the people. They are all in our prayers as well as you Mae! Give bulldog a hug for me. ~M~
Claudia~ hi sweety. Are you getting some rain and storms also? DH says it's a mess in Maryland today! Hope your pain is letting up, I know you said you were having problems. Love you darling !
Keetmom~ hope all is well with you. Hope Emma is enjoying her lovely digs. I forgot to ask you if she is loving that art station. I love coloring. If I was a kid I would have flipped.
Nan~ miss and love you honey. Hope all is well.
Chicago~ hope you're also pain free this week and all is well. I can't believe school is starting again and we will be thrown into fall. I love the cooler temperatures!
Have a good day and all
Be safe. Maybe I won't sleep today for six hours!💤💤💤💤.
Stephen kings movie IT is coming out next weekend. My entire family is all going together to the movies. It will be the first family outing together, since I was diagnosed. I'm so excited!! I read the book years ago and I am so excited to go and see how it is on the screen, I am not a big fan of clowns but I loved the story!
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Micmel, still feeling good and the rain finally let up for a bit on my side of town. Work is closed again today but I'll be doing my part from home. There is no water covering the street, I have power and we had a minor repair to our roof a few weeks ago, which was great timing. I can't recommend any specific organizations but Red Cross is probably the safest to avoid being scammed. And my bulldog gets big hugs and treats, he has gone potty outside in the rain this whole time, I'm so proud.
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Mae - What a great dog! My Westie does not like to get his paws wet! I have to go out with him to get him off the concrete! Also, watch the clock to be sure he gets out lol. I have been seeing horror stories on fb, about people abandoning their horses, chickens and cattle. I just can't understand that. Before Matthew hit here, there were fb and phone calls requesting help with moving there horses. I volunteered as we have a trailer. Farms and ranches happily opened up there doors we when all other areas were full. It was pretty amazing! Having horses and having had cattle, I know all you have to do is pick up the phone or go on fb and someone will come help. That's something you can count on when you own animals. We are a very giving bunch! Stay safe and dry and hug that dog for me!
Micmel - I am glad you are having a good day! Stephen King... I love suspense and psychological thrillers, but I read It and it scared the cr?? Out of me. I haven't read anymore of his books except the Stand. Crazy scary! I do however, love Dean Koontz!
I have bloodwork today and appointment with PN. 2 more days left in cycle and woke up this morning exhausted! Now I have hour drive to
Mayo, then get out just in time for rush hour traffic, which means probably 2 hours home and yoga at six. I don't think I will make that. Darn, its my bc yoga. I just love those women! Oh well...
Hugs and prayers everyone
Claudia
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Mae-Glad you are well and have power so you can help others with that mess in Houston. Unbelievable!
Micmel-I am so happy to hear about your great report from your oncologist and that you have a family outing planned for this weekend! Fantastic!
Claudia-good luck with your appointment today. Hope they can figure out what is causing that odd pain and especially hope it's not related to cancer.
I had a good weekend myself-saw the friend who has been great during throughout these past several months, unlike other "ghosts"
. I tried a different group for a hike this Saturday-I was still the slowest but people made a point of slowing down to walk with me. Had a lot of fun and then saw a group of cousins and aunts, who much to my surprise, have also been very supportive. Today I've been on the phone with my health insurance thanks to a surprise $2,800 bill I received yesterday for a hospital stay last September! Fingers crossed-it may be a mistake and they are going to reprocess it.Hope everyone has a good day!
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Claudia~ you be safe in the traffic! I hate traffic! I didn't hear about horses and cattle being left also. I can't even bear to think of that. I had horses when I was a young girl. I could never imagine leaving even a hamster no less a beautiful horse or dog. I will admit that this entire thing is beyond scary, like you said. Some people obviously should have prepared better!
Mae~ my dogs both of them do not like their paws To get wet either, they pace on the concrete slab back and forth until I go outside with them (Claudia!) to make sure their business is done. I am thrilled your property and home is safe. I keep seeing neck level water places, and with them saying it will wrap around, is this going to effect you this time ? I pray not. And for everyone effected. Red Cross is it. Thanks Mae!
Chicago~I wish we were all able to hike together, then no one would feel left behind, we would be all battered up and walking together! I am happy that you have groups that care enough to not be ghosts as you stated. Boy did that hit home with me. So true! I am inspired by your hiking and am hoping to get out when the weather breaks again !
Edwards~ you never said if you lived in Texas or not. If you do I pray you're safe as well, since we haven't heard from you since last post.
Keetmom~. Sending hugs and hoping family is well. I have heard a 🐜 bug is going around since some schools have already started! Hope no one brings anything home to you! Wash those hands!!
Hugs to all !
I woke up at 736, And then fell asleep at 930 and woke up again at 11:11. When my son came down to inform me of his impending hunger. I have been exhausted also! I also love Dean Koontz. Nice choice. Have read many many of his books. ! Stephen King books I have also read almost all of them. I enjoy thrillers and mysteries, another favorite is David Baldacci! Fabulous!
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Claudia ~ just checking into see how your doctors appointment went. I hope your pain is getting better. Do you have a palliative care doctor ? Mine helps me tremendously! I am praying for you and hope your ok. Hugs my friend. ~M~
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My neighborhood is still dry this morning but I'll be monitoring things today as I could be impacted by the addicks resevoir overflow. I did see the sun for the first time in several days yesterday and this very cool butterfly
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I am praying you will not be effected Mae!! I am so thankful you're ok. This storm has been so awful, there really are no words to say how bad it looks and how sorry we are for all the damage. I am praying the waters recede soon and people can get back to restoring what they can. So sad. I haven't seen many butterflies at all lately. They seem to be in short supply lately. When I was a kid they were everywhere! Now not so much. I wonder why that is ?? Thanks for letting us know you're safe. I was watching the news and hoping you were on the Back end of this. Hugs to you! ~M~
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Mae - ditto what Micmel said. That is a beautiful butterfly! We have 4 monarchs in our bottle brush. They really like those.
Micmel - read bone mets thread, I told what happened yesterday. You will be, never mind. Having a rough week and sometimes the best thing to do is keep quiet.
I hope everyone has a nice, pain free day!
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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Claudia~I want nothing more for you to feel no pain! I take 5mg Percocet everyday just keep at limit my joint and muscle pain, some people don't like narcotics. But small doses do not seem to be a bad thing. I have about 14 pills I take daily, and honestly I have a vapor oil pen that I also use for pain, it relaxes me and I am thankful Pa is now a medicinal state. Marinol works wonders as well. I have a great palliative care doctor who helps me a lot with lidocaine patches and ointment. I haven't needed those in a long time. But they helped tremendously with the pain. I am thinking of you! Love you 💕💕~M~
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I too have a similar story, My husband and I have been together since high school, 38 years. We've been married 34, have 4 children 2 sons 31 and 22 ,and 2 daughters 30 and 27 We also have 3 grandchildren, 1 granddaughter almost 8, and 2 grandsons (brothers) 6 and 4 1/2. I was originally diagnosed at 43, in 2005, stage 1 (found on a routine mammogram). I took the Oncotype DX test on my tumor and it came back that I had only an 8% chance of recurrence in 10 years and chemo would drop it to 5%. Needless to say, I skipped chemo. I had a lumpectomy, sentinal node biopsy (no cancer in the nodes) and 6 weeks of radiation. Since the tumor was estrogen positive and I was premenopausal, I had a complete hysterectomy (everything is gone) to get rid of those estrogen ovaries. I was then put on aramotase inhibitors. I lasted 3 1/2 years on them. I couldn't take the awful side effects anymore. In 2012, I was having back pain. After an x-ray and MRI, they found I had a compression fracture in one of my vertabrae (I've since had 4 kyphoplasties to repair them), and many tumors in my spine and lungs. It's also now in ribs, pelvis, skull, other bones, as well as my liver. 5 years stage 4 and still kicking. My husband has been wonderful throughout it all. I too worry about him (his currently 54, I'm almost 56). I asked him to wait at least a year after I pass before seeing someone, and never remarry. I know it's a lot to ask, but I too get upset thinking of how his future will be, and I don't want someone else taking over my spot. I worry about the kids too even though they are all adults now. Our older daughter has a lot of health issues, and I think she will be with him forever unless she finds someone. Currently she lives at home as well as our younger son. Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have a husband like mine. He's a jack of all trades, and does most of the housework too. He'd be an awesome catch for anyone, and that's the problem I'm having. I also don't think he could be on his own. He could do it no problem, but mentally, I think he needs someone. I told him I'd haunt him if he remarried. I know I'm not being realistic, but that's just the way I feel. He's the love of my life. Thanks for listening!
Lynne
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Lynne~welcome! I know exactly how you feel! I have layed awake crying many nights filled with grief at the thought of leaving this perfect man. He is my person. Just as yours seems to be as well. He cooks he cleans he loves me like no other. He and I have had similar talks about if I were to pass. He says he just couldn't do it all again. That once you find that one,nothing else matters. I'd like to think that would be the case because i know if the roles were reversed I would not even care to date . I know that deep that it would just be who I am. He says he has the kids and that he already does his photography when he hikes and that he likes doing his own thing.i cannot hike like I used to. That sadnesses haunts me. I am nothing like I used to be. It sounds like you have a lovely family and have been blessed with knowing your grandchildren. I pray every day that will Happen for me. No rushing them lol. But it would be a great gift to live that long. You are a warrior and I hope you'll come around and join our little family here on the thread. We support and care very much for each other and it's like a small town pub! Thank you so much for sharing your love story! It warms my heart to know that good real love is really why we fight this cancer so hard! Hugs to you ! ~M~
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Mae~ I just saw that reservoir on television. They showed many houses flooded because of that. I HOPE and PRAY your house is not effected! Geeze I wish this crap would stop! So many people effected. Life is so hard sometimes! Sigh! 😞Hugs ~M~
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So remember when Emma was sick right before vacation...yah she got sick again yesterday and we ended up at the local ER (we knew last time it wasn't brain tumor related so we didn't drive 2 hours) any way..she has a 5mm kidney stone and several other small ones in her kidney..so we are trying to flush them out...yah nothing is ever easy in our house.....she is feeling better now..was miserable yesterday..luckily it is into her bladder...school starts Tuesday...ready to get back into swing of things...tonight I want to sleep stayed at hospital with her last night...so not much sleep for me
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Keetmom~❤️ I was wondering where you were! I have had kidney stones before and for an adult its excruciating! That poor sweet child. I am so sorry that you had to put up with seeing her In pain again. How long was she In the hospital!? Is she ok now ? Has she passed all of them ? I passed out from the pain onto the floor. I am thinking of you guys. So sorry for her she has been through the ringer. Keeping you guys in prayer!
Mae!?? Hoping you're ok haven't seen you all day!
Hugs to all ~M
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No we are straining pee hopefully they pass soon...she is so tough! she just mentioned the pain matter of factly...I often am blown away by her strength..we are home, the only reason she was in the hospital, was because she has adrenal issues...
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Keetmom~ ah yes! The ole straining of the pee trick, so annoying. You can barely go anyway without extreme pain but they want to see what it's made up of. Usually they are calcium formed. She is absolutely an amazing child. But then again you have an amazing family and she has an amazing mother!'😌 I really hope they are small enough to just pass easily for her and for you. I hope this doesn't mess up school time for her. I cantreally believe that the Summer is officially over already! Time goes so fast. I just hope she can put this behind her soon. Hugs to you strong mama! ~M~
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Good news! The overflow from the reservoir will not reach my neighborhood, it turned out to not creep as far north as previously estimated and I'm told if there's no flooding here now, there won't be later. I also finished my part in the emergency contracts, tomorrow I open bids and see the cost. The last bit of good news is that enough rads techs made it in, so I was able to get my treatment back on schedule, although, it's located south and west of my home where so much flooding is, so I had to drive far east first, then south, then west. Oh well, back to my office tomorrow and grateful that I am able to get back to normal when so many others can't.
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Mae - I sure am glad you made it through with no damage! My heart just aches for those who lost everything. I am donating to the Lindel Foundation, where 100% of all donations will go to the victims in your state. He is the owner of My Pillow , and he is covering 100% off the Foundations operating costs so this can happen. He also has donated 60,000 pillows. Probably seems silly to some, but I think it will bring a small measure of comfort to them.
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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That's very cool. And not silly at all, a good bed, pillow, nights sleep makes all the difference
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Good morning Ladies~Mae yay! So happy your neighborhood was spared in all of this horribleness. I can't even imagine how much suffering these people have to endure. Thousands and thousands of people with no place to call home anymore. Their belongings just gone. It makes me sad and mad at the same time.! Mother Nature can be an angry beast sometimes.
Claudia~ I like that idea. Everyone needs a great pillow to rest their head after something like this. I didn't even know his fund was available. We donated to Red Cross but that is a good idea!! Hope you're doing ok. Thinking about you all! Hugs ~M~
Keetmom ~ How is the stone watch? Poor gals! Always sending good thoughts
Hugs ~M~
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I was wondering how you ladies detected your cancer?. I was thinking back, and I had what they thought was a cyst. Two different doctors told me that it was a cyst and my age. Yada yada. It wasn't a cyst. I could have moved on it a year earlier had they said whoa, have that looked at. It was like a breast mouse, I could move it freely and it wasn't connected to anything at all. At first. Yes oh yes at first. Then not so much. Awful! I just wondered. Did you ladies have a lump? How did you know?? Hope all is well ! ~M~
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Mae- glad you are going to be safe..watching in disbelief and feel awful for all the people who have lost everything.
Mic- yup still on stone watch, no sign yet but no more pain..well not that she is telling us. DHs first stone was a grain of sand and brought him to his knees and this is 5mm and she said yah my back hurts a little...cant get over her pain thresh holdMy cancer was a thickness in an area, my DR found it and sent me for a mammogram, we were in the midst of a very ver very bad year...yah we have had a bunch but this one was particularly sucky, stage 4 I was achy and my tumor markers up so my NP sent me for scans even though my oncologist said "There is no way that cancer is back..." I think and my new oncologist that I was always stage 4
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Keetmom~ she is something else your precious Emma! I think kids are pretty tough sometimes. Maybe she gets it from you!
I also was always stage four from the beginning. They just didn't know it until they found a small pencil head sized tumor on my livers surface! I had already had one heavy AC chemo. He pulled me out of the heavy chemo and told me their suspicions! The following week I was in biopsy. I then had a liver resection and left mastectomy,it was rough!! After that onto Abraxane! But during the time of all that. The little suckers, nested in my bones.
Mae~ was anyone in your neighborhood effected by the resevior? Must be a large neighborhood, has the storm at least moved along ? You mentioned cost? You mean the cost of damage for your company and repairs ? My mom lives in Mississippi and they are under Tornado warnings quite a bit today! This Harvey needs to head out! How long have you worked for your company?That sounds pretty cool. Interesting to say the least!
Claudia~ Sending hugs and good thoughts!
Nan~ miss you darling !
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I can't even believe that medicine would cost that much. It's really sad that medicine that is so needed wouldnt be able to be gotten without insurance! Scary world we live in these days! I am starting my 10 th month and I am so fatigued, I don't even Think the word applies and needs a new name! Hope all is well.
Claudia~ thinking about your pain and hoping today was at least better for you!
Happy thoughts ~M~
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Micmel, no one in my neighborhood affected thankfully and we're dry and sunny now. I work for the transportation dept in roadway maintenance, specifically contracting. The cost of cleaning up debris and fixing submerged pavement and traffic signal electronics will not be cheap. Both of my former supervisors have retired in recent years and I'm the only one left who's been through this before (Hurricane Ike was a direct hit), it's a lot of stress to try to be quick, efficient and train others in the process which includes lots of rules at the state and federal levels. So, the emergency work, plus concern about my area flooding on top of cancer has mad enough for a hell of a week.
Still feeling good though
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Mae~That is very good that your neighborhood was not involved. Seems like you chose a safe place to live. I thought that is what you meant about the clean up. I am sure that alone is a full time job, just noting what was damaged. Just make sure you rest for you!
I was wondering how you ladies found your cancer if you don't mind sharing. I have been thinking that a lot of women knew about their lump and was told To watch it closely. I did watch it closely, I did everything they said. I would have done the mammogram, had they notsaid we're not worried because of your age. If it changes we will immediately check this out! Well it did change , and it was doing damage by playing the I'm going to spread game! I just wonder how many cases could have been different if the doctors didn't place such an emphasis on age. Have a good day ladies. Much love and good thoughts ~M~
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Good morning Micmel, I am feeling better today! A little sore and A lot tired, but that's ok. End of Ibrance cycle, hence the tiredness. I hope you have something fun planned for this weekend. We are finally going to take the weekend off! We are going to go riding and spend the day at the beach. I don't know if I told you, Dh is doing all our construction projects. He is working late in the day and all weekend. I finally convinced him to take this weekend off. He works full time then comes home and works here. He needs a break. We are having dinner with friends Sat night, we have made a habit of that. We meet every Sat for dinner! They are so much fun! I hope you have a great weekend!
Mae - You are one busy lady right now! I'm so glad you did not suffer any damage! I hope you have a great weekend!
Keetmom - Has the stone passed yet? I sure hope so! You and your family have had enough trials to last a lifetime. I'm wishing you a great weekend!
Chicagoan - Do you have big weekend plans?
Nan - Thinking of you. Wondering how things are? What about your weekend? Have you found a dress? I wish I could go shopping with you. There is nothing better than shopping for a special dress for yourself or a loved one! Ok, maybe shopping for wedding dresses is more fun! I bought a great peri winkle sheath dress for the rehearsal dinner when my son got married! I know you will find something beautiful!
Hugs and prayers everyone
Claudia
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Good Morning Ladies~ Mae~saw more about that addicks reservoir on television all I can say is wow wow! I keep seeing so many animals being rescued. I am just glad that they are getting the animals out and not leaving them. It seems like All the water in the world is in Texas! Unreal pictures. Can't tell you how glad we are you're ok in all of this. Hope that your entire family is ok in all of this! I wanted to say that I think you're pretty amazing. You still work and have a great attitude!
Claudia~ you have another keeper of a DH! He seems to be just like mine always on the move doing some awesome projects and being our hero! I was thinking about you and hoping your pain was just part of the waxing and waining of this shitty disease. I am always thinking about you guys and our daily challenges we all face one way or another. So much strength here on this thread! Enjoy your time with your friends ! So special that time!
Keetmom~ you're another example of strength, your family also. I hope Emma is pain free, even though she's one tough cookie and has a pain threshold that is mind boggling. She shouldn't be dealing with ll of this at this age. Think of you all often as well!
Chicago~ hope you're feeling good from
Your long hike. Also another amazing woman here. Hope the weekend is good weather,but certainly will not utter one word if it isn't, I'll take rain for a month, if it keeps it away from Texas!
Hugs and good thoughts to all. Always! ~M~
Nan~ gotta tell us about your dress ! Miss you. I surehope you're creating memories!
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Stone has passed...she is doing good..need to add Urology to our list of specialists to avoid this from happening in future again.
Sunday is our 23 year anniversary, going out for dinner tonight and to best buy....nothing to exciting..but should be fun...I'm attempting to wear a wig, it is itchy already....hope I don't rip it off during dinner.0 -
Keetmom-So glad Emma's stone has passed! It's bad enough when adults have to suffer but kids? It just doesn't seem fair. Happy anniversary-hope you have a great time!
Micmel-Are you off to the movies tonight? So glad you are getting out and having fun.
Claudia-Glad you are feeling better. How awesome to get out riding and go to the beach.
Mae-So glad you are able to work and help alleviate the problems in Houston. Good thoughts to all and hope that you get some R&R this weekend.
Nan-Please post a picture of your new dress if you can.
I went to a Jazz Festival last night-so uplifting and today am tackling painting my front porch. I even bought paint to repaint some rooms that badly need it. Being a "cancer patient" I was procrastinating and then thinking, "I better paint it neutral (for the new owners)" But today, I bought the paint that I wanted and think I will be strong enough to paint the rooms, if I pace myself. I bought Hacienda tile and think I will be the one to enjoy it. Cheers everyone-enjoy the weekend!
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Micmel, I forgot to include my cancer story. Here goes....
My maternal aunt was dxd about 5 years ago in her 60's, my mom was dxd about 3 years ago, also in her 60's. I told my PCP when I found out about my mom (this became more significant family history) and he ordered a mammogram just before my 40th birthday. The mammo was normal and my moms genetic testing came back negative, so life went on.
Fast forward 18 months, Saturday 10/29/16, while undressing for bed I feel a lump, it was big, like an egg and I'm sure it wasn't there days before. I cal my PCP Monday morning 10/31, he does an exam that afternoon and orders a mammo. Mammo and ultrasound performed Friday 11/4, afterwards a nurse talks to DH and I and it sounds grim but I'm scheduled for a biopsy on Tuesday 11/8. Biopsy done and on Thursday 11/10 I get the "I'm sorry, it's cancer" call. I leave work immediately, go home and call MD Anderson. I'm seen and scanned at MDA on Wednesday 11/16 where due to a suspicious lesion on my hip bone, I was told I'd be treated as stage IV (bone biopsy later confirmed).
I was completely blown away. Partly, because my genetic testing came back negative too, although I was told that there is very likely a risk associated with a combination of genes yet unknown. The other thing was that I thought, if I reacted quickly, I would catch it early. It never occurred to me that it could be so advanced before any symptoms appeared.
What's got me though this is DH, of course! The fact that I've always felt I was a lucky person, minimal mets (just the left hip bone), having normal pre-cancer energy and my relaxed attitude.
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Mae~ wow! I always thought my lump just changed overnight as well. I also was blown away by the stage four diagnosis, I also had no obvious symptoms. I look back now and I can see some that I associated with other things. I only breathe on one lung, from a totalOther separate condition. So fheee was always something to blame my sickness on. When I really think back, the cancer must have been in my system for years undetected. The day I was diagnosed I ran 6 miles in an hour. I was just always exhausted no matter how much I slept,kinda like now with lady ibrance. I am sorry that that happened to you. I do agree you have an awesome attitude, and clearly another keeper of a husband! Thank goodness. Thanks for sharing your story. At least you weren't told watch and wait! Have a safe Labor Day weekend & hopefully a dry one ! No rain whatsoever! Good thoughts all around!
Chicago~next weekend the movie comes out. I am not sure if we will hit the first weekend or not, I don't want to deal with big crowds, so within a week or two I'm going to venture out with the entire family. Which I am so thrilled that they all want to go. Even my DH who is a big chicken. Lol. Hope you have a good weekend also.
Keetmom ~ yay Emma. She is one tough cookie!! Relax both of you. Wow
Claudia~ have fun riding and be safe. Enjoy your friends. Sending big hugs.
~M~
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Let's all take a moment here to send good thoughts and vibes to Lita57 , she has received the news we all quiver in fear of, and this brave lady has a battle of all battles ahead of her. This disease is so maddening. I am so angry that it keeps hurting good people, who don't deserve any of it. She's so scared, I know prayers is such a funny phrase to say when things like this happen, it makes me think and wonder why someone would allow such suffering. Maybe it's just something people say because we all want to believe that there is an almighty power! Well he needs to get moving and help some of us MBC sisters. Enough bullshit pain and literal suffering. I'm sorry Lita my friend. I wish I was a magician! So sad today. Love all you special ladies so much. There are no words ~M~💔
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So saddened by Lita's update too, such a devastating thing for her, her family and her bulldog (they feel the emotion). It is a frightening reminder that progression can happen to any of us at any time.
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Still trying to wrap my mind around Lita's diagnosis.
Keetmom, congrats on 23 years! So happy Emma passed her stone!
Chicagoan, a Jazzfest in Chicago, wow! My ex and I used to go to Rush Street to listen to Jazz! Like 36 years ago! Gosh that makes me feel ancient. Have a great weekend!
Mae, you are so right, our animals do feel our emotions!!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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I'd like to take a moment to brag on DH. He's just great, smart (self taught), confident and supportive. He always plans little vacations, date nights, etc and is already working on anniversary planning (months away). I just received a link to a rental boat in the keys (I grew up at the beach and love water). Nothing set yet but this is a beautiful, fun and relaxing option. I don't know how I got so lucky!
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Mae~ I am thrilled for you! Looks like such fun. This thread is certainly the place for that! You are a very lucky lady! I hope it works out for your anniversary!! Happy place. Our DHs are. My DHs back went out. He's on the couch. Sometimes they do too much! Enjoy the rest of your evening ! Hugs~M~
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Today I was the care taker. It felt good to do some things for him. He just couldn't move. It hit him this morning after we woke up. He took a muscle relaxer and melted into the couch. I honestly Have never seen him in this much pain. It made me feel happy to finally be able to do something for him for once. He's always doing everything to take care of me. I made him go up to bed early.
It's been an emotional day for a lot of people. I hope you all know how very strong and special I think you all are. I value you being my friend here and helping me on bad days and helping me celebrate the baby steps. Many days reading all of your words have gotten me to smile and pick my head up. I know we have chronic issues we will have no choice but to deal with. But thank you for being here. Sending good vibes and happy thoughts.
With Lita mentioning hospice, it sure does smack you in the face when this person didn't have those symptoms three weeks ago, that isn't very long. Someone said today, it just shows that any one of us can progress at anytime. I really hate that dark cloud hanging over everyone's head. Everyday. These new treatments can't come soon enough as far as I am concerned. Good night ladies. Oh an Mae, I adored your picture and mention of bull dogs butts! Hilarious and kind Sophia would like the shout out! You're right she's probably knowing something is wrong, poor puppy dog. I'm sure Lita is going to love that.Sleep well ladies ~M~
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Micmel, I have been following your thread and I like the vibe here. Love of family, caring for others and a welcoming spirit here. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 37 years. He is my rock, supports me 100% in everything, especially this cancer experience. We have 3 grown sons. Our oldest has Asbergers, middle son out on his own working as a job recruiter, youngest still at home, saving to get an apartment with his girlfriend, he is a preschool teacher. I have a small but VERY supportive extended family. My mother is in the beginning stages of dementia and my brother and I watch over her. I have a large group of wonderful friends but nobody gets what I'm going through except the ladies I have found here. I'm currently on short term disability from my job as a nurse, just cannot physically do it anymore and probably won't be going back. Just had a stable scan this week, I have extensive widespread bone mets. Hope to contribute whatever I can to this thread.
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Micmel, I have been following your thread and I like the vibe here. Love of family, caring for others and a welcoming spirit here. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 37 years. He is my rock, supports me 100% in everything, especially this cancer experience. We have 3 grown sons. Our oldest has Asbergers, middle son out on his own working as a job recruiter, youngest still at home, saving to get an apartment with his girlfriend, he is a preschool teacher. I have a small but VERY supportive extended family. My mother is in the beginning stages of dementia and my brother and I watch over her. I have a large group of wonderful friends but nobody gets what I'm going through except the ladies I have found here. I'm currently on short term disability from my job as a nurse, just cannot physically do it anymore and probably won't be going back. Just had a stable scan this week, I have extensive widespread bone mets. Hope to contribute whatever I can to this thread.
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Good morning all!
Micmel, I hope DH's back is feeling better this morning and that your day is SE free.
Lynnwood, welcome! One of the things I like about this tread is that I can brag on DH without feeling guilty, so many posts about crap husbands in other topics
Congrats on the stable scan!Today will be casual, running errands and going for a walk.
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Lynnwood~welcome to our thread! We like to call it our place to voice anything going on in your life. I can honestly say that I adore everyone of these wonderful, strong, women that are here with me everyday. Each and everyone of them have a place in my heart that is special. The strength of our families and we support each other and want nothing but the best for each other! I feel very lucky to have our little pub! I am so thrilled to have you here! I have seen some strong fantastic ladies show exactly what can be done, while battling this awful disease! Please join us and know family is always so special and the base of who we are. I am so warmed to read your love story. I know raising kids are a challenge! I so look forward to getting to know you! Much love all ~M~ Congrats on your scan Very important !! I am sorry about your mother, that is tough in itself! I am sending you hugs and good vibes! Always! Glad you're here!
Hi Mae ~ morning darling. His back is a little better today. I'll just have to treat him extra special today. It felt so good to take care of him. Yesterday! He's always taking such good care of me! Please do brag. I love hearing my MBC sisters being taken good care of. It's vital for our survival actually. I also noticed a lot of men not supporting their spouses. It makes me sad. Love you guys ! ~M ~ be safe on your errands. I'm sure it's still not so easy getting around. Due to Harvey
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I simply cannot imagine going through this without my husband! He never wavers at the scary ugly uncertainty that cancer has brought into our life. This is not how it was supposed to be for us but here we are and we are doing this together. This is my favorite story of my husband... When I had my bilateral mastectomy in 2008 ( little did we know then that cancer would become metastatic) I was in the hospital. My chest was covered with orange Betadine, drains and staples and was frightening even to me. I told my husband that he might as well see it all now, the good, the bad, and the ugly. He looked at me standing there in the bathroom of my hospital room and said these words...." Do you know what I see when I look at you? I see that your cancer is gone and you are here for me to love and I thank God for that." I always say that these are the most beautiful words ever spoken to me.
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lynnwood~ I am smiling right now! My DH said the same thing to me. He still comes up with reasons to trip me as I walk by him. He giggles at me, while secretly making sure I really Don't fall. It's the playful sweet times like those, that give me strength and make me happy. I am thankful you have your precious DH. At my darkest times he's been the one light bringing meback. I have my kids but there is nothing like that one true love to make us fight like women!!! I can't even imagine someone else in my place. Breaks my heart in twelve pieces !! I hope you all enjoy the holiday with your family!! Much love ~M~
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Welcome Lynnwood! Congratulations on your stable scan! We love to here good news! Your story of what your Dh said to you brought happy tears to my eyes! Thank you for that! He sounds very special! So sorry about your mom, that is so rough to go through. My stepfather in law has Alzheimer's. You know, inn our darkest moments, we need to remember that there are things worse than what we have. A friend of ours had been good friends with a man who is 38, married, with 2 small kids, who just entered hospice with ALS. Breaks my heart!
On a more positive note, my Dh just wants me to be here, no matter what I look like, no matter how tired and sore, just be here. Although, he would hate it if I was suffering. He is finally building the shop that he has been wanting for years! He also decided my barn was no longer functioning for the new me, so he added a small, yet extremely functional barn onto his shop! We call it our shabarn! I'm so excited since it will make caring for our horses, so much easier for me! He doesn't think I figured out this puts me close to him so he can keep an eye on me. He is my heart! We have been together 29years!
Micmel, they just don't understand how much we love to take care of them! Yesterday, I was so tired, but I managed to make one of Dh's favorite dinners. You would have thought I handed him a million dollars, he was so happy! If you have Biofreeze on hand, we find that stuff works great on sore muscles! Also, sitting in anti- gravity lawn chairs. Enjoy your weekend!
Mae - that boat in the Keys looks great! Whatever you come up with will be fun, because you will be together!
Sorry for the novel. Nan - Holding you close to my heart!
Hugs and prayers everyone
Claudia
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some really wonderful. DHs here. Mine just made rice crispy treats for me. They are a weakness of mine. My rear end doesn't think so. But they are really delicious. He also smoked a pork roast and that was heavenly. Just watching a movie. It was misty all day on and off, I think people had their picnics yesterday,but it was rainy then too. But oh well I enjoyed the time with my family ! Hope everyone. Is safe. Keetmom?! Everything ok ? Thinking of you all ~M~
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We just had a wonderful family cookout today. My husband is the family cook and cooks every Sunday for me, our sons, the girlfriends, my mom, brother and sister in law. Cooks all the major holidays too. This will be the first Labor Day holiday that I am not in the workforce. Feels strange but good. Micmel my rear end has seen better days! Seems everything I eat ends up there! Oh well, I don't smoke or drink alcohol ...I stress eat and that's prob not going to change. Hope everyone has a good holiday! I volunteer at a cat rescue so I will be spending my morning there.
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Good afternoon ladies~hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the day off. Feeling pretty good today! We spent time cleaning out the basement. Stuff just seems to accumulate like crazy. And it's not even mine!!! Rained a good part of the weekend but I am not complaining! Gotsome things done! I realize that I am not as strong as I used to be and that bothers me. A lot. I used to be able to run like the wind. Now I have to rest sometimes while doing manual work And housework. It seem to Be a lot more work then before diagnosis! I Hate you cancer! Hate hate! Hugs and much love! ~M~ how is everyone today??
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I'm doing well, sitting up in my bed at MDA getting my Herceptin and Perjeta. Afterwards, I'll stop at the store to get DH's meds and begin dinner prep, I can't decide between steak or shrimp.
Thinking about a short, early evening bike ride but who knows, sure it sounds good now....
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Yesterday with Dh...sitting on our deck. The tree you see is 200yrs old! It Has been struck by lightning and been brushed by a tornado.
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This morning we went for a ride! It was fun but too hot! Here is a pencil drawing of our "shabarn"!
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I'm so glad to hear everyone had a good weekend!
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Beautiful scene with the pool and tree with Spanish moss bigbhome
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I spent my morning with my kitties. I volunteer two times a week at a cat rescue. Problem is that I want to bring them all home!
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I just had visit from the most precious puppy in the world and now I want one!! My heart is melted! Help me. It was great day! Love that tree, and the pool! Makes me want to go swimming!! Claudia, such nice property! Nice plans for a new barn. And a ride?! You go girl! Loving that! I'm jealous. I would love to volunteer with animals!! That sounds like such fun Lynn! Mae~ how is the area cleaning up.? Anymore flooding ? I'm hoping everyone can slowly get their lives back together. I keep seeing commercials! Makes me wonder where all the water can possibly go!!! Here Is the puppy! His sweetheart name Is Cheif!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕0 -
Clean up is coming along and I have two more to do tomorrow. This pic is on my way to work, once I come out from under that RR bridge and turn the corner, I'm there. I had to go another way on Thursday but it had fully drained by Friday.
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wow! I really hope this Irma makes its way out to sea and doesn't bother any coast this time. I am just waking up! I am alway so tired on this medicine. DH left this morning down and back to Work! Yuck. I wish he could just retire. Then I'd have more time to spend with him. He was exhausted from battling his back being thrown out. I keep telling him. He isn't a spring chicken anymore!! I know their are a lot of people on other threads that are having their scans this week I am praying that everyone has good scans and sees improvement!! I had some bad dreams last night. Geeze what am I ten? Seriously who has bad dreams at 47?? Anyhoo. I hope everyone has a good pain free day. I see my palliative care doctor next week. And then no doctor again until the end to middle of November, that's what I should have been dreaming about ! Much love ~M~
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We are starting to prepare for Irma. I don't have time for this. Oh well. I'm sure no one in Texas had time for Harvey. Depending on what happens with Irma, Dh is supposed to go to Houston on the 20th, I was supposed to go with him but I have MRI of hip on the 24th. Can't cancel and he can't reschedule. Oh well...I'm So glad we had one of our big trees removed, it was going to go it was just a matter of when. Every storm that came through had me inn a panic. Now, no worries on that front!
Have a great day everyone!
Claudia
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Claudia~ Not another storm!! I can't believe this is happening. I really hope it hooks away! It could still turn. It has to! I really hope that it just heads out to sea. This seems to be an active year already. I read the store shelves are already bare in Florida!! Oh Claudia. Are you very close to the coast? I'll be constantly checking for you! 😞 Geeze. Be careful not to strain your hip anymore. I'm sending love and thoughts for a big ole miss! For everyone in the us northeast coast! Enough already! Much love friends! ~M~
Keetmom?? Haven't seen you honey. Everything ok. ? How is Emma?
Chicago? How was the hiking ? You ok too ?
Nan~sending hugs and thoughts!
Lynn~ still loving those scan results. May you have many many more!
Mae~ what a difference a week makes! I still can't believe you are still working. I guess you saw up close damage with your job! I hope no other storms bother Texas either this decade or two! Hugs!
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I just heard another update about Irma. Geeze. It looks like the projected models say that Florida is in a lot of their paths. I am really hoping you're home is more inland Claudia! I guess at some point if you live on any coast you face the chance of this happening. I remember Sandy,it came right through and sounded like a freight train. I could feel my walls moving. It was five days with out electricity in October. It was really cold. All of the contents in the fridge were lost, we hadn't to bathe at the Ymca at least once. I was a total mess. Flooding everywhere. I am hoping it looses a heck of a lot of steam on its way, usually when they hit land they weaken. I am really hoping this is the case!
My good friend Dianarose isn't feeling well again and had to gonna back to the cancer center, if I think about it, she's been there almost everyday for a month. She's fighting her heart out and she's had so much AC, she can't take much more. Please give her good thoughts. I am sitting here worrying about her. It's so hard this awful disease! Much love ~M~
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People here are freaking out! It's ridiculous! I can see S Florida freaking, but not up here yet. They show it going up the west coast and then turning into us. Ok, that scenario is scary, but they also show it going through the gulf to Alabama/Mississippi border. Or up the east coast and just brushing us. We won't have a good idea for a few more days, but we are preparing nonetheless, as there is another one right behind it. So much for a peaceful September!. I have all but 5 items done and ready. Still working on those 5. We need a little more info before we decide to bug out or not.
Dianarose has really been through the ringer lately. I am winging special prayers her way. Please let us know what happens with her.
Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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We took Emma to the Urologist today..they were blown away by the fact that she actually passed the kidney stone...her Drs are 2 hours away so I am tired tonight....first day of school tomorrow, they missed it today.
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Keetmom~ so happy that Emma passed the stones! That's a relief. I am sorry she missed the first day though of school, she'll be all ready and stone free Tomorrow! I am glad to hear you're all ok and I hope you get yourself some rest.! Claudia~ make sure you have all the supplies you need. I am glad to hear you're not right on the actual coast. I just hope the thing looses steam. Darn storms. Don't they get that people have illnesses? (Sarcasm Sheldon) for any Big Bang theory fans! I just hope everyone is ok! I am thinking about your pain. Hoping everyone has scans that are more than stable! Love you guys ! ~M~
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Good morning! We had some storms come in last night with some nickel sized hail. I hope the cars aren't dented. Crazy weather. I find it so odd that this summer wasn't even really all that hot here in the northeast. Barely had two weeks of over 90 degrees, but already have had two hurricanes that are destined for the US!! Wtf!? It was already a very rainy summer here and now it's over and here come the hurricanes.
I am debating getting my Hair colored again. I talked to my nurse about it and she said go ahead. Just try to have them use more natural ingredients! I don't know I'm so afraid of anything hurting my chances of staying stable! I don't eat soy, because a lot of it breaks down into estrogen into your body. So I don't even have that! Have any of you ladies colored your hair since? I had the aggressive chemo last year and my hair is big like Don King, when I wake up. No no socket is not needed. I already have that look going on!! I would love to have it straightened. I miss my old Body and hair so very much!! The saying you don't know what youve got until its gone .....poof magic gone ! Is so truthful! Love you guys ! ~M~
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Good morning! I agree with this northeast weather...very rainy summer. I hope this doesn't mean a lot of snow for the winter. Although this will be the first winter in 15 years that I won't have to deal with getting to work in the snow, I worry about my kids and everyone else. I get my hair colored every 6-8 weeks. I've done it for years, my onc never mentioned hair color. It makes me feel good, I'm all gray without it. I say go for it! I've been blessed that I have never lost my hair, have never had IV chemo, only hormonals and now Ibrance.
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Hi Lynn!! Good morning to you! I didn't even think about snow! I agree with you about hoping the snow isn't bad this winter either. I'd be happy with one 6inch storm, just to say we had snow this year. But as I get older and now with this MBC diagnosis, I don't even want to go out in either extreme heat or extreme cold. I don't like it at all. I was never afraid to drive in the snow. But now my kids are older and my DH drive in it, so I also am a worrier about arriving safely. If I am honest, all I pretty much do is worry about everything and everyone! I think I hold an associates in it for sure! I have to say how happy I am, that you were never tortured with loosing your hair. Some women were like oh well and it didn't seem to bother them as much. But I was 💔! My hair was long and straight, now it's curly curly. I don't like it really. But I realize I want it to stay strong. If I am constantly tugging at it and styling it, I do not want to damage it. I don't wash it a ton, I'm afraid to stress it out, like me!! Another rainy day, which ill take. I am worried about Florida!! I really hope that this storm does a major hook away from the US! Hope everyone enjoyed the Labor Day off with their sweet families. I know I did! If it wasn't for my sweet DH. I'd probably be talking to myself in some corner by now in the looney bin! Much love ~M~
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I am going to vent! I have to say, I love my
Kids so very much. I have stayed here for years so they could have their little lives. We had a deal that they would go to college and work parttime and pay some of their own bills while attending school. Every step of step of the way, I have had to beg plead, chase, threaten, just to go to school and get that degree before something happens to me. It's like talking to a wall. I have broken my ass, my DH continues to break his ass, by living far away during the week to work and coming here every weekend and dealing with even more, with my being sick. My daughter is slowly Getting it. But it has taken quite a lot, she's slowly maturing , but I also have stage four cancer. Albeit very stable at this point, but we all know that can always change. It's such a struggle. What I want more than anything is to sell this house and move with my DH into the final house. With the porch that I would very much like to sit on with him,like we have always planned. When do you choose that it's time, how can I know when enough sacrifice is enough.? We have been doing this now for 14 years. We are tired. My DH is 52. He's ready to have calm times with just him and I. Alone. His son is 16. But that is different. His x shares 50-50 of time and pays half of everything. My x is still paying back Child support, and they are 20 and 21. And lives in his mothers basement and he is 48. I am the one constant in their lives. The one who created a great blended family together. I just get so hurt when I don't feel like anyone cares about their future except me and my DH. How can they be so clueless? It makes me so sad sometimes that they can't see, everything that has been done for them. It really baffles me. Hope everyone is ok. I know Claudia you're in my thoughts with this storm. Love you all ~M~
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Hi everyone! I am flat out exhausted. I think everyone in this state has lost their minds! The store shelves were empty yesterday! We live in ne Florida, and people are acting like the apocalypse is happening tomorrow! They are criticizing the governor for making fuel trucks a priority, instead of water, bread and canned goods! The newscasters finally got on the radio and reminded people that they all have running water still! Then gave detailed ideas on how to store it! Its nuts! We are ready, I had let the dog food run a little low, and we never store an excessive amount of grain for the horses in summer, because in this heat and humidity it can turn bad quickly. Now they are taken care of so I can rest! Whew! We will make a final decision on bugging out tonight, but either way we are ready.
Micmel, I get my hair done Every 5-6 weeks! When it grew back after chemo I let it stay natural for awhile, then looked in the mirror one day and said I look older than I am, and I have gotten it done since. My personal opinion is that I want to feel good about how I look, as much as possible. My mo has never mentioned it. Check out my suggestion on bone mets thread and tell me what you think ok?
Keetmom, I am glad all is well with you and your family! I hope the rest of the week goes smoothly.
Mae, if you saw what is happening here, you would either laugh or pull your hair out! We used to live in sw fl on the water, and have never seen people freak out like this! OMG! I hope you are feeling good still!
Lynnwood, We are praying for one, if not two, hard freezes this winter. We have not had one for two winters now, and we need these bugs to die here! Between it being so wet and no freezes, this has been a miserable summer. We are overrun by bugs we don't normally have to deal with. Hopefully you will have a nice winter!
Hi Nan! We know that you are busy with your dd, I hope you are able to enjoy it all!
Hugs and prayers everyone
Claudia
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Micmel-I don't know your situation at all-as few people really know all that goes into each of our decisions -so this is just generic advice. When I got my first diagnosis in 2012- my first thought was oh no! how will the children manage without me? My BS at the time said how old are they? I said 20 in college- she said they will be fine, they are grown. but, I knew that I was very involved in their lives (like our generation has been-so different than my parents who assumed we would figure it out and let us try) and that they were very dependent on me. I started to parent differently in some ways-when asked for advice, "oh- it sounds like you have some good choices" Trying to increase their reliance on themselves in case I wasn't going to be around long.
It is hard to put yourself first when you have kids-but, it is you who will keep you and DH well-kids are hard wired to put themselves first for a long time, that's how they survive. I was in a meeting at work and someone complained that they were getting burned out and someone else said-"it is your responsibility to keep yourself from burnout, not ours". I heard that life lesson loud and clear.
I also color my hair every 4 weeks
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bigbhome, I laughed at everyone here too, plenty of veggies but you couldn't find a frozen pizza to save your life. I guess Harvey really did a number on people cause I thought Floridians were immune to such jitters. That said, this is a cat 5, I hope everyone is smart and stays safe
Still feeling good here, yay!
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Nkb~welcome to our thread! We shoot around so many things here and share whatever is going on. I just have been really thinking about this for a good while now and it just is weighing on me. I agree completely that they rely on me. Absolutely without a doubt. That is really not by choice but just because their real father can't even find his way out of his own city, to put it mildly. It just happened, because I was the one constant in their lives. I want them to succeed and be healthy strong happy adults. That is why the degree was so important to us. Assurance for independence, and security. I agree with what you had said. I have to figure out what is enough for me and what I can and cannot do anymore with my illness. I really find living a life that is filled with as little stress and possible, before diagnosis, new need.I could balance the stress and manage everyone's relationships and make the blended family work. It works well thank god,but they don't hand you a booklet that says on this day they are declared independent! The last thing i would want is for the past 14 years to be for nothing, when I could have saved a hell of a lot of money and been down there years ago. Now I don't even know how long I really even have. It's such a hard topic for me. Thank you so much for sharing! Hope to see you again! Hugs and a 💐 To you! ~M~
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Claudia~Hi darling! Glad you're all ready to hunker down and be safe! Hope you managed to grab the frozen pizzas! I hope your hip has cooperated with you! I am sorry hubby has to go out of town on your MRI date. Timing of things sometimes sucks! Glad the horses have their feed and you feel better about that. I know how much you love them! Please be safe and if you can please check in. I'll be worrying, because I always do! It's the mother in me! I am sending good thoughts you have no damage or problems at all and it hooks away!
Mae~ you snuck in there again. So glad you're feeling good with your radiation. I am so glad that it's moving along and not causing you any discomfort. The clean up pretty much continuing out there? I saw pictures of people's things literally out front of their homes thrown out. That makes me feel sad for them. People work so hard for their homes. It's part of who we are. Mother Nature doesn't fool around. I'm just glad you're ok and done with it !
Much love you guys!
Keetmom~ how was the first day of school ?? Hoping to see some pics of Emma!!😊
Lynn~ looks like there are two more storms in the Atlantic, I remembered you said you were in the northeast as well. Looks like Jose and Katia is brewing are out there! Jose is the one that looks like our contender for us!! I am not on the shore coast or anything but we did have a terrible time with Sandy!! Entire fridge contents spoiled! I am sick of storms. Hope all is well with you! Hugs to all!! ~M~
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Good morning, I know one of our own, dear Lita has a tough day ahead of her. Actually just plain hard time ahead of her. I am sending good vibes and thoughts of understanding to her. I honestly want nothing more than the best for everyone fighting this awfulness. Also, thinking of Florida! Hope everyone is ok. Hugs! ~M~
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Claudia~ idea for Lita? And the candles ? Is that what you meant? I don't follow bone mets anymore. Too large. I seem to get lost in there lol I come here to be able To put my feelings someplace. If someone has the same feelings or needs to vent or say anything at all really. I'll be here. Love you guys ! ~M~
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Micmel, it's a way to share pictures with Lita, of us lighting or candles at the same time. I read everyone's posts and hope all is well. I will be a little better after the storm.
Hugs and prayers everyone
Claudia
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Chicago~you doing ok? Haven't seen you in a little while. Thinking of you too and hope you're doing well!!~M~
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Mae, it is a zoo here! I think part of it is Harvey, but I think the majority is Matthew. That was only 11 mos ago and many are still rebuilding from that. The governor and other emergency management, are telling people that they don't have to leave the state, they just need to go somewhere safer, like a shelter, before it hits. So many are on the roads, they are making traffic a nightmare. They just started giving fuel trucks police escorts so they can get the fuel to gas stations, coast guard stations , military and our ships. While I applaud everyone for taking this seriously, I don't know where this panic is coming from. Usually, Floridians barely pay attention, much less panic! Oh well, my rant is over. I am just working on the small stuff today, like getting potted plants secure, stuff like that. I have wanted to bleach out the water tank in our rv for awhile now, this seems like a good time. There are 2 more hurricanes behind Irma! That's crazy!! I need a break from hurricane news! How is you have left? Are you feeling any fatigue yet? Let us know, ok.
Micmel, Dh and I did that for 7 years! After our trip out west last summer, I asked him to stop. By the end of November, he closed down his business and started another that keeps him home every night. He had wanted to stop for awhile, but I was so concerned with money I asked him not to. Boy, what an idiot I was! I can't speak for your kids and family, but what I will say to you is, hopefully, you have brought your kids up to be strong, independent adults, whether they are or not, is on them(except the 14yr old) at this point. We, as parents, cannot, and should not, stop them from trying and failing or succeeding on their own. Unfortunately, if you think back, most of you best life lessons were learned from your mistakes. As much as we love them and want to protect them, we are doing them a disservice by not setting them free! I will tell you that it is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Every time our son made a mistake or bad judgement, he knew we were here to listen, always, to bail out, never. Unless life threatening of course! Only you and your Dh can make that decision, but darn Micmel, life is short! When faced with tough choices, I have started asking myself 2 things. 1. In the grand scheme of things, does it matter? 2. If I died tomorrow, would it be something that I regretted doing, or not doing?
I think life is to be lived exuberabtly and joyfully! I took a page out of Litas book and weeded a little today! I forgot how much frustration that gets rid of! Plus its finally below 90 degrees here! My son bought me an outdoor bonsai tree, and I'm telling you, I fear for its life! I keep forgetting to water it!
I hope everyone is having a pain free, great day!
Hugs
Claudia
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Hi Micmel-Thanks for checking on me. I've been fine-just had a few busy days with caring for my mom, cleaning and a little volunteer work. I went to my first yoga class since diagnosis last Saturday-it was a class for those recovering from cancer and it was great! The teacher kept me in restorative poses and worked on some of the gross asymmetries that developed when my left side was so full of fluid and tumors. I am going back for a week at the end of the month to be a "student subject" for teachers studying yoga therapy and am looking forward to it.
I am not a parent so take my advice for what its worth. But I think it is time for you and DH to move forward in the ways that would make you two the happiest. You can give your kids fair warning but It would be nice if you and your husband could live together in the house that you want, rather than putting everything on hold. I know you will figure it out.
Mae and BigBhome-Thanks for the updates on the hurricane situations. Sounds so stressful.
Keetmom-Hope Emma had a good start to the school year.
Peace.
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Chicago~So glad all is well with you. I am hoping your mother is doing ok, I know that with my mother I have some issues as well because she lives in Mississippi and doesn't walk too well.she fell and broke her arm in like 3 places and I was going through my heavy chemo. I was not able to travel so I felt really upset. Still do, although we would be the blind leading the blind. I will add your mom to my good thoughts and hopefulness that she will be good. I also have a chance to take some yoga at the hospital. I just haven't done it. I always feel so tired, we have been cleaning the basement, getting rid of so much crap, don't know where it all comes from. Just piles of things. Then you blink and it's back. That has been taking up my energy. But you have peaked my interest! So glad to see you ! Hugs and hugs !
Claudia~ wow. I am really hoping this darn storm does a hook upward and away. I know it doesn't look like it. But everyone is still battling recoveries from Harvey!! I can't imagine everything you're doing to prepare for all of this. Its quite scary. I am glad you're not being evacuated. One of my childhood best friend lives in the keys and has been evacuated! He has to get out and stay out. So scary. All I want is for everyone to be ok! Hope your hip isn't giving you any trouble! I'll be happy to light a candle for dear Lita. I mean who doesn't adore Lita!! She is quite a strong woman! You all are. I hope you'll be able To let us know that you're ok and safely out of the storm. I'll be sending thoughts your way and good vibes. I'll be checking for you!!
Keetmom 💕 Hope all is well!
Nan~Miss you! Hope you're feeling ok! We miss you. 💕
Mae~radiation number ?? You mentioned no side effects, hope that is still the case, you continue to amaze me darling! Hugs!!
I am seeing my palliative care doctor on Monday and havemy meds tweaked and reviewed If need be. I was put on Effexor and it's helped tremendously with my heat flashes. I was told it was an antidepressant, which I am ok with because it's low dose. It's really Helping with both issues. So I recommend palliative care doctors! She's amazing. Much love!! ❤️~M~
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Good morning~Has anyone been put on effexor before? I am just wondering how you did on it? Was there any side effects? How long were or are you on it? What mg? Has anyone been put on anti depressants? I really haven't been on them before and I am wondering how long it might take to feel the real quality that this medicine may bring me!! I need the lessening of heat flashes. Also, the anti depressants would be a good addition to my daily regimen!! Hope everyone had a restful sleep!! Happy Friday to all! Bug 🐜 🐜 off Irma,Jose! Be safe everyone. Much love ~M~
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Micmel, I am on 225mg Effexor, and have been on it for past 5 years. It definitely helps with hot flashes and depression. One thing to consider though, if you want, or need, to come of it, you will need professional help. I wanted to get off and Mo explained risks and definitely doesn't think it's worth it. After reading up on it, and talking to him, we don't either. That doesn't mean you should not take it, that is something to keep in mind. I do well on it.
Irma has just gone to worse case scenario for us. Where she is passing, she will be spinning off lots of tornados in our area. This was our biggest fear, and unless she moves again, that is what will happen. Please keep everyone in your prayers.
On a more positive note, the butterflies and hummingbirds are out everywhere! If I can get some good pictures, I will share! I'm going to put new food out for the hummingbirds. I saw a good size one out this morning. The butterflies are all in the bottle brush bushes, they love those red blooms! We have a couple of hydrangeas blooming also, they like!
Well, back to hurricane prep and waiting for11a.m. update.
Hugs and prayers everyone
Claudia
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Claudia, I am praying for you and for all who are in the path of the fierce storm. Please stay safe. Don't take any unnecessary chances. We have not yet learned how to harness the strength of storms, but I do believe in the power of prayer.
Big hugs from, Lynne
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Claudia~Hello beautiful, I am sending all the strength and good vibes I can muster, I am following the storm also and am in your corner here hoping and hoping it won't bother your or your area. Also, for everyone else as well. You're such a good woman. You don't need any of this crap! Now on to the lesser important issues, I am only on 32.7 mg I believe is the lowest dose. We are looking at it again in a month to see if it's helping. I already see help with heat flashes,almost immediately. I am however concerned with coming off , but then I think, well you will always have cancer, and the worries that come along with it all, so maybe I won't ever want to come off of it. Thank you for your advice and experience with this medicine. It's a new one for me. When I was first diagnosed, I think I googled way too much. Would end up feeling worse than when I started with fear, now I just don't add to the obvious stressors.
Lynne~ hello there! Nice to see your sweet self here! I haven't seen you in a long time now. I haven't been on the other threads. I seem to get lost there. Hope you'll come around and let us see your shining face!! Hope everything is well with you and your family. Big hugs to you !! ~M~
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It has Been such a crazy few weeks, between Harvey attacking Texas, and now this crap with Irma and Florida! Who knows what Jose will do. I wrote a little while back that I was facing a choice with my kids and seeing if I could decide when the best time would be to not say cut the cord, not ever, but when will I know that I have given my all, in doing what I can to raise them.? I don't know why, but sometimes it seems like before you're diagnosed, people were actually nice and involved in my life. Not my DH, because with out him and his love, I don't know where I would be. To an extent my kids, do they really understand still after all this time ? Has it sunk in yet ? His much time can they possibly need, knowing that. I have no idea how much time I have left. I would think that knowing that your closest person in your life has such an illness, that they would spring into action and help. Not so much. I have to literally beg them to do their own things. Their own stuff. I don't have the energy anymore to chase after them to do what they already knows needs to be done. I don't understand why it feels like everyone else seems to be slipping away from me and I am the one who is sick. I never raised them to be clueless selfish kids. Maybe its denial. I know that goes around a lot with cancer. But come on 21 months into this and still denial. What is a reasonable cut off for them? A year? Six months? Ugh! Hope all is safe! I realize I could be just talking to myself. But that is ok! Getting it out is half the battle for me ! ~M~
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Good morning Micmel! I am Mom to 3 young men and get what you are saying. My sons are 34 ( autistic) 28 and 25. Of course my oldest son will always need a lot of direction and supervision. My middle son is on his own, he needed a little push should we say to go out on his own but once he did he's doing fantastic! I think it's sometimes more comfortable to stay home for them. My youngest has a goal to be on his own within a year. He and his girlfriend are actively saving for an apartment. As far as cancer goes, I think that either they just don't get it or they just don't want to deal with it. As much as I've tried to prepare them they are still saying I will be fine. I will say that they are helpful and considerate with whatever I need need
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Lynn~ good morning darling! I like the idea of then being on their own! The reason for keeping two homes, was to make sure they got their education without a mountain of debt. I have to battle everyday to get them to even wash their own clothing. That may be my fault. I just used to do it, I was a stay at home mom for most of their lives. I also sliced every problem possible. Part of it I believe nownwas guilt over my divorcing their father, and he was never involved in their lives much once it was final. I ended up loosing people in my family over it. My father, one sister and a brother. They chose my x. He told pretty good stories and people believed him. I never told my story, just kept to myself, never said a bad word about him. I was always the a bad guy. Now fast forward 14 years and my son is the toughest. He just has no motivation to help here in his own house. If one of his friends asks for a favor. 💥 💥 boom. He's off and running, first inline to lend assistance, if it's our home. Forget it. I have to beg, threaten , or whatever. Since I'm being so honest about it. I sometimes even do the item myself to prevent further problems down the road. I realize to a fault that I have enabled them. I always worried since their father payed no attention to them. I have been over compensating, out of guilt. I plan to make some changes. But adding a diagnosis such a this makes me weak. Both in spirit and physical being. This disease takes so much from us, even changes our closest relationships and we don't even know why. Hugs and much love ~M~. Be safe Lynn. Thanks for checking in. It means a lot.
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ok to burn off this stress I just mowed my lawn. I put on my head phones and pushed that mower. I'm sure I'll be sorry later and I am done for the day. But it still felt good. Haven't mowed my lawn in years!! Have a good Saturday ladies. Hope you're moving alongtoo. Feels real good!! ~M~
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Good morning, Micmel-Good for you for mowing the lawn! It does feel so good to be able to do strenuous chores again. Now you can kick back and read a good book. I would let other peoples' laundry pile up if it won't be too stressful for you
. I'm going back to the yoga for cancer class today.Claudia-Thinking of you today-praying for peace and safety in the midst of the storm.
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Morning all, got up, took a 40 minute walk around the neighborhood, had breakfast and coffee and will start on dishes soon.
In medical news, I only have two more weeks of rads and only minor finger joint stiffness from tamoxifen. Next scans will be in late November, just after the one year post dx mark.
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Morning all...busy first day of school here..will share a first day of school picture...Emma is the bigger one, Delaney is my middle DD she has a genetic disorder called Cornelia de Lange syndrome, she is non verbal...but is the calming force of our house.
Claudia-hope you are safe, it looks scary..we are watching closely as my DH best friend is in Fort Lauderdale and didn't evacuate because of the gas.
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Keetmom- love the picture, the light is beautiful there. First day of school was always so exciting
Micmel- I think that what you are going through is very common-every family has some variation of how to grow up kids. I think for us the old plan of kids leave home at 18 and are on their own and make a go of it etc doesn't work well anymore. A lot of it is the super high cost of living-rent was $50-$100 per month with a Roomate when I left home, now it's thousands of dollars. College costs so much money and if you end up in tremendous debt from it, then your whole life is changed trying to pay off college debt instead of buy a house, or get married or have kids. You will have to let go of some outcomes and standards for them to get independent. I stopped doing my kids laundry when they were 10 and my son announced that he wanted to wear the same shirt everyday. It's true I had to share my washing machine and dryer with them-and they were rough on them-but, whether they had clean clothes or not was their problem now. They made their own lunches from 2nd grade. when the school called and said they didn't bring enough food for lunch- I said talk to them, they make their lunches- the food is available. I did let them get away with some stuff because they went to an extremely academic high school and had hours of homework every night and I wanted to "enable" them to do it. But, I had a friend who did so much for her kids that they were afraid to make a phone call to a business or even go into a 7/11 to pick up a few things on the way home! That story was a lesson to me.
Yours is more complicated by the divorce of course, taking the high road as you did is the right thing. I took walks with friends and asked them how they were dealing with the various growing up issues and we really are in a whole new era without the usual guidelines. Our kids are all different and each need a different roadmap- some need a lot of help, others less and we need to navigate this. I do know that me yelling, begging or whining didn't do much. I don't know the age of your kids or what they are capable of-but helping them to independence is a good thing usually. When my daughter was in college she said their were parents who came every weekend, cleaned their kids apartments, washed their clothes, cooked a lot of food for them-she was appalled !
It's hard to get a little selfish when you are a mom, but, you seem to be building up a lot of resentment which is not good for you. Do what you and your husband want to do, support your decisions, use your active voice, give them a little notice of your plans and move ahead. I wouldn't use cancer as your reason, I would use this is what dad and I are going to do now. Good Luck- it's hard!
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Nkb~I thought as they got older,it would get easier. Sometimes I think it's harder. Certainly more costly, but then again what isn't more expensive, then when I was growing up. Even rent is crazy. I want nothing more than to have them get their education. So I know that when something happens to me, they will be able to be ok with their families. No debts. Paid education. I am leaning towards a goal to where they will be saving money and preparing to eventually move. Go to college and it gets a little more flexible. I don't do their laundry. Haven't for a while. Lol at the same shirt. Know it well. Thank you for the thoughts. It does help.
Keetmom~ look at the lovely school girls! Looks like they went on a preparation shopping spree for school supplies! I am so happy they are doing well. Beautiful children, beautiful family. Hope mom is also holding her own. Busy as she is! Amazes me.
Mae~ almost done the radiation. Wow! Time flys. Sounds like you've had a busy morning already. I wonder how Many steps you have already logged in! Is the clean up complete?
Chicago ~ you have inspired me to contact the hospital to check to see if they have a program. I think they do. I hope I can get into one. Although I might fall over. I did mow the lawn. The slope was a challenge for sure. But I did it. I am thrilled that the weather is changing to cooler. I am going to try to start my walking again. I had forgotten how much I miss music.
How is your mom doing ? I hope all is well. Hugs to you.
Claudia~ thinking about you. Hoping the storm continues to change direction and strength! We are sending good thoughts and much love to you and your DH and horses. I will be checking for you. Hope you don't loose your power.... thinking of you !
Nan~ love you darling. Miss your shining face here! Think of you often!
Lynn~ hope you're having a good Saturday. I was thinking they should give us moms a handbook when their kids are born. Saying If this happens... do this... or if that happens..... do that!! Hugs!
Much love! 💕 ~M~
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Micmel, everything is done, just need to run some errands, I'm at 7,407 steps so far and I'll easily make my goal of 8,000 today.
Jumping in to the discussion here and while I'm not a parent, I am a kid (in my head I'm still 21). My parents grew up with rules and chores, so we had none. My older brother took full advantage of being momma's boy and lived w/my parents his entire 48 years so far, except for about 3 years when he dated his ex wife (dumbest person I've ever met!) and when they and their two sons lived with me. I on the other hand Iwas out at 18, back briefly after being laid off, then gone for good. I think it's more personality than how you raise the kids, some people just don't enjoy doing things for themselves. One the surface though, I might be seen as a brat. I raised myself and hope my parents saved money for a home when the time comes because they are on their own.
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Mae~ I knew you would be already close to that step goal. I enjoyed my lawn mowing, even though I am a little sore at the moment. I'll give you an example. Little but, huge in my book. I just recently tooK some of my inheritance to recarpet the entire house, a huge project and extremely expensive, during my heaviest chemo time period. The rule was no shoes on the carpet. So my DH installed a shoe rack In The garage for everyone to put their shoes on. It's not a long walk to the rack. You would think it was located in Montana. I just can't get my son to put the shoes there. You hit the nail on the head, he doesn't like to do things on his own. I AM truly terrified that he will become like his real father, whom at age 48 is still living in his mothers basement, has no ability to substain any relationship whatsoever. That is why I am trying to break him now. My DD is working full time and has her own started up catering business. She works at on the side. Although, I call her my princess without a country, she is at least a little more motivated. For someone who isn't a parent. You sure did hit some very truthful facts! So glad the clean up is over for you guys. Now let's hope Claudia is doing ok. I'm a worry wart!! Much love and thanks ~M~ I'm sure by the end of the day your steps will be close to 10k Go Mae~
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Micmel - We are in the hurry up and wait stage now. We're ready though. Dh and I were both brought up strictly, so we brought our ds up fairly strict. He had chores and if they weren't done, there were consequences. Education was very important to us. He went to private schools, and college wasn't a choice, it was mandatory. I'll never forget when he got his first paycheck and wanted to know who the he'll was fica and where did they get off taking his hard earned money! We laughed so hard! He was expected to maintain good grades, do his chores and obey his curfew...infractions brought on consequences. It sounds harsh, but we had many fun times together as a family and when he went off to college, I was lost. He and I spent most Saturdays together running errands and cleaning house, with the stereo cranked up, singing and dancing! I miss those days! When he came home from college for Thanksgiving and begged us to come home, it broke my heart to say no. We did tell him, if he still wanted to at the end of the year, he could. By then, he was enjoying his independence! He was astonished by how many students did not know how to do their laundry or cook. He thanked me for teaching him.
I agree with Bob. Give them a time frame, and then go do what's best for you and dh.
Mae, you rock!
Keetmom, precious girls! Glad all is well!
Chicagoan, I love my bc yoga class! Ask them about yoga nidra. It helps relax your mind and body!
Lynne, glad you are doing well. There has been lots of good news this week!
Nan, Thinking of you always!
Hugs and prayers everyone
Claudia
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Claudia~so glad to see you here. I know that the storm is starting to heat up and make land soon. I've been following the news and hoping that it just fizzles out, since been over so much land already. Geeze go away.
I wasn't very strict with my kids I'll admit it. But I didn't allow them to disrespect people or anyone. I've taught them to work hard. They have held jobs since they have been 16 and never have been without one. They worked at their first jobs for four years straight, did really well. I know they know what to do. I think it goes back to what Mae said. They don't want o do things for themselves. It's just easier. They have chores. It's like a big deal to get them to do it on the day they know it's supposed to be done. In their minds. Oh. It's going to get done! No big deal... I'm negative! Since my diagnosis my kids have told me I am negative, I try to explain to them , that I have become more honest with my feelings, not negativeness. I'm just not taking any shit!! I am done powdering asses! It's time to grow up little birds!!!
The other thing that takes up a lot of time and energy is the dogs. I am the one who always is with them taking care of them, my biggest dog is 95 lbs....the little one, is 65 lbs. keeping them in line is becoming a lot of work. He's a hound dog and he wants to hunt, he needs a job. I'm going to be checking on you and I am sending good vibes and thoughts always. Much love ~M~
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Good morning! I can't believe that it Is 48 here waking up. We had a cool summer this year. I actually was chilly, who am I?? I am always hot from these heat flashes. Effexor has helped. I am concerned about the weaning off portion though. I don't like withdrawal issues of any kind. The relief of twenty heat flashes a day seems to make it worth it for me. I know Claudia takes and It really helps her.....I Am sending good vibes to you all in Florida. My best friends home and business Is on the keys. He is freaking out. I fear for all of his possessions and his lively hood. Damn storm.
I am going to venture Into the basement. To continue our cleaning feat!! I feel like since diagnosis I have been feeling like I am nesting, keeping important things and anything that isn't goes. Ba. Bye!! The rule is. You want it for your kids, then box it up , if you haven't used it in a complete year. You're not going to use it. All the seasons have passed. My daughter has more clothing than a Marshalls!! I just have this fear of something happening to me and my sweet DH, would have to be alone sorting through everything we have in this house. I could not bear for that to happen. Dealing with the loss would be enough way enough. Closets are done, all my things are sorted, And the basement is the last thing to tackle. And ugh! So much shit accumulated and I don't know where it even came from. My son has a car parts factory down there and I'm sick of shit just lying around. I wake up this morning and there low and behold, my sons shoes are NOT on the freaking shoe rack. I gotta say. AHHHHHHHHH GET A FREAKING CLUE!! maybe I should hide them!! Or send him directions through google map to the shoe rack in the garage!! 😡
Claudia ~ much love and thoughts for safely riding this thing out. Hugs my friend.
Have a good Sunday everyone.
Chicago
Mae
Lynn
Keetmom
Nan
Nkb
Much love to all!
~M~
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I'm doing well, I'm fueled up with coffee and breakfast and ready for the day. Today I need to get an oil change, do some light housekeeping and prepare for Sunday night dinner and TV with friends. I have two couples come over every Sunday, tonight I'm making crunchy onion chicken with mashed potatoes and corn and we just finished Game of Thrones, now on to American Horror Story, then the Walking Dead. We've been doing the Sunday night thing for many years (it all started with the show 24) and it keeps me normal and feeds my friends who either don't cook or are too broke to make good meals.
Hope all is well with you ladies and hoping for the best for everyone in Irma's path.
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Oh ladies how I have needed to read all your stories and tales of love and life. I've been feeling washed up on the shore since hearing of progression a few weeks ago. I seemed to cope with my first mets DX but this felt like a massive slap in the face and that rug being wrenched away from once my steady feet. Now reading through this thread I feel the warmth and reality of life and I must say though life is hard you have shown me it's good to be real and honest. I have a wonderful DH, who though is an engineer and always wanting to fix things, is learning to be softer and to cope with our situation. My two lovely sons have just gone off to college. My 20 year old is a returning junior at UDUB Seattle my 18 year old is a freashman in Boston. Empty nesters at last! I'm really enjoying their new life and adventures, so proud to have such independent yet home loving boys. But, how it breaks my heart to think of not being here for them and their Dad. We text all the time either individually or in our family group so our empty nest doesn't feel too quiet. So DH and I are throwing ourselves into a pool refurb and landscaping project and I am trying not to get obsessed with feeling I'm not going to be here to see it finish let alone to enjoy the results. Though tears have come from reading your stories I wanted to let you know it's given me stength to face ano day.
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Scwilly~ Hi darling! Welcome to our thread! We have such affection and strength that we share here for each other. We like to call it our little pub. I hope you'll become a part of it and share whatever family thoughts or feeling or issues you may have. I am so sorry to hear of your progression. I am going to add you to my good vibes and thoughts of strength. It is such a hard thing to deal with. Inside it just tears me up that so many good women suffer with this crap. I hope you know that love you and your DH have Is so special and kind. My DH Is also the gruff mister mcgruff. He has also softened and has become more tolerant and kind. I don't think I could live without his love and strength. I am truly in awe of him even after 14 years. The love of my life. My kids are driving me to drink currently! Arggggg. Empty nest kinda sounds good for me right now! Welcome to our thread. I hope you'll become a part of our little family and let us help you through some days. Like they have for me. Big hugs to you darling. I love the fact that you have also found your person! It makes the world go around. Love does. It's the reason we fight this crappie disease. Oh and you will be around for a long time honey. It's like whack a mole. You keep whacking !! Lean on us!
Mae~. Omg. I am now watching Game of Thrones!! I am on season five episode four. I am hooked beyond hooked. When I started people used to tell me, "don't like any character". Ugh! They were correct. But my favorite Jon Snow. Awesome character. Rugged and very good actor. I can't get enough. The sexscenes are certainly flowing. I have to say I have to gasp at how skinny these women are. This being said from someone who has one boob and feels like the holiday ham lately! I have also watched every season of American Horror!! Love them very much also. I think your Sunday friends visits are so healthy!! I try to see my bgf every month. I find it therapeutic to just have that girlfriend laughter from way before I ever even uttered the word cancer. Have a blast. Sounds like a great meal too. What time should I arrive.?? 😍
Claudia. Thinking of you and love you lots. Be safe my friend. Sending thoughts and good vibes your way.
Much love to all ~M~
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Thank you for your heartfelt welcome M, and being English I love a good Pub!
DH and I have just last weekend finished Game of Thrones. We only started this summer, binge watching 1-3 episodes a week, and boy do we miss it. Enjoy - it's a fabulous series with such great storylines, script and talent from those actors. It's a little bit 'flighty' and full of nudes but so worth watching in my opinion. We are now on the lookout for a new series just watched episode 1 of Westworld and I'm not convinced it's for me yet.
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I am totally enjoying the series. I don't want to watch too many though, then it would be over !!! Have you ever heard of shameless? It's a showtime original. Fabulous show. It's about a family whose parents are in no way parents and they go through so much problems and crazy stuff. It's a great show. I was hooked also and binged watched that before Game of thrones!! Also, breaking bad!! Great series as well. The only thing that for me with that one, was the main character had lung cancer In the show! But the way the show highlighted the reason behind what He does is jaw dropping. Once again scwilly, welcome to my little slice of home. Anything can be said. Any feeling is important. I wanted this thread to be supportive, a real life. Other than always discussingside effects or cancer cancer cancer. We know it messes with us, but we can build strong friendships and community here. While we actually live life here too. The good part of life. Big hugs! ~M~
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Good afternoon everyone! Welcome scwilly! Pull up a chair. MBC is like a crazy roller coaster ride! But it's doable! Congrats on your boys, you must be so proud! Your projects sound like fun, and of course you will see them finished! So far this year, we have put in a swimming pool and deck. We have started construction on a shop/ barn. Nobody is going to stop me from seeing them completed! We also are adding a roof over our back deck and screening it all in! Dh is doing all work in between his jobs, so it's taking awhile, but I will see it done! Also, try the last ship, we are hooked!
Micmel, I would hide them, then when you finally give them back, tell him next time they go in the trash. That will teach him. You will only have to do it once, oh and you do not replace them. That is on him. I think we might need a bigger table in our pub! Ain't it grand!
Mae - Your dinner sounds great! I would like to be there also, unfortunately, our raft doesn't have a motor, so it would take me a week to there! Enjoy!
We are still waiting for that stupid hurricane to show up. Once we lose power, we will lose WiFi too. Don't worry, we will be fine. Sending lots of love, hugs and prayers to everyone!
Claudia
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I love Shameless! I also recommend Preacher on AMC. Dinner is served at 7 pm
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I'll be there! Lol it might take me a week. But I'll do it. Lol. Enjoy your dinner. Claudia. Be safe. Love you guys a ton. Shameless is awesome as well !! We like the same shows it seems. I brought out some brand new stools. As many as needed !! Hugs to everyone happy Sunday. My thoughts are with the storm and hoping it just goes away!! Much love ~M~
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That is how I felt in my basement. Holy Hannah. None of the crap is mine. I listened to music, I have been too sad since diagnosis. I figure I'm taking these three months and making good use of them. It's like a ticket for three months to actually live My life. Since I don't have to report to the hospital or oncologist until mid November! No blood work, nothing I have to say I am thrilled about that. That alone is a gift. But of course he will want a scan then. Yuck! But I feel great. No pain. None at all. Today I even danced a little with DD in the basement. It was fun, we laughed and sang. I was lifting boxes and moving things. I am achey but that's about it, I know that my stamina has gone down but IHaven't felt like that In a long time. Cancer. We aren't going down without a big ole fight!! Hugs and much love ~M~0 -
We have had tv on watching the hurricane all weekend...SO worried about the Keys, we visited this past Jan and really enjoyed it. Now watching the Packer game...
Scan on Wed and results on Thursday, feeling pretty good, but still a bit concerned,
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Keetmom~ hi darling! I enjoy football also! But my team always stresses me out lol they never really win anything at all. But I try to be a loyal fan. I do like the packers as well. Always have. My mother has hammered that into me. Now to the important topic. Your scan. Imagine all of us standing next to you when you're going into the scan. Imagine us all making faces at you and sending all the strength possible, and good thoughts and vibes I can send!!! I understand completely how you're feeling and I'm sorry sweetheart , I'm sorry that any of us go through this. I have learned from my body , that if I feel good, my bloodwork and scan usually show that same pattern. I am hoping to hope that we all have good scans! I'll be thinking of you! As always. Hug Emma and Dapheny! For me please ! Hugs to you too! Enjoy the game! First week of school in the books already.
Scwilly~ I am sending you thoughts as well, I know you had some progression, but let's focus on the next line to knock it back and keep you stable again. That's my honest wish for you! Sending you hugs and I'll be adding you to my good thoughts list! Again... welcome.
Much love all.
Claudia. Thinking of you all and the storm. Waiting till it's over with you. Hugs friend.
Mae~ never heard of preacher! Duly noted! I have a feeling I will like it,since we have so far liked everything the same. Most people though if they have seen it, they like it. Game of thrones that is!! Awesome ! Jon Snow! Who was your favorite Mae? Anyone. Khalisee is beautiful!! Love her too! And Tyrian! Such a great actor. Gonna watch another real soon. Hooked ! Hugs Mae enjoy your time with your friends!
~M~
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Rootin' for you keetmom, scans are tough, even when you feel confident
Micmel, Preacher is in its 2nd season but hopefully you can find season one online or on cable, it's totally worth it. My GoT fav's are Tyrian, Daenerys and Aria. Also, glad to hear you've been feeling so good lately, I hate seeing so many of us in pain.
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This candle is for Lita. I am hoping you get relief from your pain and I hope you feel everyone's love from here! Thinking of you! ~M~ I am also posting it for Claudia just in case she doesn't have internet. She was way on board tonight with the candle lighting before this storm! Much love to all! Hugs ~M~0 -
Mae~I am going to look into it. I'll take your word and figure out where to find it. I didn't even want to try to butcher khalisees other name. Lol. The pronunciation gets me with a lot of those names. Like cerasi. She's the devil. But also an excellent actress and yes aurya. (Spelling geeze) i am also fond of Jamie Lanister and Sansa! I'm going to watch another episode right now. Have a great time tonight, you have lucky friends. Hugs and much love to all. ~M~ Oh and then there is little finger !! Oh I could go on and on. Sam..... Briean? The huge woman who can sword fight like a man!! Someone stop me. Lol.
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Geeze~ that storm looks like it really battered Florida, I am sending out vibes and good thoughts to our sister Claudia in hopes it wasn't as bad as they had said, like in the islands. That looks like total devastation! So scary for those people. I am also hoping my childhood best friends home and business was spared!
Here is hoping for good scan results, I know Keetmom has a scan on Wednesday, I am with you! In spirit and thoughts. And to nother week of trying to be pain free! Good results vibes going out to anyone who may need Them. Looks like some rain will be on tap, I'll take it, as long and it gets away from Florida and Texas! Enough!
I stayed up until midnight watching Game of thrones. Ugh! Now I am very tired! I have a palliative care doctors appointment today and then no appointments until mid November. I may need a nap after my venture out and to the pharmacy with my mountain of prescriptions that I will need filled, I often wonder what they must think when they fill all of these medicines for me! I counted that every day I take like 14 pills. I think that is way enough for me! I'm gong to speak to to her today and ask about the Effexor and what I need to know about it , doseages and what is or isn't good!
I hope everyone has a good morning! Thinking of all of you and sending hugs and good vibes! Much love ~M
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That's how I feel at the doctors offices and appointments! All done and back with my many many prescriptions in hand for the next three months. I really think that I feel like cattle waiting to go in the barn for my feed. Everyone packs in the place sees the doctor and then goes on about their lives, it's quite enormous the amount of people going into the cancer center! Much love to all ~M~0 -
Micmell, we are safe. Thank you for including me in your candle light for Lita. Please tell her I'm sorry. We have no power, limited internet access, so if you don't here from me for awhile, that's why. Our clean up is overwhelming at this point, but we will get it done. I found something as scary as mbc. Thank God it doesn't last as long! We have a lot to be thankful for!
Hugs and prayers everyone
Claudia
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Please pray for our state!
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Claudia~ I am so happy to see your name here. Been a quiet posting day. But all worth monitoring just to see you here. Thank goodness. I am sending all of my strength and good thoughts for Florida and each and every person dealing with this aftermath. I am just thankful you and your family are ok! Wrapping with you huge hugs. Much love my friend. One day at a time. I remember how scary Sandy was. Sounded like a freight train the wind did! Thank you so much for letting Us know you're alright. As alright as you can be, dealing with this. Be safe! Much love ~M~
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Claudia - thinking of you in Florida. I do hope your cleanup is not too arduous and you have managed to escape any big damage. My friends in Orlando managed to have only a little damage.
So today I have booked my son to come down next week from Seattle before his college starts the following week. So we will have a few extra days together. I was going to go for a quick trip but I really can't face travel until I have sort out these darn side effects. Today is a happy day!
Hugs to all!
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Good morning Scwilly~how awesome is that, that your DS is coming for a visit. I know how special that time to share is. I hope that you spend your time with him making many memories that you will cherish. There is nothing stronger than a families love and bond, even when they are being stinkers, like mine are now. My DS especially is giving me a run for my money. I am sorry to hear that you're struggling with side effects. This is hard enough, without having that constant reminder of annoying side effects. I hope that you can still do some things with your family. I know after my tough chemo. I didn't want to even go to the porch. I'll be thinking of you and sending good thoughts and happiness for your time together ! Big hugs ~M~
Mae~ was this preacher on a cable channel? Or did you mention AMC? How many seasons are there? I am going to check Hulu! Hope rads are still cooperating.! Thinking of you.
Chicago ~ you doing ok ? Hope the hiking is easier with this cooler weather coming in. I mowed my lawn the other day. The physical activity was very welcomed. Although my body was like. Okay lady. What the hell are you doing ? Hugs to you !
Keetmom~ good scan Wednesday, thinking of you. Hoping for great results my friend!! Hugs to the little ones..
Claudia~ thinking about you and everyone in Florida, we will be waiting for you, hope the cleanup goes smoothly and quickly. Hope your power is back really soon. Hugs my friend.
Nan~ big day Friday. Mama of the bride. So beautiful you are sweetheart, can't wait to hear about it all.
Lynn~ you doing ok also? Hope everything is ok with you and yours! Loving this cooler weather In the north east. Yesterday a little warm. But loved the cool weekend. Want more of those temps!! Hugs to you !
Didn't sleep too great last night. Dogs had to go out. Ugh! That is like a full time job in itself. Up and down. Walk. Click click of their nails on the floor. Drink water. Walk around some more, thump down on the floor when they. lay down. Jingle of collar,Whining for food at 7:00. I really would love it to sleep until 900 with these dogs. lol boy do I live in a dream world!! Much love to you all. 💕 ~M~
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Good morning to all! Hanging in there, busy week this week! Dentist appointment, XGEVA shot, 2 physical therapy appointments and appointment this morning to get new mastectomy bras and an new prosthesis. On Monday and Thursday I volunteer at a cat rescue so trying to squeeze it all in. Loving this cooler weather in Pennsylvania! Hope you all have a great day! I read everyday even if I don't post much.
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Claudia, I have been praying for everyone in Florida. I cannot imagine how difficult it is for people who have seen so much of there lives upended and their homes destroyed. Rebuilding will take time. Feeling completely safe again will likely take even longer. I am glad you are safe. That, of course, is the most important thing that everyone needs to remember. Lives cannot be replaced.
Micmel, i don't post here often, but I read your posts about your frustration with your children. Alas, that journey into adulthood can be so challenging to the parents! My children are all grown now. I do remember moments that might give you some hope that you are appreciated and are doing the right thing. When we dropped my oldest son at college, his new roommate's mother said she was taking her son downstairs to show him how to use the washer and dryer. My son gave me a shocked expression and later said he was glad I had prepared him for college and at least he knew how to wash his own clothes. I laughed, remembering how he had grumbled about doing his own laundry. When son number 2 came home from Christmas break during his freshman year, he thanked me for having rules and setting boundaries when he was growing up even though he didn't like them at the time. He said that his good foundation served him well as he saw others step over the line and get involved in things that were risky or just plain dumb. It was like a mother's best dream - my teenaged son thanked me for being that mean mom he had complained about for years! Don't get me wrong. My sons were not perfect, they were just normal adolescents, but it was good to know that my DH and I did some things right. So take heart. Things will click with your kids eventually. As I said, mine are all adults now and they are off on their own, but they step in to help when we need it.
Scwilly, Enjoy your time with your son.
Lynwood, I have a dentist appt this week, too. I love the way my teeth feel right after they have been cleaned. Is it weird to enjoy my time with my dental hygienist? She is great!
Nothing exciting planned for this week, I will do some babysitting for two of my granddaughters, ages 1 1/2 and 3, plan to do some sewing if my back can take it, and want to start cutting back some of the plants in my gardens.Fall has arrived.
I hope everyone has a good day.
Hugs, Lynne
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Lynn~ I agree with the weather. Loving that so much. Just woke up from a long long nap. As awake too late the past few nights. Now it's shower time. Ugh! I love that you volunteer with the animals, that's pretty darn awesome. I feel like dealing with my dogs every day, all day makes me exhausted in itself. How many days a week do you volunteer? I worry about all those precious animals, in Texas and in Florida. So sad for everyone, but the animals can't speak up or ask for food and water. They are helpless in all of this. When Harvey hit Texas, I saw photos of cattle just lying in the streets, many horses did not seem to make it. Makes me angry and sad. But who can you blame.? Just like our cancers? Who do you blame ??
Glad to see you and that all is well.!!
Lynne~ so nice to see you here again, I hope you will come join us, whenever you may want.... I enjoy the closeness we have built here. My kids. Ahhh yes. That challenging age they seem to be in. It's really frustrating, I'm waiting so patiently for the light bulb to go off. I keep trying and trying to teach them, I keep trying and trying to explain what the bigger picture looks like. Ever since my diagnosis, he's pulled back somewhat. I don't know if it's denial. But I adore him, it makes my heart hurt. But I can't solve everything that comes along even though I may want too. Thank you for sharing. It does help to know, that there will come a time when it will click. I just need it to be like now! My cancer has moved things along. At a faster pace then we ever imagined. It's like running a race. For independence!! Big hugs. To you. Hope to see you back here again! Big hugs ~M~
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oh and Lynne~ I am thrilled you spend time with your grandchildren, family is the reason I started this thread. The love of our families!! Please come back and tell us stories about them. I am hopeful I may get to see my grandchildren. !! That has become a bucket list item. Even though my kids don't know that. I would never pressure Them for that ever! I am happy that you'll be spending time with them, how exciting !! Hugs to them and you!! ~M~
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Another day of busy, brought up 13 bags of trash from the basement and took it to the curb for trash night. Egads. So much crap accumulated, I don't Iike feeling like I can only do so much in a one day time period before I am just too damn exhausted to move. Not pain per say. Just fatigue. I just realized I haven't eaten anything all day. I have been so busy today. A grocery store run, $143 later I don't even remember what I even got. Everything is so expensive, even grapes. Like wow $6.00 For a half decent amount of them. Shower day also. I am going to bed very early tonight.
Mae~ you ok darling !?
Chicago ~ you ok too?
Hugs and much love everyone !
Keetmom~with you tomorrow! Good thoughts and vibes for you!
Claudia~ thinking of you of course.!
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I had to post this for a good laugh. Lol kids are priceless. Lol. Loving this. lol I have always thought that when I was younger. The look on my kids face when they realized where they camefrom lol I did have two c sections. But still the holiday Hamm! Lol have a goodnight evening everyone! ~M~0 -
Hi all! Waving from Florida. Thankfully no extreme damage. All structures survived. Extremely grateful. Some of our friends did not fare as well. There homes are still flooded. Still no power, but generator is enabling us to take showers and keep refrigerator going. We sleep in motorhome cause it has air conditioning! We have much to be thankful for!
Thinking of all of you. Hugs and prayers
Claudia
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OH Claudia~ I am so very happy to hear that you made it through with no damage. That's fantastic!! Happy to know you're ok and all of your structures made It through with out problems. I hope your friends can improve things once all the flooding goes down. Thank goodness you have The camper to sleep in. That Is a blessing. Thank you for letting us know everything is ok with your home. I'm just glad it's over and has moved on! Get some much needed rest. Hope your neighbors are ok! Much love ~M~
My friend from high school has his home and business on the keys. So I'm very worried for him. Looks really bad in the keys for sure. I don't even think many buildings made it through with out damage or total loss. Miserable storm.
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Claudia, so happy to hear that your home is intact. Seeing some of the pictures on TV is unbelievable! SO much destruction! SO much water! It will be a long recovery for our Florida friends. Praying there was no lose of life.
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Claudia-So glad you made it through with no extreme damage. Hope you can exhale now and that the power is restored to everyone.
Micmel-I'm in awe of you taking out 13 bags of trash today. Cleaning out my basement has been on my list but not the top priority. You've inspired me so maybe I'll get at least a little of it done this fall. I had a good day-went to a meeting for my volunteer work and then downtown for an art exhibit. We'll have to talk about Breaking Bad someday. I happened to start watching it after my diagnosis last fall. I could really relate to Walter but wouldn't want to start killing people
. I've started watching Better Call Saul to get a little more of my fix-I"m in season 2 and liking it so far.Hope everyone is doing well.
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Micmel, Preacher is on AMC and just finished its second season last night. Things are calming down in Houston but I'll be extra busy for a few more weeks. I completed #22 of 30 rads and still feel good, only minor skin sensitivity and no fatigue so far. I've been walking daily and exceeded my step goal almost every day throughout rads, as I did during chemo. Either exercise really does fight fatigue or I've been incredibly lucky, it is so important for me mentally to not feel sick physically.
Hope everyone else is well
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illemae- I think exercise really does help the fatigue. and the nausea if you every get that. being outside feels good. always my first choice of treatment when I feel fatigue.
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good morning everyone!
Mae~Good to see you!! Almost to the end of the radiation, that's fabulous! I have AMC and will see if on demand carries that series for me to select. I was up again. (I know right!) until midnight watching Game of Thrones! Boy I do not like Ramsey. Can't wait until he gets his. Poor Sansa. What a way to lose your virginity, to a raving maniac. I. Don't understand why little finger would do that to her ? Other than she was back at winterfeld.. it's good to hear that the Texas clean up is moving along. Everyone knows that poor Florida has just begun theirs. Sending good thoughts to everyone effected. Especially our girl Claudia! I have to agree with you and NKB about the fatigue. I feel way better when I function with movement. Yesterday my final total of trash bags brought up from the basement was 21 bags of trash. I am not even done yet. I can hear the trash men already when they pull up out front. Eeeekkk sorry guys! Lol
Hope you got some sleep Claudia, you have been through quite a bit this past week especially! Hope you get your power back soon. Fully, able to rest comfortably in your own home. Thanks goodness no damage to your buildings. That's incredibly good news.! Hugs to you my friend!
Keetmom~ am with you today for your scan! Good thoughts and vibes. Hugs for the girls and you! 😍
scwilly~ hope your doing ok with the side effects. Hope your feet will get better, hope it's just a flare up from introducing new meds to your system!! I just hope you get a handle on that. Enough crap is enough!
Chicago~ I am going to pay the price I am sure for the 21 bags of trash up from in the basement, 12 stairs down and back up with trash bags. Filled to the top,some where quite heavy. Also,some old blinds and computer items. The trash doesn't take the electronics anymore. I guess that's why in some nice areas we see abandoned fridges and other appliances thrown out wherever, they need to get a central dumping station. That would be helpful. I am still not done in the basment. Wow it was packed. Today i am taking a break for my body. I may nap some. I just know nothing physical is happening for this girl today. I love art exhibits. That sounds relaxing and fun! I can't wait to hear your thoughts on Breaking Bad. I was diagnosed in January of 2016 and I was watching it that summer. I felt the same way about Walter. I was Iike no way. He was quite brilliant. Skylar, she had no idea how much he really Loved his family until later, I was glad when she found out. Great show !! Haven't tried call Saul, but thanks very much for the mention! I am going to mention that as well for a possible binge watch!
Lynn~ sending you a hello and a hug! I was liking the cooler temps. 77 yesterday. Not bad. But prefer. The 60's. Supposed to get some rain. I don't mind the rain. As long as there is no flooding, or hurricanes. I love to sit on the porch and just breath and listen. It's like the heavens cleansing by raining down to clean everything in its path. Why couldn't clean us all from our stupid cancer??
Much love to all hugs my friends. ~M~
Love you too Nan! Missing you
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Lol 😂 😂 that's how I feel from all the basement work I have been doing lol. Sitting down and filling 21 bags makes your rear end hurt. Lol. It's raining and pouring this afternoon and I love it, it means it takes more rain from Florida. And our Claudia. 💕 ☔️ ☔️ ☔️ ☔️ 0 -
Claudia glad you made it through ok, the pictures from the keys are breaking my heart..
Scans are done and now I worry, I looked at the bone scan and wondered if those spots were on the last one...but I know what the CT shows is more important....still really don't want to change treatments again...I guess I have to go on my pain is lower and I am feeling better then in a long time...I even am staying up past 7 these days.... tomorrow we will know, and for now I will take an anxiety pill and try to veg...0 -
Keetmom~ 💕 Hi darling. I am glad to hear its all done. I was thinking of you and sending good thoughts!! I know the waiting is the hardest part. Sometimes I wonder what the oncs think. I usually have to wait maybe close to a week. Then I sit in his room with an ugly gown on. Listening for his rolling cart that holds his computer. It drives me crazy. I Am happy to hear that you are feeling so good. That's half the battle. Honestly, all that you do and have done this summer and all you deal with everyday. I think you're pretty amazing. I still remember the picture of you holding that big ass fish from your family vacation! Oh and let's not forget Emma's bad ass room conversion. Some good things did happen to good people this summer! Well well deserved ! I'll be here waiting to hear your good news. Sending many hugs to you and the girls. ~M~
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Good morning! We got power yesterday around 2, then lost it again around 5. Then got it back around 8pm. Yay! Cleanup is moving along. I took a fall last night. Missed the bottom step coming out of motor home. Feeling especially lucky today as nothing appears to be broken! Just lots of soreness and bruising! Onward and upward!
Hugs and prayers everyone,
Claudia
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Claudia-Thank goodness nothing is broken! Glad your power is back on but try not to overdo today.
Wishing everyone a good day!
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Claudia~ I am so glad to see you here. Thank goodness you weren't hurt. 😲 Please take care of your bruises. They always ask me if I have fallen, one of the first things they say, when I go to the doctors. I hope you'll be ok. Thank goodness nothing is broken!! I am thrilled to hear your power is back. It's too stuffy outside still not to have that!!! So glad to hear slowly things are coming along. I amazed at your strength as well. Just be safe and don't over do it. I did a little too much as well with my basement cleanup. I just woke up, I fed the dogs at 700 and fell asleep again. Been thinking about you all. Hopefully it's smooth sailing from now on!
Chicago~nice to see you. I hope those kitties know how lucky they are! I would love to volunteer like that!! Hope you're doing well big hugs to all!
Much love ~M~
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Micmel-Lynwood volunteers with kitties; I volunteer with people. Either way-I think any type of volunteer work that one enjoys is good because it gets us out of our own funk. Hope you aren't feeling too sore from all your work the other day!
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Chicago~ i was so concerned with seeing all the pets being cared for from the storms. You're absolutely correct. Obviously I have over done it in the basement lol my mind has the days run together. Weeks run together. Anymore I sometimes think that my medicines make my memory toast. If I don't write it down. I'm toast. Where do you volunteer? What do you do for them? I can't imagine having the energy for that!
This morning I found out someone I went to high school suddenly died. So I am not firing on all cylinders. I'm sorry to confuse. They don't know what happened. Usually when they don't give a reason. I have seen in my experience, it's usually an overdose of some sort which breaks my heart. Everyone has their Issues. But it's so sad. She was my age 47. Still pretty young. So that is bothering me a great deal. I guess any mention of death effects me weird these days. Hust a hidden scare. Hope everyone is having agood day. It's a bit rainy here on and off through the night. Now pretty grey. Suitable for my mood. Sorry again. Hugs and much love. ~M~
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Scans are for most part stable, liver and lungs look good... Mets are same size but tbey showed more uptake, could just be technique so we are stay good the coarse, especially because my markers dropped in half, and all else looks good on numbers a day most importantly I feel. Good.... We are gonna look into foundation one testing to have for future... Down to less then an hour here and I can go home... Ready it is like 6 hours here
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Keetmom~So glad to hear your news for stable scans! You did mention you had been feeling good, I am happy that you didn't have to wait too long for those results. I hate the wait. Thrilled that your treatment seems to be working. Keep bringing on the good news ladies ! Much love ~M~
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At first Dr came in and said I had progression in bones but they went and relooked at and it probably was because of less time between the contrast and scan...the whole scan was brighter even stuff that didn't have cancer, I was freaking out for a while but once Dr talked to radiologist I felt better.
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Micmel-Sorry to hear about your classmate. It is so unnerving when a high school friend dies-makes us wonder, will my time be up soon? No big deal about the volunteering-I just didn't want to take credit for Lynwood's work. My volunteer work relates to my profession so it feels good to use my skills in some way without the commitment of a paid job. Some of it is in meetings with other people, the rest is one on one. I find it good to have something besides myself to think about and it reminds me that while have MBC is kind of crappy there are a lot of other challenging situations that people deal with. But I have been careful not to over commit my time volunteering-I don't want it to be a drain.
Keetmom-Glad to hear about your stable scans but I am sure you could have done without that scare.
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For sure because in my mind it is still going is it really stable....But Tumor Markers went by half so it much be doing something...we just will continue on....need to move on to getting in my mind It is stable..
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Keetmom~I khow annoying it is when people, especially doctors don't really review everything closely before they speak. I know exactly what you mean. I am always trying to read these reports and trying to research anything I can read about and trying to understand that lingo. I am a google person, I tend to right away google everything I can. Not a good idea. I am so glad he came back and corrected himself. Still like Chicago said. No one needs anything like that. The wait was hard enough!! Wonder which Way Jose is going to go.?? Up up and away!
Chicago~ it was a shock. No one can find anything out. Other than it just happened. Sometimes things just happen. We all know all about that don't we!?
Hugs to all ~M~
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Mae~you doing ok ? I am thinking of you and hoping all is ok with rads #24? Perhaps. Haven't seen you in a few days. Starting GOT season 6 tonight!! Very entertaining. Loving Sansa. Hope to see you soon! Hugs ~M~
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Mich- I'm not mad at Dr he went over the scan, read the report told me I don't believe this because all signs point toward Taxol working, I am going to talk with another radiologist over lunch (Still what I heard was Progression!!! This is why I bring DH to get my results )and I will come back and talk with you more. So I am not mad, I had to see him so I could start chemo...Everything was brighter on this scan even stuff that doesn't have cancer so something happened. I really like my oncologist, he is always willing to talk to me and listen to me...I am slowly relaxing more...we may do a bone scan after 2 more treatments, we may wait 3 months..we are gonna go on Tumor Markers, other labs and how I feel, The good thing is my organs looked great...and bone mets don't kill people they just hurt...which I have very little pain.
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Keetmom~luckily when he inquired with someone else, stable is what you got to hear. My onc is Japanese and doesn't speak real great. He is smart though. But sometimes I wish he had a better bedside manner. So glad you like yours. It certainly is important. But so far everything he has said to me has been correct and he has brought me very close to remission. Hopefully we all hear that, knowing everything we go through with these treatments. All the side effects. All the worrying. Keeping it in the bone !! I know that song. I sing it everyday!! I know that feeling completely. Hope you get many many more stable scans.
Hugs! ~M~
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Hi all! Interesting to read about the sometimes conflicting results that we hear about our scans. I just got the written report from the ct scan I had a couple of weeks ago. Imagine my surprise when it mentions that my thyroid is symmetrical and without nodules... WTF because I had my thyroid removed in 2010!!! This really pissed me off!! Excuse the language. Now it makes me doubt the stable result. I'm sure it's my scan because it mentions my lung nodule, gallstones and spinal stenosis, all of which I have. My onc will be hearing about this, I want abother read of the scan by someone else.
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Hi ladies! Micmel, my ears were burning, lol.
Keetmom, yay on the stable scans! And lynnwood, how infuriating, I totally understand being angry and I hope you get some answers.
Today was 24/30 rads, tomorrow is the last regular session and next week is boosts to the original tumor sites. Work is still super busy but I have an annual conference in 3 weeks that I always look forward too, so that'll be informative and fun.
I've been trying out some new healthy recipes and walking a lot, once rads are done I'll be able to get back to losing, I have 50 lbs left and I'd like to get there by this time next year. Still feeling great!
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Lynnwood~I can relate to the scan issue. Mine was a little different. At first I was going to have AC and I did have two infusions, I was in the lobby of the infusion center. I was pulled from the lobby and sent up to see onc. I was terrified! Turns out he was stopping the AC chemo, because it had shown up on my liver. A small pencil head size on the outer helmet. Liver was functioning normal it was not even close to any functioning part of my liver. My onc said no surgery you're going on ibrance. I then was scheduled to meet, my obgyn onc surgeon. He was like 😲😲 uh no we are operating on the liver tumor when you're finished with the AC. I'll speak with your onc and arrange it immediately. So I was wondering why my onc didn't speak to the team before he said right off. No surgery. It made me wonder why he wasn't. Being as aggressive as this doctor wants to be. Turned out I finished the other 2 AC s and had a liver resection, it was a really hard surgery. I was NED for three months, and after 9 sessions of Abraxane. But then it was detected in a few surface spots in my bones in a few places. I think the total counted was four. So each doctor thinks differently so why wouldn't they conceptually read reports and scans differently. Scary stuff!! I don't blame you one bit, that you would want a second opinion on the reading of that. I felt the exact same way. Which is why I was glad to meet with the liver doctor surgeon as well. They all finally agreed! Like we all say all the time it's a Roller Coaster. Up and down. Ugh!!
Mae~ there you are !! I am glad the rads aren't giving you side effects. That's a big deal. Walking is very good for you. I am constantly reading about how good it is for you. I am intending on walking more myself. The cooler weather is what I need. I can imagine you will be quite busy with constant clean up, considering what the flooding caused. What kind of conference are you going too? Do you travel for this conference ? DH and I are planning to take a trip, in October. A small cabin in the woods with a nice comfy chair for us both, he's going to hike and take his pictures. I am going to do my reading and coloring!He's really good at it. I am excited to finally get to go someplace. I am so thrilled I don't have to report to any doctors appointment until November, that has been the longest since diagnosis, so I'll take it. I used to have monthly blood work and xgevea shot. But he said not needed anymore. He told me my bones were strong and calcium levels constantly holding. I will take it. Glad to see you. Was hoping all was well. You're certainly a busy woman. We all are in ways. Which I find pretty good!! We do what we can!!
Much love!!~M~
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