My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Wow, Leslie and Daniel and cute child! Now that is an accomplishment! You go Leslie!!!
Claudia
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Daniel~lovely family picture. She is more than a trooper. I hope you have decades more of vacations as a family. She is pretty strong and I love that you're sharing your families love with us. Have a blast and travel safely. Adorable lil one...☺️ ~M~
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Daniel, You, your wife, and your child make a beautiful family. Thank you for sharing with us. Tell your wife Leslie that she is my hero. It would have been easy for her to complain about pain and the heat, and I am sure you would have understood. Instead she chose to enjoy thewonderful vacation with you.. WOOHOO to Leslie. Thank you for posting.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Lovely family picture Daniel! Your Leslie is a strong woman! Looks like a great trip!!0
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Chemo today and they scheduled scans, CT and mri in 2weeks, of course I'm worried about feeling dizzy, even though I'm sick with a cold, and every little twinge.
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Hi gang
Daniel your family is gorgeous and your wife is amazing.
Rumor you by far have the funniest response. You put a picture in my head hilarious.
Definitely turn off water heat a/c. They def can’t eat my food. Use your car Micmel stop enabling them please I beg you. You’re strong as an ox and you have your sweet DH to back you up.
Your daughter mocked you while you’re sick with this life sucking disease. Get past the sadness get mad get resolved and put them in their place- out of your home.
Tanya
Btw congrats on all the good scans.
Feel better keetmom
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Holmes~I wanted you to know how touched I was that you thought of me after everything you and your family has been through this past few weeks. It just shows the support and love that we have together here. I can't thank you enough for all choosing to share this journey or whatever one calls it together. You all hold a special place in mt heart. And I want you to know I think of us all. I did have to laugh at the thought of us all Together, storming his ass and scaring the Be jeezeus out of him. Things like that help me see. I got incredible scan results. I am going to choose to be happy about that and not let a temporary thing set me back when I need to enjoy every single day I can get out of my life. My sweet DH is the focus that I want and need. Thank you all special, funny kind ladies. Much love ~M~
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Mae hello to you my girl.... Tanya. Thanks for caring. Runor~always make me smile and laugh out loud... Grannax~thanks for the support and funny thoughts to make me smile as I pictured them....Bigbhome~ what can I say sweet friend. I love you honey thank you for reaching out as you have....the Lynne's~it must be the name. Sweet caring ladies. 50's I adore you my friend. Keetmom~hi darling. Thanks for also reaching out. It means so much.... Elle~ thanks for becoming a sweet addition to our family here. Lynnwood~thanks for even caring about what happened. I known we all have so much to go through.. Chicagoan~dear friend thank you for your insight, it means everything to have people who understand....Blueshine~I hope all is well. Thanks for always being here with us. Magda~ hoping you're ok...MJH~glad you're procedure went well. Very important. Glad someone brought it up, everyone rain down with good news and happiness please. I need alll the smiles I can get!!~ Divine~ thank you for reaching out to me here and letting me know your thoughts. I need advice!! Gracie~ my sweet. You're such a good friend. Thank you.....Jaycee~so glad you're here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Fresh minds and fresh thoughts always help me calm down. Egads welcome and Thank you for the kind thoughts... Iwrite~hugs to you and thank you beyond words...scwilly~ welcome back to you, haven't seen you in a while... hope You're doing good. I adore you all sisters. Thank you more than I can express. If I missed anyone. I'll be back. Much love ~M~
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MicMel, I am behind again, but I read all posts from the last days. I feel your pain! And this pain is not going to go away soon, but you need to be strong. Yes, get mad 😡, it will give you strength. I can't imagine to live even one day in a situation like this.... I definitely would take action. Turn the electricity off, stop the water and go on vacantion. Move out of the house, it is poison for you to stay. Or , I would sell the house... I am saying it maybe because I am ready to sell my....l know its is not easy. One thing with sure, I am going to join the gang to scare this big mouse! I am thinking of you everyday. I wish I could hug you personally!
Love Elena
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Here is an update about my mother in law who has lived across the street from us the last 3 years, who dh and I have looked after since we married almost 30 years ago, the same year she became a widow and we were the only ones lending her a hand, whom we bailed out of trouble many times. Out of the blue, dh's sister, who literally has never helped with their mother one iota even tho she only lives 40 minites from here, has taken my MIL out of the nursing home and took her to live with her. My MIL is going to require so much daily care, she is in a wheelchair, on oxygen, has edema and takes meds three times a day and I dont know how my SIL will manage, but I dont even care. This huge, huge responsibility of being there for my MIL day in and day out is lifting and it seems a bit surreal.
Dh let her landlord know her things will be out of the apt by end of June. MIL has big old list of things she wants and dh told her to tell her daughter to get a moving van. He has no intentions helping her move any of their mother’s stuff because she turned a blind eye when we moved her mother to our street. Anyway, MILs utilities will be closed down, dh has only a month's worth of cutting her grass, and no more having to rush her to the ER, ect. She will be sent, if needed, to a nursing home or hospital up where her daughter is
Dh and I can hardly believe we are off the hook! He can go visit but I am in no hurry. I am glad MIL is where she wants to be. Good enough for me.
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Divine~I am very happy that you feel relief. Sometimes people must play the hero, I just hope after some time can go by when you know she's being taken care of well. Then you can peacefully let it go for good!! That’s great for you and DH! Much love ~M~
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Blueshine~ hi there darling. I know it’s a difficult thing for a family to do. I just can’t walkaway from her when I can still try to at least keeps tiny relationship and always alllow her safety, when she may need it. I am highly disappointed, I go from anger, to acceptance that I have lost her , to sadness because I can’t believe that we didn’t see her get married after years of crying alone in bed filled with worry wondering if I would ever gets the chance to see that. Then look what happens. Ugh! Now they are looking for an apartment, thatbis what’s needs to happen. I realize that. I welcome that. I need peace and quiet in my own Home. Thanks again ladies.!!
Daniel, thanks for sharing how strong Leslie is. Nothing like a strong wife to share that awesome vacation. I hope she was able to get some much needed rest after her work out around town. Maybe a yummy dinner? Enjoy your vacation, I know we all hope that her leg improves very soon. Welcome to the thread. ~M~
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Good evening, ladies. It's taken a bit, but I think I managed to get caught up. My apologies for being absent.
Mic, like everyone else I am horrified at the disrespect and abuse you've had from those two children. I just want to say that the mosti important thing you can do, and must do, right now, is to take care of yourself. If you recall, I was in remission last September, and after the stress of DH's death and cleaning up the mess he left, and making some hard decisions about the future, the very next scan showed the cancer exploding all over. It's true that stress is a killer, and you can't afford it. I agree that if there's any way you can temporarily displace yourself, it would be beneficial. And I don't think leaving the utilities off is a step too far, since they have not contributed to the costs. Food too. As for the reception venue, I would cancel that sucker and not tell them; let them find out the hard way.
We all know that you love your daughter, but she is abusing you and you are enabling her in it. And it can destroy you, in a very real sense, putting an emotional stress on an already failing body. You must take care of yourself!
Now I've lost track of what everyone else was saying. I got the biopsy report, it's negative, and the PET showed no cancer progression so I start back on abraxane tomorrow. I'm now on 24/7 oxygen, and though I feel much better & stronger, it's still hard to get around, and as soon as I take it off, I feel like I can't get a deep breath. And I don't even notice the cannula now, except when my Taxotere drippy nose acts up.
One last thing, Mic. Buying this house, moving here, it's probably saved my life. It's become a sanctuary for me, an inner sanctum, a place of peace and healing of heart if not body. You cannot live for your daughter, and she doesn't want you to. Live for you, and your DH. You two deserve it.
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Jumping in my car to join the villagers... bringing Katherine Hepburn with me. She may be a tiny papillion but she has a bark with a pitch that can shatter glass... and she is not afraid to use it. That will get his ass outta bed and hopefully into a new apartment quickly!!
Hi Daniel... love the pic and am amazed by your wife!
Divine, I can only imagine the relief you must feel. That is HUGE to have that weight off you and your DH's shoulders. It must be a strange feeling right now, though.
Tanya, I'm late here but wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed the pictures you posted. You and your family are so beautiful and obviously very intelligent and driven. Congratulations to all of you!
Runor... you make me lol...
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Katherine Hepburn.... don't let that adorable face fool you....
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Divine, what a relief for you and your husband! My mother is 80 and lives about 5 minutes away from us and also my brothers house. I am fortunate that my brother and sister in law share the responsibility of looking after her and even with all of us it can be overwhelming at times. We shovel snow, plant flowers, take her to the store, doctor,etc. My father did everything for her and she will do nothing for herself and we realize that she isn't about to change at her age. She has no patience when she wants something, she will call my husband and ask him to do something then call my brother and sons and ask them to do the same thing. They show up and its already been done by someone else. Now we know to check with each other before we go. She is physically in good shape but has short term memory issues that she doesn't want to acknowledge yet so when she forgets something she reacts in anger and says we never told her. I know that most of this is probably familiar to you also and I'm so glad that you are now off the hook. Let your sister in law handle everything...just like you had to do. Screen your calls and don't answer the phone. She will soon find out what you have been dealing with for all of these years. I'm happy for you.0
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runor you are hilarious!!! I was reading your post at work and started laughing out loud. Everyone looked at me as if I had lost my mind.
keetmom- I know that you have had brain cancer but let's pray that it's just congestion induced vertigo. I had that a couple months ago. Have you taken a decongestant?
elle-Katherine Hepburn is adorable!
has anyone on faslodex and ibrance experienced any vein issues? I have a vein in my leg that has flared up
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Daniel-great pic of your family. Glad your wife is enjoying the vacation. Have a great time.
Divine-so happy that you had that responsibility lifted off you and your husband.
Lynne-you made me laugh with that picture of all of us storming in and removing that good for nothing out of Mel's house! We are badass women. He would be running for his life!
Keetmom-I hope your chemo went well and you get great scan results!
Here are a couple pics of my "bridal veils" bushes I took today.
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hello sweet ladies ~ I loved the pics of the beautiful flowers. Flowers make everything more pleasant for sure! Nice back yard Lynne!(Manch). I just have to continue to hope that they being newlycrazies that they would want to get out of our home. Don't they want their own privacy?
Last night something interesting happened, the day of her wedding, she had on other rings on one of her hands and I guess they were in a hurry and she just placed them on the stairs leading upstairs. Since I didn't go, I saw them sitting there and my first thought was take them because it may be all I would have left of her, when she leaves my life. I was going to ask DH to place one in my hand along with other things I have chosen to be cremated with..... last night I was in the bathroom downstairs and they were in the kitchen talking. I heard her saying she was upset she mis placed her rings. That she could not find them anywhere and was worried the dogs had gotten to them. I being the good person I am, came out of the bathroom and said “ I found them on the floor of the steps and didn't want someone to come charging down the stairs and crush the shape of them, they would be ruined. So she was very happy with having them back, she came over to me and I handed them to her. I said to her. I honestly thought it may be all I would have left of you, if you aren't in my life anymore. She hugged me and said. “I am not going away Mom" I'm just moving out “. While I was glad to hear that. I feel inside my soul a sort of finality in my feelings. She's going to move out and we won't talk, if she continues with this path, we will have nothing in common. Which is apparently what is intended from what I have been reading, the intended separation from families is subliminally and sneakily taught to them. That is why they shy away, anyone who isn't living like them is subject and part of Satan's world. I'm like what????? 😮. So I can see what I am up against. I just hope she gets a clue before remission wakes up and I pass away. That would be a hard thing to live with. So unnecessary.. love you ladies.
Hope. Chemo was ok Keetmom.
MJH thinking of you! A special thank you to everyone. For the support and kindness shown.
Much love ~M~
Nan??????💔😰
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holmes~ show your pcp at least your leg to be sure. Clots are tricky things. Much love ~M~
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Hello everyone-
I think I have turned the corner. Still a bit washed out and not much appetite, but I feel like a human again. Saw MO today for routine appmnt and we will try to coordinate the imaging with my IR to see how Y90/Xeloda are treating my liver-not sure when. Got my quarterly Xgeva shot also.
Been a little nuts here as my 97 yo FIL has had a sudden onset of seizures. He lives in a veteran's home about 4 hrs from here-so lots of phone consults with his siblings for DH. Frustrating because he lives in a small town and got bounced back and forth between the home and the ER all week before someone finally got a clue. So hard on a very elderly person. Elder care is sadly lacking; burns my bum.
A nice weather day here. My container flowers(mostly pansies) are looking so beautiful. Needing to get serious about veggie garden now! Had a nice lunch out with BIL and SIL, who were on their way to see FIL. Managed a cup of a clear Asian veggie soup and half a sandwich, but that is probably it for today.
Runor, count me in as one who laughed out loud while reading your post!
Micmel- I hope you know that there is no right or wrong decision when it comes to your DD. We do the best we can. There were many times when my daughter was ill or drug addicted that i contemplated having her leave. Each time, i came to the conclusion that if I did that, she would probably not make it. I did everything I could do to save her without enabling. I was naive about a lot in the beginning as the disease of addiction produces champion deceivers. I know that your situation is different, but as a mother, only you can know what your situation requires.
The Lynnes-how are you my lovelies? Lynne(Man) love the Bridal Veils-also love green and white gardens and floral arrangements. Lynne(50's)-also happen to love pink and purple gardens, and yours are looking mahvelous dahling!
Minnie-saw your comment about DH drinking. Have experience with alcoholism, as do so many of us. One thing I learned at ALANON was not to engage in a conversation with the person when they are intoxicated as usually it leads nowhere. Also that this is a disease which you did not cause and cannot fix. Nobody that ends up abusing alcohol ever set out to have it become a problem; the frontal lobe of the brain is altered and also the liver of alcohol abusers processes alcohol differently. My sister's DH is a high functioning alcoholic. he is a dear man and she has learned to live with him and love him without owning his illness.
Magda-relieved as you sound better in your recent post. You are one tough cookie, and I hope your breathing troubles can be eased.
Divine- free at last, free at last.......yay for you and DH!
and to all of my dear MBC sisters-wishing you peace, solitude, and comfort-LOVE, Mary Jane
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my DH left today and I miss him. He is my rock and protects me. I am still in shock but I guess it's just going to be this way. I may never know my grandchild, if they choose. So all of my fears regarding her and not being able to have a life with her in it because of my passing, but now it might happen anyway just because of a choice or choices she is making. Oh well so be it. My mothering days are coming to an end anyway.
Have a good weekend supportive strong powerful ladies. I sure do love each and everyone of you. Bigbhome ❤️ Chelle💜 Chicagoan❣️ GP💚 keetmom ❤️ Gracie 🧡 Runor 💙. Thanks for all personally reaching out to me the way you have. Much love ~M~
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good morning ladies. Heres to a full weekend of apartment hunting. Please happen soon!! Ugh! Hope everyone is doing good. Much love and happy weekend ~M~
Thanks for the support everyone.
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Good morning, beautiful ladies! An other busy day for me, but I needed to say Hi!
Tanya y have a wanderful family!
MicMel, Yaaaahuuu, new apartment! Your hart is broken, but you know,time will show! I think you can blame the big change in your DD behavior on Jehova witnesses. They preach to live your friends and family if they don't agree with them. Let she make her choice.
Elle, I like Katherine,
Have a good day everyone! Elen
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Blueshine ~ pace yourself with your busy day. It’s quite soupy warm here now. Don’t think I’ll be wanting to go outside when you. Instantly sweat. Gross. I pray her eyes will open sooner before later. But overall I am worried it’s not going to happen. She’s been know to pick strange guys along the way and each be relationship had its own form of abuse each time. She’s doesn’t seem to learn from her past mistakes and change decisions based on experiences and failures. I love her, but I cannot not support how I feel, about how she treated DH. That’s something I cannot un see, no less forget. Thank you for caring. Hope everyone Is doing ok today!
Bigbhome~ You’re on my mind. Love you ~M~
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Good Ibrance morning,
Late to rise today probably needed the rest.
Micmel I’ve been wanting to share a story with you about my former neighbor from many years ago. I think she had the same religious affiliation as your DD and SIL. Her and her husband raised two sons the boys were a few years younger than me. They were all standoffish and did the neighbor wave thing. Her husband was a sheriff and usually drove the car home.
One horrible evening he tried to beat the train and didn’t make it. His widow showed up on my doorstep one day after the funeral and poured her heart out. She said that she had endured with patience some of the rules that she didn’t agree to over the years but loved and fellowship led with her congregation. Apparently some people (sinners) would be given the silent treatment t for whatever offense but she said she would always smile or wink at them to let them know they weren’t alone. Apparently after her husband so tragically died she needed something repaired at her home and called the temple. The head priests wife called her back a little later and told her that she hoped she wouldn’t be calling on everyone’s husbands to fix things now that her husband was gone. (Widow shaming) - if there issuch a thing.
That’s when she came to my door and became my dear friend. She had never worked all those years and. Now had to do everything. She still held her religious beliefs to the end of her life but she left the people who were in her congregation found her voice and made a beautiful independent life for herself. I am hopeful that your DD will see the parts that concern you and make decisions based on her heart using the values and love that you and your DH have instilled in her.
Tanya
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Tanya~thank you for sharing your story and experience with me. I am definitely worried for her, she has changed over the past year and it's all becoming very obvious. I fear for her future because from what I have been reading, they certainly do not support strong women with opinions and or education. I worry that when she finally realizes what she has done. I will be gone, and it will be too late. That would be so sad. I've struggled with family issues my entire lifetime. Since I was four I can remember turmoil and stress, I believe it's why I developed cancer at such a young age. I just never imagined that something like this would happen to my child. I was always there, I took care of her, my DH and I did everything we could to keep the kids secure and happy in their environment. It's just shattering. On top of a diagnosis as we know that drains your soul and spirit already..... it just makes going through this MBC, so much harder because my emotions are already all over the place with worry about how long I'll have. It seems like they suppress their women's thoughts and feelings. No woman can ever lead their kingdom. I don't want her living like that. I want her to be an equal. My DD loves Christmas like you could never imagine. Loves Halloween. And thanksgiving. Loves it all. I just don't understand how she will feel happy when she's in the stores and sees the calendar roll by her birthday in October and no one says a thing ? Before, if that would happen , she would shit herself!!!! I guess I just have to let her go and hope she realizes before it's too late! Thanks again. I feelmfor your neighbor, she had to learn for herself...... I guess that is what has to happen. Much love ~M~
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Mae? Hope all is well haven’t seen you. Hugs ~M~
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i slept well last night. Opened my eyes and it was after 9:00 am. Hallelujah! I have been so down and stressed. I guess my body finally took the sleep it needed. Happy Sunday everyone. Hope all is well. Things are calm for now. I just need them to find an apartment like today!!!? Wtf if you need a place to live you find one. You do not sleepily sleep in Sunday morning before you bounce out of here to your stupid meeting that will further drive a wedge between us. I just am broken hearted that this is the way things have turned. I don't know why I am sooosurprised, every relationship she has turns bad. I don't think this one is going to be too much different. So sad.
Much love ~M~
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