My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Big hugs for all of this. Susan passing really hit me hard as when I was in the scared phase of find out about my brain mets, seeing her doing well made me feel better and she was a kind soul much as our Lynne was too.
I did have a nice visit with older brother.I actually skipped shopping as I really don't need anything this time. Sidewalk still lumpy and icy and wet so at first was nervous but decided to say fudge it, walked straight to the van and plotted a clear path, going to make the clear path bigger. When I got home, decided I would salt the side walk, Could not lift the whole bag so just put some in a mug and tossed it out. It will be warmer still tomorrow I believe so once it dries up, will put down salt on the regular since some of the night time temps still are below freezing.
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Just mourning our sisters. I hate cancer so much can’t shake the losses. So unfair.
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I logged in to see how everyone is doing. I see some sad news and I am sorry to hear about Sue and Lynne. I would like to congratulate and thank Micmel for creating this community that has hit 3000 pages. Thank you Mel. You createda beautiful thing.We love you!
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Molliefish~Thank you so much for your sweet words. I never dreamed we’d reach 30,000. Posts. Amazes me. But mostly makes me happy to have our family here. Even the lurkers. I know you’re out there. Thanks for remembering that molliefish!
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micmel: Your living room is my "go to" place. Yeah -- there are threads for HER2+, H&P, and liver mets but you, my dearest, are my home. Did I not see that your thread is THE MOST POPULAR?
My lurking at the beginning gave me strength.
Bless you and keep you safe!!
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Mel, I am still sad about Susan and Lynne too. I lurked a while before posting here as well. This page has been help for all of us for good days, bad days and other days that don't involve much but what we do which is enjoyable to hear about. I am in everyone's pocket sending positive thoughts, including for myself all the time.
Yesterday, went shopping at Costco with Chris and Kelly, only bought some of the ibuprofen. I realized that I actually have too much food so did not buy any extra groceries since storage is not the best. Once done my beefless ground/white rice mix will start using those as well. Still using my wax bean/black bean and chickpea mix ground up in meals and cheese. My freezer is full. Might as well save some money since I am one to stretch things out from soap, laundry and of course food. I forgot to mention that I did have a surprise CT scan so I imagine I will either get a call to say all is well or not. I also plan to ask both my MO and my RO if CT and MRI can be done once a year since I have been NED for a couple of years. All they can say is no.
Chores, indoor walking and setting up some space saving hangers I purchased are the only things on the agenda. Mealwise, usual beans, some type of protein and rice or some ramen and cheese and seasoning are the usual.
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Me again, I assume most are busy over the weekend. I even have plans to go to a wine bar with a friend. Might be good to just get out. Putting extra salt on the sidewalk and driveways. Next week, the snow should properly melt the rest of the way.
I am also doing clothes and my microfiber cloths at the same time. I decided to wandwash my clothes in the portable washer as it is gentler. I can pretreat stains and usually just plunge up and down really fast each to a count of 60. Using my heated drying tent to dry them faster. Next load are the microfiber cloths which go through the regular portable wash cycle. I love being able to use both dryers at the same time. Blankets will be steamed going forward between taking them to the professional laundromat. Not willing to be bothered with using my tub. Already a hassle removing the portable washer for showers. I can spot treat blankets as needed too. Use the tumble dryer to remove cat hair.
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this week it’s supposed to be in the 60’s. Spring is coming fast. Super Bowl tomorrow! Fly Eagles Fly!
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I am looking forward to the warmer temperatures as well. We only had major snow twice here in my city, mostly been cloudy. Overall, not a bad winter thus far.
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Oh boy am I looking forward to spring! It’s my favourite time of year, so hopeful with those determined bulbs poking their heads through, but this year it seems to be even more significant to me. Tired of cold, wet and dreary (and mucky dog feet!) and bring on the longer days! 🌞🌷💐
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I am so sad to hear of 50's girl (Lynne) passing. Like Susan it's just hard to think of not seeing their name in the thread, they were both so good to encourage and pass on helpful ideas. I didn't really get a chance to see a lot of B-A-P's posts but it's hard to think of anyone that young passing. This disease, sometimes I'm so angry I could explode and sometimes I am so full of grief I feel like I'm crumbling. The emotional spectrum is exhausting in and of itself.
Not much going on today. Just laundry. I thought about going to Costco but I am not going to go on the Saturday before Super Bowl. It's hard enough to fight the crowd on a normal day so I want nothing to do with the crowds today.
I got good news on my labs. Everything looks really stable. I don't have scans until early next month so I have a few weeks but fingers crossed those will be stable too. I'm still struggling with a lot of GI stuff, mostly nausea. I feel like I'm going to throw up most of the time and I've made peppermint and Pepto Bismol part of my regular routine. I'm also still fighting lightheaded spells where I cold sweat and get very weak though I haven't fallen again. After my scans I see my MO next month so hopefully he will have some insight.
Mel - I also consider this home. It was one of the first pages I found when I discovered my metastatic diagnosis and everyone here has been such a huge part of making this feel like a safe place to land and somewhere where I feel understood. I'm sad when I think back on Moth, and 50s girl and Susan and others that we have lost along the way but I also am excited when I see posts from the regulars too with good news to share. I'm on other threads but this is my anchor. May we all have a good weekend and find something to smile about.
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I agree totally, it is very nice and sunny today, most of the ground is dry around, even the sidewalk is looking better. I can't wait til it goes up to 10 or 11 celsius next week, will definitely take advantage and walk outside finally. Don't think I will need to salt further either unless it rains and freezes overnight. Should be safe enough tonight going to the wine bar with a friend.
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My bluebells are starting to pop up along the side of the house and other places where they have migrated to. I think they are bluebells. In any case, they are harbingers of spring. The lilac trees are getting buds.
emac: I have a PET on March 15th. Lots of time to get myself wound up and hoping it is still good news. I hope yours will be good!!
mara: hope you had a great time out with your friend.
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emac, Nausea triggers my vagal nerve (sometimes) which drops my blood pressure and makes me feel faint. I have actually fainted in the past. You might try to notice if the spells are related to your nausea. Usually if I lie down for a few minutes it passes and I can go on with what I'm doing.
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elderberry - Thank you. I will be right behind you on March 16th with a CT and a bone scan.
Wren - That makes a lot of sense to me. The nausea persists most of the day. I usually get faint feeling if I am up and moving or walking for long periods. It does help to sit or lie down with the faint spells. I used to try and rest and take it easy but that hasn't really helped long term so now I'm trying to get through a normal day and focus on plowing through the symptoms.
I am such a lightweight when it comes to weather. We've had some gorgeous sunny days here but even low to mid 50s Fahrenheit it's too cold for me. LOL. I'm happy when we are north of 65 degrees so I'm planning my garden from the window with warm tea in my hands. I did notice some tulips starting to peak up in the front of the house. I will get out there and prune the roses once I'm sure we are out of the woods for a hard freeze. Probably another week or so.
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I had a wonderful time with my dear friend. We had a lovely time at the wine bar, listening to live music and it was not crowded. I had the smallest glass of rose, charcuterie was nice, brie with crusted bread, some turkey, olives and vegetables with a seasoning I did not recognize. We chatted a long while and then she said we could take a drive. She knows I like driving when my DB takes me for a drive. Lovely time, wish we could see each other more.
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Mara, that sounds like a really nice evening with your friend. I'm glad you got to go.
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SeeQ, I was glad to go as well. I've known her since I trained her long ago when we worked together and she was just a really nice person. We agree on a lot of things as well. Waiting for warmer weather so we can do some walking.
Not sure what I will do today, supposed to be quite warm and sunny. I am thinking I will salt the curb area to finally get rid of all the ice and take advantage of a good walk in nice weather. Other than that, laundry, light housework, arranging new hanger stand and closets will be in order. Meals will still heavily feature beans, pasta, cheese and spinach along with beefless ground. That is about it.
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mara, it still annoys me that YOU are the one salting, shoveling, etc. I guess I have to get over it, but still... Be safe out there!
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Our bluebells are also just about ready to get going. Lots of green shoots in the front yard. And its daffodil season here, so its possible to get a little bundle of 6 or 7 stems for 1 or 2 pounds. I like having them in the kitchen in a glass jar, really brings some cheer.
Home from our long weekend - we had a lot of fun and saw some cool acts and some terrible acts and some interesting people. Wished I didnt have this hip flexor issue as I really wanted to stick around for some of the later DJ sets and go see some of the other sights, but alas too tired.
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Reading along, hoping for some warmer days too so I can enjoy wedding and trimming and moving plants in my yard. I do live in San Francisco, so our "cold" is laughable to others, but it's encouraging to see the sun setting later each day.
I watched The Lord of the Rings trilogy again, and wrote down what Frodo says at the end: "How do you pick up the threads of an old life. How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back. There are some things that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold."
Now, Frodo was about to get on the ship to the great beyond with Gandalf, and I'm not about to board that ship just yet... but Frodo, I feel you. 💔
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sf-cakes: I correspond with a friend in Saskatoon so I don't dare whine about us getting to sometimes -3 C (26 F) OMG --- once or twice in a winter we might get -9 C In 2022 her town hit -50 C, which is the same as -50F. This year it two weeks for the city to dig out her side streets and the place where she "lost" her car in the piles of snow.
I hope we keep Daylight Savings Time. I like it staying light until later and in the winter it is dark at 6:00 a.m. or 7:00 a.m. and black by 4:00 p.m. so why wind the clocks back?. So you get to sleep in one hour longer on one morning? I sometimes forget how far north we are.....If I can remember the slow motion car chase of OJ correctly; it was about 7:00 p.m. in LA and it was dark. Outside our place it was still really light. It's not like we like in Yukon.
sondra: I envy you being able to just hop off and go to continental Europe without it being a transcontinental/trans Atlantic journey crammed into a plane for hours.
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sf, good line from Frodo.
elderberry, I agree with the Daylight-Saving Time thing. Why keep changing it? That "extra hour" doesn't feel like much and then we lose it when we go back.
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haven’t heard from Tanya or BooBoo. Hoping they are ok. Love to all.
Can’t believe we’ve hit 30 k in posts. A lot of loss, love,support, friendship, thank you for being here with me. I know how hard each day is for us all.
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can’t sleep tonight due to steroids so thought I would give a hug and wave to all. I do try to read this thread everyday but run out of energy when it comes to posting. Sorry, for sure. You are all so caring. I need to be better at sharing. Just really tired.
So sad to see B-A-P, 50s Girl, and Susan all passing away. Such helpful, loving, tenacious women. Sigh.
Tonight was my last dose of steroids so expect withdrawal symptoms shortly. I usually have intense joint and bone pain after steroids.
Again— waving at each of you. In pockets for those with upcoming scans and positive thoughts for all.
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Dodgersgirl, post and read when you can. We can all understand being exhausted. I hope the withdrawal is easier for you.
I don't mind salting, when it goes cold again , I will keep it salted. It benefits me. I still vacuum my floor. The other residents have allowed fliers to pile up on their stairs. I refuse to pick them up.
I am looking forward to walking outside this week in sneakers. I am also checking the washer and dryer in the creepy shed. I discovered them there and if they work, could was big blankets in there. Planning to start walking to the mall again as well.
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Good morning
I’m on my way to Texas with GD. This is the 5 days I agreed to sit with my friend bc her husband has to travel. We’re going to try to have some fun as much as I can tolerate. I woke up at 3:30 am -travel anxiety. Flight is 10:00. Lol
Mel I was just thinking about Laurie Booboo too.
Waving hello to all.
Tanya
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Tanya, sending relaxing thoughts during your flight from your pocket. Enjoy the time with your friend.
I would love to hear from Laurie as well, hoping she is alright and happy.
Going to cart a couple of blankets to the washer in the shed, unsure if the washer is working, we will see. If they don't, that is OK but would be nice to have.
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Also reading along each day. Last week was just blah. My husband had a tooth extraction last Tuesday and because he is on warfarin the clot couldn't form so he kept bleeding. Finally went to emergency where they put a medication on the area. It stopped the bleeding. I'm also working on changing the communication app for my son's iPad and it has put me in a tizzy! Confusion galore even working with a speech pathologist!
Mara- the wine and live music sounded wonderful. If you are heading out walking please take care.
SF cakes- I loved the quote
I read where all these flowers are peeking through. Well the only thing peeking out here is more snow under more dirty snow! Geez..
Thinking of Booboo and Kittykat. Waving hello to all!
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Turns out the washer and dryer in the shed work, going to need to get some dollar coins as well as quarters. No bank nearby so will use ATM to get money and get change from a purchase at the grocery store. The bigger washer and dryer in the shed are less expensive than a laundromat. Going to have breakfast, go to grocery store, pay by cash and get some loonies and quarters for the change. Will be able to do two loads for a totally clean load, do that at least once or twice a month.
I will say, it always was and is very creepy so I am glad I can wash everything else here. Save my bathtub for use as a shower and not a wash machine. Clothes and everything else still being washed here. For 6 dollars, I don't think that is expensive to wash an entire bed. I am looking forward to the grocery store walk though once the dryer load is done and I get changed.
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