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My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

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Comments

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,050

    I’m so sorry to hear of another sister being lost. So upsetting. I’m thinking of her family. I missed the post. Thank you so much for pointing it out.

    Sister. Chemo is doing it’s job finally. Mother is adjusting nicely. Can’t complain. My mouth is still a problem. Thanks for asking. Hugs to all.

    ~M

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,447

    I am so sorry to hear about this. Susan made me less fearful when I got brain mets. I am sorry for her family and friends both here and real life. Feeling sad about this. Glad she's at peace now.


  • goldensrbest
    goldensrbest Member Posts: 722

    Cancer, regardless of its origin, continues to steal our family and friends. I hate damn cancer.

    Mel - so glad to hear chemo is helping your sister. Many prayers answered I’m sure.

    So I saw the orthopedic oncologist yesterday, that my regular Ortho referred me to. He believes the 💩going on in my left shoulder is metastatic. He has ordered an MRI, is planning a shoulder biopsy and is sending me to see a radiation oncologist to “get the ball rolling”. I’m not convinced it’s more bone Mets and I’m hoping he’s wrong but if it proves to be so, I’m looking forward to radiation to treat the pain. Ah the life of an MBC patient ……, which all of you know.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,447

    Goldens, in your pocket for the MRI and yes, radiation would address the pain, on the other side of that is not wanting more mets. Healing thoughts coming your way.

  • eleanora
    eleanora Member Posts: 299

    Golden's I will be very interested to hear what the radiologist and biopsy reveal about your shoulder pain. I also have significant pain in both shoulders and had myself in a heightened state of anxiety for the past few weeks because the pain seemed to be more intense and frequent. I was sure it was mets, but my cat scans and bone scan found nothing other than "degenerative uptake" of the bone scan tracer as has been seen on prior scans.

    I am 72 and have arthritis which I'm sure contributes to the pain.

    Not sure whether to be relieved or worried that the scans weren't read properly. Hope they find no mets in your shoulder.

    Eleanora

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,050

    I've been having creaky shoulder, neck,hip and thigh aches. It's not fun. , my mouth, my spine, like an oil slick Making it's way downstream.

    Thinking of all you ladies.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,447

    I am sorry to hear about your shoulder, spine and other aches and that the mouth is acting up again Mel. In your pocket sending you some healing thoughts to get rid of that crap.

  • livingivlife
    livingivlife Member Posts: 454

    It is hard to find the correct words to comfort or support when so many are dying from this frigging disease. We cheer when scans and treatments are working. We try to provide emotional support when things are bad. We know we are not in the driver's seat controlling which road we should take.

    Today that's how cancer makes me feel. Who knows about tomorrow.

    Hugs to all you wonderful ladies.

  • livingivlife
    livingivlife Member Posts: 454

    I'm feeling this downward spiral because we found out in the past two weeks that 4 people we know had died of cancer. It just makes you think.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,723

    living, I know. It truly sucks and I hate where my mind wants to go with all of this.

    Carol

  • sadiesservant
    sadiesservant Member Posts: 1,875

    Hi All,

    I’ve been lurking but quiet as I too am feeling the heaviness of this disease. I’m worried things are getting out of hand with me as I’ve lost quite a bit of weight and am increasingly short of breath. I think I’m also a bit depressed about the nephrostomy tubes if I’m honest. They’re manageable but kind of “in your face” which makes socializing a tad awkward. Don’t mind my bags of pee everyone! It’s not what I imagined for my final months. Yeesh…

    We seem to have lost so many lately and there are so many struggling. Susan has hit me particularly hard as she was always so supportive and such a wealth of information. Even with everything going on she started a thread to provide more information. Amazing woman.

    Sending positive thoughts to all those with scans or waiting for results

  • elderberry
    elderberry Member Posts: 1,067

    Susaninsf: I will miss the Head Standing Avatar. It made me smile. Her posts made me smile.

    LivingIVLife: I think we are all in a funk. We are losing too many too quickly. No matter what our current status is now, it is also a scary reminder how fast things can turn.


  • sf-cakes
    sf-cakes Member Posts: 608

    I'm joining in on the funk wagon, it's been so much loss lately. And still trying to figure out how to live without my husband (who died from a different kind of cancer, but f*cking cancer nonetheless). It helps me to hear others are struggling emotionally when I'm struggling emotionally, if you know what I mean. Love to you all.




  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,723

    Just wandering into the living room with a bag of chips. I hope no one minds. I bought a bunch of Ultra soft Kleenex at Costco, so I have plenty if we just want to have a good old fashioned cry session.

    Carol

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,050

    Sfcakes ~ feel however you need to feel the second I comes upon you. You’re allowed to feel every emotion you want. I’m so damn sorry.

    Sadie~I’m sending you big sister hugs. I cant imagine that would be easy at all. I wish this dash happening to us all.

    Love to all. On the funktrain

  • denny10
    denny10 Member Posts: 421

    The start of 2023 has been horrible, personally: covid, a chest infection and always cancer. Then so many of our friends here loosing their lives. I feel like crying a lot of the time at the moment, but I am scared if I start I may not stop. Thank goodness you are hear and understand.x

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,050

    Denny ~ I am sorry that you didn’t start the year off too great. I don’t remember a good year for quite a while now. Each one is difficult and she. It comes around again. I’m stocked to be here. We fight. , we, Scan together. I’m glad you’re all here too. Hugs to all

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,447

    sfcakes, Sadie, and everyone who needs it, I am sending a great big hug, hoping today is looking better for people as well.

    I am not in a funk but that is a rare occasion. Doing laundry and light housework. I plan to get out for a walk, spikes and cane included. Already prepared chopped beans and spinach and rice already cooked, putting in frypan in a bit with some cheese, wheat bran and making sour cream and onion to bind.. Decided to make meals a bit at a time as I hate washing a lot of dishes in a tiny kitchen. Need to find better organization in the kitchen but I have all day for that. Also doing some mall walking with DB before a little grocery shop, will be nice to see him as well.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,447

    Sadies servant, which kind of catheter did they use, one coming down your leg or elsewhere, just trying to locate some info that may help whilst dealing with the collection bag so you don't need to feel embarrassed, I don't think you should feel that way but I know that is easier said than done.


  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,723

    DH and I have a phone meeting today with a woman to discuss our Medicare options. I'm so overwhelmed!

    MO has ordered an MRI of my brain to see what's going on around mt right temple. I keep getting sudden sharp pains there. Have been tracking them for about a month. I hope it's nothing. I've had the song from the musical "Carousel" going through my head. "When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high..." I'm trying...

  • sadiesservant
    sadiesservant Member Posts: 1,875

    Thanks Mara. It's not one catheter but rather two tubes, one from each kidney. The tubes come out of my back with a bag at each end. The insertion point has to stay sterile so the nurse comes weekly to change the dressing. It also means no showers except on dressing change day - talk about life's simple pleasures!

    I have to pin the pouches to the outside of my pants to ensure that the tubes don't get pinched, cutting off flow. I had hoped that I could pin them inside my pant leg but it doesn't work. Dresses might be okay but that's just not something I'm comfortable with. I just need to get busy and sewsome covers but I'm shockingly terrible at sewing which is ironic given that I did needlework for years. I can snarl a spool of thread from across a room!

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,447

    I'm sorry they are not on the inside, can totally understand them being on the outside. Maybe, if you have trouble with the pouches, someone you know can sew some for you. Too bad leggings with a size or two up of loose pants could not be done. In your pocket anyway.

    Sunshine, in your pocket for the upcoming MRI, sending positive thoughts that they find something causing the problem besides met. I know you'll keep us posted, I am also sorry you have to adjust insurance as well. in your pocket for the insurance as well.

  • livingivlife
    livingivlife Member Posts: 454

    Sadiesservant, Sunshine, S.F cakes, Denny, Mel and everyone else on the funk train. I saw this message:

    Strong women aren't born They are made by the storms they walk through.


  • emac877
    emac877 Member Posts: 688

    I'm just wandering in to Mel's living room to sit and listen. Sometimes that's the best comfort, to sit, listen and enjoy the company and share in the struggle. I brought with me a plate of oatmeal cookies to share. In pockets for all who need it.

    I am so sorry to hear about Susan. I also enjoyed her headstand avatar (which continues to impress me) and her knowledge and support. Even in hospice she set out to help creating a thread dedicated to sharing info about the hospice process and experience. She will be missed here but not forgotten.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,447

    Oooh, the property manager is going to get an earful. Due to the lack of snow removal, I slipped while going from the driveway to the sidewalk. Luckily I landed on my stomach. I am going to email and demand they salt the driveway and salt the steps. I wasn't wearing cleats but they need to look after it better. Had a lot of trouble getting up even with DB and SIL. I was wearing non slip boots but they obviously are not great for hard ice with snow on top. I am grateful to my DB and SIL I say I was lucky to land on my stomach as no bones were broken and I did not hit my face but just proves the property manager is not doing their job. Thank god for my family.

    Edited to add, should have worn cleats as the snow was pretty wild. Cleats could have prevented it. I am going to sue them if I get injured in any way. There is no routine snow removal. Sidewalks are bad because footprints are frozen and makes the sidewalk very uneven. I may complain to the city. I would buy salt but should not have to provide that. Going to let that go and have some chocolate. I did buy a couple of treats for myself. Also going to train and lose weight so I can try getting up better. Walk on the treadmill etc. By the time I need to be out again, it will be above zero so there will be no hard ice hopefull, if there is, put the cleats on. Just makes me angry overall.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,723

    Oh Mara, that's horrible!!! There's no excuse for the bad management. I'm glad you're at least sort of ok, although I imagine you were shaken up by your fall.

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,708

    So, DH and I went to town today and while driving home through sparsely populated ranch land, we saw (much to our delight), 2 llamas near the fence on someones property. Then, DH says “Fuck it, I’m gonna buy a Camel” Yes, a real camel, lol, no big surprise, he’s been talking about it for a couple years, not sure how this will play out.

    Also, we’re leaving for Houston on Saturday, I’ve got scans on Sunday and Monday, I’ll keep you ladies posted.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,447

    I'll take some advil tonight since I landed hard but it would have been worse had I hit my head. The property managers will have a lawsuit waiting if I injured myself again. If I went out alone, would have had cleats on but you know it is bad when I am in non slip boots. Another thing this points out is I really need to focus on strengthening my push power of my legs and getting more arm strength. Cardio itself is just not enough. Almost makes me want to get an exercise bike too. Losing some weight would be good but getting and preserving muscle strength and actually practicing getting up is obviously a necessity, in snow or no snow. If worst came to worst, could have scooched on my bum to get to the grass and crawled to the stairs. I did have some chocolate, treated myself today. I will say that my email was still polite but demanding and I will go out on cleats until the ground is dry. Might look into adding an exercise bike and buying more weights for arms and increasing leg strength with squats. No excuses. I don't want to be the lady I used to laugh at in the ads when I was a kid, who said I've fallen and I can't get up. You never know when life will catch up to you. Need to take it serious and add more protein to the diet as well.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,447

    Well, the snow is pretty crazy out there so will be skipping the outdoor walk as the wind is causing some problems seeing stuff. Was going to try an outdoor walk but will skip it in favour of indoor walking. By the time I go to the cancer clinic Wednesday for Herceptin, some will have melted and if it does not look safe, cleats and UBER will do.

    Nothing much planned here, couple of loads of laundry, sweeping and vacuuming the floor and that is about it.. I am thankful that my shoulders are the main sore spot from the fall, could have been worse for me.

  • candy-678
    candy-678 Member Posts: 4,167

    This was posted on another Thread.

    Here is the obituary for SusaninSF, please share it in the various threads... We were lucky to have her here!!!

    https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/sfgate/name/s...