My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Comments
-
You know. Basically every damn thing is expensive. I had our fridge basically just stop cooling everything. Slowly of course so everything would get ruined. So DH and I go out to look for one that's comparatively similar to the one we have now. Now keep in mind this fridge is older than my children and is a Kenmore item. I purchased it in 1993. It lasted longer than two cars. I am overly annoyed and shocked 😮 and shocked 😳 at the prices now a days for a box that keeps things cool. I almost shit the golden brick. The one we ended up with is a little smaller and of course almost cost double! I'll tell you. I don't know how our children are supposed to be successful in this world. It used to be the father would Work and the mother could stay home and take care of the kids. Not some stranger where your child is one of like twenty to be watched. Plus you're paying more than half of what you even bring in.. it's a mad mad world ladies.
I just woke up. Geeze I am so lame. Hope all is well with everyone today... Gonna have to force a shower. It's like one of those circus acts where you're behind the curtain and everyone pays a dollar to see this freakish form behind the curtain. That's how I feel in this new life I've been trapped in for two years. Ugh everything becomes that much harder with cancer! The cashier had to pry the card from my fingers to pay for the fridge. I was I in shock jaw dropped and drooling. DH just stood and laughed at me. Lol Hope everyone has a great day. My sweet sisters!
Much love~M~
Hi Keetmom ~ thinking of you and anyone else who may be having scans tHis week. Holding you close to my heart!
I saw MOM posted a heart wrenching post about Dani and what happened and an update about the family. I can’t stop crying. Just know please that although you may try to refrain from close relationships here on these boards (Mae) I can’t help to love you all. (Mae). You can fight it all you want (Mae) but you belong.! Have a kick butt day ladies, I have to shower. Can put it off anymore!
Love to all. Again welcome Robin. You beautiful woman. She has a magnificent wedding photo I want her to post to add to our collection!! one day I promise wherever I put my prom picture for safe keeping, and I remember where that is. I will post it. I had big hair and A very royal blue dress strapless. It was the 80’s remember lol. ~M~
0 -
At my high school we had Junior prom(can't find photos) and a senior ball and "Grand March". All the girls wore white dresses and carried red roses. The boys wore white tuxes. This is me in 1976 with my Dad. I was 17! Whoa! 0 -
Same senior ball 1976. This is me with my only sibling. She is 6 years younger than me. My mother sewed both of our dresses, my sisters' from antique fabric that we had in our five generation farmhouse. I was like a little mother to her, and though we are very different, she has always been my hearts' delight.0 -
MJH~wow, your dad is quite young looking and you my friend are dazzling. I love your hair with the pretty white bow!! If you didn't tell me that was not a prom picture I would have never known. Your dad looks young. How old was he in this ? Do you know? My dad always looked young also. But he smoked everyday and it caught up with him. Now he’s a lonely old miserable sack of potatoes still smoking and drinking himself to death.
Obviously you have been born into great genes!! I saw you mentioned it was 1976. That interests me because I was 6 years old then. I love seeing pictures of the fashion each decade especially! Somehow everything has a way of coming back around and regains style. Now I have to find that prom pic. You're a beautiful woman, clearly inside and out. Thank you for sharing. Much love ~M~
0 -
Bigbhome~ Good morning my friend. I like to think of this thread as ours. And you my dear were also one of the originals also. I do watch over it. I do care very much about the people here. I hope I never offend you or anyone with PM's when I need to ask if you're ok. It's just the way I am. I create my circle and I Care for it. Circles never end. That's why I like them. I finally found something that I can say never ends. Just like our friendships here. I will not allow them to ever end. I Care very much for you and worry about your DH and MIL. My good thoughts and vibes list is hugely long. But I don't mind. Many of days BCO has been here when i was alone in my head. If a big break is needed, we will know... soon I'll be going in for surgery, I'll have my phone. But don't hold anything I say against me. Lol. I care so much I may even be annoying. I'm sorry about that. But it's true. Much love ~M~
0 -
I know rpoole. HI. Love the pics MJH. I'm like you micmel, wherever I stored my prom pics will take some digging. I know I have pics of junior and senior proms, 1965 and 1966. Talk about big hair, WAIT till you see mine!!! My senior prom dress I designed and made myself. Very proud of that one. Sewing was my easy A class from 7th grade on. Of course sewing class was nothing like "Project Runway", although I love to watch that show.💞
0 -
I am a sibling of 4 of us in total with my being the youngest. so three older. My one brother is my closest sibling. He is ten years older than me. But is my best sibling and I adore him. He's the one who had the heart attack. Which scares me. He has a troubled life because my parents sucked. My mom did what she could, but went through hell because my dad found someone younger. Then left four children for a miserable mean woman who would go on to try to ruin my life and my kids lives during our divorce.
My other sister. 9 years ahead of me used to be my best friend. We were always together, some how someone intervened, from above, and we had some issues from my divorce, and she's didn't like me anymore. she chose my x's side. She's never been happy one day in her life. Blames my mother who wasnt good at the time because she was rebelling from the break up. The kids got caught in the middle. My mother brought people home into the House that shouldn't have been around my sister. Let's just say, I don't even know what went on. But I'm sure it wasn't ok for her. I'm positive it wasn't. From that day forward she became very dark. Very angry. Never to be the same. It makes me feel sad. But I was always good to her. Through the drug addictions, the beatings from her husband. While pregnant. I stood between him and her. Taking the brunt to protect her. I was young and strong. I knew I wasn't scared of him I was scared for her. But she threw me away. We haven't spoken in 13 years until the week I was diagnosed, she called crying. Wanted to see me. Uh. No thanks. Choice made. People don't change. I didn't want her kids around mine. Her son is the exception. He got lucky. He will be ok. The three other girls. Not so much. One gave birth in prison the other is a junkie one day and then healed the next according to her Facebook which I don't have but heard from others.
My other brother is 6 years older than me. He is a joke. He still thinks at 53 he's going to be a rock and roll star. I don't think so. Narcissistic behavior at its finest. Haven't spoken to him in 13 years as well but it's really ok I left it all behind and found my circle. My family. And I would never look back or change a thing. I don't need fair weather family. Can't chose our families, but I wish we could. They make messes of lives for what? Family is a very confusing thing. At least for me. ~M~
0 -
MJH ~ you're beautiful and your sister looks like a sweet sister. It makes me happy to hear how close you are. That's special. I need to see that because I don't have that anymore. It makes me happy to see that there are normal families out there! Although I know everyone has their share of hard times. It's just such a precious memory and picture to have saved.
Sometimes I wish we could go back and have another try. I'd change nothing. But just pay attention to more things around me, appreciate the good times more around my property of where I grew up. I believe that is what saved me. Being able to get away into the pool or walk through the acres to my best friends house. Or sit on my bench near the barn. That was my oasis. Oh how I want to go back there again. Please. If only for a day. I didn't realize how lucky I was for the place that I grew up. My father awful, my mother loved me unconditionally and still does., she crumbles with the mention of my illness so then I step into the mothers role and comfort her. She knows I am the only one she can count on. The others are so lost and so much estrangement!
MJH~ I love that sisters picture so much. I don't even think we tooka good pic together , not even once! Wow. So pretty! ❣️ ~M~
0 -
Hi everyone,
Bighome- so happy to see you! Hoping it indicates that you are keeping your head above water. Still on awe of all you have recently gone through. Thinking of you and DH.
Grannax- I had wanted to respond to your first post about the confusing appmnt, but I got so mired down in my own garbage, that it got by me. Anyway, I'm not sure why your MO doesn't want to use Fulvestrant next. My MO will use the Affinitor/Exemestane after Fulvestrant IF patient gets a long run with the Fulvestrant. If not, he abandons the hormonal treatments and moves to the cytotoxic chemos and/or targeted therapies. Xeloda is an oral cytotoxic med. You haven't progressed, though, correct? Hallelujah for that. Calling F1 sounds like a great resource. The main take away for me from my genomic testing(done at a lab here in the Northeast) was an "actionable" mutation". There were 8 clinical trials suggested. I did not get beyond that, though I did read that there were "no variants of prognostic relevance identified". Well, I already know the prognosis here, so what difference would that make! The "trial" that I am in that provided the genomic testing involves educating oncologists in reading the reports. it seems that there is a lot of info that is interesting, but not really useful at this point in time.
50's Girl- Stay in Florida! Naples Botanical Gardens sounds heavenly! I LOVE the UK! I get why the Irish and the Scots have major issues with the English; they were brutal. Scotland is magical! The food has improved significantly since the days of stodgy mushy meat pies necessary for the bad teeth! Thanks always for your kind empathetic words.
Lynne(Man)- sounds as though you are soldiering on- what a strong gal you are! The prom photos were just terrific! I remember well the Guinne Sax days! So, enjoy that Cooper rally! If you and 50's girl are meeting for lunch, maybe I could drive over from Maine? Just putting it out there....
Keetmom- glad everything is fairly uneventful with the RADS. I'm betting the birthday celebration was fun!
Micmel-How are you doing girl? You are so dear with the way you keep tabs on all of us chickies!
Minnie- need you to get pain relief STAT!
Robin-welcome! It is nice here! Different from other more technical threads..
Shout out to Mae, Lynnwood, Blueshine, Leapfrog,Tanya, Runor, Magda, Gracie, and all of you other dear souls.
Have the best day possible; may the force be with you. MJH
0 -
I wanted to mention that I haven't seen Divine around. I hope she's ok. My mind never stops looking! Hope you're ok and just taking a break. Hugs to you. ~M~
0 -
Bigbhome, I’m definitely up to meet whenever you find yourself in town, just let me know
Micmel, LOL!!! Are you trying to tell me (Mae) something 😆 Point taken.
MJH, great pics! You look beautiful.
Hi to everyone else
0 -
am I that transparent (Mae) ? What can I say. I am a communication creature! If I Care you know it!!! Much love ~M~0 -
MJH. I just read my report again. For me it's a hard read but I picked up a few things this time that I had not before. I did ask for a call from F1 but they have not called yet.
There's so much information in the report. It lists study after study that correlates with much better survival time from faslodex and many other combos than with AA because of me having ESR1 amplification. It's black and white, not hard to understand. Makes me wonder if I should set up an appointment to discuss report. Maybe I caught her off guard. We have not had a satisfactory conversation about the report since I got it almost 2 months ago. I may take my friend with me who has a science background.
My January scan was sort of mixed but she labeled it stable. I know lots of ladies, like me, who want to discuss next treatment options before definite progression. Plus my F1 report says numerous times that my alterations indicate a poor survival rate. Sad..I'm on cycle 13 of IF.
Sorry ladies, I would rather be talking about happy stuff on this thread. But, I'm so not happy right now.😢
0 -
I found a some more pictures of my wedding. The reason i was looking was because of MJH's Dads picture and how Young he really looked. My dad looked so young, not a gray hair to be seen for years and years then all of a sudden it just changed. Kinda like what happened to me! Out of my control. But for him, he could have changed his smoking and drinking. Now his monster of a wife is traveling all around with his money. While he sits in one corner all alone, sometimes he falls. So I hear.. anyway. He decided I wasn't worthy of his Iove because I was being divorced, all the while conveniently forgetting the fact that he left four children under the age of 16 alone with their mother. For someone else. At least when I divorced, I put my children first and I didn't marry a strings attached do as I say not as I do monster hag bitch that ruins people's lives, and then speaks of it as if it is the daily circular for gossip. I think I've come to a point to where I am pretty ok with what has happened. I've become.... what's the word. In different! I was always told I was his favorite, which i think is gross. If he treats his favorite things like this. I would hate to see someone he didn't like. Now I am grappling with even posting it. Your own flesh and blood. Makes no sense. I feel happiness when people speak good things about their fathers. It's important. My DH is a wonderful father so I know they exist, I just didn't get one. I'm so glad others have. Bring on the father pics! They are special too!! Even though mine just decided he was done. Then came back, then was done, then threw a huge wedding for me. Then left again. It's like ping pong. Lol.
Hope the snow stays away! For you guys in Maine and north north!! ~M~
0 -
Grannax~you can talk about whatever needs to be let out. We are with you no matter what. I have mixed days that are up and down. I would want nothing more for all of your questions to be answered and for you to feel better. If you need a second opinion. Then maybe they would explain the report better. I hope you get a call back from F1 soon! I will send you many thoughts of strength! Why does everything have to be so damn hard?! Let it out!! This thread is for your good days and of course bad as you can see from my rambling posts 😞!
You know now that I am bitching.... I'm sitting here in my home and someone actually knocks on my door, a freaking solicitor for Home Star, like go away. I don't want to look at you. Stop bothering me. Now my dogs are barking. And I'm pissed off. I was laying down. Grrrrr okay rant complete. We have a no soliciting sign st the front if our neighborhood! idiots!
Hang in there Grannax, we are with you ! Always. Effing cancer F/u!! Love you guys ~M~
0 -
I can't believe that today I noticed a profile with a location that is literally like within an hour of my house. he first time really that it's even been close enough to where I even knew the area at all. This area I know, I used to live near there. And my best friend lives really close to there now. Small world huh! I hope you ladies do get to have lunch together, I think that would be a very sweet and touching moment. So awesome ! Hugs ~M~
0 -
Welcome, Robin! We do have a great time on here! Lots of love and support from everyone!
Awaiting our 3rd Nor'easter in 10 days. It's suppose to start overnight, and last until tomorrow evening. 8-14" being forecast this time. Of course the snowblower is giving DH a hard time. It's 10 years old, and he worked on it again for a couple of hours tonight. I guess it's time for a new one. He dumped a few hundred dollars on it a couple of times. Always something!
Hope everyone has a great day tomorrow!
Lynne
0 -
Lynne~You guys just simply cannot catch a break can you? It's just going to clip us and that is okay with me. What a crazy ending to a late starting winter. It seemed like we were going to get away with little to none. But not so much. Please be safe and stay warm. I guess there be no mini ride this week huh? That sucks ! Much love ~M~
0 -
Everyone up north expecting snow - stay safe, stay warm, stay dry. I hope that you don't lose power. I hope this is the last snow of the season.
MJH, Believe me, it takes no convincing for me to stay put here in Florida while NH is repeatedly bombarded with storms. I do feel a bit guilty about sitting in this sunny weather, but I do what I must. As far as I am concerned, you will always be welcome to drive over to join the Lynnes for lunch. Anyone else out there live nearby? We can have a party
Lynne, I hope that snowblower comes back to life long enough to clear out tomorrow's snow. I heard that the snow will be light and fluffy this time instead of wet and heavy like the last storm. I realize that is of little comfort, but it's the best I can think of. Just keep thinking about next month's trip to Disney. Are you counting the days?
Micmel, I saw Divine on another thread earlier today.
Now to RUNOR..........We are all waiting.......puppy or no puppy?
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
0 -
Micmel- my Dad was about 44 in that photo. Even as he aged, he kept that sparkle in his blue eyes. He passed away 9 years ago at age 77.
I wonder if you have heard the story of the huge conference that was arranged for "The Society for Functional Families". They had to cancel it because no one signed up.
Sounds as though you had some family challenges growing up. it's a wonder people turn out as whole as they are after some of the boners their parents pull. It must feel so confusing to love someone and look up to them and then have them let you down. Painful. my family was mostly intact, but we had our share of good old fashioned dysfunction!
Love ya, MJH
0 -
Thank you ladies for the nice warm welcome. I can feel the love already!!!
Grannax2, Glad your on this site!
I don't have prom pics because I was so shy back then and boys scared me! lol So I will post the wedding picture of me and my Daddy.....Bride/Father dance!
0 -
Lynne(50's)~ thank you for letting me know You had seen Divine! That makes me feel better. You're still in Florida and you're not posting pics ? Goodness me. How am I supposed to live vicariously through you if you don't post pics of that beautiful water. I'm kidding. But they are really beautiful! How long are you going to be staying.? I'm jealous. I really hope your lunch happens. That would be amazing. Jealous again!! Hugs and have some great time making memories!!
Tanya~. You alright darling ? Haven't seen you either ! Speaking of Florida hope all is well with you and your family!
MJH~ dysfunctional isn't the word! In every way possible I believe my family had it down pat, now that I look back no one ever cared for anyone else but themselves, was me caring about everyone else ! When I went away the family imploded and now no one talks. Just who didn't turn their backs on me, when I needed support the most! They are still in my life! I supported all of them. But they didn't support me... sorry to babble about my dysfunctional family!! And as a matter of a fact I just got a text from One of them right now. Lol his ears must have been ringing. But he's the good one. Hope everyone stays safe in this snow, you're in Maine right ? Thanks for listening ~M~ be safe. Enjoy that handsome smiling grandson. ☺️
Robin~ oh beautiful Robin!! You're just so lovely. You have such a natural beauty about you. I can't believe you're shy! You look like the quintessential beautiful bride. That is just elegance, it doesn't look like you even have any make up on and you're just stunning ! I am so glad you're here with us. You're so very welcome. We are thrilled to have you!!! I figured you would know some of these wonderful ladies here in our little circle and or pub. Like Mae says. It truly is like cheers, everyone knows your name. Truly beautiful picture! Thank you for sharing. ~M~
0 -
My chair is clear of clothes for the first time in months! Anyone have any ideas on what to do with the cords. They go to the tv on the wall. Love my chair!
0 -
I do cook sometimes! I made the sauce for this week's ago and I froze it. It's called Sicilian Beef and Vegetable Casserole. Chock full of veggies! Spinach, carrots, onions, mushrooms and tomatos!
0 -
Micmel, I think Tanya is on her trip to Dubai and Saudi Arabia. I will be in Florida for the entire month of March. Here are a few pictures that I took at Naple Botanical Gardens. Have a good night
0 -
Bigbhome~ Chair is very cool! Is that leather ? I like it a lot. Sounds like you haven't seen it in a while? I would get a few of those long outlet electric strips to space out the wires better and then fascin the strip to the back of the chair? My DH drilled a small hole big enough for a hook to hook it on the wood to lift up the wires because there was so Many, but I can't see what the back of the chairs is made of. And if there are any small wood place for an eye hook type! Make any sense? It helps while vaccuming Also then you can take it off the hook and have the strip in your hand! To move the wires around together! Good luck. Looks like a nice room! Love the chair! Where did you get it? ~M~
0 -
Micmel, The chair is leather seat, with a cowhide back. The back of the cowhide is leather. I bought it 11 years ago and they no longer make them anymore. I also have 2 leather and cowhide backed chairs from the John Elway line that is no longer manufactured. They are not as pretty as this one, though. I am trying to sell those, we have too much furniture. Way too much!
0 -
Our previous house looked like a NW ski lodge! The furniture was perfect for it, now, not so much.
0 -
Lynne(50's)~Ok jealous! Those are really magnificent, the purple is vibrant and the water behinds the Lilly pads seems so very dark. It inhances the beauty of the colors. We went to longeood gardens in Kenneth square pa and I remember so much Beauty in those places. Some of he flowers would literally go away under the water at night when the sun went down. It was amazing. What a wonderful calmibg place. Enjoy it so much. Thanks for the pics
I loved them. ~M~. Thanks for the remainder for Tanya. I hope she's doing well. Would
Love to see those pics as well! What a traveling bunch of amazing women here.!!
Bigbhome~ I cant imagine selling something so cool. I know you're trying to consolidate all your furniture and items. I really hope it's coming along good for you. If you're trying to get rid of things that awesome. Contact the American pickers. That is some cool shit!! I hope you're resting your back also.... how has your tummy been. Ever figure that all out? You seem better. Which I am very happy about! Hugs my friend ~M~
Robin~ what year were you married? you look so young in that photo. You even kinda look shy there. But being with daddy kinda makes it ok huh? Truly love it ~M~
0 -
Bigbhome~ you amaze me! You're a strong wonderful woman. Do you know that my friend.?? You just keep on going, doing what needs to be done. Helping everyone along the way. I think you're amazing. So I thought I would tell you that today! I hope selling your furniture isn't goong to be a long process for you. If if all look like that it should go quickly! I hope DH is resting comfortably and you getting some needed rest also! Rest does a body good! Much love ~M~
0
