My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

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  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511

    Irish, that poem is sad but also lovely at the same time, describes how a lot of us feel. Sending hugs your way.

    Not much going on here, two loads of laundry, got the wee washer cleaning up in the kitchen. Solved a problem where it was collapsing by hooking the drain hose to the dishrack above, holds it up more which is good. Doing some cloths right now. Other one got towel and other stuff in there. I am finding that the tiniest amount of Tide with oxy clean in it gets stuff very clean and it will take forever to get it used up which is good.

    Not planning to go anywhere today. Going to do some major budget boosting which is great for me, playing two mobile games I get paid a little bit for and can put into paypal and add to my budget or the next time I go shopping.

    I still have some of the mexican rice dish I made yesterday, planning to use some of it but add a precooked chopped egg, beans, lentils and tomatoes, put the tomato in with it for breakfast, small amounts of each. Later, planning to do a tortilla with cheese powder, garlic powder and pizza sauce, put some lentils and beefless ground with shredded cheese over top.

    Hoping everyone has a good day and in pockets for all that need me.

    Catherine

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 851

    Irish Truly spoken from your heart, beautifully written ❣️

  • intolight
    intolight Member Posts: 2,387

    Laurel, lovely poem from the heart and so true. Thank you for sharing.

  • goldensrbest
    goldensrbest Member Posts: 733

    Irish - what a heartfelt poem…..❤️

  • shanagirl
    shanagirl Member Posts: 442
    edited August 29

    I’m stopping by in Mel’s Living room be with you all this evening. I see a lot of you sharing some of your struggles my heart is with .you and I’m in your pockets.

    @irishlove. I read your poem and it touched my heart. In so many ways. Thank you for sharing it with us. Had a few days of feeling like that in the poem.

    @threetree, it seems like you and I are usually matching with our pain and wondering what’s causing it. I’ve been the same, last couple of weeks. Didn’t know if it was a summer cold, or my allergies and asthma, and all the bone pain, extra exhaustion and sleepiness all day, that passed but still am not feeling up to going out with the heat…my older daughter who works at a spa, and teaches color and hair styling to new hires coming out of school. So I went by her the other day to get my hair done, and felt better, but couldn’t wait to get home the afternoon in that chair was long & tiring on my neck & spine. It's this cancer thing that causes this. I’m convinced it’s the MBC and the. Side effects of all the treatment. Period. I hate wondering what’s causing all the discomfort. I. Know it all started with this metastatic cancer beast in me. The idea it could Covid? We don’t need a new thing to worry about. Not buying it. Just another media scare, and I refuse to embrace it. My whole life it was a cold or allergies, or flu or the 24 hour bug. Covid ???? Nope 👎 wear a mask or you’ll die, nope👎, monkey pox, nope 👎. Just taking one day at a time. The last two days I picked up a paint brush after weeks of avoiding something I love. Just a few touch ups on nearly finished Painting. It helped to lift my low mood.. then I cooked dinner. Now that is always exhausting. I don’t do it. Every day. I wish I had the energy that our sweet @mara51506 has🥰Maybe I should us her idea of the Elvis Lip curl😊

    @tougholdcrow I’m just loving that handsome kayak companion riding in the front. He looks like a Really nice guy. I love dogs so much. Could never be without a dog in my life 🐕🐕‍🦺 ♥️

    @sondraf Good wishes your way so you can continue to get relief from your pain from the lymphedema. So sorry you are going through that and hopefully the Lymph Specialist will work some magic. And in your pocket this week. Hopefully the Big D will subside. 🩵

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 851

    @gailmary Hey sorry to hear you have a new primary, it just stinks! I am here to say being mtnbc that since i was diagnosed in 2016 tnbc there have been many advances in treatments. I wish you weren’t dealing with this at all but glad there is more to offer tnbc these days. Hugs

  • chicagoan
    chicagoan Member Posts: 1,061

    Candy, what kind of vehicles are you considering? I know you have driven a truck for years. Are you looking to get a new truck or downsizing to something smaller? Good luck with your search.

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,749

    Shanagirl - Yes, I've noticed that you and I seem to be going through some very similar things, and we are indeed, for the most part on the same drugs. I think they have a lot to do with it. I'd been feeling really lousy for over a week now, and yesterday morning it seemed to be even worse. I just hit the wall and then decided to skip my morning Verzenio dose. I absolutely hate doing that and wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but sure enough, by afternoon I had some new and wonderful energy, all my stomach problems were subsiding, and I really started to feel human again. It was a guilty pleasure indeed! I took the evening dose though, and will take my morning dose soon - back on track for another few months I guess, until I decide I just can't stand it anymore and I cheat again (myself mostly). It does allow me to know that somewhere in there, I am still here, still myself, and still human. Ugh! You know Intolight is on pretty much the same drugs too, and I also really relate to her struggles. She seems to experience a lot of what you and I do, and again, that makes me pretty sure that the drugs are the main culprit here.

    So glad to hear that you've been able to do some painting again. It definitely seems to be your passion, and it's wonderful that you can continue with it through all of this in one way or another!

    Gailmary - I am just so very sorry to hear about the new primary! I liked to think that when we are on all of these drugs, at least a new one won't be able to get started and that all we have to keep dealing with is the "old one". Hugs! I do know that you have done well for years on fulvestrant alone, so with everything else that is out there, I'm sure they will have many options for you with this new development, and so while this is unfortunate and you have new stuff to deal with, there is a lot of hope there too.🤞

  • candy-678
    candy-678 Member Posts: 4,175

    Chicagoan- I have had a truck for the last 20 years (the same one). I always loved a truck- sits higher in traffic, can haul something without having to borrow someone's truck, I liked it. But, since I have the arthritic issues now, I cannot get up into the truck bed anymore, and I have trouble cleaning off the windshield with it being so high. So I am downsizing, a lot… to a subcompact car. More my size (I am short and thin), and better gas mileage. My truck is my past me. Time to change to something more 'me' now.

  • intolight
    intolight Member Posts: 2,387

    @gailmary So sorry to read about a new primary. That shouldn't be happening! I will keep you in my prayers for a treatment that works quickly.

    @threetree I also have occasionally intentionally skipped a dose here and there. I know the med remains in your system for awhile so I don't feel like itis crucial if I miss one. I may be kidding myself but it does provide a little needed respite. I think the lower dose (50mg) is finally beginning to help (after two weeks) but I am careful not to skip any. I think part of it is mental because I still struggle to empty the dishwasher, etc. Nothing has changed enough that I can celebrate. Anyways, I find myself wanting to do more even if I don't have the energy. That is progress!

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511

    Irish, lentils do not have a strong taste, they take on the taste of whatever it is put in. Nice thing with them is there is no real work to add them to something. I even add to eggs or rice at times or on a pizza, whatever you wish. I also prefer canned lentils as I do not have the patience for dried.

    Shanagirl, I don't honestly have a good reserve of energy, just take breaks every few minutes, even when I dress or put my makeup on. As long as I get stuff done, don't care how long it takes.

    Had my RO appointment, virtually identical to the call in appointment is MO last week, stable for the blood pool in head, no change in brain.

    I am going to have meat pies for dinner tonight, simpler meal since am going out with DB.

    My first post did not go through so hope everyone has a good evening and in pockets sending sleepy thoughts when you go to bed.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511
    edited August 30

    Gailmary, I am so sorry to hear about the new tnbc in your biopsy. I agree that treatments are better than they were even just a few years ago but it is a punch in a gut to hear about for sure, I am in your pocket supporting you at this time.

    Snow drop, it is not too much to ask, I am sorry you are dealing with this as well. In your pocket as well sending support and healing thoughts.

    Mae, those babies are precious, thank you for showing us.

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 851

    Mae Awww love this pic, simply adorable!

    @snow-drop UGH that's simply unacceptable! I'm sorry for the delay as we all know the anxiety it creates. Fingers crossed for good results.

    Mara Hope you had a good outing with DB.

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,749

    Intolight - Yes, we might only be doing ourselves a big disservice by skipping a dose here and there, but I almost "have to". I seem to get something like an almost total body and mind "re-set" when I do. Even if it's just for a few hours, it is so good to feel like somewhat normal again. It's almost like a "reverse drug addiction" or something. I just crave feeling normal again and even it it's for just a few hours once a month or something, I treasure it!

    Please keep us informed about how the 50 mg. is going. I've also lowered to 100, but it is my understanding that 50 is still a questionable dose in terms of effectiveness. On the other hand, I can't believe your doctor OK'd it if it hasn't been shown to be worthwhile. Gosh, even feeling like you want to do more, even when you still can't is progress with these drugs! Good for you. Hopefully with time, the new lower dose will give you more energy, physically and mentally! You have my heartfelt sympathy and I get it.

    Snowdrop - I am so sorry for what you've just been through. I hope that you are feeling better this morning. Cannot believe that they "forgot" to send the sample to the lab! That is outrageous. I'm assuming that the sample they took is still viable and that it will just delay the results, and not require a "re-do"! Feel better soon, and know that we are all here for you. Hugs.

    Mae - I just love that photo! Thanks so much for posting it.

  • intolight
    intolight Member Posts: 2,387

    @sondraf So happy you had a good day yesterday. It's the little blessings that keep us going! Here's hoping your scan is good.

    @illimae Love the pictures. I don't miss the house but I do miss our living near the hills. We were in a deer path and had them constantly. The elk and deer are not on the plains where we live now having been pushed out further with all the new construction. And I swear the mama dear brought their babies to us to see.

    @mara51506 You are so creative and brave with your meals. I am trying to cook more healthy for my little family of four but the DGD is super picky and barely eats anything I try. It is discouraging. This has been going on for years (she is nine.) If it were just the DH and I we would eat differently. And I don't have energy to fix two meals as I barely get one done! We make her try everything hoping someday she will improve. I do throw in something I know she will eat if I get too creative and fear she will just shut down. Sometimes I separate what she will eat, like chicken or plain pasta, before I throw the rest into the meal. At least she gets that. Trying to disquise anything doesn't work. She is too smart for that.

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,749

    Mara - When you mentioned Tide, I could smell it. My mother used Tide and I would know that scent anywhere, after growing up with it. I've never used it myself, but I think about maybe getting some once in a while when I get nostalgic about growing up and missing the family, etc.

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,749

    Mae - Those donkeys are beautiful, and in such a beautiful setting too!