My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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haha! Funny puppy ❤️
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they sure are funny. Somedays i find Italk to my dogs more than I talk to people! Yikes. Good to see you Mae, thoughts on KC winning ? I wanted Tyler to Win. But my second favorite was KC she was a competition Beast! Great season yet again! Celebrity big brother in winter! Have a good night. It's 12:05 am and I'm still awake!
Goodnight! ~M~
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Thanks for the news about Patty. I'm Sending you warm hugs Micmel, you are not alone. Look for us in your pockets, I hope you have big ones as we crowd in there to stand with you. Loved your dog photo....hilarious!
Runor, beautifully said. We stand in silence, together...remembering. This disease is relentless, it picks no favourites. It robs from us, bit by bit.....and yet we live with hope.
I'm going for Taxol #21 tomorrow. I think and hope it will be my last one. My feet are affected enough now that when I drive, I can't always feel the brake or gas pedal, and have caught myself braking either too quickly or not quickly enough. Scares the heck out of me and makes me mad....I hate how the treatments also rob from us. Sigh. Life lurches on, brightened by my grandson who is walking more and more each day (11 steps at once yesterday)and turns 1 in about a week.
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I can’t believe that Patty is gone! She fought like a true warrior. My prayers go out to her sons. I can sympathize with them because I lost my mom to this beast when i was 10 years old. She will be truly missed
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Pots~It's a Terrible loss. I honestly have no words to convey, I am constantly thinking about her dear family. Hearing you mentioning your grand baby brings such smile and joy to me that I needed today. Hug that precious angel. Nice to see you pots.
Holmes~I am deeply sorrry to hear that you had lost your mother at age 10. That was always my fear for-my children. As any other mother would feel. I honestly think, her youngest is just recently12. One of them had a birthday the day after she passed, which I guess was yesterday. I am thinking of her family. I amso very sorry for your loss Holmes. Too young for that. My heart aches for things like this. Makes no sense! Good to see you all.
I finally saw Magda posting. She came out for Patty that made me smile. Love you guys.
We hit 6 thousand posts yesterday. Thanks guys. For a place to hold our memories. And for being sister with me in this awful battle raging within.
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Ok, just caught up on 4 pages of posts here.
Gracie-I'm so happy that your lump was nothing. YIPEE!
MJH-I wish I knew what kind of car she drives, so you could dump the rotten fruit in it! LOL She wasn't there when I went in yesterday. I was suppose to have my 3rd CMF chemo, but my white cells were too low. They were 700, and last week they were 1000, which they consider low to, but they lowered the dose of Citoxin by 25%. I am now scheduled for 7:45 am (UGH!!) next Friday. I still plan on meeting up with all of you. Lynne called me yesterday, and is picking me up at 10:30 on Wed. I'm sure my white cells will be higher by then (I'm staying away from restaurants and stores until then). They jumped a lot from a week ago, but not enough.
Lynne-My husband's family takes turns at Christmas (maybe your kids could do that). There are 4 children, and we go oldest to youngest (we had it last year, he's the youngest), so we get it every 4 years. Last year, I had my in-laws Christmas eve (31 people w/o the boy/girl friends) and my family Christmas Day (23 people w/o the boy/girl friends). I'm all set for 3 more years on his side, and next year on mine.Everyone brings something to eat, and it works out well. My mother-in-law misses it. She loves to cook and entertain. She's turning 86 in December (he's 86 already) and still has gatherings of the family (for no reason) up there. My mother misses it at well, but doesn't miss the mess afterwards. My husband and I would always be the last to leave, so we would clean it up for her. My sisters and their kids would just leave and not help out. The one Thanksgiving we didn't go to, they did the same and she had to do it alone. That was the last one at her house. Now my youngest sister does it at her's, and I have our kids and grandkids here. My mother goes to my sisters. We try to get together after eating, but it rarely works. I'm good with it. I remember when our kids were little we'd be dragging them to both houses on Thanksgiving (when my in-law still lived in their house here, before moving to their camp on the lake permanently). We had 4 kids. It was awful. I finally talked my mother into having Christmas on Christmas day because we could not do both Christmas Eve. I have our kids and grandkids Christmas the weekend before or the weekend after, so they can run between their in-laws and our sides, and don't have to worry about us. I remember how stressful it was at each holiday. I finally said we would do Thanksgiving with my family, and Easter with his. It just got to be to much. When our parents are gone, I am just having it with my kids and grandkids. If our families still want to get together, it will just have to be not on the holidays!
I went to the oncologist office for my chemo yesterday. My white cells were too low, so now I am scheduled on next Friday. This is number 3 for CMF. The PA told me after I asked if tumor markers were done since July. She looked it up, and last week, they did it. They went from 236 to 568. She was taking them again yesterday. She said they will be keeping an eye on it. Maybe it's not working for me. I have scans scheduled after chemo number 4 in November. I will be gone for 2 weeks in October, so I'm going to be 2 weeks behind on my chemo date. She always said no more than 2 weeks during treatment. She said they like 4 treatments, instead of the usual 3 with this chemo. We shall see. I'm not even going to worry about on vacation. I'll try not to think of cancer at all! (Yeah, right!).
Hugs and prayers to everyone!
Lynne
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Micmel, that is a funny photo. At first I couldn't figure it out but when I did I laughed out loud. I don't have any indoor pets, but yesterday my spoiled cat slipped in. We were busy so I ignored him for a little while and he was acting sweet. I had to put him out (allergies) but it was nice to have him nearby for a bit. We have two other cats but they are more stuck up, LOL. They don't try to come in but will appear at the door if they think it's time to be fed! Our poor old doggie is almost completely blind now. He can see in bright daylight, and he's still very happy and as playful as he can be. We do bring him in the basement to a cozy kennel if it's stormy or very cold. He prefers outdoors though and grumbles like Mutley from the cartoons.
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Lynne, 31 people?! Wow, I’ve only ever met 12 family members including aunts/uncles that I only met once. I don’t think I even know 31 people. I bet it’s kinda fun growing up with everyone though. I love the rotation by age method, seems fair and well organized.
Micmel, I’m ok with Kaycee winning (was rooting for Tyler too). I thought the engagement was ridiculous, strangers living together on a reality show for 23 days have no idea what they’re in for.
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Micmel, that is a hilarious picture!!!! Made me laugh too! Bet he was comfy lol!
Lynne, thank you so much!
On family... Oh my goodness!!! My mom was the youngest of nine. My Dad was the next to youngest of six. When we had Christmas at my aunt's house we could have easily have 50. Sometimes more. At one summer family picnic with my mom's family and all of her cousins and our cousins we had 197 of us!!!!! I really think that's o n e of the reasons I've had so much trouble adjusting to bring alone. I've never been alone there were so many of us!!!!
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It’s been way too quiet! I’ve had a great few days.Miss you guys...
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micmel, you doing ok?
Long day tomorrow, Brain MRI, labs, echocardiogram, cardiologist follow up, then pick up DH from the airport. Results on Wednesday.
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Prayers Mae!!!!!
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Thanks Gracie! Goodnight all 🙂
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Mae, praying for you to have easy day tomorrow! The day of the tests is nightmare for me. But we have to do it and at least will be over.
I couldn't sleep and decided to read all the posts I missed the last few days. MicMel, funny picture!!! It took me a while to figure it out which legs were those.....ha ha.
Lynne, I like how you try not to think of cancer when you are on vacantion. My time away from cancer is only when I am very busy. I am afraid to go on vacation, because I am not sure will I be able to leave my "bag" with thoughts at home. But definitely have to try.
Good night ladies! Elena
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Mae, I hope your long day goes smoothly. You are in my thoughts.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Good morning to all! I haven’t posted in a while, still in a major funk and don’t want to bring everyone down. Sometimes it’s all too much. Losing Patty is like a punch to my gut. I keep thinking about her boys and the last months of her life and how she struggled. In real life, my long time hairdresser of 20 plus years was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months back. It has now metastasized to her liver and brain. Watching her struggle to undergo treatment and still work is breaking my heart. Like I said, sometimes it’s just all too much. Follow up ct scan to recheck my kidney shows that it’s still swollen so a cystoscopy is in my future and I’m not looking forward to it but maybe we’ll get some answers.0
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Good morning
Off to radiation Dr. for a consult this morning.
Mae good luck on your tests today May God make it easy on you.
Lynwood 1960 I’m sorry you’re still in a funk. I know it Hangs over us like a cloud. so grateful to get a break from it ever.
Micmel where are you? Hope you are well.
Tanya
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illimae, sending good thoughts for your tests and for the rest of your long, busy day. Also, for Wednesday.
Lynwood, good to see you. Sorry you're still down, but I understand that. Hoping your kidney tests will get some answers that lead to successful treatment.
Good to see you Tanya. Glad to see everyone and I'm waving hello to all.
We're having a big time here today at the homestead. We have a professional tree crew here taking down some huge trees that have to go and they are way, way beyond what DH can handle with his chainsaw. Too close to the house for one thing. These guys are a joy to watch with their trucks, lifts, saws, a chipper, and so on.
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Getting worried about micmel. Please check insweet girl!
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I think Michel mentioned that she and her DH were going on a trip sometime this fall.??? Maybe now?? Not sure. Anyway, Micmel, chime in here, okay.
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Micmel, it’s not usual for you not to post for 2 days. I hope you are on a trip and enjoying the time
Love Elena
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Definitely not like Micmel to not check in! She is our fearless leader here, the “ mother” of our group. I hope she’s ok and checks in soon. She is definitely missed when she doesn’t check in!0
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thanks for the well wishes everyone 🙂
As for micmel, she was logged in yesterday, I suspect she is struggling with patty’s passing.
We get it and are here when your ready.
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Micmel, here for you if you need to talk! I know Patty's passing had to be very hard for you. I know I'm suffering from it too, but you were closer than I was. Sending you big hugs and much love.
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I hope all of you get good results from all your testing!
Lynnwood-Sorry you are still in your funk. Sorry about your hairdresser. I hate this disease!
Tanya-I hope your consult went well!
Mae-The 31 people is the current amount on my husband's side (brothers, sisters, parents, spouses, and kids). There are his parents, 4 kids, 13 grandkids, 3 great-grandkids, and spouses. When we were kids, we did the holidays with Mom's side (5 cousins on that side). Her 2 sisters and her switched off for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, until my mother just had Christmas Eve at our house. We'd visit my father's parents (he's one of 6 kids) on Christmas day, and would drop off presents for our cousins (14 on that side) and maybe see some if they were there at the same time. Always crazy around the holidays!
Micmel-Get on here and just say "hi".
This weekend, we spent our time driving around the state. Saturday, we took out the convertible, at 9am. We headed north to the mountains. Once we got off the highway, we put the top down (only in the 50s). Not much for foliage yet. We took the back roads back. Stopped at the in-laws on the way home. All of DH's siblings and spouses were there. That only happens at weddings and Christmas eve it seems. Even though we all live within a half hour of each other. He works with one of his brothers, but they are both on the road a lot of the time, and don't see each other all that much. It was nice (got home at 6). We all left at the same time. On Sunday, we hopped on the motorcycle around noon. We road around the neighboring towns for 2 hours. We saw more foliage there than up north. Watch the Patriots game (I had recorded so we can zip through the commercials) and they won!
Rainy cool day today, and the squirrels are in my feeders yet again. A lot of them have been killed on the roads here. Lots of acorns for them last year, not so much this year. I counted 13, last Thursday, on my way to the oncology office. It's only 7 miles from my house! Crazy!
Have a good day everyone!
Lynne
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Hi Ladies. I've been posting on liver mets. Go there to read my exciting news. I've got a super busy week and a sewing project to finish before Thursday.
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grannax, congrats on the modeling gig, sounds like fun. Oh and pics please 😀
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Lynnwwod, I am sorry you are going through a difficult time. I know you are thinking about your Dad and how much you miss him. It will get easier eventually, but that sense of loss never truly disappears. It is part of the love you have for him. I was hoping your kidney scans would show that a cystoscopy would be unnecessary. The procedure itself is pretty easy. Since you will be asleep, and it is relatively quick, you will spend more time in pre-op and recovery than in the OR. My experiences with stents varied with the length of time they were in. My first one was only needed for a week, and for me that was tolerable. I felt a bit of pressure in my bladder, but no real pain. I did have to urinate more frequently. The good news is that once the stent is removed, relief is immediate. I did have stents on other occasions, once for 2 1/2 month before kidney surgery and again for 7 weeks post surgery. I found the stents became increasingly irritating to my bladder and I was ready to full it out myself. I did not experience pain, just irritation. I was given medications each time in case I had pain or bladder spasms. I never had to take them. If you experience any problems, call your urologist's office and let them know. They should be able to help.
Lynne, it sounds like you had a good weekend. My DH and I went up to Bretton Woods today, and the color was starting to pop through once we went through Franconia Notch. Route 302 in that area is always beautiful in the fall. I will see you on Wednesday morning.
Muddling, Did the tree service finish removing the trees? It amazes me how well they are able to control the location of the fall of the branches and trees.
Tanya, How did your appointment go? Any new plans?
Micmel, I hope you are doing okay.
Hello to everyone. I will be taking my first dose of Xeloda tomorrow morning.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Hey 50’s good luck with your new treatment xlodea. My Dr appt was uneventful which is good. I do have a steroid shot to the spine next week and it’s considered outpatient surgery. Apparently I have to get pain under control before I could start PT
Waving at grannax Gracie Micmel Lynn and Lynwood muddling runor and everyone I’ve forgotten.
Tanya
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Grannax is Miss America y’all
Tanya
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