My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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the grinch is entering- I’ve been a Christmas grinch for many years. I be always had to do it all! The shopping for kids the wrapping,Santa, decorating and work split shifts day and night. I never really cared then for Christmas bc I was plain worn out and tired of it by the time it rolled around. I just still can not get into it even with the kids getting older.
I was supposed to have my ac #4 on Monday but I needed two bags of blood, my normal, and had low platelets. The platelets were not low enough to need them but the doctor wanted to make sure I go up on my own with them in time. He doesn’t want to compromise my bone marrow and I do agree. He had said we can then wait till after the holidays for the next ac and I said no, Christmas Eve will work. So I’m really not going to Be into it this year. The plus is numbers are going down bit goong down slowly. I feel my liver Mets are agressive and I want them dead! I’m on an ac mission.
Mae - have a great time. Lucky girl for sure. I have a bucket list that I’m getting nowhere on, lol.
Micmel- I took l lysine everyday for mouth sores with ibrance and Xeloda and didn’t have any issues. Taking it with ac still bit it isn’t working. Maybe it is and they could be worse but I don’t know how that could be.
Gracie- I almost feel ac is easier than that abraxane was on me, which is sad! Glad the break didn’t do any harm. The time off had to be nice and hard to start back on it but scary to born be on it.
Scwilly- glad for the turn of direction. It can be so depressing to see the bottom and still Leary when your on the top. This cancer wears us out physically and mentally.
I scan in about theee more weeks. Not really nervous bc I know liver will be a bit better and do think with numbers dropping slower it will just take some time. Any load out of my liver will be a darn good thing. It was getting to full.
Have a good day ladies and a better weekend!
Skitz
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skitz~Lets face it they all SUCK! They all have our body all crazy with our own cells fighting amongst each other that exhausts us to no end, I am convinced that no matter what treatment or sickness you have the body fights diseases the same. The sick feeling.... the flu like symptoms that are always with us. It's the bodies way of fighting things. If you ask anyone
Who has a chronic disease, the symptoms are all the same. It just sucks!!
My nephews father to be in law....passed away two nights ago from some strange blood cancer, and nothing I mean nothing touched it. They didn't even know what it was or even what to name it. He was diagnosed two months ago and now he's gone. They were planning the wedding for July and all the deposits and dresses and everything are set. She is 28.... the loss as they all are is palpable. And right before Christmas something always seems to happen. I really hate that.
Love you guys ! ~M~
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Micmel, such a hard time for the passing of a family member. Many tears and not just this year.
Skitzblitz, for decades Christmas was not a happy time for me. My parents divorced when I was in middle school and my 4 siblings different ages. Tension, back-and-forths our mother, then over to our father and the wicked stepmother. That led to me trying to make Christmas a happy time for my family but I think I overdid it and for years created more tension. Enough, as our kids arr young adults now and we are not always together, this year I have rented a townhouse for eight adults. Our three kids and their partners, one with a 9 yr. old son head up to a mountain a few hours away for four nights including Christmas Eve. I had my third paclitaxel yesterday and my next is not until January 3. Stockings and a one book wrapped Secret Santa or dirty Santa Exchange, some are calling it. Lots of food, Games, some skiing and boarding and I hope to snowshoe at least once.
I was up at five morning baking my grandmothers icebox cookies and have loved the silence as the sun comes up. I plan on nap once everyone else gets up. I have a last metatastic support group of the year this afternoon and really look forward to it.
Love to you all as we prepare or not for the upcoming days.
Marian
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Christmas is and always has been my very favorite time of year. It all started with my birth on Christmas Day......what more do I need to say? Yes, from day one I have been celebrated at Christmas time. From Santa cakes, Snowman cakes, reindeer cakes, wreath cakes, you name a Christmas theme cake I've had it. Yes, and as a result of my birthday, I have EVERY type of Christmas decorations you can imagine. It's like walking into Christmas Heaven to come to my house. My mother had a tradition of giving me my birthday gift at Thanksgiving. It was always unique Christmas decor. My favorite was a Christmas Purse. I still carry it the month of December and get compliments every year.
All of that to say, I did not get to decorate my house this year.😦 Not even a tree. This is a first I do not like and don't plan to repeat. But, it's not because of cancer! It's because of my kitchen remodel. What was I thinking? Plus, it's the slowest kitchen remodel in the history of kitchen remodels. That's because Javier has a full time job and can only come to my house on weekends. But, he is the best.. He has done all of the rooms in my house for two years. Plus he's very reasonable as far as cost, that's a must for a widow living on SS only.
When it's finished, I will post pics of my white kitchen ( as opposed to a white Christmas) with gold accents and farmhouse decor.🎄
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I'm pages behind, so I'll reply later.
I went to Boston this week. She suggested the same chemo as my local oncologist. She also wants me to have a biopsy of my liver (it's only in my bones an liver currently), so they can send it to a Genome place, to map out my tumor. I will need this for future clinical trials, so I guess I'll do it. They only biopsy I've had was for my breast. Which they numbed the area, and I felt the second core needle, it hurt really bad, she said I could skip the 3rd, but I said go ahead (it didn't hurt). They said they would give me an iv sedation. I know it's a smaller needle, but I'm sure much longer. They scheduled though, for the day before chemo. I'm waiting on the nurse to call me back, to see if it's ok to do it then. So I will be starting Gemzar on the 4th. After that one stops working, we will do the clinical trial called HER3, if I qualify. Only trouble is, I'd have to go to Boston for the treatments. All this time my husband has to take off from work for me. It stinks! The radiation I had on my spine and ribs a couple of weeks ago, has effected my swallowing (hurts). I have two rinses to use. Hope it helps soon. I really want to eat my birthday cake today, and Christimas eve/day food! Even water hurts!
I probably won't be on until later next week. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Here's our Christmas card this year. (My sister is in the back row second from right, she went to Disney with us, when Mom had to back out!).
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Lynne, Thank you for posting an update. Happy birthday!!! 🎉🎈🎁💝🎉 I do hope you are able to swallow some birthday cake without any pain. Have a wonderful Christmas and happy New Year. I love your Christmas card
I will post more later.
Hugs and prayers to everyone, Lynne
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Seems like everyone is having liver BX, Lynne. Mine is next week. They are sending mine to Caris this time. It's covered by insurance now, it did not used to be and was very expensive. I hope we all get news that will lead to more effective TX. Merry Christmas 🎄🎅💞
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Marian~He called me today and asked me how I was doing. My neice who is in the area to where he lives isn't really stepping up like she should. She doesn't work and does have a child. But he could nap there and already has a Ton of toys there already. There is no excuse. They even help her with her bills and rent for her apartment. She needs to step up. I want to shake her. If I wasn't sick I would take care of him. I feel a sense of guilt for that. Even though we've been estranged. the love a daughter has for her father never leaves her heart. I hope your ac is over soon real soon! I remember that. It was rough for sure!! I am thinking of you. Always so good to see you. Always.
Grannax~I do not have one decoration up. Nada. No tree nothing and tomorrow we are having dinner with my DHs side and nothin will be done. I need to even finish wrapping the gifts. I have maybe twenty more to wrap. I start. Then I have to take a break. I need another month really. Doesn't seem like that is happening. Uh no! It is because of cancer. For sure. And the decline of my father and my being faced with making peace with a relationship I had lost long ago. That's a drain in itself. I just don't have it in me. I really don't. I wish I did. I miss the powerful force I used to be. My nick name was Tank. Now it's more like sunk! I hope your BX is easy and they can reach it. Who needs more crap to deal with. Hugs to you our super star.
Tanya~ hi honey. 🤗. Hope you're well.
Lynne~(Man)I am so happy to see you here. I was of course a worried mama bear. Lol at that. We missed you our friend! Happy Birthday to you!!! So many December birthdays I see. Always love seeing you! The card is awesome. I can't even get a tree up. I hope you can eat whatever your little birthday heart wants. You deserve it...
MJH and all of her decorating already done and wonderful. Makes me look so lame!
Lynne(50's) Hello beauty. Hope you're feeling good for the holidays. Can't believe that it's already here.... but then it will be poof gone again. Busy times for my weak body!
Much love to you all!
Divine ~ you ok sweet friend? Haven't seen your shine here in a while.
Chicagoan~ you as well!
Blueshine? Wow been real long.
Thinking of you all.
Mae Happy anniversary!
Parry hello beautiful!
Minnie ~ my girl. 🌹
JKL. JFL. Runor 😊....Miss Bianca.... Chelle.❤️ ..Bigbhome.... egads..... GP...
Footprints Angel...
BooBoo!!!!! We will have lunch soon! Can't wait. It's long over due!
Gracie ~ hello sweet friend. 💙
Masons~ hello to you too!
Daywalker~~ long time no see.
Joyner~ thinking of you too
Holmes~ are you all finished and ready for the big day Christmas 🎄? Not ?
Scwilly~I hope you're more comfortable than you have been. I know it's been a rough go of it all.
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Uh-oh, roll call time, lol
Thanks for the well wishes. I'm just hanging around, prepping for the trip and dealing with a super annoying pinched nerve in my shoulder.
Thinking of you all 🙂
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Lmao@Mae. That is really funny. I can't help it. The holidays make me think and I have to include everyone I have to add someone. Daniel and Leslie. Thanks for jarring my Memory. I am hanging out too DH Is making fresh peach and cherry pies. The smells are amazing. My mouth is watering. With those smells. I want to eat it all myself. Enjoy your time sweet friend. 🌹. Much love ~M~
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We had our family Xmas dinner on Wednesday night at our new place. I ordered a terrific prime rib from the butcher and got the sides at Whole Foods. What a difference it made to not have all the pots and pans dirty and me exhausted from cooking. The roast was excellent, probably the most expensive roast i’ve Ever cooked amd the sides were good too.
I’ve been feeling exhausted with abdominal pain the past week.....grr, I have another UTI. Third one this year....seems like any bit of stress and not getting enough rest....yes doing too much looking after the grandson who I love dearly. Then on top of it all, the dentist today said I have an infection under a filling between the roots which means the tooth has to be pulled. I need a break from medical problems. So this weekend, I’m not doing much of anything..trying to recover enough to be ok for Xmas. Scares the hell out of me truthfully.
Micmel, you’ve had a lot on your plate. Be gentle with yourself. Those waiting for scans and biopsy’s, i’m In your pocket. Remember to breathe!
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Greetings of the season, ladies. Eight years ago today, I felt the lump in my breast and within weeks learned it was mbc. I don't like to call it an anniversary which to me sounds celebratory. But I mark this date as when I began dealing with mbc although how long it had already been metastatic, I'll never know. Was it Mae West who said, "Hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride!" Yes, that's one way to describe the past 8 years. So...time for a bit of reflection today and then...life moves forward....
It's been a hectic year filled with with good and un-good. I try to keep things simple around Christmas, but it's not easy! I get over-extended. Still, I try my best to work smarter and not harder when it comes to all the Christmas prep. I remind myself that it’s okay to do less. It’s okay to just do some. I'll make things nice, but I'm not responsible for making things perfect.
And dh and I had the nicest time yesterday wrapping gifts! We consult each other when we are stumped how to wrap something, what to wrap it in, what kind of bow, etc. It always goes smoother when we do this task together.
Even though I don't post often, I read this thread daily. I really appreciate the conversations we all have here and the camraderie. Merry Christmas.
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Pots~ I so agree that not enough rest is a BIG issue for me for sure. If I don't get enough sleep the. The night before by like 300 I am so far down with fatigue I cannot move... it's so annoying. Heat flashes at anything I do to move too much. It sucks!! I'm sorry your uti un welcomed friend has revisited. It's one thing after another after another after another !! Hugs sweet friend. Then to add the tooth my goodness. Ugh! Are you on XGeva? Or zometa for bones ! ? I worry myself about that! Merry Christmas friend.
Divine~ hello miss sweet Divine. How is your wonderful porch? I know it's cold. But yesterday it was literally 61 here. Now today it's 38!!! Yikes. I would have been on your porch with a book. And blankets! I am so glad to see you, I was worried about you. I had to laugh when Mae said ut oh roll call!! Just know when someone hasn't been around . Merry Christmas my sweet friend. Much love ~M~
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Sound off! Lol
Roll call indeed.
Had a rough week. Tuesday treatment and wbc was low so I got nupagen and had those side effects with the zometa and faslodex infusion shots and it’s the last week of ibrance. I decided to play superwoman and went to visit a friend, right after treatment, whose husband is at home/hospice with cancer. She needed some forms notarized and I know a notary but she is in her 70’s and didn’t feel comfortable driving herself to somewhere unfamiliar in the rain and dark. So I drove her. Came home and crashed hard.
Anyway my friends husband passed this morning.
They’re burying him in PA bc that’s where they’re from and he was a retired Police there etc.
Happy Holidays all and Merry Christmas
Tanya
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Hi Everyone
I am permanently behind here, trying to catch up with posts and failing badly. Last thing at night when I am too tired. We have been busy shopping for Christmas Day food. We were having a quiet dinner with 2 best friends, then our friends from Madrid said they were coming down for a few days. In Spain, families celebrate on night of 24th, so they were free on 25th, so invited them along, so now we are eight. Everything is planned I think. Not really worried as I know there will be plenty of willing helpers, and the Champagne is chilling!! Keeps my mind of the scan on 28th, eek.
My thoughts are with you all, and I wish each and everyone a Happy Christmas and a hopeful 2019, each year is an added bonus. I hope You all receive lovely presents, and lots of,hugs and kisses from loved ones. Mine will all be via FaceTime, or similar, but getting closer to seeing them all for real.
Merry Christmas, wherever You are xxx
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Minnie~lol at I am permanently behind. Aren't we all. We had a nice day yesterday.. second day without a nap for this woman. 😮. Amazing I know. Hold the applause, because today I am like rubber. Tired, sore. You name it. More wrapping today for sure.
I guess I didn't realize this thread does move faster than I thought. Love you ladies. Our team is winning ! Love you all.
Sheila? Parry...
lol Tanya at roll call indeed. I need to make sure my sweet sisters are all accounted for. It's sometbing I cannot help! ~M~
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......my dog ate my medicine. Lol I posted this on the dog thread. So I wanted to share. It was quite funny. Lol he's fine though. It was a very small brownie. And he's a big guy his weight was a help!
My dear Santa... I got into my
Mommy's medical marijuana brownies and now I really have the munchies bad. Thank. You Santa.
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OMG Tanya ~ I just re read your post. I am truly truly sorry that your friend has lost her husband. My goodness. I am truly sorry. I really hope somehow strength is given to their family through love and support. Hugs sweet sister.
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it’s on!
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omg I could never drink a drink That big ! You seriously aren't kidding. Lol. Happy anniversary Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary, Happy Anniversary! (Spoken Like bugs bunny)! Much love ~M~
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Next.... The crab cake is “market price”, no idea what it’s gonna cost but hot damn!, it was good. (with a bourbon and diet)
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I asked for “2” extra cherries! What!!!!
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Gasp! Crab cake is my very very favorite. Oh yes yes it is. Delicious. Enjoy the bourbon. What was in the super tall drink glass. ? That’s our correspondent Mae reporting in from
New Orleans Louisiana! Who hoo! hope the weather is fine !
Hugs ~M~
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Mae, I wish I could sit down to dinner with you and have you order the drinks! And then another round! Enjoy that fabulous trip!
Wishing all of you a peaceful and comfortable holiday and that 2019 will bring the miracles we all need.
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muddling ~ Hello darling. I can not believe it’s Christmas Eve already. Still lots to do. My back is not happy with me because I have been pushing it. My DH and my DS surprised me and put the tree up for me last night. I wasn’t going to do it this year. I had my little Charlie Brown tree up and that was ok. Now the time is to decorate it. Then it will come right back down! Time moves so swiftly!! Enjoy every second with your family
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Micmel, that picture is too funny!!!!!!
Mae, Happy Anniversary!!! Eat an extra crab cake for me!!!!!!
Tanya, I'm very sorry for your friends loss! That's very hard to go through!!!!
Grannax, Happy Birthday!!!!!!!
Muddlin, thank you and I wish you the same!
For those of you who celebrate, Merry Christmas! To those of you who dont, have a wonderful holiday!
May God bless us one and all!!!
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hello lovelies! Sorry I have been missing for such a long time but there has been an awful lot going on. I wanted to take the time to wish you all a Merry Christmas and to thank all of you for your support over this past year oh, it has meant the world to us.
I also want to thank a couple of the people here who have really helped me deal with some major issues of late. Unfortunately, now that DH is done dealing with all of his surgeries and Theorem applications we are finding more issues with him now from the accident. They are thinking that he has traumatic brain injury on top of the concussion. He has several appointments lined up after the first of the year as do I.
I have also been having difficult time living with the ramifications of my decision that I would accept no more future treatments besides the one that I am on. I had long ago said that I would never do IV chemo again and I stand by that decision. However, living with that decision turns out to be a whole nother ball game. I haven't had a rough time adjusting but thanks to my DH and to a couple of lovelies on here I am feeling much better and I'm out of my funk. As ice log forward in the New Year deciding which Healthcare System I will be joining, will it be Baptist MD Anderson or will it be St Vincents / Mayo. I had made the decision to join St Vincent's because of the seamless transition from Mayo however, my DH pointed out that with all of the travel that we are planning on doing Baptist MD Anderson might be a better idea because MD Anderson has been opening satellites all over the country. Since we are planning on traveling as much as we are that makes sense.
I have been trying to keep up with all of you but it is just overwhelming at this point. I miss all your lovely voices, I miss her support and I miss hearing how you all are doing and celebrating your good news with you and lending a sympathetic ear for your bad news and prayers. However, know that my prayers are everyday for each and everyone of you and that you are constantly in my thoughts and that will not change.
Hopefully in the new year I will be able to find more time to come back on and communicate better with all of you. There are a lot of major transitions going on currently in our lives and they seem to just becoming one right after the other with no time to breathe in between. I am going to hope and pray that 2019 is going to be a much better year for us! I am also learning to hold on to all of the positive things that have happened to us in this past year and stop focusing on all of the negative. I normally I'm pretty good about this but I have to admit oh, that it has all been just a little overwhelming toward the end of the year, what with losing Mayo, changing Healthcare Systems, putting our home for sale, moving, dealing with DHS issues and so on and so forth.
We are currently staying with our son and daughter-in-law and our grandkids for the holidays and having an absolutely wonderful time! I am hoping that all of you are getting to spend more time with your families and enjoying the holidays with them!
I love you all, and you are all constantly in my thoughts and prayers!
Claudia
a
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Bigbhome,
Merry Christmas! I think we are geographically close🤗. I go to Baptist MD Anderson. I just can’t say enough wonderful things about their doctors and their team approach! My nurse navigator is an angel.
Would love to talk to you. PM me if you want.
Have a peaceful Christmas!
Barbara
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Bigbhome~ 🤗🤗🤗Hello beautiful woman. I am really sorry to hear your DH is having more issues being revealed. Sounds like you are ready for this year to end and begin a new better year. I want that for is all. My father is. Dying and it’s just not something I have ever been through. Emotional times always around the holidays. You are always in my thoughts! Good to see you here as always!!
Bella~ hello beautiful... the best care is so important! Hope Bigbhome can find her team fast and soon. So she can relax a little. Always good to see you. Merry Christmas! Enjoy family time.
Gracie~Hi darling. We laughed so hard that night. He is fine thank goodness. But still he was a little spacey. They certainly do eat everything don’t they. Hugs to you sweet friend.
Hi Runor. Hioemtoure good honey !
Much love to all Merry Christmas ladies. 🎄🎁
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