My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Thank you for the pocket duty and chocolate Mel.
That picture is disgusting and that woman is disgusting too.
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Mara,
Will also report for pocket duty on Thursday. I hope NED is the outcome. I’ll bring toffee bars. They are a big hit in my family!
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Mara, I’ll be in your pocket too.
For anyone who read my post about going or not going to a weekend get together, we decided not to go. Easy enough and sensible.
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lol @ Mara’s response to pic
good morning ladies. Rosie. Glad you made your decision. Sensible is usually better.Hope everyone enjoys their day! It’s gonna be a warm one. Here!
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Mel that’s a good way to remind us to wash our hands and eyeballs. Moon the kitten does have big yellow eyes as you described. I’m on 39th cycle of ibrance. These last 3 months have been beating me down. My numbers are still the same for the most part but the cumulative beat down is taking a toll. Last month and this month I took two weeks between cycles. The month before that I did ten days between and then took ten pills and then 5 days off. Didn’t discuss with Dr. I’ve read of some doing this after being on ibrance for awhile. Also I take 100mg.
Mara I’m in your pocket Thursday. I love toffee and chocolate. I’ll bring a big hoagie. I need the beef.
Booboo thanks for offering to look for moon. She’s with us until June 18th I think.
Thank you everyone for kitty support.
Tany
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Hi all. I just posted on the Ibrance Thread. ANC at 1500 (1.5). Restarting Ibrance. The kicker, I have to repeat labs in 2 weeks. So who knows how low I will go in 2 weeks and what my MO will say. I don't understand why my MO is fretting about this now after 2 1/2 years on this med and low numbers all along. I want to continue Ibrance as it is keeping me stable and is relatively easy (compared to what the next treatment may be). And I don't want to have to take Zarxio every whipstitch. I wish she would just lay off and let me be.
Mel- Yuck to the pic. Wonder we all aren't all on deaths door with our cancer and having to deal with that when out in public--- Imagine the next customer to use that gas pump.
Rosie- Sorry you could not go, but better safe than sorry.
Tanya- I like your style. Do want you think and not ask MO. It is our bodies.
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I know the pic was nasty. That’s why I posted it. Reminds us to be clean clean clean. 🤢
Tanya~I totally agree with the cumulative toll Ibrance takes on us. Boy so much I do. I take one week on one week off. My fatigue got so bad. Mouth sores you name it. It is better but I’m always so tired. I sludge along each day, when I go to bed I think I maybe I’ll be of some use tomorrow. I never really am. Makes for long days. It’s like a form of torture. Lol at wash our eyes. Sowwwy!
Candy~ sorry for the pic! Lol0 -
Tanya, I definitely agree with doing what works best for your body. If you are stable and this amount is more manageable, I say go ahead. When it came to steroids for the times I had brain radiation, I started weaning off before the week was up. Did not want to stay on long. Was my choice and did not tell anyone.
Thanks everyone for being in my pocket for Thursday. I will eat all the toffee, chocolates and reese peanut butter cups we can eat.
Today is an at home day. It is nice outside but I am doing a combo of a little indoor walking, using Leslie Sansone today, washing all my bedding. Takes all day since only one blanket at a time fits in the washer and dryer. I am also doing a lot of surveys for cash and playing a game that pays you by the minute on my laptop. I am also listening to Cujo while doing the surveys and game on the computer.
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Candy~hope your MO problem has gotten easier. No one needs that stress.
Mara~I sat and thought today we’ve been in lockdown for three months now. I’m going bonkers I think! I truly think. Lol 🤪
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Mae~you ok in there?!
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Well shit, I killed my bigger spin dryer. No more blanket washing. Will have to steam the bedding with a clothing steamer instead and tumble dry to remove cat hair. Can spot clean if something stains. Stinks, but that is life sometimes. Worse happens all the time.
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Heard my name called. Dashing by to say hi to all. Have been busy doing...I can't remember. I can't remember anything! But it's something crazy every day. Lately was putting up a 40 mile electric fencer around 100 feet of chicken pen to keep the bear out. He keeps breaking in and soon I am going to be raising meat birds and it really frosts my knickers when I put the time and money into raising birds only to have a bear break in and eat them all. If Mr. Bruin puts his nose on that hot wire, I'll hear the bang all the way up here at the house. But it's better that he gets one hell of a shock and moves off rather than someone having to shoot him. We do not like to shoot wildlife but have a few times had to roll in a massive bear trap to take care of bears that make it dangerous to go do chores or work out in the garden. I hope the electric fence works. The dog this morning, who is usually right with me, stayed waaaay back from that fence as I did morning chores. He knows. He's had a run in or two with that fencer.
Hope everyone has good scans, does not lose more kittens or break washing machines, hope Mae can eat better and that we all get as much chocolate and other goodies as we need and that Mel likes her stretchy pants. Hugs to all!0 -
Runor,
On the “memory” subject, I can’t tell you how embarrassed I was yesterday at my OBGYN appt. This was my first visit to the practice and first time meeting this doctor. She asked me lots of questions, and I could only answer about half of them. When she asked me the name of my MO—I couldn’t remember her name. It took me a few minutes before I could recall, but I finally got it. The poor OBGYN doctor looked at me like I’m crazy. Okay, so I may not be the smartest tool in the toolbox, but chemo has seriously messed with me! Ugh!
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Mara~oh no!!! I know how much You use that. It’s always something. I’m sorry that. It broke and I hope you’re able to get a new one soon! What is all this money making money online talk? Never heard of that!? Sounds good to me. 😃0 -
I fill out surveys online and get money for paypal. The best part is they pay USD and helps pay for things. Not a job, but gives me some extra money. I do swagbucks, instagc.com etc. It is easy pennies and fills the time.
I am debating getting the spin dryer again. The tiny spinner on the actual washing machine stinks. I am just nervous of the other one dying too. I can still wash clothes, just cannot wash bedding. I bought a garment steamer and will use that for a while to clean my bedding. I still have the tumble dryer so I can dry things. Just cannot wash big blankets anymore. I will see. I have wigs coming that I charged and those must be paid for. Since I can wash and dry the basics and steam clean and toss bedding in the dryer to remove lint and cat fur, I don't need to put myself in more debt and not willing to pay that much right now. I may decide steaming the bedding, removing fur in the tumble dryer easier than the almost 8 hours it took to do my laundry. Would be quicker and I can spot treat if necessary.
Laurie, nothing worse than when you can't remember things you know are still in your head. You would also think medical professionals would understand that all of these drugs have an effect on our brains since it is probably noted you are dealing with cancer. I have that moment sometimes where I am thinking something to myself and then I can't always finish the thought until I give myself a mental kick. It would be quite funny to hear the internal dialogue I have with myself trying to get the thought out so I know what I want to do or say.
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Runor~Good to see you, but now I'm picturing bears running all around your property. Maybe Elmer Fudd (looney tunes) can help out with his newly given sickle , since they felt the need to take a hunters gun away in a cartoon. Like really!!? To me that's worse more morbid. Hacking something to death. Don't get it. I missed your clever posts and wanted to say hello and I adore you. Be safe please. Shock that sucker!
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BooBoo~ Honey~ I forget mid sentence. I am with you on the chemo brain. It's a real thing. Imagine what our bodies have been through. I know it happens to even my DH. He goes into a room and says why did I come in here? Also Being Put on the spot like that. Sometimes our brain freezes. I can't remember people's names I went to school with anymore. Don't be too hard on yourself. If that onc hasn't had that happen before, she my have been napping. Love ya precious!
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Hello friends! Hope everyone is doing okay? I have been laying low these days because I can stress me out quite a bit, but wanted to share that I was interviewed for this great service called Ciitizen - which is for cancer patients, that I use. Here is the link to the blogpost if you care to find out more:
https://www.ciitizen.com/patient-stories-brenda-le...
miss and love everyone!!!!!!!!!!!
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Philly~Look at you beautiful friend You look glowing. So pretty I'm going read the story but wanted to say how nice is was to see you. We worry about our peeps ya know But respect and understand stress and how we each handle our own. Mucho understand! Miss you though and still want to meet you in person one day in the middle !! Or If you visit your cousins. Let's make it happen Unless that stresses you out. Then I get it. Your call always ! Hugs to you!!
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Hugs and love right back atcha Micmel!!!
I miss everyone too!
I have to figure out how to manage my stress better...I can't focus on anything. I have been using a lot more medical marijuana which makes me more spacey and sleepy. I am not working and haven't since March 7th...so I feel really out of whack.
Hopefully these stressful feelings and anxiety will pass. Its like the whole world received a cancer diagnosis at once with this virus and everyone is in a fog and experiencing trauma.
The only hope I am feeling/seeing is the hopefulness that our Black and Brown brothers and sisters can finally take the weight off their shoulders to allow white folks to start sticking up and standing up for them and completely change our systemic racist society from the root.
Okay - off to try and exercise and eat. I will try and be more present!
Love you, love you Micmel and everyone!!!
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Quick update, I got randomized to the radiation arm of the trial, which I’m fine with. I should get a call soon about scheduling the first visit and plan. DH is heading to the cabin for a few days with a friend and I just got home from H&P and Xgeva, so I’m gonna chill today.
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Philly~ it's hard to relax in this climate. This virus is scary. You never know if you're going to get it I've still been staying in. Been seeing people without masks. I don't think I so Not yet. My doc said a year minimum for needing to have masks for safety. I guess this isn't Kansas anymore Dorothy!!! I hate it. I go batty. Serious boredom. That's also emotionally hard because then you think more. Just take one day at a time. ♥️🌹
Mae~Glad that you're ok with where they placed you in the trial. That's important. I hope it doesn't cause any discomfort for you at all. I'm glad you're able to chill. Xgeva always makes me feel like shit. At least for like 24 hours. I just don't feel good after. Just had mine last week Three more months. Then onc visit Then he'll schedule out 6 months scanning. Last time he scanned me at nine months. He said if that was still the five micro spots I have aRe the same. I could go out a year. Unless I felt the need. I am comfortable with this regimen. And I want to stay on it. I'm starting month 45 on ibrance. My onc said I'm his longest running stage four and NED patient. He was thrilled. I'm praying the spots are dead from all the chemo and I. Can cruise some years and years. I am thinking of you! Definitely enjoy your chill time !
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Philly- I posted to you on the Ibrance Thread. Sorry you are not working now--- COVID situation, I guess. Hope you can get back to it soon, as you said in the video that working helps your stress. You live on the East coast in a big city, so probably different from my area. Everyone is pretty much back to normal (not me, still hanging out at home) in my area. People seem done with COVID precautions and just want to live life like before. We have had some cases in my area, but nothing like the big cities are seeing.
Mae- Take it easy and glad you got the news about the trial ( I am unsure of all the trial verbiage though).
I am feeling kind of at a loss lately and today. I have worked since I was 15 years old. Now I don't work. I was volunteering with my church before COVID. But now, I resigned from the position. The church is opening back up and the church leaders are not too keen on observing all the precautions. I feel uncomfortable resuming normal activities with my health issues. So my days are long and boring. I feel useless. Today I ordered some groceries online, made out a bill to put in mailbox outside my house, and walked for 20 minutes on my treadmill. I watched some TV and read some. I just wander around my house with nothing to do. I cannot go out and shop to fill my time (COVID, and finances). I don't have anyone to call-- others have jobs and family responsibilities. I know I have posted about this before-- coming up with hobbies, etc. I just feel useless. Sorry. Just feeling down today.
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Candy ~You're so not NOT alone there. I do the same thing. I walk into a room hoping to find something to move or shift to Another place. I feel like a robot with my days. Sleep. Think about what to eat, sleep some More. Some days showers are in there. Which I hate because I get to see the mangled mess I'm left with carcass. I can't shop a lot either. I've been lucky my birthday made that possible for once. I had a generous friend buy me a new wardrobe. I just need to make sure I'll really wear the clothing. Not just have it in drawers. Which happens to me sometimes. Does this happen to anyone else? Your sureyou'll wear it But you freaking never do !!!! So think of me sitting on my bed thinking of what the hell im going to do. I missed my nap window. So I'm screwed now. Fatigue Evening/night ahead ! Ugh. I do it to myself. I shouldn't have taken my medicine. I should have napped Bad choice. But I'm so sick of feeling like this poor little sickie cancer girl has to take her lil nappypoo. Makes me furious. Never did like this time of day anyway. AlwayS drug for me. At least that has remained the same Nothing else has. For us.
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Mel- We can feel down together. I don't nap. I go to bed between 9-10pm and rise between 5:30-6am. I am then up for the day. I may dose off when reading during the day, but I hate to as it makes me feel worse. The fatigue is rough. Last night I was tired from 5pm on. But I force myself to stay up--- at least until the sun sets. Then I think " Another day gone". I do shower every day. I think I just want to have the routine- like when I was part of society and had a job. Up early, shower, dress (T-shirt and capris around the house).
You should wear the new clothes. Do it. I bought some new clothes this spring (remember the post about my ordering online for some clothes). I wear them when going to the lab or for my virtual doc visits. Whoopie. But hey, it is all I do anymore.
Today I walked on the treadmill and I am sitting here typing with my Left hip throbbing--started hurting on treadmill.
We are a couple of sad sacks. Sorry.
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Candy and Mel,
I think all of us experience this from time to time....especially if you no longer work. I used to have a job I loved but it was way too demanding so had to go on disability. But I so relate to the feelings of once being employed, intellectually engaged, and respected—and now what are we? Some days it seems like we are just existing.
Philly, I also relate to the depression and anxiety of spending too much time on blogs or anywhere that cancer is discussed. I love coming here to see how everyone is doing, but also see how a break is good. Take care of yourself. You are very special to us!
Mara, thank you for reminding me that I am amongst friends when it comes to the memory issue. The drugs are certainly necessary but sure can wreck your brain! Take care.
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Candy~A couple of sad sacks is better than one! I got my sweat pants today and I love them. I’m thrilled I chose correctly. It’s so hard for my paper doll pattern body to find anything that fits me. Some Skin there. But opooooppsss that skin was moved wayyyy over here ! Yup it’s living the dream ! I’d give you a hug if I could. If I didn’t nap. Someone may get hurt. I get grumpy. I hate the cancer head fatigue. Where you MUST sit immediately or else it will get ugly. I seriously have had times I have felt like I could have fallen. My balance is awful! This sad sack needs a new life !
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Thank you Booboo. YES. YES. Like I am just existing. I too had a career that I can no longer do. I am on SSD now too. Thank the Lord. But I miss the work--- intellectually engaged and respected and BUSY.
Mel- sweatpants for me in the winter (with a T-shirt still). Not in the summer. Love those hot flashes. And YES the cancer fatigue is horrid. Like every cell in my body is tired and if I don't lie down I will fall down.
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Just had to post this.... I was just on Facebook. Saw a post from a friend of mine about a large car show he goes to every year cancelling this years event. He is HOT!!! Comments about cancelling being "stupid" and "giving in to the fear". AAAAWWWW, so sorry. Not. This is one thing that has affected him during this whole COVID issue. He was not out of work, did not miss any pay, continued to eat at his favorite restaurants by doing drive thru ordering. I have not noticed much sacrifice from him as we all hunker down and live a new normal. I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. Something that is important to him is cancelled for this year. Too bad, so sad. I am just feeling this way today. Like someone else can be disappointed or upset for a change.
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I hear you candy. Several items on many bucketlists were cancelled this year and we’ve managed to accept it. He should consider how lucky he is and shut up.
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