My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mel, the masks are great. Wonderful job with them!
I did not go out today, decided to take it easy, just do surveys and basic housework. Ate lovely meals all day, and did some surveys for cash. Other than that, just watching at the TV. I will need to go out tomorrow morning as I need more chocolate milk and taco seasoning as well. Beans and queso were part of breakfast and lunch. I do add some of my normal cereal and bran sticks and mix wheat bran with the taco seasoning to make it go further. Supper I skipped the beans and had a heaping serving of baby spinach. I just freeze it and heat up in the microwave with some cheese on top, more cereal and the bran and of course queso. Dessert are a couple of mini cinnamon donuts instead of chocolate.
I will be careful in the heat for sure. I do ensure I am well hydrated with water before I leave and bring a bottle on the way back. I also have the UV umbrella as well to keep my head covered, though am looking into a bigger hat that would cover my neck as well. We'll see about that.
Mae the salad looks yummy and I am sure it will be yummy as leftovers too.
Rosie, I think overall I am more tolerant of the heat because there is no choice. If I do not expose myself to it, I would not be able to get to the hospital. I still have about 10 mins of walking to get to the bus stop and even if I wanted to, UBER is too cost prohibitive for me. I figure if I walk the short walks most days, I will be fine. If it is super bad or very high UV, will use the umbrella plus sunscreen. I used to wear socks in my walking shoes, but I have stopped doing that and I am wearing capris not my heavier denim leggings so that should help too. I was really only very sweaty. Yes it was an effort and I felt stressed, it was not so much the physical as mental. I just finally told myself I can do this. I think I said this quietly to myself the last little bit out loud. I did not care. After I cooled off, I felt fine and slept like a log that night. I will say I do not enjoy this heat, but want to survive in it as well.
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booboo I would love to get together. Just let me know!
Micmel you’re masks are great. I tried to crochet and did great until I tried to end the row.0 -
Rosie24— in your pocket for scans tomorrow.
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Rosie- In your pocket for scans tomorrow.
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Rosie, of course I will be in your pocket as well for scans tomorrow.
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Rosie, in your pocket for tomorrow, too.
Mara, congrats on your results! Awesome.
Mel, your masks do look nice. Good job!
Mae, glad you enjoyed some salad. Yum.
Dodgers, our bears are black. We do have bear-resistant trash cans, but keep them in the locked garage.
Just received my Xeloda package. After reading more about this drug & SEs, now I'm a bit worried to take it. Sounds awful. Ugh. And so it goes...
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Hello Ladies!!
I didn’t nap today so I’m a strung out sewing woman. My eyes feel like thimbles. I am loving it and am thankful for it. Thread gets everywhere, (I mean every where). I was taking a break and going to the bathroom and low and behold there is a freakin piece of thread in my undergarment. All In its glory, got rid of that and then found a sibling. It’s on the floor on the dogs paws. Mount thread more!! Fabric everywhere. We’ve touched down in Kansas. I have one more yard of fabric. If I don’t get more I’ll start to wig out. Someone asked me to buy one of them and my daughter got asked at work where she got it. So two requests for them! Long thread short threads threads threads every where..... I’ll get better with that. Phew hard work keeping the thread in messy. Snip snip cut snip. I can’t imagine a flannel shirt to
Make is be like dude you’re getting a vest!0 -
My model! For my mask.... she has such a small face. My girl. But even looks good in a mask Pretty color. I like this also. They are a challenge to make. You need to be perfect cutting the pattern. 0 -
moth~good news about shrinkage!
Dodgers girl~I am obsessed I’m dragging DH to the fabric store tomorrow again. He is thrilled for sure!
Bliss~hello and thanks. I’m doing my best on them. Hope you’re well. Omg the bear like wow Thank god you’re safe!.
Rosie~hi sweetheart In your pocket for sure!
Tanya~lines,patterns,thread. Oh my. Lines patterns and thread oh my! Crazy I can’t wait to start already. In the morning. I’m loving it. Have my orders filled already. Lol. I’m worried about your back pain. Those shots better work.
Good morning~ good evening. I’m off to bed. Hope we all sleep well!
Mae~yummy salad. I loooove chick peas. Delicious! Yum.
Mara~ too hot today to walk , good choice!
Candy ~hello my friend.
Philly~missing you
Maggie~hi ya! Minus~hi ya too!
Moomala~you doing ok? Runor~ hi dear friend !
Daniel and Leslie~just check in. ?0 -
Dodgers - ah yes, our ongoing housing saga. Well, after seeing a few other options in the area in our price range (or trying to get on viewing lists to see properties that went in the first one or two viewings) we realized pretty quick that while the temporary place wasn't quite the square footage we wanted, it was perfect for everything else, including set up for someone with mobility issues and not an existing rental so it hasn't been beat to hell. The landlord is coming by today to chat and I wanted to discuss changing out one or two pieces of furniture, but with a few very minor adjustments I think we can make this work for at least the next year. A good place to ride out the storm!
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SondraF— sounds like a good fit for now.
I still have a few boxes that have not been unpacked from my last move (over 20 years ago). I want to get to those boxes once Salvation Army reopens for donations. Just always seems something more important (or at least more fun) needs attention
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I am starting to lose it. In the house, day after day....just feeling blue. I know it will pass, but sometimes I think the world has spun upside down.
I have scans on Monday. This is really bad, but I don’t even care what happens. Since I’ve been off of treatment for the last 3 months, I expect to see some progression. But we’ll see. I don’t want to go back on Abraxane. Tired of having no hair. It’s just starting to grow back....thank goodness. It’s too hot to wear wigs, and even hats and head covers are miserable in this heat. Sorry for being Debbie-Downer, but I’m just so sick of being sick.
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Booboo- I am sorry you are blue right now. I totally get it. My friends do not understand why I am staying inside my house when others are getting back out--vacations, beaches, restaurants, etc. I am tired of explaining the immunocompromised situation and the concern with the COVID out there. I too am tired of being sick. Tired of the heat. Tired of the boredom.
Giving you a big hug from here. We will keep each other company in these tough times.
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Thank you Candy. I am not usually this depressed, but as you said, we have to stay away from everyone because of our situation. Some days I have to actually open the paper to see what day it is. I SO want to go back to my ladies bible study and to church. They opened up our church for 2 weeks, and then closed it again. I am not going anyway until there is a safe way to worship. Thanks for your support.
Edited to say big hugs right back atcha!
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Laurie, I hear you on the blue. I am also feeling that way today. What a shit show. Went to my local grocery store, could not find chocolate syrup. Asked the older fellow in the aisle where I could find it. Had to ask a couple times because the mask does not allow my voice to carry well. Understandable. He barked at me where it was, I looked where he told me but could not find it. I asked again saying I could not see it. He barked again and pointed. I picked it up and on my way out barked back at him that sometimes people just can't see where stuff is and not to be rude about it. I was further irritated because when I asked to speak to a supervisor, I was told I have to complain online. I did start crying out of anger and frustration over it all and because I am very sensitive. I did report the issue, talked to a friend about it and posted to facebook because I was irritated. This was not the worst part.
The worst part is my niece called my SIL who called me. She was worried about my behaviour in the store and the fact someone could have recorded me. She took my post to mean I screamed and yelled at the fellow and that police may have been called. So she took my frustration and blew it up into something that never happened. I don't like this on two fronts. One, my family that is left think I am incompetent and don't know how to behave, two, she will tell the story exaggerating me being snotty back to a guy that was snotty to me. I really don't know what to do with this and the obvious lack of confidence they have in my ability to look after myself and behave without having police called. I am very insulted and really stuck on how to handle the family. I am feeling hurt but not because of the store person, because of my own family reinforcing what they think of my attitude. Also, there will never be a time I can try to change their minds no matter what I say. I should also not have to justify getting snotty with someone who did the same. The other part is I resent the SIL calling me when I did not mention the incident to them. A post to facebook should not involve family second guessing how I behaved. Alas, I guess the most I will say next time I see people is that I have nothing to justify as far as being snotty back to a nasty person and I don't want to hear about the subject again. I will NEVER change the opinion they have of me, and though I think they love me, they have a skewed idea of my competency that I would never be able to prove. It would be an endless source of stress that I really don't want to deal with.
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Boo- I get it about church. Mine had drive-in services in June. I didn't go. Some were parking and then going to each others' cars and visiting. Not really distancing, in my book. Then in July we started indoor services again. I have a person that will go and report back to me. Singing service continues as before. Very few with masks. Handshaking and hugs all around. Pastor thinks COVID is being blown out of proportion by the news media. My church is small and all knows about my cancer, but I think they think I am being a hypochondriac about it all. I "look healthy". I report that the cancer is stable.
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mara- Wow! Family can really upset us, can't they. I have family issues too. I am sorry you had to have that experience. Hugs.
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Thanks Candy, I just resent that my facebook post spurred my SIL to think I screamed and yelled at him. Barking to me means having a snotty tone of voice, not screaming and yelling. Like I say above, I will never change their opinions of me, SIL has already created a narrative she believes happened. At my age, I am looking after myself, mostly alone, my apt has not burned down and bills are paid. I consider that a win. I will not stress to prove them wrong, would be endless arguing. Not going to mention this as stated above, but if someone does bring it up, I will simply say I have done nothing wrong and no longer want to hear about it. Won't bother to tell them they hurt my feelings and made me more angry and resentful.
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Mara,
For what it's worth, I think you reacted appropriately to the nasty guy in the market. I recently went into a market where I was trying to be very careful with distancing, etc. Two workers who were goofing around came up right next to me and stood there, looking at something on a phone. I asked them to please move. One said -- huh? Can I help you? in a really snotty tone. I shot back with Yes, you can observe appropriate distance from people who are trying to do the same for you. He was ticked and shot me a nasty look, as did his friend. When I left the market, I called the manager and related the incident. She was equally obnoxious and said "well, you can shop wherever you want." Haven't been back there bc I don't think that people should be so nasty when someone is simply asking something reasonable of them -- as with you.
There is no excuse for ignorance. Sorry that your SIL and niece got into this, but you were absolutely correct in what you did, from my perspective.
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Funny story, last night while heading upstairs to bed I heard DH stomp his feet behind me (he likes to chase me and grab my butt, lol and I scream and laugh), so I ran up but my pj’s are so lose from the weight loss, I ended up halfway up the stairs with my pants around my ankles! He said I ran right out of them and we had a good giggle.
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BooBoo1— I am sorry you are feeling down. I totally “get” it and imagine you are not alone.
I know CoVid19 is playing with my mental state. When I was first diagnosed metastatic last December, my MO suggested if I had any bucket list dreams that I should do them sooner rather than later. I had asked him if I could make a trip to the ocean. I so want to hear waves crashing and smell the salt in the air while sitting out on a balcony. He said yes and go now.
Of course I couldn’t go then because MO had me scheduled for so many MRIs, PET scan, CT scan, etc. January was filled with tests/scans and radiation. After radiation, I spent a week in the hospital due to SE from radiation.
By the time all of this initial testing and rads was completed CoVid19 was here and states were being closed down.
Just like many of you, my days are filled with being home where every day seems like the last. As the days fall off the calendar, my hopes of making to the beach seem more unlikely.
Sometimes I feel like I am just waiting for my turn to die. So I work hard at finding tasks I want to get done at home and work on them in small bites. I can start to see results and that seems to lift my spirits.
The down feelings clear away. I know they will return but right now I am working on planning a different trip as CoVid is keeping me away from the beach. Sometimes the planning of a trip can.be just as exciting as going on the trip. Being retired, my only need is to see MO monthly so am thinking of traveling in a circle pattern from my home so I would not be more than a day away from home meaning I could be on the road for months, if desired. Ha ha ha. I don’t even know if my bone mets would let eve sit in a car for 10 hours but I am goIng to start dreaming
I hope you find something that sparks your soul and lifts you out of your funk.
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Moth— congrats on such good results from your scans.
Happy dancing for you
Woot Woot!!!!
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Moth great news for sure on your scans, your hard work is paying off.
Mae, that story with your pajama pants is great.
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Mara,
I am so sorry about your experience. It's bad enough what we have to endure, and then to have to deal with rude people? No way. I am upset for you about the experience with your family too. I am in the exact same boat. My family thinks I am unstable. Yes, some days I am, but I don't need a pitty party, and I agree fully with Bevjen that you did what any of us would have done. That butthead is lucky it wasn't me he was barking at. I have no time for rudeness. Stand strong, my girl, and know that you are supported and that, as you said, you did nothing wrong.
Mae, you and your DH are so cute. Had a good laugh thinking about you losing your PJs
Dodgers, I don't know where you live, but I'd be happy to show you some beautiful beaches if you ever find yourself in FL!
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Booboo—. Florida has so many beautiful beaches. Hope to get there in the winter when the daily temps aren’t so hot. I don’t handle the heat very well since chemo.
Look for a PM if I get to Florida. Thanks!!
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Dodgers,
I live in Tarpon Springs, which is about 1/2 hour from Tampa, and only 20 mins. from one of the best beaches in the world—literally! Clearwater Beach has been voted best beach in the US many times, and has also made the lists of some of the best world beaches. So if you find yourself ever in this area, I’d love to meet you and enjoy some beach time together. Us girls have got to stick together!
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😊 Thanks to all for the pocket duty for my scans today. I’ll be calling my MO’s office for results tomorrow afternoon in case I can get some info before the weekend. Maybe, maybe not. 🤞
Booboo, the down feeling is not surprising when you mention all that’s on your mind. It’s not like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for us, it’s just a tunnel, with some (or a lot of) bright spots if we’re lucky I hope you’ll have some happier days soon. The heat keeping a lot of us inside and the virus keeping a lot of us home is no help either. I bet Clearwater Beach is the place to be in 70-80 degree weather! I hope your down days don’t last too long.
Mara, Your store experience was crappy. I think you handled it just fine. The store manager was lousy at customer service. As for your SIL, I’m sad that she didn’t take your side. You seem very reasonable and level headed to me. But that doesn’t mean when treated rudely you should just accept it. I wouldn’t either.
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I have been away from the site for a bit so am completely out of the loop. A LOT happens on this thread in just a few days! Heavy traffic in Mel's living room.
Nice masks, Mel! I have made several, tried different patterns and methods and tie materials and configurations. I like the fitted ones like you are making but found if I used a very high thread count fabric as the liner (like a 400 thread count cotton sheet) they were impossible to breathe through. The fabric would press against the nose and mouth with the force of inhaling and make people freak out thinking they were being smothered. Because that's how it felt! I quit using that high thread count cotton as the liner and went to regular quilt cotton. You can breateh through it way easier. I also saw a video where someone inserts a chunk of heavy zip tie in the front curve of the mask, thus giving it a more rigid structure, holding it away from the nose and mouth so that smothering feeling isn't there. I find sewing a pocket and inserting a nose wire (which I do on all my masks) is fiddly enough. Sewing another pocket in the opposite direction to hold a piece of zip tie...too much work!
Hi to all.0 -
BooBoo1- I have been to the Tampa area twice but never made it to the beach. Will definitely let you know if I get that far from home
Have been to the beaches is the panhandle, Daytona Beach, Ft Lauderdale, and the Keys. Most of my Florida trips involve the mouse...not sure I have another Disney trip in me though
THANK You for your kindness.
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