My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Thank you, everybody. I appreciate the love I feel. I’ll let you know when I know more.
It’s got to be something genetic, but we’ll never know what.
Thank you as well, Mods. Much appreciated.
Tanya, I’m so sorry it was so rough for you. Hoping for good results.
Moth, so sorry you hurt yourself. That sounds so painful.
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KBL, I too am sorry to hear about your second brother with possible cancer, and coming so close to your other brother’s bad news. That’s a lot to absorb in a short time. Hoping your recent brother’s biopsy is benign. My dad had breast cancer in his 80s (he lived to 94) and the genetic counselor I met with felt sure there would be some kind of flag in my results, but there was nothing.
Moth, bummer on your pulled muscles. Do you have to have your arms over your head for radiation?
Tanya, 🤞for nothing new in your mri!
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It's super late but once again , find myself bolt up awake. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for anyone who is in pain, or waiting for results. I'm sorry for those who are down who may be reading and not posting. I realized today, since diagnosis I haven't had many happy, genuinely happy days. I realize everything is a battle. Simple things , once easy, has become pointless and irritating. Feelings are funny things and when you're battling the same beast, together, but it's in your body, they insist they have cancer too. I realize the families suffer also, but at the end of the day. I AM the one who has cancer. If I bring up my cancer at all , it's like ehhhhh yeah yeah, we know you have cancer. Blah. Blah blah. Like I'm supposed to just smile, not point out things , and just be a good cancer girl and eat my veggies. Like I am magically supposed to be over getting it and not bring it up because it makes someone who's tired of hearing about cancer annoyed? . Well guess what family. I AM tired of having it. At least you only get to talk about it. You can think of a future of growing older. You can allow yourself to say things like “ when I retire “. Well I may retire from living , and not by my hand or choice. So give us ladies an effin break and just let us be who we HAVE to be. Because now, we have no choices.
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Micmel, I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I'm giving you a hug. My husband's sister calls me multiple times a week to see how I'm doing. Their mom died of lung cancer, so she understands. I feel her support. When I do mention I probably won't be here for this or that, she tries to be positive and say I will. I don't fault her for that. I think what it is is when you talk death, they don't want to hear it because it means life without you. We also look normal, so they don't get it. I never understood cancer until it hit me.
It's oddly weird that I feel bad for my brothers but don't feel so alone in this battle any more. When you're the only one in the family, it's odd.
I hope you know how supported you are here and it gives you some comfort to have us to give you a virtual hug since we can't see you in person.
Rosie, thank you. I’m sorry about your dad, but I’m so glad he was able to live another 14 years after diagnosis. Cancer is baffling.0 -
Morning ladies! Our German friend dropped off some homemade cookies this morning that his wife made, I don’t remember the name but they’re so good, yay to cookies for breakfast, lol
Now that I’ve been eating for a while and I’ve had all the delicious junk food I could eat, I’m getting back to healthy foods. I’m not gaining weight back, in fact for the first time in 20 years, I weigh less than the hubs and friends we had at the cabin for thanksgiving, weird being the thinnest in the room. But, good nutrition is what I’m craving now.
Also, I had my hair chopped off for hat/hood season at the cabin, I’ve always been a short hair girl but not usually this short.
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I think you look awesome. You have beautiful eyes Mae. The hair cut suits you for sure beauty!
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I love it too. Mine is short too, but I wish I could wear it that short. That would be perfect. I wear a headband most days anyway.
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Thanks ladies. I had some crazy morning hair lately and since I tuck it behind my ears anyway, I figured I’d make things easier.
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Mae, You do look beautiful. Your hair looks great, and thatlipstick just brings everything together. Stunning!
KBL, I am sorry that your family has so much happening, especially so much at once. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Mel, I wish I could bring out that magic wand to make things better for you. I hope that you can take some comfort and joy by seeing how much you have helped people here on your thread. It is something to be proud of. You are also spreading happiness with all the masks you have given as gifts. You cannot control the actions and words of those around you. I have often noticed that people are hardest and meanest to those they love. I believe that it is not intentional. Much of what is said and done is just letting off steam and taking loved ones for granted. Why? My theory is that we know our loved ones will love us in spite of our bad behavior. Strangers will strike back and reject us, but those closest to us, those who love us the most, will still stand by us. That is not to say that you should just sit there and take it, of course. Your feelings matter, and it is important for you to let them know how their words and actions hurt you. I know you feel that you are not the person you were pre-cancer. None of us knew that person. We only know who you are now, and I think people here believe that you are pretty darn great.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Mae - BEAUTIFUL pic of you. Are you of Irish descent?
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Mae..Beautiful photo of you.
P.S. I ordered those shoes that you had mentioned. Really like them.
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Mae- Great pic !!! Your eyes are so pretty.
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Goldens, I'm Hungarian on my fathers side and French, German and Scottish on my mothers but I married an Irish man, got the “O' “ name too
I was always blonde but my hair came back with some red tint after chemo.Sandibeach, great, glad you like them too.
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Mae, great look!
I thought I was going to have short hair again as it was starting to grow back on taxol but since that 1st dose of abraxane in Nov it seems to be starting to fall out again. Probably just as well as it was really thin and scraggly. I think at this point for me bald is actually better. But I've been cold & even tried on one of my wigs yesterday as they do keep you cozy. But man, I remembered suddenly how itchy they get lol and I yanked it off. I might try again though.
Had my first radiaiton treatment, fasting bloodwork and an EKG this morning. Came home for a bit & will have to go back for an appt with the MO later but I'd rather be at home than waiting around there.
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Lynne ~50's thankyou for your sweet words and kindness, I often find myself thinking of you as I work with your. Fabric. I still have a good amount left. Used a good amount as well too. I appreciate what you said , especially coming from someone as wonderful and well thought of as you. You have made quite the impact with me. I hope you know how much I care for you.
Santabarbarian~I wanted again, to say thank you for what you did for me. That week was especially bad and your special gift made it possible or for me to get through the week. Words cannot express enough what that felt like and what it meant to me. You made a difference to me and I needed to tell you that. It was so special to receive a care package. That's never happened to me before. So thank you from my heart. I am thankful for you. Both.
I'm thankful for all my sisters. they just handed down more restrictions for Pa starting tomorrow night until January 4th. It's starting all over again. Running through Christmas. Which sucks for all our families.... this year has blown the big one!!!! Please pluease. Let 2021 be the best year in a while.
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Illimae, great picture!
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Sending an extra hug for KBL and Mel.
Moth, have you researched the different kinds of wig caps? From one web site: “A double monofilament has an extra layer of soft material for added comfort” and “100% hand-tied The softest and most comfortable cap, it's ideal for a sensitive scalp & hair loss”
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50sgirl and Shetland Pony, thank you so much. I appreciate you.
My ex, and I do mean ex, sister-in-law of a brother I haven’t spoken to in 11 years, since my mom passed (long story I won’t bore you with) went on Facebook today and asked a cousin of ours if she had heard the update on. my brother who was just diagnosed. Mind you, he’s not on Facebook. I was so pissed she would say something on Facebook. I believe she probably messaged her because she didn’t actually say anything after that. I just can’t believe her. My brother’s privacy is needed. If he wanted to tell that cousin, he would have done it.
I’ve not shared with anyone on Facebook my diagnosis. I have a blog that I let the people I want to let know how I’m doing. I don’t want anyone else to know. She better not blab to my cousins about me or she’s going to get a nice little message from me.
This ex is supposedly a counselor, and she should have known better. Unreal. I didn’t write her because I no longer comment on Facebook.
She’s also not a friend of mine there, but my cousin is. So everyone who is a friend of my cousin who doesn’t know my family from Adam could see it. Just plain rude!!
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KBL, I’m sorry to hear about the ex SIL, I really hope she keeps her mouth shut. My aunt was asking for prayers for my “stage 4 bone cancer” (bc with bone met) on FB before I announced it, I was outraged and DH tore her a new one, lol
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busy bodies. Don’t have time for them. I’m sorry KBL that that happened. A nice swift kick to the shin perhaps?
Mae~What a crappy thing to do. I mean it’s not about your aunt. It’s about you. Not to mention. Not even accurate.. ugh! People just keep yer pie hole closed.
Was asleep my eyes snapped open..... hope I can fall back asleep.........
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KBL - your ex-SIL was thoughtless and rude. I'd say what are people thinking when they do something like that, but they just aren't thinking at all. smh When I told my sibs, I was very specific that I was not sharing this news yet, and DEFINITELY NOT on FB. I guess I was adamant enough about privacy, because one emailed me to ask if was ok to tell their (adult) kids. In said yes, and reiterated no FB. I still figure it's only a matter of time; some people had to know; people talk; someone will not think.
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I am glad you liked my care package-- it was a pleasure to send it.
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Tanya- Any news on your MRI?
Mara- Any results yet for you?
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Candy, I will be getting a call if nothing is wrong by next week I believe. My RO will call if nothing is wrong to confirm results. I confess I have forgotten the date. It has been a week now and nothing and I know they would not leave me that long without an app't but once I do get confirmation, I will let everyone know.
I also hope things are going better for you as well and any tests you may have had. I think of you often.
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Thank you all. People are so dumb sometimes. If I wanted things to be known and shown for anyone to see, how about I do it myself.
Mae, that is just ridiculous. I can’t imagine how upsetting that was.
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reporting for any needed pocket duty. Always ready with snacks and drinks. (Didn't say what kind of drinks) lol drink 🍹
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Yeah, my aunt is a religion junky, freebasing prayers, lol. It’s attention seeking behavior masked as concern in her case.
This week I was finally able to graduate to avocado toast (the eggs and toast had been difficult to swallow until recently). Yay to breakfast!
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Mae~I'm so glad you're enjoying your food again.... that looks delicious, and now I'm hungry. Lol.
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Mara- I hope all is well. I wish I could be like you and forget the date. LOL. I have to say I am worried. I have my scans in 10 days, see, I am counting down. Last time there was question if I am having progression (on the MRI) so this one is important. Also, with the recent weight loss and some nausea, and that I am on cycle 36 of Ibrance (and each cycle from now on is past the median time that it works) I am worried. 3 years and counting and on first line therapy. I am pushing the limit.
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