My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Thinking of you candy. And your sister.
My best friend had her sons graduation party today and it was a magnificent day outside for weather. Perfect. DH and I were invited and I didn't want to go. He kept poking me and poking me to. Go. She's your best friend. Come on you'll feel badly if you don't go and he will never graduate high school again and you're going to be able to be with her. You're not missing this. He was right I'm glad I went. I love my friend and her husband and their kids. My second oldest friend was also there and it was a while since I've seen her. She had her daughter there and I adore her too. Beautiful 18 year old her whole life ahead. it was a nice day all around , met some very nice people talked about covid and how boggled everyone is about it. My DH got word he had to return to the ifficdwhich may mean I'll be all alone again. During the day and if my son moves out. Then I'll be screwed. It's always something. My DH is going to try to work out a hybrid schedule. I pray he's alllowed. Or I'm in trouble. It is certainly always something.
My toe has been a bear but I'm ignoring it so I could go to the party. I guess the doc would not call that staying off of my foot. Uh nope. But each day it will feel better.
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Candy, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. My thoughts are with you both.
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Mel,
I can’t tell you how often I do the same thing—fight to stay on my chair. It is so easy to just stay put and let MBC dictate your life. But when you make the effort and say “screw you” to our disease, and get up and out, it’s a much better outcome. I have gotten way too comfortable sitting on my chair, and I am still trying to kick the urge to do everything while sitting. When I isolate too long, depression sets in. So we need to push ourselves to mov. Easier said than done, but at least I recognize the problem. Now pushing myself to get up and move is the challenge.
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Thanks to all of you.
Chicagoan- It is the sister that lives with my father.
I am just overwhelmed. I know I need to not let my own care suffer, but I just do not know how I am going to do all this. I want to hear my liver options- RO and surgeon, but I cannot have any big procedure right now. I just feel overwhelmed.
I do not have a "pocket duty" list for this week. I cannot keep up.
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Candy,
Don't worry about the pocket duty list. Right now, it's more important for you to take care of you….make a list, and do one thing at a time. That is how I tackle the many things that need to get done. Reach out to some of your church friends and ask for help if you need it.
I am available anytime to pray with you, or simply to lend an ear. We've got you, girl.
Love and big hugs,
Laurie
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Candy, I'm thinking of you today. I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. That's a hard place to be. I know it doesn't fix it, but I hope it helps to know that you have people here who care.
Carol
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Thank you Booboo. Please pray. I am a list maker-- as you can tell from the "pocket duty" list. I have made a list for this upcoming week on what needs done. I need that list. I find myself going into a room and thinking "what did I come in here for". I feel scattered and overwhelmed. I have my weekly stuff, and now my sisters stuff. And I have to order a hospital bed, move furnature to accommodate, schedule doc appts for her, fill a mediplanner, etc etc. I am hobbling around with my hip and back. I need to go see the doctor about my hip--- not getting better with the PT exercises. There is no one to help. People mean well, but make themselves scarce.
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Candy sorry to hear what you’re going through. It sounds so overwhelming and yet you are muscling right through it! Prayers good vibes and hugs 🫂.
Mel that sounds like a wonderful outing I’m glad it went so well for you. The toe will heal, you usually listen to the doctor so this one time your husband made you do it.
Have a good sunday
Tanya
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Candy,
Could your texting friend and/or Brother in law take care of moving the furniture around? I hate to see you trying to do that with your sore hip and back. If you give them one specific task, they may come through. I would also hope that your other sister would start offering to help.
As far as the other things, you will be fine with your great organizational skills. Just keep breathing and do the next thing. This may be a marathon so pace yourself-rest and take care of your own health, while you help your sister get to appointments. With your sister's special needs, there may be more help available through the American Cancer Society, or hospital social workers.
I am praying for you both. May God give you strength. May your sister feel well loved by your tender care.
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Candy, still thinking of you and your sister and all you are dealing. Love coming your way from me.
Well, had a lovely 9km or 5.60 miles roundtrip walk to my burger joint for lunch. I ate inside so it let me have a rest between each walk. I walk steady so it probably took me over an hour each way. This walk was planned and prepared for. Drank lots of water and had a small breakfast of beans, cheese and vegan ground. Ate a few nuts as I was heading out the door and walked. My lunch was just my usual but the nice part is I would have burned off any carbs and sugars from lunch on the way home. Felt really good after spending Saturday at home with my sick cat (who is feeling better today). 14000 steps in one trip.
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Candy, Booboo asked if members of your church could help. That sounds like a good idea. What about your sister? Is she an active member of a church? If she is, some of the partitioners there might be willing to help. Can a visiting nurses’ organization give some assistance? Insurance might cover some visits. Have you or your sister talked to a social worker at the hospital? That could be a could place to ask about resources available. The social worker is there to offer assistance to patients, particularly prior to discharge. It doesn’t hurt to ask. The situation you are in would be overwhelming to most people. I know you are worried about undergoing surgery or Y-90 right now. If necessary, you can delay those treatments, but you and you MO must get another plan into place to make sure your health is not jeopardized. I know that you are putting your sister’s needs before yours right now, but if you don’t take care of yourself, you will be unable to help your sister. I continue to pray for both of you. We are here for you. I wish we were close enough to help you out. Please take care of yourself.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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I agree totally with 50s girl. At different times, whether it was for just me or also my mother for the time we had cancer together, we started with a social worker who was the conduit to putting me through to the services needed. Especially for my mom and for me as I started talking to a social worker after she died I am sure you have thought of this but from personal experience, you need to ask everyone you know for help and anyone she knows to so you can be strong for yourself but also her. Still sending my love and support to you both.
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Thank you ladies. Good ideas. Not to throw anyone under the bus, but my other family members know of the situation, but they chose to respond how they are responding. I am planning on asking my sisters MO (ironically my old MO--my sister cannot travel to cancer care like I do) what resources there are around here (rural). We shall see. Until then, I am in "emergency mode" for lack of a better term. "Just keep breathing and do the next thing" as Chicagoan put it. But I can tell after being at the hospital all week with my sister and now home but running around for her care I am wearing down fast.
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Well hopefully some services will get opened up for your sister soon. You will wear down sooner due to your own illness and pain you deal with. It was exactly the same for me when my mom's health was declining which really was over about 18 months. She drove until sept of 2018 but I did all the shopping and carrying in of groceries, housework etc and my energy was not the best at that time as cleaning 3 storeys was a huge difference from my wee apartment now. When she got cancer dx in nov 2018, we had more service people coming through than you could believe.
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Candy, I am sorry about your sister's dx and more that you are the one having to pick up all the pieces. As others have said, it's imperative that you also prioritize your own health. All I can suggest is - for the long list of things you are doing, what would happen if you were not there to do them? - community services, family, church? You can, and should, say no before you end up in the hospital yourself. Love and hugs for you.
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Candy, sorry to read the news of your sister. That's going to be hard for you and your family. Best wishes for all of you to find the magic balance of caring for self and caring for others. It's a lot to take on
Mel - glad you got out to the party.
Not much new here. It's a long weekend for us, has cooled a bit and the smoke from the inland fires is not too bad on the coast right now so I'm going to putter around outside with Olive.
hugs everyone
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Not sure if you saw Runor's post on the death and dying thread, but Jaycee49 passed awayon July 30, 2021. May she Rest In Peace.
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Back in urgent care today - so damn sick. Guess who has COVID -.hubs too🙄. My WBC was 1.0 and my ANC was .5. Sent to ER to plan treatment. Now hospitalized to receive antibiotics and monitoring of low numbers. Both of us are vaccinated and have no idea where it came from. Be safe out there friends
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Oh, booboo, I'm so sorry to hear about Jaycee! I just looked her up today, and I thought she was "active" today, but maybe that was her husband. Jaycee, may you truly rest in peace. I hate this disease!
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Golden - So sorry you and DH are sick and in the hospital. Get well soon!
RIP Jaycee!
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Bless Jaycee. Another one of us gone. Damn this disease.
Goldens- Oh my. Keep us updated when you can.
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So much going. On. First. Thing. Jaycee💔 that woman was a forcc to be reckoned with. I am saddened to think another has been taken from this awful disease. I hope her family is doing the best they can. I'll be thinking about them all.
Hospital stays. Covid. My goodness why do we even bother trying. We fight so hard to get knocked down. I hope you feel better and I'm sending good thoughts and vibes to anyone who needs them.
Candy~ thinking of you and your sis too.
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So sad to hear about Jaycee, she only recently finished whole brain radiation and I just thought there was more time.
Goldens, I wish you and DH well with a full and fast recovery.
DH and I spent the weekend with our friends in Louisiana and had a nice time until Sunday in full hangover mode, then with my Herceptin today, I’m exhausted by to two. Here’s a pic from Saturday before the margarita’s got me.
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camper looks awesome. Pool shot also awesome. Two nice things you do on your back lol. Sorry bout the hangover. I don’t know how you do it. You are a trip… so much fun.
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Mae - your trip looks fun. Sorry about the hangover.
Candy - sorry if it sounded like I was saying you shouldn't help your sister; I'm not. Just saying maybe you can't do it all. Thinking good thoughts for you.
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Wow, I have missed a lot here. I have been overwhelmed by work. KittyKat! Such great news! Candy praying for you, and everyone here. You are dealing with so much. I support the ideas of having social work or church family help. I worry about you taking on your sister's care in addition to your own. Mel I'm glad the toe is doing better. Mae not gonna lie, that pool looks amazing! Mara congratulations on your anniversary. Goldens hope you heal quickly. This Covid variant is not to be messed with. We have an outbreak here and it's bad.
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Goldens, I could be worth asking about monoclonal antibody treatment. It depends on when you started showing symptoms, but if you’re in the window it can really help kick i
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Emac, we have not fully broken out but it will be coming for unvaccinated school kids. We need to get those groups vaccinated to avoid have young people in the hospital which our disease experts are suggesting will happen. My feeling is that anyone who is unvaccinated will be screwed with this delta variant that is going around here. I really don't want to see borders open for non essential business until the pandemic is gone since it is fairly easy to buy the vaccine passport to cross borders. I don't mind places being open so long as masking rules stay in place to minimize spread. I am grateful to be fully vaccinated so if I get it, I most likely will not be gravely ill.
Yesterday was a tough day for me, a family friend who I have known since I was a kid is in palliative care, his pacemaker turned off and pain meds turned up. He'd been dealing with a bad heart for a long time, was very overweight and not particularly mobile. Add to that, alcohol which ruined is pancreas left him at this point. I think he was done living this way which I can totally empathize with. His sister has been looking after him all these years. I am thinking of the both of them and just remembering how little I have really had to worry about. Puts me in perspective when hearing what other people are dealing with, even here with Candy, Jaycee, Laurie and others.
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Ladies~Ive gone and done it. I took a shower. It's amazing. It's this little space that shoots water and you and you use soap and stuff . I was being super lazy about it. I admit it. I don't really go anywhere. But it's a miracle.
im thinking about everyone, hospital, families anyone who needs a hug. I hope you have a better day today.My toe feels funky. Sleeping is a challenge, you move your body with your feet at night ,,when you roll over. Ouch. But it will heal. Philly checked in on the death and dying thread for Jaycee, but she’s dealing with a lot also. Just nice to see her. Name, but the reason sucks.
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