My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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since covid hit. Things got even shittier. Diagnosis is when things really turned terrible. I’m sorry jhl. You’re not alone in some misery I promise you that. I’m sending you hugs.
Welcome back SeeQ! Gm Mara and Candy
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jhl, I'm so sorry for all of your grief lately. Grief in single doses can be numbing. When it comes in waves, it can be even more overwhelming. I wish peace and comfort for you.
mara, do you have the option of getting groceries delivered? I'm thinking specifically of the heavy stuff like a gallon of vinegar. I walk to my grocery store almost every day, but if I want to get heavy stuff or stock up on canned goods, then I ask my husband to drive me and we load up.
Does Walmart, Costco or your grocery chain deliver? Amazon? I'm not trying to cheat you out of getting your steps in (haha), just thinking of ways you can get your heavy stuff without having to carry it too far.
Carol
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Got good sleep, heading to our friends house now to find his shy cat (we made sure there was good and water for it when we found him). Now we just need to find something in his house to help us notify his family. We found his phone but it’s passcode locked and he can’t open it or tell us the code.
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Candy, I would hate to have to live with them because it is important for me to have my own place. If it was a choice of being homeless and living with them I would of course but otherwise, I am comfortable here. If I do get sicker, I will have to seek out healthcare again via visiting nurses to check on me, still have the wellness check call set up as well, if I don't answer the daily call, they would be contacted. I would be comfortable with them moving. I was just panicked last night wondering what I would do without my weekly grocery trip etc. I realize I could set up UBER rides if i needed to get a lot etc. I also started feeling lonely but realized that we really don't see much of each other in town as they are busy anyway.
Having slept on it and thinking today, I really need to stop worrying about what is in front of me and deal with each item one at a time at present. I can do that with my cancer for the most part but day to day worrying is what I need to stop doing.
Candy, thank you for thinking of me with all that is going on for you.
Found this quote that would be useful for me, all the worrying won't get me anywhere. I am going to try harder.
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Mae, if he can't get it unlocked, and if he is verbal, maybe a call to his carrier would allow them to give a PUK (personal unlocking key) code the phone at their end so you can get into the phone to find his contacts. Perhaps if he was on social media, could maybe get a call out that way, hope it gets figured out. He was lucky to have DH and you to help him out.
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Good suggestions Mara.
Fortunately, being of the pre-iPhone era, I quickly identified a small spiral notebook typically used for phone numbers and sure enough, we got the contact info, trying to reach his family now.
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Great news, mae! So glad you found some contact info.
Carl
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Oh, I am so glad to hear you found contact info Mae, hope you are able to contact his family soon.
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Sunshine, there is the option of instacart here when it comes to groceries. I typically pick up a few items a week anyway, stuff like liitter for the catbox could go through Amazon. I will likely try training to carry vinegar in a knapsack. I normally use a larger knapsack to put items in or a giant shoulder bag as well. If things were too heavy, could call an uber to get home. I prefer to get my own groceries because it is just easier.
At this point, when it comes to worrying about things, I have decided upon reflection that I will be fine either way and I can stay in town, they can move if they choose to, if they don't that is good as well. I can figure out the groceries and everything will work itself out. I just got anxious and sad about people possibly leaving.
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Mae,
You and your hubby are such incredible friends. What you’ve gone through for him is proof that you are willing to do anything for your friends. I am truly humbled. I realize that I like to help folks in need, but to drive 10 hours to check on him, and then to stay with him while his family comes, makes me wonder what kind of friend I really am. I hope everything works out well for him, and he recovers.
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Mae - I second what Booboo said and wondering, what kind of friend am I?!
Mara - so sorry you're having to worry about this situation but it sounds like you're getting to a place of peace with whatever happens. I was a big nervous nellie before my diagnosis, always worrying about something. Try to let it roll off these days - you do what you can, prepare as best you can, and then just let it go.
Wouldn't it be something if we could all live on the same street in the same neighborhood? .....leaving casseroles, margaritas, or kitty litter on doorsteps as needed....sigh......
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Mae, you were missed today. I’m so glad you were able to find the notebook, and I hope you found his kitty.
Jhl, that’s a lot of grief on your plate. I’m sending a hug your way. I’m sorry.
Mara, I’m glad you feel a little better about the situation with your family. I love the saying about worry. I saved it.
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Kikomoon, I would take all three, that is for sure. I would be great if we lived near each other for sure. In all my years on this site and I vaguely remember another patient coming from the same city as me, only one person out of all us that I have met, really cool though.
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Thanks all. Our friend has been flown to a better hospital, (the local one only has a once a week mobile MRI), his sister and mother saw him today, we will go tomorrow or Wednesday, hopefully t try get have all neuro tests done and a plan. He had several seizures before we found him and at the hospital, we are hopeful for a good recovery but honestly are really distraught over him laying alone on the floor for days, the trauma we are imagining is almost unbearable.
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I would also welcome and really would. Want to meet someone from the thread. I think that it would be a sweet thing to give huge hug and realize we are really friends. It would love if it one if you lived in town or down the next town. We could help each other. It would be so nice to sit with someone who truly understands both physical and mental sides of this awful disease. This world is so big, you would think I would have met someone by now. I did have someone that I had known for a brief time period. I gave her my long wig. Unfortunately she passed I think two years ago. I would love someone to spend time with and talk to. That understands the fatigue and limited things that are able to be accomplished people look at me and think I look fine. I don't look sick. So when I am not very active , I'm sure they are puzzled. I wouldn't feel as useless, if I could do more around the house. My damn back and the location of the s4 is the bear. Always roaring that it's back there. Never to forget. You're so strong ladies. It's amazing what we go through it's an honor to fight alongside of you beautiful people.
BooBoo ~ fingers crossed
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ohMae~ I'm so sorry about what happened to your friend. But you found him. If You guys didn't he could still be there. But you followed your instinct and thank goodness he's in a place where he is getting help. Try to not think about the part you couldn't control. You guys are wonderful friends and people. He is lucky to have you. I'm sure it's shocking though and maybe that's what you guys are experiencing a little yourselves. It's a big deal . Sending bi hugs. Great job finding his family as well. Anyone would be damn lucky to have friends like you guys. I hope he continues to get better in this better hospital.
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Mae, he seemed to not remember, so try to take comfort in that. I'm sure it was awful for him, but if he doesn't remember after he's better, he'll be okay. Like Mel said, you are phenomenal friends. I'm sure his family can't thank you enough. Hugs to you and your husband.
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Although I am new to this group it seems like by reading the stories and feeling the hard emotions I have known you all for years. I know what it is for people to say you look great but yet have no idea what you are truly feeling. The fatigue and pain can be overwhelming. Each night I give myself a list of what I'd love to get done the next day. Everything from house chores to getting out for walk. If I don't get it done then to the hell with it. Push it to the next day. My best times are when I first get up to early afternoon.
Mara- London is a beautiful city. Years ago I lived there and that is where my daughter was born. I have friends that live there and when I do get back to Ontario I often visit there. The next time I am there we will definitely hook up!
It's too bad we are all so far apart. A girls weekend away together would be awesome. Bottles of wine flowing and all the junk food we could eat.
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LivingIVLife, that sounds like a good idea. Would be nice to meet someone in person, my thoughts exactly.
Not doing a whole lot today, it is rainy here and so I decided I will do 10000 steps of the indoor walk, I do it all at once and take wee stops for water or going to the loo, takes about 80 mins for that. Also going to try to incorporate my mini elliptical more since 2 revolutions count as 1 steip.
I am also putting myself on a road to 180 plan which is the weight I feel best at. The only thing that is different is to measure my food a bit and make sure meals are about 400 to 500 calories. Between the walking I do most days and measuring my food without starving my body, I think that will help. I already do not buy chocolate bars routinely or a bunch of chips, I have one bag of taki's which I take 1 or two, grind them up and use as a topping sometimes. Using more queso since it is low fat and calorie but creamy. I also eat part of a granola bar and put the rest away and when I crave peanut butter which is another weakness, I have 1 teaspoon which is 30 calories. All of these things are helpful. i used to eat cereal for breakfast but it never sustained me and my blood sugar dropped quickly which started the weight gain. By doing this in combo to my indoor and outdoor walk and elliptical, my steps will go up and hopefully this combo helps me lose some weight which is tougher as a menopausal woman. We will see.
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Hi everyone, I'm back from the weekend off. I got my 3rd covid vax yesterday & then dh & I went to the plant store and got all we need for our fall plantings out front and on the deck. Still have to plant bulbs but leaving it till later this month.
I'm tired today. Not sure if it's the vax or that I walked > 10 k steps yesterday. Saw my orthopedic surgeon today & he says I won't need surgery on the broken arm so that's a relief.
I have blood work + MO tomorrow, chemo thur, endocrinology telehealth on fri.
LivingIVlife, welcome. I'm on the other coast in Vancouver.
Kitty sorry you're sill in limbo in hospital. Sucks.
Mae, o.m.g. so glad you listened to your gut. Wishing your friend a speedy recovery.
Mara, sorry that your family's potential move was troubling you but glad you've decided to not worry about it now. In your pocket on the 20th
We're still waiting to hear if we're rezoned and selling and have to move... I try to not think about it. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt lol
Hugs everyone 🤗
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Just checking in to say hello. Here for pocket duty. I just cleared out the last of my tomatoes after our first frost. I'm going to make a marinara out of them for lack of any other ideas. Guess I will contribute pizza rolls to the pocket duty.
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We just want to chime in to say "Hi" to Everyone in Mel's living room
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thank you Mods…. Hello to you too….
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So today I went out with my texting buddy that I have spoken of on here before. We just went for a drive down to a lake about 15-20 miles from my home. We sat on a bench by the water and just talked and enjoyed the sun and the 75 degree weather. On the way home he asked if I wanted an ice cream. I was not really hungry (the Lynparza med side effect) and I didn't want to "rock the boat" of my stomach. After I got home, I heated some soup and ate it. Made my stomach cramp and felt nauseous. Sigh... I wish I felt better so we could do a picnic next time, but I don't want to spoil the outing with feeling sick. Anyhoo, I enjoyed the time out of my house.
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Good evening everyone! I hope y’all had a great long weekend. My DH and I watched spooky movies all weekend and made dinner together. I’ve been riding the high of good days for the last 4 days or so. I’m trying not to dwell on things or get frustrated.
Kikomoon and Mel - That would be lovely! It would be awesome to meet in person and support each other. Margaritas are always welcome! But just having someone to talk to face to face who gets it would be so refreshing.
Mae - You are such a wonderful friend! I wish your friend a stress-free recovery.
Moth - That’s great news about your arm! I hope it continues healing well.
Mara - I’m with you on the losing weight thing. I’ve put on 20lbs in the last year with my thyroid issues. Now with MBC and the meds and forced menopause AND hypothyroidism, it’s so hard to lose anything. I asked the NP I met with last week about diets and whatnot and got the worst answer I’ve ever heard from a medical professional. She told me to track my calories for 3 days and find the average and then cut that in half. She said I should probably be around 1000 calories a day! Can you believe that?! Women should t go below 1200 a day. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to ask someone else.
I hope everyone is having a good day! Send out happy thoughts
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I don't even do one thousand calories some days. So I don't agree with that assessment at all because I don't loose shit!!!! Our metabolisms tank when we reach menopause or anything hormonal will mess with your weight. Before I could just chill out a few weeks and would loose weight swiftly with working out. Not anymore. My body is weak. My muscles aren't strong. I am unstable walking. And I could fall very easily. Once you reach a certain age. Either you're overweight, medium or skinny. Sometimes even too skinny. But cancer makes your whole system chaotic.
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So, we were/are kinda hoping to leave tomorrow after seeing our friend in the new hospital but we haven’t found the cat yet, she’s too smart for the live trap DH set. And, we got a call from the friends nurse, no evidence of a stroke, they’re thinking poison, what?! Pesticides specifically or at least to start with, do we went back to his place and compiled a list with photos. Hopefully, there’s an update tomorrow.
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Mae 1000 will make your body go into starvation mode. No way that would be enough. Crazy doctor. I've gained 50 lbs, bad eating habits mostly. Measuring my meals and increasing protein makes it easier. We'll see how it goes.
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Katyblu - Yikes, I agree. That seems like some bad advice. I probably eat too much. I gained about 20 pounds and have kept 12 of those after starting stage IV therapies. I think bodies just adjust and hit plateaus. From the meds themselves to the after effects I just think it gets harder. It's always been a natural tendency for me to have extra weight than lose. My previous oncologist told me to eat nutritionally dense foods and to focus on getting enough quality nutrition before focusing on weight loss.
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Mae, I don't know why exactly, but as I was reading the story of your friend, I wondered if he was poisoned by something. Is he someone who might take a lot of something purported to prevent or cure covid? Or what about highly pigmented handmade pottery that might have toxic glazes? Home improvement/repair projects that used toxic substances? This is like those medical mystery stories. I hope you are not too exhausted.
P.S. Ask the folks on the Cats cats cats thread for tips on catching that wily feline.
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