My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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I really appreciate everyone's wishes and I too have struggled to find words when others are in this situation. Just know, it's truly a gift to me to have virtual friends huddled around me. I feel a bit of a gate crasheras I haven't spent much time here but you may be stuck with me!
I sent a note to my MO about possibly trying Aromasin. It's the only endocrine treatment I haven't had. If I am resistant it won't help but I don't think it can hurt. It might slow down this train while I look for a trial.
Wishing you all a joyful Monday. Not a tree Mel but here's the mantel in my sitting room. 😊
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Pat, I am in your pocket all the way with some dog treats for Sadie to enjoy and support for you.
Another lazy day here. I am enjoying the chocolate peanut cluster mix but still eating on the fly. Yesterday I did 2 tbsp chips, 1tbsp peanut butter and sprinkle of peanuts. Problem was, I got overly full. Today, 2 teaspoons chips, 1 teaspoon peanut butter and a teasponn of peanuts. Always heated for 30 secs in the microwave. I eat right away because if I premade into clusters in the fridge, I would eat far too many, the micro measuring allows me to have it daily without too much impact calorie wise. Instead of chocolate peanut clusters, it is a warm chocolate peanut pudding and tastes just as good. In future, will look into other things and flavors of chips and cookies like chocolate mint chips and oreos, half to be careful with amounts on that one.
Breakfast was plain, 1/2 cups black and pinto bean mix. I don't care as much for pinto so mixing them to use them up, 1/4 cup beefless ground, put the baked beans in pan, added the beefless ground, sprinkle of shredded cheese and wheat bran. Seasoned with steak seasoning and a bit of salt and used some mayo as a binder, was really good.
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Pat Sadieservant so sorry to hear the results. Like everyone else I’m at a loss for what to say or do. Your mantle is bright and festive. I hope it’s bringing you joy. Pocket duty as you go through this.
Tany
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Pat
Lovely decorations.
As I embark on this MBC journey, I digested many numbers, OS, PFS, prognosis etc. It allows us to gauge. But I believe luck plays a major role.
GOOD LUCK Pat!
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being stuck with you Sadie. Is fine with us!!
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Pat, I'm sorry that the results weren't what we all wished for. I agree it can't hurt to ask your MO, fingers crossed.
Also to me everyone is in this together no matter how often we post etc. It's about being surrounded by people who understand what you are going through. About lending an ear or a shoulder to cry on. Hugs.
Mantle looks beautiful, enjoy the beauty. I love Christmas twinkle lights, I find them very peaceful and calming.
Andrea
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Mel, the tree certainly looks festive and lovely. Still holding your hand from your pocket all the way.
Pat, I am sorry about the results and hope they come up with something else helpful, in your pocket sending support as well.
I did have a quiet day, only outside activity was to tape a notice to the back door that people need to lock it when the leave and come back in. I was getting irritable until I realized people may not be aware.Front door does lock automatically after entry or exit. Notes are on both sides of door, giving a week or two then asking property managers to email tenants. I do check the door at night before I go to bed but no saying someone may not go out or come home and not my place to tell people though I asked one guy to please lock it from in my place.
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Argh… we had a major dump of snow. It’s over the tops of my boots and my poor dog is not impressed with having to snow plow out to the road to do her business. I’m trying to figure out what to do for the hummingbirds as the backyard feeder is poorly placed for this weather.
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I am having a decent though indoor day here. Found another website that lets me play games for money, not gambling but just reach level 100 make 10.00 kind of things. Got a slot game on in the background. Also watching TV for money, I have an Amazon firestick and use an app called HideoutTV and they pay for ads and use a website called LootTv on my computer and that also earns money. All of these small things keep me from using up my total budget and allow more groceries and such.
I made a couple pizzas on the naan rounds, size of a small tortillas. Put garlic, tomato sauce, ground up pinto and black beans, olives and topped with shredded cheese. Should be quite good. Otherwise, it will continue to be a quiet day.
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Hi Pat (Sadieservant),
Thought I’d let you know that we are truly in this together. I stopped treatment in April of last year (2021) and have been in hospice for most of that time. I can honestly say it was the very best thing I have done in a long time. The hospice folks are incredible, and I only go to see a doctor if it’s absolutely necessary (like to the dentist for a checkup). They bring me all of my normal meds so I no longer have to fight with the pharmacy or insurance company. My stress levels have gone down so much it’s crazy. I was told that my cancer was slow growing, so that may be why I’m still here. I hope that you’ll reach out to me if things become overwhelming or if you just need encouragement. This part of having MBC isn’t so bad even though we know the end is coming. I guess I’d rather spend my days loving those around me who are so good to me. I hope you have the same wherever you are.
MayGod bless you.
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Thanks booboo. By being “in hospice” do you mean at home but getting their support? My MO discussed making sure I was signed up for palliative and hospice care so that I had easy access to symptom management and could avoid the ER. The have a palliative response team that comes out if you need them.
Actually going to Hospice is more complicated as I have the dog and my mom to think about. Mom’s coming up to 92 and maintains that she still wants to stay in the house. Not sure that’s feasible but… Lots to think through. I appreciate the shoulder!
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We have a snowman theme.
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I love the trees and Christmas decorations, living vicariously through others.
Pat, I hope everything gets sorted for you ongoing care as well as your mom. If she wants to stay home, perhaps getting something that can detect falls or pressed if she needs help if she does not already have it can help her stay in the home. Nursing in the home is also an option if you have not already got it. Something to take it off your shoulders. In your pocket.
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Hi Pat,
I am so sorry to hear about the metastases in your liver. I appreciate your resilient spirit that is embodied in your posts and you are in our thoughts. I'm not sure if you are familiar with this website, but wanted to share just in case it could be helpful to you: trialjectory.com It's a bit more user friendly than clinicaltrials.gov.
Your mantel is beautiful. Hope you get some relief from the heavy snow soon!
Sincerely,
The Mods0 -
love the trees. I love seeing the different ideas and creations. Beautiful part of Christmas 🎄.
Yes the mantle looks elegant….. love it!
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Pat, you are in my thoughts and I am in your pocket as everyone else is too.
Mel, I hope things are easing a bit for you as well my friend, sending positive vibes your way.
Calm before the winter storm here. May go out and see how things are right now since we are going to be walloped with snow on friday. Sitting on my hands to avoid messaging the property managers. They don't clean the building, I am not confident about them taking care of snow removal, we will see, I need to give them a chance. I am planning to vacuum hall again given the fact that there is no active construction. I am gettng dog fur and everything else, not doing the whole building, just my place.
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I put in an order at Walmart for delivery, my goodness they must be busy, most delivery spots today were full, I took one for 4 to 5 pm. That is OK to me I think. Got a few extras I did not have and did not want to have them deliver when we get the dump of snow that is expected. I will stay in until things are cleaned up. I am going out with DB and whichever family is coming at a decent place tomorrow which will function as Christmas dinner. That will be nice.
Trying to get rid of my irritation at neighbours, I hear them reading the note about having to lock the back door since it does not lock automatically. They are leaving building open to strangers which is so dumb. I can't keep email property manager as I did email to ask about who will clear all the snow we are due to get already. I cannot make the residents lock the door so I will go out into the hall and lock it myself since I am home most often. Yesterday, my cat Tigger decided to dash out into the apartment hall and made me follow him on all floors of the building, he wound up in the basement which has no railing so I had to lift him up a stair at a time and then grab the railing. He really did not enjoy it so when I go out, will keep my eye out and at night, will stick him in the bathroom when locking the back.
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Thank you all for your caring thoughts and thanks mods for the link. I had actually gone to that site but then bailed as it felt a bit like being with a telemarketer. I'll try again.
Day two of snowmageddon here. We had about 18 inches in one dump and now it’s just staying very cold. Not our usual wet coast weather for sure. I have an old house with a long driveway and could only manage a goat trail to the road yesterday so that Sadie could get out. God bless him, a neighbour’s SIL shovelled a good part of the driveway late afternoon. I was so relieved. This morning I widened some paths and cleared up the dusting we had overnight. I’ve given up on uncovering my car or clearing the walkway to my front door. Now biggest worry is keeping the hummingbirds supplied with food as it freezes quickly. Poor little things.
Hope you all have a warm, dry and restful day!
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Mara~Hi ya darling. Thanks for always remembering me it means a lot. I also saw the giant direct slots were all filling in quickly. DH bd is Christmas Eve. Worst birthday ever. I’m a little stressed about it all coming together!
Sadie~I don’t like that much snow. You run out of places to put it. I don’t like DH having to shovel.
Getting nails done tomorrow gotta pick a new color. Don’t really feel too festive so. No red. Nor green this year. Maybe a frosty white. Decisions decisions!
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Mel, I like the idFridayea of white as well. Still in season without screaming Christmas if you don't want that.
I really need an attitude check. First, I let my self feel angry that stupid neighbours refuse to lock the back door. I am pissed because property manager has not said if they have people who can shovel when we get the snow dump, I also got really irritated when the Walmart order did not show up and they said they thought I was picking up. Sigh. I did not take it out on the people from Walmart, picked up the stuff at the back door and stupid neighbours are leaving garbage out back. I can't keep picking up stuff for slobs but don't want animals. I wish I could simply let all this go. I know I don't need to worry but so much stuff pissing me off. Rant over. I need more exercise to blow off steam and learn to let go.
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people are jerks. I’m sorry Mara!
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today was incredibly special , the people showed up with Christmas for my sister. Wrapped packages, gift cards. Blankets. Socks. Puzzle books. She’s telling me about what had just happened and my doorbell is ringing and there are people from our out reach program in town. with a Christmas for our family. I was speechless. The hospital posted our family and they said they got so many donations they were able to do two families. It was a special day. My sister was surprised and so was I. I belong to an incredible palliative team. They make miracles. had to share some good things!!! Was a great day. It felt like Christmas for the first time this season. While people can be jerks. Like I said to Mara. But then this made me double think it. So I’ll say some people aren’t nice. I hope we can all have a day like this...
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Oh Mel, that is so wonderful for your sister and family and kind of people to nominate her. That must have really warmed her heart as well as I can hear in your post that it warmed yours as well. That is great.
I am largely over my irritation after much internal dialogue of not driving myself nuts about stuff. If there is garbage outside, I'll pick it up. It is sitting in a bin outside, will take it out with my stuff. I will check the door with people coming in and out and will vacuum my hallway. Answer to the snow issue, if it is not cleared, I will contact the city, end of story. After realizing all this, the angst dissipated. There are people, including here, who have real problems, I should be more grateful for life as it is for me.
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Pat, that sounds like a lot of shoveling. Bless your neighbor for clearing part of your driveway, and bless you for looking out for the hummingbirds.
To everyone else expecting a big snow dump - ugg! I don't miss that at all. Funny story- the first time we were stationed near Chicago (near my hometown), an outgoing person offered a snowblower to my husband for free, and he said no! (???!!!) He had no idea what we were in for. I told him shoveling the driveway and walkway were officially HIS job. Lol
Mara - is okay to get frustrated with people sometimes, but you found a good way to get over the anxiety it produces. Have fun at your Christmas supper with your DB, et al.
Mel - what a great surprise for your sister and you!
I love the Christmas tree pics. I'll try to get a pic of ours tomorrow. I have to figure out what to do about a skirt for it. I don't know if I accidentally gave mine away with the tree before we moved. I thought I rescued it, but I can't find it. It may be in a straggler box, yet unpacked (I'm embarrassed to say how many of those there are at least partially unpacked).
I spent all day out getting the last groceries for the week with visitors. My husband spent all day with the well drillers. We're both exhausted. Stouffer's Lasagna to the rescue!
We're expecting high winds and very cold weather tomorrow. I'm staying in! Unfortunately, housecleaning is on my agenda...after sleeping in a little. 😉
Ugg! Predictive text! I always swype on my tablet, and it's usually pretty good - except could/would invariably come out as souks (?!). Lately, it's been weird. Today I got 'euthanasia' instead of 'with' and 'Ouagadougou' (WTF?) instead of 'partially'. You just have to laugh. 😂🤣
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Pat,
Hospice comes to your home…you don’t have to go anywhere. They are very flexible around your schedule and will most likely start you in Palliative Care until it’s time for Hospice. I think the difference is what services are provided by each one (doing checkup once a week on your vitals vs. dispensing pain meds and other checks as the cancer progresses). I feel very supported and happy through this whole experience, and hope you will too if you decide you are tired of feeling sick from the chemo rat race.
Boo
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we love you BooBoo! Hugs hugs hugs
Mara~ at least you know you’re taking care of your own business and doing what you’re supposed to do. Humans can be pigs. You’d be amazed how some live. You’re amazing!0 -
Mel, you are right. We'll see how things go over the weekend with all the snow. I may order a shovel for myself along with salt. I have my cleats and cane spikes once things get plowed out. Other stuff, picking stuff up, I will do for me.
I do have dinner and looking at Christmas lights which is enjoyable as well.
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Mel that was so kind of those volunteers. What a blessing for your family.
Mara some times people just are inconsiderate and mean. I hate that it brings out the worst in us but we have to react somehow. I hope you don’t have too much bad weather.
Stay safe and warm everyone.
Happy holidays to those who celebrate.
Tany
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