My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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SF - I wrote in the other thread, but this is a lovely photo of the two of you.
Thinking of Rabbit also at this time, as I believe she passed on shortly after Christmas and how much she loved the holidays and treating her beloved.
Pretty sedate here at the moment, though our tree isn't decorated as we thought we had one more string of lights than we do and are currently awaiting an Amazon delivery. I haven't wrapped any gifts, my caramel was a big fat failure, my cookies aren't frosted, and we have to go shop for fresh veg in a bit. Ive been in a really cranky mood too, so yesterday I went out alone, bought myself some lunch, stopped at a super cute chocolate shop I had never noticed before, and sat in an 800 yr old church for a little bit of reflection. Im not religious, and certainly wasn't baptized an Anglican, but places of worship (especially old ones) are still serene spaces and it helped me get my head straight and calm.
Hope everyone has a good, restful holiday period!
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SFcakes, my condolences on the loss of your husband, what a beautiful photo of the two of you, sending love and strength at this difficult time.
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sfcakes- Beautiful photo. My condolences.
Thinking of you all during this Season. Peace to all.
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sf-cakes, my sincerest sympathy for the loss of your beloved husband. I am sure you will cherish the wonderful memories you had together. We are here for you if you need a shoulder, or anything at all. May the memories of your love sustain you as you move into your next phase of life.
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sf-cakes - I echo all the condolences shared by our sisters. There is never a good time for that degree of loss but the holidays make loss so much more difficult. You must be an angel to be able to be with your beloved through the end. I hope you have more beautiful photos to reflect on your lives together. Peace be with you.
A small Christmas prayer for all -
May the blessing of joy abide within you, may the blessing of peace rest upon you, may the blessing of love flow through you, and may all these things be yours now and through the New Year! Love to all my sisters❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Today is my 22nd wedding anniversary. I made DH breakfast, I really made it for me though and I wanted him to eat something healthier than fried meat. We're not really romantic types, so we're going to have a roast dinner at our friends place and hang out. Since Christmas isn't our thing either, I'll be out painting the bar. Have a good weekend 🙂
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SF-Prayers for peace and comfort during these difficult days.
Illimae-Happy Anniversary! Your breakfast looks delicious.
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Mae- Happy Anniversary! Enjoy your dinner with friends.
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SF, I posted on the other thread but also wanted to say what a lovely photo and a lovely couple. My deepest condolences.
Sondra, your post made me chuckle a bit with how much we try to do in preparation for Christmas and how things can go sideways despite our good intentions. Nerves are a bit frayed here after dealing with all that snow for days and now the rain has arrived. It’s a bit of a slushy mess. But I am happy to report that I managed to get bloodwork done - that was tougher than it needed to be as by the time the requisition made it into the system they closed all the labs yesterday.
I was finally able to do a grocery run much to my mother’s relief. She’s hilarious - 91 but insists on doing the shopping, still driving her tank of a car. 😁 She thankfully allowed me to do a shop today to get the few things we needed which allowed me to stock up on some of my favourite treats without her worrying about expense. Having trouble keeping weight on now so I figure I can drink eggnog and eat chips/dip with abandon!
Mae, happy anniversary.
Wishing you all the best of the season.
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Happy anniversary, Mae!
Thank you for all the lovely condolences, and love and peace for everyone.
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Happy Anniversary Mae~ have a peaceful time painting and enjoying each others company.
Sf~ thinking of you.
Busy few days for sure.
Merry Christmas Eve.
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We are on our way to Ontario tomorrow. Taking 3 days to drive there instead of 2.
I wish all of you wonderful ladies a safe, peaceful and eat til you drop holiday. Hugs
Debbie
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I was able to see DH today which made us both happy. There's still snow and ice around but the major streets are clear. They were all in one really nice area singing holiday songs. I think staff cheated and reviewed the lyrics ahead of time. We'll go back in the morning with his stocking and presents. DD found him some toy things that should be easy enough to manage. If he doesn't like them someone else might.
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Wren~I amso happy you got to spend time together. Tomorrow sounds fun, another opportunity to make memories. I hope you have a wonderful day. Merry Christmas….
I had a lovely evening for my dh's birthday and Christmas Eve… love having everyone together. Dss arrived earlier today which we are always so happy with. Looking forward to tomorrow as well.
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sf-cakes - My condolences, lovely picture. Yes God heard your prayers. Prayers for strength going up for you.
Peace and Joy to all on this Christmas.
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Mel,
So glad you enjoyed your family and DH’s birthday. And happy Christmas to all of our sisters here and around the world. We are many…way too many. I’m praying that 2023 is a break-through year of discovery and cures. There are so many exciting things happening in the pharma arena, so there is hope.
May the magic of the season and the love that surrounds us keep us moving forward to an answer for MBC.
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Living, hope the drive is not too bad for you. We did get high winds and some snow in London but not the crazy amounts they were predicted. Hope where you are going is the same.
Merry Christmas for those celebrating it.
I had Christmas with DB and SIL on Thurs at a restaurant. Going to have to save money and take them out next year. Still loving the magic bullet they got me. Now I have separate tools for all my things, small chopper for spinach, bigger chopper for bigger items, magic bullet for my smoothies, ooh, thinking about making a treat of cool whip, pudding, 1/2 oreo and a bit of the oreo baking as well. I also have thought of peanut butter, maybe 1/2 tbsp worth, melt it and mix with same amount of coolwhip, we will see. I am working on shrinking portions to be able to make all the stuff I wish to make.
I am undecided what I really want to do today, part of me is thinking about grabbing my cleats and putting them on my shoes and the spike on the walking stick and tooling around to get used to a bit of snow.
Think I have invented a new way to use up my queso. Got some tortilla chips and will make a bowl of breakfast nachos. Will bake 1/4 cup beans first, heat up the beefless ground in a frypan a bit. Taking a larger bowl, spoon out generous amount of queso, put in some crumbled tortilla chips, little wheat bran for extra fiber, and a bit of shredded cheese. Microwave at least a minute, pull out bowl, add beans and just stir. I like a bit of extra salt. These are just a step up from my totally bad snack of heated queso mixed with crumbled tortilla chips. I can probably modify amounts to be smaller, not something everyday but is a nice taste change. Pizza with beans may be on the horizon too. We shall see.
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Happy anniversary, Mae.
Mel, I'm still so touched by what people did for your sister!
Hoping all with travel plans stay safe.
DH is skiing today at Mammoth Mountain. He'll drive back here tomorrow as will my BIL from Utah and then we'll have our Christmas together.
The temporary mini-fridge we bought is working well and will hold my dad over until January 31 when the new/replacement arrives.
I'm working on knitting another scarf for my sister. It's a cool pattern and knits up quickly. It's called "Mum's Neck Cozy." It's on the short side, but it has this keyhole thing that you tuck one end into and it wraps nicely around your neck. I've made several for myself and have given some away. They're nice for those "cold" San Diego nights when we go for our evening walk.
Waving "hi" to everyone and wishing a Merry Christmas to all who celebrate.
Love, hugs, and good cheer to all,
Carol
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I know I missed people which always happened. I will do my best here.
Wren, I am so glad you spent time with your DH and got to sing some songs. That is really nice.
Mel, glad you enjoyed DH birthday and seeing your DSS as well. Enjoy your Christmas.
Laurie, Mae, Tanya and everyone warm holiday wishes, Merry Christmas to those celebrating, Happy Holiday and warm wishes for everyone else to family and friends.
I am still looking at automatic portable washers that would wash, rinse and take care of the spin for me. It will be a long time before I am in a position to get one of those but I think I know where it stay when not in use. We will see. Otherwise, will start doing a laundry trip with DB and SIL every couple of weeks dragging all the bedding and just do it there. Don't want to use the tub. The portable washers are bigger so if mine would work, will do that. We will see. Thinking I would get rid of a dresser in my room that does not actually hold clothes and keep it in my bedroom when not in use, bring out to the kitchen to use in there. Fun to dream, far off dream too.
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sfcakes, we are so deeply sorry for your loss
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sfcakes, I am still sending love and support to you and your family and friends at this difficult time. I am in your pocket as long as you need.
Hope people were able to celebrate with family or friends and those who live alone did something nice for themselves yesterday.
I honestly ate terrible yesterday and only watch a movie from netflix with Daniel Craig called Glass Onion, second in the Knives Out series. It was entertaining and Rian Johnson does a good job with this series. That surprised me because his Star Wars movie was not good to me. Daniel Craig puts on the best fake southern accent and I enjoy seeing him in a role that does not involve glowering and seriousness constantly like James Bond.
Taking another lazy day, got a small cold feeling, taking buckleys expectorant once in morning and will take the cough suppressor tonight. It will likely disappear by tomorrow. Had a couple of naan mini round pizzas. Just added the tomato sause, beans sent through chopper, green olives, hint of wheat bran, cover with cheese. Not a huge calorie count. Going to try to use up stuffing as well, still got quite a bit left over, might try baking with beans and adding mustard or caesar dressing after. Also decided that I am going to stop buy the cheap noodles. Not worth the calorie count, white rice would help make a more complete protein. Also losing my taste for peanut butter. Think I may just use both the chocolate milk smoothie and a pudding mixed with oreo baking stuff (no middle) and 1/2 tea spoon of different chocolate chips that are not melted. Maybe add 1 tbsp of cool whip too. We will see.
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Nothing happening here. Doing up some laundry, deciding on breakfast. Put a bar of dove soap in hot water for a bit to add to my hand and body mixes. Makes them feel really good. Wandwashing clothes in washer first then will do up cloths.
Still have a cold but still nothing too major, doing a couple of easy money making things as well, hoping for some treadmill too as I slept 10 hours after going to bed early last night.
In anyone's pocket who needs it, I am sure when people are not so busy with treatment, family issues other things will be back. I do hope the holidays went well for some or most of us.
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Hi i hope everyone had a nice holiday break and were able to avoid the terrible weather up there, I had a quiet couple of days with Beck and Finn, I couldn't do much as I'm still pretty sore from my surgery last Tuesday, Finn made his own birthday cake this year, he did a great job and it tasted great.
Stay safe everyone.
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That looks like a great job with the cake. My grandson in high school made ramen for their Christmas dinner. It looked great and probably tasted just as good. He is a really good cook. He made a chocolate cake one Christmas and it was the best I've ever eaten. How many kids want a Kitchen Aide from Santa?
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Hello all.
I don't seem to post as much as I used to. But today I have a question for the group and want your opinions, as fellow cancer patients and living in this world of germs while undergoing cancer treatment. And this is more than just the Covid issue.
I was talking on the phone with my sister. We were discussing all the illnesses going around thru the U.S. right now- Covid cases on the rise, early flu season, RSV even in adults, now a virulent strain of strep A in kids that can be deadly. She said she heard on the news that some of this is from the mask use the last couple of years. And that people actually caused harm by wearing masks in the fact that it isolated themselves from viruses and actually made them more prone to getting sick== the immune system weaker from not being exposed to the germs and making their bodies fight against them. I had heard the same thing on the news. And it actually makes sense. Like allowing kids to play in the dirt or exposing a child to chicken pox when their friends have it.
You all know from my posts that I am a masker, and that I am still isolating from crowds-- church, restaurants, etc. So, my response to my sister was that with a cancer patient, with low counts, it is a catch 22. Yes, we are not exposing ourselves to germs to build up immunity, but we would be risking ourselves by not masking and being in crowds. A vicious cycle. Mask up and avoid crowds but keep your immune system weak... or unmask and go out and about but chance getting sick, maybe really sick.
What do you all think? How do we cancer patients deal with all this for the rest of our lives?
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I mask when in a crowded place...only bc of counts and it being flu season not bc of covid or anything else. Other wise I don't wear a mask...Healthy people (not us) especially need to be exposed to things to build up immunity. I also take Turkey Tail every day.
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Nicole- True, healthy people should be exposed to things to build up natural immunity. Maybe the overuse of masks did harm the population in general. Are you going to mask up when the worst of the cold/flu season is over? If it is ever over. Used to summers were less "germy", but now it seems we hear of illnesses year-round. I have not heard of Turkey Tail. I will have to read up on that.
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Hi Candy. I wouldn’t say that wearing a mask weakened anyone’s immune system. For the majority of people, their immune systems are humming along just fine. The issue is that they have not been exposed to many of the typical bugs over the last couple of years if they masked up. So those small exposures that help build immunity to a particular virus didn’t happen. What this led to was a lot of people getting sick simultaneously. Many of those who got quite ill would have been sick regardless, even if they hadn’t been masking up. I’m not sure I’m explaining it well - the immune systems are not the problem, it’s the lack of exposure as immunity takes time to build up. It’s a subtle difference. And in the case of cancer patients, our immune system may be even slower to respond with or without the pandemic. I had to be careful during adjuvant treatment in 2001, steering clear of crowds, etc. I also mask in stores/crowded places where I have no idea who I will encounter but don’t mask when I walk the dog or visit with my friends.
Well, looks like I will be getting urinary stents in early January - estimate the 6th but tbd. It’s hard to know if now is the time. My kidney function has declined since October. It’s not terrible yet but I anticipate it will get worse with the pressure from the enlarged liver. Given that both kidneys are involved, I don’t feel I want to take any risks. Hoping the stents don’t cause bladder irritation. I hate UTIs so will be bummed if it feels like I have to pee all the time!
Wishing everyone all the best for this funny week between Christmas and New Years. I always get very antsy as I want to be productive but the world seems to work in slow motion. 😊.
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Candy,
It's hard to generalize for all cancer patients b/c our circumstances can be very different. I technically have low white blood cells counts but they are due to Ibrance, not IV chemo. As many have noted, Ibrance merely suppresses the white blood cells and they can spring back quickly to action when needed. So I have continued to enjoy life throughout Covid and cancer. I got Covid once-it was quite mild. Knowing that my time on earth is limited, I want to make the most of it while I am here and that includes being around other people and having fun. So I do take some risks but feel like I am still physically strong and not at a high risk of getting very sick. If and when I switch to IV chemo I will be much more cautious because then I know my immune system will be truly weak. For now I enjoy going out and just living life. I don't take it for granted anymore and I know the day will likely come when I will have to be secluded at home and I'll try and enjoy that too.
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@ Candy, I think we have to consider the source and I am very suspicious of "news" that is skewed one direction or another. Sadie has a good point that mask wearing limited exposure to basic viruses which could explain the uptick but it is not the masks specifically. I remember NYC having to bring in refrigerated containers for a make shift morgue in 2020 prior to vaccines. I have to think that had we not curtailed activities to limit the virus, this could have resulted in much higher deaths which would definitely have been traumatizing and devastating to everyone. Do the least harm is my motto.
As cancer patients, we have our own serious concerns. I don't look like I am sick but I have been on Ibrance for 3 years with 2 dose reductions due to low WBC and my neutrophils still dip below 1.0 at the end of my week. Thankfully, I live in a community with a high % of vaccinated residents. I have traveled by plane pretty often in the past 3 years (at least 20 trips) - always wearing an N95 mask at the airport and on the plane. I go to my church where everyone or 97% of the congregation is vaccinated and don't wear a mask every time ( I have lately to avoid colds and flu plus covid). My mother-in-law attends a church of anti-maskers and they have less than 50% vaccinated so I won't go to that church (different state so it's not hard to avoid). My oncologist told me to not yet go back to small group cardio class at a gym but other than that I have no restrictions. my oncologist also advised to wear N95 masks indoors in public and of course when on a plane.
In general, I don't get "sick" often (haha - except for cancer). I never used to even get a flu vaccine but I do now. My time is limited and I want to experience as much as I can while I feel ok and am alive. We all have to make our own decisions on what that means. I have been exposed to covid many times (in a small confined space unmasked for hours with a person who tests positive the next day) and have not come down with it yet.
@Sadie - good that you have the stents scheduled. I know you have had some extreme weather as I have too (not that far from you) and I hope you and Sadie are doing ok.
@SF-Cakes - so very sorry for your loss. You were a blessing to your husband and my heart goes out to you. I will be reviewing my health directive so thank you for that info.
@ MicMel - I am lurker but I appreciate this thread. You are all strong, fun and a great group of people:)
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