My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

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  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,060

    Would you rather take a sip drink of mud , or jump into a dirty not ready swimming pool?

    Would you rather run naked through a park? Or sing songs for 25 mins on a stage in front of people witha microphone

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,745

    I’d take the dirty pool and a run in the park since you didn’t say the park run couldn’t be at night and alone.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    Well, going to attempt a pharmacy trip, put the cleats on my shoes, practicing putting them on, I find it hard to do but would prefer not having to change my shoes as carrying another pair is a pain, might do it anyway. Next step is to put the spikes on the cane, they are reversible.

    Ate breakfast, hashbrown, 1/2 beans, spinach and cooked chicken dogs, ground them up. Cooked up the hashbrown first, cut it up, topped with the beans, spinach and chicken dogs, little shredded cheese, microwaved 60 seconds to melt cheese. Added some wheat bran. Was very filling but nutritious.

    As an added bonus, when I went through my freezer, found 3 1pound rounds of ground beef so that was very nice. Done some laundry and housework. Planning to head out by 1pm at the latest for the pharmacy as I don't want to wade through a ton of snow.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    I gotta say, I am the absolute most easily frustrated gal ever. It took a long time for me to figure out that I did not need to add both pieces of the cane spikes to my cane, really got frustrated, swore a bunch. Finally calmed my mind and found a video with better instructions and a video and put it on. Got the cleats and cane ready, just have to ready my mind to want to go, that is the worst part of exercise. I know I will feel better once I get back and pharmacy is not far either. I will not slip as cleats plus the cane spike equal stability. Bringing a extra pair of shoes and shoe horn as I cannot remove the spikes and put them back on but it will be fine.

    Back from the walk, on the way to the pharmacy, I could still tell where the sidewalk was. In the few minutes I waited, I went back out and found that the new danger were my ankles rolling off the edge of a sidewalk I could not see and all tracks had been covered. Once I got to the side streets, I stayed on the road. I definitely will not go back walking until the plow starts clearing stuff. Overall the cane spike was fine and I put on a pair of shoes that I can slip my feet into and carried the shoes with the cleats. I did not slip at all and feel quite secure, easy to slide the cane spike up and down. Need to walk in the house or hallway more which I always say as my legs felt quite tired from walking on the snow. Should sleep well tonight.


  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,723

    mara, that sounds scary. I'm glad you made it safely both directions. I hope you sleep well tonight!

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,060

    every time around this year I get funky and withdraw. January 22, 2023 was 7 years fighting this cancer. I'm so tired. I'm blessed I know this but I am so exhausted and worn out. In one way it seems short. But in others it seems so long because of the battle during that time. Chemo, surgery more chemo more surgeries l. I just feel like why does this happen to us. ? To anyone really. Somedays I agree with the word battle. Others I don't. Ehhh all I know is it sucks.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    I am 8 years out this year from dx of my cancer. I don't remember my life pre cancer other than working and coming home. Not a big party animal or social person. I worked at the call center, took care of some of the chores and my mom took care of most of the cooking, I would do dishes, we would sit and moan and groan at my soap. She did hate it when I worked from home, always afraid that people would hear her. I would give anything to have had her be healthier and we sold the house and rented and I would still be working but that was not to be. I mostly spend my time alone, on holidays this was my choice as I don't mind the quiet. Cancer took my mother and father a longer time ago and it has me now but I just try to keep up strength and not minding my cane to help me with balance issues. I do need to get more serious about the indoor walking to be able to keep up with the walking outside.

  • goldensrbest
    goldensrbest Member Posts: 738

    Our SIL called me yesterday which I knew was not a good thing. His mom, who has been fighting ovarian cancer for 4 years is going into hospice and her doctor is only giving her a couple weeks. Our daughter is extremely emotional and was not even able to talk to me although she did text to ask if I was getting better. I almost laughed - rather than telling her there’s no gettingbetter w/MBC, I just told her not to go there right now and to focus on the current needs. I hate damn cancer 🤬🤬🤬🤬

  • livingivlife
    livingivlife Member Posts: 454

    Ovarian cancer is a very difficult disease to detect early in a lot of cases. My daughter just thinks I will be here for years and years which of course I hope is true.

    January and February have always been blah for me. This year especially because we were away and then come home to sitting around feeling lonely and depressed. My Ibrance dosage was again reduced to the lowest available so that is constantly on my mind. Every little ache and pain I would usually put to the back of my mind but now it's in the forefront that the Ibrance has run its course. I know I have to get outside more but the weather has been the pits with snow,freezing rain or just plain rain. Days are filled with extra blahs!!

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,723

    mel, I'm sorry… Jan 22 is my sister's birthday. We talked on the phone yesterday. She was saying how she can't imagine like without me. I told her that maybe I'd outlive her. Who knows? But there are some days I am so ready to check out of this not-so-merry-go-round!

    mara, I hear you about the balance issues. It's scary. My DH wants me to always have my phone with me – even if I'm just going out to our detached garage.

    goldens, I'm sorry about your SIL's mom. I'd love to say that I'm getting better. Most of the time I just say, "I'm fine."

    Deb, I get it. I wonder, "Is it just a headache, or is it a massive brain tumor?" Sheesh! The extra blahs don't help!

    DH is coming home today from a 3-day ski trip. It sounds like he had a great time. Skied in the mornings, worked in the afternoons. Stayed with our kids in Bishop. I didn't feel like making the trip. We're going to see my dad this weekend. It's his 90th (?!?!) birthday. I ordered a special chocolate cake for him. Not too big, since there will just be the three of us and all he has is a mini-fridge right now until his new one comes in.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    Goldens, I am so sorry to hear about his mom and that she only has perhaps a couple of weeks. She will be comfortable but missed by friends and family. I am glad to hear that you could let go of the mistaken belief we get better, we just have stages of not getting worse is my belief.

    I am not walking today since older DB called and asked if I want to go shopping, I said sure. Not wearing cleats but non slip boots and still using the spiked cane. I will ask if he has heard or been hired for the new job, not about moving if he did get the job.


    Boring type of breakfast, 1/4 white rice premade, 1/4 cup black/white bean mix, spinach and cheese. Got a frypan, sprayed the non stick spray, added t he rice, ground up the beans and spinach, added to the pan with the shredded cheese. I also melted 1 tsp butter and 1 tsp garlic spread, added more dry garlic seasoning, mixed together until cheese melted. Once on the plate, added a mix of caesar dressing, 1 tsp, 1/2 tbsp of mayo and 1/2 of sour cream which was mixed together with a bit of onion powder, used that to bind the ingredients. The spinach made it look green but it did taste good. Better than the can of ham I ate for supper out of sheer laziness. When I say the breakfast was boring, was just because it is similar to other things I eat. Will be doing things to earn more walmart gift cards to prepare for future deliveries.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,743

    Dear Members,

    We have posted links to Dana Farber's Embrace MBC 2022-2023 virtual forum series,

    You can find the links here.

    The Mods

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    Went shopping last night with older DB and SIL, we went to a bigger grocery store with expanded clothing section, got a few winter items that were a good price, I really don't like winter coats but picked up warm shirts and jackets. My favourite hoodie zipper did not survive the dryer, lesson learned, no tumble drying, can dry in the heat rack and wand wash when needed. I also got a lot of tea, on sale, ground beef and canned turkey. The ground beef is still less expensive than the beefless ground so have to go where the price does. Browned it this morning and will chop up the ground beef with beans ( hate them chewy ) and spinach and will make different tastes. Should last 4 to 6 meals. Had to drain fat into a container I use to collect it, when it is close to garbage, I spoon out the fat into the garbage which is double bagged at least to keep animals out my garbage. I am also slightly nuts when it comes to all the enzyme and alcohol sprayed in with a side of baking soda, my garbage really does not smell.

    I emailed my property manager as we had a fair bit of snow and they have not yet shoveled the walk. And although I have cleats, that leaves it unsafe for residents and anyone delivering here. Beyond disgusted. I am hesitant to report to the city because I don't want to get kicked out and these people are shifty as heck.

    Edited to add, she got back to me and said she will drive around to check things out. I did ask if they could leave a shovel and salt so we can also keep ourselves and others safe. I know it is not my job but would rather do extra to keep it safe. Just not willing to buy the supplies.


  • sue51
    sue51 Member Posts: 8

    hi, wd like to ask mara abt herceptin. Have followed her case, very inspiring.

    Do u have it infusion, once in 3 wks? Just herceptin only? No side effects?

    I'm put on herceptin imjection since november 2022 but find it too stròng dosage 600 mg per time. So have asked to do infusion , lower dosage according to body weight. Wd this be helpful in my case? I very unsure abt everything.

    Any comments or advice from anyone wd be most helpful. Thk u.


    My case recurrence in july 2023, breast cancer stage 4 er -pr- her +

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    Sue51, I go for Herceptin every 3 weeks. No major side effects for me. Takes half an hour for the drug. I really don't know much about the injection or if the dosage is higher. Your oncologist can answer about dosages and such. Let me know if you do find out as I am interested to know.

  • sue51
    sue51 Member Posts: 8

    thks mara for reply.

    Injection is a fixed 600 mg per vial. Infusion is given by wt, 6mg/weight, eg 6mg ×50 kg = 300 mg to be infused.

    Wished injection comes in diff dosages, so we can choose dosage.

    I had 2 injections and felt very tired, had bowel problems and problems walking, weak legs, no appetite.

    Onco said all these are side effects of my chemo which are still around after ending abt 3 mths ago. Said dont know when they will go.

    Anyway, hope to switch from injection to infusion to feel better, no guarantee, but afraid of pain n wearing out veins in right hand. (Left not used becos of lumpectomy n removal of sentenel node 3 yrs ago.)


  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,060

    Welcome to the thread sue.

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,745

    Oh man, what a bad day it was.

    TMI warning!

    I spontaneously shit myself while making coffee this morning, that was not fun. Then my breakfast turned gross on me (chemo taste made it bad). I decided to go back to bed and lay around all day. For dinner, DH made spaghetti and meatballs, I had one bite and knew I couldn't eat it (thanks again chemo), so I started to cry because by that point I was hungry and pissed off. No time for blubbering though, I ran for the trailer door to puke all over the steps and side of a trash can. I give up for today, going back to bed.

    I hope everyone is having a good weekend.

  • eleanora
    eleanora Member Posts: 305

    Oh you poor baby! I hope you have nausea meds and something to help you sleep. You just want today to be done so you can try to have a better day tomorrow. You are always so upbeat, supportive and encouraging to everyone who posts. Wish there was something I could do to help.


    Eleanora

  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,745

    Thanks Eleanora. Days like this make normal days that much better. I ended up eating a bowl of fruit loops for dinner, sweets always do the trick when things taste bad, so that was nice

  • tanya_djamila
    tanya_djamila Member Posts: 1,542

    Mae that was a rough day to get through. Is it se’s? Hopefully tomorrow will be boring. Feel better. tanya

  • livingivlife
    livingivlife Member Posts: 454

    Oh Mae what a terrible day it was for you! Hey, Fruit Loops are good for days like you had. Hopefully tomorrow you will feel so much better ☺️

  • elderberry
    elderberry Member Posts: 1,068

    sue51: I have been doing H&P since May 2019. Every three weeks by infusion. I have a port so my veins are spared. I have minimal SE's. Perjeta has given me a permanent rash over my eyebrows. Not sure which one is responsible for The Trots -- but imodium works great.

    illimae: How awful but at least you were at home and not in a line-up in a coffee shop or some place where it would be a hellish moment. Nausea is terrible. I am feeling bad that you felt so bad. Can you eat ice cream? It is bland and sweet.

    Hi everyone else.

  • sue51
    sue51 Member Posts: 8

    Saying hello to everyone. And feeling sorry for people feeling sick. I too am not feeling good.

    thks elderberry for info. I'm still new to herceptin. Have stopped perjeta.

    When i take immodium, i get constipation. Then i have to take laxatives, senna etc to get moving again. Then i get diarrhea and the cycle starts again! This is a huge problem for me. And it really messes up my stomach and mind!

    You dont get constipation after taking immodium? U get back to normal bowel movemt after immodium.

    Anybody, how to stop terrible cycle of diarrhea and constipation? Thks.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    OMG Mae, I am so sorry to hear this. I can imagine how bad this was. I hope rest will ease up symptoms. In your pocket with healing thoughts.

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,743

    illimae, man, we are so sorry!!!

    Sue, yes, what a tough balance it is between diarrhea and constipation!!!!! So sorry you are going this this up and down!

  • sue51
    sue51 Member Posts: 8

    anybody has problem with veins for infusion? Nurses always had difficulty with me.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    Sue, I stopped perjeta when I could not control my bowels. I will let you know how I got out of the constipation and diarrhea cycle. I started eating a lot of beans partly the inexpensive price, more iron but also fiber. I also take digestive enzymes before every meal. This aids in better digestion for me which 99 per cent of the time is normal. I recommend the digestive enzymes even more than probiotics. These drugs we take wipe out our digestive ability, the enzymes can improve things a lot. I like them more than probiotics.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    Sue, forgot to mention that the diarrhea should subside due to dropping Perjeta. Consider the digestive enzymes as well.


  • sue51
    sue51 Member Posts: 8

    Have dropped perjeta for abt a month. Hope to adjust well to herceptin.

    Do u recall how soon diarhea stop after u dropped perjeta?

    Digestive enzymes - before bfast, lunch and dinner?

    Thkks