My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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There’s always a few Mara. My first night in the hospital was spent on a gurney in the hall. Wheeled up in a wheelchair as they didn’t have a gurney available when they shifted me from the ER, I thought I was getting a bed but no. One of the nurses (or nurse’s aid) was busy complaining that they were short staffed and Haden even had their break. Even when I was ensconced on a gurney with all my stuff piled in bed with me, she was still complaining that she hadn’t had her break. Okay, seriously? You haven’t had a break. I’ve spent 10 hours in the ER, in pain, my kidneys are failing. Who’s having a worse day? It was all I could do not to tell her to shut up, that I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about her break! (Which she got BTW.) Thankfully most of the nurses were lovely but I cringed whenever that particular one came into the room. And her bad attitude wasn’t just directed at me. Nurse shortage or not, it’s time for her to think about a career change!
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I am sorry you had to sit there listening to someone whine about a break since you were there such a long time with the bad kidneys. | am not going to say working in an ER that is short staffed for various reasons is not stressful but we all go through stress in our lives. Nurses are also handsomely paid for their hard work and perhaps they need to remind themselves of that fact and be glad they are not working in a long term care home where they get peanuts for all the work they do. As far as yesterdays issue, that nurse is no longer occupying space in my head and turned off my emotions. I don't have time for that. At least I will not have to talk to the cancer clinic about updating my MRI to a time the vascular nurse is there, they have trouble getting my vein so we need one of those. I hope you are feeling better tonight and in your pocket as well.
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Just to clarify, she wasn’t in the ER. She works in the patient ward where I went when I was admitted. I think she would last 10 minutes in the ER. Lo
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That is funny Pat.
I just browned up real ground beef. Was not a lean ground beef so the amount of fat that came out was a little horrifying. Collected the grease in my popcorn bin and put it in the fridge so it can solidify and be put in a bag. Used a towel after that to get the rest. Decided not to boil as that seemed like a big PIA to have to do. To avoid animals coming near the garbage, the bag it is in is sprayed with enzyme and alcohol spray and a lot of baking soda, taped up and by the time it is double bagged for collection, no food smell should come through.
Probably going to have beans, real beef and spinach. 1/2 cup beans, 1/4 cup beef and 1/4 cup of rice or pasta. Will add some dry taco seasoning. Bind with bit of mayo but mostly ketchup. If it needs more seasoning, adding some garlic parmesan to the mix.
Other than that, probably go out for a couple of walks with the cane. Do not actually need to go anywhere so will just walk the neighbourhood and it is sunny so that is good. Laundry is also being done in the background as well.
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So glad you’re home, Sadie! Hope they can get things situated so you can be comfortable, pain free, and fully clothed when you want to be!
Love the beach bar Mae! Perfect for winter afternoons:)
Micmel, thinking of you and your sister. Wishing for good results and some “back to normal” for a while!
Mara, love your “keep moving” approach to life! Don’t let mean folks keep you down…karma will get them!
Things are good here. Boring test results make me so thankful.
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iwrite, im so excited to see your name, feels like it’s been forever, I hope you’re well.
DH and I spent most of Friday in the bar, I had many beers, he started with bloody marys, then gin and tonics. Saturday was spent hungover, lol, that’s how it goes sometimes.
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I dont even remember the last time I even had a hangover. I can't handle alcohol very well. I was always a smoker not a drinker. Not cigarettes either. I didn't like how other people looked all drunk and I didn't want to be that way. So I never got into it. Nor gotin any trouble. Lots of underage drinking during the time period
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iwrite, glad to see you and if the other person acts miserable then they are feeling miserable. I am so glad your results are boring which means they are going well. May that continue.
I feel quite happy today. Didn't exercise but did watch a lot of the show Yellowstone and started Tulsa King which is not bad either so my day was good. This week will be going to Herceptin. Will get the dates needed for the near future and adjust my MRI to a bit earlier with the vascular nurse which is normal. I also found a site that is streaming The Shining TV miniseries which was closer to the book and I prefer to the Kubrick version so that is good.
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Well, catching up on laundry, ate breakfast which consisted of 1/4 rice, 1/4 cup beans and ground up some of the ground beef I cooked up yesterday. Left the fat drained off in the fridge overnight and put into a container so it will not attract wildlife. Might keep the container in the fridge as I could collect more for subsequent meals.
Did my Paul Eugene senior gold workout, the 10 min one on youtube and did it standing. Found I was breathing hard a bit but figure that is due to both arms and legs moving. Aiming for a solid 30 mins per day, everyday. I tell myself I need hours of exercise but not sure my mind accepts that. Doing smaller amount everyday is a start and I could do more if I wish. Not feeling an outdoor walk anyway, have to get garbage and such together.
Budget wise, I realize grocery delivery needs to be once a month vs twice, not looking to eat up all the money in my savings and I need to be able to use gift cards for Walmart to pay for part of it.
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Not much going on here this morning. We're replacing the oven/microwave in our desert house. Long story, kind of a pain, but oh well.
Have been binge-watching Mary Tyler Moore on Amazon Prime Video and knitting scarves and kitchen scrubbies.
I'm tracking my headaches which are getting more frequent and more intense. Will let my MO know if they continue.
Hope everyone has a great (uneventful) day. We're driving home from the desert this morning. Weather is crazy (for us) but DH has a good truck, and we carry chains.
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Not much from here. I read along on how everyone is doing. I have scans in 2 weeks. Of course I am getting anxious. I have been on Lynparza - 2nd line therapy - for over a year now. I got 4 years out of Ibrance, so maybe I will get more time out of Lynparza. But who knows. My MO has not discussed her plans for my next treatment. I posted on the Bone Mets Thread recently about my use of Xgeva. You can read my posts, and the responses, on there.
I have not been doing much still-- fear of crowds and germs, icky feelings with GI upset and fatigue, and the chronic pain I have with my joint issues. I get bored and lonely. Still wish I was a "normal" 52 year old with a job and activities with friends. But it is what it is.
Saying HI to all on here. I have not forgotten you.
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Hi Candy - there is no normal with this frickin’ disease despite what the drug commercials would have us believe. It sucks for us all in one way or another. At least you have folks here who understand. I miss so much of my former life (b/4 MBC) but I’ve always said that if we all threw our shoes in a pile, I would take mine back because I know the problems that were in them. I know wintertime can be extra hard - less daylight and lately everything has been cloudy. But at least we turned the corner and the days are slowly getting longer. I could sure use some vitamin D☀️☀️☀️☀️. That always lifts my spirits. Sending you hugs and sunshine dear sister
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just checking in to see how you lovelies are doing. It was a quick weekend. But at least a long one for most people. One day was a huge day when you had a company holiday. Sometimes I miss the feeling of independence of working and feeling like mamas bringing home the bacon. I miss feeling strong. I miss everything that made me who I used to be. It’s really sad. Somedays all I can do is cry. We all have us been dealt the brown, bent, shit cards . Hope everyone is doing at least ok today.
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Candy, goldens and Mel, good to see you all. I miss working myself as well.
Candy, in your pocket for scans.
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Good morning, all. mel, I'm sorry you're having a down day. They suck. Thinking of you and your sister.
Pocket duty for those who need it.
My DH and I got to visit with a couple of former neighbors. They stopped by with pastries from one of our favorite bakeries. We had a wonderful visit. The daughter is all grown up, such a lovely young lady.
You all will get this: We were talking with our neighbors about cancer, humor and so forth. He was telling them he needs to make sure he has all the passwords to our bank and other accounts. Then he said that I still haven't told him how I make my spaghetti sauce. My reply was something along the lines of him not needing me once I gave him the recipe and he'd probably stop paying our insurance premiums. I decided my next blog post will be, "Spaghetti Sauce and Passwords." What do you think?
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Sunshine, that is a great name for a blog post. I have to do the same for my older brother as my passwords are ridiculous. Think I will give the computer password and he can get in through google.
What a difference between departments. I had to reschedule my MRI app't so left message yesterday at the MRI dept letting them know I need M-F in case the port needs to be accessed so that was done within couple of hours. Then I phoned my RO office to update the appointment since the new one is over a month later and they called within an hour and were quite nice. I am keeping a pad of paper and pen nearby, I don't write that slow and can just add to phone calendar later. Both departments were nice about it and I really appreciated that.
Made a breakfast of noodles and added caesar and steak seasoning. It was really gross, almost threw it out. Decided to blend up with some beans and beefless ground with taco sauce. Could still taste the gross parts but it did not taste too bad, so put the rest of the noodles in a container and will simply rinse off, still blend with beans and put different stuff, maybe make a spaghetti type dish for supper.
Going grocery shopping tonight with DB, going to try to be better about what I buy. See how cheap I can go for some extra canned veggies. Fresh is beyond what I want to spend.
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Well, got used to relying on seeing older DB almost weekly and shopping but it turns out that he had a really positive job interview for a job outside the city. I felt sad right away and stomped on those feelings and told him that I hope he gets it. If he moved, obviously, I would be a little more on my own but I could not expect him to stay in the city for me. I feel selfish for even having a bit of sadness. Will keep that to myself. I know that I can look after shopping and having heavy items delivered. I hope he gets the job because he has worked hard and it would start him at the level he wants and they would be near friends. I will continue to tell myself to get over myself. Might need to keep saying that as well. I will miss not seeing him and my SIL weekly. Oh well. Got through losing my mom and younger brother, this is less to deal with.
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Mara,
Good for you for trying to being happy for your brother even though it might make your life more difficult. I don't think you need to stomp on your feelings-feel them but also let yourself feel happy and proud for his success if he gets the new job. Would it be far away? You have proven to be very resilient in taking care of yourself but naturally you would miss their company on your weekly visits. Hope that everything works out for the best.
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Chicagoan, it is not super far away and only 58 miles from London to Cambridge. I guess it was just the thought of not seeing him each week but I want him to get the job he wants. He is a hard worker, constantly learning and would be an asset anywhere. We will see what happens. Depending on housing prices, they could move somewhere in between. We'll see. Not feeling as sad as I am hopeful my brother gets the job.
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Mara - you are one awesome sister! I know it’s more than the help you get - it’s the personal interaction with family. But bravo for thinking about your brother - and I’m going to guess he has some concerns about moving away should he get the job. Sounds like the distance won’t be too bad and something tells me you’ll have regular visits - maybe not as often but from all your posts it sure seems like there is a true closeness between you two
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Hi everyone, ive been reading along but keeping quiet, waiting for news from the surgeon, which I finally got today, she's finally given the go ahead to start chemo, who'd have thought anyone would be wanting to have chemo but my tumor markers have been climbing weekly and the cancer has been spreading so next week I'll probably start, my mind is like a sieve, I've forgotten what it will be, something unpleasant I'm sure but if it gets this beast back under control it will be worth it. I went for a walk to the beach yesterday, first time in a while. It was a beautiful day. I hope everyone is doing as well as they can and staying safe.
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Two terrible walks to and from the cancer clinic. My balance was way off, cane helped steady it some but it felt like I was being pushed forward. I did make without tripping but when I went to my bathroom, I almost pitched forward into the tub. Thinking I need to walk more often to build up legs and balance as well. I did make it both ways without falling but felt very insecure. I see some mall walking in my future. Could also be my body would not let me sleep at all last night other than the odd hour. Not sure. Herceptin went a little weird. The first nurse hit the wrong spot on my port and moved it around which hurt. She tried again and struck out, I asked her not to move it around. Another nurse came and got it in which was good. First nurse apologized but I told I am wimpy and not to worry. I just listened to music and watched youtube. I am going to practice walking more for sure. I should not feel insecure.
I do use the walking sticks for walks around the mall etc but I need to fold up a cane so purchased one off Amazon and will use two. I don't like my walker at all but the second cane should give me more stability and I can put it in my over the shoulder bag. We will see how it goes.
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Kittykat, for some reason my first message to you did not come through so in your pocket for whatever chemo they put you on so it knocks down that nasty cancer.
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Kittykat- in your pocket for upcoming chemo treatments. May the SE be kind on your body while the chemo does its job. The beach is beautiful especially for us going through our winter season. It's a time to just breathe and be in that moment. Hugs to you!
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KittyKat - joining for pocket duty!
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Here for pocket duty. Kitty hope you're doing better.
mara, I've also been having some Balance issues as well. It's annoying me. I constantly fall or stumble. I'm Being very careful. I’ve been put on new pain meds since they are dooseys it’s made me a little uneasy on my feet. Sucks actually.I hope everyone else is managing. Hugs and love to all.
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kitty here for pocket duty.
Mara that happened to me with the port when I got my MRI they tried to move the needle bc it wading placed correctly. Dumb nurse.
Take care al
Tanya
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Mel, my plan going forward is to check balance with one cane and bust out the other one since it folds up. Carry it in my crossbody bag. Meanwhile short outdoor walks everyday. or up and down the hallway too in the building if bad weather.
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Kitty:
It’s going to be a party in there…going to need a great BIG pocket!!!! I’ll be in there laughing and dancing.
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candy- if I remember correctly you were having scans this week. In your pocket for scans and results
Elderberry- if you are reading along I hope everything is OK with you
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