May 15, 2022 04:08PM exbrnxgrl wrote:
thank you nopink. As the years go by, I feel increasingly irrelevant here. Old school tx and, except for one life threatening complication, I’ve have an easy time compared to most. I even like my medical team, though my long time mo had the nerve to move back to her home country 😉. I did recently experience a terrible coverage snafu with Medicare blaming my providers and my providers blaming Medicare. It appears to be resolved but it hurts my head to think about it.
You know that I also feel helpless. My fondest wish is to figure out why I have done so well. Then I wouldn’t feel so helpless and irrelevant here. I should also say that I am struggling more emotionally now than I was at dx over 10 years ago. I just see a giant clock always ticking down. It looks just like the clock of the time dragon from the set of Wicked. I know many are thinking, Oh, shut up and be grateful, but on the spectrum of feelings experienced by mbc patients, I think my feelings and circumstances are as valid as any.