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Topic: STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts —

Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 12:21PM - edited Aug 2, 2017 01:46AM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Posts 7171 - 7200 (7,342 total)

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Dec 20, 2020 11:08AM MountainMia wrote:

I've mostly tried to just keep moving through this year. There's been a lot of frustration, a lot of anger. But I try not to live there, just experience how I feel and then keep moving.

But truth: this year sucks.


The rain comes and the rain goes, but the mountain remains. I am the mountain.
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Dec 20, 2020 12:33PM cm2020 wrote:

MountainMia....I could have written what you just wrote, word for word. It has definitely been a trash heap of a year. I'm sorry your year has been the same as mine.

Dx 3/20/2020, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 4/2/2020, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/5/2020 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Hormonal Therapy 4/24/2020 Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy 6/10/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Dec 20, 2020 04:40PM bcincolorado wrote:

May we all have a better 2021!!!!

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Dec 20, 2020 04:47PM Poppy_90 wrote:

BC, I’ll happily toast to that for us all

Dx 5/1/2020, IDC, Right, 2cm, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 5/29/2020 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 10/5/2020 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/5/2020 Breast
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Dec 21, 2020 12:28PM ctmbsikia wrote:

I am very hopeful that I will turn a corner in 2021, however it seems 2020 is not done with us yet.

1. Still have a sewer problem. Landlord is on the 3rd plumber trying to figure it out. It is absolute madness. Some days are fine, others not.

2. My daughter came home Saturday with her laundry, Sunday morning her boyfriend informs her he is positive for covid19. She packed up and left and is getting tested today. She also has an appt. for a test tomorrow. She wants to be sure I guess. They saw each other Friday. She can't tell if she's sick from stress or sick, but she seems to be functioning OK today in talking to her. I have a stomach ache just took some immodium. Nice way to spend my day off, on the toilet in a stinky bathroom. I just called the plumber guy to report it.

3. Depending on the outcome of covid tests, we may have to cancel our plans to go to a rented beach house the day after Christmas to Jan. 2. I did purchase the travel insurance so I really don't care either way. We're cutting it awful close being there's a holiday this week. What if we don't get results in a day or 2? Screwed!

4. As I open my computer today, I see a letter in my portal that I haven't yet scheduled my short term follow up mammogram of left breast---get this---that's due in MARCH!!!! Can I not think about it right now? Just this one little email has triggered my bc anxiety. I already need to schedule MRI for Jan, see the MO in Jan which means labs, and what to do about my bones during this AI therapy crap that is thinning my hair on a daily basis. I hate my hair!!! I also have a dentist appt (could cancel that), and the GP gave me an order for the calcium score test. The radiology dept. is going to love me setting all this up. Then, here comes the bills. I just received one for 469.00 from September mammo. I really hope I don't go broke trying to take care of myself on one income.

5. Do I go into the office tomorrow? I think I will since I really don't know if I'm sick or not. Unless my stomach doesn't calm down, but I think it will be OK. They gave me a new computer and I have zero patience to figure out how to load programs that I need to work from home. I'll see how I am in the morning. I'm done thinking for today, a day off! Ha

Wishing you all the best Holiday you can manage in these trying times! Peace too.

Dx 12/14/2017, DCIS/IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 1/16/2018, LCIS, Right Surgery 1/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/10/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 6/25/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Dec 21, 2020 04:17PM bcincolorado wrote:

Hug I pray for fast results to come back so you will be able to make plans at least. Be safe. May you be able to get your plumbing fixed finally soon as well!

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Dec 21, 2020 04:29PM edj3 wrote:

Gently and with love and respect, ctmbsikia please don't go into work tomorrow if you don't yet have your results. You don't know you're sick but equally you don't know that you are not. Why be a potential vector?

Tried the tamoxifen, no thanks. Dx 4/9/2019, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 5/6/2019, LCIS, Left, <1cm, 0/1 nodes Surgery 5/6/2019 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 6/3/2019 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 9/23/2019 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Dec 21, 2020 07:15PM Betrayal wrote:

I second the above recommendation since GI symptoms can be part of the Covid spectrum. If the shoe were on the other foot, how would you feel if a co-worker came to work with an unknown status? Negative test results have occurred when the person is incubating Covid and your daughter has been in contact with a known case. Better to be safe than sorry.

Surgery 1/31/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 1/31/2016 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 3/3/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 3/30/2016 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 6/24/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 5/18/2017 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 6/15/2020 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Dec 21, 2020 11:55PM kathindc wrote:

I recommend staying home until you’re sure you’re negative. My daughter had covid and she dealt with over two months of GI issues. It was so bad she dehydrated twice and had to get IV fluids.

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Dec 22, 2020 11:55AM ctmbsikia wrote:

Just to clarify, I am person C in this scenario. I do not know that I've had an actual exposure to the virus. My daughter has. She got a test yesterday, and is getting another one today. She started her quarantine the minute she found out. If she tests positive and I become person B, then yes I'm required to quarantine. I alerted my boss yesterday, he said you always wear your mask and social distance, and they were Ok with me coming in. I've been transparent with other co workers as well. My environment here is an 8x10 cubicle and I am not in close contact with anyone for longer than 1-2 minutes, the number people I see (from a distance) is less than 10-somdays 5 or less. It's a small company. I do meetings via computer and will not go into the conference room.

I let my worry and fears get ahead of me yesterday when I nervously asked that question, and I think some of you misunderstood. IF my daughter were to test positive and has spread it to me on the 19th, I would not be contagious as of yet if I'm understanding all I've read correctly. Going by what contact my daughter had with her boyfriend-Sun. the 13th, and Fri. the 18th- which during last week he did develop mild symptoms, got tested the 18th and results on Sun. the 20th. If she was infected by him on the 13th, then the tests she's getting now I would trust those results. If she possibly got infected on the 18th, it may be too soon for a test to pick up any virus and I would not trust those results.

Dx 12/14/2017, DCIS/IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 1/16/2018, LCIS, Right Surgery 1/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/10/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 6/25/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Dec 22, 2020 05:06PM bcincolorado wrote:

Thought I would send some cheer everyone's way today---Funny video---COVID Christmas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sX6_mRlxvVc&feature=youtu.be

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Dec 22, 2020 06:44PM Sunshine99 wrote:

bc, that's awesome. I already shared it! Thanks for the humor.

Carol

Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul. Dx 11/2/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 3/26/2020, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/5/2020 External: Bone Radiation Therapy 5/12/2020 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 6/10/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Dec 22, 2020 06:59PM bcincolorado wrote:

Glad you got a good laugh! Merry Christmas everyone!

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Dec 23, 2020 07:01PM AliceBastable wrote:

I found out today that my good friend and cancer mentor, who helped me get through my two cancers in 2018 without my head exploding, is now in hospice. Damn. She's trying to make it through spring when her youngest daughter graduates from college, but she thinks that might be an iffy goal. Damn. I love her attitude, because all the latest treatments have made her terribly sick, so now that she's through with them, she's planning to pig out on all her favorite foods. But, damn.

It's been said many times: fuck cancer.

Endometrial cancer 2010, basal cell multiples, breast cancer 2018, kidney cancer 2018. Boring. Dx 5/2018, ILC/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/10/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 8/7/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/29/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Dec 23, 2020 07:24PM MountainMia wrote:

I'm really sorry, Alice. That's hard news.

The rain comes and the rain goes, but the mountain remains. I am the mountain.
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Dec 23, 2020 07:28PM MelissaDallas wrote:

I’m sorry about your friend Alice

LCIS, extensive sclerosing adenosis, TAH/BSO & partial omentectomy for mucinous borderline ovarian tumor.
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Dec 23, 2020 07:28PM Trishyla wrote:

I'm with you on that. Alice. I found out today that a friend, who has been battling Stage IV Ovarian cancer, has been told she's out of treatment options. She's having to decide whether or not to go on hospice. She's 43.

Another friend, who's only 32, is losing her battle with a rare form of melanoma. I hate 2020, almost as much as I hate cancer.


Dx 8/30/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/30/2016, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 9/6/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 9/28/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 4/4/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Chemotherapy 8/4/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Dec 23, 2020 07:37PM Spookiesmom wrote:

awwww Alice. Sorry to hear that.

Reoccurrence 3-19. Dx IDC, Stage IIIA, Grade 3
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Dec 23, 2020 08:28PM Beesie wrote:

AliceBastable, I'm so sorry about your friend. Cancer stinks.

Trishyla, to you as well, I'm sorry about your friends.

Just sitting here shaking my head, thinking about what an awful year it's been. Of course cancer is awful whatever the year.

ctmbsikia, any word yet on your daughter's test results? I sure hope it's negative.


“No power so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.” Edmund Burke
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Dec 23, 2020 08:59PM Poppy_90 wrote:

Alice and trishyla, I am so sorry. That has to be very hard. My thoughts are with you both

Dx 5/1/2020, IDC, Right, 2cm, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 5/29/2020 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 10/5/2020 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/5/2020 Breast
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Dec 23, 2020 09:04PM Beaverntx wrote:

Alice and Trishlya, what horrible news as we approach what has been a horrible year. Sending virtual hugs!

Diagnosed at age 77-- Oncotype 17, dealing with this bump in the road of life!!🎆 Dx 1/24/2018, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 1/30/2018, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0 Surgery 1/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 3/11/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Surgery 6/15/2018 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Dec 23, 2020 09:12PM ctmbsikia wrote:

Alice, I’m so sorry to hear that. Wising your friend some peace. You are a rock!


Trish, sorry to hear as well. I get especially sad (and angry) when I see the young ages! Is God not playing fair? Please! Peace be with you and your friends

I’m so tired I am ok though, really. My daughter did 2 covid tests One was neagative. No results yet on the 2nd Her boyfriend has had on and off symptoms Today was an on day for him. Healso had a follow up up test and is still positive. We are all separated. I cancelled our travel rental today.


Dx 12/14/2017, DCIS/IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 1/16/2018, LCIS, Right Surgery 1/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/10/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 6/25/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Dec 23, 2020 09:48PM bcincolorado wrote:

Hugs to all of you. I'm so sorry Alice about friend. May 2021 be better for us all.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Dec 23, 2020 10:30PM Ammie wrote:

Fuck cancer. Fuck you. I don’t have the time or patience for you. Because of you, I’m stuck going to endless dr appointments and diagnostic tests and now don’t even have time to do Christmas shopping for my loved ones. You have taken the life of enough loved ones and you are now fucking with the wrong person. I will be strangling you and crushing your windpipe like you can never imagine.

Dx 12/9/2020, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+
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Dec 23, 2020 10:36PM - edited Dec 23, 2020 10:37PM by AliceBastable

Thank you all so much. I'm kind of terrified for her because last year a mutual friend entered hospice on a Friday night and passed the next morning - so I anticipate a lot of anxiety in the coming months. I hope it's "months" in the plural. And I hope I can keep somewhat chipper for her because she relies on me for frequent doses of nuttiness and humor.

Trishlya, a huge hug for you.

Let's get rid of this year and hope the burdens we have, whether physical, emotional, financial, or whatever, are lightened in the next year. And may the burdens that aren't lightened be faced with strength and love, for ourselves and others.

Endometrial cancer 2010, basal cell multiples, breast cancer 2018, kidney cancer 2018. Boring. Dx 5/2018, ILC/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/10/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 8/7/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/29/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Dec 23, 2020 11:31PM Trishyla wrote:

Thank you, all of you wonderful women. I've been so angry about what my friends are going through. I want to see them, and give them a hug and just be there for them, but I can't. This Pandemic is nipping at cancer's heels as far as being the suckiest thing in existence.

I'd like to give you a different perspective on hospice, Alice. My mother had stage IV lung cancer and had exhausted all treatment options in September 2009. After almost 2 months without treatment, she finally accepted that she needed more support than my sister and I could provide. She started hospice in November 2009. What followed was eight months of love and sadness, hilarity, kindness and an affirmation of our unbreakable bond.

Before she died in July of 2010, she thanked her hospice nurse for making her last months so much fun. Hospice doesn't have to be a time of overwhelming sadness. It can be a time of celebrating a life well lived. I sincerely hope that will be the case for your friend and mine.

Trish

Dx 8/30/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/30/2016, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 9/6/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 9/28/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 4/4/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Chemotherapy 8/4/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Dec 24, 2020 02:27AM AliceBastable wrote:

Trishyla

I had an aunt who used hospice during the last year of her life and it was so much better than anything the family could have done, so I know the positives. I'm just still adjusting to a dear friend dying so quickly last year, especially since I had planned to ask if she was up to going to lunch when it got a little warmer. The last message I'd heard from her didn't sound like she was as sick as she must have been.


Endometrial cancer 2010, basal cell multiples, breast cancer 2018, kidney cancer 2018. Boring. Dx 5/2018, ILC/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/10/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Surgery 8/7/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/29/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Dec 24, 2020 07:31AM DogMomRunner wrote:

I am sorry to hear about your friends Alice and Trishyla. I hope their days are filled with peace and love no matter how long they may have.

My MIL had a wonderful hospice nurse. She was able to be at home with my FIL and my husband when she passed. I am so grateful that my husband made it in time to be there

You ain't run far enough to say My legs have failed You ain't gone far enough You ain't worked hard enough You ain't run far enough to say It ain't gonna get any better. Nathaniel Rateliff Dx 4/24/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/8 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 5/16/2019 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Targeted Therapy 6/5/2019 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 6/5/2019 Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 9/21/2019 Whole-breast: Breast
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Dec 24, 2020 01:50PM Harley07 wrote:

Alice and Trishlya - I'm so sorry for what you and your friends are going through. Sending caring wishes and hugs to get through these difficult times.

Each of my parents were in hospice at the end of their lives. The nurses were angels and I am forever grateful for their kindness, compassion and caring.

May 2021 be kinder and gentler for all.



Surgery 11/5/2020 Lumpectomy: Right Dx 11/10/2020, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/19/2020 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 1/7/2021 Hormonal Therapy 2/8/2021 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Dec 27, 2020 09:03AM ctmbsikia wrote:

Good Sunday morning! My only vent which I’m already over is a lot of messages and calls I received these people expected me to be in pieces but I’m not. Didn’t you always long for a Christmas of doing next to nothing? I’m allowed to feel what I feel when I feel it.

My daughter tested negative twice for covid. Her boyfriend is sick with it. Following guidelines sheis quarantined until the 28th. I cancelled the beach rental. I “felt” my late husbands support while canceling. It just wasn’t meant to be. I saw a few folks Christmas Day scattered and short. I’m feeling fine. I think my symptoms were either self inflicted or I was just a bundle of nerves this past week. I cooked a small prime rib roast and made dinner to go for my daughter. She stayed in the car. My son and I ate together. I made his girlfriend dinner to go as well since she was having a bad day. When we can be together will do gifts then.

Wishing you all a peaceful day. This year is almost over. Pic attached is daughter and boyfriend.

Dx 12/14/2017, DCIS/IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 1/16/2018, LCIS, Right Surgery 1/30/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 4/10/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 6/25/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole)

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