Topic: STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Forum: Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around anxiety, depression & other emotional effects.

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 11:21AM - edited Aug 2, 2017 12:46AM by sas-schatzi

Posted on: Jul 16, 2015 11:21AM - edited Aug 2, 2017 12:46AM by sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

This thread is meant to be for RANTS and RANTING. Then Rant again. We need a place to simply get rid of the anger. Write it here. Unleash it all. Get it out. This isn't meant for the Stupid comments(great thread). This is for the gut wrenching, tell them off anger.

IMPORTANT: When done ranting don't necessarily stick around. Toxic. Drop the rant and find a better thread.

Only rules: Please, follow them as the Mods will shut it down in a heartbeat( waving Mods)

1. Be careful to not mention docs, nurses, hospitals by name. Defamation and all that tedious legal stuff

2. If it's caused by someone on BCO, just don't mention their name. I think the exception will be if someone is stalking you, blow their anonymity wide open. A stalker doesn't deserve politeness.

3. If you think the rant is about you, let it go, they're no names. Don't take it personal. This is the steam room.

4. If they're is a fight, don't expect the Mods to moderate, it was your choice to come here.

5. After writing a rant, do nothing more, re-read at a future time. Decide if it's important enough for you to cut and paste the rant to whomever caused you the anger. It's a choice. Sometimes it needs to be done, but remember they're can be fall out.

6. ######## pound those keys, SCREAM(caps), J*&R$WSDF&(swear)

7. Religion and politics discussion should go to those topical threads. IF their is something that impacts cancer, it belongs here.

I will revise topic box as needed-sassy

For puking and the color works pukeewogh

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jul 19, 2015 04:44PM PoppyK wrote:

How about all of those friends who are "there for you" and "want to help"? Where the hell are they?

How about the, "Well if I had cancer, I would just cut them off!" comments. Or the "Did they have to cut them off?" questions? Seriously? Everyone of us would cut them off if it was a 100% cure. And it's no one's business if I had a mx.

How about my mom who just looks sad, cries and makes it all about her? For goodness sake, I'm fighting cancer. I shouldn't have to put energy in making sure everyone else is okay with my having cancer. I know I'm not the only one here on the boards having to manage others people's reactions to our cancer.

Poppy Dx 5/20/2014, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/22/2014 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Chemotherapy 9/22/2014 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/27/2014 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 3/10/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jul 19, 2015 05:23PM queenmomcat wrote:

Today's steamfest for me: pre-existing medical conditions that complicate the cancer treatment.....which our oncologists do not consider! Plopping this one firmly in the court of how compartmentalized Western medicine. We stand before you, a whole human being. You cannot treat our breasts in isolation. Body image. Fear of needles. Allergy to medications or equipment. Already weakened immune systems. Cognitive dysfunctions that interfere with your ability to tolerate treatment, or even understand what is being done to you. And social issues is a whole nother kettle of worms.

Poppy: gah. Already run into the 'how to divert energy from coping with treatment and decisions' to 'handling how others handle my diagnosis'. My sympathy!

Dx 5/27/2015, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery 7/7/2015 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 8/31/2015 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 12/9/2015 Reconstruction (left)
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Jul 19, 2015 11:05PM - edited Jul 20, 2015 02:25PM by yj2012

This Post was deleted by yj2012.
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Jul 20, 2015 02:09AM - edited Feb 8, 2018 04:34AM by meow13

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Jul 20, 2015 07:54AM tangandchris wrote:

I'm pissed....I'm sick of worrying, sick of doctors, sick of questioning myself....sick of being depressed...sick of hating the way I look. I'm pissed that BC took my breasts, took my sex life, took my sanity.

I'm pissed that I can't seem to get myself out of this mental slump. I HATE taking Tamoxifen...HATE it. I have skipped 2 months at a time and now I'm back on it and I feel like crap. My joints hurt, my emotions feel unstable, and I can't sleep.

I'm pissed that I have to go see MO today, she's not going to know what to tell me IF I tell her about any of this. We've been round and round and her bottom line is that I MUST take Tamoxifen. Well, maybe I won't!! I mean how much of a difference is it really making?

I'm pissed at all the uncertainties about cancer tx and "survivorship". It's all a waiting game, that is what this feels like.

I'm pissed that one of the ways I've had to learn to cope is that I just mentally have prepared myself for it coming back. I'm just waiting for the inevitable to happen. Yeah I know it's crazy and unhealthy, but it's what I do.


My reconstruction with TE's failed...had them removed because of infection. I am still unsure of if or when I will try again. Dx 10/24/2013, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 6/25 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/22/2013 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left); Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right); Prophylactic mastectomy; Prophylactic mastectomy (Left); Reconstruction (Left): Tissue Expander Chemotherapy 2/12/2014 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Dx 10/2020, Stage IV, metastasized to other, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 20, 2015 09:45AM sas-schatzi wrote:

tang......me too

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride".
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Jul 20, 2015 11:04AM eellek wrote:

Sitting here in tears... I am very lucky I don't have to have chemo and I am so Thankful but I have a million things going on in my head. Im scared of radiation, have no one to talk to... just scared, frustrated and more... The lady that takes the insurance info called today, said my insurance ended May 12, 2015. I explained the lady in pre testing for surgery said my insurance was good until june 30. Hubby put in his 4 weeks notice before I was diagnosed. I didn't ask for this.!!!!!!! He went to the new job about a week after I was diagnosed. so insurance has started yet with the new job. The surgery was not covered...I guess. She gave me the Finiancial aid paperwork... Im so upset.! I don't have a clue how to fill it out... I cant find hubbys pay stubs from previous job, I have from current job... I have 2 part time jobs... I cant find my paystubs from the one job, and the other job only does online pay stubs because my check is directly deposited. Im worried about feeding my sons, paying the bills on the house... I was released to go back to work but because they were slow going I cant go back till next week sometime... I am just so scared, frustrated, and all alone. I have no one to talk to about BC. Still cry about it. It has really scared me.!

Kelly. 39 at diagnosis, Oncotype dx # 7 Dx 5/8/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery 6/7/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 7/22/2015 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Jul 20, 2015 12:06PM MeToo14 wrote:

eellek I know just how you feel. I know how everyone feels. I remember waiting for the biopsy results and telling my husband that I can't have cancer we can't afford it. I knew it would financially devastate us. It has. We live paycheck to paycheck. I didn't have insurance and put off getting it until the last minute when the law forced me to. I knew months before that that something was wrong but I just couldn't afford insurance. I almost killed myself because medical care is too expensive. My husband has a new job with great benefits but the hole is already dug. I am grateful though that I am still going, still working ( two jobs), still have a house and still able to make payments.

Cancer sucks, I hate that I will never be the same. I hate that I will never have children. I hate that people suck. I hate that I look like shit. I hate that I am going to spend the rest of my life always having in the back of my head that this will come back. Tomorrow I start hormone therapy, I hope it goes well!

Thank you for listening!


35 when diagnosed. I had isolated tumor cells in my nodes and was told I am considered node negative, I do not. Dx 7/2014, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/3 nodes, ER+, HER2- Chemotherapy 7/13/2014 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 11/24/2014 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Surgery 12/25/2014 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 1/1/2015 Carboplatin (Paraplatin) Radiation Therapy 4/27/2015 Hormonal Therapy 7/19/2015 Aromasin (exemestane), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Jul 20, 2015 12:19PM MeToo14 wrote:

I want to clarify the "almost killed myself" statement. I meant that because I put off getting medical treatment that I put myself in the position to possibly have the the cancer spread. I want to live and continue to fight everyday!

35 when diagnosed. I had isolated tumor cells in my nodes and was told I am considered node negative, I do not. Dx 7/2014, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 2/3 nodes, ER+, HER2- Chemotherapy 7/13/2014 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 11/24/2014 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Surgery 12/25/2014 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 1/1/2015 Carboplatin (Paraplatin) Radiation Therapy 4/27/2015 Hormonal Therapy 7/19/2015 Aromasin (exemestane), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Jul 20, 2015 12:45PM - edited Jul 20, 2015 12:47PM by ShetlandPony

Sisters,please find out if there is an oncology social worker at your hospital. He/she will be someone to talk to and someone to help with practical things like financial and insurance problems.

2011 Stage I ITCs sn, premenopausal, Oncotype 16. 2014 Stage IV mets breast,liver. TaxolNEAD. Ibrance+letrozole 2yrs. Fas+afinitor nope. XelodaNEAD 2yrs. Eribulin,Doxil nope. SUMMIT FaslodexHerceptinNeratinib for Her2mut NEAD 1 1/2yrs. GI/perit mets Dx 2011, ILC, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2014, ILC, 2cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/other, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast Surgery Lumpectomy

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