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All TopicsForum: Biographies and Inspiring Stories → Topic: "The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"

Topic: "The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"

Forum: Biographies and Inspiring Stories —

Share your personal story, diagnosis, and treatment path, and stories of survival, hope, and success to encourage and inspire others!

Posted on: Sep 7, 2011 07:04PM - edited Jun 7, 2012 10:29PM by ToriGirl

ToriGirl wrote:

Sisters,

I think we can always use another "feel good" thread, so I thought this one would be a good one to go with...

I know we already have a thread for the dumbest and worst things people have said to you during our journeys, but how about the most encouraging things said to or done for you?

I've read many posts throughout BC.org where doctors, nurses, techs, therapists, friends, spouses, partners, family members and other survivors have been exactly where we have needed them to be at the right time and said exactly what we needed to hear when we needed it the most.  (Or for that matter, have DONE exactly what what we needed them to do without even asking)

These are the words and acts of kindness that have stuck with us, whether it was from early on when we first got our diagnosis to when we ended active treatment and started to move on with our new "normal". They kept us going and continue to do so, as we move onto better, happier, and healthier days ahead.

Please share these comments, stories, remarks, acts of kindness, quotes, (whatever you'd like), that have most encouraged you and still encourage you today...OR share how you have "paid it forward" to someone else who is going through this journey, when they needed it most.  Whatever your heart has to share, please feel free to do so.

What you share today, may be the one thing that someone on the board needs to hear right now.

Thanks so much! 

Tori 

DE COLORES! 

"Sorrow carves the opening for joy later..." Dx 6/4/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, 1/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Posts 331 - 360 (366 total)

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Jan 6, 2017 01:48AM Freya wrote:

NYCexec, it is lovely that you connected in that way :)

When I told one of my staff, also a friend, that I had BC, her response surprised me. She told me that I could be as intimidating as all hell, and that the cancer would soon learn it was pointless in trying to take me on.

It always makes me laugh when I think of that, for one I have never thought of myself as intimidating, just decisive with common sense. I'm now stage IV, although still doing well, so perhaps I need to up the intimidation factor Winking

Dx 2009, ILC/IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 14/22 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jan 6, 2017 01:56AM Meow13 wrote:

I think the numbers give me some comfort every year that passes with NED the risk of returning goes down even for er+ cancer. The oncodx number was one of the most tramatic pieces of information I received. A huge 34 burned into my brain, It is just a number but so much importance is placed on it. I feel after 5 years the piece of paper is fading away and forgotten. I have not only hope but a good prognosis.

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Jan 9, 2017 11:55AM bcincolorado wrote:

Wonderful story. Thank you for sharing!

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Feb 16, 2017 08:50PM Fiftyyears wrote:

Me: Stats showed that stage3 has a 75% chance to live X yrs, 25% to lI've pass Y yrs.

Me: How many years do you think I can live.

Husband: 50! Because that's how long I'm gonna live too! 😍😍😍


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Feb 16, 2017 08:52PM cliff wrote:

" daddy, I'm Pregnant" just days after my surgery for stage 4 breast cancer.

Dx 3/16/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, 2/21 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 3/31/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Feb 16, 2017 09:06PM Hopfull2 wrote:

my sister sent me a message before doing my 1st chemo treatment and told me she always admired me but now she admires me even more for being so strong

E🌺37yrs.old/ oncotype score 39 Dx 7/5/2016, DCIS/IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/7/2016 Mastectomy: Right Surgery 9/15/2016 Mastectomy Chemotherapy 11/10/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 3/23/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 6/9/2017 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Latissimus dorsi flap, Tissue expander placement
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Feb 16, 2017 09:27PM wallan wrote:

The best thing that was said to me first time was by my radiologist - "I can erase this from your life so its a bad memory". I could have kissed him.

This time around - a friend of mine took me for a spa day with her, her treat, the day before my SNB.

And this time: A coworker from work called me when I took time off and told me to keep putting one foot in front of the other and that I will be back at work. He and I were not close and I thought for a man in management to call and be encouraging was really something.


Dx 3/29/2004, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 2/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/31/2004 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 6/1/2004 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 12/1/2004 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Dx 1/25/2017, LCIS/DCIS/ILC/IDC/IDC: Mucinous/IDC: Cribriform, Left, <1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/8/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Feb 21, 2017 03:41AM - edited Feb 21, 2017 03:43AM by tessu

I was paralyzed with anxiety over a biopsy of a new lump, and also horribly ashamed and frustrated that yes every new odd "thing" in my body set off yet another cancer scare. My best friend's text gave me enormous relief. I'm still waiting for pathology results, but somehow am not so miserable because she gave me permission to be scared:



Be gentle with yourself. Dx 7/29/2015, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Hormonal Therapy 12/20/2016 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy CEF Surgery Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab)
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May 13, 2017 08:24PM Dafne wrote:

There are many great things my husband, mom, family and friends told me during the BC journey (I just won't permit myself to count the bullshit, negative ones lol), but one particular comment gave a very strange feeling of calmness and helped me a lot at a very fragile and stressful time. It was a couple days after my bilateral mastectomy and I was still at the hospital. An old lady was a patient in the bed next to mine, and her son was there for a visit. We chatted a little and I needed to get up and move around, you know still having the dreaded drains and feeling like a truck had run over me. I was in great pain and moaning but tried to make a lousy bittersweet joke about my looks. Then, this guy, turns to me and tells me "Why do you say that? You are beutiful, you are an amazon now. Be proud of yourself and your courage".

He made me cry, (very very emotional back then), but somehow he helped me a lot. I still remember his words everytime I'm in pain and I get frustrated over this.

Dear cancer, thank you for making me stop and listen and remember what's really important. You can go now. Surgery 10/25/2016 Lumpectomy: Left, Right Dx 11/1/2016, DCIS/IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 11/1/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/28/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Dx 5/2017, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 16, 2017 09:10AM bcincolorado wrote:

My breast surgeon told me I had "nice cancer". Crazy as it seems it was encouraging that I would come out on the other side of surgery and treatment at some point.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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May 19, 2017 08:00AM KB870 wrote:

A couple of ladies at the YMCA told me that I was an inspiration to others because I kept swimming through Chemo and never hid anything, no wigs or caps. That was a pleasant surprise to me because I had never thought of it helping other people.

Surgery 9/19/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Dx 10/6/2016, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC) Surgery 10/31/2016 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Targeted Therapy 11/28/2016 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 11/29/2016 Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 4/3/2017 Multi-catheter: Breast
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May 19, 2017 12:25PM bcincolorado wrote:

KB870 I used to work with someone years before my dx who had recurrance going on and worked and came into work (had to continue for insurance) and would take off scarf (she was hot) and didn't care if someone came in. She stayed pretty upbeat through her fight (she lost it unfortunately) but when I was dx I remembered her fondly and how she handled it with grace and just hoped I could do the same so if my own daughter should end up facing this battle someday she might be remembered how I did not vocalize to everyone my woes and tried to keep a good outlook to the outside world, even if I was crying inside.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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May 20, 2017 09:33PM JJOntario wrote:

I love this..

46 yrs old. 2 daughters. Oncotype Score 16. 43 at dx. Surgery 11/30/2014 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Dx 12/1/2014, IDC, 1cm, Stage IA, 0/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/7/2014 Lumpectomy: Right Hormonal Therapy 1/28/2015 Radiation Therapy 3/28/2015
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May 21, 2017 08:58AM edwards750 wrote:

My BS told me I had a wimpy cancer whatever that really means. He was also the one surprised when the Path report showed a micromet in the SN. So much for the wimpy cancer except that I did have Stage 1b, grade 1 IDC - 6 years out this August.

My most encouraging words came from the techs doing the radiation. I had 33 treatments. One of them had been a tech for over 20 years. She told me I was blessed my tumor was small and early Stage. She told me I had reason to feel positive. She had seen many more BC cases with more unfavorable outlooks. While she isn't an expert I am holding onto her optimism and my 11 Oncotype score.

No guarantees of course but still room for optimism.

Diane


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May 21, 2017 10:02AM Sandeeonherown wrote:

7 years from my original diagnosis... 2.5 years since my bilateral mastectomy... 14 days since the removal of my third implant on yhe cancer side and 26 hours before they do my final surgery to remove the second,Malformed implant... the most encouraging things said to me  have been "You are the most courageous woman I know" and "If anyone can do this, you can".

 Knowing there are people in my camp who believe in me, who cook meals for me when I am recovering at home and who keep their thoughts to themselves when I go back to work (or paddle, or go dancing or fly to China) earlier than everyine anticipates or believes is good for me or what they would do...

These are the things that get me through and these are the people I surround myselfmwkth.

Sandee... still here,still grateful and still the happiest person I know!
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May 21, 2017 05:12PM tessu wrote:

^ JJOntario Thank you for posting that Snoopy cartoon. I need to remind myself of that :)

Be gentle with yourself. Dx 7/29/2015, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Hormonal Therapy 12/20/2016 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy CEF Surgery Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab)
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May 21, 2017 08:25PM SCM12 wrote:

JJOntario - great cartoon.

The week after my biopsy I dia several exams and I was saying to my BS while crying "I'm so afraid. Everyday I have a bad new". 1st a 18 mm mass in rhe ultrasound, 2nd MRI showed it was 25 mm, 3rd pathology report said it was grade 3 triple negative... I was stil waiting for bone scans and other staging exams. She told me: " my patients are superwomen... working, being with their families while all this is happening, but you know bad news will stop". And it helped me.

During these times (chemotherapy and surgery) i also revisited in my mind one scene from Game of thrones whem someone teaching Arya how to use the sword told her something like "when dead comes to take you, you must fight and say - not today". And i have been thinking that all the time. I might die from this disease - but not today.


Dx 10/20/2016, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/27/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 5/14/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left) Radiation Therapy 6/18/2017 Whole-breast: Breast
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May 22, 2017 02:34PM bcincolorado wrote:

jjontario--I love that! I have a dear friend who works in a mental health office and had to share it with her as well.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 26, 2017 12:01AM Pipandor wrote:

What a great read. For me, the most encouraging words were just "How are you?" especially when asked pretty regularly during the year I was in treatment, and when the person took the time to listen to the answer, without judging or giving advice. My husband's unshakeable belief that I will be fine is also the best antidote to my dear of recurrence.





Dx 1/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Surgery 2/5/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Chemotherapy 3/11/2016 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 3/11/2016 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast
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Jun 26, 2017 04:47PM Herculesmulligan wrote:

I have a coworker who said, " I'm not going to ask you about your cancer every day, but I'll be thinking about you every day"

That meant a lot to me.

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Jun 26, 2017 10:16PM Falconer wrote:

At my four year old's pre-k end of year ceremony, the teacher read aloud things kids said they were good at. When she read what he wrote, my DH and I cried. My little one has learned to be a caring person from my husband; we are so lucky

Strong is the new strong. Dx at 45. Onco 16. Monthly Lupron shots Nov. 2016-December 2017 Dx 7/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 7/2016, DCIS, Left, 5cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/30/2017 Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap Surgery Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane), Femara (letrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 27, 2017 07:15PM Lucy55 wrote:

What a great thread ..have gone back , reading through it !

My encouraging comment was from my BFF ...just after my uni mascetomy she said she " thought my fake boob looked better than my real boob " 😵😃....HaHa ..made me laugh ...only she could get away with saying that. !

.

Dx 8/27/2014, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2014
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Jun 27, 2017 08:13PM edwards750 wrote:

So sorry BosumBlues. It's hard enough to deal with the DX but all the other drama and stress in your life as well. Wow you are one courageous lady!

We your BC sisters are here for you. I took such comfort in this website from the getgo. No one understands your pain emotional and physical like the ladies here.

I regularly post on another link and the group of us have become on-line friends. Some of us have managed to connect outside this website. We are planning to find a neutral place since we are all scattered across the country so we can all meet up close and personal.

You do find out who your true friends are. It's easy to be a friend when things are going well. I reached out to several who were always there for me. Others not so much. Family was great.

Diane

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Jun 27, 2017 09:22PM Siciliana wrote:

My breast surgeon said to me, "One day, this will all be behind you. You will be the woman who will give comfort and encouragement to others."

Dx 12/19/2016, ILC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/23/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Hormonal Therapy 6/3/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Jun 28, 2017 01:53PM burner wrote:

Loving this thread- still crying (good!) tears.

Some encouraging things people have said to me lately:

  • Psych: "Let yourself grieve your losses."
  • Mr. Burner, upon my telling him I didn't want to take Tamoxifen: "Your body, your choice. I totally understand and respect your decision. And if you get a recurrence or new primary, we'll do this thing again, together."
  • A friend: "Go ahead. Eat that chocolate." (made me laugh)
Dx 12/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement
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Jun 28, 2017 02:08PM pink_is_my_colour wrote:

After surgery when my surgeon gave me the pathology report that they had found two out of six lymph nodes were positive forcancer I was devastated. He said: "It's not a death sentence. I have lots of patients who had cancer in their lymph nodes that are still alive after 20 years."

pink_is_my_colour Dx 4/4/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 2/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 4/4/2017, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/24/2017 Lumpectomy: Left, Right; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Chemotherapy 6/16/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil) Chemotherapy 8/18/2017 Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/23/2017 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole)
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Jul 1, 2017 08:36PM Leatherette wrote:

Soon after I was first diagnosed, a nurse said, "You should be proud that you found this and did something about it quickly." Just what I needed to hear when I was in the kicking myself for not finding it sooner phase

Age 45 at diagnosis Dx 5/2017, DCIS, Left, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR+ Surgery 6/19/2017 Mastectomy: Left Dx 6/23/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 7/25/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 7/25/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 6/29/2018 Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap
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Jul 6, 2017 01:53AM tessu wrote:

At a crafts fair, I found a bracelet I loved but was having trouble deciding between two necklaces --- or even whether I "should" buy jewelry for myself at all. The woman who made the jewelry pointed to my compression glove, looked me in the eye and said quietly "I graduate in September -- when I finish with the estrogen blocker. I don't have the swelling part, but some of my other friends with breast cancer do." Then she said if I bought the bracelet and one of the necklaces, she'd give me the other necklace pendant for free. I was stunned --- and grateful --- and love the jewelry :

Be gentle with yourself. Dx 7/29/2015, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Hormonal Therapy 12/20/2016 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy CEF Surgery Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab)
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Jul 8, 2017 06:24PM burner wrote:

I was talking to my brother about how my recovery goals include making sure that my husband and parents, brother are taken care of should things go south with my health again, and that I would ask my brother and my husband to still socialize and look after each other (neither have kids) should I die before they do. Even if my husband were to re-marry or whatever.

My brother said, "Of course. I had an epiphany decades ago that Mr. Burner was family. It wasn't right after your wedding. Maybe it was years later. I can't remember. But at one point, I knew that he was always going to be my family because of you."

It made me feel so full of love to hear that.

Dx 12/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH) Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement
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Jul 10, 2017 04:03PM nayda985 wrote:

I am so happy I found this thread...I have been reading the past posts..they have made me cry tears of joy and some made me laugh and smile.

After finishing radiation in May....I was feeling the fatigue very bad that I was just crying one evening and he happened to walk in the room and said what's wrong...I said everything is wrong..I am just ugly and flat chested and my skin is coming off from radiation...when I finished with my venting about myself...His reply was ...stop talking about my wife like that because she is none of those things you just said..and my wife is a beautiful and strong sexy woman and nothing will ever take that away from her...I instantly stopped crying and held him tight and held my head high...I said back you dayum right...lol

I love that man🤗

34 years old, mother to 3, wife, sister, daughter, Loved Dx 7/26/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IIIA, ER+ Chemotherapy 8/25/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 2/24/2017 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 4/17/2017 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 6/9/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole), Zoladex (goserelin)

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