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Topic: Open Letter

Forum: Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment —

This is a place to discuss concerns, tips and strategies for all types of side effects from all types of medications and treatments, (chemo/rads/hormonal/targeted/pain meds/etc.

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Posted on: Feb 26, 2013 08:38AM

Colt45 wrote:

I am a husband/ caregiver...

I didn't know where this should be posted---and since my wife is going through treatment now, I just picked here.

I have lurked since my wife's diagnosis and have been posting only for a few days. I can recognize a sisterhood when I see one. An army of kind souls.

I am humbled by your humanity. Your grace. Your power.

My wife says she's just doing what she has to when I tell her I'm proud of her. But she's doing more than enduring treatment for self serving means. She's doing it with a grace that doesn't frighten our 2 small, sensitive girls. THAT is strength. I see my wife comforting our 4 year old over something trivial (the kind of thing only 4 year olds think is apocalyptic) and I see a women of strength and beauty the likes of which I cannot imagine life without.

I read your posts and I see my wife or sister or mom. I see a beautiful woman who is power and grace and humanity.

I read accounts of people letting you down or failing to support you.

It breaks my heart to think that you aren't being held or hugged or listened to to the degree that you deserve or more importantly NEED.

You are beautiful. Worthy of love and support and someone is missing out on YOU. It's not your fault. People with a heart and a soul and a brain are inspired by you. Touched by you... whether you think you deserve it or not.

People in pain don't reach out like you do to comfort others. You ask very little. You deliver day after day for others. And you think you aren't worthy of praise or wonderment or fanfare. You are wrong.

You are to be cherished and held and loved. And even on days when someone in your physical environment doesn't seem to be doing quite enough of this, you are being cherished and held and loved from afar by someone you have touched----even if quite by accident.

Know this to be true.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Posts 181 - 207 (207 total)

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May 14, 2018 08:42PM Warrior2018 wrote:

Thank you for that reminder Colt. It is difficult sometimes to understand what could possibly be going on on the inside. I handle things emotionally and want to discuss it all as I find out things, and he wants to be practical and find a way to make everything better. Sometimes there might not be a better, but a new way. The hard part is making sure we are together on it all, while still trying to work, take care of kids, the house, bills, multiple multiple drs appts....just the stress of it all can create distance. But I’m going to let your words be a reminder to me that no matter what, we have a deep and true love at the foundation of it all. We didn’t ask for this. We just need to find a way through it together.

Thank you.

AKA- Paleo Unicorn 🦄😊 Dx 3/14/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 4/24/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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May 14, 2018 10:56PM Colt45 wrote:

HoneyBeaw, ThreeC, Warrior2018,

Thank you for your fantastic insight and responses. What I’d really like to remind you all to do is to be kind to yourselves. Give yourself credit. Cut yourself some slack. The supports in your lives need to facilitate your recovery. Life isn’t always pretty when you’re fighting. We’re in your corner

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 6, 2018 08:42PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 7, 2018 04:37AM beach2beach wrote:

That is a beautiful letter. I'm lucky to have a SO in my life who although does not live with me, didn't run screaming when I found out. He has been there for me from diagnosis to follow up with Oncologist. He took on a whole lot of crazy with me before I was diagnosed and I added on the C caboose to the crazy train and he's still here.


Dx 7/28/2017, LCIS/DCIS/ILC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/8/2017 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy 9/11/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 12, 2018 10:22PM JCA1984 wrote:

Colt,

Well said. Exactly how i feel every time i come to this forum when i am in need of some cheering up. The love and kindness on display here in the face of all this is incredible.

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Jul 19, 2018 10:10AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jul 19, 2018 10:18AM HoneyBeaw wrote:

Bumping


Surgery 11/28/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Dx 12/5/2016, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/26/2016 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 1/16/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Aug 14, 2018 09:56AM HoneyBeaw wrote:

Bumping

Surgery 11/28/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Dx 12/5/2016, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/26/2016 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 1/16/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Aug 20, 2018 12:26PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Oct 4, 2018 12:01PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Nov 5, 2018 06:11AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jan 1, 2019 12:43PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jan 2, 2019 03:50AM KatyK wrote:

Hey Colt45, I see your bumps, was there something specific you wanted to address? I hope you and your wife had a good holiday. My DH and I enjoyed a nice family Christmas at home. Today we are putting away all the Christmas decorations. Wishing you a Happy New Year

She believed she could, so she did. Dx 7/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jan 2, 2019 08:25PM Colt45 wrote:

Hi KatyK.

It’s nice to hear you had a Merry Christmas. A Happy New Year to you, too. We had a nice holiday as well.

I stop in to check messages and try to bump this post every month or so. I have gotten enough positive feedback about it to make an effort to keep it visible to anyone newly affected by a diagnosis.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Mar 8, 2019 02:07AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Nov 14, 2019 10:09PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Nov 14, 2019 11:44PM bcincolorado wrote:

I had not read this and thank you for writing this. Many face this alone which is so much harder with wonderful support. Thank you again.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 14, 2019 11:45PM Slg1324 wrote:

love this letter !I’m newly diagnosed and my wonderful husband is my support. This so touching and means so much, thank you !💜💜💜💜

Colt45 , I hope you and your family are doing well ❤️

Dx 10/15/2019, ILC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 12/5/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy Radiation Therapy
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Nov 15, 2019 03:41AM mitziandbubba wrote:

What a beautiful letter. I am so glad I got to see this. My husband was my rock during treatment. I never thought I'd be one of those people who has found gifts in cancer, but I am. One of these is that my relationship is stronger than I ever dreamed it could be.

Surgery 5/9/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 5/28/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast
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Nov 15, 2019 04:13AM berries wrote:

Oh my heart. Thank you. Thank you.

My sweet husband has stood by me, told me I'm beautiful regardless as handfuls of hair shed from my head, peeled me off the floor as I sobbed.

We own, in part, our strength to you.

Dx 8/6/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IB, Grade 1, 4/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/18/2019 Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (right) Chemotherapy 10/24/2019 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 2/17/2020 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Radiation Therapy 3/30/2020 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Chemotherapy 4/29/2020 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 5/7/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Nov 15, 2019 04:56AM Moderators wrote:

We are so glad to see this is revived. Thank you Colt.

To send a Private Message to the Mods: community.breastcancer.org/mem...
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Nov 15, 2019 09:00AM buttonsmachine wrote:

Thank you for this letter, Colt. It's a ray of light.

Initial diagnosis at 32 years old, and then multiple recurrences. Dx 8/2016, IDC, Right, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/1/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 10/31/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 1/31/2017 Whole-breast Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 10/2017, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 2/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/1/2017 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 11/30/2017 AC Surgery 3/31/2018 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 4/30/2018 External: Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy 6/30/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 7/29/2018 Zoladex (goserelin) Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2019 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 9/30/2019 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Nov 15, 2019 11:10AM 2019whatayear wrote:

Thanks for the bump colt I hope all is well with your fam. Thank you for keeping this thread alive and taking time to write the OG letter.

IDC 2 cm micromets 1 node 8 more removed. BMX 6/24, A/C then Taxol 7/25, 25 rads 1/6/2020 No reconstruction BRCA2 - BSO 2/19 all clear/ starting AI on 3/1/2020
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Nov 15, 2019 11:32AM AngieB92 wrote:

I just read this and cried. Thanks, Colt!! I hope your family is doing well!

Dx 8/8/2019, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 9/17/2019 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy 9/17/2019 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 3/3/2020 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Targeted Therapy 4/10/2020 Kadcyla (T-DM1, ado-trastuzumab)
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Nov 28, 2019 03:55AM grayskies wrote:

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

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Jan 13, 2020 02:09PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Mar 5, 2020 11:16PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)

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