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Topic: Open Letter

Forum: Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment —

This is a place to discuss concerns, tips and strategies for all types of side effects from all types of medications and treatments, (chemo/rads/hormonal/targeted/pain meds/etc.

Posted on: Feb 25, 2013 04:38PM

Colt45 wrote:

I am a husband/ caregiver...

I didn't know where this should be posted---and since my wife is going through treatment now, I just picked here.

I have lurked since my wife's diagnosis and have been posting only for a few days. I can recognize a sisterhood when I see one. An army of kind souls.

I am humbled by your humanity. Your grace. Your power.

My wife says she's just doing what she has to when I tell her I'm proud of her. But she's doing more than enduring treatment for self serving means. She's doing it with a grace that doesn't frighten our 2 small, sensitive girls. THAT is strength. I see my wife comforting our 4 year old over something trivial (the kind of thing only 4 year olds think is apocalyptic) and I see a women of strength and beauty the likes of which I cannot imagine life without.

I read your posts and I see my wife or sister or mom. I see a beautiful woman who is power and grace and humanity.

I read accounts of people letting you down or failing to support you.

It breaks my heart to think that you aren't being held or hugged or listened to to the degree that you deserve or more importantly NEED.

You are beautiful. Worthy of love and support and someone is missing out on YOU. It's not your fault. People with a heart and a soul and a brain are inspired by you. Touched by you... whether you think you deserve it or not.

People in pain don't reach out like you do to comfort others. You ask very little. You deliver day after day for others. And you think you aren't worthy of praise or wonderment or fanfare. You are wrong.

You are to be cherished and held and loved. And even on days when someone in your physical environment doesn't seem to be doing quite enough of this, you are being cherished and held and loved from afar by someone you have touched----even if quite by accident.

Know this to be true.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Posts 181 - 205 (205 total)

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May 14, 2018 05:42AM Warrior2018 wrote:

Thank you for that reminder Colt. It is difficult sometimes to understand what could possibly be going on on the inside. I handle things emotionally and want to discuss it all as I find out things, and he wants to be practical and find a way to make everything better. Sometimes there might not be a better, but a new way. The hard part is making sure we are together on it all, while still trying to work, take care of kids, the house, bills, multiple multiple drs appts....just the stress of it all can create distance. But I’m going to let your words be a reminder to me that no matter what, we have a deep and true love at the foundation of it all. We didn’t ask for this. We just need to find a way through it together.

Thank you.

AKA- Paleo Unicorn 🦄😊 Dx 3/14/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 4/25/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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May 14, 2018 07:56AM Colt45 wrote:

HoneyBeaw, ThreeC, Warrior2018,

Thank you for your fantastic insight and responses. What I’d really like to remind you all to do is to be kind to yourselves. Give yourself credit. Cut yourself some slack. The supports in your lives need to facilitate your recovery. Life isn’t always pretty when you’re fighting. We’re in your corner

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 6, 2018 05:42AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 6, 2018 01:37PM beach2beach wrote:

That is a beautiful letter. I'm lucky to have a SO in my life who although does not live with me, didn't run screaming when I found out. He has been there for me from diagnosis to follow up with Oncologist. He took on a whole lot of crazy with me before I was diagnosed and I added on the C caboose to the crazy train and he's still here.


Dx 7/28/2017, LCIS/DCIS/ILC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/8/2017 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy 9/12/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 12, 2018 07:22AM JCA1984 wrote:

Colt,

Well said. Exactly how i feel every time i come to this forum when i am in need of some cheering up. The love and kindness on display here in the face of all this is incredible.

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Jul 18, 2018 07:10PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jul 18, 2018 07:18PM HoneyBeaw wrote:

Bumping


Surgery 11/27/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Dx 12/5/2016, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/26/2016 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 1/16/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Aug 13, 2018 06:56PM HoneyBeaw wrote:

Bumping

Surgery 11/27/2016 Lumpectomy: Left Dx 12/5/2016, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 12/26/2016 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 1/16/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Aug 19, 2018 09:26PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Oct 3, 2018 09:01PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Nov 4, 2018 02:11PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Dec 31, 2018 08:43PM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jan 1, 2019 11:50AM KatyK wrote:

Hey Colt45, I see your bumps, was there something specific you wanted to address? I hope you and your wife had a good holiday. My DH and I enjoyed a nice family Christmas at home. Today we are putting away all the Christmas decorations. Wishing you a Happy New Year

She believed she could, so she did. Dx 7/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jan 2, 2019 04:25AM Colt45 wrote:

Hi KatyK.

It’s nice to hear you had a Merry Christmas. A Happy New Year to you, too. We had a nice holiday as well.

I stop in to check messages and try to bump this post every month or so. I have gotten enough positive feedback about it to make an effort to keep it visible to anyone newly affected by a diagnosis.

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Mar 7, 2019 10:07AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Nov 14, 2019 06:09AM Colt45 wrote:

Bump

Husband Dx 10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/13/2012 AC Chemotherapy 2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Nov 14, 2019 07:44AM bcincolorado wrote:

I had not read this and thank you for writing this. Many face this alone which is so much harder with wonderful support. Thank you again.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Nov 14, 2019 07:45AM Slg1324 wrote:

love this letter !I’m newly diagnosed and my wonderful husband is my support. This so touching and means so much, thank you !💜💜💜💜

Colt45 , I hope you and your family are doing well ❤️

Dx 10/15/2019, ILC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy Radiation Therapy Surgery 12/5/2019 Lumpectomy: Left
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Nov 14, 2019 11:41AM mitziandbubba wrote:

What a beautiful letter. I am so glad I got to see this. My husband was my rock during treatment. I never thought I'd be one of those people who has found gifts in cancer, but I am. One of these is that my relationship is stronger than I ever dreamed it could be.

Surgery 5/9/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 5/28/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast
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Nov 14, 2019 12:13PM vmb wrote:

Oh my heart. Thank you. Thank you.

My sweet husband has stood by me, told me I'm beautiful regardless as handfuls of hair shed from my head, peeled me off the floor as I sobbed.

We own, in part, our strength to you.

Dx 8/7/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 1, 4/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/18/2019 Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (right) Chemotherapy 10/24/2019 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy
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Nov 14, 2019 12:56PM Moderators wrote:

We are so glad to see this is revived. Thank you Colt.

To send a Private Message to the Mods: community.breastcancer.org/mem...
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Nov 14, 2019 05:00PM buttonsmachine wrote:

Thank you for this letter, Colt. It's a ray of light.

Initial diagnosis at 32 years old. Chest wall resection 18 months later due to skin metastasis, probably from needle seeding during initial biopsy. Skin graft from right thigh! Dx 8/2016, IDC, Right, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/1/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 11/1/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 2/1/2017 Whole-breast Hormonal Therapy 5/1/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 9/2017, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 2/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/1/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 12/27/2017 AC Dx 1/2018, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/1/2018 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy Radiation Therapy 5/10/2018 External: Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 7/1/2018 Zoladex (goserelin) Chemotherapy 7/1/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2019 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Nov 14, 2019 07:10PM 2019whatayear wrote:

Thanks for the bump colt I hope all is well with your fam. Thank you for keeping this thread alive and taking time to write the OG letter.

I found myself reading others signatures & comparing my dx to others. I decided to delete my info off my sig, b/c I felt like I was viewing people as their dx vrs. as individuals BRCA-2-BMX 6/25 -chemo 7/24 AC/T
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Nov 14, 2019 07:32PM AngieB92 wrote:

I just read this and cried. Thanks, Colt!! I hope your family is doing well!

Dx 8/8/2019, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Chemotherapy 9/16/2019 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Nov 27, 2019 11:55AM grayskies wrote:

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

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