This is a place to discuss concerns, tips and strategies for all types of side effects from all types of medications and treatments, (chemo/rads/hormonal/targeted/pain meds/etc.
Posted on:
Feb 25, 2013 04:38PM
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Colt45
wrote:
I am a husband/ caregiver...
I didn't know where this should be posted---and since my wife is going through treatment now, I just picked here.
I have lurked since my wife's diagnosis and have been posting only for a few days. I can recognize a sisterhood when I see one. An army of kind souls.
I am humbled by your humanity. Your grace. Your power.
My wife says she's just doing what she has to when I tell her I'm proud of her. But she's doing more than enduring treatment for self serving means. She's doing it with a grace that doesn't frighten our 2 small, sensitive girls. THAT is strength. I see my wife comforting our 4 year old over something trivial (the kind of thing only 4 year olds think is apocalyptic) and I see a women of strength and beauty the likes of which I cannot imagine life without.
I read your posts and I see my wife or sister or mom. I see a beautiful woman who is power and grace and humanity.
I read accounts of people letting you down or failing to support you.
It breaks my heart to think that you aren't being held or hugged or listened to to the degree that you deserve or more importantly NEED.
You are beautiful. Worthy of love and support and someone is missing out on YOU. It's not your fault. People with a heart and a soul and a brain are inspired by you. Touched by you... whether you think you deserve it or not.
People in pain don't reach out like you do to comfort others. You ask very little. You deliver day after day for others. And you think you aren't worthy of praise or wonderment or fanfare. You are wrong.
You are to be cherished and held and loved. And even on days when someone in your physical environment doesn't seem to be doing quite enough of this, you are being cherished and held and loved from afar by someone you have touched----even if quite by accident.
Know this to be true.
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply
Warrior2018…
Joined:
Apr 2018
Posts:
276
Latest activity:
Aug 24, 2019
Log in to post a reply
May 14, 2018 05:42AM
Warrior2018
wrote:
Thank you for that reminder Colt. It is difficult sometimes to understand what could possibly be going on on the inside. I handle things emotionally and want to discuss it all as I find out things, and he wants to be practical and find a way to make everything better. Sometimes there might not be a better, but a new way. The hard part is making sure we are together on it all, while still trying to work, take care of kids, the house, bills, multiple multiple drs appts....just the stress of it all can create distance. But I’m going to let your words be a reminder to me that no matter what, we have a deep and true love at the foundation of it all. We didn’t ask for this. We just need to find a way through it together.
Thank you.
AKA- Paleo Unicorn 🦄😊
Dx
3/14/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH)
Surgery
4/25/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
May 14, 2018 07:56AM
Colt45
wrote:
HoneyBeaw, ThreeC, Warrior2018,
Thank you for your fantastic insight and responses. What I’d really like to remind you all to do is to be kind to yourselves. Give yourself credit. Cut yourself some slack. The supports in your lives need to facilitate your recovery. Life isn’t always pretty when you’re fighting. We’re in your corner
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Jun 6, 2018 05:42AM
Colt45
wrote:
Bump
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
beach2beach…
Joined:
Jul 2017
Posts:
868
Latest activity:
Nov 26, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Jun 6, 2018 01:37PM
beach2beach
wrote:
That is a beautiful letter. I'm lucky to have a SO in my life who although does not live with me, didn't run screaming when I found out. He has been there for me from diagnosis to follow up with Oncologist. He took on a whole lot of crazy with me before I was diagnosed and I added on the C caboose to the crazy train and he's still here.
Dx
7/28/2017, LCIS/DCIS/ILC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
8/8/2017 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
Hormonal Therapy
9/12/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
JCA1984
Joined:
Jun 2018
Posts:
4
Latest activity:
Jul 10, 2018
Log in to post a reply
Jun 12, 2018 07:22AM
JCA1984
wrote:
Colt,
Well said. Exactly how i feel every time i come to this forum when i am in need of some cheering up. The love and kindness on display here in the face of all this is incredible.
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Jul 18, 2018 07:10PM
Colt45
wrote:
Bump
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
HoneyBeaw
Tn
Joined:
Dec 2016
Posts:
201
Latest activity:
Dec 5, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Jul 18, 2018 07:18PM
HoneyBeaw
wrote:
Bumping
Surgery
11/27/2016 Lumpectomy: Left
Dx
12/5/2016, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
12/26/2016 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left
Chemotherapy
1/16/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
HoneyBeaw
Tn
Joined:
Dec 2016
Posts:
201
Latest activity:
Dec 5, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Aug 13, 2018 06:56PM
HoneyBeaw
wrote:
Bumping
Surgery
11/27/2016 Lumpectomy: Left
Dx
12/5/2016, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
12/26/2016 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left
Chemotherapy
1/16/2017 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Aug 19, 2018 09:26PM
Colt45
wrote:
Bump
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Oct 3, 2018 09:01PM
Colt45
wrote:
Bump
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 4, 2018 02:11PM
Colt45
wrote:
Bump
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Dec 31, 2018 08:43PM
Colt45
wrote:
Bump
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
KatyK
Idaho
Joined:
Jun 2018
Posts:
230
Latest activity:
Mar 23, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Jan 1, 2019 11:50AM
KatyK
wrote:
Hey Colt45, I see your bumps, was there something specific you wanted to address? I hope you and your wife had a good holiday. My DH and I enjoyed a nice family Christmas at home. Today we are putting away all the Christmas decorations. Wishing you a Happy New Year
She believed she could, so she did.
Dx
7/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Hormonal Therapy
Femara (letrozole)
Targeted Therapy
Ibrance (palbociclib)
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Jan 2, 2019 04:25AM
Colt45
wrote:
Hi KatyK.
It’s nice to hear you had a Merry Christmas. A Happy New Year to you, too. We had a nice holiday as well.
I stop in to check messages and try to bump this post every month or so. I have gotten enough positive feedback about it to make an effort to keep it visible to anyone newly affected by a diagnosis.
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Mar 7, 2019 10:07AM
Colt45
wrote:
Bump
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Colt45
Joined:
Feb 2013
Posts:
728
Latest activity:
Nov 14, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 14, 2019 06:09AM
Colt45
wrote:
Bump
Husband
Dx
10/9/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/7/2012 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/13/2012 AC
Chemotherapy
2/7/2013 Taxol (paclitaxel)
bcincolorad…
Joined:
Dec 2009
Posts:
4,084
Latest activity:
Dec 6, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 14, 2019 07:44AM
bcincolorado
wrote:
I had not read this and thank you for writing this. Many face this alone which is so much harder with wonderful support. Thank you again.
Dx
8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left
Hormonal Therapy
1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Hormonal Therapy
1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
Slg1324
Joined:
Sep 2019
Posts:
148
Latest activity:
Dec 6, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 14, 2019 07:45AM
Slg1324
wrote:
love this letter !I’m newly diagnosed and my wonderful husband is my support. This so touching and means so much, thank you !💜💜💜💜
Colt45 , I hope you and your family are doing well ❤️
Dx
10/15/2019, ILC, Left, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH)
Hormonal Therapy
Radiation Therapy
Surgery
12/5/2019 Lumpectomy: Left
mitziandbub…
Joined:
Oct 2019
Posts:
91
Latest activity:
Dec 6, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 14, 2019 11:41AM
mitziandbubba
wrote:
What a beautiful letter. I am so glad I got to see this. My husband was my rock during treatment. I never thought I'd be one of those people who has found gifts in cancer, but I am. One of these is that my relationship is stronger than I ever dreamed it could be.
Surgery
5/9/2019 Lumpectomy: Left
Surgery
5/28/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel
Dx
IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Radiation Therapy
Whole-breast: Breast
vmb
Joined:
Sep 2019
Posts:
115
Latest activity:
Dec 3, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 14, 2019 12:13PM
vmb
wrote:
Oh my heart. Thank you. Thank you.
My sweet husband has stood by me, told me I'm beautiful regardless as handfuls of hair shed from my head, peeled me off the floor as I sobbed.
We own, in part, our strength to you.
Dx
8/7/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 1, 4/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
9/18/2019 Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (right)
Chemotherapy
10/24/2019 AC + T (Taxol)
Radiation Therapy
Moderators
Joined:
Sep 2007
Posts:
22,229
Latest activity:
Dec 6, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 14, 2019 12:56PM
Moderators
wrote:
We are so glad to see this is revived. Thank you Colt.
buttonsmach…
Joined:
Dec 2017
Posts:
440
Latest activity:
Dec 6, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 14, 2019 05:00PM
buttonsmachine
wrote:
Thank you for this letter, Colt. It's a ray of light.
Initial diagnosis at 32 years old. Chest wall resection 18 months later due to skin metastasis, probably from needle seeding during initial biopsy. Skin graft from right thigh!
Dx
8/2016, IDC, Right, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
10/1/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel
Chemotherapy
11/1/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
Radiation Therapy
2/1/2017 Whole-breast
Hormonal Therapy
5/1/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Dx
9/2017, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 2/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
11/1/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
12/27/2017 AC
Dx
1/2018, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
5/1/2018 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy
Radiation Therapy
5/10/2018 External: Lymph nodes, Chest wall
Hormonal Therapy
7/1/2018 Zoladex (goserelin)
Chemotherapy
7/1/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine)
Hormonal Therapy
1/15/2019 Aromasin (exemestane)
2019whataye…
Joined:
May 2019
Posts:
161
Latest activity:
Dec 6, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 14, 2019 07:10PM
2019whatayear
wrote:
Thanks for the bump colt I hope all is well with your fam. Thank you for keeping this thread alive and taking time to write the OG letter.
I found myself reading others signatures & comparing my dx to others. I decided to delete my info off my sig, b/c I felt like I was viewing people as their dx vrs. as individuals BRCA-2-BMX 6/25 -chemo 7/24 AC/T
AngieB92
Arkansas
Joined:
Aug 2019
Posts:
101
Latest activity:
Dec 6, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 14, 2019 07:32PM
AngieB92
wrote:
I just read this and cried. Thanks, Colt!! I hope your family is doing well!
Dx
8/8/2019, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2+
Chemotherapy
9/16/2019 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel)
grayskies
OK
Joined:
Aug 2019
Posts:
50
Latest activity:
Dec 6, 2019
Log in to post a reply
Nov 27, 2019 11:55AM
grayskies
wrote:
Beautiful. Just beautiful.