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All TopicsForum: LGBT With Breast Cancer → Topic: I know I can't be the only lesbian out here?

Topic: I know I can't be the only lesbian out here?

Forum: LGBT With Breast Cancer —

A special and safe place for the LGBT community diagnosed with breast cancer to connect.

Posted on: Mar 4, 2010 10:25PM

cancersucks wrote:

but it sure doesn't seem like there's many of us.

Where are we all?

Hopefully not in the closet.

Wait, is that where everyone is, does this mean I gotta go back in?

 Hugs to all

Cancer sucks!

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Posts 1051 - 1064 (1,064 total)

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Jan 25, 2017 08:28PM goldie63 wrote:

Thanks magiclight. Andyou certainly know about puppies, no rules, boundaries or limitations! Mylo is learning, as are we. He's a very busy boy at his puppy class that's for sure. We plan to keep him in classes for awhile, maybe agility later if he enjoys it. We got him 2 days before I was diagnosed with bc again so his time with us has been kind of crazy so far. But, nothing on the u/s today! Yay!! Radiologist and Tech both did u/s and then we had a good chat with radiologist. MRI focus determined to be I think she said background enhancement. Very very very relieved! So now on to surgery.

dx bc 1997, age 33; dx lymphedema 2003, with recurring cellulitis; sister dx bc 2014, age 48; genetics testing, BRCA 2 Dx 3/1997, IDC: Medullary, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/13 nodes, ER-/PR- Dx 12/29/2016, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3 Surgery 3/3/2017 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Chemotherapy CEF Surgery Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Surgery Prophylactic ovary removal
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Jan 26, 2017 10:39PM - edited Jan 26, 2017 10:41PM by goldie63

Well I got an email from my surgeon tonight, while he's on vacation, telling me to go fill out some form for my MRI appt. I have no clue what he's talking about so he clarifies in another email that in fact the US came back suggesting repeat MRI because often US doesn't show anything but they always try it first because biopsies are easier that way. If it still shows up on MRI I guess they'll do an MRI guided biopsy. He said they want to make absolutely certain so they feel confident about omitting the sentinel node biopsy on that side. Well why didn't the freaking radiologist tell me that yesterday?? How did she not know that?? I wouldn't be pissed off about it if they told me yesterday! I'm totally tired of info that keeps changin

dx bc 1997, age 33; dx lymphedema 2003, with recurring cellulitis; sister dx bc 2014, age 48; genetics testing, BRCA 2 Dx 3/1997, IDC: Medullary, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/13 nodes, ER-/PR- Dx 12/29/2016, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3 Surgery 3/3/2017 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Chemotherapy CEF Surgery Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Surgery Prophylactic ovary removal
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Jan 29, 2017 01:03PM - edited Mar 30, 2017 09:56PM by magiclight

This Post was deleted by magiclight.
Life is available only in the present...the here and the now. Thich Nhat Hanh Dx 4/27/2015, IDC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 4/27/2015 Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Feb 3, 2017 12:23PM Astral wrote:

Hello all! Newbie here!

What's going on?!

I'm a 27 year old, married queer lez who is currently recovering from a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction (12/30). Just started Tamoxifen on 1/31 and my period showed up yesterday! After 4 months away! My wife and I are in the process of conceiving (well, she is anyway) and I am so worried that I won't get pregnant (I'll stay on Tamoxifen for at least 2 years before trying.) I'm just glad hell is over (chemo)!! Never, ever again! I feel my cancer comes back one day (and it would be metastatic)...well, we'll see.

Cheers!

AK Dx 6/22/2016, DCIS/IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC) Chemotherapy 8/3/2016 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy 8/3/2016 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 8/3/2016 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 12/30/2016 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Targeted Therapy 1/25/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Feb 3, 2017 07:24PM - edited Feb 3, 2017 07:24PM by goldie63

Hi Astral, I replied on your other post too but wanted to welcome you to this topic stream. My wife and I thought about having kids in our 20's and ultimately decided to go the 4-legged kid route. It's 30 years later and we've had 4 cats and 3 dogs, just 1 of each left now. Good luck with your baby planning!

dx bc 1997, age 33; dx lymphedema 2003, with recurring cellulitis; sister dx bc 2014, age 48; genetics testing, BRCA 2 Dx 3/1997, IDC: Medullary, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/13 nodes, ER-/PR- Dx 12/29/2016, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3 Surgery 3/3/2017 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Chemotherapy CEF Surgery Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Surgery Prophylactic ovary removal
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Feb 15, 2017 11:59PM - edited Feb 16, 2017 12:17AM by hollygirl8900

I am OUT here. Not that anyone would notice. Been out most my life. I recently had a mastectomy. It seems breast cancer is more a tabu subject at times than being Gay.err..Lesbian. Glad I found this site. But yes I am here. I live in Los Angeles.This is my third go round with cancer. It gets lonely..Family really does not want to deal with my having cancer AGAIN. I get it. They get weary too. I am looking in to weather or not I should undergo chemo. I just had the Onco type test and now wait to see the results.  I am not sure if the onco test should be the deciding factor. Surgeon did not do a node biopsy of any kind. Because he says I had 17 removed in 1998. I have two masses and DCIS in the breast that was removed. May only be getting Tomoxifin. So I am a bit antsy about that.  

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Feb 16, 2017 10:08AM - edited Mar 30, 2017 09:56PM by magiclight

This Post was deleted by magiclight.
Life is available only in the present...the here and the now. Thich Nhat Hanh Dx 4/27/2015, IDC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 4/27/2015 Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Jun 1, 2017 10:28PM Tickety_boo wrote:

Yep, I'm here too. Diagnosed at the end of Feb, 2017. Had lumpectomy, now having radiation. I'm still working and work at the place I'm getting treatment which is slightly weird. My partner (we're married but don't really like the word "wife") has been an absolute brick.

This cancer stuff is a serious drag. Mine was caught early and I don't have to have chemo, which I'm thankful for. But every time you go in to get treatment it's a reminder that something is wrong with you.

Dx 2/28/2017, IDC, Right, <1cm, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Radiation Therapy
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Jul 22, 2017 05:11PM jbarthels wrote:

I'm new to this forum, but I want to put my two cents in... Yes, lesbians are facing breast cancer too, so you are not alone. I also wanted to say that I have participated in studies through Army of Women and one of them was on how the medical field responds to lesbians with breast cancer. That's my way of saying some people in the breast cancer field are looking for ways to support us through breast cancer. Hang in there!

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Jul 23, 2017 06:44PM - edited Jul 23, 2017 06:45PM by jbarthels

I will also share that this kind of isolation is why I recently published my book, I'd Rather Love Life Than Hate Cancer. I also have a blog at dratherlovelifethanhatecancer. My writing is how I process my cancer experience, which is continuing on today. It is also my effort to reach out to other lesbians struggling with breast cancer. I don't know if either will make you feel less isolated, but maybe it could help. I know that looking for lesbian breast cancer survivors was difficult when I was diagnosed. I wish you peace and comfort.

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Aug 11, 2017 01:54PM lifeisgood33 wrote:

Add me to the list!

I was diagnosed in May. Just had a mastectomy (right) 3 weeks ago. Been back at work for a couple of weeks.

I'm waiting for more testing of the tumors (oncotyping) to see if chemo is in my future.

jbarthels - interested in looking at your blog.

Wishing a good weekend for everyone.


Dx 5/19/2017, ILC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/20/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right
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Sep 1, 2017 12:35PM BPgas wrote:

Hi lifeisgood33,

Glad to see you are feeling good and I hope chemo is not in your future. Waiting for results stresses me out.

I have a question, does anyone have any suggestions how I can use the woman's restroom in public? I am a big butch dyke and am mistaken for a man all the time. I am not having reconstruction. The single bathrooms for either sex are great, and the transsexual push for bathrooms has helped, but not everywhere.

Any suggestions? T-shirt announcing I am a woman and I have breast cancer, something along those lines?


Dx 12/17/2014, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 16/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 12/28/2014 Taxol (paclitaxel) Chemotherapy 3/28/2015 AC Surgery 6/16/2015 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Hormonal Therapy 7/10/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Sep 1, 2017 11:16PM JustJean wrote:

BPgas, that's a very good question. I'm a femme lesbian with no breasts, and I am very tall, and am called "sir" quite a bit (which quite honestly pisses me off).


Have you had trouble going in the restrooms? I've had looks but no direct confrontations.


I have a truck driving big butch friend who regularly just uses the mens room. She says it's easier that way and she doesn't get hassled for it. Just heads for a stall and shuts the door.


If I can think of anything that might help, I'll let you know!


JJ

First diagnosed with LCIS Stage 0 in 2005. Then FOUR MORE TIMES. Now Stage IV. CANCER SUCKS. Surgery 12/31/2004 Lumpectomy: Right Dx 2005, LCIS, Stage 0, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Surgery 12/31/2005 Lumpectomy: Left Dx 2006, LCIS, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Dx 2006, LCIS Surgery 5/31/2006 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Dx 4/1/2010, ILC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/30/2010 Mastectomy: Left, Right Hormonal Therapy 7/31/2010 Arimidex (anastrozole) Chemotherapy 7/31/2010 Adriamycin (doxorubicin) Chemotherapy 8/31/2010 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Dx 10/23/2014, ILC, 3cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 11/2014, ILC, Stage IV, Grade 2, ER+/PR+ Surgery 11/3/2014 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 12/4/2014 Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 1/31/2015 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Nov 19, 2017 02:30PM bride wrote:

I had a direct confrontation in a Cracker Barrel (southern) restroom. I still had my drainage tubes in and, after 6 months of chemo was totally bald. This woman chased me into the bathroom saying “Sir, Sir, you’re in the wrong restroom.” I turned to her and said no, I’m not, I’m a woman with cancer. She actually went and got a manager. By then, my DP of 20-odd years had figured out something was wrong and had run to my side. Now my DP, Deborah isn’t someone to mess with — she was the first telephone lineman in Georgia (but I could still out bench press her). As only a true red dirt woman can she cussed them up one side and down the other. The manager wept when Deborah asked just how the f*ck she would feel 9f someone did that to her daughter and then finished her off with the comment “this woman and I raised two fine men and our granddaughters had more kindness and empathy when they were 2 than either of you two uptight women will ever have.” Sigh, I love Deborah.

bride

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. ~Anais Nin Dx 12/2/2013, IBC, Stage IIIB, 0/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Hormonal Therapy 11/18/2014 Arimidex (anastrozole)

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