Worst Thing Someone Said To You?
Comments
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My sister said to me, and in a very bossy tone "Well, we don't want to go through all this only to have it come back in a year or two!" My reply probably would be a violation to post here. That was five years ago and it still bugs me. I've thought about it often and I think the reason it bothers me so much is that it assumes that I did something to cause my cancer and can control whether it spreads.
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Good grief!!
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Oh goodness, Emilia, how your poor sister must have "suffered" through your illness......
Let's hope that she also remembers saying it, and that she regrets it too.
Hugs, Linda
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It gets to me when people say, "well, at least they caught it early." Oh, really? Then why do the doctors tell me it's "late stage?" I didn't know stage III was early. Oh....right. You're just assuming that.
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Jane- I've had people say that to me...my response has been very honest. No, I say, I have terminal cancer.... people get very quiet after that.
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To continue with the people that seem to have diarrhea of the mouth, I had a man (in his late 70's) ask me why I had on a base ball hat. When I told him I didn't have any hair due to cancer treatments, he told me I looked like a boy and that I should get a wig! I thanked him for his advice and silently wished that the diarrhea would move lower for him. What can you do but laugh? At least I am on the right side of the grass. I kicked cancer A&@ and can handle a few insensitive comments on occasion.
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Gosh, you gals are really coming up with some unbelievable comments. Frig, what planet are these people from? I had a few comments but ............. wow, some of these really take the cake. I have to say though that two of my most memorable comments came from family.......perhaps that is why I remember them. Sending you all gentle hugs.
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worst coment i had was my overhearing my boyfiend tell someone that my breast looked as if it been knifed by a butcher!!!!!!!!1
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The worst comment I've ever heard came from my ex-boyfriend. When I was diagnosed with bc, instead of being supportive he told me that I deserved to have this disease because of the bad decisions I had made in past. I was so hurt and angry, I wanted to kick his a$$!! Enough said, it didn't work out and that is why he is an ex. I'm so much happier without him, yay!!!
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It is a sad state of affairs that we even have to have this thread isn't it!!!!! I posted awhile ago about my DH's comment (thanx for the hugs Barbe and I hope you are doing OK after getting rid of Mick - yeah I read just about everything LOL) and I ended up talking about it to him and he apologised. I think most people would apologise if we could just sit down with them and explain and they knew the hurt they caused -- but you know, they just ain't us. They have no idea the heartache and sadness it sometimes causes us. However, sometimes it can all just be a good reason to talk about THEM ...LOL.
have a great weekend everyone.
big hugs
Helena
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My sister told my mother I didn't have breast cancer because I only had a masectomy and put on tamoxifin tablets. She has recovered from a different cancer, so I thought she would be more understanding and happy that I didn't need chemo or anything. Of course I thought my mother was a bit weird telling me this as well.
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When I was getting my pre-op done for the stone surgery I had to get an ecg. When the tech pulled up my gown, she said "Perfect!". I said, "Not really, but I know what you mean..."
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Some of the most hurtful things are often said by those we least expect it from. I hope I have never hurt anyone like that. I wonder if sometimes people dont realize how they are hurting us. Hugs, Mazy
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I think you hit it bang on Mazy. But I know I've stuck my foot (feet) in my mouth more than once. Gentle hugs back at ya.
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I sat here and was reading these threads of what people are saying to you and really can't believe what comes out of some people's mouths. You have to really wonder if they really know what they are saying. All the people who expressed their concerns about me all were sincere. I'm sure if I got any like what was posted I'd probably be dumb-founded at first. Then I think I'd question their remark.
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Sharon,
LOL I also have put my feet in my mouth before.
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I, too, get "caught off guard" from time to time, but I'm one of those people who is assertive and sometimes has a fairly good response to insensitive comments. I also will say, "excuse me?" or "pardon me?" a couple of times to let their uninspired words sink into their own brains, but I actually favor the question, "Was that comment meant to be helpful or hurtful?" And, yes, I occasionally have to add, "If you were trying to be hurtful, you really hit the mark, but if you were trying to be helpful, you really need to reconsider how to do that"; that comment is usually reserved for those who clearly "crossed the line" and don't seem to care.
I realize some people are truly clueless and I am generally kind to them while having what I hope is a "teaching/learning moment." I also think that we have to take responsibility for our intentions as well as our impact on others, and I am the first to admit that at times I have not been aware of my impact when I have been distracted, or uninformed, or just having a "moment of stupidity" when asking or talking about something. But, some people really are making insensitive comments because the act of commenting meets some really unhealthy need(s) of their own, and they really don't care about their impact; I try my best not to let them get away with that!0 -
This is probably not the worst thing anyone has said to me but I thought I would share it. I spent the month of June in the hospital after my second round of chemo. I was anemic, dehydrated and had pleural effusion from pneumonia. I ended up having to have an open decortication of my right lung. So now I have a matching scar on my back to go with my mastectomy.
After 16 days of home IV, my port clogged up so I was back at the cancer center to get it straightened out. They have always had a hard time accessing blood from it and the nurse was instructing me to lift my arm, rotate my shoulder, cough, fart (no just kidding) and finally she told me to arch my back and throw my boobs out. Both nurses looked mortified when I said I only had one. Total silence. Then my ds starts laughing from the other side of the curtain and the tension is broken and we all start laughing. So the nurse says. " Throw one boob out." We finally got blood but it was probably because I started laughing.
Anyway, I wish everyone more funny experiences than hurtful ones.
Nancy
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Oh Nancy, I'm sorry, but that IS too funny! heehehehehehhe
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Barbe! Barbe! Is it really you?
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I'm not sure Jane, let me check my DNA....if I have any left!
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Are you still in the hospital? What terrible things are they saying to you there?
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Nancy, that was a good one!
LOL Jane, what terrible things are they saying to you there!! LOL!!
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Are you in the hospital barbe?
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Yep, still in here, hope to get out tomorrow as long as they can keep the pain down. My pee isn't as black and very little blood. I done good! 0
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Oh, gosh! I'm sorry! I don't want to be nosey but I hope you can come home soon. If you feel like it, fill me in. Either way, I'll be thinking of you.
Nancy
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Nancy, nothing too personal, just complications from a surgical kidney stone removal....
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barbe, hope you are recovering nicely. I had a bad month long experience in June in the hospital so now I'm paranoid for me and everyone else.
Have a good night!
Nancy
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Thanks Nancy, I'm not recovering nicely, YET.....
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But you will be, think positively!!
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