TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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Vickie,
We just need some good projects......
Remember, I think we now have "THE OTHER WOMAN" tent. That one might be fun to decorate.
Madison0 -
Just found this guy hanging out in the woods keeping us all safe from the dreaded C word!
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heeeheee...I'm imagining Laura as the penguin above!! LOL...the OW in the water!
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Evening girls,
I see the circle has been busy again today. Thats great. Not sure that Ill be able to keep up with everyone. I think Im getting the bug. Im going to start throwing things if I do.
Susan, I am so impressed by your post. There is no way I could have summarized whats been going on like you did. It was wonderful. Thanks for talking with Robin also. I love the new word mipples. I think Ill tell my PS thats what theyre really called. LOL
NS good for you for setting the doc straight. Your records have to be somewhere. By law, doctors have to keep records for 7 years and specialist 10. Cant remember about hospitals though. Ill be with you tomorrow in spirit for your appointment. Please let us know how it goes. I understood your explanation about the docs. However, file a complaint with the CEO. That is illegal. Those records have to be produced when asked for.
CherylCy, we checked into the tank less water heaters also. They were much more than what you quoted but that was when they first came out. I hope you get your problem resolved soon. Im so sorry about your friend.
Vickie, I understand the freaking out about the appointment. I see my gynecologic/oncologist on Thursday and my regular oncologist on the 30th. My regular oncologist doesnt do scans unless I whine or complain about something. I havent had anything done other than a routine breast MRI and the recent back MRI. Hang in there.
Laura, keep confusing Ray. He is baffled about whats going on with you right now. Hope your talk went well. Stand your ground!
Nicki, I hope you had a well deserved relaxing day in bed. I dont make New Years resolutions. Ive never kept them. You are far from weak. Dont even think that. Whatever you want to accomplish you will when youre ready. Youll know when its right for you. You are a very strong woman.
Lisa, oh great! I love having new babies around. I think pink is good also.
Cheri, Im glad your mood has improved. Like I said, so many have slipped. You will accomplish this. Youre doing great!
Michele, saying extra prayers for Anthony and his family as well as you and yours. They can do remarkable things with preemies now days.
Beth, a get together is always fun. Ive met a couple of girls who I met in chat. They are as nice in person as they are in there.
Madison, I love your posts. I can read them and place myself back living in the south. Hugs.
Robin, I miss you. Im glad you received your quilt and it brightened your day. PM me anytime.
Mena hows the tooth?
Sher, I hate dentists also. However, I think you win poor thing. I have Ativan or valium for my appointments. The tooth I had the root canal on awhile back and the new crown is beginning to bother me again. Im trying to ignore it. Braces do help with gaps. Now days you cant even see the things. Not like the metal mouth I had when I was in my teens.
Okay, Im missed many. Im going to go lie down. May check in later.
Hugs and Prayers
Liz0 -
Vickie,
You are soooooooooooooo bad!! love it.0 -
Evening girls. I have been bad. I had such a good outlook when I got up after 2 sleepless nights. Then my dh got in off the road & he'd done super good not smoked in 6 days. We smoked this afternoon. But are not giving up. I believe this is the toughest thing i've ever tried to do except diet!
Michele, Prayers for little Anthony & his mama.
Sparky,yes dear. I'm quite worried about you keeping all your thoughts & feelings all bottled up like you do, I don't think it's good for your health. Sometimes we need to just speak our mind. Maybe you can work on that? I'll just bet you can!HAHAHA I wish you luck at the dr. tomorrow, please don't keep us hanging when you get home.
Beth, glad you all enjoyed your coffee this morning.
Vicki, cute pics of the penguins, although I see Laura slapping her dh in the water!
Laura, you have left us all hanging! We want to know what happened at your talk. Pleeeeeeeze!
Madison, thank you so much for the support on not smoking & I will take you up on your offer of the pm. I imagine non-smokers think after the first 3 days the nicotine is out of your system you have it made. Not like that at all.
Liz, hope your feeling better soon & its not a bug.
So where is Susan,Tracey and a whole bunch more. Course there's always MeeeeNaaaa! I hope you & your tooth are doing better.
Off for now. May be back.
Cheri0 -
Cheri, you have not been bad, you have been human. Nicotine is more addictive than people realize. It is not just the nicotine, it is the entire HABIT of smoking that needs to be broken. When I told you about the little fellas on my shoulders - one saying "do it - do it" and the other saying "don't do it-don't do it", I was serious.....it is a struggle....my dh still smokes....I know what it means to try to quit when your spouse still smokes...ain't easy......forgive yourself....
Now, I need to go to the fruitcake tent and hide....my dh asked me what I said a little while ago, and I actually admitting I was talking to myself....and that myself didn't think I was crazy and knew exactly what I was talking about...I think my husband is calling for the paddy wagon.....I need to hide....
Madison0 -
Hi Cg's - two days worth of posts to read sure takes a long time. Even with notes, it is hard to keep track of everyone.
I was supposed to go back to work yesterday - was almost there, when I got a a call from my principal saying they called off school due to the weather - so a nice treat to have an extra day off. I was able to get into the hand doc. She was great. Took xrays of my hands and saw no arthritis. She did some tests and said its carpel tunnel. She is sending me to a neurologist for an EMG test (to also rule out neuropathy) but she thinks the carpel tunnel will come back pretty severe in the right hand (dominant hand). I see her a few the EMG tests. Hand doc is not too keen on cortisone shots - she rec either hand therapy (didn't right down what she said so can't remember) or surgery. I am a little worried about surgery as she will use a tournaqeut(sp) which will increase my risk of LE, but I can't live with the pain in my right hand. Doc said she would put the tournaquet low away from upper arm, but needs to have a bloodless field to operate. Won't know for sure till the EMG test. Though will probably go with the surgery on right hand as even with the splints, fingers tingle all the time. I see the onc on the 23rd and will ask him about either Lyrica or Neurontin as I am sure its both neuropathy and carpel tunnel. Will keep you posted.
Michelle39 - my thoughts are with you and family and little Anthony. I was a preemie - 2 months early and I am now 50!!
SocalLise - great news on your dil amnio. Keep us posted and look forward to hearing about a new little one in May.
Nickie - I've decided that I am not doing "mipples" - don't want permenant headlamps. My stage two is 3/23/07.
Cheri - how many days is it now - remember its one day at a time and with smoking it might be one cigarette at a time. Keep it up.
Laura - so sorry that Ray is being such an a**. I agree with what the other ladies are saying. You are one strong women.
MIchelle - hope you had fun shopping in Miami.
Meno - hope your mouth is better soon.
Vickie - good luck monday. I see my onc every 3 months - next visit is the 23rd. He does blood work and a physical. I don't know if he does any scans. Need to ask how often I need to have bone density. I have nothing to mammo!!! I'll keep you in my thoughts on monday.
shirley -sorry about hubby's knee. DD bowled and I just watched!
Alaskadeb - not enough sunlight by you for me this time of year. I am spoiled in denver with so much sunshine. I really think the sun (or lack of ) affects my mood. Way to go on going back to work, giving up coffee and dieting all at one time.
NS- good luck tomorrow. Sorry you have had such a rough time with all the docs and the endo loosing your records.
Beth1225 - what is your hebrew name?
Well, I went one month - December without any medical appt and now its only 1/6 and I've already had two. I was hoping 2007 would be different - but its always something. I will call the neurologist on monday morning to schedule the EMG. See the gyn for annual check up on the 16th and the onc on the 23rd. After the EMG, I go back to the hand doc. I counted all my medical appt last year and it was 95 - 97 counting the two surgeries. I doubt it will get that high this year. Well, I know I've left lots of girls out. It is nice to try to remember everyone as it makes each of us feel good. Be back tomorrow - but then its back to work on monday and I'll only be on once/day in the evening.0 -
karen, I had those tests in my hand. They stick a little needle and send a slight shock on the nerve to see which nerve is impinged and affected. I know one person who did hand therapy and cortisone and did great and I know another person who had the surgery and did great.
The one with the cortisone is a bummer because sometimes just the injection itself can cause more nerve damage... that is what happened to me once with my back.
My hairdresser had really bad CT and had to have surgery- he went right back to cutting hair and has been steadily doing so for five years since his surgery.
Good luck with that!0 -
Vickie, you are bad. I think without you we would all go nuts (no pun intended, really). You can keep us smiling.
Laura-what happened? Really now, you dangle the carrot and then go away? We need to know if we need machine guns for Ray or throw a party for your achievement. Either way, I figure you have won rounds 1,2,3,4 and more!
Karen-my hebrew name is beylah machlia. I am named for my paternal gm and maternal ggm. I helped my uncle with our family tree and it is interesting to find out how far back our names go in the families.
I talked to my friend Marge and she suggested I tell my gyn to get me Effexor or Zoloft or something. There is so much sh** going on that I need to empty my plate (Madison you are too much).
Sorry I missed some people but I have got to lie down. i was going to visit the chat but am exhausted today for some reason.
Love and hugs,
Beth0 -
Wow Cheri my hubby would be jelous if he saw that you caught those two huge fish!
Glad to see those pictures coming in. I added some more tonight.
OK it's getting late and I need to sleep.
So off to bed with me! I have to remind the hubby that any converstions had with me after I go to bed don't count as I won't remember them! I guess we had a long conversation last night about two hours after I went to bed and I don't remember one word!0 -
Circle Girls, for anyone who is not familar with it I would like to introduce you to the IGNORE feature that BC.o offers.
If someone attacks you or calls you a name or writes you a hate mail or simply is a nasty person, you do not have to read it! go to their profile, hit IGNORE THIS USER and POOF! They are gone.
You are all a wonderful, caring, loving, giving group of women who hang out in the Circle because you like the friendship and the commraderie and the sisterhood, but most of all, you want to be here to help those girls who are going through rough times- from the newly dx'd to those who are dealing with mets.
Some metsters feel uncomfortable on BC forums because they feel as if they might "scare" people with their issues. NOT HERE. And our prayer circle has seen some pretty amazing miracles this week for two of our metsters... and ALMOST three- once Ginney kicks her bone mets to the curb!
Just keep on keeping on. Don't let the turkeys get you down. And when in doubt- Report anything untoward to Melissa and Tami and then utilize the Ignore button.
Life is beautiful.
And so are all of you.
Love,g0 -
ok i am floored.....
totally floored... we need two picture threads????0 -
Good Morning Everyone! I slept in late again today, Oh I am so proud of myself. But once I woke up, I couldnt wait to get my first cup of coffee and come visits my friends here in the circle. I did spend the entire day yesterday watching football. So its the Colts and the Seahawks who move forward. Lets see what today will bring.
As far as the Chicago end of the circle, its yet another "warm" day. Being in the 40's in Chicago is warm for winter. Im sitting by the campfire. Looked around and tried to vision what it was like when the trees had leaves. What it will be like when Spring starts approaching. But right now, the trees look bare and naked. Its quiet here by the campfire. You can hear every sound. Including those of you who are still sleeping and snoring.
SoCalLIsa: Oh my Im so happy for you. The news on the amniocentsis was wonderful. Now adays, more and more women are having children later in life and there is always a concern for defects. So this is great news. Im cheering pink for ya. Its time you have a baby girl in your family.
Congratulations once again
Michelle: Thats such a sad story. We have put Anthony and his mom in the middle of the circle. Watching over him and hoping everything turns out ok. They are doing wonderful things in NICU. Anthony is a "special one." Sending lots of love, hope, support, and peace.
NS: I sorta understand the Endocrinology thing. What bothers me is that the hospital should have your records. But - they are lost, gone! So you need to move forward now. Good luck with your appointment today.
Vickie: OMG! This is another spit my coffee on the screen, laughing out loud in a quiet house - as everyone else is sleeping That picture of the penguins is just too funny.
Madison: I say we decorate the OW tent. I got some special mirrors from a carnival. Ya know the ones that make you look fat and ugly? Thats my contribution. Im a twilight zone fan, so I also contributed a mirror. When you look in it - it tells the truth about you. And you guessed it, makes the OW look like a fat, ugly witch.
Liz: I sure hope your not catching a cold. Go get some zicam. It will shorten the length of the cold - Ive not tried it myself yet, but now have some in the house for the next time. I feel much better now that I have let go of any resolutions. When the time is right, I will start exercising again. Who knows, maybe that day will be today.
Cheri: You are such a sweety. You just keep up the good work. You are doing great with your quitting smoking. Hang in there.
Karen: Sometimes we can just love Mother Nature. Im so glad you got the day off to go to the doctors appointment. I heard on the news there was an Avalanche in Colorado. Between you and Tracey - sometimes I get worried. Anyways, your concerns a legit about the tournaqit for the surgery. I am so hoping you wont need surgery, but if you do, make sure to discuss your fears of lymphedema with the hand surgeon. We will be with ya through this whole thing. And now Im 100%. No mipples for me. I will tell my PS on Wednesday. Im ready to move beyond that part of this journey. I look good in a bathing suit and bra - so that makes me happy.
I agree with NS. The ignore button is my best friend. And always notify the moderators - Melissa and Tami - if something seems wrong or inappropriate. This is what I like about the circle. Its a safe place for me to be. I can come here and support and be supported. We are here for each other.
Tracy: I got your PM. Just havent had time to look at your post in the Circle Spa, guess I will be headed there next. 2 pcutre forums? I think I suggested it. I sure would like to see the picture thread get moved here, but sadly, I dont think everyone that comes to these boards would understand it. Since I dont know how to post pictures, dont even have a camera lol, that makes me the least qualified. But I look at the pictures all the time. There are so great.
Beth: Glad you had fun meeting with others from bc.org. Hoping you took pictures.
LauraB: I agree. Whats happening?
OK, I gotta go. No big breakfast today. Just a plain old bowl of cheerios.
Cherrio my friends.
Nicki0 -
Nicki, left you a post on the oics thread. I am so feeble minded. I have forgotten to take pios at Thanksgiving, my cousin's 25th anniversayr, CHRISTMAS and our holiday party! I guess I have not been in the mood lately. Thanks to you guys who wanted to the choc fountain in real life I took a pic NYE! BUT, I completely forgot ot take it with me at the meet yesterday. Now that I think about it, maybe it would have put some off. I will clear it and next time I promise!
Love and hugs,
Beth0 -
Good Morning beth. Now you are assuming I have a printer to scan. Im so computer illiterate, and our printer died about 3 months ago.
I have seen disposable digitals. Maybe I will try and get one.
Nicki0 -
Good Morning Ladies. Praying for Anthony and his mom and family. Thinking PINK and FLUFF for Socal.
I spent yesterday scrubbing away. Made a small dent. Still have dining room, tv room (which is soon to be my office..yehaw)and my bedroom to clean. How can two men who work all day make a house so dirty when they are left alone?
NS sounds illegal to me. Not to mention unethical.
A wonderful story about your nephews.
I was a 7 week premie myself. Had heart and lung issues so they tell me. Had open heart surgery at 6. That was ahem 40+ years ago and I'm still around annoying people.
Are you at the docs yet? Appt on sunday, how odd is that.
I am clueless as to why anyone would send another hate mail or whatever? That is simply baffling.
Beth, I am so jealous. No one lives by me.
Shopping for little girls clothes is so much more fun, but boys have cooler toys.
Vicki, I have follow up with onc next month. I'm sure I'll be a wreak when the time comes. I stress more about getting poked than seeing the doc. Always takes at least 3 sticks before they can get a good vein. UGH!!
hahahahah love the penguins and Mr Squirrel.
Cherylcy, I am so sorry about your friend. My prayers are with you all.
I've had those after bedtime convos too. He says "I told you last night" I say "it doesn't count after my eyes are closed" Silly men.
Madison, my wagon could use some major sprucing up. You and Vicki are welcome anytime.
Mipples hahahahhahahahahahahhahah
Talking to yourself? I thought everyone did that? O crap does that mean I need a funny white coat too?
Karen, hugs to you hon. Hand pain is the pits. Hope they can figure it out quickly and it doesn't require surgery.
Did I hear something about avalanche in Denver?
Liz, we have all told you. No bugs allowed. Get thyself to bed with some lemon tea my dear. Stay there till morning.
The look of braces isn't what scares me. The pain involved does. O well I will do what I must. Promised myself new teeth this year and have to keep my promises. He did say I only need them on the top to close the gaps. My bite and lower teeth are fine.
Cheri, I am praying for you. DO NOT beat yourself up over a little backsliding. Just move on.
Everytime I have quit it wasn't the nicotine withdrawl that did me in. It was the mind games my own little brain played with me.
Tracey, two threads? why not. the more the merrier.
Nicki, I do not snore. Cheerios are good for your heart. So say the commercials.
Lack of motivation is exactly why I started going to Curves. It may not be the best work out in the world but it is a workout nontheless. Plus it gets my a$$ out of the house every day. I would be a hermit otherwise.
6:40am, to early to run the vacume. What do I do now? hmmmmmm
Have a great day girls.0 -
Oopps. Looks like bad Jake is back at it again!
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oops, that was me. forgot to log in.
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Oh, boy, do I have lots of reading to catch up on. Don't have time right now. Have just scanned this last page and to figure some of this stuff out, will have to go read all previous pages for a few days.
NS wishing you only good, positive news that headaches are nothing serious and they can give you something that helps.
Everyone is sending warm wishes, prayers and we're going to fill the room so hope you and the doc have room to talk and breathe.
Tracey, I know there are two picture threads in Moving Beyond and then we have the forum "cybersisters photo albums" I know some were frustrated on Moving Beyond because they thought the Circle was causing that forum to load so slow but it still loads slow and I think maybe it is because there are two picture threads there - Just my opinion. To be honest, with some of the feelings recently expressed about the circle girls, I'm not real sure I would post any pictures anywhere but here. I know you started one of the picture threads and it certainly isn't anything against that thread or you. Don't want you to get offended that one was started here - OK? (I haven't posted in any so I am not defending anything here)
So warm here!!! Maybe rain later today. I do hope we get some cold weather or we aren't going to be able to enjoy the summer months because of bugs and mosquito's .
Catch up on your post later. Everyone have a wonderful day.
Brenda0 -
OK - first - Good Morning! I'll start with a happy note...
Feeling pretty good on the Arimidex - couple aches and pains but better.
Now - I will say that I was surprised about the circle girls being called a "posse" and had no idea there was history of dissention or that people have left the board because of it. I normally do not confront people but when my name was specifically mentioned, I felt I should address it. I tried to be diplomatic but apparently need to learn more about diplomacy.
I wish to apologize to all of you if any of my posts feed this misconception about the circle. I will say - I will not sit by while someone singles me out in any way that I feel is unjust. I am a warrior after all - and believe me - if I need to defend my honor I will. I'm cute but tough
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So yes Nicki - I am in the spa tent already - drinking some warm tea, listening to ocean breezes, and getting a massage from Bruno...sounds rough but he's very gentle...
I'll open another tab and catch up on the rest of ya'll in a while....have to eat breakfast.
Ginney0 -
I vote Yes! Yes! We need a picture of our bad Jake. We want to know what the Ghost of bad Jake looks like.
Circle The Wagons Thread = We can never forget it was started when so many of us were hearing about mets, reoccurances, side effects, tests, surgery, chemo, more chemo. It was a way for all of us to bond together and help each other stay strong during difficult times.
And then theres that echo of "Moving Beyond Cancer" which I myself wonder will ever happen. Each part of this journey has situations that can be difficult and hard to deal with. Not only do we talk each other through these situations, we make each other laugh and feel good too.
Im thankful everyday that I have this special place to come to.
Sending out love to all the special people I have met here and hoping if your new and visiting, you will jump right in. Its a good place to be.
OOPs! Football time! Gotta go. Have a great day
Nicki0 -
Ginney You did nothing wrong. Cheri you did nothing wrong. I'm upset about all this but I won't talk about it here. I am just so angry. I need to go calm down.
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Susan: Just start singing
Would you like to fly
In my beautiful my beautiful ballooon (oops I mena magic carpet).
And look I sound Italian and slipped Mena's name in without trying. Sort of like the mipples.0 -
Good morning CG's
Shirley - Yes there was an avalance in the foothills just west of Denver. It was by Berthoud Pass on the way to the Winter PArk skil resort. Thank goodness, no one was hurt - but it was a HUGE avalance - the type they say happens only every 10 years. Lets hope they are right. This is the ski area my 17 year old ds likes to go to and that is the only way to get there from Denver. No more snow for Denver for a few days atleast. It is supposed to warm up to the 50's starting tomorrow but get cold again by friday. Since 12/20, denver has had about 3 1/2 feet of snow and the foothills about twice that amount. This last storm was a good one for the ski areas.
NS - good luck with the doc today. Thanks for the info on the EMG tests. The hand doc is not big on the cortisone shot due to the risks if it goes into the wrong place.
Nicki - thanks for all your support. I will be sure to keep everyone posted. Glad you were able to make a decision about "mipples". I've already said no to them, and I haven't even done stage 2 yet. I also helps that PS said it probably was not an option for the radiated side (but my decision was made prior to him telling me this).
I guess, I am a little bit out of the loop - I did not realize that there were folks who were unhappy with our CG thread. I did not know that people were saying mean things to one another or leaving the boards. If I have done anything to offend anyone, I offer my sincerest apologizes. I am greatful to you CGers and the bc.org board. I did not come to mvong beyond until after all my treatments as I thought thats what it was for. But I have since learned that it is a wonderful caring group of women who are here to support ALL OF US. Thank you for being here. Wishing everyone a good day. I hope to check back in tonight - then its back to work tomorrow and I'll only be on the computer at night. ITs sunny outside 0 -
I must be a bit out of the loop myself as I knew nothing about anyone being unhappy with our circle. A posse???? Hmmm...well if we do have a posse it's to round up all our hurting, lonely, sad, unsure, needing help sisters. Wouldn't that be a good posse? Thats all we ask, come and join us...NO ONE IS EXCLUDED...NO ONE!!! We have so much love to go around that there is plenty for all.
Nuf said...
NNNNNNNNSSSSSSS....WHERE ARE YOU! We have the wagons in the parking lot and are peeking in the windows (we gave your doc a "talking" to to make sure your well taken care of). Thinking of you with many prayers, crossed fingers, everything I can think of...ALL WILL BE WELL!
Working on the OW tent!
Gotta run...making chemo caps to take to my appointment (that I don't want to go to) tomorrow.
Love ya all
Vickie0 -
Just one word from me:
"YEE HAW!!"
Make that two.0 -
Lini, You took the words right out of my mouth.
I didn't realize there was unrest....
Unhappy with the circle girls.....
it is their problem...
all we do here is support each other, help each other...
when we have a bad day - someone lifts us up and in turn when they have a bad day -we are on the magic carpet lifting them up....
what is so wrong about this I ask???
My goodness gracious, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH FRIENDSHIP!!!!!
To all my friends in the circle, AND LIKE VICKIE SAID NO ONE IS EXCLUDED, peace, love, prayers support, and friendship.....
Madison0 -
LINI....I LOVE YOU YOU SILLY GIRL...WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING!!! Geez...I can drive 5 hours and hunt down NS if I have to but it would take me several days to drive to California...NO MORE DISAPPEARING...YOU KNOW MY DRIVING RECORD!!! I'd never make it out of NY without some mishap or another LOL.
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So sorry I've left you hanging, all! I didn't get home until Caitie's bedtime last night, and needed for Ray to go to the hall (this will be my 2nd attempt---had whole thing typed up before and lost it all!)
Anyway, you'll freak but I went to get my hair cut yesterday...and came back a red-head! Michael, who I've been going to almost 30 years, heard my story and said---you know what you need?!? COLOR! I said "not red" and he said you bet your butt! I'm getting used to it, but it is pretty cute!
Anyway, when I got back from the appt. I told Ray I was taking Caitie to Mary Ann's and he said "I don't see why". I told him, "you were the one that wanted to talk today and I don't want Caitie anywhere near."
After I got back, he was drinking a beer (broke one of the ground rules to the talk....no drinking) and I could tell he wasn't comfortable (tuff!) However, he started by saying "I got hold of a mediator Friday names Laura Malone (who's also an attorney) who will file for $640, we get a checklist and go together or separate, come up with a division of our stuff, pay $320 per session to iron out the split, and it doesn't take more then 2-3 sessions and it's over in 3 months. She knows there's a child involved, so that needs to be discussed." I just sat there silent.
He kept up with the same crap (tired of trying, no sex, feels like a houseboy or roommate, no feelings for me left, his heart is dead, ya-da-ya-da-ya-dah). I asked him how he felt he tried over the last 5 years---he couldn't give any response other than "I'm just done, I won't get married again (his 2nd), Caitie will be taken care of" etc.
He said "you can make this easy (meaning HIS way) or make it hard." I told him again that I don't want this divorce, that I know if we BOTH tried with the same effort together that it could honestly work...he didn't want any of it.
Sandy/OW came up....he said there's nothing going on other than a friend he can talk to. I asked "why all those cell phone calls?" and he said "we were either just talking or she needed help around her house." I couldn't let it go---I said, "aren't you afraid of becoming someone else's houseboy?" He said she doesn't look at it that way (yeah right!)
I said I still wanted to talk to her...as a friend and woman to woman. He said "sure you can talk to her, go ahead...I know she feels awful" then backed off and said he'd ask her first.
He's giving me 30 days to think it over; I'm to give him my decision by the end of February (wait a minute...there are 24 days left in January, another 28 in February---DUH! You do the math!) I told him I have a lot to think about and I want to be sure I explore all my options.
He didn't get home until 130a this morning; I asked him at 9a what Sandy said and he said she wants to stay out of it...TOO LATE! I told him "if that's the case, then she needs to let you go while this is all going on." If their "whatever" continues, I think I have the right to tell her to back off.
I talked with my ex bro-in-law, Bobby (was married to Ray's sister) as he's been thru it with the family and is in real estate. He said the mediator may be the best in the long run for Caitie, and he's concerned that since Ray wants joint I may have to pay HIM child support since I make so much more! Plus, tho the house is in both names, it's Ray's VA loan, so I'd have to refinance on my own.
Bobby's concerned that Ray couldn't even handle Caitie 2x a month for 7 straight days---no drinking, he's financially responsible for anything she needs (clothes, bedding, medicine, etc) while in his care. He'll have no insurance unless he can find another job (it's all under my name, so that's leverage for not paying support). Plus, one of us will have to be custodial parent which will have to be me since I don't want to pull Caitie from the school system.
Bottom line....in his desperation to get out, he has not thought thru all the ramifications. There's no way in hell Ray will be able to do what he thinks he can do. I told Bobby that if I lay this all out and show Ray he's stuck himself 'tween a rock and a hard place, he'll get even angrier than he is now.
Ray asked what Mary Ann and I talked about when I picked Caitie up....I told him (lie) "she's sad and asked what your really did to do to try and I said I asked the same thing w/o a satisfactory answer." I made it sound like SHE said "if he really wanted to try, he'd do it more than just once or one way until it worked---just like anyone with a backbone would do when faced with problems" (my way of adding to what I said yesterday).
I told him that if he really tried, we would've had more communication that would've avoided a lot of hurt.
Bottom line...I still love him and don't want this--it's going to be hard, but I'll make the best of these "30 days" and do a lot of soul-searching and research to be sure it works out the best way---whichever way this ends up.
I need to run as Caitie needs me right now (while he's at the hall...natch). I'll try and keep you posted.
LauraB
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Girls rule, boys drool (as Caitie says)0
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