TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
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Hey Lini, welcome back!
Well, it's Sunday and my beloved Eagles are in the playoffs today.Yeah!! The weather here has been unbelievable!!! Yesterday was 70!!?? WTF! It's January for cryin' out loud! The Mummer's parade was held in Philly yesterday and those poor guys were sweatin' in their suits. We were out on our Harley today. It's a bit colder today, but still warm enough for a ride. I put on my Mad Bomber hat and off we went.
Cheryl,cy - So sorry to hear about Jay. You are right, at least he is out of pain.
Beth - The cat story cracked me up. DH and I used to lock our cat out of the bedroom, when we had sex, because he would jump up on the bed and stare at us. Creepy!
Susan - Love how you were able to compress all the info here. Mipples?? I love it
! None for me thanks, I like mine without.
NS - I can't believe they lost your records. It's a shame you got caught between the two Docs.
SoCaLisa - Great news about your DIL! It's great to know there is a healthy little one on the way.
Michele - Sorry to hear about Anthony. I hope he pulls through with no lasting problems. (((((Anthony))))).
Vicki - I love those pics!! I sat here by myself laughing my butt off over those penguins!! Where do you find them?
Nicki - Those mirrors that make you look fat and ugly are the perfect thing for the OW tent. I don't care what they really look like, OW are always fat and ugly in my mind!
Take care CGs and "GO EAGLES!!!"0 -
Llaura, I have my arms wrapped around you right now, giving you a big hug. And I bet you look great as a RedHead!!! I just don't get this paying child support to men thing. If they were home providing a nurturing environment so the wife could devote herself to work and making lots of money, then maybe. But on what planet does that really happen? Take your time, stay calm and figure out what you need.
Jan, I'm with you. Lovin this football.0 -
Laura this is for you...don't know if you saw it or not.
Know that I am sooo sorry that your talk didn't go the way you wanted it to go. I have been thinking of you. Sending warm hugs and prayers for a good outcome. Don't know what else to say...your a stronger woman than I am!
Michelle...any news on dear Anthony?
NS...hmmm...5 hours to NY to check on you if I have too!
Be back later dear ladies.
Vickie0 -
Girls, quick check in...
First- you can count on one hand the number of people whose panties are in a knot over the wagon circle.
If you want to know the history of the circle then read it from the beginning. There are no secrets or hidden agendas.
One day three girls posted they had mets. Everybody got pretty freaked out. Some people even posted that they didn't know where to go with their feelings. Some of the metsters posted that they were afraid to post about what they were going through because it might cause the women here to become afraid.
SO I started the circle.
Yup. That was it.
The term "Circling the Wagons" is used as a way of protecting one of the wagons that may be disabled somehow- a broken wheel, a lame horse- and it cannot keep riding in the line. So the rest of the wagons encircle it and protect it and help fix it.
Now we may not be able to FIX some of the mets and other things going on... but we sure do encircle eachother and protect each other and keep eachother warm.
That is it. Mystery solved.
Please- USE THE IGNORE BUTTON. All this negativity is UNHEALTHY and a waste of time.
We are dealing with real life problems and health issues and real feelings and genuine caring here in the Circle. WE DO NOT NEED CRAP.
And that is all it is.
Ignore Ignore Ignore
yeah- Ginney, you were called out by name. You are a true cowgirl and did your thing. So did Cheri. Ok- good. Let it go. Don't let anything rob you of a postive moment in your life right now.
As for me,
I just got home and have to make some calls, but I need a brain MRI and after then we will see what is what and depending on that we will see about meds.
Wish I had more to tell you - but that is it!
Love you!
Be back later!!!
THINK POSITIVE!
MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!0 -
Geez, NS. I haven't seen anything negative here in the Circle. I can't believe that anyone would put any kind of negative spin on this. This is just a warm, loving place where we can ALL feel safe and protected. Thank you for starting it! Judging by how much activity is here, I'd say there was a definate need.
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OH...I found the penguins on Photobucket. I can't remember what I was looking up but I think it was revenge (heehee)for our OW tent (Which I think should be called the OWCH Other women Cheating husband tent)!!! What can I say...
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Good afternoon, girls. Whew, what a night. I apologize for anything I might've said to cause such an uproar. That was not my intention. I just now crawled out from under the bus that hit me & still wondering what happened. I certainly did not mention anything about you wonderful Circle Girls. I am so sorry if I caused any of you undue stress or anxiety. All of you involved handled this with class. The circle is my safe haven and has quite literally changed my life for the good. So, once again, my apoligies for anything I might have said or done.
I would like to say a special thanks to Brenda,Susan,Nicki,Sparky,CherylCy,and Ginney. There's things come up sometimes that proves who real friends are.
Maybe next time I post anywhere but here I'll add: "Opinions expressed here are not anyones but my own.Viewer disscretion advised. For mature audiences only"
Beth, lets remember that this circle is based on love, trust,honor, integrity,support,compassion, and many other things...including loyalty.
I hope all who reads this has a great day.
Cheri0 -
Cheri...you have nothing to apologize for...I just added my 2 cents to the post about survivor stories. You asked valid questions. We have had in the past people looking to exploit, people who have lied etc. Thanks for taking care of us as that was your only intention.
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Ok, I got the mesage. See ya.
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Girls, I guess I'll say one more thing.
Why don't we all just let it go now, especially the "p" reference and quit entertaining 'you know who' in the big longhorn state. Let's get back to boring her and taking care of eachother.0 -
I have Nooooooo Idea what happened in OUR WAGON, But know this, I have lost 6 People starting in dec. some, Family and Some Friends!! I come to the circle to get what I need, maybe It is not always about CANCER, But whatever it is, I know I Will Get LOVE!!!!!!!!!!! So to anyone that wants to cause Problems in The Circle Of Love and Understanding, GETOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We Don't Have Anything Else to Offer XOXOXOXO LOVE Puppy 0 -
NS, Brain MRI, you are kidding?? Is that because of the previous CA dx? Let us know so I can warm up the magic carpet.
Lini, I can't imagine who you must be talking about.
If you use your ignore feature it's really easy to overlook things.
JUST DON'T TRY TO IGNORE ME!! Puppy, we can't ignore you!!0 -
Debby- nothing happened IN the circle. It was just alot of bluster outside of it. It is all gone now. None to worry!
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Susan, yes, because of the breast cancer.
I also have a lot of symptoms that could lean that way. But we will see. I told him all the brain mri would show is the squirells living in my head!0 -
NS - Everything will be just fine, including the squirrels living in your head.
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The circle has always been a safe place to come to. Forget about this stuff. We have more important things to do.
LauraB: Sending you the biggest hug. Everyone can give you advice, but if I were you I would talk to your lawyer again just to see what direction he thinks you should go.
Make a women who is recovering from breast cancer and forced to work cause the man cant hold down a decent job pay alimony? - I just dont think that will happen.
Vickie: I love the OWCH tent.
NS: There is way more that a brain MRI. So what did the neurologist say it could be?
Hello to everyone else. Ill see ya in the morning.
Beth and Vickie: There is no harm meant by anyone in the circle. We are a forgiving group and stand strong together. I have a nice bottle of wine and would love to go to the drinking tent with ya. So hurry back.
Nicki0 -
Beth...I sent you a pm in answer to your pm. Please don't leave. I had no intention of hurting your feelings in any way. I am not like that...I can't hurt anyones feelings...it's not in my nature. Stick with us, we need you.
I feel so sad now. Damn.
Vickie0 -
OMG! I vote for the squirrels living in my head tent
Nicki0 -
Quote:
So sorry I've left you hanging, all! I didn't get home until Caitie's bedtime last night, and needed for Ray to go to the hall (this will be my 2nd attempt---had whole thing typed up before and lost it all!)
Anyway, you'll freak but I went to get my hair cut yesterday...and came back a red-head! Michael, who I've been going to almost 30 years, heard my story and said---you know what you need?!? COLOR! I said "not red" and he said you bet your butt! I'm getting used to it, but it is pretty cute!
Anyway, when I got back from the appt. I told Ray I was taking Caitie to Mary Ann's and he said "I don't see why". I told him, "you were the one that wanted to talk today and I don't want Caitie anywhere near."
After I got back, he was drinking a beer (broke one of the ground rules to the talk....no drinking) and I could tell he wasn't comfortable (tuff!) However, he started by saying "I got hold of a mediator Friday names Laura Malone (who's also an attorney) who will file for $640, we get a checklist and go together or separate, come up with a division of our stuff, pay $320 per session to iron out the split, and it doesn't take more then 2-3 sessions and it's over in 3 months. She knows there's a child involved, so that needs to be discussed." I just sat there silent.
He kept up with the same crap (tired of trying, no sex, feels like a houseboy or roommate, no feelings for me left, his heart is dead, ya-da-ya-da-ya-dah). I asked him how he felt he tried over the last 5 years---he couldn't give any response other than "I'm just done, I won't get married again (his 2nd), Caitie will be taken care of" etc.
He said "you can make this easy (meaning HIS way) or make it hard." I told him again that I don't want this divorce, that I know if we BOTH tried with the same effort together that it could honestly work...he didn't want any of it.
Sandy/OW came up....he said there's nothing going on other than a friend he can talk to. I asked "why all those cell phone calls?" and he said "we were either just talking or she needed help around her house." I couldn't let it go---I said, "aren't you afraid of becoming someone else's houseboy?" He said she doesn't look at it that way (yeah right!)
I said I still wanted to talk to her...as a friend and woman to woman. He said "sure you can talk to her, go ahead...I know she feels awful" then backed off and said he'd ask her first.
He's giving me 30 days to think it over; I'm to give him my decision by the end of February (wait a minute...there are 24 days left in January, another 28 in February---DUH! You do the math!) I told him I have a lot to think about and I want to be sure I explore all my options.
He didn't get home until 130a this morning; I asked him at 9a what Sandy said and he said she wants to stay out of it...TOO LATE! I told him "if that's the case, then she needs to let you go while this is all going on." If their "whatever" continues, I think I have the right to tell her to back off.
I talked with my ex bro-in-law, Bobby (was married to Ray's sister) as he's been thru it with the family and is in real estate. He said the mediator may be the best in the long run for Caitie, and he's concerned that since Ray wants joint I may have to pay HIM child support since I make so much more! Plus, tho the house is in both names, it's Ray's VA loan, so I'd have to refinance on my own.
Bobby's concerned that Ray couldn't even handle Caitie 2x a month for 7 straight days---no drinking, he's financially responsible for anything she needs (clothes, bedding, medicine, etc) while in his care. He'll have no insurance unless he can find another job (it's all under my name, so that's leverage for not paying support). Plus, one of us will have to be custodial parent which will have to be me since I don't want to pull Caitie from the school system.
Bottom line....in his desperation to get out, he has not thought thru all the ramifications. There's no way in hell Ray will be able to do what he thinks he can do. I told Bobby that if I lay this all out and show Ray he's stuck himself 'tween a rock and a hard place, he'll get even angrier than he is now.
Ray asked what Mary Ann and I talked about when I picked Caitie up....I told him (lie) "she's sad and asked what your really did to do to try and I said I asked the same thing w/o a satisfactory answer." I made it sound like SHE said "if he really wanted to try, he'd do it more than just once or one way until it worked---just like anyone with a backbone would do when faced with problems" (my way of adding to what I said yesterday).
I told him that if he really tried, we would've had more communication that would've avoided a lot of hurt.
Bottom line...I still love him and don't want this--it's going to be hard, but I'll make the best of these "30 days" and do a lot of soul-searching and research to be sure it works out the best way---whichever way this ends up.
I need to run as Caitie needs me right now (while he's at the hall...natch). I'll try and keep you posted.
LauraB
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Girls rule, boys drool (as Caitie says)
Dear Laura,
I took some time to really read this and I am so sorry you are married to such a man.
I know that you still love him and that makes it doubly hard.
I have told you a little about my friend, maybe I should share more.
She was the same way with her dh. He was always cheating on her and going to the firehouse for this meeting or the Lions club for that meeting- that man had more meetings than anyone I know. The whole time he was cheating on her. She caught him once through his cell phone and traced the OW's number to her house and went over to see the OW. The OW didn't even know he was married! He had told HER that they were legally separated and on their way to a divorce. It was easy for her to believe because he even brought the kids over to play at her house! She showed my friend the kid's toys and everything.
Of course, the OW never wanted to see him again because she felt like he used her and my friend thought that was that.
Well it wasn't.
A few months later the guy who lives next door comes over and asks her why he found my friend's DH's Cell Phone number on HIS WIFE'S phone! So my friend did her detective work and found not only that he was screwing the next door neighbor, but she went on line and saw all these gross porno pictures the neighbor had sent him of HER. TMI about your neighbor!!!
But then she also found all these love letters to the woman he worked with. He was screwing the neighbor AND having an affair with the woman at work. AT THE SAME TIME.
She confronted the woman at work who was also given the "I am seperated story"-- the neighbor is still a mess. They live RIGHT NEXT DOOR and it is horrible.
He tells my friend, he doesn't want to lose his family... he loves her... and the only reason he did it is becuase of there not being enough sex, that he feels like her roomate, and there is nothing left to the marriage.
So she said how can you say you love me? He said well I love you but I am not IN love with you. BUT he won't leave because he refuses to give up the house!
So he lives in the basement. And my friend has gone from a beautiful woman to a tortured soul. She has a look on her face all the time like someone in such torment.
She doesn't believe a thing he says. He claimed to just be friends and just talking with his OW and she asked the OW if they had sex and they said YES!
She has lost 4 years of her life being played by this guy. A leopard doesn't change his spots.
If you fight for him and stay together, he will do it again and again. You have to decide if that is the kind of life you want to lead and if that is the kind of life you and Caitie deserve.
It may hurt alot now- but you will be saving yourself SO MUCH agony later.
And if you move forward-USE A LAWYER!!!! Don't you dare MEDIATE!!! You have rights and you need to protect YOUR ASSETTS!!!!!
Good luck to you. I know it sucks and is NOT what we signed up for... but there IS someone out there for you who will love ALL of you and who will truly believe in his heart that YOU are the only woman in the world. It would be nice for Catie to see that kind of man as an example rather than the example being set for her now..
This is so sad and hard- I am so sorry.0 -
Thanks everyone for the vote for the squirells! My cat will be thrilled- they are his favorite food- he loves them with fava beans and a nice chianti
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Vickie I replied to your PM with a PM too. i am not mad at you. I am not really mad. Just some hurt feelings. I have, as Madison put it so very well, a lot on my plate. BTW, Madison, I am a Yankee and we say it too. must be my heritage of eating all the time at every holiday, great and small.
I had learned many years ago from my grandmother, that if everyone writes their troubles on a piece of paper and puts them in a hat, you will always pull your own back out. I ahve my own set and a lot I have not shared. Suffice it to say, my best friedn suggested I need Effexor or Zoloft or Prozac. She thinks i am too depressed and anxious.
Well, you have all been a good dose of Effexor for me. i wll jsut keep a little low key for a while thats all.
Love and hugs,
Beth0 -
I found "IT" and I made my post!!!!!! NS , My Prayers are with You with Everything Your going through!! (I Love You) to every one else I am Sorry, But this has been a Hard time for me, 2 Funerals this week, I will come back, when I am Stronger!!!{{{BETH }}} Looks like your gonna have to find out about things, on Posting like I did!!! and LOOK I am still around,
We Love Ya, Sweetie, and {{{{ VICKI}}}}} You have never Hurt anyone, ALWAYS Have Shown Nothing but Love!!!!!!! 
OK, off to the " FRUITCAKE TENT" Susan, WHO LOVES YA ( ME ) XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Puppy 0 -
So much for low-key but I need to say something about exes.
Mine was a real sh**. He abused me verbally all the time and did try to hit me once. ONCE! I kicked him in the nuts with a good pair of shoes and he gave up on that tack.
As far as leopards and spots I can empathize. Larry is the best thing has ever happened to me. if I went through this with my ex, he would be out the door so fast.... But before Larry and I knew each other, he ran around on his first wife. He explained it all. When they stopped having sex (for really dumb reasons according to him) he looked elsewhere. He also found out later, she was fooling aroudn and trying to cover up for herself. She was screwing the kid across the street. When he left his ex, she told him she still needed health insurance because she was pregnant with this kid's baby.
i am so afraid of going on Tamoxifen and losing interest in sex and losing him. he tell sme it won't happen but I still sometimes wait for the other shoe to drop with him
Laura-please have a lawyer looking out for you and Caitie. if you need a very good mortgage broker I have at least 3 I can refer you to. I sell real estate and have been through the mill with a lot. To get him off of the deed and mortgage, you will probably have to qualify on your own. As long as your credit is good, you have a very good chance. Please let me now how I can help in that arena. But don't sell out to mediation because of costs. And you can always change your mind and just go the traditional way.
i don't want ot see any woman get cheated out of what is rightfully hers. Also check and see about spousal support. You don't want ot pay him that either. Each state's laws vary on the computation of support and that is where Stan the lawyer, my landsman, comes in.
Love and hugs,
Beth0 -
oh Beth and Vickie. Sometimes feelings get hurt but all the anger stays outside, ok? I would miss you Beth if you left. Sometimes we can make mistakes outside the circle but when we get back in here, all is forgiven. OK? Sometimes we just all have PMS at the same time, even if we are postmenopausal. Vickie you aren't leaving are you. You know if you weren't here, you would probably end up as one of the Squirrels in NS head. That may be fun, you could meet all the other squirrels but we need you here more. i love you both!!!
NS, just think about how happy you will be when you find out it is just migraines!!! ((hugs))0 -
CIRCLE GIRLS!!!
I have decided that there is something in the air this weekend - it's not a full moon - which would explain it - but there is definitely something going on beyond our control. I took down my Christmas decorations and started to clean up around here...that felt good. Oh - and started my hair growing picture project - picture #1 is done! I'll post some when I actually have some hair to see!
So now I am going to forget all the bad stuff and get back to my double-tabbing....
First - NS - good luck on the MRI - at least you'll have some answers - I'm voting for squirrls too... sending positive energy your way... Also thank you for continuing to keep us level during this time...this type of thing is new to me here so kind of caught me off guard...
LauraB - I'm sorry you are dealing with this ... I hope you can find a way to deal with this - I tend to agree with NS - it seems your choice is about you and how you want to live ... best of luck with it all..
Nicki - it's all good...
Susan - thank you for your support...
Vickie - thank you as well...
Beth - whatever happened I hope it's resolved now...
Puppy - you go girl - we love you !!
Hope I didn't miss anyone - only went back two pages...!!
So...now it's time for everyone to come to my spa tent - close your eyes ... hear the soft sounds of the ocean and breeze ... smell the calming scents ... and feel the warmth and love ... I'm brewing some healing tea for all of us... there's a nice bubbling hot spa right in the middle with room for all of us... oh - and the masseurs for those who need a little extra TLC...
Much love and hugs,
Ginney0 -
I'm not going anywhere. You girls are all I have...truthfully.
Oh ladies, circle the wagons...6 month checkup tomorrow and really scared and sad for reasons we all understand. Appointment for blood work at 8:30, meeting with my wonderful caring oncologist at 9 (he's always late so it could be 10)and I will check in and let you know how it went. Praying hard here, not just for myself but for all.
Sweet dreams if I don't come back tonight
Love you all sisters
Vickie
NS...let us know when your MRI is scheduled. Squirrels it shall be! Got a few of them myself (hmmm...maybe their bats...you know...bats in her belfrey!!).
Michelle...sending you hugs and understanding.
Puppy...love you too.
Cheri...hang in there...that quitting is tough...mentally, physically and emotionally. Don't know how I'm going to do it.
Ginney...yup...something in the air...maybe we need another party.
Susan...Love you too!!!
Nicki...glad you liked the OWCH tent...I am sooo evil sometimes...lack of hormones...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Lini...missed seeing you and glad your back.
Hugs to Laura.
Missing many, Madison, Shel, and on and on.
Till morning (unless i can't sleep)
Love again
Vickie0 -
Hi CG's, boy I don't know what I missed but I am glad I missed it.....
let me start by saying that I am very thankful for all of you ladies that are here, when I first entered here, I felt a little uncomfortable and like I would be intruding but everyone was so welcoming and caring that I fell right into the circle with open arms. I feel safe here, which is what we all are supposed to feel when we come here. There are many different personalities here some strong some not so..... I think that is what makes it so cool!
prayers and positive thoughts going your way Vickie!
NS also for you!
Cheri good luck hang in there! sending you some mental will power!!!
to everyone praying for Anthony, please continue and thanks for all the positive stories.... we haven't heard any news yet, hope no news is good news.....we will probably hear from someone tomorrow!
sending lots of prayers and positive thougths to all!0 -
Vickie - Take a pill and sleep tight. Everything will be just fine tomorrow. Thanks for always thinking about me. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
lini0 -
I haven't caught up on all the post and I am tired. I am back at work and don't have as much time to post so most times I try to read. Besides, it probably is best I don't say to much tonight.
NS, glad you are getting the MRI. I am not surprised that this is the next step. I hope you don't have problems as in the past, getting the insurance company to ok.
Anthony continues to be in our prayers.
JoJo, one day when you are feeling OK, drop in and post and let us hear from you and how things are going. The circle has grown from when it was started and when you don't post every day or every week, it kind of gets overwhelming, but just jump in and post. We would love for you to check in - YOU ARE MISSED. Hope you are getting lots of cards. RobinTN, hope you can check in soon too. Mena, we understand but we miss you too. MB, Miss you - how is your husband? Shel, you back yet? Tracey, where are you??
I know I am missing far to many names but my brain is on shut down - it isn't intentional.
Hugs, Brenda0 -
just checking in to say good night...
vickie- everything will go GREAT tomorrow! i just know it!
Michelle, prayers for anthony still going out!!
I am very tired tonight so I will ride the perimeter instead of walking it- I know I promised I would walk from now on but tonight I am saddling up!0
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