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TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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Sheri, I'm so glad to hear that you had a better week! Hang in there and hang on to hope.
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The DaVinci Code is FICTION---and a tedious read besides. I take What's His Face Cameron's theory in the same vein.
Nicki---We're all here when you're ready to talk. What a crappy way to start your birthday.
Cheri---Who is the idiot that planned this hike all over the face of the earth for cancer patients? Obviously, somebody who has NO idea what it's like to be a cancer patient! The more you guys talk about your oncs, the better I like mine.
Vickie--glad you are feeling better. Did nathaniel come down with it? Found a Caron yarn that makes the prettiest pattern when you knit squares with it---have to go to WalMart and buy it in every color they have! May not be in Ithaca at all this coming week but will let you know if I'm on Sam duty Friday.
NS---I talked to you on the Pinkstock thread. I just love your attitude---a lesson to be learned for all of us. They made me take off all of my makeup and nail polish for my surgeries and I felt absolutely naked---62 year old ex make up artists want to be able to at least hide behind their sunglasses if they don't have eye makeup on!
BIL cried last nite when I told him the results were B9. My sister is insane. At least she's in her own place now so I'm not confronted with it all day, every day. I must say the furniture we bought last weekend looks absolutely smashing---think I missed my calling---and it was all on sale too!
Now onc wants me to have bone density and bone scans done before April appt. How much you wanna bet it's garden variety arthritis in my hip and nothing more? That's my diagnosis anyway.
The sun is shining here so think I will do a grocery run and make some soup this weekend. Gotta go get that yarn too! Everyone enjoy their day.
Jeannie0 -
Morning all,
I've started reading posts to catch up but haven't gotten too far. I need to get ready to go to a meeting at the cancer center. It's a support group but an educational one. They have a different speaker every month. This months subject is dealing with the fear of reccurance. Boy do I need to learn how to do that. So I'll try to catch up a little later today.
Sue0 -
Morning All,
Happy Birthday Nicki.....please come visit when you return from your meetings.
NS, Hello .great to see you. I agree with the circle power theory.
Each of the TWELVE apostles were actually tortured to death and NEVER said anything other than what they witnessed. The instrument used to kill them is usually being held in their hands in the statues or pictures of the twelve apostles. (former religion teacher here-I believe I remember my notes)
Jeannie, great on the B9 results. I'm sure the bone scan will show arthritis in your hip. My scans showed the deterioration of my lower spine and cysts on my liver..
Vickie, no hangovers in the cyber world. I finished the afghan last night....I'll post pics later. Now I am working on the "secret" project. Yep, I am a bit crazy.
Alwayshope...I never read the DiVinci Code. One DD had to read it in her senior year at her Catholic high school...interesting discussions were had...
I also agree James Cameron will soon find Elvis!!! He is the one who found the Titanic and directed the film ..all about money
Sheri, glad your son and daughter are doing better.
Karen, glad you had a good check-up. I should think the insurance company will pay for the therapy.
Deb, you throw one wild party sorry we brought some polar bears to your area .Alaska will never be the same
Cheri, so sorry you had such a tough time at your appointment yesterday well take care of you
Cy and all who have a myspace my DD has a myspace Ill have to ask her how to log in I think everyone has to be friends
Morning Betty ..
Sue, your up early this morning. Sue, hope you are feeling better. I went to my first support meeting in February, I want to go to Pinkstock that will be one heck of a support meeting.
Where is Susan? Was she at the party last night?
Bayyore was at the party I bet she is sleeping in this morning she was the one who rescued Vickie from the polar bear
I need to pick up the crochet hook and start working dear friends ..
Good morning to all I missed.
AND NICKI HAVE A GREAT BIRTHDAY!!!!!! You deserve the best!!!
Love to All, Madison0 -
Dr. Robert Ballard discovered the wreck of the titanic in 1985. James Cameron merely made a hollywood movie of the Titanic's mishap.
James Cameron probably couldn't find/discover his way out of a cardboard box! I'm just sayin.... 0 -
Here I am, Madison. Slept in a little...that was a wild party girls...you're all crazy! lol And that's meant in the most lovin way, of course!
Happy Birthday, Nicki! I don't know what going on but do take time to celebrate YOU today--you're a very special wonderful person~!
I was spending time this morning sitting in a sunny window, stroking one of my cats and watching my newly acquired birdfeeders. What a slew of birds out today! I had 2 different kinds of woodpeckers on the woodpecker feeder, about 6 goldfinches on the thistle feeder and bluejays, cardinals, doves(?), starlings and regualr finches on the regular feeder. I'm going to go on a walk--it's so mild and sunny outside.
Happy Saturday, all!0 -
Good morning girls! I've been on autopilot for the past few days, and am still trying to move forward. I've gotten so much support here from you, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
So much good news re test results - big congrats to tgirl, sue, anne, jeannie - is that right? No notes sorry!
Nicki - Happy Birthday and what happened? Please tell us when you're feeling up to it.
G - Love the hair story - you go girl! And thanks for the words for Tim - you were spot on. Glad to hear things seem to be going well with the docs.
Sorry so many of you have been sick, experiencing bad weather, etc.
Love to you all!0 -
Good moning all...
Nicki Happy b day, Happy b day to you!! I'm singing really loud, sorry if it hurts everyones ears.
As good as hearing the good news yesterday, had some problems. Went out with some friends to have a beer and celebrate and one friend got a phone call that her sil committed suicide yesterday. Really damper to the night.
Also we need to bring Ishop1 into the circle, she's having some personal issues and really needs to feel our good vibes.xoxo
I'm at work today, because I played around on the phone yesterday.
vickie...Has there been any word on Trenton lately? Still tinking of him and all of our little friends lately.
I would love the wheelchair but only if I could put a cooler on the back!!
I'll try to join the party later today. xoxo Love to all!0 -
Hey everyone. I blew off going to the group home. My husband came home weeping last night. Thats what I woke up to and he couldnt stop. Probably all his pent up emotions from the last 2 years. We just finished talking again - and I guess all is well. He went back to sleep and we agreed to put it all behind us. Will open birthday presents when he wakes up.
I never thought turning 57 would be that hard. Just realized Im in the Autumn of my life. This morning was an ordeal emotionally, but I realized something - I have become strong. I can put on that fight mode by just blinking. BC did something. It taught me to be a fighter and move on.
Nicki
Thanks for all the Birthday cheers. Made me feel good and I have a smile on my face now.
Nicki0 -
Hi all, I'm here and I'm doing good just a bit tired. I am doing a lot of exercise to get my knee back. At least an hour a day and then travel time.
Shirley how are you doing?
Sue, Jeannie, and Teresa, woohoo for you. I love good news.
Ishop I'm sending you a big hug. Get warm in the middle of the circle.
Cheri, sorry your trip was so stressful. Your right, everyone has a handicap sticker. I struggled with my knee for several years and had to walk. As soon as I had the knee replaced (so I can walk better) I get the sticker. As as far as I can tell it's good forever. go figure. In another couple of months I won't need it anymore.
Nicki happy birthday. I hope things are ok. please take care of yourself.
Well, I'm gonna go read about the party I missed.
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Wow- I love you girls!!!
Happy B-day Sweet Nicki...You're beautiful Damn it!!!
I want to stay and chat, but I got the MOST amazing opportunity. dana Stabenow, one of my all time favorite authors is in my little town today doing a writing workshop. It is sponsored by the library and when I called to sign up it was full they only took 20 people. I was bummed, but kind of put it out of my mind. I was going to go to a book signing she is having afterward .ANYWAY I got a call this morning and someone canceled! I get to go to the workshop!
WooHooo
OK, I know I am a writer-nerd to be so excited, but I love this stuff!
Gotta run
Ill be back later to gush about how wonderful Dana is
Hugs
Deb C0 -
Ooooh, Deb, enjoy! I'm a writer nerd too--would love to join you. Have fun and learn a lot!
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Afternoon girls. I have a serious question. I'm calm though. You all know I just saw my oncs NP yesterday. They did bloodwork and she did an examination of both breasts. A little bit ago I ran my hand over my bad breast and there's...a lump. Or maybe a knot. It itched is why I even noticed it but there's nothing red or showing on the outside of my skin. I've never felt a lump/knot before the one I had at dx was discovered on a mammogram. But there is certainly something there. This being saturday I can't call the office. I feel sure it is nothing but it has now began to bother me, not really hurting just getting sore to the touch but that could be due to the fact that I have checked it several times. For the first time since surgery I can say that I'm a bit frightened. It's about the size of the top of my fingernail. Why wasn't it found yesterday? I've always been prone to those fibrocysts but none have ever been big enough that I could feel them. What do you think? How could she have missed something like that? My blodwork looked good. Just needed to tell somebody without it spreading through my family because it's probably nothing to worry about. So I'm going to try hard not to worry. I'd like some opinions though if any of you have any ideas. I'm not real upset just concerned.
Thank YOu,
Cheri0 -
Cheri, sorry you are worried.....lean on us for support..
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Aww Cheri...Madison is right, lean on us and we'll keep you upright and on the right path. Don't let your mind wander off to scary places. You just had an appointment and something "bad" shouldn't just suddenly pop up like that. It could be dozens of different things. Pop over here and have a blue drink!
Nicki...oh my goodness...was sooo very worried after your post this morning and praying hard for things to be ok. I'm glad the air got cleared a bit and hope your birthday is as special as you are....big birthday hugs to you.
Great news Deb and have a wonderful time.
Ishop is in the middle of our circle for all our strength and love.
Susan...glad your feeling a little better...you missed quite a party last night!!!
Tgirl...still no news on Trenton. So very sad about that. I do believe (as do the police) that Melinda sent him overseas somewhere in which case he will probably never be found. I just pray he is safe and loved. My daughters SIL has a whole section of her myspace page dedicated to him, telling him how much she misses and loves him...it makes me cry every time I go there.
Alwayshope...James Cameron, I'm with you...elevator goes up but the doors don't open. He's doing nothing more than trying to make a name for himself. I would think he'd come up with a smarter way to do it.
Madison...PUT DOWN THE CROCHET HOOK!!! My goodness girl you must be crocheting in your sleep!! Just teasing, I got another two boxes of squares today so you should be getting some too...I posted a little story about it in the Afghan thread...can't post it again or I'll cry again.
Sheri...I'll try to find you account and I'll pm you my email address...my daughter set it up and I'm clueless LOL. It is fun though.
gotta get busy
Love ya all
Vickie0 -
Hmmm...looks like everyone thinks they missed the cyber party at Debs...guess what ladies...it goes all weekend and today we are celebrating Nicki's birthday too!!! Come on over and join the fun but don't drink the blue drinks!! They do strange things to Cheri.
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OK back from my meeting and have read the past couple pages.
Deb - thanks for the info. No I haven't changed bras but have only recienty been wearing one again since healing from rads. OH have lots of fun at the workshop.
Cheri - Sorry your day was so frustrating yesterday. Glad your bloodwork was ok. Sorry your worried about your new finding. Sorry I don't have the words to ease your concerns. Don't you hate the weekends when the Doc. is just not as available. Gentile hugs, climb into the circle where it's safe.
Niki - Happy, happy birthday! I would post you a card but I don't know how.
Hope everything is ok. No stress allowed on birthdays.
Betty - Have a good breakfast.
Madison - Love the new Afghan.
Bayyore - I love watching birds. They are so entertaining.
To all who responded to my LE question. Thank you so much. I was hoping to hear "chest wall LE alone - can't happen". Oh well. I am still a bit swollen this morn. and my shoulder seems kind of stiff. God I hate this beast.
My meeting went well. Info on relaxation, yoga, and other techniques to keep the fear at bay. I just want to get to a point where I don't think of BC 24hrs a day, every day.
Hugs
Sue0 -
Hello, CGs! Yes, I know it's been a long time and I pop in every now and then to catch up, but have been too upset to post. Sorry this will be a LONG one to get you caught up.
First and foremost...HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NICKI! But, I'm concerned what's up with T, so PM me if you want.
I've been trying to take everything day by day but it's still SO hard. Here's the latest....and it ain't pretty.
Caitie had a sleepover at a friends on Fri. 2/16...Ray & I hadn't been dealing with each other well, so I took opp to visit with my sis and friends that evening---without telling him. Lo and behold (no big surprise) he stayed out all night (at the OWs) and came home about 7a Sat. morning w/a separation and shared-parenting agreement!
I glanced at it (already saw one mistake---we were married in Vegas NOT Cleveland) and didn't pay it much mind all weekend. I stayed home Mon. 2/19 with Caitie and read it...what a joke! Anyway, I called my lawyer on Tue. 2/20, told him what Ray gave me and he said (without seeing the papers---I have yet to retain him)..."tell him they're unacceptable and that's all we're going to say about it."
That night after Caitie's bath, he tells us he's going out (she's always at the Hall Tue. with her son) and promises he'll be back at 8p to put Caitie to bed. Sure enuf--read to her until 830p and he wasn't home. Finally showed up at 845p and she was fast asleep.
We chatted very briefly and he went downstairs. I debated postponing turning the papers in, but figured there's no point in waiting. When I went downstairs and told him what my lawyer said....HE WENT BALLISTIC! I tried to leave but he told me to sit and listen...I kept calm, cool, and when I tried to speak and he interrupted, I just shut up. It's a bit hazy what happened next, but he grabbed me by my upper arms--he said he was trying to get me out of the room, I remember thinking he's holding me here to rant. I told him to back off, I could call the police, and when I reached for the phone he pushed me back.
He continued to rant (was blocking the door) but I finally said I didn't walk to discuss it any more. He followed me upstairs while calling his lawyer "Alix, it's Ray. It got physical, she refuses to sign, so I'll get your retainer and we'll go forward with the divorce action."
I totally ignored him and went into the bedroom (Caitie's been sleeping with me for a couple of weeks---we found mold behind wallpaper outside her room). He followed me in...and a**hole got a gun from his closet! He commented "Now I know why Dave took the easy way out" (his boss committed suicide on 2/16!) and started to unzip the case on the bed next to Caitie! I told him to get it out of there, what are you doing with it---we went into the dining room, he handed me the bullets, I asked him to show me the chamber was empty, and he took the gun upstairs. he came back, grabbed some clothes, told me he hated me (and Caitie heard) and called me the "c" word...and left. I found the gun and hid it.
I tell you...I was fine that night, and never afraid but by the time I got to work on Wed. I was shaking! He called at 8a asking for the gun and when I asked why he said to get it out of the house. I talked with a few people about what happened, called my lawyer, and decided to report it to the police in case I needed it for the custody issue.
Zero tolerance...despite me not pressing charges, signing a restraining order, or wanting him arrested, they arrested him at 1p at his work. He was in jail overnight, and had a hearing the next morning--he divulged the gun was in his truck at work so he had to turn it over and post $500 cash bond.
I posted his bond out of my account (I know..I don't want to hear it) and drove him back to his work. Because of the domestic violence charge and the gun, Children & Family Services showed up on Wed. night! Since we didn't know where the gun was at the time (but they didn't ask about the restraining order) they told me he could not return to the house or they could take Caitie from ME! I had to tell him he could not go home and suggested he stay with his step-dad until CFS was confident Caitie was safe.
He broke down, blamed everything on me...I told him it would be in his best interest to start counseling immediately (my work entitles us to 3 free sessions each, and coverage under insurance).
Sure enough....he's staying at the OWs! He refuses to stay with family because he doesn't want to hear what they have to say about the divorce and the arrest, and he won't come home because what if we had another argument and I called the cops---he'd be in jail in a heartbeat! He pleaded not guilty and pre-trial is set for 4/9. After talking with a domestic violence liason at the courthouse and a victim's advocate at the jail, he'll probably not be convicted on the DV (I'm unsure about the gun---it was a gift, but not registered).
Oh, I can't believe how bad this has gotten! I don't regret reporting this, but I do regret everything that happened as a result! I'm also NOT keeping that lawyer because he never told me what could happen as a result (tho he thought he did...maybe his age IS a factor).
Anway, since there's no restraining order, CFS has no jurisdiction over the case. However, a social worker will still meet with us before they'll close the case. Ray absolutely hates me...yet I know everything that happened were the result of HIS issues, HIS lack of control, HIS anger, HIS drinking, and HIS depression.
My therapist has no doubts he's depressed and is alcohol dependent...she saw him this past Thur. (confidentiality keeps her from saying anything about their sessions, but she'll have insight into both sides). I'm praying continued therapy gets him to the point that he takes accountability for where he's at in his life and NOT put all the blame on me.
It's so painful to think that we're too far gone to fix...Caitie's been doing OK; he's been able to see her this week and took her out to lunch today---but the smugness he displayed when he brought her back and got more clothes just eats at me!
There's so much more, gals, but I don't want to take up a whole page! I don't need any "I told you so's" right now, but I also want to listen to others' advice. The key is I need to keep myself healthy and strong...we have a long road ahead (I'm retaining a new lawyer I met as soon as a 401k loan comes through).
On the bright side!? I treated myself to vanity license plates---Ohio offers the pink ribbon; my new plates came in on Wed.: SRVVOR AND, I have a new nipple and tatoo! What's very bittersweet....I didn't have MY ROCK and best friend with me at the final steps of my journey---and it hurts! He did call on Tue. after my procedure to ask how it went, who took me (no one--went by myself) and I didn't have the heart to talk. Otherwise, he will NOT discuss the cancer, it's effects, etc.---like it didn't exist.
Anyway, I need to finish this up...feel free to PM me and say some prayers (God knows I say the Serenity Prayer every hour!) I will get through this....it's just so UNBELIEVABLY painful!
Love,0 -
Laura--
First of all, many prayers are coming to you and Caitie. I know this is excruciating, especially since it just keeps escalating. Things will get better, I promise. It seems like it will take the rest of your life sometimes but it does get better.
I know you said you didn't want any advice but take it from me, the Queen of Please Don't Arrest My Husband He's Just Crazy and Depressed---don't enable him. You just end up creating a bigger monster because he counts on you to not hold his feet to the fire.
Can you change the locks on your house? You don't know where that gun is and he certainly shouldn't have access to your home. Unfortunately, orders of protection aren't worth the paper they're printed on but would give you a hammer if he comes anywhere near you. Unfortunately, I speak from experience on that one too. My ex threatened to have me killed to both of our kids and my DIL---who just happens to be a Federal Agent.
I have been worried about you just because it's been so long since I've seen a post from you and now I'm REALLY worried about you. Please do what you have to do to protect yourself and Caitie and stop worrying about his obvious problems---he's a grownup and responsible for his choices. Sounds like the OW is getting exactly what she deserves.
If you would like to talk PM me your phone number---or I'll PM you mine if you would rather.
Please be strong. Please be safe.
Jeannie0 -
Oh Laura, I am so sorry you are going through such hell. You sound incredibly strong through it all and I really admire you. I have no advice..just my support and cyber hugs for you!
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LauraB: This is just awful. I keep reading your post and trying to understand why you are changing lawyers. I think you did the right thing by calling the police. Your current lawyer has some history - or so I thought.
Congratulations on the nips and tatoos! You deservie it.
My poor T is just overwhelmed. Guess once the port came out we both realized this part of the journey was over. We could take a deep breath and let our guard down. But letting your guard down, also opens up a whole new situation. Where you get feelings again. We have both been numb for 2 years.
I feel so humbled. What I experienced this morning is nothing like what you and Caitie are going through. My heart aches for you.
I wont preach to you. Im sorry you are going through this and wish there was something I could do.
Nicki0 -
Happy Birthday Nicki! Even though you had a rough start to the day, I hope it ends up enjoyable for you!
Laura, I am sorry that you are going through all of this. Sending my support your way!
Ishop, big hugs to you and I hope that your issues resolve soon.
I am still feeling wiped out and achy from Thursday's treatment, but wanted to check in real quick and say hi to all of you!
Kristin0 -
NS: I did see about Jesus' coffin, wife, child, etc. Excuse me, but I think my beliefs will remain the same!! Where they come up with this stuff is besides me!
Hugs,
Denise0 -
quick hello and happy Bday Nicki...
ok now back to read the posts...lol...may take a while..
MB0 -
About the lawyers...although I like Stan, the first one, and the domestic liason at the courthouse said both Stan and Alix (Ray's) were good, Stan just doesn't do a lot of civil cases anymore. Plus, the victims advocate at the jail said I may need to get someone "stronger" than Stan.
She recommended Harry Jacob who I met with on Wed. He's around 52 years old, a family man, Catholic (raised Lutheran), has his own practice, and handles about 45% of domestic cases. He knows Stan from being on the grievance board together, and was disturbed that Stan didn't explain to me what would happen if I filed with the police. Leaving out that information weakened my confidence in Stan....he's a nice guy (wife is 20 yr survivor, daughter is Stage IV) but if this gets ugly, I need someone who's closer to the action (Stan's downtown Cleveland; Harry's right here in my town) and knows the players (he knows all the judges, cops, lawyers---and admitted Alix is not very thorough; "sloppy" is the way he put it).
Hell...looking for a lawyer was the LAST thing I ever thought I'd need to do!0 -
Oh LuaraB, sounds like ya got a good new lawyer. But I sure am glad you explained. Still dont think it was bad that you called the police. If this ends up getting uglier, at least that is one black mark against him.
Im going to the cyber party thread and getting myself a glass of wine
Nicki0 -
Happy Birthday Nicki
Still no computer for me..on borrowed time
I couldn't resist this pic from a nearby mall..I was engaging in retail therapy..
My mammo did not show anything where the NP in the oncs office felt something in my remaining breast. He thought maybe she felt scar tissue from a three year old lumpectomy. I am cautiously optimistic as my lump on the other breast didn't show either until it was 2cm..
Wait and watch...sound familiar??
Wish I could give you some advise, Laura, but I cannot. My heart goes out to you.
Hugs, Lisa0 -
<PERSONAL OPINION ALERT ...NOT FACT SO TAKE IT FOR WHAT ITS WORTH>
Laura, While Stan should have told you the consequences, I still applaud him. Once a gun was brought into the situation, its a whole new ballgame! And a dangerous one. You may think hubby was just trying to bluff or scare you but there are countless women who have been there that have found too late the bluff to be a real one. No mature, in their right mind, adult even mentions a gun let alone brings one into the situation WHILE THEIR OWN CHILD is there. This man who would do such a thing is irrational and unpredictable.0 -
And dangerous---so change the locks and get an order of protection!
Thank you Always!!
Don't forget, I'm on the board of directors for the Jenna Foundation for NON-VIOLENCE. We hear way too many stories like this and what has happened scares the bejeezus out of me.0 -
Well, I was just told on another thread that I'm overweight and have this santa belly because I'm a fat, lazy, gluttonous slob. LOL. The sad thing is that before diagnosis and this new belly I've found myself with, I used to think like that too...that overweight people overate, ate unhealty junk food and never exercised. Boy, did that way of thinking come back to kick me in the fanny! I know I ate the ice cream last week and I feel bad for that but you know what...you can only deny yourself stuff for so long with little or no results before you binge.
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