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TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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Shokk...you didn't sound selfish. NS is always in all our thoughts and I was as happy to see her as you and I'm sure everyone was. She is our cheerleader.
Thank God for all of us!
Hugs and love
Vickie0 -
NS, how have you been enjoying the new microwave?
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AlwaysHope....how can one person say so much in such short sentences........NS I'm not sure but I think AlwaysHope is messing with you just a bit.......it won't be long before we can download that job application for NS at the "Nuculear Power Plant".......
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Oh my! Nuclear Power Plant Manager....I think I'm moving soon!
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Ok guys I think I have had way to much coffee plus I am so happy NS is feeling better but anyhoo tonight my daughters are going to spend the night with their dad....I will be home alone for the first time since Christmas.....anyway I'm thinking about going to see a movie (by myself)I haven't been in months to see anything......does this make me a total loser?????I mean its going to be date night and I am sooooooo dateless in Dallas....so very, very dateless in Dallas..........I really don't have any single friends (my husband got custody of most of our friends) in the divorce.....anyway I really don't mind going by myself but I just want to get out for alittle while....I let ya'll know what I decide........
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Sounds awesome Shokk. I think you need to join a Red Hat group in your area. Tons of fun and silliness and you'll never have to be silly alone again!
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bwaaaahaaahaaaa! shok!
my husband got custody of a bunch of debt (his own doing) and approximately one friend (because he doesn't like anybody)!
i'd just about kill for a night to myself, my ex and daughter never, ever see each other ....... but on the rare occasion that i'm on my own, i often go to the movies, dinner, fashion shows, etc. all by myself!
i actually met an intriguing guy once by doing this, but more importantly, i learned to enjoy my own company and just 'be me'!
you go girl ......... take it from an amateur at divorce .....it only gets better, and there is nothing wrong with doing things alone!!!!! it's nice to have a companion, but not necessary!
sometimes it's actually refreshing lololol!0 -
I am SUCH a dork .So my little break lasted all of one day LOL
Somehow I thought I could just turn off all the TV and computers and throw the newspaper in the trash and cancer would disappear from my life The all-powerful mind of Debbie could eliminate cancer from existence just by ignoring it .nope didnt happen. Reality bites sometimes .
Can I claim temporary insanity? I got up this morning and couldnt get going until I say Hey to my circle girls.
I did have a good day yesterday. I took my girls and a bunch of their squealy friends to the local pool. I even slapped a swimsuit on my fat behind, stuck some puffy bath scrubbies in the top and went swimming. We had a great time until we saw kids bailing out of the shallow end like crazy. We hopped out just in time to see the lifeguard get the skimmer net NOT a good sign. Yep you guessed it there was something floating in the pool and it was NOT a candy bar! I have only so much faith in the power of chlorine, and since we had already been swimming for almost 3 hours we were OUT of there LOL
We went to Carls Jr (a burger place) for Linner lunch-dinner. I had never been there before and ordered a burger with guacamole on it .can you say FAT GRAMS. I ate it and Im glad
It was HUGE. We had never been there before, but I think we would go back
.yummy bad-for-me food
Went for a walk with my dog when I got home, spent some time reading in bed with my DH. We ended up having a great talk about both of our fears for the future. It surprised me that he feels so many of the same things I do, he is just better at not dwelling on his fears. I am actually writing an essay on learning to love uncertainty I really am trying to work on my control-freak tendencies.
I hate how I felt yesterday. It was a bad combination of fear and anger. Fear for EE and for all my friends and mostly for myself. Anger because the media is so friking stupid they dont know the difference between mets and bone cancer. Mad because everyone is fawning over this poor woman, quoting stats that are wrong and scary and she has a battle for her life in front of her. Mad because I know so many other women that are quietly fighting the same fight and no one seems to give a damn. It made me nuts.
I guess I cant run from any of it. I need to learn to deal with the bad with the good. Anybody want to help??? I think I might be trainable .0 -
Good Morning all,
Well, I thought I was back and everything was good with the laptop. But it still won't connect properly. I can't get on anything bc.org related and have trouble with other pages. It's less than a year old, but we are now shopping around for a new one. Got to have my Circle Girl connection.
The news about EE upset me too. One day after I'm told everyhting is good with me, here's someone who was dxed a few months before and now her world is turned upside down again. But reading all of your comments about the situation has made me feel better. It's still a crap shoot.
So here I am writing from work when I should be working. I'm feeling so out of it, not being able to catch up with everyone. But then my bathroom closet still isn't fixed either. LOL
Have a good weekend everyone. Hope to get on even if I have to steal DH's computer.
Betty0 -
Betty, I sure hope you get your computer issues solved soon. We miss you in the circle. 0
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omg deb............ nobody gives a damn!!!!!!
THAT'S IT!!!!!!! that's what put my knickers in a twist! but you're right, we can't run (or hide) ........ shit, i'm still just so pissed........ put my little ass on CNN.......I'm just your average everyday chick, but i (and all of us) represent the true 'face of BC' ........ interview my kid.......her heart is breaking, her emotions are so confused and yet she functions everyday, gets staight A's, hides her fears and 'keeps on keepin on'!
i'm soooooooo fed up with this whole mess! i know i'm dealing with lots more than BC/mets, but damn it anyway.......where is the real reflection of this shit?
so for now, i listen to really loud music, remodel my house, shop like a fool, and lie awake all night pondering my own reality!0 -
Hey shel-
Where is my banner and marching shoes? I feel the need to revolt and march on Washington or something!
I recently read this little inspirational quote about life being a rollercoaster ride with lots of ups and downs, twists and turns. The point of the quote was that we were supposed to just relax and quit trying to steer...it was the need to control things that caused the stress, not the actual ride.
At first I thought it was kind of a cool quote...all Zen and "go with the flow". But the more I think about it the more it makes me mad! I didn't choose this roller coaster and I WANT to steer damn it! I want to make decisions and be in control. I think the loss of control has been one of the hardest things for me to take
I start feeling like if I only try hard enough, look long enough, work fast enough, I can change this ride. I would like for us all to have a nice buggy ride in the country, or a fast ride in a convertible instead of a roller coaster for a while .
I laughed about the loud music and shopping ME TOO! I have bought more crazy stuff on e-bay than I care to admit and my stack of new books by the bed is now threatening to topple over and smother me in the night.
I sure dont have any answers I guess we need to just keep muddling along ..
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Geezz I thought I was going to have to go thru "DebC withdrawls" this weekend.....I'm glad DebC you just needed a day........stick around the board seems to be on a rebound........Shel thanks so much for the words of encouragement...this whole divorce thing has been brothering me especially watching Edwards standing by his wife yesterday....I know so many of us are doing this bc grap alone but geezzzzz....AlwaysHope my mom belongs to the Red Hat Group.....I'm too young (50) pleazzzzzz tell me I'm too young............
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Just for information purposes only:
Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of perseverance i.e. believing that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.0 -
Shokk, I'm not 50 yet either but I'm going to join and wear the pink hat until I can earn a red hat when I turn 50.
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Welcome home Deb!! Glad your back. You and Shel said it best. Oh for a nice convertible ride in the country.
I agree with Shel...put our children on CNN...sometime I think they suffer worse than we do and I know that I suffer for them probably more than for myself.0 -
CRUD! I just had a whole big post eaten!! (Got lazy and didn't type on Word like I usually do...) Rats. I'll have to try again after work. But...
Gina - nice to hear from you.
Deb - glad you're back
Shokk - You're not a looser - you're just a self-confident woman, who is comfortable with herself!
Laura - here's a hug and 6 days of hand holding until your appointment. It'll be fine - I know because I'm the queen of worrying.
The biggest part of my post was to say I'm in a really great mood today! I'll post more later.
Hugs all around!!
Anne0 -
Anne, bummer...don't you just hate when that happens! Glad you are having such a great day!
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hi ladies!!!
well today is a better day... i am really tired out but thats just from the extra stress this week!!! things are better with hubby and daughter is home safe and sound...
so i was sitting there last night thinking about my daughters behavior and i came up with this idea... i asked her to get a pen and paper and write down three goals she has and also 3 things she would like to see change...so when she brought it to me... the three things see wants to see change is 1. to have a better relationship with me.. 2. to be more honest with me..3. well i am drawing a blank on this one... but i think we are off to a good start... i hope...
well like i said i am so tired out so i am going to go and get the biggest steak i can find tonight for a bbq.... that ususally does the trick for me.... lol
lol deb glad you couldnt stay away for long!
ns very nice to see you.... you have been missed lots!
hugs to jas, nikki, laura, vickie,susan, shokk,
ty for all your imput on my kid ladies.... really helped me get through this!!!
to all i cant remember names right now extra hugs.... i am at work and drew a blank i have my name list at home!!!!
tra ey0 -
shel- so great to see you posting and your spirit has not been broken by all of the stuff you've been thru and are still dealing with. Did I read you were turning 40? What happened to shel38? Time sure flies! Scary huh? But as they say it beats the alternative. 40 was a breeze for me, "they" also say Life begins at 40!
Deb- glad to see you posting, I hope being here is better than dealing alone.
NS- your words are so well written. Thanks for posting your feelings, I am glad you are feeling well enough to be here for us.
Hugs to all, I am s'pose to be at work in a half hour, gotta get in the shower. Have a fun CyberParty tonight.0 -
hi all,
taking a break for a while. need to think about something besides cancer. my brain waves are out of sorts.
s.0 -
TracEy, so glad to hear that things are on the mend with your family. Time to move forward. How are your studies going?
Susan, you will be missed. Hurry back!0 -
jasmine is always so helpful with clarification on definitions, and posting links to further our knowledge.
thanks jasmine!0 -
Good afternoon CGs,
I'm home from work and bone-tired this week. I don't know why. Right now I'm tired of people calling me and asking if I saw EE on the news. What are you going to do??? Are you scared???? What if it happens to you??? Guess what? I'll deal with it just like before.
Shel, NS and Deb put it into words the best. You are right. For the most part we are ignored, until someone famous steps into the media glare. All the hype only serves to upset everyone, when we should be concentrating on being a loving support system for our sisters.
Shel, you said nothing wrong. It is NEVER wrong to voice one's opinion. Where else could you say whatever you wanted and not be judged? We "get it". This is a terrible disease and unfortunately is our common thread. It is a sisterhood that no one wants to join. Yet, here we are. And we are stronger and better for having met all the beautiful women on this site! And yes, I'm beautiful, dammit!
We need to step back and take a collective deep breath. Now we can get on with the business of loving and supporting one another
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I love each and every one of you.0 -
Hi again,
Nicki, Kathy Griffin deserved a smack upside her head for that tasteless comment!
Vickie, oooooh Mamma! New boobies! I'll bet you look great. Can't wait to see your new pic.
Laura, I glad your MIL is doing better. When my mom had passed away, my dad (with Alzheimers) was so lost without her. She used to yell at him and nag him all day long. We used to get so pissed at her, but it turned out that she was what kept him grounded. I hope your MIL is home soon and keeping your FIL on track.
Tracey, I hope you and your DD can get it together. It sucks when we are at odds with our kids. My kids had their fair share of trouble, so I kind of know where you are coming from. I raised boys and I think it's a little easier than girls. I was one of three girls and I was a living nightmare!! Good luck!
Hi Cheri, Hope everything is well! I'm not sure I will be at the par-tay tonight. We shall see. I may stop in to sneak a blue drink.0 -
Hello Everyone: Well I have 1/2 hour before I head out to this open house and thought I would check in and say hello.
Well, I used up all my time reading your posts and now I have to go.
NS! Your back! So glad to see your post.
Debc: I just jumped off the couch when I saw your post. So glad your back cause I sure would have missed you.
See ya all in the morning. Im off to mingle and shake hands. Dont worry - Im gonna be near a sink and washing them constantly.
Nicki
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Helloooooo Nickie!
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Hello again...
see? sick of me already???!
I am going to PAY tonight for all the typing I am doing today!
But I wanted to share something with you -
you all know this surgery was pretty tough on me. When they do the full node dissection it really makes it worse. Plus I am having blood clots in that arm and LE in both arms. And I am still the drain queen.
I am pretty beat up, worn out and haven't slept since the anesthesia- And even though I have drains hanging out of me and have scars and weird skin flaps and swelling pockets of god knows what- I think these new ones look FANTASTIC! I can't even remember what my old ones looked like. All I remember is that they were filled with cancer. A lot of it. And now it is gone. Yes, I have been getting some bad news about the path but it is the past tense because those breasts are history.
Maybe because I am a medical geek and find things like this fascinating, but it is really cool how they did this.
I just wish it didn't hurt so darn much!
Just thought I would tell you that even though things are rough right now I am glad I went through it. Because that cancer was big and it went to the nodes. Now I have no breasts and no nodes. So trading cancer for LE and blood clots is ok with me right now.
Love you,
g0 -
NS, hang in there. It will get better. You are having it so much rougher because of the inability to take pain meds. They would help make you sleepy so you could rest. The node removal was the worst part for me too but I didn't have nearly what all you are going through. Have you considered getting some speech recognition software and a microphone to dictate?
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Boy NS, you are really going through the wringer! I feel so bad that this recovery is taking so long. I had 24 nodes removed and it's no picnic, but I didn't go through half of what you're going through. I have mild LE on one side and it doesn't effect my hands. I agree, if you could take pain meds, you'd be having a much easier time. Good Luck and thanks for keeping us updated! We are always here when you need us!
Love and hugs,0
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