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TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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Margaret...I have tons of yarn that are perfect for the kniffy knitter that I will mail to you!!! PM me your address. It is donated yarn (15 garbage bags full!!!)and it is rolled into balls of two colors per ball.
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I have now moved my computer to the FOOT of my bed.... how crazy is that? If I'm not the first on in the am now, I should be in trouble.xoxo
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Ladies it sadens me to tell you My friend Emily will be released from the hopital on Moday to hospice care at home. the tumor has more than doubled in the last tqo weeks. Her Dr. is saying 2 - 4 weeks. I'm just beside my self. I wish there was something I could do beside pray for her family and small children!
My stomach has been hurting for the last couple of days but I'm sure it's nothing especially in comparison to what poor Emily is going through.
Please pray that they can ease her pain during this time
as I know you will.
Hugs & Prayers0 -
OH CY...sending you hugs and lots of prayers for both you and Emily and her family. So very sad. My heart goes out to all of you.
Theresa...hmmm...planning on joining the sunshine sister huh! Good for you...see you in the morning. I'll probably oversleep as I'm beat!!!!0 -
Hi all,
I'm doing a fly by tonite. I read all the posts. I feel a good connection with all of you. I guess this is one of the good parts of being a ca survivor.
Kristin, I have felt envious and unsocialble before. I think it's normal.
Cheryl, so sorry to hear about your friend. May she find all the joy possible every day.
margaret you will like the knifty knitter.
Even though I am never up at that time, I enjoy the sunshine girls. Keep it up you all. I don't really care who's first. I jsut like the sunshine.
Vicki, i can't tell you how angry that makes me. I hate the fact that I've had cancer. I hate the fact that you have had cancer. But if it has made someone's life great they can keep it to themselves. How selfish. Maybe I'll mellow out about this someday, I don't know. hasn't happened yet.
Robin, we had good weather today. just beautiful. I think the storms are arriving tomorrow.
xo
susan0 -
I didn't think I'd get back on tonight cuz my GD is spending the night. She's all tucked in! Funny, My DD fights with her everynight about going to bed. GD won't stay in bed, every excuse in the book, DD gets fit to be tied and on and on. She has not once pulled that on me..(hope I didn't just curse myself!) I put her down and she's out for the night. Hope they never find out that I spike her milk at night! Just kidding!
Vickie: Family, ugh. So nice that you enhanced your sisters life. I'm sure it wasn't meant to sting..but if they would only think before they comment.
Laura: Thanks for the input on BCRA testing....I don't know alot about it, and from you all have said, I don't think that I'd qualify for it anyhow. I definetly don't want to do it if it isn't necessary and might mess up my DD insurance down the road.
Cy: I am so sorry to hear of yet another loss heading this way. I wish I could help you.....know that Emily is in the center of the circle and prayers are with her.
Margaret: WhooooHooooo, another knifty knitter on the way! I don't even remember who it was that mentioned it to me..but I'm glad they did. I think there are quite afew of us now!
Auction? What kind? I love auctions..good luck.
Gotta get to bed....a 3 year old will be up bright and early I'm sure!
Hugs,
Denise0 -
CY, sending you hugs for your friend Emily.
Susan, I'm all thumbs so it will be interesting to see how the Knifty Knitter does.
Vickie, I sent you a PM.
Denise, I volunteer for a non-profit that benefits underprivileged kids through age 18 in my county. Our fundraiser raises money to send them to science camp for a week, provides teddy bears to kids pulled from their homes, and provides movie tickets, restaurant gift certificates, etc. to teens who live in group homes. It's a dinner dance and live and silent auction - we have some awesome items donated - for 16 women we raise anywhere from $18 to $30k from the auction, and I'm one of the co-chairs of the organization this year.
Margaret0 -
Vicki:thank you for the comment about nursing.It has had its hard times and its good times to and I think of all the people I have taken care of in the beginning and wonder if they remember me at all.I have been in management for over the past ten years.Dont know what I want to do when this ca crap is over but i want it to be something good.
Margaret:I am glad you can hear me.I am realizing that I am going to beat this EVIL and it is going to be soon.Just got to see what the lawyer says next week.
Susan:hope the storms pass you by.
Cy:I am so sorry and will be praying for you and Emily and her family also.At a time like this what else can we do but bow down to God?
The EVIL came home around 8 pm tonite I heard him downstairs working on something then next thing I knew he was logged on.Havent seen him since the blow out earlier in the week.I get so disappointed each time I hear him pull in the drive i could puke.Nice nursing term huh?
Cant wait to see what tomorrow will bring.Think I am gonna get out my electronic embroider machine and take another go at it.I never met a piece of craft machine that I cant master and I am going to get the best of this one to.
Good nite all,until tomorrow!0 -
Good evening sweet ladies.
We had a busy day here in the North Land. It was kind of gray and windy, but our snow is almost gone. Once the mud dries up it will be time for me to get out in the garden. I have a REALLY bad case of spring fever. I did some cuttings from my big indoor geranium and put them in a vase in the window to root. I will have lots of little pink geraniums to plant outside in a month or so.
I had a major assembly line going on the kitchen table today. We printed, folded and stuffed almost 200 please donate letters for relay for life today. On Monday they will all get dropped at the post office. In the same vein, I wanted to thank my secret sister who donated to the Relay through the link on my blog. I got the idea she didnt want me to post a public thank-you here, but she really made me smile with her donation and letter pay it forward indeed! Maybe she will see this and smile too .Thanks again.
While I was stuffing envelopes, I started a list of people I know that are survivors that didnt come and walk the first lap of the Relay last year some of them didnt know about it, some of them are newly Dx this year, some of them just moved here I came up with 11 new survivors that I know well enough to invite to this years relay! I dont know if I should feel good or bad about it ..
I am still working on a way for all of you to walk with me on the survivors lap I have a couple of ideas, and I will make sure and post photos.
Hey Jeannie I have not heard much about the trip plans lately. Are you still coming? The relay is Friday the 1st and Saturday the 2nd. Can you come walk the survivor lap with me??? It would sure be a special treat. Let me know how plans are coming.
I should take the time to talk to everyone by name, but Im feeling restless and think I will go for a walk before bed. It is staying light until about 10:15 or so right now, so I have lots of time before dark.
I will tuck you all in my vest pocket and bring you along. We will walk out through the little field behind my chicken coop we will have to stop and sprinkle some corn for the hens on the way.
There is still a little snow in the low field and we might see tracks from the lynx that has been around. If you listen you will probably hear the coyotes yipping, and if we are lucky howling, out in the spruce woods behind my Mom and Dads house.
The Momma moose are getting really round, fat and grumpy so we will give them a wide berth. The first reddish-blonde babies will be born in the next few weeks.
We will smell wood smoke in the damp air from the neighbor a couple miles away down by the lake. They are burning brush and getting ready to build their new log home. The mallard ducks are back on the spring run-off pond by the road and if the dog doesnt chase them, we might get a look at them swimming and preening. By the time we get back we will all have red cheeks from the breeze and we will be ready for a hot toddy and a good nights sleep.
Lets get going .
Hugs,
Deb C0 -
Hi girls...
I would like to be able to report about my mom. I really would. BUT GETTING INFO IS LIKE PULLING TEETH!
However, I do know that she had the catheter thing done and she has blockages, not just in her heart but in the leg artery that they scope the thing up. In fact, they had to use the other side because they couldn't bybass the blockage. ONE WOULD THINK THEY WOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT THEN AND THERE-NO? No.
Her heart has some blockages but I can't keep them straight, I really need to speak to the doctor instead of the way i am getting her report.
There also is something renal wrong. Don't ask- that is all I know about THAT one.
So yes, she had a heart thing. Not a heart attack. A thing. And now she has to go through a bunch of tests to figure out what the other THINGS are. She was sent home today with nitroglycerine, diuretics, BP meds, Cholesterol meds and hopefully a script for some Draino.
Sorry- but I am only telling you what I have been "told" so Nurses: I report- you decide then tell me what in hell is wrong with her!
My port is big and red and hurts like hell and my chest is a bit swollen.
But other than that Mr. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?
Madison, So sorry to hear about your new "finding" but please remember- even survivors can get lumpy and it is nothing! I will keep you close in my prayers.
Vickie, your sister needs to get a life- her own. Sorry but that really bothered me tonight!
Cheri, what is going ON with you??? I can tell you that my migraines do cause numbness and unsteady gate. Did your doctor mention Bell's Palsy? Please don't hesitate and get yourself checked out!
((Kristin)) you are feeling that way because for the last year the happy couple has been planning a wedding and for the last year YOU have been in hell. But the feeling won't last. You will be back to normal again. Chemo DOES end- even Herceptin! You will be planning and enjoying HAPPY things again! You aren't "mean spirited" you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. It will get better- I promise!
TRACEY MY FRIEND!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
Nicki, I remember that cold you had... you had if forever! Of course it could break your ribs. I am so happy that is all it was. Thank the lord.
Liz, are you ok?
Colleen I went to a Little League game today- I figured I can rest in the bleachers just as well as I can rest at home.
Denise, the BRCA test is not as bad as you think. I would be happy to help you with any questions you have.
Jankay, I think we are lucky to have you here!
Robin, stick to your guns... then shoot them!
Sheri, do you have any pictures of your play to post?
Shirley, sorry it is so gray. We had our first sunshine today.
Deb you are the most organized energizer bunny i have ever met! I wish I lived closer to you!
Theresa- what a day! Finally!!!
CY, I am so very sorry. My heart breaks for you. That is how fast my friend went this fall. Prayers and love to you and Emily.
Susan, how is your Terrorism coming? are you kicking anyone's butt yet?? I bet you aaaare!
I am missing my circle girls!0 -
PS Deb I love your pictures of last year's relay on your blog!
I am crying here!
I wanted to post to you but it wouldn't let me!
Just wanted to tell you that I think you are awesome.0 -
Hey G-
I posted on your Dx with 2nd cancer thread with a link to this month's Cure Magazine. They have an article about chemo and heart problems...didn't know if you had seen it or not.
I don't know why my blog won't let people post repies some times. I would like to move to a new blog host, but I am sure trying to move all my archived stuff would be a huge pain in the butt....
I'm glad you liked the Relay photos. I was a mess last year...sick as hell, hurting from Taxol, but it was a powerful 24 hours.
I don't know if I have ever had more emotional swings in one 24 hour period in my life...fear that I would just break down and never quit crying, sadness, longing for what I had lost, Laughter, Giddyness, Awe at the survivors I met, Joy and the awarness of the Grace I had in my life....I can not begin to describe it....
This year I am well. I just feel this overwheming graditude for the blessings in my life. I am really looking forward to it...
I wish you had more info on mom...that would make me nuts.
Hugs and prayers to you
Deb C.0 -
well it is about 5 am and i feel the need to vent.
so i am going to the other thread.
Later gaters.
jankay0 -
oh, i could vent my my brains out right about now, but i'm going to spare you guys the latest "earl" drama (because it is just getting extremely old and tired), cut the tears and try to grab a couple of hours sleep!
mac and i are invited to a barbeque and bonfire tonight with some very dear friends .......... might be just the distraction i need to move away from this frigging mess i've created of what's left of my life.
if it could go wrong, it will with me ....... but then again, according to "earl" ........ i've done it all to myself .......... he's right, this whole mess with him, work, cancer, my family etc is my fault ........ i'm just not a normal person. i wanted to be 'normal' but i'm just not.
i geuss i need to try and accept me for me, and work with the few attributes i have .......... lord knows i'll never please most of the people in my life, funny though ....... i seem to be the only one crying over letting them down!
i think this says an awful lot about how pathetic i really am.
sorry for the vent ........ i just got taken for yet another ride by someone i adored, god i'm just so f'ing stupid!
do you guys think i'll ever learn? or is it just too late for me to get some self esteem?
thanks for 'listening' ....... shel0 -
well for one thing earl is wrong. u did not have control over what happened in your life especially the cancer and one other thing the involvemenet of earl whomever he is.
i also have the feeling of not doing anything r ight.
but hang in there u are normal
jankay0 -
It's gonna be another great day here in the Chicago end of the circle. Gonna reach 80 degrees! But alas, a cold front is on its way, so I cant plant my flowers till next week. I never did finish pulling all the weeds and getting fresh dirt down. I need to do it in sections. I must be getting old, it was just too darn hard to keep stooping down and getting up was a joke.
Here are someone thoughts about BRCA testing. My one sister passed away at the age of 46 from ovarian cancer. She would be 61 years old now. I cant believe it was 15 yers ago! Seems like yesterday. Anyways, they didnt have BRCA testing then. If they did, I would have tested positive back then. My whole life would be different today as a result of that knowledge. I believe that knowledge is power! So good luck to all of you who are contemplating getting the testing done.
MargaretB: First of all I want to say Im sorry to hear about your mom. I dont know how I missed that, but having to go to dialysis is so hard. I am hoping that in the near future, people will be able to get dialysis in their own homes - seems much easier to me. The exercise? Well its not going. I just stopped. Need to get back on track with it though. Think now with the warmer weather I will start walking and try to reach that magic 10,000 steps number! The BRCA is a simple blood test. Simple if you have veins! I had nodes taken out on both sides too. My right side was the lymph dissection so no one touches that arm. I know Im crazy, but I let them draw blood from my left arm. Only had the sentinel node removed there. I cant imagine having blood draws from my feet. Anyways, with your family history you sure do fit the profile. At least insurance would cover it.
A note for everyone. Just remember that 75% of those diagnosed with bc have no family history. 25% is from heredity.
I think I mentioned it before. My parents were born in the same little town in Italy and I think I inheritied some really goofy genes!
Tgirl: Its Spring! And Im loving every minute of it. Gosh I can remember coming to this site when Summer was over and Fall started. All those falling leaves and stuff. Now the birds are singing again and the flowers are blooming.
Vickie: Even if your sister feels the way she does, she could have worded it a little differently. I think that everyone around me took a step back when I was first diagnosed. I was the strong one. The go getter. Never sick. So it scared alot of people into rethinking about their priorities. At our expense? Oh yes, but what they dont realize is they can go out and enjoy life. We are always carrying this heavy load - even when we are feeling good.
Sherloc: Hope you have a great time with your family. I'll be going out today and finishing what I didnt finish yesterday in the yard.
CY: Im so sorry to hear about your friend Emily. I just hate this disease! Hoping for peace and comfort to Emily, her family and friends.
Susan: Here is a little ray of sunshine, just for you.
Robin: Our careers are similiar. I started out as a nurses aide at 17, then got my LPN, then my RN. Seems like I have spent my entire life in health care. Lots of good memories though.
NS: Wow! You said a mouthful about your mom. Sounds like she has Coronary artery disease and peripheral vascular disease. All cause by blockages. The good thing is there was no damage to her heart. You need to ask what percent of blockage is there. Anything under 80% usually doesnt require surgery. The femoral artery bypass surgery isnt an easy one to do. Sounds like they are trying to treat this medically instead of surgery. Good luck to her. Im glad you remember that cold I had. I was very sick, and I couldnt stop coughing. For weeks! And that is when I think I broke these ribs! I sure am hoping your port issues resolve, cause now the next step is starting your chemo. Sending you a big hug. So much is going on with you, makes my problems seems so very small in comparison.
Shel: So does Earl think he is without mistakes? That he is Mr. Perfect? Having to go through this bc journey is not easy. Sometimes we feel like we are just empty shells, but you are a vibrant, fun loving person. Try to look at the good things you have done, not the bad things that Earl so easily points out.
Well! Its springtime. Need to go for a brisk walk and then have some breakfast. Hope you all have a wonderful day.
Nicki0 -
thanks jankay!
i just feel like a gigantic (4'9") loser right now!
i can't keep my emotions in check, can't put the long, long, very long past in it's place, can't get a grip on mets, and ultimately ......... can't fathom continually trying to be the mature, responsible, diminutive one anymore!
i try so hard to be everything to everyone ........ just seems like it is never reciprocated (and long before breast cancer) ......... it's just such a drag to be me anymore. most of the time i'm just insulted for what i'm not or what i can't provide .......... the praise only seems to come when somebody needs something, but i fall for it every time.......i'm just a pathetic shell of a human being, and it's getting worse lately!0 -
Good morning sisters,
Shel...pathetic is the LAST thing you are!!! A caring compassionate, beautiful women is what you are. Earl is the pathetic one as he knows full well that he can and will play games with you and win. Time to take care of you and DD and quit worrying about everyone else. WE all love you just because your here.
Good moning Nicki...supposed to be 77 degrees here today...oh what wonderful weather. Outside again for me!!
Jankay...you can rant here all you want. We listen and we understand.
Cheri...where are you? Hope you are feeling better and hope you went to the ER and had things checked out for your own peace of mind.
Margaret...I'll send yarn and directions. I have three boxes of yarn I need to send out Monday along with an afghan.
Deb...loved you "walk"...it was grand.
Gina...all I can say is I love ya and sending you a big hug.
Thanks to all who reaffirmed how I felt about my sisters comment. I just thought that I was taking it wrong but it has really bugged me. I am overly sensitive to comments so I sometime naturally assume that its "just me". It just made me sad...it was almost like she was saying she was happy I got cancer because it made her look at her life in a different way. I know she wasn't happy about it...it just stung!
Gotta get showered and dressed, fix breakfast and wait for it to warm up so we can get outside!
I love ya all!
Vickie0 -
Vickie:
Nicki0 -
Morning..I was up but of course the dog comes first.
NS...It seems all I hear anymore is heart issues with my close friends. Good luck to mom.
Cy...So sorry about your friend. It stinks when you can't do anything and just have to sit by. xoxo
Niki...My dh started the gardens this year...he wants something to do. ( I'm shocked) Usually he's running to the shore fishing by now.
Ded...I'm doing 2 Relays this year. Two friends have me on their survivor list so I must go.
Today we're taking the dog down to the pheasant farms to run and chase birds with the beautiful day. We've been rained out twice. We're also supposed to pick asparagus but not sure if it's up yet.
So off to mass and then chase dogs. xoxo0 -
Happy Sunday girls! Hope it's bright and sunny wherever you are today. xoxo Colleen
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good morning dear ladies. It's raining it's pouring the old man is snoring....literally. Hmmmm hope this nasty weather doesn't affect my dinner plans. I have a butt load of food that needs to be cooked.
Vicki, you are very welcome for the aspirin idea.
Margaret, woo hoo another knifty knitter convert. I love mine.
Thats a lot of moola. You should be proud of your efforts.
Theresa, the foot of your bed? hahahahhahahhahaha
CY, praying for Emily.
Hi Susan, hope your having a good weekend.
Denise, have a grand time with your grand daughter. I think kids always behave better for their grammies.
Robin, I've always wanted an embroidery machine. Good luck conquering it.
Deb, thanks for the lovely walk. Mamma Moose needs to take a chill pill.
Gina, I am sorry your mom is not well. Adding her to my prayer list.
Whats up with Cheri?????
Jankay, vent away. hugs to you.
And hugs for you too Shel.
Nicki, love the sparkly bears. Same advise for you. Take some aspirin before bed. Have a grand time in your garden.
Happy day to you Vicki.
Well crap, son #1 just informed me that he has to work today. Thats 1 down for dinner. Off to start messing up the kitchen. See you all later.0 -
Hi Colleen
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Believe it or not the embroidery/sewing machine was the last thing the EVIL got me for my birthday will be 3 years in august.I had wanted one for so long and then there it was and the next 2 weeks he checked out of this marriage emotionally,mentally.I had to look at him today but we didnt speak.He has noelle outside now riding the lawn mower with him.He does love her that is the only good thing I can say about him.
Shel:You are a wonderful person,and you are a nurse also,we are good folks.Pathetic is a word i cant even spell and dont you use it to describe yourself.I remember last year when I was so down and out and you helped me pick myself up just by being there for me.So do like I do if you must,have a pity party and get it over with.Take a xanax drank a beer take a shower and you will feel better.Or it helps me anyway.Dont know about the xanax/beer combo though for anyone else.Hang tough kid better days are ahead.
NS:I have had the ports from hell,this is the 3rd and final one.I am not having another one put in.This one is on the outside of the collar bone with the tubing running up into the jugular vein and back down into the heart where it is supposed to be.and now it is not healing like it should.But the sugerons recommendation friday to clean with h2o2 several x day i think is working it is forming its own scalb.
People have these things in for years and I dont know why I have had so much trouble with mine.and ended up with a broken shoulder to go with it.oh well..0 -
Robin, I am glad I have you to suffer with as far as ports go...you make me feel I can survive them!
OK SHEL-
YO SHEL?
You have helped me so much in so many ways. You have reached out to me and told me like it is and been a true friend, a BC sister, a mentor and a touchstone. So, may I ask WTF is your family talking about?????
YOU are fabulous.
YOU did not "bring on" anything.
That D-H did. (and I don't mean dear)
Step away from the bad vibes and go outside into the sun. Feel it on your skin. Let yourself enjoy the beauty around you and then take a minute to look at the beauty inside you- because, honey, you are gorgeous.
So- STOP IT. I refuse to let you talk badly about my pal Shel like that!!!! She is too fabulous!
As for Earl....
Do you think I forgot???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRf9AJSbHy4
Love you,
g0 -
Good morning ladies. It's another beautiful day out today except the wind is really blowing hard. Not that I have any plans for getting out in it anyway.
I'm aggravated about my new glasses. I paid almost 500 for them and can't see this screen without blur. Just had them 2 weeks. There was first a delay because they forgot to put the prism in the lenses, ok. Then when I got them, they had neglected to make the lenses that darkened outside. So I had to wait. Picked them up on friday and they are not right. Looking at the computer the lines blur together. I have to get out in the morning to go to my dr. to give bloodwork so I'll stop by and gripe to them. You'd think spending that much money they would be right.
Margaret, so glad you're getting your knitter. And Vickie's even sending you yarn and directions, you can't beat that.
Gina, I do hope your Mother gets along alright. So sorry you're having such an ugly time with your port. Thanks for asking about me. I'm gonna be fine, though.
Lisa, nice Circle pic.
CY, so sorry about your friend.
Jankay, I sent you a pm. I'm sorry I wasn't up this morning to chat. I'm here now though and will be in and out all day.
Shel, normal is boring. (Or so I've heard)
Vickieroo, so glad you're enjoying all this nice weather and the outdoors. I don't think you're sister meant to hurt you and I bet she doesn't realize how what she said sounded to you. People say things without realizing how it might sound to someone else. You said she's been a good sister to you. Don't take it to heart.
Shirley, the dr wants me to have a brain CT tues. Having a few strange things going on. You know, I've been told many times by people that I needed my head examined! lol I don't have time for it to be anything serious.
Hey to Susan, Iris, Deb, Nicki, Sheri, Theresa, Colleen and the rest of you. Hoping you all have a great day.
I hadn't said anything about it but I think it's pretty safe to mention it now. This is my 11th day without a cigarette. I quit smoking on the 11th. So, if I've seemed a bit short it's because I've been battling this strong nicotine addiction. I almost bought a pack after I left the Dr.s office friday cos he blind-sided me,, but I didn't. I have went from chain smoking 3-4 packs a day to nothing at all. It's hard but I'm going to make it this time. I don't want to make a big deal out of it is why I hadn't mentioned it because it puts added pressure on me. I just wanted you all to know. It makes me a little cranky at times. lol To say the least.
I have a few hours to myself today. No kids. No adults. It's quiet. My dd and her family sure pay alot of money for a storage unit, which is basically what their house is since they never go there except to pick up something they need and bring it back here. But I like seeing my grandsons on a regular basis and Amber, too.
Hope everyone enjoys their day.
pals
cheri0 -
Cheri----
Sending you a nice quiet hug and a tiny congrats for your big acomplishment...I don't want to stress you out but youare doing great
Enjoy your alone time
Hugs
Deb C0 -
Deb, you could never stress me out. Thank you very much.
pals
cheri0 -
ugh!!!!!
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