TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS

[Deleted User]

Good Morning Everyone: I am so glad it is Friday. This week seemed to fly by, yet seemed slow. Now thats crazy.

Denise: That swelling sure sounds like it is a dental issue. You can have an abcess believe it or not without pain. Hoping your DH is ok.

Tgirl: Of course you were missed! This thread is a hoppin andI have found it difficult to keep up myself. Im glad the weekend is finially here cause thats when I will catch up. I cant complain about being busy though, its been fun.

Vickie: I wouldnt be comfortable with anyone reading my posts. I come here and talk from my heart. Say things I wouldnt say to anyone else. I figure Im pretty safe using chemosabi as my name. So I hope that isnt happening to you. I know big corportate can now see how much company time you are spending on the internet while you are at work. Thats the second reason I dont come on the computer during the day. The first and more important reason is I dont have time cause I driving out and about from hospital to hospital.

OK! This is something that has been on my mind - so Im just gonna talk about it for a moment. I really get unsettled when someone posts how unhappy and desperate they are and then they just disappear. Its wrong to get us so worried. Because we start thinking the worst possibly scenarios including calling hospitals! It wouldnt take much to send a pm to one person and that person could let us know everything is ok. But to just disappear, its not right. At least in my book.

Sheri: Its weird that they celebrate nurses week and teachers week at the same time. Im glad you have had alot of fun with it. When I got to work yesterday I had a pretty floral arrangement on my desk. And Red Gerber Daisies were part of it. So I will be planting them outside this week-end. I didnt have time to attend any of the activities. Was too busy being out and about.

Cheri: Glad you got the appointments clarified.

Z: In my younger days I used to work 12 hur shifts. Seemed easy then, but now - man, I just couldnt do it.

Liz: Does the lump hurt? My first thought is a boil or infection. I hope you get to your surgeons office soon. A little warm moist compresses and a little bactoban couldnt hurt, and might make it feel better. Good luck to you.

Cheryl Holt: Hello to my windy city partner. Just wishing you good luck with the mammogram today.

Karen: Im the 1 out of 4 who didnt have er/pr positve bc. So I dont have personal experience with the aches and pains associated with tamox and other aromatase inhibitors. My older sister is on Aromasin. She talks about the same side effects all of you talk about. Achy muscles, fluid retention, fatigue and for her, elevated blood pressure. She was offered something different but when she read the side effects she decided to stick with what she is on. Since the side effects seem to be similiar. Sending you lots of hugs this morning. Oh and about not having stamina? Well I dont have it any longer myself when its hot and humid. It takes a physica toll on me.

Brenda: First of all you afternoon party was very tranquil. I could picture myself there having a nice glass of wine and just relaxing. You might stay away sometimes, but you have never told us how awful things are and then just disappeared. There is something inheritly wrong with that!

Regarding Neulasta shots! Am I crazy, or does it seem like most of us had really big issues with it? Everytime I see that commercial I want to throw rocks at it. I was so unprepared after my first shot. The commercial says mild bone pain. The onc nurses told me mild bone pain, and what the heck. It was severe!! Lasted 24 hours. I couldnt walk or even sit on the toilet without have severe pain. I know that its important because it makes our bone marrow produce more white blood cells as they get depleted with chemo, but hey - at least be honest with us and tell us about the pain so we could be prepared. All of us react differently. My shot kicked in 5 days after the injection. Once I figured that out, I started taking Darvocet on the 4th day. That helped. So as time went on the side effects were less and less traumatic. And when I told my onc and the onc nurses they all looked surprised. Like Oh Really? Thats unusual! But it sure doesnt seem unusual based on our experiences here.

Colleen: Im hoping today is better for you.

Well - time to go. Need to be at work a little earlier today. Hope you all have a wonderful Friday. I will catch up with ya all this week-end.

Nicki

BRSTN

Good morning everyone,

Cheri is driving the MC today? Oh boy, we're in for more loop-d-loops. Amy, Cheryl, jankey and CY, we'll be there.

It's Friday and Nicki beat me up. Sigh.

Oh, oh....I forgot to tell everyone yesterday. Remember that cabinet in my bathroom that wasn't. The handyman didn't do the job and we we're living with a hole in the wall. Well, yesterday, the new guy delivered it and put it in. It looks so good. I'll post a picture when I get it painted. I asked him just to prime it. I can't decide on white enamal or dark blu. The walls are a light blue textured. The light switch thingy is navy blue.(you know the thing that goes in front of the switch. I'm having a senior chemo-brained moment)

SO I'm excited to have a cabinet after 6 months.

And the new end tables we ordered came in yesterday. I have my work cut out for this weekend. painting the cabinet and staining the end tables. We have this great place called Wood You. They have wonderful unfinished furniture and it's all wood. These are pine, but they carry oak and others.

Cy, they better treat you with plenty of tlc.

Hugs to all,

Betty

newvickie

Good morning ladies!
Hey Nicki...sunshine sister, you beat me this morning. Not as tired as yesterday so hopefully I'll get throught he day without dozing at my desk. I do check in at work and post but only on breaks and when I'm waiting for my computer program to "catch up"...which is really annoying. I spend more time watching the hour glass on my computer than anything LOL. I love my coworkers but this is like a "diary" or something for me. I can rant, rave, whine, do the happy dance etc and you all understand. Awww well...doesn't matter anyway.
Denise...did you get the swelling checked out? I would have no idea what it would be.
Firing up the magic carpet. Cheri is driving again so grab the bubble wrap and make room for Mazer to sit behind her. CY...we will all be there with you today, take your afghan and just feel us all around you holding your hand...saying special prayers for you. Lots of places to go today...Cheri...hope you have a map. Amy is having treatment, Cherryl is having a slam o gram (ok now I get it...LOL), Jankay has physical therapy so we are gonna be a busy group making sure all is well.
Brenda...I hope you catch your thief. That is just ridiculous. I owned a diner for five years and had one girl who's husband would pick her up at night when she closed by herself and back up to the back door and load up with food. Never caught her but fired her anyway as everyone around the diner saw them doing it. I cannot understand that kind of behavior. Stealing a little and losing your job that pays you more than you steal is so incredibly stupid. I personally couldn't sleep at night if I were stealing from my employer. gggggrrrrr.
Karen...sending you a hug. I hope you have a good time with Miriam at the festival and aren't too tired or hurting too much to enjoy it. Wish I were a nurse so I could give you some advice but all I have are hugs and prayers.
Hmmm...I do believe we have another mission today and that's ROBIN!!! Getting really concerned here too and there has to be a way to find her. I have her name and address so I'll see what I can find.
Shel...I'll look for recipes for ya later (probably at lunchtime).
Gina...hope you have a better day today and sending you hugs.
gotta run...getting late!
Love and hugs all the way around.
Vickie

lisaelder1972

Good morning all,
Vickie, if my boss or co-workers were reading my posts, I would see it as an invasion of my privacy. I don’t even like my family to read mine because I can voice my true feelings, my fears, and my dreams with all my sisters who have walked in my shoes.


Denise, I totally understand about the treadmill, mine is now somewhere to hang clothes. Oh well, I had good intentions.

Jan, hope you got the meltdown under control.

Cheri, what in the world possessed you? You know neither one of us sleep at night. Don’t blame you one bit about Amber and Ethan, he better be careful, nothing like a Momma Bear when you mess with her cubs.

Tricia, sorry can’t help ya, I need a mental health counselor to work on me.Enjoy your visit with your best friend.

Cy, we will all be there with you today. While the others comfort you, I am guarding the specimen this time. I am wearing a badge and sunglasses and a nightstick. Oh and handcuffs in case things get crazy. I will have to be home before school is over, my son hates when I play with his stuff. I am trying to find where he has hid the key to them handcuffs. Would be just like Cheri to handcuff her hands together and then I would have to drive. I have no endorsement on my license for carpets.

Betty, glad you got your new furniture. Have fun painting and staining.

Nicki, have a great Friday.

Brenda and Karen, I really understand where you are both coming from. That blasted Femara
makes me hurt all over. And the Oncs can say what they want but all of us having the same symptoms and hurting in the same places is not just coincidence.

Shel, glad your day went better.

Pam , lol you planted your cell phone? When I was still working I put my bosses’ cell phone in the washing machine and washed it....I know ,I know, I don’t have that job anymore.

Everybody else, love you all. Will be back later. Have a great Friday.


Hugs,
Lisa

jankay

vicki-i would not like for my co=workers to read my posts,
but if i am not wrong--if you r using yoour bosss computer-he has the legal right to read whatever u put on it-your co-workers don't.
iam anxious for the magic carpet- never been on one before

tflowers

Morning...I'm the nurse today staying home from work taking care of my mother who twisted her knee yesterday. We're trying to get into a ortho dr today to look at it. Being a 4 time knee operation patient, I still have the braces, icepacks and crutches for her. She's 80 and in incredible health, but has these little things from time to time.
Anyword on Robin yet??
I hear her calling for her coffee.....be nice tgirl be nice.xoxo

marshakb

Denise, did your DH swelling start right after he ate something? I have a saliva gland that gets blocked periodically and that is exactly where it swells. When it is blocked, it only happens with meals. Goes away usually on its own, sometimes need to gargle with a strong mouthwash (or biotene) Maybe that is all it is. ALWAYS goes down about 30 minutes after eating. Google it, it is fairly common............Marsha

neesie

Good Morning!

Yes, DH made it through the night! Being the wonderful wife that I am...........I peeked at it with one eye this morning and remember touching it...being half asleep...think he said some of the swelling was gone and it was a bit tender. Then I rolled over and he went to work!
I was thinking Dental also. BUT Marsha, the blocked saliva gland is interesting...and yes, it was shortly after he ate!
I'm going to google it and send it to him at work.

Hope everyone is ready for our busy day. Lot's of girls on the Magic Carpet today. Buckle up and Bubble up...Cheri is back at the wheel!

Hugs,
Denise

bearlysane111

Here I am,Vickie! Hey to you,Nicki,and there are so many that I had a long post and Cheri/Margaret,you told me how to save it and did I? No!

Anyway,I am fine--just had so many forms to submit,la la la la la...don't we all? Life is beginn to be fun,again! I am so glad as it has been a challenging time for lots of us.

Madison,you asked abt BlackBerry and the sites. I can access them and could log on,finally. Hard to read but better than no contact w/all of you and the world! Thanks for asking.

Lisa...I have read many of your posts. Welcome to you! There are terrific people here. Tell Ali to pls come. I would love to welcome her here.

Late as I am the Queen of Wordy...my emotional outlet and I thank you for helping me through the last month.

Have a great wkend!
Iris

MargaretB

Morning girls. Lots to catch up on.

Jankay, what a hard decision to have to make.

Colleen, I'm hoping yesterday was better than the day before and today is the best one you've had in quite awhile.

Ali, don't know if you're lurking but hope you do join in here.

Shirley, how did you enjoy my neck of the woods? Too bad we couldn't meet up. You are doing great on your not smoking.

Liz, I remember being on the Relay for Life Committee - that is a lot of work. Hoping the lump is nothing. Loved your cake.

Brenda, loved that yard. Where was that taken?

Shel, I have some great WW recipes - I'll try to scan them and email them to you. If your email address isn't on your profile, PM me with it and I'll send them. Check out halfmysize.com - has a lot of WW recipes. I think there's a food thread that we've posted some WW recipes on.

Tricia,have fun with your girlfriend.

Lisa, I see that Liz PMd you with Robin's last name. Please let us know if you find out something.

Brenda, hope you figure out where that money is going.

Vickie, I agree, I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone I work with reading my posts. That's why I never post of the Mojo thread, just in case.

Nicki, does tamox cause high blood pressure? Since I had a bilateral, they take my BP on my calf so it's always higher but when I went to the onc for my checkup a few weeks ago, the reading was 197/78 or so. The onc didn't react to that tho.

CY, am with you today and with all who are having procedures and appts.

Took me an hour to read the posts and now it's time to shower. Have a good day everyone.

Margaret

shokk

Good morning sweet sisters well it is a clear morning the first time in 3 days.......they are saying we may get afternoon rains......we'll see...........well the preformance last night was remarkable.......one of the songs they did was from the "Phantom of the Opera".....all of the lights in the auditorium were turned off and all you could see were these glowing mask the kids had put on and then they had those green glow sticks on their music so they could see and Ms. V had one on her music and then her conductor wand glowed in the dark.....it was really just amazing.........she is such a remarkable woman and this morning I am so so angry at cancer.........hold on.......

lisaelder1972

Ok Girls I have some great news:
ROBIN IS JUST FEELING SICK FROM CHEMO
I talked to her daughter and she added me to her MySpace so we won't "lose" Robin again.I swear when she gets back here I'm gonna handcuff her butt to Vickie's wagon.

hugs,
MotorMouth
(my"pet"name from Mom)

shokk

Geez I am so upset I am trying to figure out what I want to say without offending anyone.........I don't want God to strike me dead but I just want to know why some people have to have cancer....I know that all human life has great value....there are times when there exist a human being that I wonder why are they here? People like Gacey and Jeffery Damur (sp)....people that I would consider evil........then they are people like here on these boards....wonderful women....productive members of life that are moms,wifes,sisters,grandmothers and other women that are doing things such as being wifes, moms, sisters, friends and then cancer happens......hold on.....

shokk

I had no idea that some middle school band director would have such an impact not only on my daughters life but mine as well.......last night my daughter received the "Silent Leader Award" which Ms. Z gives out every year to a student that goes out of there way to be helpful to others but does it in such a way that they don't draw any attention to themselves......my daughter was just beaming.......everyday the kids that are in honor band come to school an hour early to practice and then they have their class during 4th period which includes lunch and their study hall its a 2 hr class....they eat in the band hall and then practice even during their study period and then they all stay an hour after school....so just at school they practice for 4 hrs....even the football team does not practice as much......

cmb35

Quick hello this morning, as my deadline for my project is today!

Karen - I know just what you mean, I guess I've finally accepted that I can't do what I used to do anymore (work, house, kids, etc.) and I need to do less. It's really hard though. Sorry you're going throug a tough time.

Brenda - Oh my goodness, yes, that must be both physically and emotionally exhausting. I do the same thing, I actually try to only come to the circle when I'm feeling good. Sounds weird I guess, but to me this is a happy place, and although I know I can say anything, I guess that for me, I'm more comfortable "compartmentalizing" when I'm not feeling strong. Probably not the healthiest thing in the world, but it's working for me so far I guess!

Nicki - The one and only time I ever made an "emergency" call to my onc was after my neulasta shot. I had no idea what was happening, but I had such severe pain shooting out of my hips and down my legs that I could not walk or even sit up. Was literally trying to figure out who could come over and stay with Warren at 1am, and who could take me to the ER. When she called me back and told me it was pain from the neulasta, I couldn't believe it! I tend to be the "less than 5% of people experience these symptoms" with any medication, but this was really scary and painful. So yeah, I pretty much need to change the channel when I see the smiling, happy, neulasta people!!

Betty - Wood You - that's funny! Have fun with your new cabinets and end tables!

Vickie - yes, that's weird and would make me uncomfortable to think anyone I knew was reading here. I would find out what the policy is on using the internet at work. My sister works for the Dept of Public Health. In the last 6 months or so they received notification that anyone who signs onto the internet for any reason that isn't work related could be fired! She can't even check the weather or look up a phone number! I don't know if they had a problem with someone or what, but she said they are really serious about it. She is also not allowed to check her personal e-mail (which she has to go onto the internet to do.)

Denise - I'm like you, I don't like when weird things like that happen! Hope he's OK.

Lisa - HA HA HA - cracking up at the visual of a cell phone going through the rinse cycle!

Margaret - yes, getting better each day, making myself a priority as best I can!!

shokk - that sounds so beautiful!!

Gotta run, hugs to everyone I missed (Susan, cheryl, liz, jankay, tricia, shirley, sheri, iris, shel, tracey, running out of names...)

nosurrender

I don't know if you all saw this on Moving Beyond, but Kay/Fancy, lost her husband on Sunday evening. Please keep our dear Kay in your hearts and prayers.

CY- WHAT is happening with you next? And who do we have to beat up about your lost bx?

Ferne, FD411, sees her oncologist today about her new mets dx so please help me pray for her.

I am not caught up at all.

I got the stinkin nuelasta yesterday and I HATE IT!

My hair is coming out a lot and I am getting buzzed tonight and then I get Natasha to wear home. Oxford wouldn't pay for her so i had to dig deep to get the money.

Love you girls,
g

cmb35

shokk - congrats to your daughter - what a wonderful award to win!!

shokk

Anyway Ms.Z was dx with breast cancer 11 yrs ago and for the last 10 yrs has been ned......on her 10 yr anivers. they found the cancer has returned I believe to her bones.........this is a woman that is living on a teacher salary here in Texas which is not alot.....who also holds "Satuarday practice at least 2 wkends a month.......she pours her complete soul into these kids teaching them "practice makes better" she doesn't say perfect because music is never perfect......they were familes at the concert last night that had had her 8 yrs ago and graduating college and had come back to honor her......she so influences so many young people to go beyond what even they think they can do.....and not just me but all the parents are amazed at what she can pull out of our kids........the dedication and desire to be the best that they can be......why does God allow her now to have stage IV breast cancer???????Why does God allow any of us to be plagued with this stupid diease....I just am not getting it.............there are days that I ignore cancer, days I deny cancer, days I pretend that the scars that I have are just a bad dream.....I am so so sick of it.........

marshakb

(((((((((((((((SHOKK))))))))))))))))))))Hugs to you honey, Marsha

newvickie

((((Shokk))))no it isn't fair at all.
Yup...checking in at work. We have an open policy as far as internet usage and email goes. No one abuses or mistreats the privilege and the only rule is to keep your anitvirus updated and no downloads without my permission (as I am the computer administrator). I don't come here much through the day but I do check in on breaks and lunch. I don't get to leave my desk for lunch so feel if I have to subract that half hour every day from my time sheet then a quick post IS my lunchbreak.
hugs all
Vickie

RobinTN

HI Girls
I thought I best check in before the wagon train came round.Thank you all for caring about me.I started getting sick on tuesday and tuesday night I had a temp of over 102 and a bursting headache.So wed I took a phenergan and didnt get out of bed until 1pm then went back to bed at 6.Saw my onc on tue my blood was ok.SO yesterday I just laid around all day.
The attorney I talked to said I didnt have a case to sue,cause I didnt have any excessive pain and suffering or any extroidanry medical bills or any sugeries.So there went that idea.But i do have an appointment next week to talk to a lady his partner about a divorce.they are gonna make EVIL pay for the divorce and alimony.so I dont know how i will make it but somehow I will.
I went downstairs last n ight to do a load of laundry and there sits a brand new computer he has bought.Man it must be nice to have money,he wont even bring a gallon of milk home.Hows that for sorry.
anyway I will read and see whats going on with everyone later.I just got off the phone with Lisa and she told me she was coming to the house today if she didnt hear from me.So guess I am gonna be handcuffed for awhile.

Jankay:Honey please dont have that scooter on I40 you know how the construction work is in knoxville and you will get to hot!

Vickie:thanks for caring.

Susan:I will try and call you later or you can call me,I was in bed the other evening when you called.My head hurt so bad I just knew I had mets to the brain.

Shokk:I dont know why we have to suffer with this disease either.But you can bet that is the first thing I am going to ask God about someday.

I will be back later and catch up noelle is screaming.

shokk

So sorry guys....finally have stopped crying......not sure exactly what happened but just seemed to have this sense of hoplessness.......I really don't know what I was thinking because all I have to do is come to this board and witness miracles everyday.....maybe that is what God is trying to tell me that there are plenty of people living with stage 1v cancer and leading realitive normal lives........there will be many that the medicine will work and become ned......just have to keep the faith.......so sorry about the post I really need to think about what is said out here in cyberspace......I really do forget that just anyone can come in here and log on read our post.......so very sorry......there really is something else that for some reason is bothering me and I don't know if I should post it.......I don't really want to do any pm's because that is kinda of what it is about so I am going to ponder it awhile more and maybe say something later tonight......I love all of ya'll.....I really don't know what I would do if I didn't have this wonderful place to come.....you all make me feel safe......thank you.............

newvickie

Robin...you got it sweety...you are officially handcuffed to my wagon. Thanks for checking in and big hugs to you.

Shokk...You are safe here...always. Don't apologize (not sure what you are apologizing for actually)...some days you need to cry and rant and rave and get it out of your system. I do it. I come here whine on occasion cuz you all "get it" and there's no one else for me to talk to. Without all of you carrying me around there are days I'm not sure I could manage to get through. Post whatever is on your mind...we are all sisters and we care very very much.
Love
Vickie

PuppyFive

Hey CGS, so happy Robin checked in, I was very worried also!
{{NATHAN}} Is adorable, of course I am prejudice, because I am His "Aunt Puppy" and Love Him very much!!!
Denise, My DH had the same problem, after so many times they decided to exray it! YEP, marsha is right!!
He had a Larg Lump and they did a biopsy, NO CANCER!!
But a infection in his saliva gland and had to have the lump removed and put on meds. for infection, and a pill to remove the fluid that would not go away by itself! He is better now and never has any more problems with it! He was in so much pain with the infection, and his jaw would not close, so he could not eat anything! Hope this does not scare you, I posted it to make you feel better, and make him get to the doctor!
To All my CGS, xoxoxoxo Love Ya! and praying for everyone that is having a rough day, Puppy

Madison

Magic Carpet ride to Amy, Cherryl, jankay, and CY’s.

G, so sorry to hear about Francy’s husband. I know Fancy was hoping that treatment would work. We need to lift her and her family up in prayers. You know we are always thinking about you and keeping you close.
Keeping Ferne, FD411 in prayers also.
(((Shokk))) I have no answers for why bad things happen to good people – and good things happen to bad people. I remember reading a book called When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner. This book was written as a reaction to his personal tragedy because his son had premature aging, from which he died. Kushner was a rabbi and he had a faith crisis. I must admit (even though I am Christian) this book was very healing for me personally (as one of my children was going through a crisis). I don’t often recommend any reading material, but lately this book has been on my mind. I think I need to re-read it so I can not be angry because so many wonderful people are suffering. I often question why them, and not me.
Also Shokk, congratulations on your daughter’s award. Wonderful and very deserving.
Colleen, good luck with your project.
Thank you for the information on Robin. We were all worried and sending her great big cyber hugs.
Karen, the further I go in this journey, the more I ache. Pain, for a short time, is tolerable. However, chronic pain can lead to depression….been there-done that. I don’t think our doctors realize how it feels to be in constant pain. I have no answers for you, only hugs. Enjoy the Day of Caring!!
Vickie, Nate and the kittens are so cute. Meow-Meow. I bet they are precious when all together and playing.
Morning Puppy. It is always good to see your smiling face.
Betty, looking forward to pictures of your cabinets!
Margaret, I am still so impressed with how much money was made at the auction….wonderful
Susan, thank you for trying to reach Robin
Z, sure do hope you were able to get some rest last night. Check in when you can.
Sherndon , your DD sounds very sweet. I raised all 3 girls in a very conservative fashion and they have far exceeded my expectations as adults.
Shirley, congrats on not smoking!!! Take each day a moment at a time…..
Jankay, hugs to hope. I hope you are having a good day.
Nicki, I have often wondered if we can have a roll call list…..even if you don’t post for a few days….sign in and say HI, I’m here-…There are so many CG’s (which is absolutely WONDERFUL and we love each and every one) – maybe a list would help. The posse works pretty good, but those horses need to be fed and watered every so often.
Beth, if you can hear us….let us know how you are doing…..we are sending out cyber vibes so you can phone home.
Cheri my dear, you can talk and drive the magic carpet…how are you today?
CY, thinking about you today!! You know each and every one of us is with you.
Brenda, I just don’t understand theft……we work so hard for the things we have that it really upsets me that there is a mentality of taking something that is not yours…..grrrrrrrr I hope you catch the thief!!!!!
I can relate to how you are feeling blue and don’t post……no easy answers for that one!! I told DH that I felt like I had aged 10 years in the past 16 months…..
Denise, hope DH’s swelling is better. That is so scary. I hope he is able to find out today what caused the problem…..it is hard to get medical (or dental) attention on the weekends.
Cherryl Holt, I was thinking of you the other day when I was working on an afghan….I had a square you made and incorporated it into EE’s afghan. I think I managed to put a square from everyone in her afghan. Good luck with the mammo today.
Tracey, are you working this weekend? You deserve some weekend vacation time.
Tgirl, we sure did miss you…….
Liz, have you heard from your doctor yet? Keeping fingers crossed
Jan, your office has been keeping you very busy. Do you have a ride planned for this weekend?
Pam, hummm the cell phone has been planted……have any of your flowers stated ringing. Too funny.
Good Morning Lisa.
DebC, oh, it is too early for you to have checked in yet. Good Morning to you also.
MB has today off of work….she is working on our Pinkstock grounds…..
Amy is having treatment today…I sure hope she has a chance to post later today. How are you?
I know I probably have missed someone…I’m sorry-I don’t mean to miss anyone.
Hugs, to all
Madison

RobinTN

shokk:i am sorry you have down and out.Sometimes I cry for days,somedays I doubt my own sanity.Somedays I want to just die.I dont know why I keep going or how but I do.Someone told me i should write a book.but my answer to that is I dont have an ending yet,will I have an ending?I dont know I guess we all will have one sooner or later.I have tried to be a good person all my life devoted myself to helping others in need and this is the thanks I get?Somedays I think I should have lived as wild and wooly as they come then would I have gotten cancer..probably so just would have had a guilty conscious to go with it.I wish I knew why people have to suffer.I have seen so much suffering in my life I am just sick of it.I always prayed to God that when my time came to take me quick so I wouldnt have to suffer,but I guess that was not in His will either.
I said all that to say this,you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings.This is the only place I have been able to come to say what I feel and not be ridiculed or chastised for it.
My days are getting so dark and cloudy i dont know how much more fight I have inside of me.

Puppy:thanks for thinking of me.

AlaskaDeb

Good morning circle girls-

No time for a long post. I let my perfectly wonderful girls take a hooky day from school today. They got straight A’s all year and are just great kids. They think it is a huge treat to have a day at home with nowhere to go. We are baking for our Relay bake sale that happens this weekend, laying around in our PJ’s and reading and eating. ANYWAY…I want to spend this precious, oh-so NORMAL day playing with them. Every now and again I just stop and marvel at the wonder that is my life….

Shokk – I just want to send you a hug. I struggled with that very question…why can bad things happen to good people when evil is allowed to exist in the world? I finally had to just let the whole obsession go. Want to hear my answer? It’s not very wise or profound, but here it is:

Shit Happens.

God in his wisdom gave us free will. Once that is a given, I don’t think he micro-manages the pitfalls of our lives. I think he oversees all of humanity with his love, and I think that evil pains him too. I guess the main comfort in this theory for me, is that God and I are working through the hard parts together. Also, I think it means that God does not send evil out into the world. I don’t think God gave me cancer. I DO think, that once I got cancer God expects me to find a way to work through it and find a way to make something good come OUT of it. Does that make any sense at all? I usually don’t talk about my deepest beliefs. Not because I am ashamed of them, but because I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable if they don’t share the same belief. I guess in a nutshell I believe that God is the embodiment of love.

I hope that you find a way to reconcile these hard, hard questions. Don’t let the sadness and evil win. God loves you. I really, really believe it is true.

Sending you a gentle hug
Deb C

lv2cmp

Hello everyone,

Doing a quick check in before the magic carpet swoops down to pick me up and get me to Birmingham. I heard a commotion earlier and looked out thinking you all might be early. We have to drink lots on the way so my veins cooperate,,,uhh and thats not blue drinks Cheri. That comes after treatment, not before. You all were talking the other day about being stuck in the wrist. I think I always get a wrist stuck because I have no other veins. OUCH! Better than a stupid port though.

Shokk-sorry you have alot on your mind today. I hate when I get into that why game. Feel free to say anything you want though cause thats why we are here.

madision-I have read that book also and its a good one.

Lisa-thanks for the robin update.

Robin-ok you made us all worry. I can understand the chemo feelings totally but we sure were worried about you. I cant wait for you to get rid of EVIL. A new computer??? Didnt you just want to kick it?!?

Biker-got biking plans this weekend? Sure nice biking weather.

Vickie-those kitties are just too cute. Which one is yours?

tgirl-missed you and you made me jealous talking about kayaking. I used to do that years ago and loved it.

adrionna-I dont have a treadmill but I have a stepper and a weight bench that is great to hang clothes on to dry. Dont know how I made it without it.

Nicki-I bet your flowers are enjoying this nice weather. All my veggies are up and I love standing at the garden and looking at them.

Iris-glad to see you posting alot. Yep it was a sight for the neighbors to see us out walking our donkeys thats for sure. They havent gotten out anymore since we added another chain on the gate.

CY-thinking of you as you have another biopsy. It sounds like Lisa is making sure this one doesnt get lost.

Brenda-sure hope you catch the thief. I hate stealing and lying.

Shirley-hope your weekend will be smoke free.

Cheri-speaking of smoke free. You go girl! Dance all you want. Still excited about your lil ol cyst. Did you tell Ed or just your husband?

Mena-where are you missy?

Sherndon-I knew you had it in you all along. Gotta watch the quiet ones.

G-thank you for the update on Fancys husband and thinking of you also. *%&$* Neulasta!

Z-man you are busy here lately. You need some me time.

Jankay hope your physical terrorist isnt too bad today.

Susan-thanks for the well wishes.

Shel I have an excellent chimichanga WW recipe that we all like if you want it. Let me know if she likes mexican.
Makes good leftovers also.

Karen-I hear you talking girlfriend. I just want to feel like I used to feel but somehow I know thats all in the past and I wont feel that way again. I'm always tired!

I am sure I left many out but my brain is totally out of info. 1 more hour of work then off to treatment. fun fun.

Amy

PuppyFive

{{{Robin}}}
this is You!
"I wont back down"
Puppy

AlaskaDeb

Hey Amy-

I have to tell you that every time you call someone "missy" you make me smile. My best friend from Mchigan calls me that.
Hugs
Deb C