TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS

socallisa

Welcome Home...

[Deleted User]

Good Evening Everyone: Had another busy day. I could sure use a glass of wine tonight, but I gotta wait til the week-end.

I pretty much lost my temper at the pharmacy today. Not at them, just frustration with all the dang pills I have to take. Physician ordered Fosamax for me for osteopenia. I told the pharmacy to check with my insurance as I wanted the cheapest one I could get. Well they never called me and insurance wants the highest copay! I just lost it. Said take it back. I dont want it. And im not taking it. First of all some goofy person, called me and told me good news. Your osteopenia is better and continue taking Fosamax. I said better compared to what? Since I havent taken anything. Im tired of all these medications - so I'll be taking Oscal! End of story.

Cost me $37.00 bucks to fill up half a tank in my car and its not a gas guzzler. So this whole gas thing is making me crazy since my job is driving.

Marsha: Sounds like you had a fun evening and fun day. Your post made me smile.

Jasmine: Glad your classes are almost over. I hate inservices, classes, meetings, etc. Just let me do my thing.

Sherloc: Man, Im gonna miss my daily dose of you. Hope you have a great time on your cruise.

Z: Im so busy lately and it frustrates me cause I dont have much computer time anymore. And what Birthday Bash are you having?

Beth; My rt. breast had cancer. My lt breast was a prophylactic mast. When the final report came in the good breast showed Atypical Lobular Dysplasia. So it was a ticking time bomb. Sure made me feel better about my decision to do the prophylactic. Good luck with your appt.

Dinner time. gotta go. See ya in the morning

Nicki

suzfive

Lost another post - must remember to copy UGHHH.

Madison loved your Cliff Notes - maybe you can be the circle girls official Cliff Noteographer - lord knows we need one - it is hard to keep up here! Welcome back from San Antonio!

Liz and Jankay - prayers and positive thoughts for your MRIs.

Marsha - What is Florida's drink? Here in Wisconsin it is good ole beer! Can't wait for the update on the radio program.

Deb - you really started something with the Duck farts.
Jan - the elevated cholesterol is one of the SE of AIs. I have been pretty lucky with the other SEs - afraid this is the one that is going to get me.

Beth - you will feel so much better once the drains are out. Sending you good vibes on your path report - we need some good news around here.

Vickie - you are so right. Cancer has taken so much from us - it should not take away our joy. Congrats on being a nonsmoker!!

Joyce - I am kinda new here - don't believe we have met. Congrats on the tattoo and the weight loss.

Z- a birthday bash - how fun. Happy Birthday in advance.

Sheri - I think this is just a really bad allergy season. My sister has never had allergies and she called the other day saying her eyes were all swollen. Went to the doc and sure enough allergies. My eyes water and my nose drips but that is a "gift" from chemo as it doesn't change from season to season - can't leave the house without Kleenex.

Shokk - you have pretty good Cliff Notes too - maybe you can share the Cliff Noteographer gig with Madison.

Denise - I think I missed it someplace - but congrats on the upcoming grandbaby.

Does anyone have a list of the CG's? Hello to everyone I missed - this estrogen deprived brain needs a list!

Suz

suzfive

Nicki -loved the we is friends kitty pic - so funny. Don't you just love it when you get phone calls like that - duh -do you even know who I am?? Makes you wonder when you go and have these tests. I am taking calcium (Caltrate), vitamin D and exercising - also on an AI - go to the onc in a couple weeks will be interesting to see if he has me get another DEXA scan. I had one last year and was borderline low normal. You are walking more so that should help. The prices of prescriptions is just outrageous. I stopped taking Nexium because the copay was too high. When I need to, I take OC Prilosec or Pepcid.

The price of gasoline is another story - Yikes. We are going to Notre Dame this weekend and I shudder at the thought of filling our vans gas tank.

Suz

beth1225

Hi guys. Thanks for the responses to help. Jule and I have a good plan of action and I want this to help make a difference.

Nicki, where did you find that pic of the two kitties? One of mine loves to play with the water in the sink but never lounging!

Well, I got the doc's call. No sentinel node involvement, they took three, one on the left two on the right and all negative. In some of the breast tissue on the left they found fibrocystic changes and some evidence of DCIS. Since the DCIS was very slight and really just the very beginnings of it, the onc and bs and ps feel I should be ok with going back on Tamoxifen in a month for at least a year. That thought may change tomorrow after their Friday morning weekly meeting. The bs feels that if we had waited any lenght of time and without the Tamoxifen I did take, I would have had full-blown DCIS or worse. They found it in tissue that may not have shown up on any type of screenign it was so far away in the chest wall. My dad had a problem with phlebitis after his mast so they are holding off on the Tamoxifen for right now so it does not escalate my risk of it. Weird thing is, my dad and his mom both had the cancer in their left breast too.

Anyway, GOOD NEWS!! No matter how I look at it, it reaffirms all of this I am going through. If not for all of you, I would never have gotten this far and on the other side right now. How can I thank you enough!?!?

Welcome home Madison. Thanks for your cliff notes, I missed some stuff. Percoset brain on my end!

I need to take it easy the rest of the evening. The top of my left breast is a little puffy so I am putting ice back on. Can't wait to get out this one drain. Does it hurt?

If I have some pucker left I will be back. If not, I may just check the inbox and send reply pm's.

cmb35

Hi Girls

It is FREEZING here! I spent the day standing outside in the cold in a forest with my son's 5th grade class - a kind of outward bound thing for them. Fun, but cold!!

Well, I had asked Tim if he would write a letter of apology to Warren. He did, and we read it, and I have to say, I was really proud of my son when his reaction to the "ironically, I caused the very pain I was trying to avoid by the way I ended things" sentence was this: "well, ironic isn't really the right word is it mom, that would mean he did the right thing, and it turned out wrong, but he did the wrong thing, and he knew it" I don't want him to feel hurt or bitter, cause that's not healthy, but I'm glad he clearly understands that what Tim did was not OK!

In any event, I get an e-mail from Tim today asking if we got the letter and if it helped and if there is anything else he can do and he's so, so sorry. I am not usually vindictive, but I refuse to make him feel better about what he did!

So anyway, I don't mean to ramble on and on, and I'm probably not making a whole lot of sense, but thanks for listening anyway!!

Big fat hugs to all the Circle Girls, sleep well tonight..

jasmine

Wow, Colleen! What a wise little boy you have. He's very astute to recognize when he's not being told the truth. Kudos to you for raising a boy with more wisdom than most adults have.

marshakb

Beth, so glad to hear your good news. You did exactly the right thing. Something told you to be proactive and you were!

I don't remmeber the drains hurting when they came out. Just an odd feeling. Kinda like if you pulled a big long strand of spagetti out of your nose. If that makes sense. Marsha

beth1225

Marsah you are creative with words!

lizws

I agree with Marsha. Mine didn't hurt just had a weird feeling. My PS had me take a deep breath and then blow it out when she pulled the drains. It felt so good to get rid of those blasted things!

AlaskaDeb

Most of the drains I have had did not hurt at all when they came out. The one that did must have been resting on a nerve...it hurt like the dickens while it was in and when he pulled it out it felt almost like one long static electric shock...wierd, and a little painfull, but i was SO glad it was gone I didn't care.

Deb C

beth1225

so I guess it is kind of like an indescribable feeling like when i got my pins out of my arm. That was a strange sensation too, didn't hurt just weird.

I need to measure the other on th eright tonight. It was borderline yesterday but looked liek maybe we can do both if it is under 30 cc too. need ice pack for left arm. Thanks you guys for your insights. I need to remember about the breathing, Liz.

Biker54

Hello and good evening CGs,

I had no internet last night and I was jonesin', lol. To much work and no play is makin' Janny a cranky gal .

Madison, who knows, the AIs might be my problem. My sister, who has all kinds of medical problems, informed me today that our mom (deceased) had very high cholesterol. Uh, thanks for telling me Mom! I'm not going to stress about it. There are many more in the Circle with way bigger problems than me.

Nicki, I am ROTFLMAO over that kitty pic!!! That is too funny! You know, I have osteopenia also, and I'm taking 1500 mg of Oscal daily and mine has not gotten any worse for two years. Screw the prescription meds!

Suz, like I said earlier, it may be the AIs. Who knows. I don't know much anymore. Every day is a surprise. Don't try to remember everyone yet. Some of us post every day and others every few days. You will get to know everyone and find that we are a wonderful bunch of girlfriends!

Beth, that is great news!! Now you can concentrate on healing!

Colleen, Warren is more of a man than Tim could ever hope to be! Good for him!

Long day here for me. Vickie, keep up the good work. And Shel, the next guy will come along and it will feel right. I know I'm missing many, Karen, Betty, Susan, Deb, Lisa, Zaz, Shirley, Margaret, Jule, Shokk, Odalys, SoCal, Raye, Denise, Jeannie, Puppy, Robin, Christine, JanKay, NS, Newter, Tricia, CY, Sheri, Gus/Sue, Amy, and so many more that I can't think of right now.

Oh, and my drains....hurt like H*ll!!!!!!

Love and hugs!

Biker54

Good night ladies



See you all tomorrow!
Love and kisses.

[Deleted User]

Hey girls Amber here just wanted to stop in for my mama but I wont be till morning on her like her LOL you guys sure keep her busy and I wanted to talk to you all about keeping her out so late!haha I have called her about 9 times I dont know what to do without hearing her type all night I might get somes sleep.But she is so excited about this she reallty needs it and we have been through so so many that were going to work if this doesnt we will all just stink into that black hole again that we have been in for so long. She deserves this and more she needs her life back this chair is not enough i want to see her the way i remember her always on the go and always laughing. So she is a little scared but not bad I think she just really is scared about not waking up again she has had to go under so many times. But I KNOW this will work and everything will be GREAT. I hope you all on here are doing good and you are all VERY strong women you make the rest of the women seem weak! Amber

karen1956

Good evening CG's
Nicki - I love the pics of the kittens! you find the greatest pics. One of these days I will learn how to post pics.
Z- happy b'day on Saturday. May babies are great - thats me and two of my 3 kids!!!
Beth - so glad to hear the good pathology results. LIke Nicki, BC was on the right (all over and lymph nodes) and my left was a prophy, but the pathology on left was atypical lobular hyperplasia - so cancer waiting to happen!! It did not hurt when I had my drains taken out.
Jpann- I sent you a pm.
Joyce - congrats to you and DIL. Tattoo - how does it look?
JEannie - have a wonderful trip.
Well, I saw my PS today. He is not happy with the way things are looking on the BC radiated side. It has migrated down atleast 1cm and moved sideways a little. It is too soon to do anything and he feels that it is still a moving target. He wants to see me monthly and monitor it - he even took pictures to compare. PS said he will need to raise it up - so one more surgery. I was so hoping to be done. I just could cry. I will give it this try, but if anything else happens, then just take them out. Nothing will be done till atleast July as I go back in one month, then will see him in July after our vacation. I know this is nothing compared to Cy and Mena and all the other sisters with mets, but damn it, I just want it all to be done. Also, still loosing weight on the Tamox - 3# since I started almost 5 weeks ago. I am now down 23# since my Dx and getting to be way to skinny. Giving the Tamox one more week, then need to call onc back and try to figure out what to do.
Need to go for my nightly walk with DH and the dogs. Sending hugs to Tracey, Shel, Vickie, Puppy, Cheri, Sherndon,Trish, Liz, Newtor, Speth Jan, Amy, Susan, Sheri, Shirley, MArgaret, Denise, Lisa, Shokk, Jankay, Brenda, Robin (where are you), NS, and all the other wonderful girls who I may have forgotten. I love you all. Karen in Denver

socallisa

Amber your mama gets a big hug from all of us...

christineK

Hi CG's

Here I am, I am also on the I hate this freaking disease wagon too! I am praying for all of us including, For CY, Mena, Robin, Karen, NS, Sarah, Josh, Deb, Madison, Susan, Liz, Beth, Shel, Sue, Ishop, Shopmama, Cheri, Jpann, Shokk, Z, Jankay,Shirley, Marsha, Denise, Cherryl, Cheryl, Amy, every single one of us.
I am sorry I had to copy/paste the names. I have been crying almost continuously for the past two days and it has been hard for me to come here. I don't know what is up, I am never like this! Even with my own dx. But I guess I am tired of not being normal. 2.5 yrs post tx and I know I'll never be the same. A friend of mine, Angela, was just dx. Her mom had bc and it took her MIL. So I cry for waht she has to endure, at least a yr of chemo, I cry for her beautiful daughters, Everything makes me bawl! I did run out of Effexor 2 days ago and they wouldn't re-fill it, they finally did but do you think that could be it?
I didn't know where else to go with these feelings of despair. Angela had a lump 2 yrs ago and docs told her it was nothing. Now she has 3 seperate lumps and is probably looking at bi-lat mast and recon. I know she'll be fine, but I feel so sad for what she has to endure and how she and her life will never be the same. She has a kick-cancer's ass attitude. What happended to the positive me?
Hugs all-

b445

Just dropping by to tuck you all in. I informed those at work of the results and told them today we cry tomorrow we fight like hell!
I spent some awesome quality time with my two girls tonight. Viola, my youngest was still teary eyed. But we were all laughing in no time.
I also called the Assisted Living place to see if MIL had been moved up the list. Explained what was going on and they called me back tonight and if all goes well she can move in the 1st of June! We'll have to pay her June renty on her current place but that will give us time to move her out in less of a hurry! Looks like I will be bed shopping for a twin this weekend!

Jule, what are you up to girlfriend????

Lisa, babyies are almost here! are you excited yert? I am! of course you will get to hold your grandbaby on Tuesday and I have to wait til Wed.

Monday I go for the Brain MRI and talk with a social worker about disability and what not. I will have the port placed on Friday morning and have the first chemo Friday afternoon.
We are going to do some serious butt kicking for the beast!

Amber, Your Mom will be in all our prayers that this surgery is perfect and that she heal quickly and can dance around the kitchen with you soon!

OK really tired, so want to say Thank You all for your support!
Throwing some longs on the fires and hitting the bedsack.
Love, hugs and prayers to all

b445

Forgot to tell you I talked to NS today. She sounded a little tired but in good fighting spirit!

Madison, Thank you for the Cliff Notes hopefully NS can just look at them to see how we are all doing.

AlaskaDeb

Dear Christine-

Oh hon, "positive you" is still there...she is just buried in bad news and sad days. Do you have an anniversary date coming up? I have found that even though it is unconscious, those dates can really set me off. I can’t remember who told me that I have Post Traumatic Stress…I don’t even really know what that means exactly, but it rings true anyway. We are shell shocked. We function just fine until the car backfires on the road nearby and we all hit the dirt, afraid of another bullet.

Christine, be kind to yourself. Allow the tears to flow. Morn what you need to morn….and here is the important part….then move on. Even if it is just a tiny step away from sadness, make that step. Find joy in something you love. Pick a branch of lilac and really smell it….stay in the moment. I find if all I ask of myself is to truly BE in the moment, I find that the sadness seems to drift away. Who can be sad with the sun on their face, or with a cat on their lap? I tell myself I can be sad later if I need too, and sometimes I go back too it, but sometimes I can get to a better place, one little moment at a time.

I so understand where you are right now. I have so many people I love that are having a really hard time right now. It is hard to watch them go down the same road we went down because ewe KNOW how bad it sucks…but we also know that they can do it, because we did.

OK…I am babbling on and on and I think I must sound like a bad Hallmark card. I know what I want to say, but I don’t think I am doing a very good job expressing it…Does it help at all to know I really do understand?

I am sending you, and all of us, prayers and white healing light and hope for a better day tomorrow.

Peace be with you
Deb c

AlaskaDeb

Cy-

didn't see your post. Sending you special hugs too.

Bugs and fishes
Deb C

newvickie

Good morning ladies and yup it's finally Friday.
Gotta fire up the magic carpet for Liz, Jankay and Cheri. Deb...you want to drive? I would but I'm too tired and weepy and how knows where we'd end up!
Amber...hugs to you honey. Your mom will be just fine and dandy. We are all there with you and your mom today holding your hand and hers. You're a doll for posting... let us know how she is doing later if you can.
Christine...go ahead and cry. Your happy will come back when you get the tears out. I posted a stupid post yesterday about no more tears but you know what...we have to have our tears too. I hate it, I don't want to have to cry any more, I don't want there to be reasons to cry but that's just not the way life works. I got the news about Davey and cried and it just carried over to a crying jag about everything...not making sense...can't explain it all but sending you a hug.
Karen...sending you hugs too...don't feel bad about posting your heartaches. I wish you could be done too and it will come!
Deb...as always you have all the right words to say. Thank you for being our "pep talk" sister who we love so much.
I think Beth has her drains out today so we'll have to stop by there also. Good luck to you today.
Quiet night in the circle.
Puppy...where are you?
CY...sending you hugs and lots of positive energy.
Shel...come out and tell us you changed your mind and are going on the date after all.
Robin...now I just don't understand...where did you go? We are supposed to be digging a hole and you up and disappear leaving me and Amy with all the work! Get your silly butt back here!
Amy...where are you? Did I miss a post...oh wait..guinea hens! Was that yesterday?
Nicki...wake up sunshine sister!
I missed my cruises...geez. Was really looking forward to being a stowaway!
Two whole days without a cigarette! Yikes. This is tough but I'm hanging in there. Almost caved last night and thought about just half a one but managed to not do it. I only have a half a pack here and should really throw them away but haven't been able to go that far LOL. Don't intend to smoke them just need to know there here.
We need sunshine...geez...back to gray dismal days. I need to move somewhere there are SUNNY days more often than gray days!
Missed a bunch of ya...just can't keep up but you are all in my heart.
Love ya sisters
Vickie
here's hoping you all

[Deleted User]

Good Morning Everyone: Im so glad its Friday, at least I will have some computer time back and I will be able to catch up with all of your posts.

For those who asked where I got the picture of the kitties? I cant remember. I just go crazy and type in statements and a whole bunch of pictures pop up. I dont know what I typed in last night.

So go figure! I must have typed in something weird.

Liz: Good to hear the radiologist doesnt think its anything to worry about, but I know your still scared. I would be. Just because another test is needed. So wishing you good luck today. Just remember the girl with the Italian finger and goofy race horse will be right there with you.

Madison: Glad you had a good time. There certainly was alot to catch up on - we are such a chatty bunch.



OK! If anyone is doing something for anyone here on the boards. Please send me a PM - I am way to confused with whats going on here day to day. And I want to be included.

Jan: Doesnt matter the cause of High Cholesterol. No you have to figure out how to lower it. Thats one of the reasons I chose South Beach cause it helps you lose weight and lowers your cholesterol too. After chemo, my cholesterol was 310! Started taking Lipitor about 6 months ago. Good luck to you.

OK - I believe crying is good. Its natures way of letting our bodies relief the overwhelming stress and sadness we feel sometimes. I had my own drying spell last night over stupid stuff. If you just try and hold it in, you will hurt yourself in the end. So let those cleansing tears fall.

Suz: I pay $750/month for insurance - for my husband and myself. I have the most expensive PPO! So it does anger me that everytime I see the doctor or need a medication they dont cover it or only cover part of it. I wouldnt be crazy enough to not take something that I really thought I needed. Sadly the oil companies and insurance companies are showing ridiculous profits! Yet, here we sit trying to make ends meet from day to day.

Beth: Well the path report just confirms you made the right decision. As far as the drains are concerned? I was scared to have mine out. Before I could say owie, ther were out. It shouldnt be as bad as you are imagining.

Colleen: Somewhere along the line, I missed your post about a letter from Tim. What nerve. He is such a coward! Couldnt even talk to you face to face. Glad that your son is smart enough to understand what went down. And what an awful thing, right when your pulling yourself out of this world he put you in, he writes you a letter? Send the letter back I say!!



Karen: WEll that stinks about needing one more surgery. I am stomping my foot down. No More! No more! Sometimes I feel like this is never ending.

Christine: Your feelings are normal. It just seems to bite us in the butt by surprize. Effexor is one of those drugs you should not stop abruptly. It needs to be weaned off. So Im guessing that missing 2 doses is a big part of what your feeling.

CY: Well I must say that I sure do feel your fighting spirit. Your darn right you are gonna kick cancers butt.

Vickie: Good mornging Sunshine sister. Its been a rough 48 hours but we will win in the end!

Well thats it, my time is up - need to go make breakfast and go to work. Another busy day scheduled. Actually lately it seems like everyday is busy. Home you all have a wonderful day.




Nicki

[Deleted User]

jasmine

Woohoo! Good morning Campers! Its FANTABULOUS FRIDAY. No driving, no training. Vickie, gonna finish up some squares and send them to you. Alot more than last time.

Cy -- that must be a big load off knowing that you can get your MIL into a place that can help take care of her. Go out and kick some cancer butt.

Beth -- I think what you did was courageous to begin with and now it just confirms that you made a wise decision. My drains didn't hurt coming out either.

Amber -- Your mother is going to be just fine. Good things are around the corner for her and your family.

Vickie -- your doing a great job on the 'stop smoking' thing. Hang in there!

suzfive

Good morning all,

Wanted to quick pop in to let Cheri know that I will be praying for her today - sending lots of positive energy that her surgery will go well today and she will be as good as new. I will also keep the surgical team in my prayers so they will take good care of Cheri. Amber - it is so nice of you to post for your Mom. Please let us know how she is doing if you can.

Liz and Jankay - prayers and positive thoughts are with you for your MRIs today. Sincerely hope you both get good results.

Beth - you'll feel so much better once the drains are removed. I always took a pain pill before I went to have mine pulled - don't really know if I needed to or not - but I am a chicken. Took only seconds and it was all over with. The deep breath really helps I have found with a lot of quick potentially painful procedures like needlesticks and such. Good luck. Good news on the path report - I think. I had a proph on the right that came back ALH - reaffirmed my decision and helped with the skeptics who thought I was crazy to get rid of a "good breast".

Christine - Hugs to you -we all have those days when things just seem to be overwhelming. Crying is cleansing. Deb as always had some good advice.

Deb - you expressed yourself perfectly.

Karen - sorry about you needing more surgery.

Amy - where are you? I think I remember you were not feeling well ??? Sending some healing energy your way.

Robin - are you back yet? Check in please.

CY - Kick some cancer a$$! Your spirit is amazing. Are you going to have a grandbaby on Wednesday? How exciting.

I am going down to Notre Dame this weekend for their graduation. They have a grotto down there like the one at Lourdes in France. I will light a candle - or several candles for all the circle girls. My sil is a Holy Cross sister so I will ask them to include the circle girls in their prayers. Also, my dh aunt is one of Mother Teresa's sisters. She is #5 - the fifth person to become a sister under Mother Teresa. She gave me some Miraculous Medals and some Mother Teresa medals that were blessed at Mother Teresa's tomb in Kolkata. If anyone would like me to send them a set - PM me with your addy and I will get them to you.

Z- have a great birthday bash tomorrow - take plenty of pics to share.

Have a great Friday everyone.

Suz

Woo hoo, almost lost this post but I copied it. I am learning.

Love the polar bear Nicki - you really do find the best pics.

Madison

Morning All,

Leaving for the office. (actually waiting for the magic carpet) be back later.
madison

christineK

Thanks for ll of your care and concern CG's. It seems the cryin has just begun and etting ready for a wekend full of it. My SIL's father passed away this am. He was like the patriarch of my fam since my dad passed and Nonno to all of neices and nephews, just not his own his grandkids. It was kind of sudden. Some type of blood infection and congestive heart failure. We just celebrated his 80th bday adn he has been widowed for some time, but had a wonderful lady friend, Nonna to all the kids.

I guess it is our age, but when it rains it pours and the tears follow.

shokk

Good morning chicas............we are just one group of never ending buddle of nerves aren't we sweethearts?????? I think being hormone deprived, constantly scared, and wonder from day to day how we are all going to survive this stupid nightmare of bc it just takes it's toll.......((((((Christine))))))just remember you have got the best hair.......your grandmother was Lebanese?????I love that kind of food..........(((((Vickie))))you are in one desperate need of your daughters arms wrapped around you....Amy I am worried about you.....I look forward to your post during the wk......that way I can handle you going awol on the wkends......Jan Got Cholesterol?.....it could very well be from family genes........found out my mom and brother who both are skinney have high cholesterol....wish someone had mention that to me.......Madison glad your back......(((((CY))))we are all lining up getting ready to kick some more cancer ass......I think Robin has responded very well to her liver mets...the chemo seems to be working.......yours will too.......ok chicas to everyone.....Nicki, Ns, Colleen, Beth (glad your doing so well)....your instincts were right on........oh geez.....phone.....brb.....promise....