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TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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Pam...passing a few hugs your way. Thanks for stopping by and sharing. You made me realize my woes today are small. I don't have any advice for you as I can not imagine what you are going through...so big hugs and a prayer coming your way.
I went to my daughter's 8th grade graduation this morning and I was a mess. I cried the whole time. All I could think about was if I was going to be around for high school graduation. Does this fear of the future and what it holds EVER go away? I should have been celebrating with my family, and instead I was a mess...again.
I can be doing well for weeks at a time now, but when this fear cycle gets going, I just hate it! Even though I recognize that I do this when I am sick or stressed for other reasons I still can't seem to get my crap together.
Sorry for the whiny me-me-me vent. I can't share this with most folks because the just don't get it or they look at me like I have two heads because "You don't have cancer any more so what's your problem?"
I am at work, and buried with things too do before tomorrow. Maybe now that I have this out of my system, I can get my work done.
Love Ya All
Thanks for "getting it"
Bugs and Fishes
Deb C0 -
Yep Deb I get it. I did the same thing this weekend after the spring formal symphony of my son. I was giving him the spill of sticking with the violin even though he wants to play the guitar and college came up. There I was all excited about how well he played and then this gloom and doom hit me that what if I dont see him go to college or better yet graduate from high school. I just got quiet for a bit as we were riding and had the silent woe is me party. I know nobody knows what the future holds but I never thought about it like that before.
Amy0 -
Nicki,
I posted a note to you on the Afghan thread by mistake. I wanted to tell you that you have given me your cold lol. And I tried to be kind to you!! So now i'm taking Zicam and drinking tea. Hope you're feeling better. Glad I got my threads straightened out !!
love,
Cherryl0 -
Good Afternoon Everyone!
Cheryl: It must have been me sneezing at the computer screen on Sunday. It did go into my chest but the antibiotic, mucinex, and zicam is taking care of it. But I still feel yucky.
Liz! Liz! Liz! Im shaking my head. You best get your butt into the PS. At least the tests didnt show anything, so that has to be a relief.
PurpleMB: You too? Warm lemon water sounds wonderful. Soothing to the throat. I have some Raspberry green tea. Brewing a cup and putting fresh lemon in it. I think tonight I might just put a shot of Irish Whiskey in it. Maybe I will sleep even if husband has the tv on all night. At first I thought it might be allergies, but Im coughing up junky stuff.
Pam: Glad you came to sit by the fire for a bit. You dont need to talk - we are with you. Our spirit is strong. Parents are not supposed to out live their children.
To everyone else, have a wonderful evening. Its time for me to go eat dinner and catch some shut eye.
Nicki0 -
Hi everyone! Thanks for checking in on me. I have checked the pm's and email but I am so up to my neck in alligators from work. I had the opportunity to do some telecommuting with a couple of the merchandsing groups helping with scheduling. Even when I am feeling better, I don;t think I want this headache! Especially when I have to fill a spot that someone said yes to and then cancelled. I have been taking tylenol so i don;t muck things up on percoset. But my arms are sore form all the typing. Thanks tgirl for posting for me.
I cannot possibly catch up! I saw some highlights as I read through.
Nicki, so sorry about a cold again! You have been plagued this year.
Who has the impossible dd? Even I grew up and I drove my mother up the wall!
Vickie, I am not counting days just trying to send encouragement through to you! You will do this! I know you can.
Robin, are you AWOL? Guess we need to mount up and try to find you. Expect lots of phone calls, girlfriend.
Puppy, my sweet sister in the mountains! Have you heard anything yet? b9b9bb9b99b9b9b9b9b9b9!
Marsha, congrats on the end of chemo.
Lisa, congrats on a new baby.
I lost track because dinner needed tending to. DH is letting me do a little bit but not much. I go to the ps bright and early to morrow, dil picks us up at 8:30. Come on along with the carpet too and make sure some of the drains come out! Hope I am up to posting later.
Sorry I forgot a lot of you but I am so tired! Know that I think of all of you all the time and wishing good results and lots of love!0 -
Dang....you don't think Robin went and an shot EVIL do you? Do you think she keeps a gun in the house? If anyone hears she's in jail in Crossville, TN let me know, my brother is the judge in the county next to there! Marsha
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Good evening girls,
whew...long day. Only three days till the weekend and a long one at that!
Seven days without a cigarette! Whew...today was hard...forgot to take the Chantix this morning and guess what...it really does help with the cravings lol!
Liz...I'm glad the tests didn't show anything but geez...enough already. Off to the PS with you and hopefully it will be an easy fix.
Oh Amy and Deb...I am right there with you on the "what about tomorrow, next week, month, year, etc."...all the stinkin what if's that plague us day and night. I so very much hope to see Nathaniel graduate...I PLAN on seeing him graduate. I want to see Sarah happy again and a grandbaby would be nice if it isn't asking for too much! So not ready to leave this world (not that I'm planning too but you know what I mean.) One year from my bilateral and it's hitting me in weird ways.
Cheryl...uh oh...stay away from Nicki's wagon! Should have told you that this morning but too late now. Get lots of rest and feel better quick!
Pam...CRAWL UNDER A WAGON WITH YOUR BLANKET...I DON'T THINK SO! Get your butt right in the center of the circle and let us surround you. You don't have to talk, we will just give you a hug here and there, feed you chocolate, sing you silly songs, whatever it takes to get you through this rough period. Sending you a hug right now.
Theresa...a four mile walk..wow..good for you! I wonder if it's four miles around the mall? LOL...just kidding, I really need to start exercising as I am getting the dreaded Tamoxifen belly! Creepy! I hate it! Need to start doing MB's "she hates me's".
PUPPY AND ROBIN...enough is enough...time to get your butts back here where you belong. Does anyone have a number they can call to check on these two! Tell them we are on our way with a huge posse, duct tape, ropes and handcuffs.
Madison...congratulations to your DD and you! Have fun with the whole celebration!
Colleen...take me with you when you find the Zen place...I really need a trip there!
Cheri...where are you? Amber...if you are reading please let us know how mom is doing and Cheri if your lurking and not posting it will be no blue drinks for you this weekend! I'll find them scary guys to hang out with you while we drink all your good stuff...so there!
Jankay...haven't seen you since first thing this morning...hope you're having a good day. Working on you list!
Lisa...do we have a baby yet...are we gonna get to see pictures? Happy Birthday to your DH!
Sheri...sending you a hug...he will be fine. I hate having my daughter so very far away but she's at least in the same country!
Marsha...I had chemo before surgery so I consider my surgery date to be my anniversary. I know that the Cancer Society says the date of your dx but that just doesn't feel right to me. I still had cancer until they removed it so today is the day! As of right now (6pm)they were still operating. Made it to the recovery room at 7:30pm. Couldn't wait to see my little guy and so relieved it was over. I took all the staff flowers from Walmart and they were really thrilled.
Denise..how are the countertops looking? What a thrill. I love home improvements, especially if someone else is doing it LOL! I ususally end up doing it myself and having to call someone for emergency help when I totally screw it up or it can't be fixed with duct tape or a glue gun.
Tricia...did all go well today?
Nicki..I have to go outside and get some things done and I know you will be to bed before I get back in so have sweet dreams.
Alwayshope...WHERE ARE YOU! OK...WHERE IS TRACEY? Oh my...are our girls being kidnapped or something. Maybe they just don't love us anymore...pouting and whining here.
Suz...have you moved into a motel yet...oh wait...DD gone for a day or two...big sigh of relief huh?
Ok...gotta get outside and get my bleeding hearts planted, everything watered and then back in to do dinner and crochet...I'm wayyyy behind!
love to all
Vickie0 -
Hey Beth...good to see you...day seven!! Yippee.
Marsha...I thought of that myself! Maybe we need to take a road trip.0 -
vickie, a little skinny thing like you giving everyone "whatfor". too funny.
i just talked with cheri. she's almost home. poor thing she has had a long day with a lot of pain. (hugs cheri)0 -
Vickie and Marsha, I thought of that too. I hope she didn't go and really shoot the Evil! Couldn't blame her if she did though. Maybe she's just feeling bad from the chemo again.
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Pam
u can curl up under any wagon u want too and i think a touch of tea would do u wonders. If your heart gets too heavy we will help u carry it!
HUGS0 -
Vicki,
Hi there!! Happy one year. I know it probably feels weird, but you are a winner and this time next year we'll raise a glass to celebrate year 2!! I'll stay away from Nicki! We're 30 miles apart, who knew those little buggers could travel so far!!! Take care.
Hey Beth, good to see you.I had three drains that I named "Curly," "Larry" and "Moe." Curly and Larry were out in about a week, but Moe hung around for another week. One of my co-workers saw me in the hall the day Moe finally came out and asked what was going on with Moe. I said he was finally gone. She replied:"Good. He needed to go, he was just draining you." She and I were the only ones who knew what we were talking about, but the looks on some of the faces of people listening were priceless. Hope you boys are gone soon.
Love to all,
Cherryl0 -
Hi..just got home..
Granddaughter arrived safely this morning!!!
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Evening all!
Yea, the counter tops are in!!!! They are Beautiful! DH had to re-do the plumbing..(yes, Marsha you read that right!) Glad I wasn't here all day! He can build anything, but he ain't no plumber!
Laura: I'm glad that your appt. went well! And good luck to your Mom with the knee scope.
Odalys: Still sayinig prayers for your friend. I know you want to help and filling in is great. But don't overdue yourself....you're healing also.
Vickie: Gotta ask....who is Davey? One year anniversary..bitter sweet isn't it? I, too go by my surgery date for cancerversary. In my eyes that is when they took the beast and threw it in a jar in some lab.
Nicki: Boys are dumb, Men are Stupid!! Get some sleep tonight and I hope you feel better in the morning!
Marsha: WooHoo, last Chemo tomorrow!! The girls in the center will appreciate anything..simple.
I've been thinking the samething about Robin as you and Vickie. Someone called her before, but I don't remember who it was. Good to know that you have a Brother that is a Judge!
Tricia: I'm so glad all is going well for you..waiting to hear how the PS appt went today.
Sheri: Your Son actually went, eh? Why did he go to Ecuador?
Jan: I can never read the scribble I jot down either! I had never heard the vitamin thing before so thanks for sharing! (How's DH's butt?)
Theresa: You take lots of Vitamin C? I am just taking a multi (came with the diet!), thanks for the info.
Amy: I feel so bad that I let it slip by me that you are still on chemo. Blessings to you.
I like little Hey Judes antics!! I bet he was right proud of himself for kicking the goat! Duh, I didn't think about MaMa's milk when I asked what he was eating!
Betty: Whatever you are doing sounds both fun and time consuming! Gonna check out the website.
Lisa: Are you a Grandma yet??? How exciting! Can't wait to see some pictures!
Colleen: Good luck with your appt. tommorrow. We are only accepting good news, so you will be just fine!
Puppy: Where are you?
Z: Recovered yet?
Liz: Nothing showed on the MRI..that's great! Maybe it's just a tweak that the PS can fix!
Suz: Oh the joys of teenage kids! Wanna be Adults! My DD was no problem, but my youngest Son............WWAAAAAAAA! He's 28 now and finally showing some signs of growing up! You're right, You do not need the stress.
Susan: Thanks for the update on Cheri. So glad that she is almost home. I can just picture you taking Markers to your last Chemo and having them sign your head!!!!
Madison: Congrats on DD graduating from Law School! Have fun with the festivities! Wow, you are whipping out Afghans left and right!
Deb: Hope you are feeling better. Bitter sweet at your DD 8th. grade graduation. With your strong attitude and God by your side, I have no doubts that you will be at her high school graduation.
I agree, will the fear of the unknown ever go away??
Hugs to all,
Denise0 -
YES I WAS AWOL FOR A WHILE THIS AFTERNOON. MY SISTER SURPRISED ME WITH HAVING THE CArPET CLEANED IN MY LIVING ROOM SO THE COMPUTER WAS UNPLUGGED FOR A WHILE.
MY SCOOTER IS CHARGED AND READY TO GO UP THE INTERSTATE TO RESCUE ANY SISTERS NEEDING HELP. jUST LET ME KNOW WHO INEED TO PICK UP ON THE WAY. BY THE WAY, Z HAS BEEN QUIET I MAY HAVE CALL AND FUSS AT HER.
I AM IN FOR A BIG DECISION.
MY HUBBY AND I HAVE DECIDED THAT SOMEONE NEEDS TO MOVE.
WE CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE. MY DISEASE HAS KILLED MY 20 YEAR MARRIAGE.
NO DIVORCE = JUST CANT LIVE TOGETHER AN YMORE0 -
Oh Lisa, She is just Beautiful!! Congrats!!
Hugs,
Denise0 -
Pam, I just want to reach through this computer and bring you home with me for a few days. Please let us help you get through this. Center of the Circle with your Afghan...you will be safe there with all of your pain, memories and flash backs.
I know just how you feel and I totally understand the flashbacks to the "day" that you are having. I am going to keep my eyes on you, my arm around your shoulders, and a heart full of concern and understanding.
Love ya,
Denise0 -
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LisaSoCal: Your new granddaughter is beautiful. Wish I could see your smiling from ear to ear.
Nicki0 -
Lisa, I am at work and we are all oooohing and aaaaaahing over the gorgeous new grand daughter. She is just beautiful.
JanKay, sorry to hear your news about your marriage
. That sinks.
BBL0 -
SoCalLisa,
Congrats on the beautiful grand daughter. What a little angel!!
Cherryl0 -
Jankay...WTH...is this what you want? Will you be at peace with this decision or is he simply walking out on you? You know what we do with men like that around here...off to the deliverance tent with them! I'm sorry and sending you a hug.
Lisa...beautiful granddaughter...lucky you! Thanks for posting her picture.
Denise...Davey is a friend. Known him and his wife since Sarah was born and Sarah and their son Josh have been best friend forever (literally!)...he lost his battle to the beast. He actually had a cancer that the hospital here hadn't seen in 25 years. He fought for a while but it went from his intestines, to his liver then to his lungs and he said "no more...I'm done...I want to live what's left of my life without the chemo and the sickness." Just so very sad. My heart breaks for his whole family and Sarah...she was either at their house growing up or Josh was at our house and she thought the world of Davey. He was her second dad (actually better than her real dad by far).
Cheri...sending you a gentle hug and I won't drink all the blue drinks on ya! I'll even fix you a couple extra strong ones for the pain.
ok...off to pick up the house and figure out what in the world I'm gonna wear to work tomorrow. If it's a skirt then I have to shave my legs LOL! That was ONE nice thing about chemo.
Love ya all and I'll most likely be back
Vickie
hmmm...where is Shel, Margaret, CY, and Z. I wonder if these missing girls are out partying without us!0 -
Lisa- she is a beautiful baby! Smell her tiny little head for me. I adore new baby smell....
Hugs
Deb C0 -
Good evening CG's
SoCalLisa - your new granddaughter is absolutely gorgeous. Thank you so much for sharing her picture. I hope she brings you and your family much joy!!!
Nicki - glad you are on the mend
Cheri - are you home yet?
Beth - good luck at the ps tomorrow.
Vickie - how did your day go - a bitter sweet day! This is just the first of many anniversaries for you.
Marsha - horray on your last chemo.
Tricia - how did hte PS visit go?
Sheri - hugs to you - hope your son has a good trip and is safe.
Odalys - can't wait to find out what your surprise is.
Betty - good luck with the conference
Collen - glad to see you post
Rondab - welcome back
Suzfice - my DD who is in college doesn't come home on half her college breaks as she says there is nothing to do here. She has a week off in June and is staying in Chicago - she will be here in August for a few weeks. Hope things settle down at your house. I no longer have a patience and I tell my kids that all the time - plus they see that in my behavior!!!
Cookie - gretings
PAm - sending you hugs - you go ahead and wrap yourself in the afghan. wrap yourself in all of our hugs. I can't imagine your pain. Please know we care about you. Hugs
Madison - congrats on DD graduating law school
Loz - glad MRI is a okay - go call your PS.
Deb - congrats on your 8th grad daughter.
DH bought GOJI juice for me to try. Took it yesterday and today and I think it is helping. He is also taking it. Weight loss has stopped on the Tamox. Still think I would like to go back on the AI"s if I can manage the pain. Still tired on the Tamox but overall the side effects are somewhat better after 5 1/2 weeks. Told DH that I wanted the best chances to be here for a long time and if the AI's give me a beter chance, then maybe I would try them again if I could manage the side effects. For some reason, I feel like a defeatest on the Tamox and that I couldn't stand the AI's. On saturday, a friend I play maj johngg with said lots of people take these medications without problems. I wanted to strangle her as I was not feeling good that day and just said that 26% of the people on the AI's have joint pain and she just looked at me dumbfounded and said oh!! You gals are so right - people just don't get it. I guess I didn't either before I was Dx with BC. I told my DH that I didn't know if I could do chemo again and he said he didn't know if he would let me - he is so protective of me. Sorry if I offended anyone as I know many of the sisters here are so very courageous and doing chemo again. I am lucky to be married to my best friend (yes, he does annoy me at times). I am just so trying to move on, but it is so darn hard. I just can't get beyond the feeling that longevity is not in my cards - yet before BC Dx I never felt this way - the women in my family all lived into their late 80's and were relatively healthy. Maybe its all still just too soon. Plus its not over yet with the migrating implant. Now even the "jog" bra is not comfortable. The bra rides up on the BC side and is leaving marks.
Well, I need to think about making dinner. Tonight starts the holiday of Shavout (when we got the Torah at Mt. Sinai). I won't be back till Thursday night. Wishing everyone a good evening feel good days tomorrow. Jankay, Z, Puppy. Sige, Ginney, Ann, Sheri, Cy, NS, Joyce, Jeannie, Jan. Jules, Shel. Shirley, Susan, Amy, Tracey, Sherndon, Newtor, Tracey and everyone else - hugs from Denver, Karen0 -
{{{SWEET PAMMY }}} Our {{CRAIG}} Is so Happy one day soon
You will be at Peace knowing His life has just begun!!
xoxoxo With all my Love Aunt Puppy0 -
Congratulations, Lisa. She is beautiful, such a sweet face. Thanks for sharing her pic.
Jankay- that was a funny joke.
Nickie - I too have had a cold several times this year. Geeze, maybe we should get the flu shot next year. Hope you feel better soon.
Vickie - congrats on being smoke free for seven days! Keep it up. Your body will thank you.
Gentle (((((hugs))))) for Cy, NG and all the sisters who are having such a difficult time. Sending you lots of healing light.
Sorry, I don't get to mention everyone, please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Got to go now, I'm getting ready to watch the season finale of Dancing With The Stars.
Love,0 -
So sorry CGS, I have dial up and waited all day for a call
well I got one from my family doctor, I go in to visit her
about getting a brain mri. scheduled!! wonder if this is gonna be the big meeting where I hear " IT'S BACK" as you can see i am just not my cheery self right now, it is the not knowing that drives us nuts!!! DON'T THEY REALIZE THAT!!!!!!!!!!! I will let you know as soon as i hear anything, my appt. with FD is thursday at 1:30! I love you guys so much, sorry for being such a pain!! xoxoxo Puppy0 -
Hi everyone,
I was very happy with the ps, even though we had to wait 2 hours to see her. Yes, that was me out in the hall in my paper dress asking how much longer it would be. I think they don't like people walking the halls in paper.
She is highly regarded and takes her time with her patients, so I will forgave her.
She will do the recon and the lift on the other breast at the same time, which I like - one less surgery. I liked everything she suggested. She recommended a silicone high profile implant. When I asked about having then match, she said she will do any corrections (if needed) when she does the exchange surgery.
She said that because I have large aerolas, she will take some from the good breast and transplant it to the other so they will match better than all tattoo. The nipple will still be tattooed. (And I swore I would never get a tattoo!)
Her first available appt for non cancer patients is in Sept, so I was worried about how soon my surgery could be scheduled. She told me she is shooting for June 2 which I was so relieved to hear, since I didn't get clean margins, and that was almost 2 months ago.
So if the onc surgeon is available that day, which is a Saturday, I won't have long to wait.
Thanks for all your good thoughts today.
Now off to do more catching up.
Tricia0 -
well..I was heading off to bed (exhausted as usual)and the neighbor fired up his airplane and just buzzed my rooftop...I swear that man is trying to give me a friggin heart attack. Nathaniel jumped out of bed and is standing in the front yard in his pj's waiting for him to come back in for a landing. He has to fly really low to land as his runway (through his cow pasture) isn't far from our house. He nearly brushes the tops of our trees on his way in. It's a pretty big plane too!
brb0 -
ok...just a quick flight tonight and he's buzzed us again and landed. whew. Seeing a plane over your house that low is pretty strange! Nathaniel of course thinks its just the coolest thing ever.
Off to bed with me...DD birthday coming up and I have no idea what to do for her. Thinking of trying to do a painting...yup...got the paints and the brushes back out but afraid to try.
Love you all...each and every one!
what a wonderful circle we are...in and out and back and forth but always circling each other and coming together again...a circle that never ends.
Vickie0
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