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I WANT MY MOJO BACK!

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  • Jenster
    Jenster Member Posts: 25
    edited August 2005

    DH used to have a lot of sinus problems. He would tell me it was because he was "backed up". LOL!! Of course, when he was getting a lot of attention and still had congestion, then it was just plain old sinus problems.

  • Notsopuny5721
    Notsopuny5721 Member Posts: 17
    edited August 2005
    Alright, for the sake of clarity and before I get blacklisted by every other male in the universe, I feel compelled to make the following point.

    There is a *condition* (is it medical?) popularly known as *blue balls* (and I'm sure none of this is news to many/most of you) in which if a man has been sexually stimulated for *a while* (varies, depending on the individual) he experiences a painful sensation in the ah, testicular region (how's that for being PC?!) which will only be alleviated by ejacualting.

    That is a *legitimate* "condition," which again, is the result of *stimulation* of some kind (either physical or visual--i.e., looking at porn--or even verbal). But, to say, however, that "men have a biological *need* for release every day" (with or without stimulation), I don't buy.

    Flame suit on!

    Greg
    Quote:

    Got a good laugh out of the above "release" issue. My DH will say it "hurts" and he can't go all day like that when he wants a BJ. Of course I know better, but he likes to think he is fooling me.

  • Notsopuny5721
    Notsopuny5721 Member Posts: 17
    edited August 2005
    Okay Connie I'll *bite* on this one...

    Is that really true (about American men) being so selfish in bed? Or, is that more of an "Old wives tale?"

    I mean I know of a guy raised here in the heartland, who almost always tries to give his DW several "big Os" during foreplay. Where I come from it's called being a "mentsch" (proper person). Besides my Momma (may she rest in peace!) raised me with a "ladies first" philosophy.

    In addition, there are also tangible benefits to taking care of her first. Send me a PM if you want details...
    Quote:

    Hey Solly,

    Well, IMNSHO, most men from the U.S. have NO CLUE on what "love making" actually means. I have had the very fortunate luck to have a French Canadian for a husband, and he would NEVER, EVER even think about not making sure I had had at least 3-4 orgasms before he did!

    ConnierC

  • Jenster
    Jenster Member Posts: 25
    edited August 2005

    I have to add, my DH is American bred and born. He's always (well - like 99.9% of the time) looked after my satisfaction first. Dang! Where is he???

  • Claiire
    Claiire Member Posts: 60
    edited August 2005

    I swear I tell you guys more than I tell my "live and in person" friends.

    I met a really great guy online last month. Not the 22 year old... this one is my age. Cute, sexy, attractive all of those things! I had sent him a "flirt" months ago on one system and never heard back... Well, I got a flirt from him on a different system and he didn't even know about the other system because he had not been on there for months and had not seen my flirt.

    Anyway... after emailing back and forth and talking on the phone a few times we decided to meet at a local wings place. very low key, tv all over the place, trivia etc. So, if the date turned out to be a "dud" and there was no "chemistry" we could always play trivia.

    Well... let me tell you... that was the best first date I have had in my life. We laughed, told stories, talked about what we do and what we like to do and where we like to go etc... it was just flat out amazing. He kissed me several times and I kissed him back... we were touching eachother under the table.. (stroking legs... nothing like "that") and generally acting like kids! The waitress thought we were an "Old" (her word) married couple out for a night on the town.
    When he walked me out to my car, we got in the back seat and necked for over an hour... Oh My! We made plans to get together soon... probably this weekend.

    The really funny part of all of this is while we were maiking out, an suv pulled up to park in the space next to us. They pulled in slowly and we could tell they were looking at us... we giggled and he pulled down his jeans and simulated humping. They actually saw his bare ass... They pulled out so fast it was hysterical! We sat there laughing about that for at least 5 minutes. It was getting late and he had to get home to let his dog out and I had to work this morning...
    All day, I have thought about him and am looking forward to seeing him again. You know that feeling you get when you kiss someone and it feels like every nerve in your body lights up... that is what his kisses were like! I think he is tooooooo good to be true!

    I have not told him about the BC stuff and I think I will put it off for a while... at least until he is going to see me without a shirt. He'll be able to tell something is different. My lumpectomy scar is not very prominant, but the boobie kinda shrunk after radiation... For now.. I don't care. I had a great night and NEVER even thought about BC once!
    I'll keep ya posted!

  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 869
    edited August 2005
    Ah, the first stirrings of lust, if only I could remember that far back!!
    Keep telling us old gals your action, maybe that will help us get some ideas. LOL
  • Solly
    Solly Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2005
    Claire

    You were necking in the back seat on your first date with a stranger? he must have been good. Oh what I'd give for lust like that again. I'm jealous.

    On a another note, my pocket rocket arrived. All I can say is I have a new best friend. Used it with Dh and alone. I think I may like alone better. haha. Only took 7 minutes. I figure if I do it every night, I can really cut the time down. If you don't have one, I strongly suggest you get one.
  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 74
    edited March 2008
    Claire- you are an inspiration! I am so happy for you! Keep the stories coming.

    Solly-congrats on the pocket rocket. Every one needs to own one.

    Last night we tried some crazy karma sutra positions that felt amazing, although I thought my leg was going to get stuck at one point or another. I definitely recommend getting a book with illustrations of new positions to try.
    This morning we were picking which ones we could try tonight...
  • Denise22
    Denise22 Member Posts: 1
    edited August 2005

    I have been walking 30-45 mins a day and trying to get early morning sunlight because I have read it promotes the Vit. D that helps fight cancer then I realized my breast area never gets sun. Think about how we wear bras, push them up, and cover them up. Its unnatural. I saw the sun shining through my bedroom window and I took the the chance to just lay there with nothing on my top for a while. It felt so good to just be natural. Everything needs a little sun. It was stimulating (for us who have lost our mojo). I have not felt that way for quite a while.

  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 144
    edited August 2005
    Maybe there will be a new study that Nudists don't get BC! LMAO!
  • Claiire
    Claiire Member Posts: 60
    edited August 2005

    Solly Wrote: You were necking in the back seat on your first date with a stranger? he must have been good. Oh what I'd give for lust like that again. I'm jealous.


    YES, he was/is that good! Technically he was a stranger, but we have been talking on the phone and via email for a while. I also knew enough details about him that I didn't feel at all unsafe. My best friend had his address and his telephone number and license plate number.

    Beside... there is something about him that is just so... yummy. I really did feel as if I had known him for years. Maybe we knew eachother in a past life.. yeah, that's it!!!

    More as it happens!
  • Claiire
    Claiire Member Posts: 60
    edited August 2005
    changing my name. I'm changing my name on here. I just realized I have been pointing some co-workers here and they don't need to know ALL the intimate details of my life so easily... I'll be "Womi" soon!

    It comes from a late night chat session years and years ago on a bbs. I was tipsy and someone asked me if I was hot and I said, yeah, I'm a hot womi - I meant to type woman...
  • jhallinan
    jhallinan Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2005
    Ya'll are something else! Whenever I get a bit down - all I have to do is come on here and read what is going on and after seeing Beth's post about Kama Sutra - darn! I'm going to a party tonight already but, now I'm going to wear something a bit more sexy! I think a hot new boyfriend is in the cards.



    Hey - a little update.That same night, I went to a hawaiian themed party and wore a few of those fuschia silk lei's and one wrapped over my head like a Tahitian dancer. I went to Kroger around midnight to get some snacks post-party and men were following me around the store! Then, at the checkout desk - all of the cashiers and bag boys said "Oh, you look really beautiful and exotic - you should wear this everyday!" Doubt the boss would appreciate the look with a suit! But, this is my tip for the day- go buy some silk leis and go about your errands as though you just came back from a lovely trip or Hawaiian party!



    Aloha!





    JoyousATL
  • 3strikes
    3strikes Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2005
    How's this for being brave...

    Tonight I asked DH... what were the chances of anything happening, should we both retire to the bedroom at the same time.

    Shot down by the words...
    "THAT'S ALOT OF WORK"

    My mojo can stay dead. I don't care anymore!

    Diane
  • Solly
    Solly Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2005
    Diane,

    Get you a little vibrating "friend" and use it yourself and maybe you can cut down on some the "work" your hubbie describes. That's what I'm doing. If it doesn't increase my "O" time, at least I'm getting the big O every night.
  • RhondaRogue
    RhondaRogue Member Posts: 1
    edited August 2005
    I apologize if I am yakkin about something previously discussed but hell 17 pages of one post is a lot to go thru. This is something that I wanted to ask about ages ago - but holy hannah its hard to talk about.



    I had issue regarding sex since I started chemo. While I've never been an overly sexual person, I lost all feeling in my "button" and dried up to the point where anything at all was painful. To put it fairly bluntly, you could rub my button for hours and all I'd do is get pissed off.



    My DH, who is much more sexual than me (read "we've already had issues that we've worked thru") took in in stride as best he could and we found alternate ways to see to his "needs" where possible. Once it got to the point where even that was a strain - I sucked it up and told him to find relief elsewhere for the time being (no judgements here please...everyone is entitled to their own way of dealing with things).



    I actually got to the point where I was scared that nothing would come back at all. Fortunately, sensation in my "button" (we called it a broken button LOL) has begun to return. Not 100% but the damn thing does work from time to time and I use what's called an egg to get things moving. Ummmm and for you ladies that are comfortable with aids - get yourself one, you won't regret it



    Unfortunately, the other aspect hasn't resolved yet. Although I have more lubrication, it is still very painful -and omg, the leg and hip muscles I haven't used in that fashion for months and months are not happy when I try.



    My homecare nurse told me about a lubricant that is supposed to be much much better than things like Astroglide - but I don't remember the name right now. I'll try to remember to ask her when she's here next and let you know. (chemo brain ya know...and I'll use that excuse for years damnit!)



    If you are curious about my saga - hit the Canadian forum and look for Well ain't that a pisser or feel free to message me.



    Rhonda
  • Claiire
    Claiire Member Posts: 60
    edited August 2005
    Just bumping to the top for the newbies looking for it!

    Nothing new to report in my MoJo life...
  • Jenster
    Jenster Member Posts: 25
    edited August 2005
    I'll report.

    Last weekend I got DH home AND my Magic Wand with G-spot attachment all at the same time. AND I was reading "Passion" by Lisa Valdez - a romantica book. Not my usual reading preference, but I have to say it really got things going.

    JINKIES!!!
  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 139
    edited August 2005

    Lubricant - the best: Burt's Bees apricot Baby Oil. Put it into a little squeeze container. It's all natural almond oil, very slippery, tastes and smells good!

  • Candle
    Candle Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2005
    Damn...wouldn't have thought it. Burts Bees has something for everything. I'll have to try that.

    Shirley
  • casinogirl
    casinogirl Member Posts: 476
    edited August 2005
    Claiire - you go, girl! I have a story similar to yours...I too recently met a guy online and we are REALLY hitting it off!



    Met at a TGIFridays last Tues and had appetizers and a drink. After about an hour and a half of laughing and talking, he walked me out to my car and asked if he could have a hug. I said yes. Then he asked for a kiss. I said yes. We ended up standing in the parking lot making out like teenagers (he's 47, I'm 43) for TWO HOURS! I couldn't believe TWO HOURS had gone by.



    We've seen each other everyday since except for Sat and Mon...he's coming over tonight and we're going out again. He wines me and dines me....he's lucious and thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread!



    Oh - did I mention the sex is AWESOME! Yes, I gave it up on the second date. I hadn't had a partner other than myself and my toys in TWO YEARS. It was worth the wait! I'm a little sceptical of him being so "into me" (pun intended) after such a short time, but if he wants to wine me and dine me and have mind-blowing sex, who am I to argue....think I'll just enjoy it while it lasts!



    Cheers to us!



    p.s. He loves every inch of my body - even my "gnarly girl" as I call her!



    Donna
  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 144
    edited August 2005

    Go Donna!!

  • wilsontp
    wilsontp Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2005
    For those of us who may not be post-menopausal, I thought I just bring up the idea that oil shouldn't be used with condoms. At least, that's what I think I remember. Unless, of course, you are aiming for pregnancy.

    --Theresa
  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 74
    edited March 2008
    donna you're my hero.

    that stress at work is probably a lot easier to deal with when you have something great to look fwrd to afterwards.

    Isn't great sex fantastic?
  • Claiire
    Claiire Member Posts: 60
    edited August 2005
    Whoooohooooooo Donna!!!! YOU GO!!!!

    Mr Perfect Date has had a lot of homework (he is a ph.d student) and we haven't seen eachother since the date, but things may be looking up for this weekend.

    Hell, if not, I have an old friend I may call for a "booty call".

    Sex is weird... if you don't have it for a while, you don't miss it as much as you may think... then when you do have it... you can't seem to do without it!

    Oh, and Donna, I certainly hope you are practicing safe sex!
  • casinogirl
    casinogirl Member Posts: 476
    edited August 2005
    Okay - I confess - the first time, I obviously wasn't *thinking* and we did have unprotected sex. I consider myself a smart girl, and was mortified when I realized right in the middle of things what had happened. We had a long talk about it the next time we saw each other. I said, "I can't BELIEVE I had unprotected sex with you!" He said things happened so quickly between us (it was HMS - hot monkey sex) he didn't think about it either. I swear it was like something out of a movie....more passion than should be allowed to exist...wait - what the hell am I saying???



    Anywho - he assured me he's "safe" and because of his profession (he's an oral surgeon - and trust me, he's GREAT at giving an "oral" exam) he's tested once a year for HIV. Still I insisted that going forward we only have protected sex, and he said if I think a little piece of latex is going to keep him away from me, I have another thing *cuming* LOL!



    He's treating me to yet another fine dining experience tonight, then we're going to his lake house, where he has a giant hot tube that overlooks the lake AND a professional massage table.....OMG! This is the hottest experience of my life, and he says it is for him too. Even if nothing comes of this, it is SO fun right now!!



    Tomorrow, we're going sailing....yesterday he re-scheduled patients so we could spend the afternoon together and we went motorcyling all around the lake for 3 hours....I didn't know I could have THIS much fun!!



    Smiling Donna



    p.s. today I received a dozen red roses at work. The card was simply addressed to "Smokin' Hot Donna". The girl who went to answer the door at the office said the delivery man was an older man, and he said, "do you have someone who works here with THIS name?"
  • Lunalin
    Lunalin Member Posts: 18
    edited August 2005

    In response to 3 strikes. I know just how you feel. Same with me. But , it's not our problem, it's theirs. We are not undesirable, they are just unfeeling. Its OK, i'm over it.

  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 74
    edited March 2008
    I'm so happy for you donna!
    I was looking at the wand tonight on line and all the attachments. Now that I'm a working girl again, I think I'll need a new way to relieve my stress...
    what do u guys think of all the attachments?
  • conniec
    conniec Member Posts: 31
    edited August 2005
    Thank you, sister-friend! We have a store here called COMMOM CROW that sells tons of Burt's Bee's products! Between them and the Health Food Coop, I'm sure we can find this product. Are there any other "flavors" of baby oil that you have tried? heck, I'll experiment.

    Also, again, sorry I don't know the name of it, but I'm going to purchase the much-too-expensive vaginal suppository that lasts for 12 hours and is SUPPOSED to get the vaginal walls remembering what they are doing, WITHOUT hormones. Just probably need to wear a light panty liner the day afterwards, I would think, just in case....

    happy Mojoing!

    hugs and love,

    ConnierC
  • conniec
    conniec Member Posts: 31
    edited August 2005
    Oh, 3STRIKES, I can't believe a man -- any man -- would say "NO" to having sex! I'm so, so sorry, that must have hurt you so terribly much, that insensitive pr--k!

    And, yes, I DO know how much it takes to actually be the party who says, "Hey, wanna go play?" <leer leer>.

    So, I hope that, if you didn't have a TALK with him about this, and how it basically destroyed your self-esteem (as I can only guess), that what DID he want you to do? Just wait until HE was ready for sex and spread your legs cheerfully?

    I can't remember if you'be been "helping him out" with other parts of your body when "he's" in the mood (even if you are not), to keep the intimacy in the relationship...but if you have, that may be another discussion, as well. A gentle discussion, but a discussion.

    My hubby gets 'moody" after a week, and although he literally worked 75 hours this week alone, and STILL has to wake on Sunday to work AGAIN, he was teasing me about coming upstairs with him to "put him to sleep.'

    Sadly, I've got just WAY, WAY, WAY too much on my mind to really be able to cater to him, though I know I will need to,or he, too, will feel as if I'm not paying enough attention to him. Never mind the fact that i'm spending half my time with my dying father who has end-stage lung cancer, and trying to get everything "in order" for when he dies -- such as notifying SS, the Housing Authority, all his money sources, the Insurance Co., cancelling his bills (cable, phone, etc), finding movers for us, transferring the car into my name.....oh, and going to the funeral home, of course, as well as talking with Harvard Medical School for Anatomical Donations.

    Pretty rough stuff to deal with. At least he wrote his own "death notice" and "obit" to be delivered to the local paper.

    MAYBE your DH didn't hear -- REALLY HEAR - what you were saaying? hence his response? I can only hope so, so that you stay out of jail for chemo-induced homocide.....

    Would MUCH RATHER have you emailing us from OUTSIDE prison than inside oone....

    Hoping it was just 'poor communication,"

    HUGS AND KISSES,

    Connie R. C.

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