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  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 144
    edited January 2006
    Barb, I bled for a while after s*x. It improved after time. It is like being a virgin again, over and over and over!
  • sushanna1
    sushanna1 Member Posts: 61
    edited January 2006

    I tried replens, but it gave me a lumpy discharge so I gave it up. I tried to call the company's toll free number, but could not get a live person. Replens users--Is this normal?

  • Pharmmom
    Pharmmom Member Posts: 18
    edited January 2006
    Hi,

    Yes thats what it is like being a virgin every time!! How much fun is that????????

    I did have the discharge with the Replens. My understanding is that it is a shedding of the vaginal lining that is all dried up. Kind of like a snake shedding its skin. As gross as that sounds. Read the insert and it mentions this side affect.

    What I am doing for the "outside" dryness is spreading a little of an estradiol cream (it is compounded at a pharmacy, my doctor came up with this formulation. I'm talking a small amt here. It helped alot.

    I guess we all just have to keep giving each other information and keep trying to find the right combination.

    I don't know about you all but I never thought about this "side affect" at all and it was really not mentioned much to me by any of my doctors.

    Barb
  • CoffeePot
    CoffeePot Member Posts: 1
    edited January 2006

    I have a question...When do good orgasams return? The powerful ones that rock your whole body? I just finished chemo 2 weeks and I was hoping they'd return before I start rads, but they're still so barely there. Is this a problem for anyone else? What is the solution? Will it return?

  • SpanArtist
    SpanArtist Member Posts: 38
    edited January 2006
    OK, everybody, I've got a little news to report. Like so many of us, I'm feeling the diminished orgasms as a result of treatment. I've posted on this thread a number of times previously.

    I called Dr. Joy Browne, a psychologist who has a show about relationships and sex on DiscoveryHealth, but she was no help. And I'm trying to contact Dr. Drew, who has a show on DiscoveryHealth about sex issues...still in the works.

    Maybe you all are familiar with Drs. Berman and Berman (web site is www.NewShe.com). I sent Dr. Jennifer Berman (urologist) an e-mail descibing the problem, and to make a long story short, I'm looking into setting up a phone appt. with her. They usually require $495 worth of lab tests, and the phone consult is $200, but since I'm going through BC w/ no health insurance, Dr. Berman said she'd consider making an exception and letting me forego the labs. Anyway, I'll keep you all posted.

    I'm not giving up!!
    Hugs to all,
    Liza
  • Bancroft
    Bancroft Member Posts: 14
    edited January 2006
    Finished chemo in August and rads in November...just now are we are really back with rock the bed o's!!!
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited January 2006
    Okay, SOMEONE needs to get this thread moving - might as well be me!

    I have found that since BC (I'm now post-menopausal and have a lot less emotions) I am not as emotionally tied to the man I have sex with. I was very much in love with him (read emotional) a year ago when he found my lump and now I'm not. Well, I'm still in love with him but don't pine for him like before. I like him and all but my feelings for him aren't the same. Is this normal? Is it because sex isn't what it used to be? It's still good with him but not as good as it was and I blame my body for that as it's a lot less responsive with him (and with myself, too) than before BC/menopause. I lubricate just fine but everything seemes muted.

    But on an up note, we've 'discovered' a new position that I'd never wanted to try before (go figure?) but that can allow me to come more easily than any other. They all take more time now but this one has worked two out of two times. As I've stated before my young man is 15 years younger than I am and I'm definitely a lot more experienced than he but for some reason it's fun doing 'new' things with him. He's going to allow me to tie him up and I just can't wait! Little does he know that I have some beads on a string in my goody box.....

    Anyway, who else has had sex change for the better or for the worse since BC/chemo? My mojo is not what it used to be!

    Janis L
  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 41
    edited January 2006
    Are you "pining" for anyone else? How long have you been together?

    I'm sure a part of the problem is hormonal but some of it could be just from time with the same guy (especially since you get excited to try new things!)
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited January 2006
    No, KariLynn, I'm sure it's hormones, or lack thereof. I'm less emotional all around not just towards him. What I mean is I feel emotions but not to the extreme that I did before. And I don't want sex like I used. I have desire with him but when he's not around I don't think about it whereas I used to think about it 24/7! I still want him, nobody else, but once or twice a week is okay now and before once or twice a week wasn't enough! Maybe it's just time to focus on something other than sex? Not!

    Janis L
  • Embarrassed
    Embarrassed Member Posts: 3
    edited January 2006
    Ok, After reading this thread for a while, I decided to order a Hitachi Wand with the attachments. UPS delivered it today before I got home from work and my 16 year old opened the box!! Now what do I say to her to explain that mommy had trouble reaching orgasm now and thought this would help. I am totally embarrassed and don't even know where to begin with her. Not even sure she looked at it cause i'm scared to ask. My husband just laughs and is no help. He thought I should have ask her if she opened it and just tell her that should teach her to not open things that weren't addressed to her. I should have told her I was expecting a package and to not open it. Oh well, can't go back now. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

    Thanks,
    Embarrassed

    By the way, I'm so embarrassed that I reregistered under a different name to type this!!!
  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 869
    edited January 2006
    If you truly believe that your 16 y.o doesn't know what it's for, you likely have another think comming ('scuse the pun).
    At her age you should be able to discuss almost anything, and just ask if she opened it. Does she have any questions?
    As I recall the thing looks more like a massager than a "toy", so that will be pretty cool for you. Just say it's a massager.
    I can tell you what my daughter would say --TMI, too much information!!!!
  • Embarrassed
    Embarrassed Member Posts: 3
    edited January 2006
    You are right Dottie, and we did talk to her. Actually, my husband initiated the conversation and TMI is exactly how she felt. Not sure she even totally opened it but pretty sure she knew what it was about.

    I was just totally embarrassed and kept thinking how I would have felt when I was 16. I didn't like the thought that my parents actually did those things - they were much too old for sex. Little did I know!!
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited January 2006
    Haaaaaaaaaaaa! Thanks for the laugh! Is sure is frightening to think/know your parents are having sex, plus using toys??? BTW, does it work?????

    Janis L
  • FitChik
    FitChik Member Posts: 392
    edited January 2006
    Dottie...If it's the real Hitachi, the box only shows people happily massaging their shoulders or whatevers, so you should be safe. If you ordered any attachments like the G-spot one, you're just busted. I would tell my daughter the truth, but you could always mumble something about BC making your vagina too dry and this is a tool to add lubrication. Hey, it's not a lie...

    Glad to see this thread is alive and well. Since I've been 'gone' I've gotten back with my 'bf' after we agreed to 're-define' our relationship and instead of trying to fit the romantic couple mode, we're now 'Friends With Benefits'...not just 'Fuck Buddies' though we discussed that option...the distinction, as we see it, is in the level of respect, caring and types of interaction. As FWBs, we go to dinner, basketball games and just hang out doing stuff together. Just no obligation to play the traditional bf/gf roles. I love it and feel so much freer in my expression with him. But here's the BIG benefit...Whereas before, we had very good sex once (maybe twice) a week, now we're at it like freakin' rabbits! OMG, now THIS is what I had in mind

    Final note, my fellow MojoMamas, I'm about to add some video porn and written erotica to the mix. Sure I've seen and read porn before, but it was always the guy's picks...This time I've chosen and order my own stuff and it's en route. Will keep y'all posted
  • Member_of_the_Club
    Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 263
    edited January 2006

    OK, I've been lurking on this thread but haven't jumped because you ladies make me blush but now I have a question. I ordered some lube from nitetime toys (thanks whoever posted that link) that was supposed to enhance the big O, which hasn't been a problem for me but better is always better. Anyway, hubby and I found it irritating, kind of numbing and tingling but not necessarily in a good way, except that the pay off, well the payoff was fabulous. I'm just wondering if there is such a product that is warming rather than numbing. Any ideas?

  • Embarrassed
    Embarrassed Member Posts: 3
    edited January 2006
    Yes, Marin, it did work! But we found it got in the way and was much too big and heavy for our preference. We've always used a small battery operated one and think we will stick to that for now. Any ideas for a stronger small one? So now we have a good back massager that can double in a pinch for more enjoyable pleasures.

    And yes, I had ordered the attachments with the Wand and the instructions for those was what was sticking up when I opened the box. First thing I saw was the word sex so I'm sure if she opened it (which she will not admit) that is what she saw but oh well, such is life.

    It is/was really funny! Figured people here would get a big laugh. I'm laughing now too!! Thanks for laughing with me.
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited January 2006
    I've tried Zestra and it does work. It's not 'warming' or 'numbing' but something different. I've only used it alone but it does make the Big O feel different. It's all natural (no parabens, etc.) and I can recommend it but it is expensive. It's also very thin and you have to be careful as (for me anyway) a little goes a long way and it's easily wasted if you aren't careful when you open the package.

    And good for you Marin! Have fun watching your videos! Once I told my young man that I didn't want to marry him he seemed to relax some. I still only see him about once a week but that's in part because of our crazy work schedules.

    Have fun ladies!

    Janis L
  • SpanArtist
    SpanArtist Member Posts: 38
    edited January 2006
    Hi Member,

    Have you tried K-Y warming gel? I use it and it's not numbing at all, and you really can feel a warmth.

    Hugs,
    Liza
  • Member_of_the_Club
    Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 263
    edited January 2006

    We didn't get much umph from the k-y warming gel. As I said, we aren't terribly troubled in this area, just ondering if there is some kind of joyride out there worth looking into. And we aren't into gadgets.

  • Claiire
    Claiire Member Posts: 60
    edited January 2006


    Which lube was it you order? I'll have to look when I get home to see which one I have.
  • Pharmmom
    Pharmmom Member Posts: 18
    edited January 2006
    Hi,

    Well we actually had "good sex" this weekend. Can you believe it?!!!! We used the KY Jelly and KY Liquid something or other. I had 2 glasses of wine prior (which helped) and I think I tried to allow myself to "relax" vaginally if you know what I mean. I think on top of being dry I would just tense up thinking it was going to hurt and the bleeding etc. Well with the right lubrication and the relaxation I actually did not bleed and I almost felt like the old me. I am in shock. Never thought that I'd feel like that again. Of course I've been using my vagifem religiously 2x's a week and that has helped.

    Thanks ladies.

    Barb
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited January 2006
    Yea Barb! Here's to good sex! Keep it up (pun intended)!
    I, myself, had some fun last night!

    Janis L
  • Mena
    Mena Member Posts: 263
    edited January 2006
    Hey Barb...congrats on that good sex!
    What exactly is Vagifem? Is it like Replens? Is it safe for er+?

    If anyone is interested, the November/December issue of MAMM Magazine has an article about making love for the first time after a mast. You can probably get it online. If you can't and you'd like to read it, send me a pm with your snail mail addy and I'll send a copy..........xo
  • Pharmmom
    Pharmmom Member Posts: 18
    edited January 2006
    Vagifem is a low dose topical estrogen tablet that you put in with an applicator. I also use a compounded estriol cream on the outside (just a little). I had to because I had major vaginal atrophy and both the onc and the gyno agreed to this type of thing for me. Yes, I am ER positive. I had to make a decision. I could not stand the atrophy. Besides extremely painful sex, I had yeast infections all the time and was so uncomfortable. When I use this product I feel "normal".

    Barb
  • casinogirl
    casinogirl Member Posts: 476
    edited January 2006
    FitChik - glad to hear things are working out with your friend and that you're finally getting the mojo you want and deserve!!

    Okay - I received my *toys* - the Hitachi wand w/ attachments and the Wascally Wabbit. The Wabbit is intense (uses 3 C batteries)but that's how I like it!

    I've played around w/ the wand some, but haven't tried all my attachments yet - so my official report is yet to come.

    Here's to good mojo for all!!

    Donna
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited January 2006
    Donna, you go Girl!!!

    Janis L
  • Mena
    Mena Member Posts: 263
    edited January 2006

    Bumping us up for the weekend....will I ever have sex again? It's looking rather grim....xo

  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited January 2006
    Mena! Of course you'll see (and have!) sex again! I didn't think I would and while it's not every day (more like once a week!) I do get it and you will, too! Do I need to find you a younger man?

    Janis L
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited January 2006
    Okay, am I posting way too much on this thread???

    So, I saw my young man today. It was (is) his birthday. I was working the late shift and he was off (we work at the same store) and I was wasting my morning on the computer when he called and basically I invited himself over. Well, somewhere in our conversation (yes, we do talk just as much if not more than we do the wild thing!) he mentioned that he'd never had sex on his b-day before! Can you imagine?! So, of course, I was more than happy to make him happy! It was hopefully a birthday that he'll remember always!

    Here's wishing good MOJO to all!

    Janis L
  • mmfeelgood
    mmfeelgood Member Posts: 11
    edited January 2006
    Janis...

    I love that you're so open and honest on here about your "young man". I am 58, almost 59, and the best relationship that I ever had in my life was a few years ago with a man who will be 35 this summer. He's no longer in my area or in my life...but , wow...while he was, it was wonderful. And, yes, we spent many hours on end talking about our lives, about us, about the world.
    Tonite I had dinner with a man who is just 13 years younger than me...he's been a great friend through my cancer...I met him about 2 weeks before my dx last January. He is an equal, as far as I'm concerned, and while we are not involved intimately right now, if it ever happened, I would most certainly never throw him out of my bed ;-)

    I used to joke about "getting them young and raising them right" - lol...ohhh...it's time for another, I'm thinking

    Thanks for your great posts...

    Jan

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