I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
Comments
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Ah yes, moving on indeed!
Hey Joel....Why are you taking L-arginine if it supposedly increases one's libido? I thought that your wife was having some issues in that area? If so, wouldn't it be even more difficult for you to forego sex if your libido were actually triggered more? Like maybe she should take it instead of you? Or is there another reason? I don't get it..?
~Marin
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Ok gals, I'm gonna keep trying.
Thanks for the tips.Miss S
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I take a number of suppliments for high cholesterol, niacin, flax seed oil, plant sterols, calcium, low-dose aspirin, fish oil. I thought I'd try it out to see how it works. It does increase circulation in my extremeties. I can't tell that it does anything for libido though. I could see that if you had some physiological issues with ED it might be useful.
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OK, I get it, Joel, and that makes sense since L-arginine works by increasing blood flow. How is your wife doing, btw?
And MissShapen...It's good to hear that you're gonna keep trying. It will just be a matter of time before you begin to carve out your own way!
Looking forward to the weekend, y'all, and getting together with New Man (if he can find a babysitter)....This will only be our 'second time' and I'm so excited!
~Marin
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VIAGRA?
Ladies, I need your input and expertise. I am 2 yrs. post treatment (bi-lat, hysterectomy, rads, recon, er+, currently taking femara and actonel). I have ZERO sex drive, I'm 45 years old, I have a very understanding hubby.
It's very painful to have intercourse now, I've tried all lubes, dildos, etc. Estrogen creams and any estrogen product is not an option for me.
The other day my husband asked if I could take Viagra -- I am completely ignorant here... any answers or experts out there?
Thanks!
Rachel
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Well, Rachel, it just so happens that I heard a story from a friend the other day about her and her partner both taking Viagra just to see what it would do (she is gay, so her partner is also female). According to S., they were both so wildly horny, within about a half-hour, that they didn't even wait to get home but, instead, had sex in their car in a parking lot!! She also reported, though, that it definitely affected their perceptions and moods, almost like a hallucinogen. For that reason, I'd be careful if I were you and maybe see about taking a smallish dose, if you take it at all. And Viagra can have some serious side effects on your health otherwise as well, so it would be most adviseable to talk to your PCP or GYN about taking it. At least that's what I would do (well, maybe.....
).~Marin
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Thanks, Marin.
I'll definitely discuss it with my gyn/onc next time I see her. And I'll look into side effects as well.
If anyone else has any input re viagra... bring it on!
thanks
Rachel
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OK, this is kinda weird, but I just got an email from yet another friend who took Viagra last night and she said that it was amazing and very definitely made her wild with desire! Makes me question exactly WHY this drug is only recommended for men by the medical community?
On the same note, I promised to find the name of that up & coming drug intended to treat low libido in females (BTW, did you know that the medical term is Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, or HSDD....doesn't thaat make you feel better about it?). So the drug is called Flibanserin and it was developed in Germany. Unfortunately, it's still in trials, but the article I read said that it could be FDA-approved by 2009. Keep your....um, fingers...crossed, chicas. There's hope!
And on a personal note, I must report a hugely budding hot relationship with New Man. Listen, y'all, he is 59 freakin' old
and very, very, very horny. He gives me what my gf so delicately calls 'fire-in-the-crotch' and I'm sooooooooooooo lovin' it! It seems that I've been scouting the wrong age group, so no more cradle-robbing for me. At least for now.......
~Marin
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Good for you Marin!
I'm sticking with the young ones myself as the 'older' (my age and up) ones seem so desperate! Maybe they try harder though?
Most nights I'd just rather stay home with my baby girl anyway...
(p.s. I'm definitely interested in anything that could bring my lost libido back!)
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OK, chicas, here is a question that I'm pondering....how many of you are having G-spot orgasms? If you are, do they come from direct stimulation of the G-spot or do they just 'happen'? I get nowhere from focusing on the spot, but believe I'm having them because my O's fall into 2 fairly distinct categories, one being huge and affecting nearly my whole body and that's the way G-spot O's are often described. I guess I really shouldn't care and just be grateful to be having them, but I'm curious and wonder if I'm doing something different from the regular G-spot O-ers? Any input or advice?
~Marin
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Huh. No, no G-spot o's for me. I find 'stimulation' to that 'spot' irritating. I do have mini o's from intercourse but they're like a hiccup compared to the one and only explosive one I get from direct clitoral stimulation. Oh, and I do get the mini o's from manual stimulation also so I guess I get nothing from my g-spot? Sorry - I guess no real help or advice from me!?
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Hello chicas! Hope that everyone is mojo-ing away out there!!!!
So here's what I can report.....I have finally come to discover, for the first time in my life, what some of you have meant when you've claimed that sex with a lover is a completely different and very powerful & profound experience from sex for its own sake with someone you aren't in love with. That is, I have only just experienced what "making love" means. And to say that it's amazing is an understatement...I have no words (and that's a real first!!!
). Seriously, y'all, I thought that you were all delusional and living with your heads in the clouds. If you are, I'm glad to say that I've now joined you!~Marin
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I want to chime in here with the Viagra....
No, I don't take it
but my DH needs to take it to sustain (what a delicate word..*grin) an erection.
It is not an aphrodisiac at all, he acts no different, he hates to take it (thinks he's going to die :-) because of possible side effects.
If it was at all stimulating, I'd put it in his coffee every day :-))
So if someone is horny, it might be the thought of the "possible stimulating effect" i.e. placebo effect not knowing enough about how the drug works.....I am guessing here.....like a "good" movie, that puts you in the mood.
I'd be careful though and definitely talk it through with my doctor.
PS. I am lurking here frequently lol
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Woo hoo, Marin! I just love what you are experiencing right now-everything so exciting and new.
About the g-spot. My dh just recently discovered a position that is mind-shattering for my g-spot, but it takes a lot of acrobatics. If you want me to go into detail, I can!
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Oh, Deb, I'd appreciate your instruction although I probably won't be dictating any directions at this point in the relationship but, rather, will check it out on my own (
). PM me if you feel more comfortable, but I'll bet both our posters as well as lurkers would appreciate your tips! As it happens though, New Man is quite the catch in the oral department and THAT makes any guy a keeper, huh? And actually I was discussing this a friend of mine who is married to a 65-yr old man (she's 44). I have been so surprised that the 'older' men seem to be especially talented in that area (oral) and much more into doing a thorough job than the younger ones (younger than 40, in my experience). She confirmed that this is her experience as well and that her husband is very talented. I must say that I find this astounding and would have guessed the opposite due to early upbringing and various taboos back in the day. I'm wondering if anyone else has had the opportunity to explore this phenomenon (or wish that they could )??~Marin
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Marin, I believe the 'oral talent' is individual. My HS b/f was great and we were teenagers so go figure. As I got older I dated older men and some were good and some (many!
) weren't. As I date younger men now I find that they aren't all that great either but I think it's an individual thing. Maybe it's that 'older' men just know how to make love better??? Glad you're having a great time!0 -
Ok, so the position that works for the g-spot heaven is.......
I position my head against the headboard for support while laying on my back. I raise my pelvis while lifting both my legs straight in the air, and dh enters me from a raised kneeling position.
Each thrust is like a direct hit to the g-spot, but the position is exhausting to say the least. If I get tired and let my legs and pelvis lower, it just doesn't do a thing but make my feet fall asleep!Mmm....dh is quite the guy when it comes to oral, too. I was "squeamish" about trying it with him at first, because ALL my experiences prior to this have just been SAD to say the least. The first time he did, WHOA. He was "older" than the other men I had been with prior to this, though under 40.
The way my dh has been during this horrible time of my Dad's death (see other threads) has made me absolutely hunger for him. Does that make sense? I love my husband and always have, but my gosh, the way he has just swooped in and REALLY taken care of me has just got me weak in the knees. What a man.
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Deb, that sounds wonderful...oh, I mean the way he's been taking care of you and how responsive you feel towards him, but of course the position and his oral expertise sound great too!
I have a question about this position....how do you keep your pelvis raised with your legs going straight up? Do you support your lower back with your hands or what? I mean I have iron abs, but that would take abs of titanium to sustain without some additional support!
~Marin
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Marin-yep, I do support my back with my hands, and a pillow wadded up below me. DH also uses his hands to help me maintain that level. Like I said, it is exhausting, but fantastic results.
And about the taking care of me thing....I came home tonight from an entire day of "Dad's estate" business, and I see Greg on the couch folding a load of whites and calling to the bathroom where Daniel is on the potty getting ready for bed. Again, WHAT A MAN!
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"And about the taking care of me thing....I came home tonight from an entire day of "Dad's estate" business, and I see Greg on the couch folding a load of whites and calling to the bathroom where Daniel is on the potty getting ready for bed. Again, WHAT A MAN!"
I never knew folding clothes could elicit such a reaction. I do this every day and get the kids to bed etc. It's never been treated as that big a deal. It's just doing what you have to do to make the home function. I don't get it.
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Oh, I'm not gonna touch THAT! If my husb didn't do his 'fair share' around the house we'd be divorced. Wait - I AM divorced!
I guess that's why I'm single, my expectations of men are too high (thus my taking advantage of younger men!) 0 -
joel- I have been lurking here for quite a while, but just HAD to respond you on this last comment. Had i come home from work to see my ex husband folding clothes, I would have called 911 because either he was very ill or i would be having a stroke! I actually had to show him how to write checks after the divorce and took him to the grocery store. He had not been inside one for 15-20 years.
My darling hubby now does it all! Cooks better than me! We each have our good/bad qualities. The ex was an excellent provider and wonderful father....personality of a toad. I far prefer my prince that treats me like a queen on a far smaller budget! He was dx with non-hodgkins lymphoma 6 yrs ago and is in remission, forced to disability retire from policework. I took care of him, he is now taking excellent care of me, I just did my 2nd tx of tch today.
It is amazing how sex is all in the head! When I come home tired from a hard day at work and the house is clean, dinner is ready, and a glass of wine was chilled waiting for me...I bounced back much quicker than when I had to make dinner, feed my 3 kids, do laundry, and then clean the kitchen before bed.
I love all the groups posts and agree, this should be a book! Whomever should then donate most of the proceeds to the org for support!
Cheryl
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Joel,
Sorry, I should elaborate a bit. I, as the stay at home mommy, and a bit of a micro-manager/control freak, prefer our house to remain under my control.
With my Dad's passing, I haven't even been able to give the housework a second thought. I have been forced to give up the control (once again, just like when I was diagnosed with cancer).My dh DOES do all of those things, and I am always sure to thank him for doing his fair share. However, when I came home that night, after having been gone for the entire day doing estate stuff, it was the greatest thing to see that he was sure to take care of things on the homefront. I knew it would be ok here at home because even though I like things to be done my way, he knew I needed him to take care of things.
It also goes the same for his swooping in and taking such good care of me. He is a SAINT, and has taken care of me the moment I met him. However, when you lose a loved one the way we lost my Dad (fast, unexpected, nearly violent, a manner that tried to take his dignity), it paralyzes you. At least it paralyzed me. I lost all control again, and remember (as I will for the rest of my earthly life) very vividly the way that my husband sensed that, and jumped in, taking the reigns. He is the one who finally got my Dad to go to the hospital, he was the one who made sure I had water with me so I could fight the dry mouth I get from nerves as I read the eulogy, he is the one who sat by me at the service as I clung to his hand with all my might.Yes, Greg has been an amazing partner, but as we go through each tragedy that life has granted us, we grow closer and closer, and I fall more and more in love with him. I know that there are many husbands out there that do those things on a daily basis, but I also know that there are many husbands who can't quite handle that when a tragedy is thrown your way.
Joel, it is so obvious that you are one of the "good ones," because of your membership here. You are a hubby that can remain loving and stable when things get hard (like with cancer).
So, I hope that clarifies it. It is just an enormous comfort to know that when life turns completely upside and inside-out, your other half is there at home folding the laundry and asking your 3 year old son if he is done making pee-pees.Love and prayers, Deb
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Awwww, Deb, it's so cool to hear how in love with your husband you are!
I do have something to add about Joel's comment. Since you, Joel, are obviously, an exceptional husband & lover and it seems that your wife knows that and values you for it, it might indeed surprise you that you're not at all "typical," just as Deb's Greg isn't. It seem to me that not only is it important for a man to do his share (and more when his partner has special needs), but that he is made to feel valuable for doing so. Without that, he may just conclude that what he contributes is unimportant and therefore, why should he bother. I guess it's all about being true partners for one another.
~Marin
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MOJO I just want to wake up and feel some real energy and look outside and feel like going out. When does that come back? I'm just so tired of being tired and limiting even housework. The man I just dropped from my life when cancer showed up, showed up at my house at 3:30 a.m. and my sister was here and she felt sorry for him and thought him sweet. Well he is sweet, but I didn't want to worry about MOJO or a man and his problems and that's awfully selfish of me but even then I was so tired from being misdiagnosed for so long. I just want to wake up and really feel the world when does that start really.
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Pearl...I see that you were only diagnosed less than 6 months ago, so I assume that you've been undergoing treatment all of these months. My goodness, girl, give yourself a break!! It took me at least a few months after treatment ended to start feeling anything even resembling my old self and some women take alot longer than that. You've been through hell and back, so please try to be gentle with yourself. Once you get back into a semblance of a "normal" routine, you'll find more energy and then you can worry about the man and gettin' you some mojo goin' on. One step at a time, huh?
~Marin
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Thanks for the kind words guys but I'm really quite average at best. You ladies really inspire me and keep me motivated. I appreciate your honesty and transparency more than you know.
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Thank you Fitchik: I was really feeling dicouraged. My brain forgets things now I think I'm getting kidney infection and that hurts and my sister is having a birthday party for me tonight and I have to travel 2 hours to get there and I's so tired. She is my rock and means well but I feel so sick and she just doesn't get it I think she thinks last chemo should be okay, but it's not working that way yet. It's awful having someone throw a party for you and your so tired that you don't look forward to anything but the day being over so I can sleep. It makes me feel quilty, even though I know I shouldn't feel guilty. My sister has driven here and gone through each treatment and scare with me she's done so much, so on with the party dress and I hope I stay awake for my own party.
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Small note on the g-spot position.....
If you try this method, careful not to raise your legs too high, or, um, the wrong area/entry can be, um, visited. As you can tell by my blushing face, I am now speaking from very recent experience!!!
At least this is good for a laugh. Another good laugh during mojo-ing is when your cat begins to throw up furballs next to the bed. Again, very recent experience.......(both last night).
Joel, I hope I explained my current gushing feelings for my hubby well. It is just always good to know what a good catch you have in your spouse.
Love and prayers, Deb0 -
Deb, you're hilarious, but I know exactly what you're talking about! It actually happened to me once during doggie style and I thought my guy was gonna faint. He kept apologizing over & over. I was like "whatever." The furballs I haven't encountered yet, but have noted an intently studied look on one of my cat's faces when I happened to glance at her perched on my bureau....maybe she was mourning the loss of her mojo after being spayed! Awwwww.....
Joel, I dare say that, in my experience (which is vast, of course
), you are anything but typical! Your wife is one lucky woman!~Marin
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