I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
Comments
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Marin, the mention of the cat eyeing you while perched on the bureau cracked me up, because dh and I often say that while my kitty does that, she is saying, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY MOMMY?!?!"
Also agree with Marin, Joel. You being here, and offering/asking insight shows that you do the atypical things, too.
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.....talking of which.....do you guys enjoy 'the other entry'? What are your views on this kind of penetration? I know that men love it, but I'm not so keen.......
Blushing now......
BTW - we always say my cat is a voyeur....he has been known to sit on the garden table and look in through the window at us!
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Oh Sam, I HATE it and think its way weird! There's just too much "other" activity that goes on there, so why use it for such an alternative use? I think that some guys like it because it's tighter.....sooooooooo, the best solution for that is plenty of regular, rigorous Kegels! Do them while you're in line at the grocery store, sitting in church, watching TV and definitely while having sex (the gripping action feels amazing, I'm told!). Otherwise, if I meet a guy who prefers the "other" back door, I tell him to find himself a twink
....that usually takes care of the issue!~Marin
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errr.....Marin...what's a twink? (I'm in the UK don't forget, so maybe this is an expression peculiar to the US).
'Back door' sex seems to be more and more common these days. I am told it is exciting because it is somehow 'forbidden'. Well I don't get much from it, I can tell you.
Sam
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Eeeek! I don't enjoy that area of entry at all. Just not pleasurable for me!
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Sam52, "twink" is short slang for "twinkle toes" which was slang for gay men way back in the 1960's/1970's. At least that's what I think Marin was refering to!
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rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHA!!!! I totally thought "twink" referred to a twinkie! No joke!
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A twink is a youngish gay boy, also sometimes called a 'boi' but they're more flaming. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twink_(gay_slang) See....I didn't spend all these years in figure skating for nuthin'!
And from my twinkle-toed friends, I've learned that anyone can adjust to (and enjoy?) rear entry with the right technique and lube. A really slicked-up condom is the best way to get started or even using the condom on 2 or 3 fingers. And yes, Sam, it's definitely more popular now than even a few years ago. Just glancing over the array of toys and special lubes on websites shows that the interest is growing. It doesn't bother me in the least as long as I don't need to go there!
In other news, my New Man seems to have disappeared (in online dating circles, this is called "ghosting"). We spent last weekend together and had a great time (well, at least I did and he sure seemed to, especially when he was drooling over my body and biting, licking and sucking every part of it!). Then he emailed a few times last week about how insanely busy things were with work and his son. And then the emails totally ended.
I was astounded and, finally, wrote to him on Saturday and asked him if he'd changed his mind about us and, if so, could he at least give me the courtesy of a reply (it was really written nicer than that, but the message was that). Nothing. Here's my conclusion: MEN ARE F**KING INSANE!!! 
But I just adore them....and so I've accepted a date from another interesting guy on my fitness website. Of course, he sounds too good to be true, with a great job, a fabulous body, an interest in the arts and a claim to be very passionate (code word for horny?). We'll see....after all, I'm just a girl and, as we all know, girls just wanna have fun!!!!!
I don't mean to sound unfeeling or flip and, of course, my feelings were hurt when New Man ghosted, but I seem to be very okay with seeing it with a sense of humor and an attitude of "whatever" and, ya know, I think that I have my BC experience to thank for that....life is suddenly just too short to waste on a$$holes,
so...."NEXT"!!!!
~Marin
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(((Marin)))
You go get yourself another man - now!
WTF? Yes, he's insane to let you go!That's why I don't give my heart away anymore and only have casual encounters. I've had enough of assholes myself (no reference to the above 'back door' hole).
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Marin....Sorry your man turned into a ghost - yes they sure are insane (and b******s some of them too). Have you noticed how a man can go from one relationship seamlessly to the next? Sometimes thay even have one waiting in the wings so they don't have any time on their own at all.Obviously they don't often have our (female) depth of emotion.Or decency.
Ha ha - 'twinkle toes' is now obvious; funnily enough, just after you wrote that, I came across a poster on these boards going by the name of 'twink'......????
Though I don't enjoy 'back door sex', I have learnt to get something from it...even sometimes a tiny O.But on the whole (oops!), I wouldn't complain if I never did it again.
Sure hope you have fun with your new date,Marin!
Sam
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Oh Marin, that sucks. That totally sucks! I'm glad you are movin' on!
Deb0 -
OK, chicas, it's time for composing that list to Santa! Here are some wild and crazy ideas:
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/article_sex_make_your_own_dildo.htm
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/lina-berman-pen.htm
http://bigteazetoys.com/content/view/22/68/lang,/
http://www.mypleasure.com/Sex-Toy-Pink-Bound-Leather-Kit.asp?dept_id=200
http://www.bootyparlor.com/adult-books/bedtime-stories.html
and for those special getaways....
http://store.babeland.com/hot-gift-sets/sexy-getaway-kit
What's on YOUR list???
~Marin
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All I want for x-mas is a lover who won't drive me crazy!
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Hell, I'm already crazy. Just send the lover!
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Oh my goodness, whenever I get depressed with life, I come to this thread!
You delightful women (and Joel) are hysterical (and I might add, very informative) and I KNOW it would be completely illegal and wrong to put all this in a book, but it does seem like a terrible waste of such vast and ahem, deep, information to let this thread just disappear.
Ah well, Shirlann0 -
I'm getting the hang of the mighty Magic Wand. I'm not totally comfortable with it yet, but I think it's a reachable goal. Definitely electrifying!
Thanks for the recommendation and the tips, too!
Marin, I like your list... heh.
All I want for Christmas is a clear PET scan!
Miss S
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I hear ya, Miss S....clear scans are the BEST gifts of all! I'm wishing that a crystal clear one will be yours this Christmas!
I'm glad to hear thaat you're enjoying our friend, BOB (though the Wand is electrically-powered, isn't it?)!
~Marin
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We just got back from a weekend away, and had the most excellent sex ever. We had a "date" to go to Greg's company holiday party, and were all dressed up, and were flirty with each other all night.
We even sang "Summer Lovin'" karaoke in front of everyone. We had the best time. We slow danced 3 songs in a row and I whispered naughties to him the entire time.
We escaped (despite the fact we were having a blast) to the hotel and had the best sex ever.WHEW, was that drive in a snow storm worth it!
Deb0 -
Yea Deb! Enjoy your body, your husb's body - hell, enjoy your life!
Marin, you sure do find the best sites!
Lately I haven't used any of my vibrators, just my computer for some porn sites!
I have met a nice man, though, and next time will be 'date' #3 and we all know what happens after date #3! 0 -
Deb...I swear that the resurgence of your love/sex life after BC can be a real inspiration to all who come to this site looking for answers! Rock on, girl!!!!
And Jaybird, I'm so glad to hear that you've got yourself a new prospect! I'm inclined to take a sabbatical after meeting all of my recent losers, but just might be encouraged by your experiences to give it another try. Did you meet "Date #3" online?
~Marin
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Marin, I meet all my "dates" on-line!
I'm still on one of the sites recommended to me by???? (surprisingly not you, or at least I don't think it was you?)Many guys I meet I'm either really not interested in getting naked with or they get upset with me and don't call me again when I don't get naked with them immediately. Whatever. I just line up dates, get Mom to babysit, and try to have a good time! This most recent one I wasn't initially attracted to (or at least I didn't think I was!) but after cuddling on his sofa and some smooching I decided that it was only a matter of time before you-know-what happens and he seems to be on the same page as me.
There's another guy I see occasionally, who has a most excellent body (like, perfect!), but who plays games and I'm not into that anymore. If he wants to see me and I'm free we'll get together but if I ask to see him he always ignores me. Now he's last on my list and probably off the list altogether!
(his loss for sure!)So get out there, Girl, and use some men for a while!
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I just realized what sluts we all are!
Dancing with NED,
Having sex with BOB
What's next? Or should I say, who's next???
(Since my Bob's away I've gotta get me a BOB.)
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Ok, so how do you guys feel about dirty talk?
There was a time when I just didn't care for it at all, and felt like an idiot trying to talk dirty to my hubby.
However, since my life with cancer and life without boobs, I have learned to be more creative in bed.
We really make use of dirty talk, and I have to say, it enhances our intimacy like never before. I should say, it isn't so much "dirty" (although we certainly throw in a few things to make someone blush), but it is very descriptive and makes me fully aware of every sensation.Thoughts?
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FWIW, here's my take on talking nasty....I LOVE IT! Before I engaged in such verbal behavior, the thought of it embarrassed me (just like so, so many new behaviors I've discovered since becoming single again) because I imagined using words that made me feel silly or crass. But when my first 'boyfriend' (i.e., F.B.) after my divorce started emailing the details of all of the delicious things he wanted to do to me and I began to reciprocate, I started to realize that I could use the words that I liked and that excited me and, well, it started to excite me! I was able to move from the written word to the in-person, verbal thing without too much awkwardness (a little though) and, today, find that it depends upon the guy. I need to feel completely self-assured in the relationship, whatever it consists of, and HE needs to be comfortable with talking and hearing "dirty" sweet nothings. Some guys, I have found, are very hung-up and freak out when I even speak at all while we're doing the deed! Go figure. I sometimes think that the age-old axiom that women are the weaker sex when it comes to sexual inhibitions and hang-ups is alot of BS...there are an awful lot of guys out there who need to be liberated.........and I'm just the femme to do it too
!!!~Marin
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Huh. Some guys I've been with liked to talk dirty and some didn't. I kind of go with the flow.....
I will admit, though, that it can be extra stimulating! If I 'initiate' the talk and they don't respond then I just shut up!
My new man and I have clicked so far (yep, the third 'date' happened!) and he seems the type to be open to anything that I want! 0 -
Sounds good, Jaybird! I hope he sticks around and gives you plenty of what you want
! Here's a dating question for you though....what means do you usually use to ensure that you remain safe with new guys? I mean, do you invite them home or go to theirs? Do you tell a friend to call and check on you? And as for the "other" kind of safety, how do you make sure they've really been tested? I was stupid, I guess, believing my last guy when he said he's tested regularly and, besides, hadn't been with a woman in awhile. I never found out differently, but since he turned out to be a liar, in general, who knows. So now I need to wait 3 months and get myself tested. Never again. As my gf says, "no condom, no p*$$y"....she's very blunt....but wise!~Marin
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Marin, I say, "no tickie, no washie" - remember that saying???
Yes, condoms are a drag but even if a guy says he gets tested regularly what does that mean, once a year? I get tested once a year by my G.P. when I get all my other bloodwork done - is that ofthen enough? Who knows, but unless I'm with someone for many months (which hasn't happened for a while) they MUST wear a condom. I've never used a dental damn so no advice there.....
Safety is a big issue for me being a new mom (insert BIG smile here!) so no one comes over to my house. Before that I did let a few young guys come over but that was because they still lived at home!
The first meeting is at a bar or restaurant. If they're not willing to feed me then they usually don't get to meet me but I have made exceptions. If they're evasive about 'who' they are, where they work or don't speak about friends or family (basically if they're very secretive) I generally won't meet them. I try to trust my instinct. I'm actually very cautious but don't have anyone 'check' on me.
That's all I can think of right now - happy dating!
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Thanks, Jaybird! I'm not sure how I'll proceed at this point and have thought of taking a break from men altogether, at least in my crazier moments (that's way too drastic, doncha think?
). The last time I was tested was at my last chemo (yes, the nurses were astounded) because I stayed with the guy I was seeing then for 2 more years. Guess it's back to more blood draws...Also, I think that my instinct is broken. I tend to trust everyone and, inevitably, am proven wrong. Maybe I'll stick to back seats (in well-lit parking lots??
)! Sigh......~Marin
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I don't know, Marin. Take a break if you need to re-group but don't let a jerk (or two) dictate your life!
The guys I meet don't have a problem wearing a condom (again, they're a drag but necessary IMO) and the few who have tried to talk me into having sex without one because there wasn't one didn't succeed. I have found that they cause dryness, though, so I always have some lube available. There does seem to be less intimacy when using them (nothing beats skin-on-skin) but after surviving BC (so far anyway) I won't risk getting a STD from some guy who is not a long-term partner. Just some thoughts.....
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