I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
Comments
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Jaybird...Have you tried the condoms that already have lube on them? In fact, they have the warming lube on one brand...I think it's Trojan's Her Pleasure or something like that. And before my 2-year relationship, I always carried 2 packaged condoms in my bag...just in case. Guess I'll renew that habit now!
~Marin
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Marin, I don't usually have a problem (no lube needed) unless he's ***ahem*** on the larger size or if he's an energizer bunny (going...and going...and going...)! Also, I have found that I hate the ribbed ones - felt like it was sandpaper - yeowch!
My new man is working out fine and I have to say he just might be the best at oral that I've ever had! Can I write about that here?????
I asked him how he learned it and he said that he reads! Like duh - most men think what they see in pornos is what they're supposed to do! Sorry to digress. So I told him he should write a book and he said, "no way!" Guess I'll continue to see him! 
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Oh Jaybird, I'm jealous! My last psycho was great at oral too....just not oral communication! Oh well, I'm finding that there aren't too many men who are actually bad at it or at least very eager to learn! All one needs to say to the porn students is (scoffingly)..."ha, that is SOOOO not how to make a woman come!" Their little ears just perk right up and you become the tutor!
And my goodness, if we could discuss anal sex a few pages back, we can certainly reiterate our preferences for oral, huh?!
Ugh....I need to find a new "student"....and sooner rather than later!
~Marin
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You go get 'em grrrl!
I wish I had the time to have all the men that I could!
Too bad I'm either too tired (from work and baby Avery) or too busy (with house/Avery/family stuff). UGH!
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Hey my chicas...check out this website: http://pureromance.com/sss/OurStory.aspx Pure Romance is a sex products company that hosts parties and sells online as well. One part of their mission is to inform BC survivors about methods that can be employed to promote sexual health and well, get your MOJO back! They call this mission SSS - Sensuality, Sexuality and Survival. If any of you belongs to a support group that you think might be interested in one of their parties, maybe you can host one? And invite me
! Even if you don't have a party or purchase anything, the website is worth exploring...enjoy!~Marin
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Marin, you are such a good reference for these things! Love the website!
PS-I need some guidance on emotional eating!!!! After my Dad dying, I have been doing my old "I need to eat my emotions before my emotions eat me" habits. If I keep this up I will hit the old 250 pound mark I was once at years ago. 13 years ago, actually....when my mom died from Leukemia......
Hmmm-I should try the sex diet. Dorothy from Golden Girls tried it with Stan and gained something like 18 pounds, but perhaps Greg and I will have success!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh!
I wanted to ask you mojo-ers about your favorite position. How 'bout your favorite and your significant's favorite? I know ours are two drastically different ones.....I'm partial to that one where I have to hold my butt up in the air, dh's favorite is reverse cowgirl.
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OMG, Deb, did you really explore that site? They sell things I've never even thought of, like this wrap-around lip simulator for male masturbation, balls of every sort to insert everywhere imaginable, and flavored lubes (mmmm, cinnamon or peppermint, just in time for the holidays!) that also have that throat-numbing stuff you were talking about that enables better BJs. Geez!
As an aside, my advice on the eating is to just be very conscious and mindful of every step of the eating process as you do it....texture, taste, feelings of filling up. As you become more practiced in mindfulness around your eating, you'll probably discover on your own your internal answer. You'll instinctively realize that though you may be able to numb your emotions with excessive comfort foods or just volume, they just come back and require more numbing. This is not at all unlike any other mind-and-feelings-numbing substance like alcohol or drugs but is, rather, legal & acceptable as well as less obviously harmful. Anyway, you might also find satisfaction in food as a sensual stimulant and rely on it less as a general fix for what ails ya. Or not, in which case you'll just have to suck it up and keep your jaw closed! Or just take up crack cocaine...that'll numb ya alright!
Ah, favorite positions....back in the day, I'd have said doggie-style, the overall favorite of almost every man I've encountered. I just love the wanton feel of it! But now I'd say that I prefer missionary style
, but done in a specific way. That is, my ex-bf used to lay on top and scoop his huge hands under my butt and around my hips, squeeze me all in (my legs would be straight and close around him while he's in me) and raise me up into him...then push mightily. Is that clear? Anyway, I adore this position since it stimulates every possible surface and internal area that possesses nerve endings, especially the clitoris! And it feel so engulfing and passionate too!I'll tell ya, chicas, I totally need a man! I love my Wand, but there's just nuthin' like the real thing (baby)! I've even gotten into a cybersex correspondence with some guy from an iVillage message board. It's exciting but I need to touch some flesh, ya know
?!Ugh.
~Marin
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Totally clear marin!
My fave, by far, would be missionary - because I'm lazy!
No, really, it's my fave, then doggie style. I've only had a few that felt good with me on top and those guys were on the smaller size.
I'm still exploring the new guy.....
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Writing from Brazil because I have to tell you - when I was in NYC wandering around waiting to go to bed to get up at 3 to get to my flight I wandered to Babeland! I saw the sign and said, Ì know that...what is it? And then I remembered! It´s a great place with so much stuff - and really cool stuff. There were these vibrators with 8 different vibrations - totally strong and little (one was a ball about the size of a basebal....). Anyway, I got a little kit with a teeny vibrator, some massage oil, lickable oil, a massage candle and condoms - gave the condoms to my friend in NY and he was grateful for the gift. If you get a chance to go to one of their stores go!
Brazil is beautiful. My American version of a little bikini is like a swim suit from the 20´s here! Glad I did tanning before I left.
Tchau
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Oh Jorf, it's great to hear that you're enjoying your adventures! THe little kit from Babeland sounds adorable...and excellent for travel!
Please take pics since I'm sure that Brazil is gorgeous! I'd love to see a pic of those teeny bikinis too...better yet, maybe you can bring one back for me?!
ENJOY!!!!
~Marin
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Just some holiday apparel ideas, my chicas....Santa, Baby!!!
http://justbare.com/shop/index.php?pg=1&l=product_list&c=25
~Marin
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Great stuff!
If the New Man wants me to wear them, though, HE has to buy them! BTW, the New Man and I had another wonderful time Sunday night. He's a good cook (got the recipe from Men's Health!) and a great lover. I really need to keep him around for a while.....
Jaybird
(who is way over deserving of a good man!)
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Oh, Jaybird, you really are so very deserving of such a guy! And a cook, a lover and a reader of Men's Health....sounds like all the right ingredients! Enjoy, giiiiiiiiirl!!!
~Marin
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ok so need advice and i dont really feel like going back to reading the first 55 pages of this thread
i have a great guy and we have great sex he is a wonderful lover but i used to be able to have an orgasm so so easily before my bc and of course my dbl mast (my breasts were a big part of my reaching it)no it is much more difficult
i am sure you girls have plenty suggestions and i am all ears
i have read a little about the wand you refer to above maybe introducing that into our sex play would help
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Hey jdash,
I had a bilateral mastectomy June 15th of 2006. My breasts were also a huge part of our intimacy (no pun intended regarding my former DD's).
Since then, I have struggled and we have experimented with several different things. It is hard after a bilateral, because your loved one doesn't quite understand the difference in sensation or lack thereof. My dh oftentimes still goes to my breasts, and at first I would cringe because I hated the feeling. Now, over a year later, I have discovered that there are still some sensitive SPOTS on my breasts (the upper region, the bottom region of both is totally numb).
I'm sure that your guy is probably not against trying new stuff. We have learned to be so much more creative than we were before. I now can admit that we were in somewhat of a routine when it came to intimacy.
Now, we can't do that. It's just as different for the guy now, so both of you have to be flexible (again, no pun intended).We have done LOTS of new positions (I give an A+++++ to the one where I am holding my butt up and my legs are straight in the air against his shoulders. Tiring as heck, but WHOA for the gspot stimulation).
We have tried new products. I like the Shunga line-there is a "Magic Jar" of desensitizer to help with oral (avoids the gag reflex). I like their massage oils and kissable powders (tastes like candy cigarrettes).
We have tried costumes. I admit I feel like a fool at times with a black boa on and I have bed head and my glasses on. However, that adds a great deal of excitement.
My absolute favorite thing that has helped enhace lovemaking?? We TALK. We do "dirty talk," which is really effective when timed right. My dh also kind of "narrates" what he is doing to me, and observes what I seem to be feeling. He also tells me what he feels. It truly makes me more aware, and has really helped me learn to enjoy intimacy once again.
I hope this helps. Be patient-I know this is a frustrating area when you are in recovery from so much other crap.
Love and prayers, Deb0 -
thanks deb
i do have an extensive line of sexy lingerie and we do have great fore play and that all is great but its more about the less sensitivity i have that i am concerned about- i guess i was lucky before bc and i was able to orgasm from intercourse wish i know now not everybody can do but i guess from the combination of no breast feeling -to going thru menopause its just so different i guess i will just have to keep experimenting and finding new ways or new 'spots'
love and prayers to u too ! happy holidays
julia
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Julia....Maybe you should work on achieving a clitoral orgasm easily first and then move onto the g-spot/intercourse O? The Hitachi Magic Wand is extremely powerful (and large & not exactly quiet) and could probably bring you there within minutes. I seriously cannot imagine any woman with a clitoris NOT having an orgasm with it! So yeah, maybe you can add that to your repertoire. But you can also try a smaller vibrator and maybe would like to try one of those condoms or cock rings with the little bullet vibe attached. That way, you can achieve an orgasm during intercourse with only a little extra help.
My other off-the-top-of-my-head suggestion is to get more creative with oral sex and have your guy use flavored lube and try using a variety of pressures and things with his lips, tongue and even a tiny bit of teeth (gently!). He can hum and nibble and lick and use his fingers in you at the same time. Experiement with this to see what drives you wild!
I like Deb's suggestion to check out your responsiveness to sensitive areas around where your breasts were....your chest and maybe even your upper ribs, like under your arms and around onto your back. Geez, just writing that sounds sensual to me!
Finally, Julia, definitely check out the toy websites like the ones I mention above www.PureRomance.com and www.babeland.com
Maybe order a fun kit and try some stuff you've never tried before. And, if you don't object to it, check out some of the more female-oriented porn (has a storyline and isn't super hardcore). You can get some good deals on DVDs through these sites. I find porn very stimulating, so maybe you will too!
~Marin
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Oh-I'm glad you mentioned the cock-ring Marin. I agree that is another good way to stimulate.
Don't know how I managed without those little buggers.....
Love and prayers, Deb0 -
you girls are the best! who else could i ask- thanks i will check it all out 0
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Great news, my friends....our beloved "founder" of this MOJO board, Mena, has been in touch and asked me to update you all. As some of you know, she was having a rather rough time, but I'm happy to report that things seem to be looking up for her. She's feeling better and is in good spirits....thanks, in part, to the fact that she's getting some of her mojo back, hooking up with a FWB and, of course, the one we all know and have much love & devotion for, Mr. Hitachi
!!!Best of all, Mena expects to be back here soon and, as she put it, "talking like a sailor" again!!!! YAY!
~Marin
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Thanks for that update,Marin ......I'm so pleased that things are looking up for Mena. She has had a tough time.Eagerly awaiting her posting again.
Thanks to Mena the most interesting thread on this board runs and runs!!
Sam
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Welcome back to Mena - we want details!!!
But I have to thank Marin, once again, for the l-arginine 'tip' as I swear it's helped me with sensation and intensity. I'm currently in the throes of my second menopause (chemopause wasn't enough, my body wanted to experience it again!) and I'm hoping my libido doesn't suffer too badly. I actually really don't have a 'sex drive' (since chemo) but when put into the right situation my body does, thankfully, remember what it's supposed to do! And the new man knows what to do, too!
Jaybird
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Niiiiiiice, Jaybird! I'm jealous and totally need a man. If only most of the online guys weren't sad sacks or psychos! I guess all of you married and partnered ladies have all of the hot ones, right? Well, count your blessings, I say, and get to "work" pleasuring them and yourselves!
I can't do a proper job of addressing the menopause/chemopause issue because I went through it when I was 17 years old (and, yes, had ER+ cancer....go figure!). I can say that now, at the age of 55, I've never been hornier or more sexually confident (not to mention competent
) in my life! I think that alot of it is actually because of having had cancer. I was left with an attitude of "WTF....I'm gonna forget inhibitions and get me all of what I want and deserve!" I mean, I can't imagine that I would have been open to even "timid" things like toys and dressing-up or porn before bc. Maybe, but I really did kind of have a huge stick up my a$$ in my younger years. Anyway, my "prescription" for anyone trying to rev up the mojo is to open up your mind, relax your body (with help of course!) and experiment! The L-arginine doesn't hurt either.~Marin
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Marin, that's a great attitude to have!
I have always been somewhat of a free spirit and have pretty much done whatever I've wanted to (began shaving 'down there' in my early 20's), had some really great (and not so great) sex partners and was horny 24/7. Now, I'm never 'horny', don't get that "I gotta get laid" feeling and I miss it! I was used to thinking about sex all day every day and now I don't and I really miss it! And while I do enjoy my new man my sexuality just isn't the same as before BC.....
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Jaybird...Could this be called "Being the Mom of a Toddler"??? Just a thought.....I never contemplated sex when my daughter was young. Sleep, yes....sex, no.
~Marin
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Sometimes, it's alot simpler than we think. I loved this joke:
Just goes to show how differently men and women look at things...
HER DIARY
Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts where somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
Today the Bruins lost. At least I got laid. Marin0 -
HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! So true! :-/
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That was hilarious, Joel! Thanks!
~Marin
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