Class of 2009 - Sisters in the same time frame
Comments
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Well it's summer here. 87 today. What the heck is our weather going to be like in July. Currently hotter in my house that outside. We really need a new AC soon.
I am having more surgery soon. Thanks to the AI's I have trigger finger in four of my fingers. Going for the worse hand first which is also my LE side.
I also have a repeat chest scan Monday and will know the results on Wed. at my three month oncology appointment. Will we ever quit worrying about these test? I have already started having so anxiety issues. ugg Keeping my fingers crossed that I can say two years on the 29th.
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Have any of you heard from or seen Pam around here on the boards? Just wondering because it's been a while. I know she is living life but I like to keep touch with her. Hope everyone else is having a beautiful March and we are headed into April and it looks like it' going to be a great Easter weekend
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Well I finally updated my avatar. I have hair and lots of it. It is now curly and I have never really had curly hair. Sort of unusual for me. I just put products on it, run my fingers through it and away I go. Very easy.
Renee, I have wondered myself where she is, seems like she would be checking in some, but maybe she has decided to let it go and just live life.
Kittydog, you have had some strange weather like us this winter. We had very few freezing days and have had lots of rain. We have had as much rain this year than we had all of last year. It was so hot here last summer, 110 most days, I am hoping it doesn't repeat this summer. It is beautiful here now, flowers blooming, lakes full, green pastures, sunshine and about 80 deg F during the day. Good luck on your surgery. My SEs finally all went away and I am not having any problems now. I am going to the DR about my knees, but I don't think it is AI SEs, I think it is old age and arthritis.
I have one more 4 month checkup, then I go on 6 month, just moving right through. I am doing fine, no problems here. I am so glad.
Hugs,
Juannelle
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Juanelle I love the new pic and your hair is beautiful!! Your weather is like ours here in Alabama...hot and rainy
As for Arimidex I decided to take a break and haven't took it in 2 days and I called the MO about the hair loss issue, my head itching like crazy and other problems I am having. I left a message for him with his secretary. I didn't get a call back on Friday so I am hoping I get one on Monday. I have been on 6 month follow ups now for a long while.
good luck Juanelle!!
good luck with surgery Kitty dog!!!
Hugs,
Renee
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I have been wondering about Pam also, but see that she logged in about 12 hours ago.... maybe just lurking and not posting!
Pam if you ARE lurking (like I usually do!), Please know that you are thought about often and I would love to know how things are going with you!
Juanelle - love the hair!! Mimi - still praying that you find the job of your dreams! Kitty - Good luck on your surgery - hope the scans were great!
I will be heading for an oopherectomy this year - will be meeting with the surgeon in May. I just wanted to make it to 3 years out from diagnosis before even thinking about any further surgery. So will plan (hopefully) for surgery this Fall cause the every 4 -5 month check ups with the internal ultrasound is getting VERY annoying!
Hope everyone else here are doing well...
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Hello girls. I too lurk with a bit of post thrown in for good measure.
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Juannelle...Gee, Your Hair Looks Terrific! Isn't it weird the changes our hair goes through?
I remember that ridiculously hot summer last year. I really hope it's not so bad this year! We're supposed to hit 91 today, ugh. Yesterday got close to 90, and it's going to be in the uppoer 80's and 90's all week. YUCK. But the rain did result in gorgeous wildflowers this year.
Renee, I think of you often, and hope that the perfect job comes along soon. It seems that you're enjoying the time with your granddaughter, though - precious moments, you'll treasure them forever!
Kitty, how did your scans turn out? The anxiety can really build, I know. Good luck with your upcoming hand surgery - I hope it eases your problems.
Mary Louise, good luck with your upcoming surgery, too. I had considered the oophorectomy as well, but since my periods never returned, I decided to table the issue until/if the periods return.
Michele, how are you feeling? How long has it been since the surgery for you? I'm a little over 3 months out, and looking forward to the follow-up surgery in July to even things out. Are you pleased with how everything turned out?
Hair, hair, hair...I wish my curls and body had stayed around, but my hair went back to straight. The weird thing that happened with my hair is that my part moved to the opposite side of my head. Strange, huh? And it's maybe a bit thicker. I still have bald patches in my eyebrows though. I have to use an eyebrow shaping kit now - something I never used to have to do with my overwhelmingly bushy brows in the past. But, the "bonus" is, the armpit where I had rads no longer grows hair, nor does it sweat! Deodorant lasts twice as long
I already have anxiety building up for my PET scheduled for the end of June. I've been having back and shoulder pain for the last week - probably nothing, but you know how the worry begins. Will the anxiety ever go away? Probably not, but I wish it would.
I turned 39 on March 19th. Whoever thought I would be happy to turn 39? But, having cancer gives me a whole new perspective on birthdays, you know?
Much ove and big hugs to you all!
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Sorry I forgot to come back and update. The small dot is still on the scan. They think it may be some scar tissue but because of the cancer history, I have to repeat it again in six months.
Surgery went well. So far very little swelling. I managed to get by with only one pain pill today. Just can't wait to get the stitches out and really know w hat I can do with them. Still very sore and black and blue.
Hope everybody has a great week.
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Yeah Kittydog for not having to take so many pain pills and for coming through surgery well! Have a great week.
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Wow, where have I been? Well, somehow "class of 2009" disappeared from "my favorites" so when I did log in I did not see any activity. I only saw it today because it was at the top of the actives list. I did get embarrassed at my high volume of posts and swore I was going to wean myself off of playing the word games until some others caught up with me. And I really have been thinking about breast cancer a lot less lately.
I finally looked around my yard and realized I had really let things get out of hand over the past three years. So there has been a whole lot of work going on around here. I can't believe it took me three years to get my "groove" back but that's my best guess. I have just been the Energizer Bunny lately. Now I need to turn some of that energy toward the inside of the house!
Welcome to new people whose names I can't look up as I will lose my post. It is so comforting to have all of you to share this experience with and there is so much to admire in each of you.
Juanelle, I am so sorry to read about your daughter's BC and all the complications life has thrown your way.i hope you have found a way to show her you care without getting pulled back in to a bad situation. Honest to goodness, it just seems that sometimes we just can't win with kids. Are you doing okay?
Good job, maryLouise. Losing weight is such a battle. I really lost weight while I was on arimidex and got a little thinner than I wanted to be. I looked fine from the shoulders down but my face and neck looked absolutely gaunt. Not a good look. After I changed to tamoxifen I slowly gained about ten pounds and I think I look better and definitely feel better. It helps that DH is borderline diabetic and we kind of follow our version of WW to control his blood sugar. There's a lot of cheating but it seems to be working. BTW, did anyone see Sixty Minutes tonight? Sugar is toxic?!?! I have given up so much and done so much trying to be healthy but no sugar? I don't think I can do it.
MarieK, did you find out any more about your tumor markers? I know everyone says they are not a good indicator but we all want them to be low. What does your dr order? I have the CA15-3 and so far, so good. I see my onc Tuesday for my six month check up and will learn the latest results then.
Kitty dog, I just had my bi-annual lung cat scan too. My spot showed up during my early BC work up and it has been hanging over me like a black cloud ever since. Every time they say one more CT but then every time there is some shadow or artifact or change that makes another follow up In Six months "necessary." it's too small to biopsy, too small to pet scan but I am so tired of the suspense. It would be easier for me to ignore it. I changed facilities for my scan this time, same hospital chain but a different branch, so hoping a new radiologist will see it differently. The other thing that drives me crazy... I cannot talk to the radiologist or see the films. I have to ask my oncologist and she has to ask the radiologist and get back to me which makes it impossible to have the natural flow of questions and answers one would normally engage in. Do you ever get to talk to the horse's mouth?
Eph3, I hope you will play the word games more and more and run up your postings numbers so I can come back and play again. The one game I cannot give up is Wacky Definitions. You guys are all so clever and funny.
Renee, isn't it just a shame how life train us to be worker bees? It's hard to break the habit of getting up and going to work and feeling useful and productive. And no one notices a clean house or meals cooked, they are just taken for granted. I worked part time for three years as a transition to full retirement and that eased me in to it. Now, with the job situation like it is, seems like lots of people are working one or two or more part time jobs. I guess the companies like it if they don't have to pay benefits
Shelby, I share your one-sided deodorant/shaving benefit. I asked my rads dr if my axilla was radiated and he said definitely not. But three years later, still no hair, no sweat and no odor. Weird, huh? Being a curly top (more frizzy top) I envy your straight hair. The part shift is really strange. I haven't heard of that before. I'm sorry you have to wait till July for your scans. The worry just never lets up. Wishing you good news!
Fmakj, are you on tamoxifen and is that why you are considering an ooph? I started out on arimidex but switched to T after about 15 months. Too many side effects with the AI and I have tolerated tamoxifen very well. Fortunately (?) I had a hysterectomy 20 years ago so no uterine problems to worry about. And I am ignoring possible blot clot complications. Do you foresee going on an AI after ooph?
Michele and lowride0 -
Oops, for a second there I thought I had lost my message! Wow, that would have been a bummer. Maybe the program is sending me a message about being too long winded? I'll finish later.
So glad to see you all. I see my onc Tuesday and will pop back with all good reports!
Hugs to all,
pam0 -
Pam!! So great to see you again! Glad to hear all is going well and that you will be getting that confirmed on Tuesday!
I have been going to a high risk ovarian cancer clinic since finishing treatment for bc. I am not on any other treatment as I am TN. My Ovarian Dr. recommends the ooph because there is a distant history of ovarian cancer (2nd cousin before age of 40) and that I am TN. Also, he is not comfortable with "just monitoring", as he said it will do nothing to "prevent" OV Cancer. I have just been delaying the surgery until I hit my 3 year mark............... and.............. it looks like I am almost there now!! Will know more when I get to see the surgeon in May. Not looking forward to the surgery and the SE's, but know I really shouldn't wait much longer rolling the dice!
Really great to see you back!
Hope everyone can enjoy a peaceful week!
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Pam, welcome back, we missed ya.
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Welcome back we certainly have missed you!
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Pam, it is so good to hear from you. Thanks for asking about my daughter. She had a Bilateral about two weeks ago and is doing fine. This hasn't helped our relationship, she has not changed over the years and I am still holding back. She walked out of our lives over 6 years ago and never looked back until now. She hasn't asked for anything from me, just wants me to know what is happening. We still have many issues to settle before we can move on and we will just wait to see what happens.
Hope everyone had a great Easter, mine was very relaxing.
Hugs,
Juannelle
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Pam, so good to see you - I love seeing your avatar, it makes me smile
The beach is my absolute favorite place in the WORLD. While it's so terrific that you were AWOL because of increased energy and loving life, we still missed you! Kitty, how is your hand feeling? Soon, the pain from surgery should fade away, and you'll be able to use that hand again!
Mary Louise, it stinks that you have to go through yet another surgery. However, it should put any fears of ovarian cancer in the future to bed.
Juannelle, happy Easter to you. Glad you were able to relax and enjoy the time at home. Although I lean more to the spiritual side than being a "religious" person, I was at church bright and early, 7:00 a.m., to watch my daughter receive first communion. She is joining the Catholic church and will be confirmed in a few weeks. I was raised Episcopalean, so it's not all that different, but it's been interesting seeing the different rituals and belief systems.
Okay - I need to get a reality check, ladies. You know how our minds immediately go to the worst case scenario. This back and shoulder pain of mine will not go away. Then, I got blood test results from a routine dr visit, which showed elevated blood calcium levels. So, high blood calcium can be two things - hyperparathyroidism, or bone mets. (It could be other things, but those are the most common causes.) Coupled with this back pain, I'm freaking.
Despite the logic that it is much more likely to be hyperparathyroidismit's than cancer, I can't keep my brain from going to the scary place. Part of me just says to wait until I get the PET, that it will show if something is there, but then the other part says no, PET can only show things larger than a centimeter, and what if it's just smaller than that, and I get a false sense of security? Aside from the fact that I'll probably go crazy with worry by then (it's not scheduled until mid-June). I don't want to seem like a hypochodriac, but I'm so stressed out. I need somebody to talk me down!
Deep breaths here...
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Ah Shelby, of course you are worried. Is there any way to move your scan up sooner? But, like you said, the PET scan can only rule in a cancer that is more than one cm. So you need to allow enough time for growth. Isn't that a happy thought? But how do we not go to the dark side when these issues arise.
I am plagued with a similar worry over the lung nodule that will not go away. I was actually feeling pretty blasé this time. I planned to bypass the pulmunologist and got my MO to order the cat scan this time. Well, she had not been the one assessing it previously so instead of taking it less seriously she was all worked up. She even suggested that it might be a primary lung cancer! That's one way to make a breast cancer metastasis sound not so terrible. Anyway, I ended up back with the pulmunologist who said it really did not look so different and he was not worried but ordered a PET scan next time. I have NO hope that this will resolve anything. I figure I am being punished for being one who would read the last few pages of a book because I could not stand not knowing how things turned out!
I did read a post by one BC.org sister who said "knowing or not knowing did not change the reality of what it was." I actually found some comfort in that thought.
I just can't come up with any wise, sage, comforting words. Your fear is real and justified. Of course you don't want to worry your girls so you can't talk to them about it. You don't want your friends to think you are a hypochondriac so you can't share with them. You don't want to be the "patient who cried wolf" so you can't harrass your doctor or his staff as often as you'd like. BUT you can come here and put your fear into words and by golly, every one of us understands!
Love and hugs!
Pam0 -
Pam love that quote.
My hand is doing okay. I get stitches out Wed. and I am really ready. Actually I am hoping he doesn't have to put them back in on the thumb. I caught one of them on the towel this morning and it ripped open just slightly. It wouldn't quit hurting so I did the next best thing...neosporin with pain relieft and a bandaid over it..
It is hard not to get worked up over our aches and pains. I am so glad we have these boards to come and talk. Nobody seems to understand our fears since they haven't been there.
txstardust...are you on any AI's? Back pain is a common SE. I have also found that my back and neck have been killing me lately and realized that it is my foob. I had a UNMX and finally in Feb. got my first Silicon Foob. It has changed the way I walk and the pressure on the chest and shoulders are causing me lots of pain. I know it's the boob because I put a bra on for the first time in a week and the pain came back. Try to reason it out. Anything new, or have you changed the way you do something. Me....I would probably call the ONC and ask what they think.
Hope everybody had a great Easter.
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Hi everyone...just popping in the say hello! Hope you're all doing well and that the Easter Bunny was good to you!
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Pam:
I was diagnosed in 2009 with introductal carcinoma. I had several surgeries to remove the infected tissue area and healed amazingly well. After 10 years of good mammograms and some accelerated stress, I showed a small tumor in the same area of my left breast. I refused a masectomy and just had several operations to remove the infected area. I then had my right breast reduced in size to match my left breast. Now, I panic every time I go to have a mammogram. I just went yesterday and they called this morning needing more films of my right breast. I feel fine, I'm not laden with extreme tiredness that cancer causes. I'm waiting to hear the actual readings of my first films from my physician. The mammography office would not share these with me. I sense a bit of stress and frustration. I see the need to take better control of my personal life with regards to other doctors that I see and medications that have been prescribed that show no positive effects. Any lack of attention in this area will lead to other areas of diress in my life so my woman's intuition tells me. My intuition is always on the money and I can not let others influence me. Wish me good luck!
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Hi Bear111,
I am so sorry you are having to go through this anxiety again. And the waiting just adds to the misery.
Since my diagnosis in 2009 when I went for mammograms I met with the radiologist at the end and he reviewed the films with me. I just thought that was a new approach. However, on my recent mammogram visit, now three years post treatment, I did not get to see the radiologist and had to wait until I saw my oncologist for the report. Why? Well, apparently there are diagnostic mammograms and screening mammograms. With a screening mammogram no one is expecting trouble and results are sent to your doctor. With a diagnostic mammogram there is a known "situation", like you have had a breast issue recently and more shots are taken and you have a sit down with the radiologist on the spot. The doctor who ordrers your mammogram decides which is done. Perhaps there is a protocol that determines which is done, whether your insurance will pay for the obviously more expensive diagnostic exam. I like being someone they are not as worried about but don't like not getting the report right away.
It does seen like stress is a factor, doesn't it? But if we instrospect our lives I don't guess there has ever been a stressfree time period. But I've got to say that the year or two before my diagnosis were the just about the sadest of my life. (Mostly concerning one of my children and a situation over which I had absolutely no control but worried terribly) Now I half jokingly tell everyone NO STRESS NO STRESS!!!
Wishing you good luck, Bear. I hope you find a way to exercise some control over this bump in the road.
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At my imaging place I was told this year they are required to do a diagnostic for five years after the cancer DX. Gee my Dr. didn't mention that to me. I really think it just depends on who answers the phone that day. They never asked me the first year but I had a paper for a diagnostic one because they wanted to rule out breast pain or scar tissue pain from where the port was.
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Kitty,
I have read others say they had diagnostic mammos for five years and that seem reasonable to me. Three years seems kind of cutting it short. BUT perhaps stage plays a role in deciding what to do.
Is the lymphedema in your calf related to your UMX? I did not know that could happen. How do you treat it?
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Hello everyone. I was told by the clinic that I have my mammograms done, that by the recommendations of the American Cancer Society, that once you have been cancer free for 2 years, then you go back on yearly mammos. That is what my insurance goes by also. So last August, when I thought I was due for another 6 month diagnostic mammo, I made the appointment and went and when I got there they wouldn't do it and gave me a paper with the recommendations. So two years from my diagnosis, then I went back to a regular schedule.
I do like seeing the radiologist after my mammo, but now I am back in the main stream, guess that is good, because I am not having any problems related to BC.
A lot of it is probably driven by insurance. If your insurance will pay, then good for you.
Having a great weekend, both grandkids here playing, life is good.
Juannelle
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PJ123 They are not positive what set off the LE in my legs. There are several things that could have. One being chemo because it damaged my lymph nodes. When the surgeon went in his plan was like all to take all since I knew one was positive for cancer. However he only took the first five because the rest was just mush..his words. lol The other thought is maybe when I had my gallbladder less than a year before cancer or when I had my hysterectomy something got hit or snipped then. The third thing they thought and I am not old enough for it but I have lots of small varicose veins and then I could just be one who is predisposed for it. I have always had big legs even when I was much smaller. I never even noticed my other leg was bigger until the LE PT pointed it out...I did complain to the oncologist's NP about my swollen legs last summer but she too thought maybe the lyrica was causing it. Reminder listen to your inner self.
Anyway I wear compression to the knees on both legs and I have to do MLD on the right leg. It's a pain and I don't know how I will make it through our hot summer when we have already had temps in the 90's in March. Currently still on a break thanks to the hand surgery. Dr. told me Wed. I couldn't wear them yet hand isn't well enough to put them on. yeah but my leg is so swollen. So I have off at least till the first of May. He still doesn't want me using my hand until then. grrrrrrrrrr It not ready though. I accidental used that hand today to shut the car door. Made me say ugly words.
I also wonder if they follow me more because of being Stage 3. So far insurance hasn't question it..everything else though. Hope everybody has a great week.
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Pam, I need to print that quote out and tape it to my mirror so I see it every day! Sadly, logic like that doesn't always help, but reminders certainly can't hurt! And you've pegged it exactly - who else could I talk to about this? THANK YOU!!!
I wish I could say that AIs were causing the problem, but I'm not taking them, no Tamox either. I did finally get through to the onc, and I have an appointment for next Monday morning. I'm not sure what exactly he's going to do, but at least I can bring up my worries. My back is STILL hurting, and the other day in class, I practically shouted out from pain in my shoulder when I raised my arm to point out something on a map. I'm using a heating pad, and I got an Rx for tramadol - at least I think that's what it's called- and ibuprofen. The ibuprofen works, but my tummy doesn't like it. I threw up on the way to work on Friday, yuck! I MUST remember to eat something with that. I just want to know so I can stop being in this no-man's-land of not knowing.
Kitty, wow, you're going through a lot with the LE and the hand issues! It sucks, is all there is to it. You're in my thoughts (as always).
I just have to say, thanks to everyone here. It is such a relief to know you are here when I need you! And it is such a blessing to be here for you as well. Hugs to all!
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Our lives were forever changed when we hear "I am sorry, but you have breast cancer". We can't run away from it, we can't deny it, you just have to deal with it, it is a reality. Some of us are still dealing with the pain, the sorrow, the emotional, treatment and many other things that go along with BC. We understand each other, encourage, support and love each other in ways we never thought we could, especially since we have never met and our contact is on some form of social networking. When we are here we can say honestly how we feel, what we are afraid of, what worries us the most and that some of the small things that happen to us are not brushed off as nonsense. We celebrate the good and deal with the sad sad sorrow when one is lost or conditions change.
Eventhough we all still deal with BC or the threat of what it represents on a daily basis, the world around us moves on and after several years, other people don't want to hear about it anymore. My DH, thinks we have beat it, so there is no reason to dwell on it anymore, not that I obsess about it, but it is now a part of me I can not escape. Reality is that some day I may have to face it again. I hope that I don't, but there will always be that little thought in the back of my mind. You all know what I am talking about.
I could not have made it without all of you. It is hard to put into words the gratitude I feel for you.
I am not trying to be negative, I am just expressing my thoughts on the real world and how we connect to each other.
Things are very good for me, except that I drank too much ice tea tonight and can't sleep. Tomorrow I am going on a field trip with my grandson. He is 7 now, almost 8, and he asked that I go on this trip with him. I am so honored, I have to enjoy this while I can, because I know the day will come, when he will not what me to be a part of school activities.
Hugs,
Juannelle
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Dear one-L, dear sister of 2009,
Reading your post I was mowed to tears because of your telling exactly what I felt and am feeling yet, but because of my modest language knowledge couldn't say! Thank you!
Still on BCO posts every day I'm glad to belong to this family, knowing to could post and ask whatever happens!
Heartily greeting to you and all 2009 sisters!
Usha
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Usha, thank you. I was afraid my post would seem like rambling and that I was depressed. I didn't want to sound that way, because that is not me. I think we have a unique sisterhood here, because we do understand each other and give and receive so much support.
Where do you live? We are glad to have you and you are doing well with the language, I do not speak another language and wish I did, but I think I am too old at this point in my life.
Juannelle
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Juanelle ~ what a beautiful post !!!
Thank you for sharing with us.
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