MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545

    Sheila - Celebrated after finishing rads.  Had a good time but like you said it feels like an empty time.  Realizing a part of me has been taken away and i will never get it back.  I want to hate my surgeon but I absolutely can not and will not.  He is one of my biggest supporters and had big shoulders for me to cry on and was generous with the hugs.  I still get calls from him to see how I am doing even though I don't have to go back and see him.  He is an amazing person.

    Thank you soooo much for all your support.  coy tesekkuler 

  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 4,503

    Meece love the Santa and Reindeer thanks so much

    Jo-sorry you are having a down time right now.  If it helps to talk with your friend that I would spend what time you can with her.  Sometimes it does help to talk to someone else who has been through it. When I was in my waiting time after surgery I was able to visit with a good friend who went through this 4 years ago.  She was stage III and doing great now.  We cried together and it made me feel so much better.  Talking is good

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604

    ive just started to deal; or rather, to admit im NOT dealing very well with this, and its' now 11/2 yrs away from BMX.. got inot therapy with therapist at my cancer centre. he's great, and today was a particularly hard session w/ him, with all thats' gone on the past few weeks..i had a lot to deal with, with family issues BEFORE the BEAST came into town.. now, although im dancing with NED; there's some problems.. and, dealing with all the left overs from chemo. its tough going. don't be afraid to get emotional help when you need it, ladies. i don't even consider the cost right now. i am lucky to have the insurance, and when they come knocking on my door for the rest; well, i hope im over the worst of it emotionally.

       he made a good point to me today. PTSD; for sure, if we'd had tx..add to that , the AL's we're doing, be they natural, or RX.. they screw with us emotionally. i knew i failed all the RX drugs for AL therapy, but i had discounted that the natural ones are still manipulating my hormones'. AND, i can't take anti deprressants, so im in a bit of a "hole" myself. i think the holidays magnifies things; both good, or basd or is that and?? we just have to put one foot in front of the other, and try for everyday to do our best. ive really been hit hard emotionally, and don't expect to "whiz" thru any of this.. not expecting it, i tend to be more gentle with myself.. just thinking aloud right now. wishing you all well in your journey. being here, with you all; that i KNOW you've been there, helps me more than anything, and i thank you all for that..

       am so glad to hear the news about PM, Meece, thanks for the update..and the great pics!!      3jays

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,885

    When you get right down to it, most women have a pretty good fighting spirit so when you are in active treatment you do feel like you are DOING SOMETHING about your B/C.  All the F/Us that come afterward are really kind of dreary, but neccessary I guess.  Seeing the doctors every three-four mos. makes me feel like I still have cancer, in a way.  I think when (I know I could say if, but I won't) I get back to just having yearly exams again, I feel like it will be an affirmation that I have fully returned to "health." 

  • brazos58
    brazos58 Member Posts: 109

    Quick drive by Post...

    MarLegal....have not been on this thread since last friday and I missed your post about the get together. Thank you so much for putting that out there for me!  We will need to find me someone to ride shotgun as I am as directional as all Hell.

    I had my 1st six month check up s/p my BMX's on wed. There is a 7mm nodule on my chest wall.I found it Monday. My BS does not think it is anything, wants to watch it, maybee a fat necrosis ( i am not even sure what that is about.....)  But if i want, he will biopsy it.

    So I have totally revisited having a recurrance and had a freaking Night Terror one night of having to have Rads/ Chemo and more surgery ....surgery when I have nothing left. I am really tired. I don't know which end is up at the moment. I have not done much for Christmas.

    Sending you all Love, Light, Strength to Hold you UP.

    Hi to all Newbies

    (( Love to PMOM ))

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605

    I would go to a breast cancer retreat IF it was about crying, screaming, ranting and raving. NOT about pink ribbons and good cheer. Does that make sense? We get all the rah-rah shit from TV and radio and retail stores. What we need is to be able to stop smiling and let the bad crap out of our systems.

    Anyone want to come with me?

  • OG56
    OG56 Member Posts: 377

    Ho Ho Ho, ladies Santa Claus came to my house yesterday and brought me a beautifully wrapped package that weighed in at 7 lbs and is 21" long and he is a doll!  Yes, now you can call me "Grandma".. DD had an easy time of it and they are both doing well. I will be going to see them next Thursday, I cannot wait to spoil him rotten and then give him back to his Mama!

    Hope everyone is doing well, I can't seem to keep up with our thread as I am on the road for work constantly and when I get back to my hotel room every night I fall into bed and sleep...

    Hugs,

    Linda 

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618

    Linda, congratulations.  Now the G in your name can stand for Grandma!

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    barbe1958 - It does make sense and I agree with you - Sign me up.  I will go with you.  That is what I need about now.
  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,885

    OG56, Thanks for sharing your exciting news with us.  Congrats to all!   What can Santa bring on the 25th that could ever top that???   You are so correct in your new "job description."  Spoiling the kids IS the grandparents job.  (Embarrassing the kids is the parents job---hohoho!) 

    Barbe, You mention "retreat" when most people are in "charge" mode.  Charge it!  Hohoho again!

                                             ---------------------------------------------------------------

    I'm just full of laughter today because I had the dreaded Endometrial Biopsy procedure from my GYN doc, that is a part of my Tamox. monitoring.  My doctor did say that MANY doctors do not do the E. Biopsy routinely, only if a woman has some bleeding or uterine symptoms, but he does it yearly as a screening for women on Tamox.   He said in over 30 years, he has only had two women get endometrial cancer from taking Tamox.  I feel like I probably don't even need this test, but then, again, it WAS NOT EVEN BAD.  I had been dreading it for six months because I heard it makes a woman crampy, and even heard "hurts like hell."  I kept waiting for a big cramp, but then he seemed to be done, and I had to ask if that was the worst of it?  He said that was it...done.  I consider myself to be about average as far as pain threshold, but I've had period cramps that were 10 times worse.  The slight pressure?  If you've had a kicking baby in your uterus, then you've had movement and pressure 5 times as bad from that.  Seriously, although this was no ride on the merry-go-round, it really was not bad either.  The only thing that was a surprise was when the nurse gave me A PAD and said "you're bleeding now" because they disturbed my uterine lining.  I don't know if it's going to make me have a full blown period now or what?  I had just gotten used to NOT having one of those.  Oh, the memories.

  • eph3_12
    eph3_12 Member Posts: 2,704

    Barbe-sign me up!

    I have the athletic fields for the local high school out my back gate.  I have on occasion walked out in the middle of the night and screamed my head off!  Feels good!

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618

    Elimar,

    Not sure if it is "period" bleeding, or scratch/cut type bleeding.  I thought that if your body isn't having periods the endometrial lining doesn't develop to the point it could "slough off".  Am I wrong?

    I have had numerous bx of my cervix and I do have nerves/pain receptors there.

  • cookiegal
    cookiegal Member Posts: 527

    Faith have fun in Utah...I loved it there!

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618

    I thought the highways seemed in such good condition there, that it was pleasant to be on the road!

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,885

    Barbe, if you ever give up the day job, consider "Barbe's B/C Bed & Breakfast"...eating, sleeping, crying, ranting and side trips to Toronto!

         

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545

    elimar - I want one of the first reservations.  We can all get together with multiple bottles of wine and just let it all out.  Never been to Toronto - that would be fun.

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    congratulations on new GS!!!3jays
  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    congratulations on new GS!!!3jays
  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545

    Weekend Comments and Graphics for MySpace, Tagged, Facebook

  • eph3_12
    eph3_12 Member Posts: 2,704

    Elimar-I forgot how a green scarf makes the green in your eyes POP!  Love the picture of you in the new topper ;>)

  • barbaraa
    barbaraa Member Posts: 3,548

    Barbe - sign me up for the rant and rave retreat. I am ready for that!!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605

    Rant and Rave....LOVE it!!!!

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611

    I always had this desire to be on an open field of daisies and wild flowers.......

    The one exactly like the opening of Little House on The Prairie when the youngest one is running.

    Running, screaming crying, say anything i want to say.........

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611

    Congratulations OG/grandma.

  • susantm
    susantm Member Posts: 71

    elimar, I had one of those e. biopsies recently, when I had some unexpected spotting. (I'm not on any of those drugs yet.) Afterwards I just had a tiny bit of spotting, and that was it. AND it came back negative, so I was quite happy. I'm glad it wasn't anywhere near as bad as people online made it seem.

    Running and screaming through a field of daisies. Yeah, that sounds nice!

    Susan

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,885
    Why, thank you Eph!  Thank you for noticing that I did accessorize my normal skin-tight convict bodystocking with some adorable red figure skates and a jaunty green scarf.  Boop, boop-a-doop! 
  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    Brazos I forgot to address the part of your message about the necrosis.  I have a part of my affected breast that gets watched closely - it's fat necrosis but I did have two BX's at my surgeon's insistence just so we were sure.  She knew I'd never rest otherwise.  I say get the BX, hear that it's nothing to worry about, just to watch.  It's right in the area where they did the concentrated rads and I was told that wasn't unusual for that area to develop issues.  What fun, huh?

    Jo1955, I clearly remember one day after surgery, after chemo, after radiation - I was working from home and I totally lost it!  Talk about delayed reaction, huh?  I went up to bed and crawled under the covers, lights out, and let myself really take hte time to cry and be scared and think about what I'd been through the last 6 months.  Luckily, I'm not the kind to hold things in so I started talking to good friends (hub is a gem, but not for that) and came to the boards and to the chat rooms very often to voice my fears, concerns, whatever.  If that hadn't worked, I would not have hesitated to seek outside counselling.  I'm 5+ years out now and doing well - still see the onc and the surgeon every 6 mos and that's fine by me actually.  Bottom line, we need to acknowledge that shit happened to us, and to seek whatever solace we can whether it be from friends, from BCO, from therapists, from meds, or some combo of all those things.

    Hugs buddies.

  • Maureen813
    Maureen813 Member Posts: 1,826

    Hi Ladies, new to this thread.  Happy Holiday's to all.  I'm in this age range and in active chemo.  Get a little down every now and then so it's nice to know I have someone to talk to.  Married with one daughter, one son a good husband and a really cooperative cat.  She stays with me through the chemo stuff.  Just finished my last A/C and onto the Taxol x 12 starting 12/20.  Spending Xmas with my family and suppose to cook so I'm really looking for advice on the Taxol s/e's and recovery time.  The A/C kicked my butt or I'm just whiney? 

    Looking forward to meeting fellow warriors and raising my spirits.

    Maureen

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545

    marlegal - Thank you so much for the support.  It does go alot of good to talk about this. I have two friends that also went through BC this summer.  One was dx'd in April and the other in Aug.  It turns out the one in Aug was dx'd at the same time was getting my 2nd mammo & US.  I had my lump on Aug 30 and she had her mx on Aug 31.The other two did not do chemo or rads just AIs. I was the only one who did rads. The three of us have talked alot and all of us agree we really haven't dealt with the emotional side of things.  We are making plans on getting together and have a rant, rave, cry, session.

    We all have great hubbies, but this is not the  thing they want to hear about.

    My next step is to see my onc on Monday morning to see what happens next. I don't have to see my surgeon anymore - do have an open appt to go back if I need to.  Don't have to see the rad onc anymore - wouldn't even if I had to - he is such a moron. 

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,885

    Welcome Maureen813!  I guess the good thing about having treatments during the holidays is that there are other activities going on at this time of year that can take your mind away from the B/C saga for a few moments now and then.  The bad side to having treatment now is it does drain away your energy at a time when there are more things that need doing.  Well, there never a good time to get B/C, but it's always a good time to get The Beast cut out of you. 

    Don't worry about whining.  The women here would just invite you on their Rant & Rave retreat (which is only in the imagination stage at this point.)  

    I cannot comment on Taxol S/Es.  I didn't have chemo but A/C+T is a common treatment, and there should be some on this thread that have also had it.  A/C+T anyone?