MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Welcome, Jean and Cinnamon.
I bacame an empty nester 8 months ago, and it feels like such a long time ago now. In just months I will become a grandma. But it feels like I jsut had little ones of my own. I suppose I should keep in mind you are as young as you feel, and make every effort to feel my best.
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grandkids are great. I became a grandma at 32, my oldest stepson had a daughter at that time. She is now 16 and I am 48. She says I am the coolest grandma because I am not old like her friends grandma's. She likes to go places with me and people think she is my daughter. She likes to tell them she is my granddaughter so she can she the look on their faces. She thinks it is funny.
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Sherry - Kids and grandkids can say the cutest things.
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Hello ladies just joining this thread, JeanH and cinnamonsmile! Looking back, I don't kow why I didn't title the thread "Fabulous Women 40-60ish." Now, we just have to live with the Middle-Aged thing for better or worse.
You know, that opening statement is just a profile...it may or may not fit the many situations a Mid-Age woman can find herself in. (If I listed all the possibilities, that opener would have been a page long!)
Age (and B/C) is the only loose criteria for this thread. (Ha! Those of you who thought it was humor and Cheetos!!!!) We have pretty much all Stages, all Types, and it doesn't matter which phase of treatment you are in or where you live. Other threads create groups around some of those things. Here, it's a wide range of women and I kind of like that it is a broad spectrum. Just real women, real stories, real lives, and a real disgust for The Beast. Now that's a group!
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elimar - You summed it nicely.
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My daughter leaves in Feb. But the son is still ere. I will be there sometime with all the other nesters. Im so ready, but Im sure I'll end up being a pile of mush when it does happen. I was like that whenever they went to school the first time. I was doing the happy dance because I would finally have a few hours peace and quite. I dropped my son off and as I walked away I started bawling like a baby, lol.
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I have to keep reminding myself that my "babies" are grown now, but it's not like when they hit 18 yrs. old someone flips the "off" switch on the mom. There is a learning curve for moms as the kids become adults, eventually we figure it all out.
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I agree! I hated the thought of my daughter in pain as she gave birth!!!!!! Now my son is going to be a Dad and I love the thought of knowing how that feels...when you realized what love really is....
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Elimar, is this truth you speak? I am so ready for the 16 yr old to become one with adulthood so I can quit being such a bi-autch!
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PS-You MUST save the topper in the thread! I love it-it's my new desktop!0
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O.K., Eph, we'll just keep the meditating pooch here for safe-keeping.
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I had my children when I was young on purpose. I wanted children, but I also wanted to be able to enjoy grandchildren. And yet still be young enough to do all the things I wanted to do without feeling guilty about leaving children at home. My youngest is 26, oldest 28. My husband has 3 kids too. So we have 11 grandkids between us. I'm 46 years young, and go & do anything I please without guilt.
Then the cancer bug hit. Now am really glad I don't have young children to worry about. I feel so much admiration for those of you who do have small kids. I love my grandkids, but they can drive me crazy. I watch my daughters boys when they go bowling. So for @ 4 hours every Friday night. I'm so glad when their parents come home. I use to be able to handle 13 kids at a time, now days those 2 are plenty.
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Why haven't I been reading this thread lately? Y'all have added dealing with kids on top of cheetos and drinking! More of my favorite things! I have one 20 year old off at school but was home for 3 weeks over holidays. He was driving me absolutely crazy but then redeemed himself by finishing a project (replacing a ceiling fan/light fixture) I'd started, without being asked. Which reminded me that the high school junior and freshman still at home will grow up, too.
I get small samples of empty nesting when the teenagers are off most of the week-ends with friends and I'm left solo. It ain't too bad!
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On the topic of power surges -- anyone else get them just at night? I never have them during the day (yet), but have 2 or 3 at night where I wake up sweating and have to kick off the covers. Some nights worse than others, trying to detect a connection or pattern.
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I have power surges at night all the time and a couple during the day, but more so at night.
About kids, semester exams this week. My 14 will the 15 this month, great kid but gota keep on him about grades now that he is in high school. Three more years, and I am on Femara to boot. Will it go by fast enough or to fast, he's my only one. Kudos to all you young grandmothers.
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Candy, I get them at night. Sometimes they are grade A with sheets soaked (only maybe 1/month), the rest of the time more like very hot flushes involving losing the covers and letting the fan blow on me (maybe 1-2/night). Ugh, and I was all done with them 7-8 years ago. Sigh.
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I do get more flashes at night and I don't know why!! I am careful to not have foam near my body (way too hot) and have a light duvet that I just drape over my lap sort of and I still have to sleep with a towel on my pillow (feather)!!!! Maybe it's because we're not moving and creating an air flow?
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It just dawned on me that I have not had one hot flash since the BC was diagnosed?! WHat is up with that....
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get ready for an inferno one of these days annettek.
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I was having them multiple times throughout the day before the DX. It just hit me that I have not had one...I don't miss them! It is odd, they just became part of my life with menopause. It shows you how the abnormal becomes normal. We just adjust to whatever situation. The good, the bad and the ugly. Man, the first one I ever had I did not know what was happening. Totally flop sweat and heat....freaked me right out.
although, as I am a nutball, now I will worry that they have stopped...maybe I have estrogen from somewhere (god knows where it could be...) sigh, if it not one thing, it is another. Never thought I would worry about NOT having hot flashes....what a loon I am
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When I was first on the Aromasin I had awful night sweats...one night my husband woke up and touched me and commented that he didn't sweat that bad when he had a hard workout!!! The gabpentin helped with the night sweats....I sleep with just a sheet and a comforter on the bed...I get into bed with both on me, but the comforter gets thrown off during the night...also sleep with a cami at most...too hot otherwise....unless it is bitter cold outside, my bedroom window is always open....Since I stopped the AI's, the hot flashes aren't as bad...but also my core temp has gone back to more normal....
I'm one of those "older" moms....I am 54 and have 3 kids....12, 21 and 24.....my first was born 5 days before my 30th b'day.....I am so happy to have my youngest daughter still at home for several more years....I'm not ready yet to be empty nest!!! I will be 60 when youngest daughter graduates from high school...
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I will start tamoxifen when I finish with rads so I wonder if I will have hot flashes. A year ago I was having hot flushes evern though my hormone levels were ok, so started taking herbal phytoestrogens which I no longer take. They worked and the hot flushes stopped when I stopped taking them my hot flushes have not returned. My MO did another hormone test and says I am def premenapausal. It will be nice if I don't have the hot flash SE but I am probably just dreaming. I will start tamox in Feb.
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Im so lucky I dont have night sweats just yet. I do have the hot flashes, but not the sweats. Im not ready for those.
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I had hot flashes during perimenopause and early menopause, but never really bad. I usually called them warm flashes. They increased when I had my diagnosis, but I've hardly had any since the lumpectomy. In a week or two, I should be starting Tamoxifen--will find out for sure Friday when I see my oncologist--so we'll see if they return. I've never had any that soaked the sheets--I'm very glad about that, and I'm sure husband would be, too, if he knew enough about it.
I'm an empty nester, too. My sons are 27 and 24, and my younger one married a year ago, so I have a DIL, too. I finally got my daughter, and she's a keeper! I'm near the upper end of this age range--hope you ladies will let me stay around when I turn 60 in June...
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Lots have been commenting on the hot flashes...what I want to know is if there are some of you who have been on Tamox. for a while (like 6-12 mos.) who did have the flashes/sweats at first, but now you are no longer having them? That's what happened to me. The only theory I have is that the humidity of summer really set me off. Won't be able to test that for a few more months.
Supposedly, there is an adjustment period for the Tamox., and the S/Es get less noticeable, but it does not seem to be an exact science and it varies among women. One factor might be how much natural estrogen each individual is producing. Another factor could be how efficiently each person metabolizes Tamoxifen.
BTW, those of you who are getting ready to begin Tamox. might be interested to know that there is a test (CYP2D6) that can determine how well you metabolize Tamox. I wanted to know, since I was taking on the "risks" involved with Tamox., just how effective it would be for me. Turns out I am an extensive metabolizer. Some MedOncs like to say that "if you are getting the hot flashes, it's working" and that might be correct. If you have ins. that will cover it, why not get the actual lab test and know for sure, IMHO.
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susantm, you can hang on to that "ISH" for as long as you want. 0
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Paula,
I get the happy and mush thing. I was sure I was not going to be one of those crying moms at the gate when I dropped my oldest son at college last year and they did the "separation ceremony" -kids go through the gate and parent cannot go through. WRONG! I was separated from him at the opening speeches in the crowd and did not get to say good bye and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I actually had to get tissues and a hug from the upperclass students standing at the ready! I was pleasantly surprised when DS actually circled back after the classs photo to say good bye before I had to leave to get my flight...It was time for him to go but did not mean I was not sad as well. I have a few more years before the next and last one heads out as he is a Freshman in high school.
Elimar - we are still fabulous even if not title of the thread!
Love the meditating dog...
have a good night all.
Jean
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60ish can go up to 69 right Elimar/
Im also turning 60 this May.
We are maturing together.
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it's attitude not age right!
My flashes were more night sweats too.
Jean
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