MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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We are over half way to Annapolis and our youngest daughter's wedding this weekend!!!!
Think happy weather thoughts, it's over a footbridge & under a gazeebo w/harpist.
I am sOoooOooooO exciteda....but stir crazy in the car. LOL0 -
Nikki....don't feel any guilt. None of us want our children to remember us as being ill. My youngest is 17, almost 18 and a sr in highschool. All summer as decisions were being made, I kept insisting that I not be sick during my daughters sr. year. Everyone thought I was nuts as she is almost grown. I was just insistant. But then reality sets in and I am going to be sick through at least the beginning of her sr. year (my surgery was her first day of school).
Last week driving home from a doctor's appt, I started to cry because I finally realized why I was so upset at being sick during her sr. year. My husband's mom was dieing of stage 4 BC when we were seniors--she died in Feb just after his 18th birthday and just before mine. It is the enduring memory we have of our senior year.....I don't want my daughter to associate her senior year with me being sick. I am much more fortunate than my future MIL was....my BC was caught early.
In the end, we have to deal with the hand that is dealt and do the best we can. And we have to try to help our children down this road with us. They travel it to, even when we try to protect them. Our entire family is on this journey and we must allow them to travel it as they can.....it will be healing to all of us. Hugs to you Nikki and to all of us that are dealing with this same issue...BC doesn't just attack us, it attacks everyone we love. Sometimes that is worse than the disease itself in my opinion.
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ReneeJean,
How sad for your Husband and you, to lose her at such a young age. No wonder it has been hard for you this year with your daughter being that same age. You're right women don't just get BC their entire family does.
faithandfifty,
How wonderful for you, have a safe trip and I promise to pray for great weather for you if you pray for good weather for our "Race for the Cure" this Sunday. Enjoy, Enjoy this special time !
elimar,
I'm so glad your getting closer to the end, You know my thoughts and prayers are always with you. (Can ya feel my vibes in the room ?)
To all you "Middles"..............
keepin ya in my thoughts and praying for smooth sailing for everyone.
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Elimar,
Luckily he ones that disap...were stolen were not my favorites. I lost the one that said "Mom" (the artist put it on upside down, I know this because everytime I looked down at my chest, what I read was "WOW"! I also lost the one that was a self portrait of me in a bikini, I would rather not remember that image!
Faithandfifty, have a special weekend, enjoy every last detail!
And to everyone in "the middle", enjoy every last detail of everything your are doing. You'll be amazed at what you notice. Have a good weekend.
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first off- i am now curious about honeycrisp apples..never heard of them...
oh well can't fight it..weather here is sooo beautiful
Our entire paper was pink this am...welcome to pink month..
fall favorites...hot cup of coffee..hot apple cobbler and my cozy fleece blanket...add a good book and mmmmmmm..of course NOW the cozy fleece blanket is going on..coming off....going on...LOL!
Have a great Friday and a super weekend!
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sorry that post is out of sync..posted before i realized there were three more pages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Elimar and nebraska- hang in there!! There are better days ahead!
Love to all
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Two of my kids got married this year and that is one of the reasons I went straight to double mast without recon. I didn't want their memories to be that of the year "mom was sick". Geez, what we do for our kids!
My daughter and I had both had reductions and she was quite shocked at my diagnosis because for some reason she thought we couldn't get cancer after the surgery. Doi!
Just after my diagnosis I saw her post on Facebook that she "had to be brave". I called her and told her she didn't have to be brave! That I cried too....
Someone had a signature line that read: You don't have to be brave, you just have to show up.
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Off to my 25th HS reunion....I'm a middie now!
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Hi all! I am happy to have celebrated another birthday this month. I am also happy to be a member of the middles. A year ago I was not sure how long I would be on this earth but thanks to great medical care and support I have made it to another milestone in my life. A huge amount of my support came from this site. Thanks to you all!
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Lydia - Happy, happy October birthday to you!
ReneeJean - So true about bc attacking those we love as well. The hardest thing for me was the guilt I felt at putting my DH and three kids through all this worrying. I was so fortunate that my hubby's brother checked on him weekly to see how he was handling all of it.
Nebraskagrandma - Have fun at the Race. I'll be doing it tomorrow morning in Charlotte (hoping for no rain!). I had hoped to run it, but my 15 year old daughter has a foot injury so I'll be walking it with her instead. I know it will be very emotional for my whole family.
Have a great weekend, middies (not biddies)! Enjoy the fall weather, wherever you are!
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Wow many of you are running or walking tomorrow have fun.I have made a promise to myself next year I am joining in.
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Renee-Jean, I absolutely understand the issue of not wanting to be sick during your daughter's senior year. I was diagnosed in the late winter of my daughter's senior year, about 6 months after my sister-in-law (whose youngest daughter is two weeks younger than mine) had died from breast cancer. Luckily, we had done all the campus visits before my diagnosis (they would have been physically taxing as I recovered from surgery).
Not wanting to "look sick" was one factor of many in my turning down chemo, which has turned out to be the best decision I could have made. I think my diagnosis also influenced her decision to attend a college close (but not too close) to home. That has also proven to be a good decision for her.
The hardest part of this whole experience was seeing the fear in my husband's eyes. You are right, BC affects every member of the family, not just the one who is diagnosed.
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Eliana -- I was 48 when diagnosed with IDC in April, and I too wasn't worried at all in advance of the biopsy -- I've had lumps periodically since I was 18, and they always went away after my period. So the diagnosis was quite a shock to me. No family history of breast cancer, either.
I found out after my 6/12 surgery that it was tubular. I just finished radiation, and as far as I'm concerned, it's over and there's nothing more to worry about. Those of us with tubular carcinoma are really very very lucky. I didn't have to do chemo and my medical oncologist agreed that my decision to decline tamoxifen was rational. The chances of recurrence with tubular carcinoma is extremely low.
I'm not going to tell you that I didn't have a roller coaster of emotions, I absolutely did. But at our age and with our diagnosis, we're in a very good place.
There's a terrific book called Five Lessons I Didn't Learn From Breast Cancer, and I strongly recommend it. It helped me frame the issues surrounding diagnosis and treatment.
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I just want to say hello, my computer died monday so needless to say I am very happy to have a new one (lots to catch up on), I am so old I had one made with Windows XP and and no free trial bs to figure out and click by mistake, just more of whatchamacallits (memory, bytes, bits, oh whatever) Hope everyone is happy and doing well ♥
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Those with high school seniors have struck a chord with me. I've gone on two campus visits over the summer, between surgery and rads, and am now trying to take it easy by just "helicoptering" while son gets his applications filled out. I'm just happy that my kids are old enough to do most things for themselves. I really don't have the energy right now.
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Five Lessons I Didn't Learn From Breast Cancer was pretty much the first thing I read - we left on vacation the day after my biopsy results were conveyed to me by PHONE, and I wasn't going to get a chance to learn more until we got back. We went to the Emerald Coast of Florida (panhandle), as a family, but my destination was the aforementioned Island of Denial. It's a snarky sort of book. One of my favorite lines was "If you think breast cancer is a gift, you are NOT invited to my birthday party."
My diagnosis last year reminded me that the end result of childrearing is to end up with self-supporting adults who have their own lives. So over the last year, I have spent a lot more time delegating and training, rather than being a handmaiden, which I apparently had become without realizing it...
I hope everyone is having a great weekend. The weather here is GREAT right now! Sorry, Elimar.
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Hi, I am Jean age 53. Have had a lumpectomy Sept 1 and SN biopsey, went back sept 23 for reexcision plus AND. Got preliminary report yesterday of so far so good. Waiting for final lymph report.
I have first onc visit Oct. 15. Any idea how long actual chemo takes to start after that? How many and what tests usually take place before it begins?
valeriekd - I too am from MA and going to Gillette Center. Do you have any advice? Good and bad things you have learned about the place?
Thanks, Jean
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Hi Jean Glad to "meet" you. we don 't have the same profile but for me they did a bone .liver and brain scan to check for mets and b/c my ekg was slightly off(Ithink) I have the meeting w/ the cardiologist tomorrow. I believe they r not doing andramyacin b/c of that - just taxotare and cytoxan.
I met w/ the onc and chemo was scheduled for 2 weeks after that (10/8).
Good things r that everyone has been very kind, compassionate and human BUT it is a huge medical mecca so sometimes you or loved one needs to be assertive but people respond w/o any payback or coldness. They seem to know what we're going thru The other good thing is that the center has combined all the great cancer ctrs in Boston into one center so u can be sure u r getting the latest good stuff and trials r always available. Advice: u get alot of phone #s to keep track of so have a special place so u don't have 2 go thru long switchboard process- i'v already lost 1/2 of mine - and they have a great resource room so u don't have to buy a lot of books to get alot of knowledge.
Lastly, I work w/ alot of women in the med prof and 2 have travelled this oh so scary and bumpy road and they chose Gilette - God bless, Valerie. PM me anytime.
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Hi Ladies - hereditary bc FORCE pioneer needs our votes:
The Jewish Community Hero Award honors those making strides to repair the world, starting in their own communities. Our very own Sue Friedman, founder of FORCE, has been nominated as a Jewish Hero. One hero will have a chance to win up to $25,000 in funding for their project. However, simply making it into the finals will help us raise much needed awareness of hereditary breast and ovarian cancer in this very important community. Please vote between now and October 8th to help make this happen AND to thank Sue for creating the FORCE community for us and our families.
So, VOTE, forward to a friend, post to your facebook page... help get the word out. You may vote from each email address once per day.
http://www.jewishcommunityheroes.org/nominees/profile/sue-friedman/
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Well Ladies I did my first Race for the Cure and now I feel as if I will be wore out for the next couple of day's damn that Arimidex! It was very awesome and it choked me up more than once. It was wonderful to see all the survivors out there along with all the people that love us. I wish I had been more pro-active so that I could have met Paula! I am home in Omaha now and will be hanging out with my family and friends until next Saturday. Hope you all are doing well.
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Rads # 29 --- zzzzzzzzzzzz, wake me up when it's over
Yes, the rads treatments are still pretty boring, but that's not why I am asleep. All the Tx are catching up with me as I enter the final week. Did a lot of sleeping on the weekend, just not sure how much was from rads vs. cold virus. Aaaachooo!
I'm still in my white cotton bra, which is now a carnival of Sharpie colors. My skin is not blistery at all. It's six shades darker, dry and somewhat leathery which is just a little gross, but it's not like my breast is a stunt double in "Zombieland" or anything. My breast could definitely audition for whatever film sequel they are on in "The Mummy" franchise! I'm not saying my breast can act, but it does have a SAG card. (Groan...pardon my lameness!)
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The tiredness will continue for a surprisingly long time after the treatments end. Yay on being so close to the end and for doing so well!!!! Are you having boosts yet?
You may also experience some peeling AFTER you finish. I never had blistering, but my skin got annoyed and peeled off for a while afterward anyway. I suppose the healing and skin replacement are slowed by the radiation, so it takes a while for the new skin to regenerate and cause the old skin to flake off.
What's been sort of funny for me, almost a year out of radiation, is that the skin on that breast became really dry and I was clueless as to what to do about it. It was flaky and itchy. There's nothing sexier and more subtle than trying to deal with a really itchy breast at, say, a band booster meeting. Magical. I tried cortizone cream and neosporin and leftover special hybrid cream from back during the actual rads days and probably other things, to no avail. I saw the PA in my medical oncologist's office and mentioned it to her, and she pointed out that cortizone cream might work short-term for the itching (it did), but then it would thin the skin and so it would actually make it worse (it was). She mentioned "emolient" lotions. So I tried my normal lotion - Jergens Ultra Healing - I use it on my hands and arms and legs and feet on a regular basis - and ta-da! One week later, the dryness and the itch are gone! I had never in my life before put lotion on my breasts, so using a normal lotion just was not an idea available to my brain. So sad.
Edited to add that this means that my breast, formerly flaky and scary, will no longer compete with Elimar's breast for any roles in mummy movies. You can have 'em.
Today's weather commentary: I am LOVING the cool, damp fallness we're having, but it keeps raining on my poor marching band child, and THAT is getting old!
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elimar i know you get just slightly whacked over weather reports, but i ask on bended knee for an exception so that i might wax on about the weather that we had for my dear daughter's outdoor wedding this past weekend.
weather does indeed play a role in outdoor weddings, after all.
it was glorious -- the weather i mean.
we are very simple people & she had a very simple wedding
and it was simply gorgous
(in large part due to the weather)
see for yourself...... that's me in my awesome MOB -- mother-of-the-bride dress, reading a greeting from my parents...... squeezing my lips together, cuz i was gettin' all overcome in the moment. but i pinched my toes, squeezed my lips, took a deep breath & was able to continue
how blessed to be able to participate & witness such a joyous occaision:
See how blue the sky shines?
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Oh Faithy, I'm so glad the weather not only behaved but was glorious. What a beautiful wedding photo.
I've been slow to get back on my feet from the last chemo so I'm out of touch. Someone asked about honeycrisp apples - I just know you can only get them starting in September because they are one of the few apples that cannot be stored under refrigeration. This is because of their high sugar content. Oh, so that's why they are so deliciously crunchy crisp and sweet!
I have white, fuzzy stuff coming out of the top of my head! How long before it's actually hair? Or, heaven forbid, is this my new hair? If so, I'm in trouble.
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faithandfifty, yes, just slightly. You get the special occasion exemption for this one. It looked to be a lovely day and you look very stylish.
Waiting to hear from a few more that were doing the Race for the Cure this past weekend???
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Fiathandfifty - what a beautiful photo! It looks like a gorgeous wedding, with weather to match!
I did the Race in Charlotte, along with over 14,000 other people. The weather was wonderful, and rather than being emotional, which I expected, I just felt extremely blessed to be surrounded by my family and friends and to be able to walk three miles. Considering how I was feeling six months ago, it was amazing. Our small team, "Saving Second Base", walked with pink ribbon baseball hats and huge inflatable baseball bats, and we raised over $1000. I'll attempt to post a photo later.
Honeycrisp apples are my favorite, by the way! They are a little pricier than the other apples, but well worth it!
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Glassist - The white fuzz comes first, in two months I felt comfortable going topless (my hair was very short though). Another 2 months later lots of wave in back. Now 5 months later short, soft, curly hair that everyone (especially DH) like to ruffle. It just seems so long and then overnight your have hair, and same overnight curls. Kinda weird, but a good weird.
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Faithandfifty - thank you for sharing! You look fabulous! And your daughter selected bridesmaid dresses that truly CAN be worn again!
carolinachick - LOVE the team name! Very creative!
PattiB - So going topless distracted people from your hair? I know, you meant "without a hat," but I couldn't resist.
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FaithandFifty...what a beautiful wedding picture and what a wonderful blessed day!
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Hi,
Read this book too, and it was really helpful.
Jan
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