MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Annette, I loved that post. It's when we bare our souls in here and show all sides that we become real friends. Your post moved me, and I'm sure it will move others. Thank you.
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I'm going to print & save your freeform brain essay annettek-Thank you!
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Well said, and heart-spoken Annette.
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Keep striving to thrive annetek, that's all we can do. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
That made me think of another perception issue...(this is pertaining to Stage I, II & III.) After all the slash, burn and poison, do you say "I HAD breast cancer" or "I HAVE breast cancer?" I always say HAD, but who knows what's actually there on the cellular level for the rest of my life. (For the brief time when I did say "have," I noticed all the stares to the chest and the pity looks trying to discern if I was wearing my real hair or not, and it just does not feel right to keep using the present tense. In saying "had," using the past tense, I do feel like I have moved past that event in my life and, in that respect, "survived" it.
I totally understand the reluctance to label oneself a "survivor." For those that do, a statistical portion will disprove the label. Everytime I use the term about myself, I can only hope that it bears out to be the truth.
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As a stage IV, I say I have breast cancer even though at the moment to my knowledge I am NERD. Each and every day that I wake up I call myself a ' survivor' because I have survived for another day and I am well.
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chrissy - Very well said.
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Thanks Annetek. I was finding myself wondering last night the very same thing last night. I have finished chemo and now what or who am I now. What do I do or dont do. Thanks so much this really hits home and helps so much.
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Thanks for sharing what was in your hearts ladies. I say "had" knowing full well that I am actually in remission, but the general public seems to know only have or had. I freely say I had BC to others as for myself I would like to do my part to educate and open dialog so that others become more aware. I remember when everyone whispered the word "cancer". That is just my personality as I am a nurse and an educator and a very chatty chick
I hope everyone finds peace and a little sunshine this weekend.Hugs and Love,
Linda
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All my friends knew I had B/C, most acquaintances too. I was pretty upfront about it. Like, when I was getting rads (during soccer season) and people inquired, "What have you been up to?" I did mention my daily treatments. Others, that I may not have seen during that time, would use the greeting, "How have you been?" and I might reply, "Did you know that I had B/C last summer?" By saying that, I opened the door for their questions if they had some and I never felt like anyone was prying. The ones who did not want to go there usually said something like, "But you are o.k. now, right?" and I would say that I was and we would go to another subject.
That's a long-winded way of saying I'm chatty too and went about it like OG56 did.
It is kind of funny now, when people say, "How are you doing?" there IS the unspoken second half of that sentence and the overtone of "How are you doing "with your B/C?" I can notice it, but it never made me feel uncomfortable.
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Annette your freeform annette brain was lovely and thanks for sharing what was in your heart and mind. I am sure we can all admit to ourselves we have thought the same along this jouney. Wishing you all the best.
Elimar I couldn't agree more, the ones (friends or family or acquaintances) who want to ask questions but don't want to upset you start off by asking 'How are you?" with this sad moon faced look hoping that you will open the door to let them ask what they really want. Most times I do for it is very healing for me to talk about it, so I usually get more out of it than they do. But I really wish we could all take the attitudes of kids.
I have to share a story about the boys in my son's 5th grade class (he goes to an all boys academy). They sent me a lovely bundle of homemade get well cards shortly after my BMX. I have read those cards so many times when I was down or just needed to smile. They all knew what type of surgery I was having for we have been very honest with our sons. I wanted to thank them in a way they would like, so two Fridays ago I brought a pizza lunch to school for his class (including soda and icecream, I am sure the teacher was thrilled with me by the middle of the afternoon). I was bracing myself for this was the first time I was back at the school and I didn't know what type of questions/stares I would get from teachers and moms. My shock came not from them but the kids. Very openingly without hesitation, the questions came, how did you find the lump, how do they cut off your boobs (lots of laughter when the boy used the word), are you going to die. While some of the questions were hard, I talked from my heart and answered as best I could. They then went on with what they were doing and didn't give it another thought.
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Elimar - I agree with you. Talking about this journey is very healing. Along the way, I have come across other BC survivors that are also willing to share their stories - this is comforting to know that we are all in this together and we truly are much stronger than we think we are.0
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Faulkh- children are so honest and true- it is a thing of beauty to behold- they do not know what is politically correct thank god! Cut right to the chase.
Elimar & Jo-i find myself talking so much to those who have neglected their exams and just females in general. The more we learn about this insiduous disease and all the little warning markers are body;s gave off in retrospect (vit d levels, early menses, elevated iron,HRT for some, birth control pills, etc) I am afraid I have become a bit of a NAG hahahaha...a dear friend of 57 - a bright intelligent woman is refusing to go in for an exam- a well woman exam-she is beyond scared and said "There is no way I would have the same early stage as you, you were so much healthier than me when you found out and the odds won't have it and I can't bear it" So, instead of pushing I am trying to nudge gently. She is one of many. Fear stops many. As for those along the way who have had BC-it is a split. Some I love to talk with and others, well, I cannot for whatever reasons (Mainly for being so disagreeable over my choice of a BMX for early stage) I would never presume to tell someone that they were wrong wrong wrong for what surgical option they chose, despite what I might think. Always careful to couch in terms of what was right for me. But for some, they cannot help themselves and it is a turnoff. As are those who will not talk about anything else. One I felt for and listened to a lot, for I thought perhaps she had nobody else to talk to...recommended BC.org to her...but then I realized it had become her identity and being here would only make one of many....she wanted (wants) to be the poster child for BC and is always hitting everyone up in office for cash (unrelentingly) along with a cubicle drenched in pink. Became angry when after thanking her I put away a big pink sign thingy she put on my desk....said I needed to make people aware. I said they are, or those I chose to be aware are. Different strokes for different folks.
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Real women, telling real stories...Love It, Faulkh!0
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Gina - That is soooooo cute!
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Thanks everybody for your encouragment & support, I been having a blue day.But you Middles are so Awesome! Love ya all!
Hope everyone is doing well! Thinking of all of you & Prayers to all of you going thru test & doc appt. Hope you all having a great weekend {{{hugs}}} Gina
P.S. My left Mastectomy is this Tues May 17th & I have decide to wear the brightness Lipstick I can find! LOL!! I just loved the book & Movie "Why I wore Lipstick to my Mastectomy"
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Gina - Sending best wishes and a speedy recovery on your surgery Tuesday. Love the lipstick idea. Also sending a big hug and hope you get to feeling better soon.
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Gina- so glad your day got a bit better from the "middies"- here is hoping all goes well and your lipstick shines brightly through...
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Our Marybe is in a contest...check it out AND VOTE! You need a Facebook Acct. (or helpful family member with one.) Wouldn't it be wild if one of our "sisters" won?
DELTA SKYMILES - MEMORABLE MILES
Her entry photo is her and a friend on their way to M D Anderson Ctr.
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I voted earlier today and was # 206 - just checked again and it is now at 220...... I think that we CAN vote daily, but contest closes on May 16th - so not much time left!
((Gina)) - wishing you all the best for your surgery next week. You will be in my thoughts and prayers! Love the lipstick idea!
*edited for typo
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Vote TODAY and TOMORROW (and MONDAY, if you still can.)
Also, welcome to WEEKEND MYSTERY PIC. Would anyone care to guess what that is a photo of at the top? If no one gets it, I will reveal on Sun. night. Sorry, no prize BUT, surely, amazing everyone else with your astute powers of observation will be reward enough, right?
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The inside a a shell??????
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Can I join in? I know so many of you from various threads and don't know why I haven't joined in earlier.....maybe I forgot I was 44, almost 45.
Jenn
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Yes, please do join in, jenn3! Of course you realize that first you must read all 366 back pages, AND there will be a quiz, don't you? I'm kidding. Welcome!0
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Welcome jenn - This is a supportive, fun bunch of gals.0
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Hi Jenn, welcome aboard.
Eli - I'm thinking it's an aerial shot of ... I'm not sure what yet!!
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Grand Canyon?
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Hurricane?
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Cleaning chemicals spilled on a rug and the colors ran???
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O man I just cant wait until Sunday night to know. After all these years I still havent learned to wait, lol.
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