MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Paula, congratulations on your 1-year anniversary. I know we're all envious but very proud and happy for you.
SAB, yeah!!!!
OK, obviously my attempt to attach a photo didn't work. Can someone tell me how to attach a photo that you've taken and is now in your Pictures file? Thanks!
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Good Morning everyone!
madpeacock glad you got thru the waiting and now have a reprieve.
Yes I am a Cobbler and not some fruit filled pastry. LOL I fell into this job while trying to figure out "what to do with my life". I was a stitcher at a canvas bag factory part time so I worked with industrial sewing machines already. I worked for the older man that owned the shop for 8 years before he wanted to retire. Then I took it over at the end of 1981. I had a storefront "downtown" until I had my first child, then realized I had to figure out how to be 2 places at once. So bought a home in 1986 on a main road and moved the shop into the walk in basement. I hit the real estate market just right. And have been providing a service to the public ever since. I've had to cut back on work abit (closed this week) and not sure what new year will bring.
I am waiting for the call from doctor's office now!!!! I missed a call on my cell phone yesterday afternoon. The nurse said it looked like good news, but to call the office.I called like two minutes later and had to leave a message. Aghhhhhhhh! So now sitting here with 2 different phones beside me and trying to not to obsess. I don't want this to take over my life.
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SAB yeah for good results!
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Congrats on the good results SAB!!!
Have a question for the group - I have heard of NED but am not sure when that applies...Is it once we get thru the 5 yr follow-up period?
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macatacmv, For so many, having the surgery usually means asking "the boss' for time off, but being self-employed as you are, it's not a matter of using your "sick days;" you have to close up shop. That seems to put some added hardship onto the whole situation. As bad as it is to get a Dx right before Christmas, the timing seems good for you...like it might have been a slow week anyway, and maybe gives your family extra time to be home for you too. Now relax! That nurse was giving you a clue to stop worrying.0
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odie, "5 years" is not used in breast cancer. NED just means remission. So whenever you don't have cancer in your body, you're NED. No evidence of disease. Getting to the 5 year mark means nothing, except that you're 5 years older. Hate to be the bearer of bad news....
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Thanks for the clarification Barbe and the laugh....
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Just talked to the nurse on the phone. Yes good news! Clean margins, no node involvement. Now can meet the team and go on to next steps. No more surgery right now!!! So feeling lighter. Post op appt will be the 9th. I realize this is a long journey, but I take comfort that others have gone thru this and are going thru this the same time as me also.
elimar: The business has been thu a lot over the years. My customers seem to ride out the storms with me. So we'll see how this goes, a day at a time.
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I always counter Barbe by saying, cancer-free at the 5-year mark is still something to celebrate; but I always agree with Barbe that ER+ recurrences after the 5-year point are still all too common.
I think the real distinction is whether the ER+ woman happens to be a Grade 3, or a Grade 1 or 2. To get a Grade 3 designation, the mitotic rate of the tumor has to be, at least, a score of 2 and is often a 3. So, having a faster growth rate, this type would have a recurrence appear sooner than a Grade 1, and many Grade 2's.
ER+ women are given Tamox or AI, with four outcomes. 1) Recur in the first 5 years or not OR 2) recur after the first 5 years or not. In instance 1) Hormonal therapy not effective, or not completely effective, some do recur. This would have Grade 3 women recurring early on in the 5-year period, Grade 1 & 2 occurring somewhat later in the 5-year period and beyond. Instance 2) Hormonal therapy is effective. All Grades staying NED through the 5-year period or hormonal therapy, but as the benefit wears off after the 5-year period some do recur. The Grade 3 women who will recur will most likely do so earlier than the Grade 1 or 2.
What I am trying to say, by the examples, is that the 5-year mark is probably more meaningful for those with Grade 3 aggressive cancers, less with Grade 2, and the least with Grade 1, which can take a long time to rear it's ugly head again. The hormone therapy may be a "fix" for some, merely a postponment for others.
I will be celebrating at the 5-year point, and happy to go off the Tamox. BUT (big butt) I will be all the more watchful after that time.0 -
mac, Yay! That is good news. One more step forward.0
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Mac- Hooray!!!!!!
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This five-year discussion has me thinking again about something that occured to me recently. Since you are forever waiting for the other shoe to drop and recurrences can happen even 20 years later, you can never really say that you HAD breast cancer, can you, because you will always HAVE breast cancer? Considering I am only four months into this, that sounds depressing. i have had surgery, I have had radiation, and I am faithfully taking my tamoxifen, eating a healthy diet, and exercising, but I am only safe until my next mammogram/scan/test results.
Hmmph. This sucks.
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madpeacock--you've hit the nail on the head, dear. We all have to find a way to cope with the fact that the beast can rear it's ugly head at any time, no matter what treatment we get or what lifestyle changes we make. We can pray and hope that we are in the larger percent that never see it again, but we cannot know if we are in that group or the other. Somewhere here on the boards someone wrote that we are always only one test away from Stage 4. It's a hard thing to learn to live with, and there is no one way to cope with it. I can tell you that it becomes less of a "front burner" thought over time. I choose to say I HAD bc. I choose to say I am cancer free. Untl something gets big enough to find, I'm going to act as if it isn't there. That's how I'm coping. You'll find your way, too.
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mac woohoo no more surgery
madpeacock-I don't remember much about my first visit with my RO but the one thing I do remember his him telling me that breast cancer is not curable. They can get us into remission with treatments and we can do everything we can to minimize our recurrence but there are no guarantees. I came away feeling like this sucks. I am however learning to live with it much better.
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NativeM, It might have been Barbe who said we are all just a scan away from being Stage IV (at least that is where I heard the saying.) I say I am cancer-free too, and I do talk about it in the past tense most of the time, hoping that time does not make a liar out of me.
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I will always think I became cancer-free the moment the surgeon cut the IDC grade 1 stage 1a, 9mm tumour out of my lefty. 13 days and counting on my next attempt at remission! My ex-DCIS righty is still fine, 5 years later.
Happy New Year!!!!0 -
I too refer to I Had Cancer. I like the way it sounds.
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Mac that is good news!!! Time to party!
I like to say also that I had cancer. I know that we are all just one scan away from being stage four, but I cant let that stop me from moving forward. My mind is a dangerous place sometimes and the more I focus on the dread the less is spent enjoying the day that I am in now. I have to put my focus on that or this BC will eat me up.
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Congrats on the good scans Mac..
Seems my question started an interesting conversation. At my initial visit, my MO told me I am considered "cured" absent any change but that if it recurs I am treatable but no longer curable. Based on everything I have learned to date, I kinda felt in my heart that may not necessarily be the case. Like Paula said, the mind can be a scary place so I guess I just have to keep putting one foot in front of each other....
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Paula, I think my feelings most closely mirror yours. I've always said I 'had' breast cancer since my surgery. I considered chemo and radiation turbo chargers. I firmly believe that our minds have a strong place in our healing and general health, so I choose to keep my mind happy with that thought! Yes, I could have a recurrence, or have a new dx, but I could also be in all sorts of accidents or contract other illnesses. For today, I show no evidence of cancer in my body, and I revel in the fact I've been saying that for 6+ years. I wish that, and more, for all of us.
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Mac-the best of all news! Happy New Year!
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still feel like i;m waiting for the shoe to drop, 1st 6 month post surgery mammogram meant an mri and stereotactic which revealed adh and papillomas along with the calcifications thats started it all.
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saying hello! im 57 -almost 58--just diagnosed two weeks ago and today got the word by phone TODAY that lymph nodes ARE involved...no clue "what the plan" is from here....and it's a holiday weekend!
don't know ALL of the particulars of my dx-just that i have bc and i have node involvement....
living in michigan-had hoped to move to ohio for support/treatment but may have to stay here due to medicaid...no one can answer my questions today-everyone started the holiday weekend early i guess.....
anyhow-hi!
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I know it took me along time to get there. Heck it was just a few weeks ago that I felt that way. I was telling my mom that I was just so tired of it all. I am really good at keeping secrets from everyone and didnt let them really know what was going on in my mind. Then it finally hit me that I dont have to worry so hard that its this day is all I have to focus on and that BC will always be a part of me. I just took the control of it instead of it controling me. It did take sometime to get to that point for sure.
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Juliet - ((hugs))
MargoM - Sorry you have to join us but hope you will find as much knowledge, power, and comfort in these boards as I have. We will be here for you as you continue to learn more.
I am about six months out from diagnosis, 4 months post surgery and just finished treatment absent Tamoxifen. I do feel like I expect the other shoe to drop but think as I continue to get used to my new norm, it will ease as I get back to living... Guess all things in good time...
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macatacmv - glad to hear your news!
lumpynme - welcome to the group - sorry you have to be here. You will find terrific encouragement, support and sharing of information. I hope you can get some answers soon as to where you are headed for treatment etc. It definately helps ease the stress a wee bit when you have some direction. Is a good idea to write down any questions that you have and take someone with you to any appointments. A second set of ears and someone to write down information is helpful.
Keep us posted!
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Welcome, Avensis! The numbers do favor the early stage, low grade Dx, and that is probably why some of us can move past that feeling of dread. We never really know what is going on inside, but you just make a choice not to live in fear that is will coming back.
Lumpynme, hello! Well, don't know what you wrote but you are welcome to post again.
Paula66, Yeah, we can't control if it is coming back or not, but we can control our day to day fear of it happening. Agree with you there. And I'm a control freak, so it took me a while to get to that sentiment also.
barsco1963, What treatmentare you on now? How's it going...did you have shrinkage or remission yet? I know you are outnumbered by early-stagers on this thread, but thank you for bringing your perspective HERE. You were Stage IV right a Dx, and it was only some mos. ago, but you have probably met (on the threads) other women who have been having treatment for years. We have been talking about living (supposedly) without cancer and trying to get to that place of non-fearful daily living. That is HARDER, yet possible, when living with cancer. Or so I have read what some women do post about it. It amazes me that many Stage IV women don't have the daily dread, and it's not denial, or anything like that. If they are feeling relatively healthy and pain-free, it seems like some just choose not to let the cancer take over their lives. I wonder if I could do that? What's your philosophy for coping on a daily basis?
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It was me that said that about being one scan away from stage iv.....its true! It depends on what reaction I want as to whether I say I have or I had cancer. Have to remind a lot of women that is why there ae runs for a CURE!!!!!
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I have been away for awhile again. Sorry I missed so much news and thrilled so much GOOd news! Paula, HAPPY one year! Celebrate that one! SAB...I was thrilled to read your good news as well. MadPeacock and all others i may forget, so glad things are better for you!
I am having another "scare" and I think this is what I hate most about cancer. During PT last week for my neck I developed serious lower back pain. My therapist attempted to adjust my back, last Thursday and this Tuesday. By Tuesday night I could barely walk and the pain was so horrible not even Percocet helped. I took an Ambien just before 2:00 AM and the pain kept me wide awake. I fianlly was able to doze off about 5:00 and only slept until a little after 7:00. The pain was still so bad I literally laid on the couch ALL day, alternated heat/ice and took more pain meds. It calmed down enough that I went to PT on Thursday. I told her about my back and she went to talk to her boss. She came back and worked only on my neck. I mentioned that I was seeing my PCP today and she said I should just ask him for a script for my back therapy. My husband overheard this and told her he is not comfortable with anyone touching my back again without so much as an x-ray having been done. She didn't say much of course.
So I went home and called my oncology nurse. I wondered if there was any chance the Arimidex could cause this sudden onset of back pain. She said no, not what i described. When she found out i was seeing my PCP today she said I need to talk to him about ordering an MRI. She said personally she would not let anyone touch my back without one.
So I went early this morning and talked to my doctor. I told him about the back pain, he asked a lot of questions and when I mentioned the MRI he stopped typing in the computer and looked at me and said he totally agreed one is needed. Then he said he has always shot straight with me, never minced words. I told him I knew that. He told me that frankly he is very worried about this. He said normally an MRI takes 2-3 to order; he was putting an order in for STAT. He said he will be on vacation for the next three weeks and he feels very badly that he will not be able to review the MRI with me. He got it scheduled for this Wednesday and scheduled a different doctor to go over it on the 10th. He said that he will worry about me while on vacation. Rut Roh...that didn't sound good! I told him to go, have fun, no worries, but he said he would be worried. He hugged me when I left.........
So thinking they will find nothing, of course! But still it is in my head, you know? We all know the fear this damn disease breeds.
Anyway, pocket parties for me on the 4th and the 10th. Claire will be so so busy!
Love, hugs, and best news for all of you in the coming year!
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janis, i'll be there with you on the 4th and the 10th. we'll have a roaring good party!! good luck, my dear.
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