Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
Comments
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Kate and Denise- Thanks for the tips. I really appreciate the advice!
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So many poeple in this thread talk about have "headlights" after having nipple reconstruction. I've talked to my plastic surgeon about this because of course it's something that I don't want. He told me they will soften up in time and they will not be noticable. I hope this is true. I have thought about having the 3d nipple tattoing done instead but I think that I would just not feel complete. I want my breast to be as close as they can to real breast again. I feel horrible about myself with these tissue expanders-aka alien like boobs..LOL. 3 more days to wait for my exchange. I see my ps tomorrow and will talk to him again about this nipple thing.0 -
jkz - I hear you....don't worry, your PS is correct....the nips really do shrink and soften up over a few months....I'm just being impatient! Mine were just done in mid-May, and admittedly have shrunk close to 50%. When I was in to see him in early July, he said they had more to shrink. So, don't worry too much...you won't have headlights forever......and hopefully you can be more patient than I am! You will love them, though....they really do make you feel more "real", especially when you hug people - that was the first thing my DH shared that with me when he first hugged me after my dressings came off. Good luck on your exchange this week!
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Thanks Val, I just feel that it is just such a decision to make but one I have to do for myself to make me feel complete more than anything else. How long after your exchange did you have your nipple recon? My PS said i will have to wait about 4 weeks. I hear all the women on here talking about dropping an fluffing and how it takes like months to happen. My thought is what if I get my nipples a month after the exchange and they end up uneven? Has anyone had this happen to them? Any feedback would be great:) Thanks ladies
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Jennifer: My nipples are barely perceptible. In most bras, they are a "no show." In the Freya and Chantelle C-Chic....just a little bit, but with a tee shirt, they show less than my natural pre MX nips showed and they do not change with the weather either. This "no-chill-factor" is a perk in my estimation.
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Deborah this is great newas for me.. Decisions decisions...I guess the "no-chill-factor" is a plus for us girls. Let me know how you make out with the bra from ebay. I wish I knew what size I was going to end up at and I would order a few for myself now. My insurance company covers nothing towards bras. They will only cover is you need a bra with a prosthesis. No luck for me..
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Glad you reminded me of the Amoena bra from Ebay. I received it and I have been sleeping in it the past two nights. It has the redundant pockets for prostheses - which I do not need, but it does have good lateral support, e.g., keeping the implants from falling laterally as I sleep. It is extremely comfortable.
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jkz - did your PS really say nips in 4 WEEKS post-exchange? That seems WAY too early. In most cases, it takes 3-4 MONTHS for the implants to settle; nips done too soon make for wonky nips. You might revisit that with your PS.
As for bras, there really isn't a reliable way to know your size after exchange, so it's best to wait to get a good PROFESSIONAL fitting to find out your size, probably a week or two after surgery.
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Well I went to see my PS today and surgery is scheduled for Wednesday. When scheduling my post-op appt I asked how soon after he would schedule the nipple reconstruction.. Stacy-(my ps staff person) who does all the scheduling said he usually schedules the nipple recon 6-8 weeks after the exchange surgery depending on the individual so we shall see.
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Okay, I have a question for all the bra wizards. I'm a lat flap lady, and have very little projection but big around foobs. When I was first measured by a fitter at Macys,(I don't have a Nordies close by, in fact Macys is 100 miles away) she put me in a 38 B. Well that was months ago and now I feel the B cup isn't big enough. The cup feels tight. I've tried on a few styles with a C cup but there is always extra fabric on the tips. Not a good thing. Also, I think I'm really a 36, not 38 band according to the directions on herroom. I'm about fifteen lbs overweight too.
So, my question, If I order from one of the sources mentioned, herroom, etc., Is there a brand suitable for these cantalopes. I've not even tried an underwire bra. My PS once said it didn't matter and another time he said no underwire, so I'm confused. My gut tells me I could go wired, no problem. I'm eight mo post exchange.So, any suggestions on where to start my on line search?
Thanks, Bobbi
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I'm really, really disappointed in the Reconstruction part of the message boards. Disappointed to the point that I shall seek my support for my possible upcoming revision elsewhere.
I didn't want to have to dig through page after page of posts to find replies to me if I asked a question on this thread, so I started my own to ask about good bras with large (think 46-48) band sizes for those of us who are larger women who have had reconstruction. I think two people answered and gave me some suggestions. I wound up finding something through trial and error on my own.
I think it is appalling that I have had issues with my reconstruction almost since day one but have not received help here when I asked for it. It's not fair that you guys seem to only read and respond to two or three threads or something that's obviously written by someone newly diagnosed and going through surgery and reconstruction for the first time.
I got a lot of support from bco when I was newly diagnosed, but you know what? Some of us do have ongoing issues, even years out from surgery. It sucks to feel like I'm pushed aside like this.
I really expected better from you guys. You let me down big time.
You won't be bothered by me on this particular board again. I'm obviously not welcome or wanted.
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Mrs Bee! Wow I don't think I've ever seen a post from you before... what issues are you having? Clearly you are upset... but hey we are all here to support one another... and while no one is required to do or say anything to anyone -- this is a free site of people sharing their experiences, nothing more, no requirements -- pretty much anyone who posts here in this thread gets a reply even if the reply is: gosh I don't know.
I'm sorry you're feeling neglected but now that you have my attention (for what it's worth) please do share what's up.
As for large band bras... the Anita bra comes in large bands (and is a very comfy bra).
Here is a link to a website that deals exclusively in larger bras:
http://www.biggerbras.com/catalog3-brands/anita.shtml
www.herroom.com is another good place to look... in their bra section you can search exclusively among plus size bras... which are DD and larger... if you are not a DD then browse the herroom site for comments from those who have purchased various bras; all commenters also give the size they wear so I find it helpful to read comments from women who wear MY size.
That's a place to start anyway.
It doesn't matter if you get a hundred replies... it only matters if you get a few good ones. Most of us here do not have time to read ALL active topics and so we DO wade through the threads that we've found helpful and wait for answers to our questions; yes it does take work and sorting but that is what we do for one another.
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I found the best thing to do on this site if no one responds to a thread you start is to ask the question in a thread that has had many replies like the one you just found
Also you might want to PM someone who seems particularly knowledgable about the topic you are seeking answers.
Please don't give up on this site. It's been a life saver for me.
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MrsBee - We are SOOOOO sorry that you are feeling neglected.....that certainly is one of the worst feelings to have. We are happy that you visited this thread, though I don't see that you've asked a question here before.....perhaps I missed a post by you while I was out of town? We really try our best to answer questions - or at the very least let you know that we don't know the answer. As Lilah said, many of us tend to keep up with the threads that we most identify with; there are just so many threads, it would be nearly impossible to keep up with them all. And as Claire said, PM's work wonderfully, if you can direct your question to a specific person. I did find the thread that you started, and it does look like you received some helpful suggestions, though I'm sorry if you felt that wasn't adequate.
We here on this thread truly hope that you'll stay in this forum......and btw.....you may live in my area.....
**Please note the link in the intro to this thread for biggerbras.com. I think it might offer you some help. I'll also work to add some larger band sizes to our list.
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Mrs. Bee...
What I see happening here.. is that you started a thread that no one saw. If you have been around BCO for some time.. you should have known about two threads...:and if you didn't, you do now.
EXCHANGE CITY
BRA 101
IMPLANT 101.
These three threads have been around awhile and have giving many women help.
It is VERY hard to start a new thread and have it found by a lot.
I found this to be true back in 08'. I must have started 15 threads that NO ONE saw... or very little did.
SO. I went looking for the help I needed.... and I PM'd those ladies whom I thought could help me. This worked.
I hope you get the help you need. Not one person, that I know on BCO, would blow you off. You need to post to the helpful sites MORE. So ladies who can help.. see you. Somehow you saw this thread... so go look up the ones I stated above... and POST POST POST.... you WILL get help.
Oh, and TRUST me sister, I know about STILL having issue's years after.... I figured I would have chemo.. surgery...rads.... implants... and then.... if I got to live... I would go on with my life.
It is just no so for many of us. Pain, bad surgeries, LE, PMPS... etc... the list goes on for many of us. You're not alone there either girl!
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Val, I clicked on the biggerbras link and it sends me back to BCO for some reason. By the by, your bra intro is really wonderful. I sure wish this thread had been around when I was desperately trying to find post-exchange bras!
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rats I can't get any of the last three links to work!
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Because I was not able to sleep at all last night due to the pressure my bra was putting on my incision sights, I decided to read this entire thread. WOW! Great info!
While I like my PS he has offered no suggestions for me regarding bra types other than NO UNDERWIRE. The no underwire thing is probably due to where my incision sights are located. They are inframammary, meaning they are on the underneath side of my breasts due to the thin skin problems I have had from the get go.
I was wondering if any of you ladies have bought the Bralette style bra from Sassybax? I think it was whippetmom who mentioned the Sassybax bras. I checked out the site and the bra seems to offer everything needed. Comfort, support without compression from the front, and no wires. I am a 34C.
Any other suggestions would be appreciated.
MrsBee - It took me a while to figure out how best to navigate this site as I am fairly new to the BC scene. I'm sure that since its inception, this site has become much bigger and popular than anyone had anticipated. It's clear that many friendships have been made here and that can be intimidating to newbies or those who don't frequent the site. Please keep trying. Estepp's advice to PM ladies who are going through a similar issue is a great idea. Only best wishes to you.
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I've tried on so many bra's and cannot find one that is comfortable enough to wear the whole day. These 700cc "puppies" seem so heavy and tightening the bra straps just makes things worse. I find that a wireless bra just doesn't look right - it gives me that "uin-boob" look and the wired ones hurt in the middle at the cleavage. I can't seem to keep a bra on for more than a couple of hours and am having to wear a sports-bra type daily. Are there any bra's out there that have extra padding on the wires at the center cleavage?
Terri
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Terri -- try the wire free Anita and Chantelle bras... I have one of each and they do not make a unaboob
And they are VERY comfy... especially the Anitas.0 -
Today is the new I'm going shopping for the new foobs! I was going to wait until the 17th when I check in with my PS again b/c there was a Nordstroms nearby, but I can't wait anymore. My old bras do not work and my old exercise bras are too tight. So, today is the day. I'm going to try out some of your suggestions and see what I end up with! Thanks, ladies!
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Good luck Dawn!!! Let us know what you end up buying
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OKAY......KRISTINKA IS CORRECT.....THE LINKS DO NOT WORK!!! I APOLOGIZE, BUT I THINK IT'S MY BROWSER (FIREFOX OR SAFARI).......I'LL TRY TO LINK THEM AGAIN....
OTHERWISE.....PLEASE JUST DO IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY AND TYPE IN THE WEB ADDRESS......
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Look, guys. I've been around since shortly before my diagnosis of BC in 2005. I do know my way around the boards. It's been my experience that, when someone starts a thread asking for help, as in "Can you help me, please?" (was the title of my thread), it gets attention.
Seriously, you guys need to look through thread titles and not expect everyone to post to an already VERY long thread when they are seeking answers.
I found some good bras ON MY OWN through Just My Size by being able to try them on for fit. I do think someone did suggest jms.com on my thread.
Anyway, I.AM.DONE. with you guys. I'll stick to the areas of the message boards where I feel most comfortable.
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There is an X at the top right of the page.
use it please
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Well.......I fixed the links.....at least I think I did......
I'll be happy to add the link for JustMySize, once I have a chance to look at the bras and/or hear some feedback regarding their quality.
If anyone has tried some of these brands, please let me know what you think: Glamorise, Just My Size, Platex, Elila......you can see some of the other brands at www.jms.com
Thank you!
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I came to this site after my exchange in tears because I was so disappointed. My natural breast hung down near my belly
and my foob up near my clavicle. I couldn't leave the house because no bra I had could make me look human. Thank goodness I found this site and this thread.Thank you all for your advise, kindness, and expertise.
I can truly say, "I love you all!"
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((((((Claire)))))) - Thank you, sweetie! I'm glad we have helped someone...... 0
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you've helped me too and I'm not in a bra yet!
just knowing what factors I need to consider later is helpful... it makes the transition so much less stressful.
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