Great saying about depression
Comments
-
Barb, Of course we all missed you and were worried. Till someone- 3-jays I think said she talked to you... Glad you and back and glad everything is all right.
Kate - YAY!!!
0 -
I had a pretty scary medical time! I'd had an emergency CT in January that picked up 3 masses in my abdomen and had to "watch and wait" for 3 months. Got them ultrasounded and then had to wait for the verdict!!!! Found out that there is a cyst on each of my ovaries; even though I had my right ovary removed and my left can't be found???? And my liver is too big. BUT, no sign of mets, so I'll take it. Was pretty nervous as my belly is kind of bloated and I was expecting bad liver news. Especially after Mary....
0 -
Barbe1958, Glad it doesn't appear to be any thing serious but keep a close watch anyhow.
0 -
Hey Ladiies thought I'd pop in before I head off to bed...My poor little niece 15 ...had a CONCUSSION
her second one in 6 months so she is benched for two more weeks. I was bummed cause I wanted to see her play LAX and Field hockey this weekend but not to be...although she is gonna visit me since she has timetomorrow is my LE therapist...follow up to baseline evaluation last year and I think I have a pinched nerve or scar tissue..my arm and hand have been feeling kinda weird like I slept on it for a year. Anyhow, I will post tomorrow after my appointment
TGIF!!!!
Diane
0 -
Welcome back, barbe!
0 -
good to have you back, Barbe.. and glad you're feeling good today, kate.. with all of this freakin stuff, its ONE day at a time, sometimes hours...
im feeling very helpless, and overwhelmed, but we did get back in our villa. two days early, and in a rush.. long story about the hotel...
so, it was by no means the neat, orderly way i had planned.. but wth!!!im home..
now, just a little bit a day, i'll get things back where they go.. phew hope we don't hafta do that for awhile again!!!
im beat. fell asleep at dinner tonigt, and didn't even GET dinner till midnite last nigt, we were asleep on our chairs in the liv rm.. im now officially as far behind as i was in Dec.. gggggrrrrrrrr3jays
0 -
Diane, sorry to hear about your niece. Maybe she needs to wear one of those head protectors?
3jaysmom: so glad you are home among your boxes! There is no place like home.
Barbe: how can you have a cyst on an ovary that was removed and another cyst on the left ovary that can't be found? You are a medical marvel! Sure missed you!
The idea of mets is so truly scary, especially after what happened with Mary. When I hurt my back two months ago I asked and got a back CT right away and I think the Dr thought I was crazy as I was happy it was just a slipped disc and pinch sciatic nerves bilaterally. I said as long as the 'c' word isn't used, I can go with it.
We all have the right to ask for any tests especially when an area of our body has hurt for longer than two weeks - just to make sure. Yes, many women who have had BC and those who had had elective DM's and are on anti estrogen medication will not have a recurrence or mets but for the percentage that it happens to, it's one too many. I go in next Tuesday for my first annual scan around my bumps (that's what I call my silicone implants) and it's starting to make me a bitch from hell. Sadly the only person around I can take it out on is my DH and I'm sure he doesn't have a clue unless I tell him. He of course didn't remember the 2 year anniversary of when I was diagnosed but I guess I really can't be mad at him as he doesn't even remember our wedding anniversary!
It's pouring down rain here, so I'm off to bed and to listen to the raindrops on the tin roof.......... sweet dreams would be nice.
0 -
Barbe ... of course you were missed. I've been in the hospital and rehab for 2 weeks for a total hip replacement and away from the boards. I, too, would like to know how you get a cyst on an ovary that doesn't exist!
Diane ... good for you!
0 -
Hadley I am going to stay with the new onc i just need to make sure he does bloodwork at least twice a year I will be happy with that...I mean what is the point of an oncologist/hematologist if they arent monitoring your blood. I get that my last cancer wasnt detected in my blood but mets is different. I am NOT paying one for doctor to feel me up when I already have my GYN PCP and BS doing breast exams everytime I see them. The thing is he is tops in his field here in Baltimore and he specializes in breast cancer where my previous onc specialized in GYN cancers.
Kathleen I forgot I wanted to mention that is so terrible about the rehab/nursing home facility. After my mother had her hip replacement she was hysterical with the thought of rehabbing in a nursing home. Mainly cause she thought we would leave her there ..but I have never seen one that patients were properly treated and it was clean. I think it goes back to mediical facilities worrying more about their profits than their patients. I feel like most people dont hire RN's any more and they hire these techs that its just a job not really their passion. TO me nurses seem more compassionate towards their patients. Its sad really no wonder a nursing home is an old persons worst nightmare. We ended up having a nurse come to my mothers house for rehab. The nursing homes/rehab facilities around here are not so nice.
Debbie I think our rain headed your way. It has been raining/pouring for days..and that is what our weekend is looking like too. I take ativan before my scans now I get so nervous. Plus with lefty having to me mammo by PUSHING back the implant ..I thought this is gonna hurt. SO ativan it was.
Ok I am off to my LE appointment ... I will be back later
Happppppy FRIIIIIDAAAAYY
Diane0 -
Barbe--you were certainly missed! Guess you were busy creating make believe ovaries while you were out. . .: ) Hadley and Diane, good for you to stand up to your docs.I wish I had that kind of moxey. I just go in and listen and then walk out kicking myself for not saying this or asking that. Not a good advocate for myself. Fortunately, I have a PCP that is overzealous for me, she's a testing monster. When she found out that the oncs won't scan until symptoms, she told me she would take care of that. Some people say its not good for a doc to be test crazy--but it works for my peace of mind.
debbie--rain on a tin roof. How can you not be lulled to sleep? i'm jealous! 3jays, you must be glad to be home and ready to get everything back to normal.
I'm off to a blueberry farm for PYO with my MIL. Of course, its going to be 90 degrees today, but the rewards will be fabulous!!
0 -
Claire you just made my mouth water...yum blueberries!!
0 -
Claire ... mine's watering too! I love fresh blueberries on my cereal - nothing better!
DiDel ... I worked hard to get into better shape for this surgery. My blood sugar and weight are down - A1C is 6.1 (excellent) and weight down 45 pounds. I am also a diabetic vegetarian so finding nutritious meals that would maintain my blood sugar was excruciating. I spent most of my time trying to maintain my health not just my hip! I think the Eskimos had a better idea - placing their old people on a floe of ice and sending them down the river. Certainly kinder than what we do.
0 -
So my LE appointment went well today. its funny in comparison to last year my left arm bicep is bigger than my right (mx side) The LE therapist thinks i over did it in the garden causing minor inflammation that is causing nerves to be affected and that is the tingling burning sensation I am feeling. She did say for preventative purposes while doing gardening of heavy lifting to use a light weight compression sleeve and gauntlet (hand compressions gear) I am going to do two sessions where they will teach me what exercises and massage techniques I should use after over exerting the arm. She said if I more gradually get back to my old workouts and routines (ie yard work) it would help my system better readjust to getting rid of excess fluid. They were very nice and I will go on Monday to order my sleeve.
Kate she told me when I feel like I have done too much and dont have a compression garmet to raise my arm up and sort of massage downward...that was a sorta quick and in a pinch type of exercise. I drove home with my arm over my head...I am sure people thought i was a loon. LOL
Anyhow, was baking allllll day. I made red velvet with vanilla cream cheese frosting, chocolate with dark choc buttercream, chocolate with peanut butter buttercream, caramel with vanilla buttercream cupcakes and my milk/dark chococate chip cookies. I think i have a sugar high from all the frosting sampling I did. My refrigerator is filled with cupcakes...I delivered two dozen to my beloved PS and will deliver the rest tomorrow to my hair dresser/friend and the Birthday girl who made the special request for my cupcakes. My friends daughter turns 13 tomorrow and she has been my baking asst for two years now. She loves to cook and is so cute studying my every move when we are baking together. She asked for a Kitchen Aid last Christmas...a girl after my own heart.
off to bed..I hope everyone is have a peaceful Friday night.
Hugs to all
Diane
0 -
btw I am sitting in bed with half of a red velvet cupcake ...mmmmmmm
and I burned my arm on my oven...see really was beraking it in!
D
0 -
DiDel ... you are breaking my heart! I am a diabetic so no cupcakes for me but I can dream! They all sound wonderful and you are close enough for me to have driven over to get them! Sorry you burned your arm and hope the PT helps your arm.
0 -
Wow, Diane - you are amazing. When first reading about all the cupcakes I must say I'm thinking what on earth are you going to do with so many.... wow, they must love to see you coming in! You must have a zillion cupcake pans. How do you transport them, just curious? I don't think I have ever even made a cup cake.
So I'm totally in the dumps and I know rationally I shouldn't be.. but hit me harder than I ever imagined. As you all know I finally broke it off with my BF of almost 6 years. The problem is I really did love him probably more than anyone I have ever been with, but we just reacted like oil and water together and it was stressful and hard. He is a musician and very narcessistic and was totally unable to be there for BC and other times I really needed him but for some stupid reason I still loved him. Well probably on purpose but I kept him as a friend on FB and yesterday saw he has a new girlfriend and it just crushed me! Ugh how stupid of me not to think about that! Not surprised in the least he has found someone so quickly but just forgot I'd read about it. So unfriended him as I know I don't need the extra tortue. But gosh it has hit me hard. I feel like I will forever be alone and it really frightens me.
0 -
Awww Stanzie...men suck! Clearly he is needy thus the lack of support for you and the immediate new GF. Pathetic! I know it hurts but remember that was really not what you want or need at this time. I am completely single so I know how you feel about being alone forever. Sometimes I get afraid of that as well. BUT I know right now..I am working on myself and I couldnt be in a relationship right now. I havent so much as kissed a boy since right before my diagnosis. I do miss the companionship but and comfort a loving partner can provide...but I am skeptical that anyone can give me that right now so I dont even try.
I would rather be alone than with a man that cared more about himself than me and I feel down enough about myself I dont need someone in my life making me feel worse. You will get there..we all will. I know when the time is right I will meet someone so great. I know before BC I was very shallow in my choice of men..I liked a bad boy. I love substance of course but if someone was too nice I was like NEXT...now I would love a nice doting BF.
In the meantime you know we love you and we are all here for you anytime!!!
Kathleen where do you live?? You can PM me if you want. If you are close by we can always do lunch, dinner and/or wine
Diane
0 -
Aw Stanzie sweetie! We know it hurts and then you second guess yourself....but you know you did the right thing. You have to protect yourself right now and this is not the time to have to carry the responsibility of a relationship right now. I know that I hated becoming a "statistic" when I left my first husband of 8 1/2 years. This one has been 17 years married, 19 years together! I went 8 1/2 years between marriages and it was worth the wait.
Hugs to you...
0 -
Stanzie- I know we can all say you deserve better but I also know how much that must have hurt to have seen that on Facebook. I hope you know that him jumping into a new relationship so quickly says nothing about you and your honest, true feelings. It says volumes about him, though. I think it's a sign of insecurity when someone jumps from one relationship to another. You have to wonder if they were ever truly vested in it in the first place. I know it's hard to think of him with someone else but you should probably pity this new girl. God forbid she has a crisis of her own and discovers what he's truly made of. You are incredibly wonderful and you should have had someone at your side during all of this who was there for you. I had a crisis in my own past (not BC) and my first husband really let me down. It was very painful to realize he wasn't the person I thought he was but it also showed me I was stronger than I thought when I had to navigate it alone. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and there's a lesson to be taken from all of it, but sometimes those lessons really truly suck. I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling. (((gentle hugs)))
0 -
stanzie, im so sorry you got hurt again by this man.. i do know how it is, however, to love a narcissitic man.. i divorced my 1st husband ( after three trys ) and, ended up with a wonderful man, who i've been married to for the last 21 years.. Mur. I'm praying you'll find a wonderful guy like him for you, too.. you deserve it!!!my kids were young, and he married me, taking that resp on, so yours are older, and you'll be ready, when a good one. like you desrve, shows up!!
wanted to tell you guys, i probably won't be around for awhile. i have squemous cell in my hand, and they're operating tommorrow on it. so, i doubt i'll be able to type for awhile.. i'll be reading, though..............3jays
0 -
Thanks everyone- you all do help give me strength, which is truely what I need right now. I appreciate more than you all can possibly know - especially now.
Oh 3-jays! sorry about your hand. Just something else... well will keep you in thoughts and prayers as always and look forward to your posts saying you are all healed and everything is good. Thanks for letting us know as you Know we would worry....
0 -
3jays- Sorry you have to deal with one more thing! I hope it's not your LE arm (or are you bilateral like me?). Hoping it all goes well tomorrow. Post when you're able and let us know you're o.k. (((hugs)))
I am having such a hard time getting motivated to do anything, lately! Not sure if it's depression or boredom but I can't seem to shake it. I look around at all the things needing doing around here and can't summon the energy for any of it. I know part of it is being fearful of making the LE worse until I get my sleeves but I think it goes deeper than that. I think in some ways I'm still mourning for the life I thought I was going to have and still haven't accepted the one I do have. Not just with the BC and LE but my DH's Parkinson's. I found a PD caregiver's support forum, similar to BCO, but all it did was freak me out reading about the more advanced cases and wondering if that was our future. And I found I didn't want to share my own story with anyone on there- just wanted to come here where you all know me. Just having a rough day today I guess.
0 -
3 jays, Good luck with your hand surgery. Please let us know how you are doing when you can type again.
Kate33, You have so much to handle. As if BC and LE were not enough, you have to support your husband. My father had PD and watching his decline was heartbreaking. Sending prayers and hugs to you. Be gentle with yourself.
0 -
3jays, good luck on your surgery. Kate33, My brother-in-law had Parkinson's. There are many things that can help. The parkinson foundation has lots of info. Good luck.
0 -
3Jays ... good luck with your surgery. My prayers are with you. I know everything will come out fine. Just another bump in the road. (Is it just me or is this an unusually bumpy road?)
Kate33 ... I have had a problem with either depression or lack of energy for a while. I used to be so organized and managed so well on my own. I know how you feel. It would really be frustrating except I don't have the energy to get worked up over it!
I worked for a physician that treated Parkinson's disease when L-Dopa was only available through large medical center (I worked at Georgetown University Hospital). I met some of the nicest and funniest people in our patient population. Normally people think the shaking is bad but its the rigidity that develops. They are probably doing so much more now then when I worked in the field. Good luck and keep coming back here for encouragement, caring and love. Bless you and your DH.
0 -
3jays, you are at the top of my prayers until I hear you have done well with your hand. Enough woman!!!!
Kate, boredom is a good thought...but you are probably overwhelmed, too. Parkinsons runs in my DH's family and they have been treated very successfully in the past number of years. I think catching and treating it early is a big factor in how fast - or even whether - there is progression. Do you have a hobby you enjoy? I know your dreaded summer heat is coming, but is there something indoors like scrapbooking or sewing you enjoy?
0 -
Kate sorry you are having a bad day...my guess is its a little boredom and a little afraid to get back to life...maybe waiting for the sleeve gives you the excuse to not do things...I say this cause I feel like that is what I am doing about hitting the gym and trying to get back in shape. I am not happy with how I look but full of excuses for not making it to the gym. No one could blame us...we've been through a lot and will get back to things when the time is right...and we are out of excuses.
Hugs to you!! I think you just need a little something to look forward to...
Stanzie ...sorry my attempt to comfort you turned into a pity party for myself. i tend to do that when the topic of dating comes up cause I am scared to death to date again. I didnt mean to sound selfish and nonsupportive I was just sorta ranting. I know when the time is right for the both of us we will find someone worthy of us and you will look back and thank your lucky stars you didnt settle for what may not have been the right thing and the right time.
Hope everyone had a good Sunday. I spent the morning in the garden...damn weeds just keep growing...and then spent the day with my BFF. It was such a beautiful day here in Baltimore that we mostly sat out on her deck...grilled and talked while sipping some nice cold beers.
Have a good night all!!
Diane
0 -
First, 3jays thank you for letting us know you won't be writing for a while so we don't fret, but sorry to hear you need surgery - I do think you have had to endure quite enough!
Diane - I got a cupcake urge when I read your post. I know when I used to do the birthday parties for my son, sometimes I would do a theme cake and surround it with matching cupcakes and all the kids and adults ate the cupcakes first. Go figure.
Stanzie and Diane: no, it's no fun not having a partner to share the ups and downs with. I didn't meet Jerry until I was 25 and then truly found what it was like to have someone adore, care and be there for me. My BFF on Kauai is 53, and has never been married or lived with a guy and sometimes says she wishes she had had a child as she enjoys her relationship (dear auntie) with my son and she sees how close my son and I are. I tell her she could of been married, had kids that were uncontrollable or pure nightmares, so to enjoy life as it is. She says it's dinner and the time afterward that she feels the loneliness the most. I kind of get it, as Jerry goes to bed at 6:30 and me not until after 10 but he's there in the house.
Kate: sorry you are having a bumpy time. I think for me BC has really taken a lot of my energy for handling pain and depression and unpleasant things. And I know life will never be the same as before BC but I don't have to like it. I fight depression most days and do find exercise to help. I walk on my treadmill, do pilates and garden with my dog Jaki and cat Fred trailing me. To get my ass up and going, I now make a list at night of all I want to do and especially things to do the next day. It's my list and private. Looking at it, I try to pick one thing to start on and often that motivates me to do more. If I can keep my mind on a task, it doesn't drift to dangerous areas. And Kate, Parkinson's is no joy ride and I'm sure it weighs heavily on you the increasing 'care' and concern you need/want to give to your husband. I don't know what to say for that......except I wish right now I could give you a big hug and we could go for a long walk and talk.................
0 -
Stanzie ... I have not had someone in my life for a very long time. I know exactly how you feel. It has not been a problem until my health started going south. That's when I miss having someone to share it with, someone who will be there for me, and/or just someone to hold me for a while. On the other hand, I don't think I would have made it through everything if I had some self-centered, self-absorbed man around making demands and belittling my efforts (afterall, that's what your first family is for!). One day my prince will come and I hope he brings your prince with him!
Diane ... I think my prince has two brothers so you're covered, too. Or maybe my prince is the Dad and he has two sons. I think I'm a lot older than both of you!
I go to physicall therapy today for the hip. I know its healing but at night that pain rears its ugly head. It seems to know when night is coming. I swear I think it has to do with barometric pressure! I'm going to research this whole topic. I think I'm on to something!
Anyway, have a great Monday everyone!
0 -
I don't know why I didn't look this up before!
"John
Hopkins Health Alerts reports a study that examines weather and joint pain. The study looked
for a relationship between weather and joint pain in 151 people who had
osteoarthritis, rheumatoid
arthritis or fibromyalgia and lived in the warm climate of Cordoba
City, Argentina. The study also included 32 people without joint pain living in
the same location. According to a journal kept for one year by study
participants, the people with arthritic conditions experienced mild pain on days
when temperatures were cooler, while those in the smaller control group were not
affected by any type of weather. Study participants with rheumatoid arthritis
were affected by high humidity and pressure, participants with osteoarthritis
were affected by high humidity, and fibromyalgia sufferers were affected by high
pressure."0
