Great saying about depression
Comments
-
Goodness so many posts to talk about.
Kate- Oh my of course you are overwhelmed. The Parkinson's site reminds me when my son with DS was an infant I was on one of these groups and I stayed terrified all the time. Not only was there sad stories about what these kid's couldn't do but there were terrifying stories of higher risk of leukemia and these complicated protocols that all these women were doing. They would post all these complicated medical abstracts which meant nothing to me but I kept remembering about those window's of opportunities and kept thinking Oh my gosh if I don't hurry and get him doing X then he will never be able to do this.... and then I was responsible for hurting my child further... Oh it was just terrible. I actually recently got back on when I was diagnosed with cancer just to hear what these woman said as some were chemists and nutritionilists and such... They were actually very supportive and now reading it isn't so scary at all. It was where I was and how overwhelmed and worried I was about the future. Does that make sense? Anyway, I hope you can find some good support - perhaps one where the spouse is in a much earlier stage would be more helpful. Oh I saw on that doctor's show, a woman who shook terribly but had some kind of machine that was connected to her and when it was on all the symptoms went away immediately. It was amazing. I'm sure you can look that up online.
Thanks to all of you and No Diane - you certainly were supportive and did not make it about yourself at all! Thanks again!!!!
0 -
3Jays Good luck with your surgery today...sorry you have to endure another procedure.
Kathleen I am 45...so anyone in the 35-50 range works for me
Debbie ...I have to say..I LOVE making lists and my sisters make fun of me all the time for doing it and for how excited I get when I am assigned a new task and sit down to put my list together. A true Virgo! That is a good idea. Its funny cause I do lists at work but not for my personal life. I think you are on to something cause it would make it more real if I am staring at it on my list instead of going...uh I will go to the gym later today..or tomorrow..I will start working out next monday. Ok I will try that.
Stanzie seems unfair that some of us get so much put on us in our life. I feel like once we've gone through BC we can handle more...plus we understand the medical jargon a little better. The site sounds great with the variety of experts. Good advice to Kate about finding someone with a similar diagnosis. its sort of like here if you're stage 1 you wouldnt want to hang out in the stage iv forum cause it would just scare the hell out of you. If you chat with those with similar diagnosis I would imagine it would be more informative and not be quite as overwhelming
Kate hope today is better
Have a good day everyone!!!!!
Diane
0 -
Stanzie I am sorry for the pain you are going through. Even when we make decisions sometimes that we know are the right ones if it means a big change it is a loss and we grieve that loss. The fact that you were strong enough and loved yourself enough in a good way to make that decision speaks volumes about the woman you are. Thinking of you
3jays good luck with your surgery!!!!
Diane reading about the cupcakes made me gain 5 pounds!!!! Sounds so wonderful.
Kate I am sorry you are again dealing with so much. There are days that while we realize we are blessed to be here and have wonderful supportive loved ones and if you are lucky friends, it is just a difficult day. The obstacles and challenges we have to face sometimes become so overwhelming. I think it is such a good idea for us to vent and let the emotion out then take a deep breath and start again. I had to do that this morning. Tears and frustration about my next surgery being delayed once again because the PS is going to a conference. Wondering how to accept this new body when it is still in transition and not "done" after 2.5 years. Third appt. with him and three changes. Acceptance difficult when you aren't done. So as you are facing the LE and continued pain it is hard because it is always there in front of you. I think we all just wish we could have a day where BC didn't enter our minds once!! I like the idea of the private list that was mentioned. I once told someone in the same boat, make a list of little items that are not hard to accomplish. As you are able to scratch them off your sense of strength and confidence will grow/ Then add items that take a little more effort etc. Because you have had success with the first smaller ones you will feel more confident that you can accomplish the others. We need some success in our lives. A good uncomplicated surgery or treatment for some, a positive relationship, sincere friends etc.
The success in our lives could be right now that we haven't given up!!! That takes courage and determination that all of you have displayed. I am glad to be a part of such a courageous and strong group of women who in their strength know that they can be vulnerable too.
0 -
Kate33, Was your husband in the military? I ask because the b-i-l Parkinson's was related to his exposure to agent Orange. If your husband was in the military that is another avenue to pursue. Good luck.
0 -
Hopeful nicely said...especially your last paragraph. Put a smile on my face.
Diane
0 -
Hopeful- are you a writer? If not you should be. All very well said and just lovely!
0 -
Hopeful - you said it so eloquently. Thank you.
and Diane, for us virgos, lists are especially good and gives us a sense of order and control.
0 -
3jays--hope your surgery went well and recovery is going smoothly. You certainly are one strong woman--I am always in awe at how you handle all that is thrown at you.
Kate-((((((HUGS)))))))) I'm not quite as eloquent as the other ladies. You have every right to be overwhelmed. Knowing that you have to do something about it is half the battle. Reaching out, even in baby steps is the first step to feeling better. My DH always says you'll never know if you don't try. Course, I don't really ever listen to him.
We may not know the answers to your PD problems, but we will always be here for YOU. Knowing you have a safe place to go is half the battle. I too TRY to make lists. I love crossing things off, but get annoyed that I didn't do it all. EVERY morning my DH asks what I have planned for the day--as I am laying half asleep in bed. Hell if I know--not the half asleep part-- so I mumble something incoherent and then worry that I don't have enough planned for the day to make him happy. Guess I should make the list the night before and just tell him to go check my list. And let me sleep!!!
0 -
Morning Ladies!! Hope everyone is off to a good start today!
3Jays {{{{Hugs}}}} hope you are feeling well and not in pain after your procedure.
I am off to work today ...booooo...and a dentist appointment....double boooooo.
Have a great day everyone!!
Diane
0 -
Good morning! I'm off to the physical therapist today. Normally I would hate this but its the only way I am going to get better so I'm kind of looking forward to it. That, plus I am so competitive I want to see how well I can do!
3Jays ... Hope you are not in too much pain. Gentle hugs.
0 -
3jays hope surgery went well and you have a noncomplicated recovery!!! With good pain control!!!
I am not a writer though I have been told I should write. My best friend of over 37 years was diagnosed with breast cancer a year before me. We both underwent mastectomies, had infections, multiple surgeries etc. I am thinking of writing a book about the shared journey of two best friends facing this with a boatload of history in their friendship enabling them to be brutually honest with the journey. What do you guys think?
0 -
Thanks for the support, understanding and pep talks, everyone. I needed it! I definitely see a pattern with my week. I see the LE PT on Monday and Wednesday so by Thursday I'm feeling pretty good. But by Sunday night/Monday morning the pain is back with a vengeance and I sink back into my lows. I'm trying to learn the techniques to help myself but it's complicated because my LE is bilateral. I really appreciate all of you, though, so much. It helps so much knowing there's a safe place here to vent, cry or have a full on pity party. Thank you!
3jays- Hope all went well and that you're resting at home being waited on like the queen that you are. We miss you!
hope- I love the idea for the book! Tell me when the book signing it and I'm there! You are very talented and I think just writing it would be very cathartic for both of you. I kind of wish I had journaled through all this. (Though I guess if I went back and read all my posts again I have!) You have a way of cutting through everything and illuminating the feelings underneath that we're all having.
I've been watching old episodes of "Giuliana & Bill". Anyone else watch this? (I know you do, Diane!) Anyway, about a week after her MX her husband, Bill, tells a family member how glad he is that it's all over. I realized that this is probably what most of our DHs and family members think. Here's a highly educated celebrity and he had NO clue! (Have to comment on the show, though. She had a BMX and was in the hospital for 4-5 days!!! I don't know about the rest of you but they booted me out the door right after breakfast the next day!) I guess when you're a celebrity....
0 -
Kate, you can't do the MLD all by yourself. Is your DH helping you? He needs to do your back or you are just doing half the job. If you don't drain your back, you might develop LE there from your manipulation on your front. What does your PT say about that?
0 -
Hopeful- YES YES!!!!! I think that is a most wonderful idea and I'd love to be at the signing as well! That would be a really wonderful book to read as it gives two different reactions and emotions while going through the same thing so I think that would be very interesting! It will also show others who are trying to help and or care for someone with BC what a "true" friend does since in your situation you both "knew BC" so didn't say things that were insensitive like so many of us have experienced. I think it will be a huge hit and I agree with Kate will help you both. Especially since you all went through more than the "typical" BC surgery with infections and other surgeries.
Oh Kate! Can't imagine what all you are going through. I do know at one point my PS said I have so much scar tissue and pain from my surgery because I didn't have a partner who massaged my back. Believe it or not I did have my BF but he couldn't be bothered by massage. I tried my best to do what I could but obviously it wasn't enough as I'm still in a lot of pain. I guess Lat surgery should come with a disclaimer - you must have a willing partner who will give massages and help after surgery....Any neighbor who might be able to come over? Or is your Mom or sister close enough?
3-Jays!!!! Thinking about you!!!!!! ((( HUGS))) but quick healing!
Kathleen - good luck on your PT. I'm hating my PT for my car wreck as he critizes my trainer and vice verse....
Claire - LOL on lists. I make lists but I never find them in time to be useful...
0 -
Stanzie ... PT was good. This therapist said she was going to massage the surgical site to break up scar tissue to keep the skin from adhering directly to the muscle. WTF? No one told me that! Fortunately, she said it was not bad at all. I know when I had my shoulder replaced you could actually hear scar tissue breaking up when the shoulder was manipulated. Eech!
3Jays ... ((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
I did have a journal of my experience with breast cancer - all lost when the computer got corrupted!
0 -
So I've been playing a dice game on Facebook called Farkle. I've lost a lot of points this morning, so what do I do? I bet higher and higher amounts trying to recoup the loss. No money is involved, just points. So guess what happens when I bet higher?? I lose more!!! So it got me thinking....
If I was climbing a rock face and I slipped down 10 feet, would I try to make that loss up in one giant step? Impossible!! So why do we try these grand gestures to "get it all back" when we need to take baby steps just to stay in one place!!
We put so much pressure on ourselves to get everything back to normal as if nothing happened. Why do we do that? Denial? A desire to be "normal" again? We never will get this monkey off our backs, why do we flail around trying so hard to dislodge it?
I've "owned" my Fibromyalgia and heart issues and even use a cane for my arthritis and disk issues. So why do we try to sweep breast cancer under the rug? I consider my flat chest my proof of winning that certain battle. I had a psychologist (female) say I did it to make people feel uncomfortable. Can you believe that? No one can realize I'm flat unless they really took a hard look. It's not like I'm wearing tight tops or anything. So I should "fake it" so others don't feel uncomfortable??? NOT!!!!
0 -
barbe that therapist doesn't have a clue!!!
Kate, Kathleen and Stanzie so sorry about the LE and scar tissue!!! They need to have a network of women who would be willing to help with the massage. Like volunteers that go through training to go to your home. What a wonderful service that would be! To help supplement the times away from the clinic treatments!
I have a project currently underway for BC and as soon as that is done I am going to start the book. I already have a title actually
0 -
Barbe ... I own it all - I'd like to sell it all! When first diagnosed with breast cancer and having made a decision for a bimx I wanted immediate reconstruction. I wanted to look "normal." After the TE's got infected and were removed, while I still consider reconstruction, the lack of breasts is kind of freeing! I am also considering maybe a vine of flowers across my chest!
Hopeful ... best of luck with the book. It will be fantastic!
0 -
Barb, Just like Dorothy in the Wof O that is a "Bad Therapist".
Kathleen - I agree - Let's all sell and get rid of BC! Only if That was an option....I like the vine idea....
Hopeful- Wow! Just Wonderful! Do we get to know about the project or is that not something that can be revealed?
0 -
Dorothy? Wizard of Oz? Don't know that connection. S'plain please...
0 -
Sorry..... a bit punchy when I wrote. It made me think of Dorothy telling the Wizard - " you are a Bad Man" and he says not a bad man - a bad wizard. Sorry a bit obscure..... and have no idea why that came to mind.
Kate just saw on "The Doctors" about deep brain stimulation for Parkinson's. It was amazing! The meds were no longer controling her tremors so they put in these ..... devices in her upper chest and ran this wire into her brain(while awake) and you watched as they found the exact spot and her tremors totally went away. It was truly amazing! Anyway, I'm sure you can find infor online.
0 -
Hey ladies!
Well yesterday I was at the dentist which is right around the corner from my beloved PS...so I emailed him to see if I could pop by and have him check this weird mole I have. Its blue and looks like I have pen on me. So he goes I think its just a blood blister but I will remove it if you want. So I had him remove it...boy did it bleed..he laughed at goes YUP its a blood blister. Oh well at least its gone and I wont have people telling me I have ink on my arm. I also had him look at my mx side cause it looks flat (again) on the bottom of the implant. He said I have level 1 CC and when it gets to level 3 is when it needs to be replaced. This is the second time so we discussed using Alloderm to hopefully correct it if necessary in the future. He said to lightly massage it to try to correct. Do any of you ladies still massage your implants?? I will admit I dont massage as much as I obviously should have but its so tight it feels like I am going to dislodge it.
I have to pop in the office today...booooo
3Jays...hope you are feeling good!
Have a good day ladies!!
Diane
0 -
Diane my PS told me to push them together from the side twice a day for a minute. Another lady said her PS said to push up from the bottom too. That is what I do. When he did the exchange from textured to smooth last Oct. he said I had very little CC.. I do this everyday.
0 -
Stanzie- We've seen some info on that, too. My DH and I have talked about but he doesn't feel his tremors are bad enough to take the risk. Hopefully, by the time he does they will have perfected it even more. Even if he were to do the procedure now he still wouldn't be able to go back and fly for the airlines because the procedure isn't approved by the FAA which is usually behind everyone else by about 10-20 years.
0 -
Hopfeul thanks for the tip...I will start doing that now.
Oh and I just wne to Wholefoods and picked up some coconut oil ,..as discussed on another thread for my skin and they had COCONUT OIL shampoo for my chemo hair! I am hoping they both do the trick.
Diane
0 -
Oh, Kate. I keep thinking about you and your DH. Dealing with so much. I know PD is somewhat controllable and I have a neighbor who has that Brain stim device and seems to be doing well. I was devastated about a year ago when one of my high school classmates (childhood boyfriend,neighbor,star athlete, prom king, yada, yada, yada) was diagnosed with PD. It was a career ending diagnosis for him also as he was a very accomplished ENT doctor and could no longer get malpractice insurance. He calls every once in a while to check up on me which is so sweet. He is struggling with depression and looking for some sort of rewarding work. I hope that your DH can find a great support group.
The big retirement dinner last weekend went well. My family was briefed about my feelings and did a good job of keeping the focus on the retirees. I managed to make it thru the whole dinner, etc. The room was overcrowded and packed so tightly so good excuse for me to have a seat and stay put. Many friends made their way through the crowds to wish me well after this lat flap surgery. I don't know what I was worried about... Just feeling self conscious, especially since still hiding drains. So ready for all this to be OVER!0 -
joan of course you would feel self conscious! Your body has been disturbed and changed. I am glad it went well. I think it is normal for us to be self conscious through this whole process. Especially with our culture!!
Diane my best friend also swears by emu oil.
0 -
Diane, I have been massaging all around my implants since the scars healed which was about 3 weeks after the March 5 surgery last year. Just had an ultrasound and the tech said it was amazing the lack of scar tissue around my bumps. My bumps do move a bit with massage but I figure that means they aren't getting encapsulated. PS: is your PS single?
Joan, I can understand how you would feel around a lot of people so soon after surgery - like every-ones eyes go immediately to you chest. Take a deep breath. What you did was so brave and strong. Go girl!
Kate: yes, let's hope by the time meds aren't keeping your dh's Parkinson's under control they will of done many more of these procedures - practice makes perfect. I still think they can come up with some better meds too.
0 -
Kate, thank you for this post. "Stuck ones or telling the truth?" Everyone around me assumes after the exchange surgery I was "healed." I think I am really feeling isolated because no one quite "gets it" and I am working so hard to make up for when I was out last year. My mentor told me last Saturday, "Lindsey, you will never arrive at being enough." Wow, that got me crying. I need to hear the truth from all of you because it is my truth too.
Debbie! It is so great to see you posting again. I've wondered about your DH, DS, the doggie, and you!
Last Wednesday our 10-year-old cat bit me. Wednesday night I was in the ER as the infection climbed my arm. I received IV antibiotics, and then a second infusion the following morning and a third infusion Thurs night. OMG! Not what I needed on my plate right now.
Kate, I don't want to sweep things under the rug and keep saying "I'm okay." I feel exhausted and my right foob is still swollen and painful. Heading in to work on the frozen shoulder next week. Hopefully that will bring some relief.
I smiled when I logged on today. It was great seeing my new "old friends!"
0 -
Lindsey!!!!!! Helloooooooo!! WTF with the mentor...clearly she/he is not aware of what a mentor is supposed to do but they should encourage and support you and help you grow not tear you down. What a terrible thing to say! A$$!!!!! To me ..saying that to you shows their own insecurities watching you fight through your challenges like a champ and still wanting more out of life and not accepting things as they are and looking to better yourself and others. What is wrong with that? We should always want to grow and change in a positive direction and I dont understand knocking someone down especially after all you have been through. Sorry about the kitty bite...as much as I love my kitties they arent the cleanest pets in the house. Sorry you had to endure an ER visit.
Joan glad you enjoyed your party and that it wasnt as bad as you thought. Its always nice having a seat and it was very nice to have people make an effort to come and see you. Says a lot about what they must think of you and your DH. Kudos for sticking in there and enjoying the night.
Debbie you are funny...my PS is happily married with two adorable kids and I make them cupcakes all the time...PBJ being his kids favorite. He is like the brother I always wanted he is so kind and compassionate and has really talked me off the ledge a number of times.
I have my LE massage/exercise session first thing in the morning and for most of you should know by now I am NOT a morning person. AND I have to drive on the other side of town...booooo its gonna be a rough morning. I am excited though to see what they show me.
Oh I forgot to toot my own horn for today....I RAN a mile with Charlie...did spinning for 45 minutes and treadmill for 45 minutes. It felt good to do stuff for myself today. I am sure I will pay for it tomorrow but I am determined to get back into my bikini this summer.
Good night ladies....its almost friday!!!
Diane
0
