Great saying about depression

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  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited December 2011

    barbe:  What an amazing night you just had!  I am so happy for you!!!

  • cmbear
    cmbear Member Posts: 674
    edited December 2011

    Barbe, what a great Christmas present for you and your DH!! So glad you had a wonderful time.

    Lookingaround--depression is quite often a family disease. My dad FINALLY started taking anti-d's after his prostate C TX. My 2 sisters and I (who have all been on anti-d's most of our adult lives) all said FINALLY. Wonder what our childhood would have been if he had done that earlier.

    Diane- so did you make peace with your friend?  Sometimes I think some people are just aren't emotionally open enough to understand others pain. Its not that they are bad people they just are missing a part of that empathy gene that others have. BTW, set any mouse traps lately?? : )

    Lindsey--I think you are handling everything so well, so grounded, and so stronger than you know. ((((Gentle hugs)))) 

    I'm off to see Sherlock Holmes tonight with my boys--a few hours of staring at Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr.--not a bad evening. Saw Dependents with George Clooney yesterday and MI3 with Tom Cruise Saturday. Can you tell my son works at a movie theater? I've seen more movies this week than I have for the last 6 months! 

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited December 2011

    Hello All,

     Long time for me to be here. Trying to catch up a bit. First Kate, the video was adorable! So cute and who knew you all were sooo musical! 

    Lindsey, it just takes so long and the emotional part... well I'd say that is why we are all still on this thread as it just takes its toll in so many ways. Sorry about your friend oh shoot or is that Diane, well shoot so much for my memory and I just read it all. Friends are hard - but we really do know who we can count on and who are the shallow ones

    Barb!!! Just loved reading about you and your hubbie! I can just imagine you all dancing. I'm so happy to read with all you and your hubby have been through and are going through you all are so close and happy! That really made me smile, thanks! I like to think of you in a fancy top cuddled together dancing. 

    MBJ- Wow, you have been through it all on top of moving! That is sweet about you and your husband. It is nice to read that there are some nice caring men out there, maybe someday I'll find one.

    Diane- the cat and mmmmouse well.... I sure hope you caught your shirt on something during the night... My cat brings in chipmunks but alive and then doesn't care about them... so all of a sudden you will see one run across the floor... but the one that died in the curtains was the worst! When I was decorating my Christmas tree, I was so scared putting on the light that a chipmunk would fly out at me! I know there is one still in the house, just haven't found it  yet. You all will probably all hear me scream when I do!

    Still trying to find out if I'm having 7 or 11 for Christmas dinner and totally stressing over it as it will be only the second time I've made a Turkey! Glad to pop in and "see" you all again!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited December 2011

    Stanzie- I've missed you!!!!  So great to hear from you!  And I love your new avatar photo.  What a gorgeous picture!  

    Just got back from the vet.  First time ever, except for shots, I've had to take one of my pups in the whole 6 years I've had them.  Seems my little Scout has a bum knee so he's putting her on anti-inflammatories.  I'm just so relieved it's nothing more serious.  I don't think I could take it right now.   She is definitely my baby.  She's the one on the right-

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited December 2011

    What are those cute little fur balls! They are adorable

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited December 2011

    They are half Poodle and half Yorkshire terrier- Yorki-poos! They are sisters from the same litter. ( Piper is the other one.). My DH and I couldn't agree on which pup to take so we took both of them! So glad we did. They've been the best little dogs.

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited December 2011

    ivehad to catch up for pages, and pages!!!you guys've been busy!!!your furbabies are wonderful; Kate...

     im in a deep hole, but im not surprised. the hyothyroid is getting worse, Not better. and no anti d's till it goes down a little. so, im not surprised.. this isn't the happiest time of the yr for me, anyway.... so, im in bed alot.. but, ck and lurk regularly... havea great Holiday season, gals.. Barbe: im so glad you had a great time with your hubs!!!.......3jays

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited December 2011

    3jays- Love your Christmas avatar!  I'm sorry the hypo's getting worse and no anti-D's doesn't help the situation.  I wish they could find something to work for you.  Guess they're too busy trying to invent the next Viagara, huh?  Ugh!  So frustrating that they can't find the right combination to make things better for you.  Just know we're all here for you!!!!  

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited December 2011
    thanks, Kate.. my dr. really is good, not the endo; the ent.. we're tryiing prednisone with tirosint, to see if i handle it better. i thought steroids would help with the fatigue, they sure did with cheemo.. apparently, not when your hyo!!!have a good holiday season , ladies.. ill be done shopping tommorrow. one more gift to get... late much?hahaha 3jays
  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited December 2011

    3jays, you're not late, yet.....

    Kate!! You've made me reconsider getting a small dog(s) when my last cat finally passes. Do little dogs need the same kind of long walks that big dogs do? Do yours use piddle pads? (I LOVE saying that!!)

    Stanize, true, what a BEAUTIFUL new avatar!!!!!

    Claire, we're hoping to do the Twilight movie on Christmas day. We've gone out to 4 movies in 18 years together!!!

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited December 2011

    Claire: Can't wait to see that movie!

    Stanzie: Gorgeous new avatar!  I havenever seen a chipmonk before, lol.

    Kate: Your babies are adorable!

    3jays: So sorry nothing is working for you yet.  Big hugs.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited December 2011

    Damn! I went and did the dreaded 'list' in my post and I NEVER do that!!! I didn't mean to skip you MBJ.. I hope your shot is still working for you. If it wasn't an epidural, what was it? I've had nerve blocks, too, and that's about 18 needles up and down my spine and wrapping around my hips. You said your shot wasn't an epidural, so I'm curious. I had shots in the bursa sac of my arm, but can't remember what was in it...

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited December 2011

    barbe- The great thing about little dogs is you can play fetch with them in the house and they don't destroy the furniture!  I do take them for walks occasionally but they're usually tuckered out after one block.  They're mostly content hanging out in the backyard laying in the sun on the chaise lounges.  LOL!  (No, they're not spoiled!)  They don't use the piddle pads.  They have a tiny doggie door in our laundry room that goes into a little side yard.  I do know people who use those, though, with little ones sames as some use a litter box for cats.  I can't imagine getting a tiny dog to go out in 3 feet of snow!  Mine don't even like to get their feet wet when it's raining.  Little dogs are so much comfort- well, any pet really.  They give you so much love.  I saw this sign at the vet's office yesterday- "To err is human, to forgive canine".  I love that!

    MBJ- I really hope you get some relief soon!!!!  And that you're on the mend from that nasty stomach flu!   (((hugs))) 

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited December 2011

    Thanks for the compliments on my picture!! It was several years ago when I was invited to an actual Ball for the Symphony orchestra! It was grand fun!

    MJB- the flu is horrendous, I'm so sorry!! Things will have to be better in the New Year! 

    Kate, I so miss my beautiful little Liesl - it was a year ago last Nov. 30th that she died. I have looked into getting another different type of dog as I'm still morning Liesl but so far no puppy litters yet. Was thinking of a Sheltie as I know they are very smart and still not to big. Kate I agree I love the little dogs - might have to looking into your kind as they are so cute! Any thing I should know about them? I also have a little pet door for my Little Liesl and now my cat uses it but prefers to ook pitiful in the window and ask to be let in- LOL!

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited December 2011

    flu is still hangin in, ugh. 

    Barbe: They use cortisone for the inflamation which is a large part of where the pain comes from.  Why they didn't give me one 4 months ago when my arm still worked is beyond me.  I paid for this out of pocket since a bone dr won't even see me until March 17th on my insurance.  Cruel and unusual treatment if you ask me.  

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited December 2011

    happy holidays, ladies.. last gift putchased and in a bag.. the "new wrapping here)  lol.. Barbe, my furbabies actaully rarely miss their piddle pads!!!they get carried around , when we go out, in a leopard zipper puch!!!i have gotten them service animal approved, and they go wherever we go. (except drs, but thats OUR choice)..

      On good days, they keep me company, when i walk, but they are just fine inside, as well. they are my dearest of friends!!!3jays

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited December 2011
    Christmas Angels Kitten.jpg
  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited December 2011
    sorry that's so large.. i feel peaceful with that one!!!3jays
  • didel
    didel Member Posts: 733
    edited December 2011

    Hi All!! Ugh MBJ I feel your pain...I have been so sick since the weekend. I actually skipped my parties but there was no way I could make it and I certainly didnt want to crop dust my germs acrossed two parties. I feel bad cause my one guy friend was celebrating his 35th and I was so looking forward to it..but I just could not get off the couch. I havent been sick in so long since being so careful through surgery and chemo to avoid germs. Everyone I know has had this GOD awful cold. Today I feel human again.MBJ hope you are feeling better today.

    I finally finished all my cookies and will complete delivering today...now on to wrapping. I love love love wrapping. When I was little my grandmother used to wrap without tape!! I have tried to figure it out for years...dont have the patience for it. She used to fold in sort of oragami way..tucking and folding...no tape. It was amazing. She has long passed but I wish I paid more attention.

    Kate btw I am half French so I would NEVER buy a quiche. LOL your puppies are so cute!! sometimes I wish Charlie were smaller...although he does scare people..which I love being in the City but if they only knew what a scardy cat he really is.. 

    Claire I am heading to see Descendants Friday..I can not wait. I heart George Clooney.

    3jays love the kitties! sweet!! 

    [ETA] Stanzie....BEAUTIFUL picture....you look so regal!! Wink

    Barbe sounds like you had an amazing night! I love dancing...havent had a partner in a while but once I am on the dancefloor there is no getting me off. Glad you had such a wonderful time.

    For anyone having a hard time through the holidays...hugs to you!! I know the holidays can be especially hard when you are not feeling well or if you are feeling lonely. Remember though we are all here for you. I had to lay low for the last two Christmases  and it was hard cause I am such a social butterfly. It was depressing but I had to rest to allow my body to heal. I look back on that time ...a time that I never thought would end..and it does feel like a faint memory. Rest up ..be kind to yourself and keep posting!!!

    Happy Hanukah to all my jewish BCO sisters!!

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 581
    edited December 2011

    Today it is two years.  Heard those words "you have breast cancer" today. Not sure how I feel.  Calm and kind of numb thinking about it.  Wierd.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited December 2011

    I know what you mean Determined. When it was my one year 'anniversary' I emailed my brothers and sisters and said "one year ago today, I heard those words." No one responded except my older brother!!! I liked what he said though, "NO ONE should have to hear those words in their lifetime..." It's so true!!!

    I met my thyroid surgeon this afternoon and I LOVE him!!!! Because I have to be in 2-4 days, he is doing it in the new year. I think it's just because he's off for a couple of weeks...heheheheheh. Anyway, he had my DH feel the lump to show him why I'm having some trouble breathing. The surgeon is also going to check out my para-thyroid glands, of which I am SO grateful!!! He is also very understanding of my fibromyalgia, so I know I will be well medicated. Now I just wait for the call once we pass the new year.

  • didel
    didel Member Posts: 733
    edited December 2011

    determined I know how you feel...my 2 year just passed and I wasnt quite sure how I felt. definitely not as emotional as my 1 year. I hope today wasnt too bad for you...its one more year under your belt!!! Wink

    Heres to many more!!!

    Diane

  • LinSea
    LinSea Member Posts: 127
    edited December 2011

    3Jays- I hear you are the expert with adding pics to our comments. I will open an account at photo bucket, but it seems like the cut/copy option has been disabled. Right now I just tried to right click to see if I could add a picture from my computer and this function is not available when I am writing a comment. Help! Thanks so much!

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited December 2011

    Diane, lovely post! I love Christmas but it has always been difficult for me and each year I go into it thinking I can make it all better and good and then little things happen and I just think I shouldn't try. This year was the first year I was excited about the Holiday's since my Mom died and my divorce. Well, my cousins were coming so I'd have adult family around and they all cancelled so I went from having 12 for Christmas down to 7 which is still good as the elderly music couple will be coming who I adore but just totally stressed about it all. As in truth hoped some of those family members would help me!

    So now tonight just had another fight with my SO! Ugh.... I'm thinking more and more that it isn't him that it is me and unresolved or hidden BC issues.  I think I'm just not happy with me and Christmas is hard. I try (go overboard) to make Christmas really special for my kids and I sometimes do too much and get overly stressed and ruin everything. So feeling quite upset and depressed. Also my neurologist put me on a new med. I was doing great with the extra estrogen till it gave me BC but I felt wonderful. Now I was so tired I could barely cross the room or get the mail. So I jokingly asked my neurologist and if he had a magic pill as my quality of life was really horrible. He said yes. I didn't know whether to be happy or angry he hadn't told me before. Anyway, it is Adderall- the same one for ADD. So guess what, it actually works well. I have energy, I can do things, I actually want to do things even went back to exercising.... but the bad part. I cannot sleep! I can only sleep 2 or 3 hours a night at the most. I feel really dreadful around  4:00am but if I can get a little more sleep after that then I'm basically ok through the day.... so how bad is not sleeping... well other that the obvious irritablity and such... What a choice! not being able to do anything or not sleeping.

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited December 2011
    gif-Merry C and happystill working for me... pm me, sweetie...3jays
  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited December 2011

    stanzie: im in such a bad place right now... the season is hard, anyway... but, the loss of my sister this yr, my mom 's gone, i feel so alone..

       And, then Guilty , because here is my DH right here.. but, i can't help what i feel. i just feel it..

      my dr. put me on prednisone, ms flare from the hypo.. im gonna ask for that, also when i see him.. i have ocd and bad, right now, according by my dh.. that can help it all.. im glad the adderal helps you, hope it helps me......3jays

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited December 2011

    Oh 3 jays!!!! I think about you all the time. I recently found out a totally healthy friend of mine is now having similar thyroid issues and is allergic to most of the meds. So far she hasn't found much help so seeing her in person and she doesn't have MS or BC, I just so thought about you and how hard it must be for you.

    I'm so sorry about your sister. I know what you mean about feeling alone even when you are with someone... missing people who are gone is just plain hard and wonder when it gets better? I so hope it helps you too, only a small percentage get the insomonia. I like so much about the drug, I'm going to actually try a sleeping pill tonight as I don't want to give up on its good effects. 

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited December 2011

    Determined- I think our cancerversaries for us are like when you remember the date someone you loved died.  Usually those around you aren't even aware of the significance of the date.  (Not even sure my own DH, sweet man that he is, could say the date I was DX.)  And for most, life has moved on.  But, in some ways, we're still mourning and the date may always be a little painful.  I think each passing year it will become more of a pinprick than a sledgehammer, though.  

    Stanzie- I think women, and moms in particular, put so much stress on ourselves to make the holidays special for everyone around us.  I am particularly guilty of this and then feel so let down afterwards.  I just saw an interview of Jane Fonda on Dr. Oz who was promoting her new book "Prime Time".  I've never really seen her interviewed before but what she was saying really resonated with me.  She said most women have a "disease to please" and are constantly striving for perfection.  She said we're supposed to be complete and whole and you can't be whole if you're trying to be perfect.  It really struck a chord with me.  I think an overweight, balding man can stand naked in the mirror and think, "Damn, I look good!"  We, on the otherhand, see every wrinkle and extra pound.  So take something like BC, where it's not a wrinkle but sometimes a giant scar, and it really amps up this stress for us.  I find myself trying to make everything else in my life perfect (like Christmas) because my physical self can't be.  (Not that it ever was, but it's worse now.)  It's a viscious cirlce- trying to be the perfect mom, wife, friend, failing at it, feeling worse, trying harder, etc.  I'm never one to make New Year's resolutions but letting go of perfection, or the attempt to be perfect, would probably be a good one for me.  Wish me luck- lol! 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited December 2011

    {{{{{{{{{{{ Kate }}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'll settle for mediocre!!!

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 581
    edited December 2011

    Kate you are right.  You look at people scurrying around going on with life and that is the day it all changed and you want to say hey wait, I am still hurting and not done! Two years and STILL not done with recon due to hospital error.  But on the flip side I am here and apparently NED.  I have a family that loves me.  I didn't cry at all just felt kind of numb.  And you are so right others don't remember what a significant day this was to us.  Just like I miss somone eleses right.  I am going to try to concentrate on the growth personally that has taken place.  The changes that have been good.  And allow the grief for what I lost both physically and in the sense that my sense of spontaneous joy is still not back and my sense of well being isn't totally there. I don't make assumptions about living a long life as easily now. But with all that being said.  I know I am blessed in so many ways.  And I am so thankful for the NED.  I am so thankful for the women I have met and even a few men on this journey that have been true friends .  Just a day to reflect, grieve and then take that step foraward again.  Thanks for the support ladies.

    Ahh holidays.  We decorated earlier than normal and so getting to sit back and relax a bit. Getting away for the week after Christmas. Can't wait.  I wonder if we take a step back and reflect on what it is about and how we want to write this story in our life if that would help.  I am very much into thinking each day, how do I want to write my story for today.  Because there is so much I do control.  Does that make sense.

    3jays I hope you can find some rest and peace.  This is a season of firsts for so many.  I have three friends who have passed away this year and I think of their families celebrating all the firsts without them. 

    Stanzie I hope you get some relief!!!

    Happy Holidays everyone!!!!!