Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Yea, painted lady, ther's something very fishy going on with that one!
Lovemyfamily - hoping your lunch date goes well. Maybe you could think of this date as step one in your recovery from Franklin. ??
Dogdandjogs-yes, what a coward! And getting caught like that is his bad karma coming around to bite his @ss!
I was supposed to be going out with mr. smart guy today and he cancelled. Has to work all weekend. Yea right, 24/7 I'm sure. He messaged me later last night and said to call him this weekend!!! Huh????? Messaged him back and said "NOPE". I don't get this guy - we'd been messaging all week making a plan, he seemed excited about it and then says maybe next weekend we can get together. I plan on being very busy next weekend! So maybe he really does have to work this weekend but I'm feeling totally dissed and he's gonna have to work a bit harder if he wants to see me again! I just keep hearing this little voice that says he really can't decide if he really wants to see me or not. Why are men such cowards about this stuff? It'd be so much easier for everyone if they'd just leave a message saying, "don't think we're a good match". Boom, end of story.
Sorry for rambling but this guy has really got me going.
The saga continues. . . .0 -
I have a friend who is trying on primarily POF. She is getting all this weird stuff too. I don't remember it being like that 5 yrs. ago at all. It all seems like such a waste of time on the mans part. So many games. .........Am wondering, is it the sites? Or is it the age - middle to older aged men?
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Hi Ladies
I am so frustrated with these men!
Rak the story with Mr. Smart Guy reminds me of what three guys did to me. Suddely they had to go out of town on "family emergencies" but I would see them logged into POF daily. I got the feeling I was being strung along just incase someone else didnt work out.. I nipped that right in the bud by blocking them.
Lovemyfamily good for you that you are going on a date. Keeps us posted.
Mybee I dont know what to think. I am actually shocked that these older men plays these sick games. Maybe it is just the ones that are messaging me. Perhaps there are good ones on the site but they arent interested in me.
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Well, Edward stood me up. I called him from the restaurant and got his machine. Then when I got home I had a email on match, saying he wasn't sure we were still on for the lunch date because he had called me during the week and I didn't return his calls. ???? And, to make matters worse, I called Franklin and told him what happened. When will ever learn?
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Lovemyfamily
I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. That makes me angry. The guy doesnt even have the manners to call you and cancel it. That is mean to have you go to the restaurant.
Sorry but I have to call him a jerk! You dont need that.
As far as calling Franklin, I am sure you were upset and wanted him to comfort you.
Thank God it this guy showed you his character sooner rather than later
Hugs xoxo
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When I was on seniorpeoplemeet I responded to some guys that seemed like they had the same interests as I have. I would make a comment about their pics; i.e. where was this taken, what kind of dog is that, etc. etc. Rarely did anyone respond. To me, that is just rude and tells me they are not interested in conversation at all! A big turn-off for me.
Others would write back and even make suggestions for meeting and then make some kind of excuse. I chatted with one guy for a while - he had two dogs so I asked about them. He then mentioned that he goes to San Diego a couple of times a month to see his daughter and grandchild. I suggested we meet near a freeway off ramp off ramp and have coffee near by the next time he is heading south. Suddenly - no more conversation - was he just afraid to meet me or was he not that interested? He certainly sounded interested during our messaging.
Too bad, he mentioned he owned an olive farm/factory? in Italy and visited it twice a year. I had already pictured myself jogging in the Italian mountains while he toured the factory LOL
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Just received a message from a guy on pof. Managed to read his message through the misspellings and lack of punctuation. . .then read the part of his profile where you are able to put in the "don't contact me if. . " part. So he is 56 and only women age 35 to 46 should contact him and although he states he in an occasional smoker, smokers should not contact him! A few days later decided to message him back and blast him. Told him "bet your phone is ringing off the hook, figuratively speaking, with those limitations!" I was saving comments about his profile picture (him laying in bed like he just woke up, badly needing a haircut or at least a comb), but my message, I guess went right over his head! He just didn't get that I was totally turned off, messaged me back wanting to get together! OY!!!
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Yeah, I got the same thing on POF and Match.com. These guys were in their sixties and seventies and only wanted to be contacted by women under 50! And many would post about how young they look despite being xxxyears old and how they don't want anyone over 130 lbs or a certain height, etc etc
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I think in general men need to be "hit over the head with a frying pan" for them to "get anything!"
I also think their huge ego's get in the way on these dating sites. They are like little boys in the candy store and they see all these potential women and they start drooling and panting and get so excited they start playing games as they think they are Soooooo desirable. Well, I'm sure reality and Karma will come soon and bite them and bite them hard. They will get hurt and dumped on and realize they screwed up the chance to meet some nice normal women cause their tiny brains just couldn't get through to that proverbial driving force men think they possess. Good Grief - I'm so sorry these stupid men and driving you lovely women crazy.
Makes me want to suggest these sites have a moderator of sorts who will monitor conversations and come back with things like "Did you really say that?, Do you honestly think you are that hot? Boy, did you blow that one as she was an amazing catch". Wouldn't that be a fun position to have?
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Stanzie Your post made me laugh.
I agree that these men see themselves as good looking, but I think most of them look below average (I am being kind!).
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Stanzie - I was laughing too by the end and I think you are dead on! It is the visual nature of the thing and then pretty soon they are off in girlie mag land and thinking with the wrong part of their anatomy.
I was in church today thinking that if I ever sign up again......I think it might be a Christian site. I'd like someone with some nice values and the weeding through on the other sites is just too much work!!
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Denise -- where are you these days? How are things going with you and your man?
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Looks like the dating site is dry again! Had a new guy message me on pof and he could be interesting. Problem is he lives 100 miles away and has a summer home in NM so don't know how this could work out if he leaves for a few months. Sigh. . .
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Hi everyone! Things are well so far with my new Italian friend (who I found on Christian Mingle). He's really one of a kind so ladies, don't give up. You may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince! I don't know anyone who wound up with anyone from POF or Match.com but I know quite a few who found the right one on CM.
Getting my new & improved foobs next month. Can't wait. I've hated these since the day they were put in, despite everyone telling me to wait for the "drop & fluff". They still look like hamburger buns to me and they are too far apart. So June 12th I have the 2nd exchange surgery with a different PS.
My new sweetie has to go to South Korea next week on business so I will be at a loss as to what to do with myself for a whole week! Guess I'll be on here more often.
Bless you all.
D.
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Denise - glad to hear your good news - both about your friend and about your new foobs.
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Denise - So happy for you!! It's nice to hear of someone enjoying life and moving on! I have my 2nd exchange surgery in June too - the 27th. I am going to aug. my left and re-exchange, lift up and improve, my rather bunish, sagging foob on the right. Good luck to you with your surgery! I was thinking CM the next time around too..............someday.
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Denise Great to hear that it is working out with the Italian guy.
Also, wonderful that you will be getting your new foobs soon.
You made me laugh when you called your foobs "hamburger buns" lol
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How's everybody?
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Ugh - horrid and depressed and sad...... finished the last bit of giving back stuff to ex and it was awful - lots of rude mean emails and such.... glad it is done. Now the sadness settles in. Anyway.... you know the profiles I filled out on some of the dating sites - Well!! Shoot, the only ones I thought were at all interesting (if I got my nerve up to actually sign up) well the one site has a button you could favorite people so I thought the other one did as well, but the one I thought was saving them (archive) was actually closing them and so when I looked they had all closed me as well.... so maybe if I decide to do this I can just generate a new profile and name... sigh! So much for my week.
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So sorry to hear that! I wrote some pretty long mean emails. Now I wish I didn't only because I think they fell on deaf ears. They were a waste of my time and he could'nt have cared less. So much for lost love! Hope things goes better for you soon. btw - I think my AI makes me depressed. Could this be true for you too?
Denise - I was looking at your sig. and tx, etc. How do you feel about dating and being in a rel. when you aren't happy with your foobs? How do you feel about the surgery coming up? I don't think you should feel anything but happy - am definitely not judging you - I know I would have a hard time with it, but perhaps that is because of the response I got from T ? - disinterest. Also - Are you having any side effects from an AI? I just wonder about someone new accepting all of these things I have to deal with. If my own attitude were better I'm sure it would help but I feel about 10 years older than I am. You know in the morning I wake up in a puddle of sweat - really! I'm soaked. My fingers are a little wrinkly/damp! I need to wear a fresh gown every night. It makes me feel pretty unattractive. And the weight gain due to inactivity, probably being post-menopausal. And I don't really know if I could function well sexually..............I could go on but you get the picture..............
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maybee - I'm not on Al - should be but my onc said for me with the other issues the risks outweighed the benefits.
I think this disease is so utterly horrific and miserable cause it hits women in so many ways, breasts, losing them, not only the way society gives such importance and how it correspsonds to how we feel feminine and pretty but also that breasts give the nourishment for our children so we have all that then we also get thrown into menopause with the lack of estrogen and all that affects concerning sex but also wrinkles, dry skin, and aging in general.... and yet we are told "well you're cured right so what's the big deal? "
I think somewhere Maybee out there there are actual men who can be caring and loving and thoughtful - we just haven't experienced that ..... hopefully I can add a yet to it....
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Yeah - I do think the whole afterwards, postmenopausal, no estrogen thing is really minimized. Maybe because Dr.s just want to do what works, or what is researched and hope you'll stick with it, but there really needs to be more support for the after affects. I have definitely noticed changes in my skin, wrinkles, dryness, etc. I'm surprised because I haven't really taken the AI all that much/long. I was taking ERT before diagnosis though so my body is adjusting to the loss of that estrogen as well.
Yes - this disease is horrible and miserable. Remind me....what are your other medical issues?
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Oh I have MS. I also went into menopause at 37 then HRT so after BC now back into menopause....
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Menopause can be really awful. I had a nurse tell me before my hysterectomy that after a while, and without my periods, I would feel better than ever. What a joke! Adjusting ERT/HRT was a nightmare. I finally got a good dose with a med. that I had next to no side effects with, and then I got BC. Buit......feeling good today, am healthy and well.............and...........the sun is shining!! Have a blessed Day.
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Stanzie, I love your posts! You have so much snap, crackle and pop, you won't be single for long. Remember that.
Congratulatons, Denise!
Run, paintedlady, run! Even on the off-chance all his explanations are true, why would a man who's trying to find someone do so many things to raise suspicions as if he's trying to test his dates. That's all I'ma say on that.
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Thanks CityFi - I can use some self esteem boost! I recently had a young male friend tell me he thought if I parted my hair on the other side it would make me look younger! Hey that works for me ! Of course the chances of a different hair part will turn me into a youthful sweet siren is more far-fetched than I care to think about but hey, I'll try it!
So far no one has noticed....umm??? Other than it totally driving me insane to have my hair in my eyes I'm thinking something along the lines of "MORE" is probably needed. LOL! Well at least I'm starting to at least think about trying to meet someone....and have been trying to walk and get back into shape
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My new "friend" has only seen my foobs briefly. The few times we have made love, I kept my bra or top on. I actually did get aroused which surprised me - it's been so long.
Mybee, I had 1 positive node and am ER+. I refused chemo and after taking the Femara for almost 2 months said "the hell with it" - I'll take my chances". I also have fibromyalgia so the Hormone blocker was wrecking havoc with my joints & was making my depression much worse. I had tumor marker bloodwork done last week and I go for my results this Thursday. I'm going to request a PET scan because Antonio and I are getting pretty serious and before I make any big commitment, I want to make sure I am healthy enough to do so.
So far, the 2 guys I met on Christian Mingle (Antonio & the jerk before him) didn't have any problem with my breast cancer. The jerk never saw the foobs as we weren't intimate (thank you Lord!) but I would like to hope that a decent man wouldn't let it deter him.
I'm getting the foobs redone because they just don't look right. They are not round or even a normal shape. Plus now the left one is much, much lower than the right one. There is too much excess skin and not enough of an implant so my new PS is going to fix them June 12th. There are also too far apart and she hopes to repair that also.
I'm still on the fence about getting the nipples or just doing the 3-D tattoo. I'm going to have see a lot more pictures of the tattoos to help me make up my mind. I just hate the thought of another surgery after this one in June. Anyone on here have experience in this area?
D.
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Denise- There is a good thread- do we still call them that? Anyway, all about 3D tatoo's - There are a couple of women in Florida who do them. Facecrafter in Sarasota and .... shoot can't think of her name but she is in Ft. Lauderdale and then another on the panhandle I belive. Everyone really likes the guy Vinny up in Baltimore though. His website has a picture gallery. Then there is Erleen in N. C. don't know if her site has pictures or not..... Judy who is face crafter - I looked on her website but didn't see any photos.
I hate mine! My PS did the nipples and the tatoo. He said the main risk would they would be too perky and headlight.... NOT there is no projection what-so-ever and I brough a picture of my orginal but he paid no attention ..... and now 2 years out they are so pale, large and flat .... pretty horrible. Well I was astounded to know some PS"s acutally measured the original ones and really made an effort to recreate what one used to look like - must have been nice to have had such a great surgeon... mine - not so good.... Anyway, there is a lot of info but with the new site a ton of scrolling to do and searching.....
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Denise - Thank you for your response. I too like the idea of fixing just for me. To feel more comfortable. And minimize the disappointment.
A suggestion - Maybe let God, and Antonio, decided if you are healthy enough for a greater commitment.
Sometimes we are not the one in charge. Best wishes and blessings with your tests, this week and upcoming.
Ciao.
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Denise - I did the 3D tatoo only and love it - I also didnt want another surgery and my skin is thin from radiation. Also, many people say they flatten out as well. I waited 18 months after my last surgery - was in no rush. If you want a picture PM me.
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