Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Interesting how life turns on a dime. I'm very happy for you, DF. Lots of possibilities now.
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I know, can you believe it???? In the last few months, I met a great guy, ended my temp job, the great guy turned out to be a total A hole, got a new job!! Some ups and downs, but all in all for the good
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YEAH! WONDERFUL FOR YOU! I'M SO VERY HAPPY FOR YOU. IF IT'S JUST 35 MINUTES OR SO, I WOULD STAY WHERE YOU ARE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIKE WHERE YOU ARE. OR, PERHAPS GETTING THIS JOB AND MOVING TO A NEW PLACE WOULD BE SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANT TO DO. Follow your heart! (Sorry for the caps; my computer's getting ready to crash and all kinds of weird stuff with it.)
Good luck to you with your new job, although you won't need it; All you need is to be who you are!
Hugs, Joy
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Thanks so much Joy!!!
I can't wait, still doesn't seem real.0 -
DF having a job is key to overall happiness, Im sure all obstacles will fall into place! I am just so very happy for you. Sound like an exciting new chapter in your life! Well decided to let dateing site expire for now. Just dont have time to play silly games. Does not mean Im not hoping for love and relationship but ......have so much to do around this place. "Handyman" and I have so many projects to get done before bad weather hits, will put date site on hold for awhile. I was so sick and had sooo many complications after my former husband left (he left big mess, and jobs unfinished) . Weve been working hard all year cleaning up mess and putting ranch back together. But were getting there. Maybe in wintertime will jump back on date site. Will check in later going to take bike ride befor it gets much hotter!
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Dragon .. just checking on you .. and hoping you're having a great first day on the job!
hugs,
Bren
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Dragon, hope you are having a fabulous first day
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Kiley, sounds like you have lots to do to keep you busy. Maybe love will find YOU
I survived my 1st day, it was long because I did not sleep last night, lol!!! I finally crashed around midnight and woke up every hour I think? It was great though, I got to tour the aviation and space museum and the new indoor water park they own, got my laptop picked up, and some training done! I'm tired Funny story though... ha ha!! I am supposed to remember to turn off the coffee pots at night when i leave or at least make sure they are off. So I was getting something off the printer and thought I'd check them. it looked like the switch was still in the on position. So I pushed it, nothing happened, pushed it again, nothing so thought forget it and walked off then this lady came around asking if anyone made coffee. I said uh no....thinking I hadn't. Then she said well someone did and hit the brew button twice, there's coffee everywhere
HA HA HA I did NOT admit to that one! 0 -
Omg. The place sounds amazing. Wise not to admit to the coffee....LOL
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I know, I figured I'd be a butt of many jokes if I did Here is a link to the place: http://www.evergreenaviation.com the water park just opened, they have a hollowed out 747 on top of the building where all the slides start at! 0
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DF, congrats on the new job -- and who knows, while you're going around introducing yourself as the new kid on the block, you may find Mr. Right (or at least Mr. small-flaws-will-not-affect-wear.)
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I agree with Lauri and I think work is a fabulous way to meet a man. Ironically, they say "don't play where you work", but I know far too many married couples who met at work.
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Oh My Gosh, Sounds like a GREAT job! I'm so happy for you! Ha Ha Ha, bout coffee pot thing! Of course would hapen on first day! How funny, good not to cop to THAT. "Handyman" came home day early....came straight to my house. Luckily had fresh Albacore tuna salad made as my cupboards were bare, old woman who lives in shoe! He came as usual w gifts. Said something, I'm still reflecting on....maybe share later....
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Had a date last night ---- nice guy --- looks just like my ex - tall, thin, sporty and they have the same name. All the other guys I dated were opposite but after going out with him I realize that's the "type" i like. Physical attraction is only one part of the puzzle but it's important.
Old boyfriend who I dated right after finishing treatment has re-entered the picture and is a "sure thing" - meaning I can trust him but there isn't a lot of "spark" between us - perhaps it is that the "honeymoon" phase is over.
To be continued...
Karyn
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Karyn, good for you! I don't know, I guess since getting BC I don't care about physical appearance in a man. I mean, I'm not ugly or anything, but the stress and treatments do take their toll and I don't look the same as I did before.
Don't get me wrong, I never did place much emphasis on looks in guys, but now I really don't at all.
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Wow - everyone's been so busy! Dragon, sounds like your job is super-wonderful! I'm so happy for you. Think I'm gonna stop looking for a while, at least until I lose the 50 pounds I gained almost three years when doing chemo and eating sweets! LOL. No body likes a fat woman, especially one that had BC, at least not me! Hugs to All and hope everyone having a wonderful day!
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I don't need to lose weight, but my hair looks like a broom and my skin is bad from stress, I guess. No guy wants a broom-headed chick with bad skin, lol! But then again, you never know. Maybe so long as the guy isn't perfect, either...
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Fearless - I've said this before and its worth repeating. I met a great guy 10 weeks after my last chemo - hair was just growing in (not even an inch long) I had no boob and he was able to see past that. Thats how you know the guy is good one.
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Karyn, that is what I like to hear! You are right...
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I had to laugh that you said you met a new guy that has the same name as your ex boyfriend. No way am I doing that again, 2 mike's that were total A-holes... I've told myself, and been told by many others. Do NOT date a Mike again
ha ha! So 3 days of driving that commute so far. I really don't mind the drive itself, other than the time and gas. It's a beautiful drive out on this 2 lane highway through vineyards and farms (yes even a couple dairy farms).... So we'll see how I feel after another week or 2. I'm not even interested in meeting anyone right now. I'm still pissed about the last guy, I need to stop and get him out of my head once and for all. I don't know why I haven't yet.
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This thread is getting busy again. Good for you, Karyn for meeting new men. Dragon, so glad that work is good - I agree you will meet lots of new friends - men and women. Time will take care of those nasty thoughts. What you feel is normal but I think with all the new things going on in your life, he will become a distant memory sooner rather than later Joy I also need to lose at least 50 pounds but 60 would be better. Between this extra weight, balding head, lack of boobs, I am not ready to even look for someone. I've had enough rejection for 2 lifetimes - not going to do that again. Two bouts of BC within 5 years has changed my appearance dramatically - I used to look pretty good (I'm told) but now I look like s#¥t. I will live vicariously through the rest of you
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Awe its 1030 pm and just coming in from working on shop. Good to hear from you karyn, glad your out and about and meeting nice guys! Dragon, sooo happy to hear your enjoying your job! I just knew you would! Joy, fearless, and hrf dont be so hard on yourselves, youve all been thru so much. Sometimes, when your not looking, it may be right in front of you... Nite, and happy dreams to all !
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So my new guy and i becoame FB friends (afte one date and many phone conversations) - I told him all about BC and treatment. He tol dme about his past relationships... I have a habit of looking at other people's friend lists to see if I know anyone. He mentioned I may know one of his friends so I looked at her FB page and photos. Turns out she graduated a year after me in high school. When browsing her photos there was an album titled Chris/Lori wedding. Turns out he was married 2x not once as he told me. Crazy ---- my life could be a movie...
KAryn
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Hrf, you have been through Hell. Just focus on one thing at a time. Lose your weight gradually (please, no unhealthy diets), get your recon,etc... you are going to feel like a new woman - it just is going to take time. Be patient. My recon is moving at a snails pace and I don't mind at all, because I know I will look and feel better. You will, too!
DF, My last two ex's were Mike's, too, lol! Sc*w the Mike's!!
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How is your recon coming along with the implants/expanders fearless? I know my recon made me feel SOOOOOO much better about myself. At least I look great with my clothes on, could lose a few for sure, but right now I could care less about that, just trying to live life! I have more scars from doing the DIEP, but way less belly
Ok fearless, really we should not even consider anyone named Mike. That's just insane, is there some reason they're all a-holes? I look at my online dating site/account and I just don't even see anyone that looks like fun or that I'm interested in. Which is good I guess, not out there chasing guys down. I don't have my daughter for a week or 2 so now would of been a perfect time to go on dates though.
Please think of my friend today, she is a couple years older than me. Found a lump more towards her arm she said (I think sort of by her armpit?) She is going to the doc to get it looked at this morning at 7. She has uteruse or cervical cancer 15 years or so ago, and swears if that's what this is she will NOT do anything about it. If she wasn't in a relationship she wouldn't even be going to the doctor. I said IF IF IF it's bc, it could be as simple as removing the lump so to not be too stupid. She's one of my best friends, a real rock through everything!!!
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Karyn, how do you feel about the fact that new guy didn't provide full disclosure re:# marriages? Is that a deal breaker? ...the fact that he didn't tell the truth, I mean
DF, best wishes to your friend. I hope it turns out to be nothing
Have a good day, everyone0 -
Maybe he only considered it 1 marriage, if he married his 1st (ex) a 2nd time??? What did he say when you asked him, or did you? Interesting.... not sure I'd make a big deal out of it just yet but I'd probably watch for other red flags. I'm jaded like that, so maybe it's nothing. Wow I think I just talked in a complete circly, coffee is NOT kicking in yet!
Thank you HRF, I hope so too!
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HRF - I havent decided yet how i feel. My ex husband cheated on me with my best friend (beofre and during BC treatment) so I have trust concerns. We are going to have date #2 and i'll know then. He did apoligize and said he didn't tell me out of fear. I told him about BC...
KAryn
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I would see that as a huge flag, to lie about number of marriages. I'm very rigid when it comes to honesty. It's okay to hold back a little and say you are not comfortable discussing that yet, but to actually lie about it? I would write him off, to be honest.
Df, that photo looks like Miami Beach! My prayers are with your friend.....
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DF ! Your new picture is stunning! Im praying and sending Positive thoughts for your friend! When I was first dx, w stage 3b I did not want to go thru tx either but things started moving so fast and family talked me into it. Had R cerebrael hemorage after #1 chemo kinda took me out of decision making process. I had IBC so chemo 1st them dbl. mastectomey, w mast found secondary cancerputting me up to stage 4. Had so many complications w chemo and cva, chf but I am here for whatever reason. I have to trust God on that one. I oopted for quality of life not quanity of years. Gave away walker 4 years ago and have not had to use cane in 2 years. So yes there are bumps in the road baut ive managed to stagger thru sometimes I fall. I still want a love in my life even after all that and a abusive bad marrage! I had problems w my skin after chemo also, after chemo we can develope sensativitys to food mine was citrus Stopped guzzling th OJ last summer and my skin has gradually cleared up. I miss the OJ but not the skin break outs! I took the weight off using portion control kinda a weight watcher thing I guess, it was hard but had to do it. I did not think I wanted recon. but when I finally decided to do it gave me much motivation and after amazing motivation! Life is not always kind to us hrf, but be kind to your self. My hair did not come back like it was either, not even the same color, wore scarves and hats alot! Took my hair 2 years to finally fill in. it is not the same,but will have to do! Karyn if your having fun w the guy go out have fun just be wary I certainly understand the trust issues! but just have fun and see what happens! Hoping all will be good! Sorry to ramble on. Take care all!
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