OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid
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LadyinBama: I hope this thread gives you the laughs to help you through your treatment and latest diagnosis. god knows we all need a laugh. Hell, I do some of the crazy health nut stuff we are making fun of but I need the laughs more then I need the vegis.
Salma: OMFG!!! You have got to be kidding me!!?? Of all the stoopid thingsa person can say, this has got to take the cake. I now have a former friend who has now distanced herself because not only did I have the audacity to get a "boob job" but I also lost weight before getting them. Stoopid is as stoopid does, I guess. Puff, puff and passing!
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Oh, yes, the "Free Boob Job" perk of having breast cancer.
If people only knew. 0 -
Maybe the t-shirts for the "Race for the Cure for Stupidity" should have a big "S" on the front like Superman (only in this case it stands for Superstupid). And those currently afflicted with the disease must wear them backwards and inside out either in a size 3 times too small or 3 sizes too big. That way we would identify those suffering from the disease and those just there in support. I think the ribbon should be multi-colored (because stupidity afflicts all races, creeds and colors) but must be worn upside down.
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I think we should be given these Tshirts by our oncs/bs. That way when they have a gift or advice for us, we can give them a shirt.
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Makraz: Yes!!! LOL!! But we would have to buy soooooo many!!!
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ha! here's another stupid moment.
i went in to home depot the day before yesterday ( it's where i work, and currently on LOA), to say hi to some friends, and get out of the house. the minute i walk in one of my co workers comes up to me and starts asking this and that, how ya doing, blah blah.. and then she asks when i am coming back. i tell her, "well, i have 3 weeks of chemo, then i get a month off, have all my scans done then, then it's 6 weeks of radiation. if i can get my energy back in that month off, i may come back 20 hours a week till radiation is done." she replies, as she puts her hand on my shoulder " you know, you are so lucky to have all this time off, you really shouldn't come back till you are all done."
lucky?
all done?
really? D'OH!
people just don't understand how badly we want to just go back to "normal" or our "new normal" and that having 5 months off work has not been anywhere near a f***ing vacation by no means! Kicking Cancer's Ass, really and truely is, a full time job!
i just keep looking for the "luckiness" and "being finished part" while I smoke my joint
puff puff pass.....
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Here's your shirt to give to your coworker, hdangel! She deserves it.
puff puff pass......
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oh yeah, she does!!! but remember, i'm so lucky!!! and my cancer is almost done! lol!!!!
some people's children.....
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Glad to hear your cancer is almost done. I've been done for 2 years but have to constantly go to drs. take meds, have tests.......but yeah, it's done. Maybe we should start a moron thread...
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oh yeah, we need two threads, one for stupidity, and one for morons. cause there are so many of them out there, we need to categorize them! or they all won't fit in the thread!!!!!
oh and to add insult to injury, she wasnt the only one who thought i needed to wait till i'm 'all done" with "cancer",,,,,,,,,,,lol........ i think people are envious of my time off..... like really? want to trade places? go for it!!!
that or they can't possibly figure out that i am going nuts at home with my 3 cats, and dying for social graces, even if it includes work! lol!! i get out and all, but working gives some of us a sense of self and normalcy!
i didn't even TRY to explain that to the morons i was talking too.....
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Ok, so last night, I went to play bingo with a friend. As we were sitting there, she turned to me and said..."My mom got an email the other day...something about how Asparagus is supposed to be really good for someone going through chemo."
I started laughing...until I cried, while she just looked at me like I was crazy. haha...I told her to have her mom send me the email...I haven't seen it! But I want to!
hdangelbaby- I completely know how you feel! As I'm sure a lot of us do...I can't believe she said that to you! People keep telling me I need to rest and take it easy and enjoy time spent at home...and I want to scream! I just want some socialization! I'm sooooooo bored at home! My job keeps telling me I don't have to work (which I do at home actually) and I tell them...If I don't, I'll go crazy, so please let me work!
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Whe you get that Asparagus e-mail please share it with the rest of us.
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Melanie...that is SO funny about the aparagus advice! After being involved on this thread I would have fell off my chair laughing.
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So here's my story...
Off I went today to get some groceries and load up on asparagus. Put on my HAIR and my little crocheted cap so when I tug at my wig people will think I'm just adjusting my hat. ( there's a tip for you all) I get to the store and they are all out of ASPARAGUS. It was on sale this week and there was only one lonely mauled and mangled bunch floating in the bin. Imagine my disappointment. And then I realized that this has GOT to be a conspiracy. THEY don't want us to have the cure..
Either that or ya'll got there before me? *L*
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Last night I was talking to an old friend of my DH on the phone, explaining that I was going through chemo, blah blah blah and then he started talking about a local art exhibit I should go see but then asked me IF I COULD STILL WALK...
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I think he deserves a STUPID T shirt too!
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Salma - now that is one of the STUPIDEST things I've ever heard. We need Stupid Prizes.
BTW - you guys are smoking the asparagus stalks down way too low before you pass it. I keep burning my fingers. I'm lighting up a new stalk if I can figure out which end to light. puff puff....pass.
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Sorry about your burnt fingers. I will pass more quickly.
Puff pass!
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60º in Boston today which means we are getting closer and closer to the wonderful Western Massachusetts asparagus season. These delicates signs of spring have a particularly long burn, and each year women do the "run of the asparagus cure" down the streets of South Hadley.
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Feeling inspired by the many ridiculous cures, I did a search in my junk email...I found this one for Honey and Cinnamon (Which also cures everything from acne to indigestion...Amazing!)
CANCER:
Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month three times a day.Has anyone else been abused by a Reliv person? They say it can't cure anything, but gosh darn it when they took it they didn't have planter facshitis (sp?) or fibromialgia, or any health issues ever!
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Makraz - love the sign!
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Emily- Love it!!!!
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Best thread EVER! Thanks for the laughs! There should be a warning to wear Depends or grab some Bounty before reading all 20 pages in one sitting.
Too bad most stupidity is not terminal, just chronic. (Except for the Darwin award winners.)
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Vinegar too. It cures everything.
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Do you think the Breast Cancer Mushrooms I saw in the produce dept...pink trays and everything...would help???
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Only if you smoke them!
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Stupidity is an absolute epidemic...I was at work today and a colleague started reading an article to me: "The sour sop fruit (guyabano) from the graviola tree is a miraculous natural cancer cell killer 10,000 times stronger than chemo" The article goes on to say "why are we not aware of this? It's because some big corporations want to make back their money spent on years of research by trying to make a synthetic version of it for sale" Wow! How did I miss that one? I could have avoided chemo completely? Too late now... I've never heard of this fruit and have certainly never eaten one-maybe that's why I got BC! We may be up against multiple conspiracies. The cure guy must have a lot of connections in these big corporations. I think we may be looking for a large network of people!
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A gardener friend of mine came up to me Saturday, excited to share with me that her asparagus was coming up - she didn't quite understand why I started cackling. It's all this thread's fault that now she KNOWS I'm crazy. I'm not up to smoking, so I'll just pass without puffing. 0
